A heartless soul forever more
Fluttershy closed her eyes, wrapping her hooves around the clear glass filled with dark brown liquor as she sat atop a lonely stool, racing her mind through all the events that had occurred... “Macintosh,” Fluttershy whispered in a mix of rage and sorrow, staring at her blood stained hooves.
Her matted fur and mane basked in the light of single bar lamp. She looked over at her companion, the one who would again sooth the despair in her heart, if only for a short while. She moved her trembling hoof and embraced him, bringing her dry lips to his glassy ones, feeling as his fire slowly filled her mouth and throat, sinking deeper, tugging at her mind. Soon, however, she would break this kiss as she once again laid the now half empty glass on the counter.
The buttercup mare looked with lazy eyes at the smoke from her Diseased Stallion cigarette, which slowly drifted through the air above Thunderlane's head, "You keep preaching as if you know me... but, do you really? Have you ever known what it’s like to wake up every single day with an empty hole in place of your heart? Knowing that it once beat strongly with life?" she asked with a mocking smile, berating the colt before her as she looked into his eyes.
"Of course you don't. You stallions are all the same. You all believe I have a problem and talk about it as if it concerns you... but in the end, you only talk. You and Mac are exactly the same." Her voice, which ringed into his now drooping ears, held scorn with a hint of mirth as he snorted and gazed at the mare that took another drag of smoke.
“What happened to you, Shy?” The stallion questioned, gesturing towards her hooves covered in dried blood, to which she only scoffed.
“Got into a little... disagreement with my mate. Words were flung... threats were made... and, to put it simply, he tried to comfort me and I hit him. I broke his nose and he called me a husk of the mare I once was before storming out. It’s like I said... stallions are all the same.” She replied casually, as if what happened was a part of her every day life, in truth, it seemed to be.
“You two’ve been together for two months though, Fluttershy. He tried to help you, I tried to help you... you can’t place the blame on those only offering their aid-”
“And what if I never asked for their bucking aid, Thunderlane. It’s my choice to drink; it was my choice to glance at Big Macintosh that night at Roseluck’s party and it was my choice to have a few beers, trot over to him and talk... which led to... this.” She spat cruelly, making her friend wince. He knew she never swore unless necessary as she pointed a hoof at her growing stomach, flicking her tail in agitation.
Thunderlane sighed loudly, scowling as he watched her drown the contents of her glass before turning his head away, saddened at the state she had allowed herself to become.
“I thought you had wanted a foal though? A child to raise, nurture and love through all the-”
“You thought wrong, Thunder. I never asked to get pregnant that night, I was just trying to have a few drinks and maybe get laid. I got both of those and an... unwanted burden I’m carrying around now, with no father to care of it. I never wanted to be a mother, still don’t. Not every mare wants kids you know, always had a feeling I’d end up just like my mother... never thought I’d be just like my hit it and quit it father either though, seems to run in the family... heh. Ironic, isn't it?”
There was an awkward, uneasy pause that lingered in the air as one Fluttershy’s oldest friends pondered what to say, not wanting to make the mare even more enraged, but not wanting to seem fragile or soft hearted either. She needs a firm hoof to guide her through this, it seemed.
“So your plan is to drown the poor soul in alcohol? Just letting it die instead of maybe considering adoption or…” He did not want to speak of the other option; it sent shivers down his spine... of the Element of Kindness doing something so cruel and heartless.
“Seems to be the route I’m taking, doesn't it? But it doesn't matter, one way or another the kid has got to go. You want to convince a mare to have a child and love it like it was her own flesh and blood, go talk to Pinkie Pie, and I don’t need your help.” She whispered, narrowing her eyes as she beckoned the bartender over to refill her glass as she took another drag of her cigarette with Thunderlane watching the embers burn brightly, before they slowly faded as she blew the smoke from her nostrils with a twitch of her ear.
With a sigh, he lowered his ears and flicked his tail before asking if she had attended any of her AA meetings like he’s been trying to get her to do for the last three years. Her bitter laugh proved it was still a pointless gesture as she grabbed the glass and took a sip.
“Thunder, you should know me by now... when have I ever attended one of Cheerliee’s ‘healing’ classes? They never work, one way or another, temptation takes over the mind and rears its ugly head. Sometimes you can't break an addict from a habit. Sometimes you just have to let the habit... break the addict. The day mine does that... is the day I die.” She said without any feeling, forcing him to shake his head, clearing his conflicting thoughts on why he even bothered to help her if she always turned him away.
