A Simple Stallion

"Tis a good day to be alive! Praise the sun!" Red paused for a second. He was wearing a half-plate half-chainmail armor set with a bucket helmet that had a long red feather stuck to the right side of it. He was also wearing a long, white tunic with a sun on it, that covered his armored torso. He also had a longsword strapped to his left side. He looked down at his Solaire of Astora armor and said to himself,  "Maybe I should stop playing Dark Souls... nah! I'll be fine! I always have been. Well, except for that one time in the Chry- hey what's that?"

Red was looking at a broken down cart on the side of the road. He saw a light-blue colored unicorn mare in a comical wizard's outfit.

"Hello there mister, would you be so kind as to help me fix up my cart?" The mare asked him.

"Why sure thing Miss, tis my chivalrous duty!"

"Oh, thank Celestia! I wouldn't know what to do if... What are you wearing?" She said as she noticed the armor that Red was wearing.

"Oh, this?" Red said as he motioned to his armor. "This is just some armor that I made to commemorate my favorite person of all time. Solaire of Astora!"

"Who's that?"

"Oh, umm." Red said as he tried to explain, "Well, umm, he's from a video game, and I just kind of got inspired! He is pretty badass though! I do wish that I could be so grossly incandescent!"

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. Sorry if I'm scaring you." Red said as he took off his helmet. This revealed that he was, in fact, wearing a white fez under the helmet. He began his work on the cart, successfully using his magic to fix the busted wheel. But his magical aura was looking sinister.

"Say, how did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Totally fix the wheel when it was smashed into several pieces?"

"Well magic of course!"

Trixie gave a sigh. "I know that, but what kind of magic?"

"Ancient magic." Red said in a slightly saddened tone. "Very ancient magic that I once used for other means. I'm sorry miss, but I have to get going."

Red put his helmet back on as he walked away. Old memories filling his head.

"There is no light without darkness... my apprentice."

The thoughts of the terrible acts he committed many years ago flooding back.

"Bring me the filly. I need her blood to complete your transformation."

A single tear falling from his eye.

"From the darkness, comes a new light. I am now reborn. I shall no longer serve you. I go back to my family now, King of Darkness. I Rubeus Clarus, banish you to the deepest depths of the abyss. I. AM. REDEEMED.

Memories of an age long past, but each sad story inevitably ends with a new light.

- In Ponyville -

It was a few hours after the cart incident, and Red had gotten over his depressing flashbacks. He was wearing a full white tuxedo and was donning his white satin fez on his head. He was smiling the biggest grin that he ever had in the past few years. He was going to see a magic show with Twilight and her friends.

"All my friends are going to go watch, why don't you come?"

"Wait... magic show?" Red asked very excitedly. "I FECKING LOVE MAGIC SHOWS! Let me change into something more dapper!"

It was after this that Red and Twilight went to the magic show in question.

So this comes to the current part in our story. Red was at the front row with Twilight and her friends. Two of her friends he hadn't met yet, an orange earth-pony and a white unicorn. He would introduce himself properly after the show. In the meantime, the show was starting.

The first thing that Red noticed, was that the magician, Trixie, was the unicorn mare that he had helped earlier. He just now noticed why the cart seemed so similar.

"Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!

Everypony in  the audience was wooed by Trixie... Well not the Main 6 or Red, who was looking rather bored.

"Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!"

"My, my, my! What boasting!" The white unicorn said.

"I know, what a wanker. I just want to see the god-damned magic show already!" Red said in an annoyed tone.

The rest of Twilight's friends agreed with what was said... why by Rarity mostly. But it seemed as if Trixie heard the comments coming from the front row of the audience.

"Well, well, well, it seems we have some neigh-sayers in the audience. Who is so ignorant as to challenge the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie? Do they not know that they're in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?" Trixie said, in a rather cavalier tone.

What happened next was some of the best illusion work that Red had seen in a long time. Trixie had managed to shock Rainbow Dash with her own cloud, lasso the orange earth-pony in her own rope, and turn Rarity's hair into a green, garbage-ridden mess. To say the least Red was impressed. But Twilight's friends didn't think as much. They went off looking for Twilight, who had ran off somewhere, so he stayed back until the crowd departed and walked up to Trixie's wagon.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"I am not signing autographs for you two! For the last time, leave or be useful!" Trixie said in a rather annoyed tone.

"Actually, I'm somepony completely different! But I'll leave if you want me to." Red said in a joking tone.

"Oh no no, sorry," Trixie said as she opened up the door. "I've just been annoyed by a few little school-ponies, so I sent them off to get me something that should keep them occupied for a while."

