A Simple Stallion

by Jubilant Catarina

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Romance
Length: 6675

It has only been two weeks since Twilight Sparkle has moved into Ponyville and already somepony has come to her library. Who is this secretive stallion?

It has only been two weeks since Twilight Sparkle has moved to Ponyville. A strange unicorn stallion who always wears a trench coat and a fez has come to her home, the library. Who is this strange stallion? Why has he suddenly come to Ponyville? Why does he speak in a British accent? And why does he wear a fez? Credit for the awesome cover art goes to GummyTheMLPAlligator!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-16 02:21:06 UTC

In The Beginning...

Twilight Sparkle was sitting at her desk, fervently studying her magic. It had only been two weeks since she had moved into the small town of Ponyville. All was well, until she heard a knock at the door.

“Spike, can you go and see who that is?” She asked.

“Sure thing, Twilight.” Spike, a dragon baby, who is a long-time friend and assistant of Twilight said.

As Spike opened the door, humming to himself, he saw a unicorn stallion with a medium lengthened, light sepia coat, piercing blood-red eyes, and a long straight mane that was black, ending in white tips. The stallion was wearing a black trench coat and was sporting a very clean shaven muzzle.

He was also wearing a black satin fez.

The stallion spoke in a thick (and British) accent,

“I heard that this is the library of this town, is it not?”

“It is the library!” Spike gleamed, “One second though.”

Spike paced to Twilight’s desk and had a look of confusion.

“What’s bothering you Spike?” She asked.

“There’s a strange stallion standing by the-” Spike said as he was cut off by the sound of the door swinging open.

“Excuse me! But is it a custom here to leave your guests waiting outside for a few seconds on end?” the stallion said in a loud, but moderately calm voice as he went to examining some of the book spines facing him.

“Excuse me sir, but what are you doing?” Twilight asked in a slightly annoyed tone.

“I am here to read and learn, not to stand and wither away outside like some cold mongrel!” He stated matter-of-factly as he grabbed a few books off of the shelves. “I heard that this is a public library, but if I am mistaken, then can you please point me in the correct direction?”

“Oh!” Twilight let out in a surprised tone, “I've lived in here for so long now, and no one has shown up, that I guess, I forgot about the whole public part!”

“Oh, there’s no need to apologize my friend! Would you mind making me a library card so that I may come back and, um… well you know… get more books?” He asked in a polite tone.

Twilight went up to her desk, but then realized that she did not know how to make a library card. But then an idea struck her! She took one of her blank note cards and used an image copying spell to put his face on the card. She briefly thought back to the memory she had of Celestia teaching her the spell. Of course Twilight never thought that the spell would be of any use.

“Whenever you want to check out any books, I can ring you up right over here!” Twilight said in a happy tone, whilst gesturing towards here small desk.

“Amazing, simply wondrous! Thank you, Ms…?”

“Twilight, Twilight Sparkle.”

“What a nice name. Here are my books Twinkles.” He stated in a playfully mocking tone.

“Okay, so you are checking out The Ranger’s Apprentice, The Workings of The Spectral World, The Lord of The Rings (all of them!?!), and the… Communist Manifesto?” Twilight asked with a confused tone at the end.

“Yes I… Well you see… Okay, yes I’m a Socialist. Big whoop.” The stallion said in a tone that made it seem like he had to explain his governmental views one too many times.

“Okay then…” Twilight said as she began ringing up the books. She tried to break the awkward silence between them. “I’m going to need a name for this card of yours.”

“Oh, my name is Red.” He said in a mostly polite tone, “By the way, do you know any good places to eat? I only had crumpets and green tea for breakfast.”

“Sure! Just follow me.”

“Okay, good. Like I said, starving away here!” Red said in a fast and slightly annoyed tone as he pulled Twilight from the library.

-Outside the library-

As the two walked down the street, they met a familiar face.

“Look out!” a cyan Pegasus pony with a rainbow mane and tail cried out.

“Bloody hell! You damn near nicked me!” Red stated in a surprised tone.

“Sorry about that Twilight, I was practicing some of my wing work.” Rainbow Dash said in an apologetic tone.

“Yes yes, of course, forget the stallion that you almost killed. That’s a very nice friend making strategy!” He said in an angered tone.

