Tabula Rasa

CRASH

Both Cheerilee and Berry Punch stopped their conversation and turned around to face the source of the noise. Their eyes followed an approaching trail of brownish liquid and met the broken porcelain of Berry Punch’s tea kettle scattered over the rug. Cheerilee winced as she acknowledged that the tea would probably leave a stain on the thick wool fibers.

“I’m... I’m sorry.” Ruby Pinch said apologetically. The filly was on the floor, a few hooves away from the broken tea kettle. ‘She probably slipped, poor thing.’ Thought Cheerilee when she saw the small scrape on one of the filly’s forelegs. Cheerilee got up from her seat and lay down next to the filly, who was nearly in tears.

“It’s alright, Ruby. You just have to be more careful, that’s all.” Ruby Pinch lifted her head and stared at her aunt’s eyes. Her gaze conveyed care and an almost motherly love. Ruby maintained her gaze fixed for a moment, but lowered it and started sobbing slowly. “Oh, Ruby, you don’t need to cry. It was only a tea kettle, after all.” Cheerilee said, lightly stroking her mane.

“I- It’s not t- t- that...” She stuttered in between sobs. Cheerilee waited for her to continue, but the filly kept sobbing.

“Then what is it, dear?” She asked, lifting the filly’s head with one of her forehooves. The filly opened her mouth to answer her aunt’s question but something made her shudder slightly. Ruby’s gaze lowered once again when it, moments before, met her mother’s eyes. Berry Punch’s face was one of annoyance and stern reprimand. Shutting her eyes as hard as she could, Ruby Pinch tried her hardest to hold back the streaming tears and swallow her whimpers.

Just a few seconds passed until the filly was able to control herself enough not to sob. She got up on her hooves and looked at the mess that now stood by Cheerilee’s side. “I’ll go get a piece of cloth...” She said, sounding dejected, before slowly began walking towards the kitchen with her head hanging.

“I’m sorry, sis. Ruby hasn’t been feeling very well recently.” Berry Punch added to her sister, prompting the mare to stand up and turn around to address her.

“She looks so... glum. And frightened...” Cheerilee stated, putting her hoof under her chin.

“I’ll be sure to talk to her, Cheery.” Berry Punch said, smiling at her sister. “I’m sure it’s just a phase... you know how growing up fillies can be silly. And you know just how an over reactive pony Ruby is...” She placed her hoof on her sister’ shoulder.

“I hope so...”

* * *

When Ruby was out of the mares’ line of sight, she sniffed a few times and cleaned her tears with her hoof. ‘Gosh, Ruby! Why do you have to be so clumsy? I just hope mommy isn’t mad at me.’ She silently berated herself as she slowly made her way to the pantry beyond the kitchen. Opening a few drawers before finally finding the rags that were used for cleaning, she picked up a few of the old ones and set them over her loin. Ruby looked around; searching for a plastic bag she could use to put the ceramic shards in before throwing it all in the trash.

She found a spare plastic bag lying on the floor and picked it up with her teeth. She trotted back to the living room, but stopped halfway when she heard Cheerilee and her mother talking. She hid behind a corner and perked her ears up to listen what the mares were talking about, but both seemed to stop talking just when she acknowledged the conversation. The sound of keys clanking together made her heart race a bit.

‘Oh no! Cheerilee is going already?’ The filly thought, biting her lower lip. ‘Please stay, Cheerilee. Please, please, please, please...’

* * *

“Oh Ruu-by?” Berry Punch called her in a joyful tone, which made her breathe a sigh of relief. ‘Well, mommy doesn’t seem to be angry about the broken tea kettle anymore.’ Ruby slowly stepped out from the corner she was hiding and lay the plastic bag she had been carrying on the floor.

“Yes, mommy?” She asked, eyes never leaving the floor.

“I’m going to the town with Cheerilee and we’ll be a while off. Can I trust you to keep the house in order?” She smiled warmly at her daughter.

“Yes, mommy. I promise I won’t break anything else.” She lifted her head and gave both mares a weak, but truthful smile.

“Alright, I’m counting on you.” Berry Punch said, walking towards the little filly and gently kissing her forehead, making Ruby’s smile widen considerably.

“Bye, Ruby!” Cheerilee happily exclaimed.

“Bye, Cheerilee.” She said, her smile growing wider.

“Love you, sweetie.” Berry said before leaving the house and locking the door behind her. Ruby looked at the broken tea kettle on the floor and trotted towards it, intending on leaving the house in pristine condition for when her mommy returns.

