The Urge
Bumbleberry woke up suddenly in a cold sweat. The pink stallion didn’t remember the dream he had but he felt different. It must have been one doozy of a dream he thought. He got out of bed, brushed his mane, and looked out the window of his home in Ponyville. It was a beautiful day out there. Celestia’s sun was shining down and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Out in the commons, a teal unicorn and cream colored earth pony were out for a morning stroll around town. Overall, it looked like the start of a magnificent day.
Suddenly he felt hot all over. His muscles seemed to tense and he felt sweaty. A surge of uncontrollable energy came from within his body, filling him with the intense sensation of restlessness. He immediately started shaking from side to side.
This isn’t right! he thought, almost panicked. What’s going on with me? As suddenly as the wave came over him, it stopped. He relaxed his muscles as the feeling passed. What the hay is going on? he thought. Hay… that would be really great right now.
Bumbleberry walked out of his house and across the street to a café. Being early in the morning, there wasn’t a pony in sight. He walked up to a pink and white mushroom table and sat his rump on a tuft of soft dried grass. A cream-colored stallion with a mustache appeared from the kitchen and offered him a menu at his table. The pink pony had been here often enough that he already knew what he'd order. “I’ll have a bowl of hay, please.”
“Of course, sir!” the waiter said and disappeared back into the kitchen.
Even though the heat and shakes had passed, Bumbleberry still felt strange. He gazed at the yellow vase of blue flowers that decorated his table. What was wrong with me? he wondered. His tummy growled. I’ll figure it out after breakfast.
The waiter reappeared and delivered the bowl of hay. “There you go!”
“Thank you!” Bumbleberry smiled back, and then chowed down on his bowl of hay.
“Hello there!” came a beautiful voice from a young mare.
In that instant, Bumbleberry felt the same feeling from before. He became flushed and anxious. He wanted to jump and run around and … he wasn’t quite sure yet, but he really wanted to do it. He did his best to push those urges down and looked up at the mare who had greeted him. It was none other than the white mare of Carousel Boutique, Rarity.
As much as he tried to push his rush of energy away, it got the best of him as he stood up and rushed towards her. “Hello Rarity!” he cried, embracing her. The hug felt amazing, much like he’d imagine it felt in stories when two lovers who had been separated for a long time finally touch each other once more. He reveled in the feeling.
For Rarity, it was the second time they’d ever met, and hugging on a second meeting seemed very strange. Concerned, she asked, “Are you all right?”
Bumbleberry backed away from the embrace. “Yes, I’m fine!” he said instinctively. He felt more in control of himself, but he still felt the need to run around in circles. “Actually, no, I’ve been feeling crazy since I woke up.”
“Crazy? What ever do you mean?” Rarity inquired.
“On and off again all morning I’ve been unable to sit still. I just want to run or jump or do something, but I have no idea what.” Rarity’s purple mane sparkled and Bumbleberry was filled with the urge to stroke it, but fought it off.
Rarity caught his gaze on her mane. “Oh, do you like my coiffure? I just curled it this morning.” She bobbed her head to make her hair bounce happily. It was all the stallion could do not to pounce upon her. Instead, his mouth fell agape with his tongue hanging out.
“My my, I haven’t seen that look since Twilight was practicing her enchantments.” Rarity commented. “From the appearance of things, I’d say you were under a magic spell!”
Bumbleberry’s eyes went wide. “Really? Could that be it?”
“I think so,” Rarity hesitated. “My friend Twilight Sparkle would know for sure.”
“I know her too!” Bumbleberry burst, with a little too much enthusiasm.
“Let’s go see her and figure this out,” she said delicately. She then headed toward the Golden Oak Library. Bumbleberry threw some bits on the mushroom table and bounced after Rarity.
Soon they were at the library. Rarity knocked on the door with her hoof. *clop* *clop* *clop* Twilight came to the door and poked her lavender head out. Her purple and pink bangs were perfectly in place and her horn seemed to sparkle in the sun.
“Hello Rarity!” she greeted her friend warmly. “Hello…” Bumbleberry stepped into the doorway and started rubbing his mane on her neck. While this was an acceptable greeting between very close friends, the grimace on Twilight’s face indicated that their friendship was not strong enough to warrant this behavior.
“Hello Twilight Sparkle!” Bumbleberry cooed. His usual green eyes were visibly covered with stars as he oogled her.
Twilight shook him off. “Is there something wrong?” she asked Rarity.