“Who’s this Twilight, your coltfriend?” Rainbow asked.

“What! No! He’s… I just met him in the library, ok!” Little Miss Sparkle said, flustered.

“And yet you are still fucking forget about me?” Red yelled.

“Oh, I’m sorry! Did you need a bandage to cover up your nonexistent bruises?” Rainbow asked in a sarcastic tone.

“You know what!” Red said in a flirtatious, but ever so slightly cynical, tone, “I really like you. You have the right amount of spunk for a mare. Call me sometime.”

“Oh, thanks?” Rainbow said, obviously blushing through here coat.

“Now, I was looking for some place to eat with my new friend Sparkly over there.”

Red said in a generous voice, “Would you know of such an establishment?”

“Sure, there’s this place down the block called Sugar Cube Corner, you can’t miss it.” The Pegasus said, “In fact, I think I’ll meet you there. I’m starving from all this exercise!”

“Fine by me Rainbow.” The purple coated mare said.

“Yes, yes, but I do believe that I am quite famished and this has been a quaint little meeting,” Our favorite cynical stallion chirped, “But it has come to say our goodbyes for now. See you around Dashy!”

“Good bye Rainbo-!” Twilight said as she was pulled away by Red.

-In Town, At Sugar Cube Corner-

“Oi! I am just practically withered away! I really need to stop eating just crumpets, but the damn rascals are so convenient and are simply adoring when given a coat of butter to them!” Red stated exuberantly.

“Sounds… hearty?” A particular purple unicorn said, uncertainly.

Twilight and Red had just gotten to Sugar Cube Corner, and where sitting down at a table, conversing about their day.

Red was looking over the menu, noting how there was only two pages of food, while there was at least five pages worth of desserts. He was just about to order his beans on rye toast, with a side of Elma Çay (Apple Tisane. It’s Turkish. Get over It.), when a familiar pink earth-pony came bouncing towards the duo.

“ICAN’TBELIEVETHATIMISSEDYOUEARLIERTODAYWEWOULDHAVEHADSOMUCHFUNIFYOULETMETHROWTHATPARTYFORYOUBYTHEWAYHOWHAVEYOUBEENIHAVEBEEN-”

“OI! CAN’T A STALLION GET SOME FUCKING PEACE AROUND HERE?” Red screamed, “ALL I ASK FOR IS SOME FUCKING QUITE TIME, NOT A GOD DAMNED PARADE IN MY MOTHERFUCKING HONOR, YOU CLUNGE!”

Pinkie Pie stood for a second before slowly crying and walking away. As she got to the stairs that led the top floor, she began balling and running to her room. Everybody looked at Pinkie before staring at Red. He simply shot them all a glare with his blood “red” (heh) eyes, and they all immediately looked down to their own food. Twilight stared at Red with a mix between fear and surprise. She had never heard anyone swear that badly before, let alone at Pinkie Pie.

“Why… Why did you have to yell all of those offensive words at her?” She asked, about to cry.

“Well you see-” He said as his and Twilight’s food came, “Thank you kindly! You see, I tried to get her off my tail all day! As soon as I walked into town, she started stalking me, shooting a canon at me, and trying kidnapping me!”

“Well, that’s Pinkie for you.”

“Well nothing!” He took a bite out of his beans on toast, “She should have been civilized and said ‘oh hello there kind sir, would you mind if I threw a party for you?’”

They finished up their meal, and Red pulled out a coin pouch.

“Let me pay, it’s the least I can do for you after what I did to her. I’m going to have to have a talk with her the next time I come through here.”

“Thanks Red, just please don’t forget to apologize!” Twilight said with a look of concern on her face.

“I won’t, now I must be off! See you in a little while Sparkly!” Red said while sprinting out of Sugar Cube Corner.

Just as he was leaving, Rainbow Dash walked in and sat next to Twilight.

“What happened here?”

“It’s gonna be a long story Rainbow.”

Red Doesn't Like Galas

"Shit." was all that Red said before he got out of bed. "I'm gonna have to talk to that Pinkie Pie mare aren't I? No matter, better just grab my coat and fez."

Red went to his walk in closet and looked at a wall filled with fezzes. The opposite wall had coats, shirts, and ties on it.