"Well, since you're free at the moment, I would like to talk about the magic show."

Trixie's showed a wide grin. "Did my magical prowess amaze you?"

"Oh yes, some of the best illusion work that I've seen from an average unicorn in a long time."

Trixie's eyes got wide. "Illusions? Why those where some of the best acts of magic in Equestia."

"I have to call bullshit, because your spells faded away after a while. The rain cloud was a very nice effect. The sound and light produced by your horn where very realistic, and the amount of practice and talent needed to make Rainbow Dash feel like she was struck by lightening is amazing. The one ting that gave you away was that after Dash got struck, the cloud dissipated. An actual rain cloud, magically summoned or not, would take longer to dissipate. You also kinda did the same thing with the lasso. The rope was suspended with telekinesis, while you used the event of the apple being pluck as a base for a mind based illusion. The ensuing image you just altered to make do with what you wanted. You then just hogtied the mare. A pretty dicky move by the way. The last Illusion was very well done though! The color and shape of the seaweed you projected onto the white mare's head was very realistic. I thought that it was actual magic, until I saw the illusion fade away after she ran away. All in all, a very show I must say!"

Red saw that Trixie was Flabbergasted at how fast he had uncovered her illusions.

"Well... you got me." Trixie said with a genuinely happy smile.  "I just can't believe how fast you uncovered me!"

"Meh. I've got a knack for that I guess."

"Please, come inside Mr...?"

"Red. Just call me Red." He said with a smile.

When they got inside the wagon, Red was amazed.

"It's bigger on the inside! Just like a friend of mine's... well, house!"

"It's a MagikCaster 3000 A Series Wagon. I was able to get a custom enchantment on the size."

"I mean it's nice and all, but you have have enough room in here for a covered bed? That's the amazing part!"

"I see that you really like size enchantments."

"Why yes I do! I spend a lot of my time in pocket-dimensions honestly. I love how you can fit such a large space in a wagon of small volume!"

Red and Trixie began talking more and more about magic and enchantments. Particularly size enchantments. But Red had gained Trixie's trust rather quickly. He noticed this, and asked a burning question.

"You know, on stage you were kinda acting like a... wanker." Red said bluntly. "I think that you should apologize to the girls."

"What if they're too mad to talk to me?"

"Don't worry, I'll come with you so you don't have to be alone."

"Thanks Red. I was never really good at talking to anypony anyways!"

"Sure, that's what friends are for."

"That's what friends are for." Trixie thought. "Friends."

- At The Town Center -

"Ok, so there's that orange mare. Looks like she's packing up the stall for the night. Let's go talk to her."

"I don't think this is a good idea Red. I mean you haven't even met her yet!"

"I won't take no for an answer Trixie. Allons-y!"

Applejack was just finishing up packing up the market stall for McIntosh when she saw a dull-yellow colored unicorn-stallion and he was forcefully pulling the Great and Powerful Trixie to her.

"'Ello!" Red said to the orange mare. "My name is Red, and this little wanker is Trixie!"

"Hey!" Trixie said.

"I wanted to kill two stones with one bird, so I am meeting you, AND making her apologize for being a big wanker!"

"HEY!!" She said again.

"Nice to meet yah too Red. Mah name is Applejack. Now, what's this about her apologizing about being a... 'big wanker' was it?" Applejack said.

"Oh yes. Well, I convinced her that even though her illusions were magnificent, she should apologize for causing any damage."

"Illusions?" Applejack asked in a surprised tone.

"Oh yes. I only do illusions! I can't really do a lot of advanced magic." Trixie said. "Also sorry about what I did to you Applejack."

"Well illusions are kinda advanced Trixie." Red said.

"But they were only illusions?" Applejack asked. Red nodded to her and she just laughed a little bit. "Well, if they're just illusions, then there's no harm done!"

"See, that wasn't so bad." Red said to Trixie.

"I... I guess it wasn't was it?"

"I don't think so." Red said to Trixie. "So how does some milkshakes sound before we head out to the other gals? You want to tag along Apples?"

"Sure, ah don't see why not."

- A Tad Bit Later at Sugar Cube Corner -

"...And so I became the milk and sugar king!" Red said to the two mares in front of him. Trixie and Applejack where both laughing hysterically at his story. The story involved Red going to a baker in the Griffon Kingdom, asking for a milk and sugar ice cream parfait. When the baker was walking out with it, he tripped and the parfait landed perfectly on his head... upside down.

"Or king of the bogeys." Red added as an afterthought.

After he had said this, a loud roar and the sound of crashing was heard.