He stood still with an awestruck look as Rarity explained. “Bumbleberry isn’t feeling like himself today and I was wondering if you might know why.”
“I guess I can look through my books…” Twilight hesitated, her gaze fixed on Bumbleberry.
“Could you please?” Bumbleberry begged, stars still in his eyes. “I’ve been feeling very strange since I woke up.”
“Of course, come on in.”
Inside, Rarity directed Bumbleberry to a seat at the side of the room. “Why don’t you sit here while we look through these books,” she offered. Bumbleberry obeyed and stayed in a hyper-attentive sitting position. As they began looking through the books, his head darted quickly back and forth between them. He vaguely felt like a dog begging for food, but he didn’t feel hungry. He couldn’t take his eyes off them though, and tried his hardest not to jump up and rub himself against them again.
“So what exactly is going on with him?” Twilight asked Rarity in a low voice.
“I’m not sure.” She responded in a similar low voice. “But he keeps ogling us.”
Twilight looked back at him. He grinned widely at her and she smiled nervously back. “He seems quite taken with us,” she whispered to Rarity. Twilight flipped through another book. “Maybe he thinks one of us will be his very special somepony?”
“But it’s no where near Hearts And Hooves day!” Rarity hissed back, dropping a book on a growing pile of books. “And he barely knows either of us! Why is he acting like this now?” Both mares looked at him. He smiled mindlessly at them and they hid their feelings behind grimaced smiles. They continued looking through books in silence.
“I think I found something,” Twilight declared, looking through a brown book with a pony on the cover. “Hundreds of years ago, all stallions, when in the presence of mares, would become competitive and unruly.” She looked up at Bumbleberry, who had a worried expression on his face. She continued, “Stallions would be beset with urges to hug, fondle, and caress mares...”
“That doesn’t sound all bad,” Rarity commented. “What pony doesn’t want to be touched from time to time?”
“...if left unchecked, stallions would commit unspeakable crimes against mares.” Everypony frowned at each other. “Fortunately, Princess Celestia enacted a ‘safe stallion’ program. As part of the program, stallions were taught lessons from the Standards of Courtship.” Twilight put the book down. “What is the Standards of Courtship?”
“Oh, it’s a wonderful and old book!” Rarity cheered. “I have a copy from when my grandmother was a filly. It outlines proper etiquette and behavior between stallions and mares, especially when courting.” Rarity rolled her eyes. “I wonder if Prince Blueblood has ever heard of it?”
“Great!” Twilight cheered. “Bumbleberry can study the book and he should be cured.”
Bumbleberry’s shook his head. “I don’t think so. I can scarcely sit still, let alone read a book.” Though he was sitting, he was visibly wiggling with excess energy.”
Twilight and Rarity looked at each other, wondering what to do.
“Was there any other part of the ‘safe stallion’ program?” Rarity suggested.
Twilight continued to read, “Of course not all stallions learned their lessons. Such problem stallions underwent an operation known as ‘gelding’.”
“So,” Bumbleberry spoke up. “If I undergo this ‘gelding’ process, it would rid me of these urges?” He had no idea what it meant but getting rid of these frantic urges was his top concern.
Twilight nodded. “It would seem so.” The term seemed familiar to her but she couldn’t place it.
“But who in Ponyville knows how to do that?” Rarity asked incredulously.
“I think Applejack mentioned something about it before,” Twilight recalled. “Maybe you could ask her?”
“Sounds like a plan!” Bumbleberry jumped up. He still felt like running around and rubbing his body against the mares in front of him. The sooner he had this urge under control, the sooner he could return to normal life. “But…” he bowed his head “do either of you know where Applejack lives? I don’t remember.”
“Of course, darling,” Rarity comforted him. “I’ll walk you there.”
“Thank you, Twilight!” Bumbleberry beamed happily.
“Yes, thank you for all your help.” Rarity echoed. They both headed to the door.
“Let me know how the operation goes!” Twilight called out after them.
After a few minutes, they were outside of Ponyville, walking down the tree-lined road to Sweet Apple Acres. Rarity lead the way with her shining purple hair. The troubled pink stallion followed behind, unable to take his eyes off her tail, which swayed back and forth as she walked.
“... I’ve always considered the Standards of Courtship the gold standard for all relationships between ponies.” Rarity rambled to Bumbleberry. “I’ve read it many times since I was a young filly. I mean, has anyone ever taught you anything about courtship?”
“Yea…” he responded mindlessly.