"Better wear my red felt fez and my business attire." He told himself as he put on a white dress shirt, a red bow-tie, and a brown tweed coat with sewed on elbow patches. "Bow-ties are cool. And tweed never goes out of style."

He walked down a set of spiral stairs to his house's main level, one large room with an open kitchen. Red walked up to a fuzzy little pony with a dandelion yellow coat.

"Hello there little Gemstone!" Red said to the Fluffy Pony

Gemstone simply let out a yawn and made raspberry noises at Red.

"Really now?" Red asked, understanding the strange language. "That's a very vivid dream."

"Pft pfft pffft... pft!" She said as she snuggled back into a ball to go back to sleep.

"Well, I have to head out to town, your on your own for breakfast today."

"Pfffft pft pfft pfffffffft pfffft"

"No! No god damned tacos! We both know how that ended last time!" He said as he walked out the front door.

- In Town -

Red was walking down the center road of Ponyville. It had nearly been an hour since he had left his house, but that was ,in part, due to the fact that his house was about a two mile walk from the town. He had stopped at a little cafe to get a small plate of hay fries as he prepared for the talk ahead of him. He was drinking a flask of whiskey that he had made a few months ago to try to get rid of the stress of everyday life. The sweet embrace of the alcohol and the rough flavor of the fermented and compressed corn made for a very bittersweet experience. Just the thought of talking to somepony he had wronged made him nervous.

He took a swig.

The feeling of being "that guy" made him feel sorrowful.

He took another swig.

His nerves were now calming, but just for safe measure, he took a long swig and finished his flask.

Red was now drunk as a skunk, and was twice as smelly.

"Better go down to Sugar Cube Corner and talk to Pinkie" Red thought to himself.

Red had mustered up all of the drunken courage  that he could find and walked down to the confectionery. He quickly used his magic to block the smell of the whiskey on his self and his breath. Red took a deep breath as he prepared to enter.

- In Sugar Cube Corner -

"He-hello there kind sir. *hiccup* Would you be willing to allow me to talk to Pinkie Pie?" Red asked in a very, very drunken tone. "I feel terrible for yelling at her yesterday, and I couldn't just walk off for a few days without apologizing."

"Oh boy, you better be sorry mister!" Mr. Cake said. "Pinkie has been in her room crying for the past day. She hasn't even left her room at all!"

"Well that's no good. I'll feel terrible if I just let this happen. Can you show me to her room?"

"Sure, I just hope that you apologizing will help her go back to normal. Her room is upstairs and to the right."

"Thank you mister Cake." Red said in a serious, and surprisingly sober, tone.

"How did you know my name?"

"What kind of stallion would I be if I didn't know the names of the people that I wronged?" Red said in a sad tone as he walked upstairs with small tears in his eyes. Mr. Cake could only wonder what could make a cold pony like Red tear up like that.

Red walked to the door and said "Knock knock."

"Who is it? If it's you Mrs. Cake, could you please take the tray you left me?"

"It's me." Red said in a sad, yet compassionate tone.

"Why are you here?" Pinkie asked in a frightened tone. The look on her face was equal to the tone, but when she saw the tears, her face changed to that of concern and she knew whatever Red was there for, it was serious.

"I wanted to come and apologize for my behavior yesterday. It's just that I have been so out of touch with the ponies of Equestria lately, that I just flipped on you. Again I'm sorry and it wasn't acceptable behavior."

Pinkie Pie gave a smile "It's OK Red, I can see that you didn't mean it.

"Yes," Red said in a saddening tone. "Well, when you see as much of the world as I have, you remember all of the ponies you have wronged in one way or another. When you live life to it's fullest like me, you see the suffering that you can cause in your wake. I remember the names of all of the ponies I have wronged. I'm not afraid to say that I have grown cold from it. I tel you all of this because I want to change. I'm a different stallion now, and I'm asking for your forgiveness of my wrongdoings.

Pinkie Pie was taken aback by the revelation that has been laid upon her. She more than accepted Red's apology and told him that she accepted the apology. Red lightened up from this.

"Oi then! That's some good news! I'll be seeing myself off then Ms. Pie, have a nice morning!"

Red exited the confectionery and walked over to Twilight's Library.