"What the bloody hell?"

Another roar was heard, but this time MUCH closer. The trio look at one another,and ran out the door.

But Red ran back to the counter, to a cowering Mr. Cake, and threw a large sack of bits on the counter.

"SORRYBUTIHAVETOGOTHANKSFORTHEMILKSHAKES,BYE!!!!" Red yelled as he ran out of Sugar Cube Corner once more.

He ran out to where the two mares where and looked to where they where staring. A very large celestial bear was terrorizing the town, and Red knew just what to do.

"Applejack, Trixie, stay here and look for the other girls."

"Where are you going to Red?" Trixie asked.

"I'm going to see an old friend to see if she can fix this."

- By The Edge to The Everfree -

Red was in a comical looking hunting outfit. He had a red hunting hat, an orange vest, and camo cargo pants. Other than this, he was singing while walking.

"We're going on a bear hunt

gonna catch a big one!

What a beautiful day!

We're not scared.

Uh-oh, a cave!

A narrow, gloomy cave!

Can't go over it!

Can't go under it!

Oh no!

We've gotta go through it!"

With that Red tiptoed into the cave before coming upon a HUGE celestial bear.

"Hey old Bess!"

*GRUNT*

"Did ya miss me?"

*PURR*

"Ah!! Thought so!" Red said while petting  the Ursa Major.

"So, um, did you notice that little Bobby was, oh I don't know, TERRORIZING PONYVILLE?" Red asked, adding a shrill voice at the end.

The Ursa Major did a brief "I don't know!" gesture towards Red before 'talking' to him.

"Oh, so you say that two little colts came in here and woke up little Bobby?"

*GRUNT grunt* Bess said said happily.

"Well, don't go eating 'em! Just let me have a talk with 'em first." Red said to the bear. "Keep hanging on old girl! Tell Bobby I said hi!"

As Red walked back to Ponyville, he saw Bobby being floated back to his home by a purple magical aura. He was suckling on a water tower tank, filled with what he could only assume was milk, and he looked pretty damn happy too. Right as he enter the town square he heard sobbing.

"See, that's what you get!" Rainbow Dash said to a crying Trixie.

"OI! WANKA'!" Red yelled to Rainbow Dash.

"What do you want Red?" Dash asked to Red.

"Don't you know that her whole life was in that wagon? It was magically enchanted to be bigger on the inside. Not only that, but it was anchored to a pocket dimension!"

"What does that mean?" Twilight asked Red.

"It means that all of her earthly possessions are now destroyed, forever lost in time-space!"

"WHY!!! WHY ME!?!" Trixie cried.

Rainbow Dash looked surprised. She hadn't known that everything that Trixie owned was now gone. She had a feeling of guilt now.

"Sorry that I yelled at you Trixie."

"It's *sniff* OK. I just don't know where I can go now."

"Well, you could always come and work for me."

"You have a job?" Everypony asked Red.

"Of course I have a job!"

"What do you do?" Trixie asked the question in everypony's mind.

"I study advanced magics and teach said magics to unicorns."

"Why would you do a job like that? I thought the School for Gifted Unicorns taught all kinds of advanced magic." Twilight asked

"I got fired from the school because some of the magic that I was teaching was too powerful, and not to mention mind boggling difficult, for young Unicorns. I also teach ancient, long forgotten magic!"

Everypony was looking at Red I disbelief

"But you don't even have a cutie mark!" The white Unicorn mare said to him.

"What's you name?"

"Rarity."

"Well, you see Rarity, I don't have a cutie mark because I DON'T FECKING NEED ONE!"

"WHAT!?!" They all asked.

"Well, you see, I realized from a young age that my special talent is... well... anything really! My father said that this only happens very rarely in pony-kind, so I am a 'blank flank' because I can generate one for any occasion!"

Everypony stared at Red in disbelief.

"No way! Prove it!" Rainbow Dash said to Red.

"Gladly!" He said before a bright flash of light surrounded his flanks. When the light subsided, the group was in disbelief of seeing Red's 'new' cutie mark.

It was a rusty sword.

Nothing really special, so with another flash of light, it was gone.

"Now Trixie, how about my offer?"

"I'll take it!"

"Great!" Red said to the Unicorn before throwing her a fairly large bag of bits. "That's the first month's pay. You'll also be living me, but don't worry! My house has a lot of room in it. It will have to do until you can get your own place."

"Th-thanks Red." Trixie said as tears started to form on the sides of her eyes. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Red smiled as he turned around. "Don't mention it! Now come along! We must make hast to my house!"