Oh brother, where art we

by bluemoon1996

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Human, Comedy
Length: 1031

Puberty sucked the first time around .

He's a welder. The other, a young father. And the third is a high school graduate with no plans at all. Together, these three are the most unassuming of brothers you'd ever encounter.

Now they are stuck in Equestria with no apparent way home as young colts. Now they must deal with school… again, foster parents ,bullies, and keeping up their ruse as a trio of independent brothers. while trying to figure out a way home… Or at least back to their right ages.

feedback would be awesome since this is my first full-fledge attempt at comedy

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-24 01:35:14 UTC

The start of it all: part one

It was pleasant early fall day in Ponyville. The local weather squad had scheduled perfectly clear skies. There was a gentle breeze blowing through town, and Princess Celestia had yet to bring the full power of the sun to bear. It was a day in which nopony could find a reason to complain about the weather, and as this was a usual day, the inhabitants of Ponyville went about their business without a care in the world.

Outside of town, in the shade of an oak tree were three colts sleeping soundly in somewhat unflattering positions; a brown and green pegasus, a maroon pegasus, and a blue earth pony.

And above the trio, a leaf decided that the time had come for it to complete it's destiny and let go of it's only link to life and floated gently downwards. Despite the breeze, the ambitious leaf didn't cover , and landed right on top of the nostrils of the blue colt, who awoke with a sneeze.

He slowly opened his eyes, blinked a few times, and then rubbed them with the vigor of two hours of sleep. He carefully checked his surroundings and let out a chuckle. “Tim...,” he said, without looking at his friend whom he addressed so casually, ”have you been get some new kind of pot this time?”

The maroon colt groaned, annoyed at the rude awakening. It had been a long night of fun, games and pretty colors, and he just wanted to get some rest and relaxation. “Same stuff from Kevin as always Danny,” he mumbled, as he turned his back on the perpetrator, "let me sleep".

"Well, I'm seeing all kinds of shit," said the blue pony known as Danny. "Like we're in some kind of cartoon or something". After a few minutes, Danny grew tired of his current surroundings and turned his gaze towards Tim, hoping to continue their conversation in a more proper manner. Unsure of what he was seeing, he rubbed his eyes once more. After leaning in to get a closer look, a stupid grin appeared on his face. “Tim, is that you?” he asked.

"No," the maroon pegasus said bluntly, his voice dripping with a remarkable amount of sarcasm for somepony who was sleeping, "I'm Rick Perry".

"Y-you look like a pony," Danny said, stuttering with a laugh in his throat.

"Damn it man," Tim said, annoyed and wide awake. "Did Chris finally get to you with his pony crap?!?" The constant chit-chat of his company was beginning to get on his nerves, He just wanted to get some shut eye but his brother would not shut his trap.

"Seriously, you really do look like a pony," Dan said,"you even got wings man". The unicorn then attempted to stand up and flopped back on the ground. After a few seconds of blissful silence, for Tim at least, "...Standing is hard".

This finally drove Tim over the edge. And he sprung up, ready to give his idiotic brother a piece of his mind. "Dan, you may be family; but I will punch you in the throat if...” The offended party stopped mid-sentence as his brain screeched to a halt as he looked at his foe. He recognised the slightly sleepy grin, and the eyes, though they were somewhat larger than he remembered. What he didn't recognize, however, was the face sporting these features. He saw a big, round face with a dark blue coat and protruding snout. He looked over the rest of the body and, after extensively searching the memory banks in his brain, he finally managed to come to a conclusion and identify the bizarre creature sitting in front of him. “Dan... you're a pony.”

“No, dude, you're wrong. You are a pony.”

“No, I mean, really, you are a pony!”

"No, you're the pony". As Tim didn't think now was the right time for comedy, he grabbed onto the leg of his brother, and held it in front of his face. While this proved adequate for making a point, it had the unfortunate side-effect of holding his own hand in front of his own face. Or rather, the place where there should have been a hand.

The two let go of each other and stared at their two hooves that had replaced the hands they enjoyed having so much. After about a minute, they looked over the rest of their bodies, from their mane to their tails. Despite the confusion, the maroon pegasus looked into the blue earth ponies eyes, and gave the one and only correct answer to their currently most pressing question: “Dan...We're ponies.”

"For The Love Of God" the brown and green pony next to our duo proclaimed as he sat up, "Will the two of you shut up!!!" He had been trying to go back to sleep for the last five minutes after he had been so rudely awoken by his two brother's chit-chat. "I just want to get some sleep but the two of you...", his brain screeched to a halt as he saw his two brothers in all their technicolored glory.

"Tim... Danny... Y'all are ponies," the brown and green pegasus said, his voice a mixture of surprise and confusion. "You should see yourself Chris," Dan stated,"you aren't much different". Curious about what he had said, Chris looked down at himself. Chris's eyes grew as massive as dinner plates as his brain went into system overload. After a minute, he looked backup at his brothers with a look akin to a deer in headlights.

"We're ponies," he simply stated. And complete silence fell over the trio.

It was that special kind of silence that lasts only a few seconds and one may only observe when someone has been faced with the completely unexpected. While not a single sound was heard, their faces yelled the one question that a person typically ponders during such a moment: How would a reasonable person react to this?

Our trio of brothers simultaneously came to the conclusion that a reasonable person, faced with their current predicament, would scream like a little kid and flail their forelegs in blind panic.