* * *

Ruby estimated that at least three hours had passed since her mother left with Cheerilee. The filly did an amazing job at cleaning the broken kettle and removing most of the stains on the rug; it would take a keen eye and the will to do so in order to spot said stains. Ruby Pinch helped herself to dinner and cleaned the whole lot of dirty dishes. She was just getting ready to take her bath in the tub when she heard the sound of hoofsteps accompanied by the opening and closing of a door.

“Ruby, I- I’m home.” Berry Punch exclaimed from the first floor. Ruby thought that her voice sounded a little bit dragged, but paid it no heed.

“I’m up here.” The filly replied and got inside the bathtub, allowing the warm water to soak her coat completely; a calming sensation instantly washed over her whole body. Inhaling deeply, she dove underwater and opened her eyes. The blurry vision mixed with the warm feeling of weightlessness made the calm in her soul even more tangible. She didn’t wait for her lungs to ache before resurfacing. The filly gingerly spat the little amount of water inside her mouth back to the tub, taking joy in hearing the funny splashing sound it made. Giggling a bit, she proceeded to pound the water with her little forehooves, splashing it all over the floor.

“Quite the mess you’re doing there.” Came a voice from the outside the bathroom. Ruby immediately ceased her assault on the water and looked to her left. Standing on her four hooves and her weight rested against the door stop was Berry Punch. The filly blushed a bit, which prompted her mother to giggle lightly. “Let me help you with that.” She said and slowly walked towards the tub, sitting on her haunches next to it.

Ruby hoofed the little brush and sponge that floated on the tub’s water to her mother, which took in her own hooves. Berry grabbed a bar of soap and scrubbed it against the brush for a moment, leaving it coated in tiny white bubbles. She placed the bar of soap on the floor and proceeded to gently rub the filly, paying extra attention in being gentle near the eyes or ears. Ruby felt something warm in her chest; something she knew she longed for, even though she didn’t know what it was. That feeling quickly subdued, making way for guilt. Guilt of not directly apologizing to her mother after breaking her tea kettle. Summoning all the courage inside of her, Ruby slowly turned to her mother and tried her hardest to look her in the eyes, but found out that she couldn’t.

“Mommy?” She shyly asked, blushing a bit.

“Yes, dear?” Berry said, taking the brush away from the little filly and placing it on the ground.

“I’m... I’m sorry, mommy.” She filly said, raising her eyes to meet her mother’s.

A warm, gentle smile formed on the adult mare’s muzzle. She grabbed the filly by the shoulders and pulled her closer. After placing a gentle kiss next to her horn, the mother gently pushed the little filly away from her and saw a small on the filly’s face. “That’s alright, dear.” She said, stroking her mane with her forehoof. “You just have to be more careful.”

With a force that startled the little filly, Berry Punch gripped her head in between both forehooves and pushed her deep under the water. She opened her mouth to scream, only to take in water, her voice unheard above the surface, greeted only by the gargling shriek of her fear-driven effort. Struggling to free herself from her mother’s grasp, the little filly kicked the water desperately. The frictionless surface of the tub made all her efforts in vain. Her heart accelerated so much, so fast that it pounded against her chest visibly. With her limbs aching and her lungs burning, Ruby felt her vision slowly turning to black.

Before she lost her conscience, she felt the same hoof that kept her underwater, pull her from what she felt was her humid demise. The first thing she did upon reaching the surface was to inhale deeply, trying to soothe her burning lungs. It was short lived though, as Berry Punch pushed her back inside the water once more, making the filly take in more water inside her lungs. She felt the liquid swirl around inside of herself as she fought against the hard grip. Just as she once more, felt her conscience almost slip away, a violent tug brought her back to the surface.

A sharp intake of breath brought the needed air to her lungs, making the pain in them even more tangible. She felt her both her stomach and lungs compress against themselves, making her gag and cough at the same time. With a pained expression etched into her face, the filly opened her mouth and felt that breathing was unbearable. Painfully furrowing her brows, she forced the water mixed up with bile out of herself, pouring from both her mouth and nostrils. Without waiting for her daughter to recover, Berry Punch gripped her body and dragged the still-struggling filly out of the bathtub. Dropping her on the floor, she picked up the wooden brush and proceeded to beat her daughter with it.