Rarity looked back as she walked and noticed his eyes move back and forth as she swayed her tail. She smiled at him and decided to test him. While continuing to walk, she starting swinging her tail not just side to side, but up and down and every which way. His head bobbed up and down and every which way with her tail. She stopped quickly and he bumped into her.
Bumbleberry shook himself from his trance. “I’m so sorry, what were you saying?”
She laughed at him. “We’re here!”
Bumbleberry looked up and saw the red barn of Sweet Apple Acres. An orange pony with a cowboy hat was holding a watering can in her mouth, watering some sunflowers near the fence.
“Why hello there!” Applejack called out, dropping the can on the ground. Bumbleberry trotted forward to give her a hug but Rarity pulled him back by his tail.
“What can I do for you two this fine morning?”
“Well,” Rarity thought how to explain it. “Bumbleberry here has been feeling funny, and we’re trying to follow Celestia’s ‘safe stallion’ program to try to get him better.”
Applejack’s face contorted in thought. “‘Safe stallion’ program? I think I remember Granny Smith mention it when I was a young filly, but I don’t know nothin’ about that.”
“According to Twilight,” Bumbleberry explained, “you might know about a procedure called ‘gelding’ which might help?” His face was bright and hopeful.
The farmer pony’s eyes went wide. “Gelding? Are you sure about that?”
“What, wouldn’t it help?” Bumbleberry pleaded.
“Uh…” Applejack hid her hoof behind her hat. “I suppose it could help with some problems… What kind of problems have you been having?”
“Well…” Bumbleberry blushed with embarrassment and looked to Rarity.
“He’s been rather unruly and his behavior has been inappropriate for a stallion of his age.”
“I see.” Applejack nodded, understanding Rarity’s hint. “I guess gelding would help you, if you really wanted it.”
“What is gelding, exactly?” Bumbleberry asked.
“You know the bits that make a stallion different from a mare?” Applejack asked rhetorically. The stallion nodded. “Gelding is when you remove some of those bits.”
Bumbleberry’s ears flopped down, his face frowned and he sat on his rump with his hind legs crossed. Rarity gasped. “How barbaric!”
“But it would certainly help with those ‘urges’, if you know what I mean.” Applejack laughed. “If you really want, we can perform the gelding right here on the farm. I’ve got everything for it in the animal barn…”
The stallion shook his head quickly.
“I don’t think we’ll be needing your services.” Rarity huffed. “We certainly don’t need to be gelding Bumbleberry today.”
“Suit yourself.” Applejack smiled. “I hope you feel better soon, Bumbleberry!”
“Come on, maybe we can find another way to help you.” Rarity said hopefully.
Soon Bumbleberry was again entranced by Rarity’s tail. She continued to amuse herself by tossing it this way and that. As they neared Ponyville, Rarity spotted Fluttershy setting up for a picnic near a pond with her pet bunny, Angel. She decided to ask her for some advice regarding Bumbleberry’s problem.
She walked up to her with Cognato trailing behind. “Hello Fluttershy!” she greeted her friend warmly. She continued to swish her tail mindlessly, keeping the pink pony in a trance.
“Oh, hello Rarity!” Fluttershy said. “How are you this afternoon?”
“I’m quite well, thank you.”
“And how are you, Bumbleberry?” she asked, recognizing him.
“Fine…” Bumbleberry said distantly.
Fluttershy gave a confused look to Rarity.
“Don’t mind him,” Rarity explained, “he’s been acting very inappropriately today.” She looked back at him. “Swishing my tail is the only thing that keeps him sane.”
“Oh gosh, what’s wrong?”
“He’s completely enthralled with every single mare we meet. He throws himself at them and ogles them without shame.”
“Oh dear. It sounds like he’s in heat!”
“What does temperature have to do with his behavior?”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” Fluttershy explained, “lots of animals go into heat during their mating season. They usually become excitable and can’t think of anything but finding a mate.” Fluttershy put her hoof on her chin in thought. “But I’ve never heard of a pony going into heat.”
“That does sound like what Bumbleberry is going through,” Rarity mused. “Do you know how to cure it?”
“Usually, it goes away on its own.”
“But he’s been very inappropriate. His behavior has been very unbecoming of a stallion, and I’m afraid that, if left unchecked, he might do some very naughty things,” Rarity said, still swishing her tail at Bumbleberry.
“Oh that could be a problem. Sometimes creatures in heat can become aggressive. In that case, it’s best to keep them away from potential mates. He might calm down then.”