- At The Library -

"'Ello Twilight! How is everything this fine morning?" Red said in a happy tone, a complete one-eighty from his previous conversation.

Twilight looked at Red with a look of concern on her face. "Red! I'm so glad you're here! Princess Celestia sent me two tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala and all of my friends have started to bribe me into giving them the ticket!"

"Ugh." Red said with a look of disgust on his face. "A gala you say? I hate galas! They're too formal and not at the slightest fun to be at. I prefer going to galas to purposely destroy them. Especially after that particularly bad one my sister threw for me..."

"RED!!! This is serious! If I don't get advice on this situation soon; I might have to leave Ponyville!"

"OK Twinkly, here is what you have to do. Write back to Celestia saying how you can't have just two tickets, you need one for each of your friends because if they all can't go with you, then you won't go at all."

"That's... actually good advice! Do you want a ticket Red?"

"I most certainly do! That would be a good time for me to meet up with my sister and show her one-four about throwing me that terrible party!"

"Great, I'll send the letter immediately! Thanks Red!"

"No problem Twinkles!" Red said as he was walking towards his house.

Red thought to himself: "Today was a good day comrade. I can't wait to see my sisters again!"

Red Gets Angry

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Dammit, this early in the morning?" Red asked to no one in particular. Well maybe Gemstone, but he got out of bed nonetheless.

"Ten-Thirty... Too god-damned early for this."

Red went to his closet, picked out a black ornament fez and a black trench coat, and walked downstairs to the door.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"I'm coming! Jeez, just calm the hell down."

Red opened the door to see a very sad and crying Pinkie Pie. To say the least, he was surprised.

"By Celestia and the Olden Gods, what happened to you? Come inside!" Red said to a still crying Pinkie.

When they got inside,  Pinkie was the first to speak.

"Red, I'm not feeling good right now, I need some advice."

"Sure, kinda obvious, well not the advice part... still come inside. What happened?"

"Well, Rainbow Dash has a friend who came back to see her today, and I tried talking to her, and she's a really, REALLY big meanie."

"Ok, so you're having problems with a bully then?"

"Y-yes, I think so at least. Why?"

"Well... I don't like bullies at all. I had to deal with them for my whole life, so I'm not going to let some asshole make fun of you and harass you like this. Who is this pony?"

"Gilda. And she's not a pony, but a griffon. I didn't know that somepony could be that mean."

"A griffon! Well, this just makes my job all the more fun! I'm going to go to town and see if I can talk some sense into her."

"And what if that doesn't work on her Red? I mean, she's a REALLY big meanie pants!"

"Don't worry about me Pinkie, I have ways." Red said in a VERY sinister tone. "Let me change into my problem solving outfit!"

Red ran upstairs to his closet, and pulled out a black hooded robe with a long red tassel for a belt. He took off his coat and fez and put on the robe. He walked back downstairs and went to his cabinet. He pulled out a small, but wicked looking black crystal dagger, and concealed it under his robe's belt. He walked up to Pinkie, with his glowing red eyes showing underneath, and said in a dark but still strangely lighthearted tone,

"I'm ready. Go back to Sugar Cube Corner and I'll talk to you when I'm done. Tootaloo!"

Red started out the door with Pinkie. He turned to her quickly and said,

"By the way Pinkie, don't let anypony push you down."

- Noonish In Ponyvile -

Red sat at a cafe table reading a book in the shade. He was drinking a hot cup of Earl Grey tea, and had a side of crumpets. He lifted the tea with a magical aura of a dark crimson color. He was still in his whole getup, and he was silently watching the market square. Stakeouts were fun when he got to drink his tea. He also loved all of the cloak and dagger of it. He saw a rather mean-spirited griffon walk around the market place. Red made a glance of direct eye contact with the aggressor of his friend.

"Bingo." He said to himself.

"Hey, what are you staring at me for?" Gilda said as she slapped the book Red was reading to the ground.

"You shouldn't have done that laddie."

"Why not?"

"Because it's rude to treat your host like that" Red said with a sinister smile.

"Host? What do you-" Gilda stopped in mid-sentence when she realized that she and Red had been teleported to a very dimly lit house.