The first hits were barely acknowledged by the filly, as her primary goal was to reestablish her breathing. Bile-spilling coughs erupted from her stomach, as well as gurgling sounds of her airways trying desperately to rid themselves of water. When she finally came to her senses, she was able to feel an intense pain all over her body. The pain was permeated with a sense of numbness, making her mother’s screams seem almost unintelligible. Her little hooves rose, trying in vain to protect her frail body at all costs.

“YOU WORTHLESS-” She raised the brush and brought it down upon her with all the force she was able to muster. “PIECE OF-” Once more the brush hit her, leaving a sore, red mark on the spot. Gripping one of her daughter’s hoof and pulling it away from her, Berry Punch made an opening to strike the filly in the head. “SHIT!” As the wooden brush connected to her skull, Ruby felt her vision turn to a murky shade of white. An incessant ringing sound made its way inside of her brain as she felt herself losing control of her body. Her bladder emptied on the floor, making Berry’s anger soar. Channeling all her ire, Berry threw the wooden brush against the helpless filly, whom barely seemed to acknowledge the impact.

Berry Punch felt herself nearing a heart attack. Feeling her pounding heart under her chest as she gripped it, she inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself. Looking over to the filly who was visibly moaning in pain, she let out a smirk. She inched her body closer to her daughter’s and gripped her head with her forehoof. She dragged the filly across the floor, rubbing her face against it until the filly’s head was near the small urine pool. Forcing her daughter’s head, face-first into the yellowish pool, she pushed her head further down, soaking her mane and forelock into the urine. She laughed as she used her daughter as a scrub to clean the floor. Little Ruby Pinch was now aware of her senses and began to cry, salty tears mixing with the puddle her face was being rubbed upon.

Pain erupted in her forehead as Berry Punch yanked her from the floor and brought Ruby to her own eye level. She barely saw the hoof her mother brought against her cheek. With another disorienting hit, Ruby’s body swayed from side to side limply; her nostrils slowly dripping crimson blood drops. Gripping her head with both hooves, Berry brought the filly closer to her and stared furiously into her eyes. “Clean yourself, this mess and go straight to bed. I don’t want to hear another peep from you, do you understand me?” The little filly simply whimpered in response, prompting Berry to violently shake her by the hair. “I SAID, DO YO UNDERSTAND ME?!”

Ruby hesitated for a moment before quickly nodding; a feat which brought another deal of sharp pain to her scalp. “Good.” Berry Punch said before unceremonially letting go of the filly, allowing her to drop limply to the floor. The filly remained still after she felt the cold pang from the floor against her ribcage. Forcefully shutting her eyes, she waited until the hoofsteps of her mother died in the distance before allowing her sorrow to completely embrace her. The tears that now streamed down her cheeks mixed with the blood droplets that dripped from her nostrils. The small filly kept asking herself why she believed that her mother wouldn’t be angry with her anymore. She mentally berated herself for not running into her loving aunt’s hooves, telling her all her mother did to her already. It was then that she felt a deep fear inside herself. Fear for Cheerilee’s life. She feared what her mother would do to both of them is such thing happened. Ruby Pinch allowed herself a couple more minutes of silent sobbing before getting up and finishing what her mother told her to.

* * *

Next day (Sunday, she was planning on going out and playing with Dinky): locked in closet. Boogiemare!

* * *

Describe the state of the house, getting filthier and filthier as the time passes.

* * *

Hoof on the stove -> burn. Headbut -> doctor “I... I fell down some stairs.”

Mind breaking - Reality altering

Cheerilee dying with Runy watching

Happy world -> ask where is cheerilee -> ENDING

PAIN IN HOOVES -> SPECIFY DEEP GLASS SHARD

“IT WAS MY FAULT”

ENDING

“Mommy... where is auntie Cheerilee?”

At that moment, Berry Punch really lost her temper. She picked up the bottle she had been drinking from moments ago threw it towards the scared filly. “You’re worthless!” The bottle spun in the air and missed the paralyzed filly by mere inches, scattering shards around the floor and soaking the living room’s rug with alcohol. “You are the reason everything in my life is so bucked up!” Berry Punch moved to the other side of the table and began to throw more bottles at Ruby Pinch. The little filly galloped around the living room, dodging the thrown objects. Various glass shards on the floor sunk deep in her hooves as she trotted over them.