A slice of orange bounced off the back of Fluttershy’s head and fell to the ground. She turned and saw Angel pouting and tapping the ground with his foot. She looked back at Rarity. “I’m sorry, but I promised Angel I would go on a picnic with him this afternoon.”
“Oh, it’s quite alright. You’ve been very helpful. Maybe he is just in heat and it will go away on it’s own?” She turned to Bumbleberry and stopped her tail. “Don’t worry, we’ll help you out.”
“Thank you.” Bumbleberry smiled weakly at Rarity. “You’ve been so kind to me.”
“It’s no trouble at all to help a friend in need.” She smiled back.
Rarity led Bumbleberry back to the Carousel Boutique. They went inside and Rarity closed the door. She turned and looked at Bumbleberry. “How are you feeling?” She asked.
“I still feel crazy.” He looked into her eyes and it appeared as though hearts were floating all around her. “Is this really what it’s like to be in heat?”
“It might be,” Rarity considered. “Or it might be a latent disposition that wasn’t weeded out by the ‘safe stallion’ program.” She looked at him again. “Are you in any pain or discomfort?”
To Bumbleberry, Rarity looked like she was glowing. Absolutely stunning. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he saw something so beautiful and captivating. He shook his head back to sense. “No, it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t even feel bad.” He began to stare at her and his eyes glazed over. He suddenly felt the urge to hug her. “Aside from my extreme desire to touch you all over, it feels pretty great.” He blushed suddenly. “Did I just say that aloud?”
“I see.” Rarity grimaced at him. “Well I can see that if left unchecked you could very well commit unspeakable crimes against mares, and gelding is simply out of the question.”
He shook his head vigorously at the mention of the word.
“Then we’ll simply have to keep you out of trouble until you are no longer in heat.”
He nodded in agreement.
“Oh! I forgot about the Standards of Courtship!” She dashed into her room and returned with a worn brown book with yellow accents on the corners and spine. “Perhaps reading this book will help keep you occupied?” She levitated it to a short table in the corner. She then pushed him to the table and sat him down in front of the book. “Be a good safe stallion and give it a read. I have to finish up a few outfits for some clients this afternoon.” She trotted up the stairs to her bedroom and inspiration room.
For what seemed like the first time today, he felt like he could relax. He knew he was still wound up inside, but Rarity’s departure seemed to help things. I should really just lock myself in my house. He thought to himself. He looked down at the book and thought of Rarity. Just the thought of her reignited his excitement. But I wouldn’t want to disappoint Miss Rarity, now would I? He opened the book and focused that energy towards reading.
Standards of Courtship was written in a very old-fashioned way. The introduction by its author, Love Hearts, seemed to assume the reader already knew the book and instead highlighted its differences over some of the previous versions. Bumbleberry flipped past it and began reading the first chapter. Love Hearts defined courtship as the “seemingly superfluous ceremonial ritual for a proper mare to rate and select an eligible stallion.” Ms. Hearts must be from Canterlot. Bumbleberry thought to himself. She also coined the euphemism “very special somepony” to describe the subject of a romantic partnership. He continued reading.
Hearts went on to describe the ideal physical aspects of a very special somepony. She included relative age, height, length, shape of the mane and tail, quality of fur, color of the coat, and even the color of the eyes. “It’s important for the colors of a partnership to be complementary so as to be pleasing to the eyes of others in the herd.” She also wrote for several pages about how a cutie mark reveals personality and how it’s important to find one similar to one’s own cutie mark.
He had just started the chapter on manners when a blue pony with a yellow hourglass cutie mark walked in. Bumbleberry looked up at her. Immediately the sense of urgency from before returned. His felt his heart beat fast and started scuffing his front hoof on the floor.
“Hello, do you know where Rarity is?” she asked him.
Rather than answer her, he started evaluating her physical aspects. Same age, good height, good length, so far so good. Bumbleberry thought. Blue fur, white and royal blue mane, pale blue eyes; yes, she matches my colors very well. He started analyzing her cutie mark. The yellow hourglass is half filled, what on Earth does that mean?
Though Bumbleberry had never met her before, he couldn’t help himself. “May I ask what your cutie mark means?” he asked as Rarity came down the stairs and stepped into the room.
The blue pony gave him a confused frown. “Isn’t it rude to ask about a cutie mark before asking one’s name?”
This faux pas made Rarity jump. “Don’t mind him!” she yelped. She ran behind him and pushed him up the stairs into the bedroom. “Bumbleberry, why don’t you wait in here while I take care of Minuette.” She closed the door behind him and ran back downstairs to her customer.