"It's been so long since I've had a house guest here Gilda"

"How do you know my name?"

"I know many things. Mind for a spot of tea? No? Well, anyways, do you know why I brought you here?"

"N-no." Gilda said obviously getting frightened.

"Well, you see, my lord, he demands a... blood sacrifice in his name."

"Blood sacrifice? What kind of lord do you serve?"

"Oh, no pony particular. Only the king of darkness, Sombra.

"S-s-sombra! But he's dead!"

"Not dead, my dear Gilda, only sleeping. Waiting for the right time to strike. He needs the essence of life to awaken. And he can't just use any blood, no no. He demands the blood of a griffon." Red said all this as he pulled out the dagger.

"No, you can't do this!"

"LONG LIVE THE KING!" Red yelled as he thrust the dagger to Gilda's throat.

Gilda waited for the sting of the blade, but felt none. She looked and saw Red standing over her with the knife. He looked her straight in the eyes and told her the one thing that will stick in her mind for the rest of her life.

"Don't you ever fuck with Pinkie Pie ever again, or else I'll do something far worse than a blood sacrifice." Red said this to Gilda as he teleported her to the outskirts of Ponyvile. Red simply teleported back home, changed into his normal clothes and calmly walked to Sugar Cube Corner to tell Pinkie that Gilda would no longer be bothering her.

- At Sugar Cube Corner -

Red walked into Sugar Cube Corner, and he had learned that Rainbow Dash had Pinkie throw a party for Gilda. He was, to say the least, excited to see his house-guest once more.

Red had walked up to a yellow pegasus pony, with pink hair. When he talked to her, she make a squeak.

"'Ello there! My name is Red! What's your name miss?"

"Fluttershy" she said in a very quiet tone.

"That's a beautiful name miss. I hope I didn't startle you when I walked up." Red said in a quieter tone.

Fluttershy blushed slightly at being complimented and responded slightly louder.

"Thank you sir, you said your name was Red?"

"Yes miss! Well my actual full name is Rubeus Sol Clarus , but everypony just calls me Red."

"That's a very pretty name Red."

"Thanks Flutters. Now you've done flattered me!"

Fluttershy and Red shared a laugh and a  few more minutes of talking until Red popped an important question.

"So do you know this Gilda figure?"

She bowed her head down in fear, "Yes I do, why?"

"Well, I had a talk with her earlier today. I don't think that she will be harassing anypony anytime soon."

She gave a look of relief, "That's good, I don't want anypony else getting hurt by her."

Just as Fluttershy finished Gilda entered to confectionery.

"SURPRISE" Everypony yelled.

Gilda had a look of shock on her face and then went back to her usual self... until she saw a particular stallion with bright, blood-red eyes. She walked up to Red.

"Hey, do I know you?"

"You might. It's a small town. Many ponies live here. Ahh, but I live in a house halfway between here and Canterlot. I was just stopping through to see an old friend."

"I don't care about why you're here, I-"

"How rude! My dear Gilda."

"W-wait. How do you know my name."

"I know many things Gilda." Red said in a sinister tone.

Gilda sat there with a look of pure horror on her face. Red faced the door and as he walked out he said to her.

"Long live the king."

Do You Believe In Magic?

"Tis a good day to be alive! Praise the sun!" Red paused for a second. He was wearing a half-plate half-chainmail armor set with a bucket helmet that had a long red feather stuck to the right side of it. He was also wearing a long, white tunic with a sun on it, that covered his armored torso. He also had a longsword strapped to his left side. He looked down at his Solaire of Astora armor and said to himself,  "Maybe I should stop playing Dark Souls... nah! I'll be fine! I always have been. Well, except for that one time in the Chry- hey what's that?"

Red was looking at a broken down cart on the side of the road. He saw a light-blue colored unicorn mare in a comical wizard's outfit.

"Hello there mister, would you be so kind as to help me fix up my cart?" The mare asked him.

"Why sure thing Miss, tis my chivalrous duty!"

"Oh, thank Celestia! I wouldn't know what to do if... What are you wearing?" She said as she noticed the armor that Red was wearing.

"Oh, this?" Red said as he motioned to his armor. "This is just some armor that I made to commemorate my favorite person of all time. Solaire of Astora!"

"Who's that?"

