A Simple Stallion

Twilight Sparkle was sitting at her desk, fervently studying her magic. It had only been two weeks since she had moved into the small town of Ponyville. All was well, until she heard a knock at the door.

“Spike, can you go and see who that is?” She asked.

“Sure thing, Twilight.” Spike, a dragon baby, who is a long-time friend and assistant of Twilight said.

As Spike opened the door, humming to himself, he saw a unicorn stallion with a medium lengthened, light sepia coat, piercing blood-red eyes, and a long straight mane that was black, ending in white tips. The stallion was wearing a black trench coat and was sporting a very clean shaven muzzle.

He was also wearing a black satin fez.

The stallion spoke in a thick (and British) accent,

“I heard that this is the library of this town, is it not?”

“It is the library!” Spike gleamed, “One second though.”

Spike paced to Twilight’s desk and had a look of confusion.

“What’s bothering you Spike?” She asked.

“There’s a strange stallion standing by the-” Spike said as he was cut off by the sound of the door swinging open.

“Excuse me! But is it a custom here to leave your guests waiting outside for a few seconds on end?” the stallion said in a loud, but moderately calm voice as he went to examining some of the book spines facing him.

“Excuse me sir, but what are you doing?” Twilight asked in a slightly annoyed tone.

“I am here to read and learn, not to stand and wither away outside like some cold mongrel!” He stated matter-of-factly as he grabbed a few books off of the shelves. “I heard that this is a public library, but if I am mistaken, then can you please point me in the correct direction?”

“Oh!” Twilight let out in a surprised tone, “I've lived in here for so long now, and no one has shown up, that I guess, I forgot about the whole public part!”

“Oh, there’s no need to apologize my friend! Would you mind making me a library card so that I may come back and, um… well you know… get more books?” He asked in a polite tone.

Twilight went up to her desk, but then realized that she did not know how to make a library card. But then an idea struck her! She took one of her blank note cards and used an image copying spell to put his face on the card. She briefly thought back to the memory she had of Celestia teaching her the spell. Of course Twilight never thought that the spell would be of any use.

“Whenever you want to check out any books, I can ring you up right over here!” Twilight said in a happy tone, whilst gesturing towards here small desk.

“Amazing, simply wondrous! Thank you, Ms…?”

“Twilight, Twilight Sparkle.”

“What a nice name. Here are my books Twinkles.” He stated in a playfully mocking tone.

“Okay, so you are checking out The Ranger’s Apprentice, The Workings of The Spectral World, The Lord of The Rings (all of them!?!), and the… Communist Manifesto?” Twilight asked with a confused tone at the end.

“Yes I… Well you see… Okay, yes I’m a Socialist. Big whoop.” The stallion said in a tone that made it seem like he had to explain his governmental views one too many times.

“Okay then…” Twilight said as she began ringing up the books. She tried to break the awkward silence between them. “I’m going to need a name for this card of yours.”

“Oh, my name is Red.” He said in a mostly polite tone, “By the way, do you know any good places to eat? I only had crumpets and green tea for breakfast.”

“Sure! Just follow me.”

“Okay, good. Like I said, starving away here!” Red said in a fast and slightly annoyed tone as he pulled Twilight from the library.

-Outside the library-

As the two walked down the street, they met a familiar face.

“Look out!” a cyan Pegasus pony with a rainbow mane and tail cried out.

“Bloody hell! You damn near nicked me!” Red stated in a surprised tone.

“Sorry about that Twilight, I was practicing some of my wing work.” Rainbow Dash said in an apologetic tone.

“Yes yes, of course, forget the stallion that you almost killed. That’s a very nice friend making strategy!” He said in an angered tone.

“Who’s this Twilight, your coltfriend?” Rainbow asked.

“What! No! He’s… I just met him in the library, ok!” Little Miss Sparkle said, flustered.

“And yet you are still fucking forget about me?” Red yelled.

“Oh, I’m sorry! Did you need a bandage to cover up your nonexistent bruises?” Rainbow asked in a sarcastic tone.

“You know what!” Red said in a flirtatious, but ever so slightly cynical, tone, “I really like you. You have the right amount of spunk for a mare. Call me sometime.”

“Oh, thanks?” Rainbow said, obviously blushing through here coat.

“Now, I was looking for some place to eat with my new friend Sparkly over there.”

Red said in a generous voice, “Would you know of such an establishment?”

“Sure, there’s this place down the block called Sugar Cube Corner, you can’t miss it.” The Pegasus said, “In fact, I think I’ll meet you there. I’m starving from all this exercise!”

“Fine by me Rainbow.” The purple coated mare said.

“Yes, yes, but I do believe that I am quite famished and this has been a quaint little meeting,” Our favorite cynical stallion chirped, “But it has come to say our goodbyes for now. See you around Dashy!”

“Good bye Rainbo-!” Twilight said as she was pulled away by Red.

-In Town, At Sugar Cube Corner-

“Oi! I am just practically withered away! I really need to stop eating just crumpets, but the damn rascals are so convenient and are simply adoring when given a coat of butter to them!” Red stated exuberantly.

“Sounds… hearty?” A particular purple unicorn said, uncertainly.

Twilight and Red had just gotten to Sugar Cube Corner, and where sitting down at a table, conversing about their day.

Red was looking over the menu, noting how there was only two pages of food, while there was at least five pages worth of desserts. He was just about to order his beans on rye toast, with a side of Elma Çay (Apple Tisane. It’s Turkish. Get over It.), when a familiar pink earth-pony came bouncing towards the duo.

“ICAN’TBELIEVETHATIMISSEDYOUEARLIERTODAYWEWOULDHAVEHADSOMUCHFUNIFYOULETMETHROWTHATPARTYFORYOUBYTHEWAYHOWHAVEYOUBEENIHAVEBEEN-”

“OI! CAN’T A STALLION GET SOME FUCKING PEACE AROUND HERE?” Red screamed, “ALL I ASK FOR IS SOME FUCKING QUITE TIME, NOT A GOD DAMNED PARADE IN MY MOTHERFUCKING HONOR, YOU CLUNGE!”

Pinkie Pie stood for a second before slowly crying and walking away. As she got to the stairs that led the top floor, she began balling and running to her room. Everybody looked at Pinkie before staring at Red. He simply shot them all a glare with his blood “red” (heh) eyes, and they all immediately looked down to their own food. Twilight stared at Red with a mix between fear and surprise. She had never heard anyone swear that badly before, let alone at Pinkie Pie.

“Why… Why did you have to yell all of those offensive words at her?” She asked, about to cry.

“Well you see-” He said as his and Twilight’s food came, “Thank you kindly! You see, I tried to get her off my tail all day! As soon as I walked into town, she started stalking me, shooting a canon at me, and trying kidnapping me!”

“Well, that’s Pinkie for you.”

“Well nothing!” He took a bite out of his beans on toast, “She should have been civilized and said ‘oh hello there kind sir, would you mind if I threw a party for you?’”

They finished up their meal, and Red pulled out a coin pouch.

“Let me pay, it’s the least I can do for you after what I did to her. I’m going to have to have a talk with her the next time I come through here.”

“Thanks Red, just please don’t forget to apologize!” Twilight said with a look of concern on her face.

“I won’t, now I must be off! See you in a little while Sparkly!” Red said while sprinting out of Sugar Cube Corner.

Just as he was leaving, Rainbow Dash walked in and sat next to Twilight.

“What happened here?”

“It’s gonna be a long story Rainbow.”