Through the door, Bumbleberry could only hear the muffled conversation between them, something about the choice of fabrics and trying on the dress for size. Trying his best to ignore them, he looked around the room. It was clear that Rarity took the “organized chaos” approach to her inspiration. Strewn about the floor were swatches of fabric, cut parts of clothes, spools of ribbon, pins, pin cushions, scissors, needles, thread, and all manner of clothing making tools. To one side were bolts of fabric in several shelves. Along the wall, below several bay windows, stood several white mannequin ponies with their hooves outstretched. Most were bare but a few were wearing pieces of clothing. I’d better not touch anything, he thought. I know I’d be horrified if anypony moved my things while I was working.
He continued scanning the room. In the opposite corner there stood a lavish four-post canopy bed. Three large red curtains were hung and drawn on each side of the bed, trimmed with golden tassels. Matching red satin bedsheets were used over the mattress and pillows. The pillows themselves were thrown about and the comforter was pushed to one side. Her white robe with purple faux fur trim and purple eyemask were tossed on the bed.
Rarity has been so good to me today, he thought. I’ll make her bed to repay her generosity. He grabbed the robe with his mouth. He tried to ignored how soft it was as he tossed over his shoulders. He picked up the eyemask with his teeth and stopped. He suddenly felt enraptured with the scent of the white mare’s natural feminine aroma. His eyes glazed over as he hugged himself in the robe. He rubbed the satin and fuzziness over himself and drew in as much of her lovely smell as possible before breathing out.
He shook himself back to his senses and neighed. What am I doing? I just need to make this bed. He gripped the sheets in his mouth and pulled them tight over the bed. He threw the pillows into place at the head of the bed and put the mask near the pillows. He mouthed the robe on his back to toss it on the bed and stopped again. It was her scent again. There’s no harm in holding on to this, he rationalized, rubbing the fabric between over his neck. Besides, it’s cold up here.
But that’s no way to handle a lady’s nightwear, the sane part of himself thought. Just put it on the bed and walk away.
I am a bit cold though. He found himself slipping the silky sleeves of the robe over his hooves. I’m sure she won’t mind.
No! He bit at the robe as if to take it off. Instead, he threw himself onto the bed and was quickly immersed in her satin sheets and feminine aroma. Rarity’s scent and the sensation of the fabrics permeated his being and he lost himself. He crawled under the covers and rolled around, kicking the pillows everywhere.
“What are you doing!?” A mare cried out.
Bumbleberry sat up and froze, causing the sheet to fly up and reveal him. Rarity had come up the stairs and was standing in the doorway. They stared at each other as the sheet slowly settled on the bed.
His sanity came rushing back as he searched for words. “I was cold?” His excuse sounded hollow.
“Is that my nightgown?” Rarity yelled incredulously.
Bumbleberry looked at the robe he was wearing. “Yes?” Guilt and shame washed over him like ocean waves on a ship in a hurricane. His compulsions and anxiety disappeared in the wake of these overwhelming emotions. His head hung low, his ears were turned out, and he sat on the bed pitifully.
Rarity drew in a deep breath as if to yell but instead let it out slowly to relax. “What happened?”
“I… I…” he stammered, trying to put words to his feelings. “...I don’t know.”
She shook her head. “I think you know what happened,” she scolded. She took another deep breath. “I know you’re embarrassed and afraid of what I think, but if I’m going to help, you need to trust me and tell me what’s going on.”
“Do you promise not to judge me?” he squeaked.
Rarity nodded. “I promise.”
“The bed smelled like you,” he admitted. “And the robe too.”
Red spots appeared on the mare’s normally white cheeks. “You put on my robe and romped around in my bed because it smelled like me?”
Bumbleberry nodded. “That and it felt good,” he explained. “Your choice of fabric for your bed is exquisite.”
“Why thank you!” She reveled in the compliment. “I too find it quite comfortable.” She then gave him a commanding stare. “Please get off the bed so I can make it.”
He quickly jumped out of the bed, causing the robe to flair out as he moved. She used her magic to lift the pillows and blankets into place, making the bed look perfect. She hung the eye mask on an unseen hook on one of the posts.
“And my robe, please?” she asked.
“Sorry” He quickly shook off the robe and she levitated it into place with the mask.
She turned to look at him and shook her head. “What are we going to do with you?” she sighed.