“You need to get better Shy, you need to at least try to find some sort of-”
“Redemption? For what, so I could go back to the sweet, gullible mare I once was? To be the dimwitted, always looking for the positive spin in life, giving every creature a chance, Element of Kindness?” she answered darkly with a scowl, making the stallion grit his teeth, seeing how she always tries to figure out what she ‘thought’ he was going to say, annoying him to no end.
“Yes. At least than, the Fluttershy I knew would've never been this... monster that you turned out to be. You would’would've never been this cruel, heartless mare you are now... you don’t deserve to have that title anymore... Element of Kindness.” he growled, shoving his face near her own, but backing away when the smell of booze that reeked from her mouth overpowered his fading will. She only responded with a snort as she trailed the edge of her glass with a hoof with an emotionless expression on her face.
“You think I asked for that damn jewel that forced me to go hunting after all sorts of creatures and contain them with six other mares, simply because the Gods have no more connection to them? I did not ask to be a wielder of one of the six most powerful jewels in Equestria, Thunder. I never wanted such... spotlight.” she said in a calm, almost sad tone, making him wonder if she felt regret for the path she traveled.
“You know, Fluttershy. There will come a point when you’ll regret this... animal you’ve become. And trust me, when I say this. When that time does come, don’t expect me to ever forgive you for wanting to make amends, I’m done trying to be the shoulder to cry on for your pity party.” He spat coldly as he stood, watching as she sucked in the last of her stick and blew it out the side of her mouth with her head bowed, not a word of apology spoken before he trotted out of the bar and out of her life.
As she heard the swinging doors of the bar, she felt tears brim on the corners of her eyes, trying to escape before she wiped them away.
Nopony bothered to help her like Thunderlane did. Rainbow tried, but quit after the first year, some Element of Loyalty she turned out to be. Fluttershy thought with a snort as she realized how alone she truly was. Her other friends seemed to abandon her as the years gone by, making excuses here and there to not visit her, not being fond of the mare she turned into.
Extinguishing her cigarette on the ashtray before her, she drank the last of her drink before frowning into the empty glass, wondering what happened to make her life so... empty. She knew she needed help, she did have a serious problem, but she never thought it would ruin her life the way it did.
She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't notice the sound of another pony walking up to her until she sat right beside her, causing her to glance at her new blond companion, Derpy Hooves, who sighed into her seat and ask for a Hayseed beer, to which the bartender nodded and went to fetch her drink.
Derpy glanced over at the broken shell of a mare, raising an eyebrow and opening her mouth to say something, no doubt to ask her what was wrong, before thinking better and closing it silently to replace it with a cigarette instead. Lighting with a match in her tail and inhaling deeply, she ignored the pony she had once called ‘friend,’ the very same pony she’s been with throughout the years of school as Fluttershy’s ears and tail lowered in shame.
As the other Pegasus received her drink and was quietly sipping it, Fluttershy dejected stood from her seat, payed for her drinks, and walked away from the only pony in the bar she thought would care about her. She couldn’t care less about the rain, even as it soaked her to her very bones, she was only focused on the route home.
But as she wandered through the mud, she felt herself trip over her own hooves and fell flat on her face. She felt her nose snap as she landed in an awkward angle and tried to stumbled herself upright, only succeeding in falling over once more before weeping into the mud that now stained her fur, desperately trying to at least keep her eyes from closing, only to have yet another attempt unheeded.
Spasming in pain on the cold ground laid the sprawled Pegasus, her tears still falling in her unconsciousness state as the heavy rain poured from the Heavens, mixing with ground and matting her fur, accompanied by only the sound of a pair of hooves resonating around the darkness.
A powerful being, one who no longer bothered with things as simple as cold or wetness, looked down on her fallen subject.
Princess Luna, the Goddess of the Night, the moon, stars, dreams, and the nightmares alike, looked calmly over the sleeping mortal, her muzzle set in a frown but eyes unreadable, staring intently at the sight before her.
It was a rare occurrence in her life, to look upon one of her friends and see the shell that remained of their former self. This degraded mare before her didn't present the once glorious sight which she came to recognize as this generation’s embodiment of kindness.
Sighing loudly, she pondered about the fragility of life and gently proceeded to touch the mare... she wanted to help her, but stopped herself an inch above. It wasn't the place of a Goddess to interfere into mortal affairs such as this, for it was Fluttershy alone who needed to find her lost light once again, or at least what remained of it.
Breathing heavily, the dark mare turned around and returned the way she came, her presence slowly fading into the realm of dreams, where Fluttershy still happily gleamed as the young mare she once was, which had all of her once blissful future before her.
Author's Note
In all honestly this was merely a story written to prove that some creatures don't always have happy endings as they grow older, say what you wish on this.