"Oh, umm." Red said as he tried to explain, "Well, umm, he's from a video game, and I just kind of got inspired! He is pretty badass though! I do wish that I could be so grossly incandescent!"

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. Sorry if I'm scaring you." Red said as he took off his helmet. This revealed that he was, in fact, wearing a white fez under the helmet. He began his work on the cart, successfully using his magic to fix the busted wheel. But his magical aura was looking sinister.

"Say, how did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Totally fix the wheel when it was smashed into several pieces?"

"Well magic of course!"

Trixie gave a sigh. "I know that, but what kind of magic?"

"Ancient magic." Red said in a slightly saddened tone. "Very ancient magic that I once used for other means. I'm sorry miss, but I have to get going."

Red put his helmet back on as he walked away. Old memories filling his head.

"There is no light without darkness... my apprentice."

The thoughts of the terrible acts he committed many years ago flooding back.

"Bring me the filly. I need her blood to complete your transformation."

A single tear falling from his eye.

"From the darkness, comes a new light. I am now reborn. I shall no longer serve you. I go back to my family now, King of Darkness. I Rubeus Clarus, banish you to the deepest depths of the abyss. I. AM. REDEEMED.

Memories of an age long past, but each sad story inevitably ends with a new light.

- In Ponyville -

It was a few hours after the cart incident, and Red had gotten over his depressing flashbacks. He was wearing a full white tuxedo and was donning his white satin fez on his head. He was smiling the biggest grin that he ever had in the past few years. He was going to see a magic show with Twilight and her friends.

"All my friends are going to go watch, why don't you come?"

"Wait... magic show?" Red asked very excitedly. "I FECKING LOVE MAGIC SHOWS! Let me change into something more dapper!"

It was after this that Red and Twilight went to the magic show in question.

So this comes to the current part in our story. Red was at the front row with Twilight and her friends. Two of her friends he hadn't met yet, an orange earth-pony and a white unicorn. He would introduce himself properly after the show. In the meantime, the show was starting.

The first thing that Red noticed, was that the magician, Trixie, was the unicorn mare that he had helped earlier. He just now noticed why the cart seemed so similar.

"Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!

Everypony in  the audience was wooed by Trixie... Well not the Main 6 or Red, who was looking rather bored.

"Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!"

"My, my, my! What boasting!" The white unicorn said.

"I know, what a wanker. I just want to see the god-damned magic show already!" Red said in an annoyed tone.

The rest of Twilight's friends agreed with what was said... why by Rarity mostly. But it seemed as if Trixie heard the comments coming from the front row of the audience.

"Well, well, well, it seems we have some neigh-sayers in the audience. Who is so ignorant as to challenge the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie? Do they not know that they're in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?" Trixie said, in a rather cavalier tone.

What happened next was some of the best illusion work that Red had seen in a long time. Trixie had managed to shock Rainbow Dash with her own cloud, lasso the orange earth-pony in her own rope, and turn Rarity's hair into a green, garbage-ridden mess. To say the least Red was impressed. But Twilight's friends didn't think as much. They went off looking for Twilight, who had ran off somewhere, so he stayed back until the crowd departed and walked up to Trixie's wagon.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"I am not signing autographs for you two! For the last time, leave or be useful!" Trixie said in a rather annoyed tone.

"Actually, I'm somepony completely different! But I'll leave if you want me to." Red said in a joking tone.

"Oh no no, sorry," Trixie said as she opened up the door. "I've just been annoyed by a few little school-ponies, so I sent them off to get me something that should keep them occupied for a while."

"Well, since you're free at the moment, I would like to talk about the magic show."

Trixie's showed a wide grin. "Did my magical prowess amaze you?"

"Oh yes, some of the best illusion work that I've seen from an average unicorn in a long time."

Trixie's eyes got wide. "Illusions? Why those where some of the best acts of magic in Equestia."