“Mommy, please stop!” Ruby Pinch pleaded with her mother in between breaths as tears streamed from her eyelids. Pausing for a moment in order to look at her mother, time seemed to slow down. She saw with blurry eyes the glass bottle spinning slowly towards her and her mother’s hateful eyes watching her. The bottle connected to Ruby Pinch’s body and shattered, leaving deep cuts on her coat that were soon dripping with crimson red blood. The filly met the floor with a hard thud and braced herself for more probable incoming attacks.

Berry Punch galloped to the filly and stopped by her side, an empty bottle on her hooves. “IF IT WEREN’T FOR YOU, HE WOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT ME BEHIND! YOU DID THIS, YOU WORTHLESS BITCH!” She yelled and brought the glass bottle hard upon the filly. The bottle didn’t shatter at the impact, but Berry Punch wasn’t one to let that stop her. Letting the glass bottle fall to the floor, she picked up her own daughter and hurled her to the other side of the room. The filly hit the wall and plummeted to the wooden floor, groaning out loud. Ruby Pinch lifted her head and saw her mother walking bending down to pick up the glass bottle.

“Mommy, no! Please!” The little filly tried to yell, but it only came out in a muffled, almost unintelligible sound. Fighting the burning sensation in her lungs, the little filly tried again. “Please, mommy! It wasn’t my fault!” She said, not knowing if it really would make any difference. Berry Punch bent down again and broke the glass bottle on the rug she was on. Breathing slowly and deeply, she pointed the spiky bottle at her daughter, staring at her with wide eyes and a deep frown.

“BURN IN HELL!” She yelled and lunged forward. Time once again slowed down for Ruby Pinch. Her mother lifted one of her hind legs and shifted her body weight upon the other hind leg, building enough force to leap at her daughter and end her own torment. The soaked rug lost its friction and followed the hind leg movement. Soon, Berry Punch was falling to the ground, spiky bottle still pointing at her daughter, as the rug was sent backwards and into the lit fireplace. The rug instantly caught fire and Ruby Pinch was able to see the trail of blue flames going towards her mother. Berry Punch never got a chance to look behind; soon the flames were dancing all over her body, licking it in searing-white pain.

Unequine howls came forth from the mare’s throat as she desperately got on her four hooves and tried to extinguish the fire on her body. “I’LL KILL YOU!” She yelled, searching frantically for her daughter with the same insane intent on her mind. Her vision, however, was obscured with the fireball that Berry Punch had become. Her eyelids burned and she felt her tear ducts trying to forcefully pump tears into her slowly melting eyes. Haggardly stumbling around the inferno her living room had become, Berry Punch screamed and fell to the floor many times; her pain making her unable to actively concentrate on her movement. “WHERE THE BUCK ARE YOU, YOU LITTLE BITCH?! ”

Ruby Pinch was now up on her four hooves as well, staring at the scene with wide, emotionless eyes. The pain in her hooves didn’t matter to her. The burning mare in front of her didn’t matter. The thick, black smoke that was making the air heavy didn’t matter to her. She knew she was needed elsewhere. The filly simply turned around and slowly walked towards the stairs. She climbed each step with decision, trying to ignore the sharp pain in her hooves. The howls and screams of that burning mare sent chills down her spine, but she knew she couldn’t give up now. She reached the top of the stairs and felt the air a little heavier than before, but shrugged it off. Mechanically opening her bedroom door, the filly made her way inside and stopped, looking at her small bed. A soft, genuine smile formed on her lips, but a chilly breeze from outside the open window sent shivers down her spine.

Closing and locking the door behind her, the filly walked towards the window to close it as well, little bloody pools stood on the places her hooves met the wooden floor. She took some time to admire the beautiful full moon on the sky. The white light bathed her body and for the first time in months, she felt true happiness. Climbing on top of a small wooden bench, the filly closed the windows and jumped on top of her small bed. She looked to her side and breathed a sigh of relief when she acknowledged that those spine tingling screams were now gone. Her gaze shifted towards a little pony doll over her night-table, which sat with its back against her lampshade. The happiness that washed the filly before was replaced with deep sorrow. Picking up the small doll with her teeth, she let it down over her lap.

“Shhhh... don’t you cry.” She said allowing the tears to flow freely from her eyes as she gently strokes the doll’s mane. “Mommy is here. Everything is going to be OK, little Ruby Pinch.”

Did you know? Not so-recent studies compared human babies that were physically abused and babies that were completely neglected. This study showed that the mistreated babies actually miss their mothers and cry for them when feeling lonely, even if doing so will bring them more pain. The neglected babies will show signs of sociopathic personality, unable to feel loneliness or any other emotion.