"I have to call bullshit, because your spells faded away after a while. The rain cloud was a very nice effect. The sound and light produced by your horn where very realistic, and the amount of practice and talent needed to make Rainbow Dash feel like she was struck by lightening is amazing. The one ting that gave you away was that after Dash got struck, the cloud dissipated. An actual rain cloud, magically summoned or not, would take longer to dissipate. You also kinda did the same thing with the lasso. The rope was suspended with telekinesis, while you used the event of the apple being pluck as a base for a mind based illusion. The ensuing image you just altered to make do with what you wanted. You then just hogtied the mare. A pretty dicky move by the way. The last Illusion was very well done though! The color and shape of the seaweed you projected onto the white mare's head was very realistic. I thought that it was actual magic, until I saw the illusion fade away after she ran away. All in all, a very show I must say!"

Red saw that Trixie was Flabbergasted at how fast he had uncovered her illusions.

"Well... you got me." Trixie said with a genuinely happy smile.  "I just can't believe how fast you uncovered me!"

"Meh. I've got a knack for that I guess."

"Please, come inside Mr...?"

"Red. Just call me Red." He said with a smile.

When they got inside the wagon, Red was amazed.

"It's bigger on the inside! Just like a friend of mine's... well, house!"

"It's a MagikCaster 3000 A Series Wagon. I was able to get a custom enchantment on the size."

"I mean it's nice and all, but you have have enough room in here for a covered bed? That's the amazing part!"

"I see that you really like size enchantments."

"Why yes I do! I spend a lot of my time in pocket-dimensions honestly. I love how you can fit such a large space in a wagon of small volume!"

Red and Trixie began talking more and more about magic and enchantments. Particularly size enchantments. But Red had gained Trixie's trust rather quickly. He noticed this, and asked a burning question.

"You know, on stage you were kinda acting like a... wanker." Red said bluntly. "I think that you should apologize to the girls."

"What if they're too mad to talk to me?"

"Don't worry, I'll come with you so you don't have to be alone."

"Thanks Red. I was never really good at talking to anypony anyways!"

"Sure, that's what friends are for."

"That's what friends are for." Trixie thought. "Friends."

- At The Town Center -

"Ok, so there's that orange mare. Looks like she's packing up the stall for the night. Let's go talk to her."

"I don't think this is a good idea Red. I mean you haven't even met her yet!"

"I won't take no for an answer Trixie. Allons-y!"

Applejack was just finishing up packing up the market stall for McIntosh when she saw a dull-yellow colored unicorn-stallion and he was forcefully pulling the Great and Powerful Trixie to her.

"'Ello!" Red said to the orange mare. "My name is Red, and this little wanker is Trixie!"

"Hey!" Trixie said.

"I wanted to kill two stones with one bird, so I am meeting you, AND making her apologize for being a big wanker!"

"HEY!!" She said again.

"Nice to meet yah too Red. Mah name is Applejack. Now, what's this about her apologizing about being a... 'big wanker' was it?" Applejack said.

"Oh yes. Well, I convinced her that even though her illusions were magnificent, she should apologize for causing any damage."

"Illusions?" Applejack asked in a surprised tone.

"Oh yes. I only do illusions! I can't really do a lot of advanced magic." Trixie said. "Also sorry about what I did to you Applejack."

"Well illusions are kinda advanced Trixie." Red said.

"But they were only illusions?" Applejack asked. Red nodded to her and she just laughed a little bit. "Well, if they're just illusions, then there's no harm done!"

"See, that wasn't so bad." Red said to Trixie.

"I... I guess it wasn't was it?"

"I don't think so." Red said to Trixie. "So how does some milkshakes sound before we head out to the other gals? You want to tag along Apples?"

"Sure, ah don't see why not."

- A Tad Bit Later at Sugar Cube Corner -

"...And so I became the milk and sugar king!" Red said to the two mares in front of him. Trixie and Applejack where both laughing hysterically at his story. The story involved Red going to a baker in the Griffon Kingdom, asking for a milk and sugar ice cream parfait. When the baker was walking out with it, he tripped and the parfait landed perfectly on his head... upside down.

"Or king of the bogeys." Red added as an afterthought.

After he had said this, a loud roar and the sound of crashing was heard.

"What the bloody hell?"

Another roar was heard, but this time MUCH closer. The trio look at one another,and ran out the door.

But Red ran back to the counter, to a cowering Mr. Cake, and threw a large sack of bits on the counter.

"SORRYBUTIHAVETOGOTHANKSFORTHEMILKSHAKES,BYE!!!!" Red yelled as he ran out of Sugar Cube Corner once more.

He ran out to where the two mares where and looked to where they where staring. A very large celestial bear was terrorizing the town, and Red knew just what to do.

"Applejack, Trixie, stay here and look for the other girls."

"Where are you going to Red?" Trixie asked.

"I'm going to see an old friend to see if she can fix this."

- By The Edge to The Everfree -

Red was in a comical looking hunting outfit. He had a red hunting hat, an orange vest, and camo cargo pants. Other than this, he was singing while walking.

"We're going on a bear hunt

gonna catch a big one!

What a beautiful day!

We're not scared.

Uh-oh, a cave!

A narrow, gloomy cave!

Can't go over it!

Can't go under it!

Oh no!

We've gotta go through it!"

With that Red tiptoed into the cave before coming upon a HUGE celestial bear.

"Hey old Bess!"

*GRUNT*

"Did ya miss me?"

*PURR*

"Ah!! Thought so!" Red said while petting  the Ursa Major.

"So, um, did you notice that little Bobby was, oh I don't know, TERRORIZING PONYVILLE?" Red asked, adding a shrill voice at the end.

The Ursa Major did a brief "I don't know!" gesture towards Red before 'talking' to him.

"Oh, so you say that two little colts came in here and woke up little Bobby?"

*GRUNT grunt* Bess said said happily.

"Well, don't go eating 'em! Just let me have a talk with 'em first." Red said to the bear. "Keep hanging on old girl! Tell Bobby I said hi!"

As Red walked back to Ponyville, he saw Bobby being floated back to his home by a purple magical aura. He was suckling on a water tower tank, filled with what he could only assume was milk, and he looked pretty damn happy too. Right as he enter the town square he heard sobbing.

"See, that's what you get!" Rainbow Dash said to a crying Trixie.

"OI! WANKA'!" Red yelled to Rainbow Dash.

"What do you want Red?" Dash asked to Red.

"Don't you know that her whole life was in that wagon? It was magically enchanted to be bigger on the inside. Not only that, but it was anchored to a pocket dimension!"

"What does that mean?" Twilight asked Red.

"It means that all of her earthly possessions are now destroyed, forever lost in time-space!"

"WHY!!! WHY ME!?!" Trixie cried.

Rainbow Dash looked surprised. She hadn't known that everything that Trixie owned was now gone. She had a feeling of guilt now.

"Sorry that I yelled at you Trixie."

"It's *sniff* OK. I just don't know where I can go now."

"Well, you could always come and work for me."

"You have a job?" Everypony asked Red.

"Of course I have a job!"

"What do you do?" Trixie asked the question in everypony's mind.

"I study advanced magics and teach said magics to unicorns."

"Why would you do a job like that? I thought the School for Gifted Unicorns taught all kinds of advanced magic." Twilight asked

"I got fired from the school because some of the magic that I was teaching was too powerful, and not to mention mind boggling difficult, for young Unicorns. I also teach ancient, long forgotten magic!"

Everypony was looking at Red I disbelief

"But you don't even have a cutie mark!" The white Unicorn mare said to him.

"What's you name?"

"Rarity."

"Well, you see Rarity, I don't have a cutie mark because I DON'T FECKING NEED ONE!"

"WHAT!?!" They all asked.

"Well, you see, I realized from a young age that my special talent is... well... anything really! My father said that this only happens very rarely in pony-kind, so I am a 'blank flank' because I can generate one for any occasion!"

Everypony stared at Red in disbelief.

"No way! Prove it!" Rainbow Dash said to Red.

"Gladly!" He said before a bright flash of light surrounded his flanks. When the light subsided, the group was in disbelief of seeing Red's 'new' cutie mark.

It was a rusty sword.

Nothing really special, so with another flash of light, it was gone.

"Now Trixie, how about my offer?"

"I'll take it!"

"Great!" Red said to the Unicorn before throwing her a fairly large bag of bits. "That's the first month's pay. You'll also be living me, but don't worry! My house has a lot of room in it. It will have to do until you can get your own place."

"Th-thanks Red." Trixie said as tears started to form on the sides of her eyes. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Red smiled as he turned around. "Don't mention it! Now come along! We must make hast to my house!"