“I don’t know!” Bumbleberry shivered with vulnerability and his voice quivered. “But I don’t want to be gelded!” He sniffled a few times before he threw his head back. Tears flew from his eyes as he began sobbing.
“There there, darling!” Rarity instinctively trotted towards him and hugged him. “No one is going to be gelded.” She held his head against her shoulder. “Certainly not a smart, respectful, capable stallion like you.”
Bumbleberry pulled his head back and looked at her. “Really?”
“Of course! You’re just going through a rough patch right now. I’m sure you’ll be better in no time.”
Her words of encouragement made him feel better. He stopped crying and sniffed back his tears. “You’re right,” he said, building up his confidence. “I just need to get through this and I’ll be fine.”
“That's the spirit!” she cheered, stepping back. “Now what about the Standards of Courtship? Did you learn anything?”
“I learned that other pony’s colors and cutie mark are important when choosing a very special somepony.”
Rarity thought back to Minuette. “Is that why you asked about her cutie mark?”
Bumbleberry bit his lip and nodded.
She thought hard and then shrugged. “I suppose it is an improvement.”
“It is?” He was confused.
She nodded her head. “Earlier today you were throwing yourself at my friends, but now you’re just asking impolite questions. It isn’t big, but it’s an improvement nonetheless.”
Bumbleberry blinked wide-eyed. It was true that he had improved and hadn’t even realized it. Instead of using his body, he used his words. He smiled widely at the realization. “I’m getting better!” He jumped up and down in excitement. The feelings of guilt began to ebb and soon he felt the anxiety from before. He stopped jumping. “I’d better read more before I lose control again!” he exclaimed.
“Good idea,” Rarity responded as he ran down the stairs. She smiled after him.
Standards of Courtship
Bumbleberry sat at the short work table in Carousel Boutique. Rarity was upstairs in her inspiration room humming while she worked on her latest creation. Without any distractions, Bumbleberry was able to suppress his urges and concentrate on becoming a safer stallion. He opened up his borrowed book, Standards of Courtship by Love Hearts, and continued where he left off.
The Standards of Courtship described manners as “interpony courtesies that distinguish a mare or stallion from other ponies.” Being a pony of class meant having good manners. It covered all the manners Bumbleberry had learned as a child, such as saying please and thank you, and how to take turns in a conversation and not interrupt. He also read new ones like being sure to knock before entering or thanking a host when visiting another pony’s house. Manners seemed to be of great importance and referenced other sections of the book that included exercises on practicing manners. The pink pony made a mental note to come back to this section and read on.
Love Hearts also wrote on how common courtesies are born from mutual respect for other ponies. This reverence is noted by using titles when addressing others, especially when courting. For example, “Miss” would typically be used before a mare’s name while “Mister” would be used before a stallion’s name. “Doctor” and “Princess” also are also common titles. I suppose I should use Miss with Rarity? Bumbleberry wondered.
The next section discussed a formal courtship between a stallion and a mare. When it comes to courting, discretion is of the utmost importance. Direct communication about the topic indicates poor adherence to social graces and rules. Such a pony is unlikely to be a good domestic partner because he or she is unlikely to follow the rules of the household.
Potential very special someponies typically meet at parties, as that is the traditional way of meeting friends. The book described numerous reasons for throwing a party including birthdays, special occasions, or even just because. However, it is rude to the other guests to host a party and then attempt to court one of the guests. To avoid this situation, Hearts recommends hiring a professional party-thrower to host instead of hosting one’s self, leaving one free to court.
Bumbleberry thought of the ponies around town that were professional party-throwers. I’d definitely hire Mrs. Cakes as my professional party-thrower, he thought. He looked back to the book.
For a mare to court a stallion, she should ask him to perform a service for her. This show of attention is also a show of approval to the stallion. Conversely, stallions show their preference for mares by offering their services to them. The difficulty of the service indicates the level of affection. A mare asking for an easy service indicates a lot of affection, as she does not want her very special somepony to work hard. A stallion offering a difficult service indicates a lot of affection as he does not want his very special somepony to work hard. So typically mares ask for difficult tasks and gradually ask for easier ones whereas stallions offer easy tasks and gradually offer harder ones. The book contained a huge number of example tasks, but a few of them, in order from easiest to most difficult, were opening doors, getting drinks, pulling carts, cooking food, and pro bono professional services.
Hearts pointed out that changing gender roles have sometimes caused the services of courting to be inverted, where the mares offer and the stallions ask, but at the time of publishing, it was considered unconventional.
Once a service is finished, another service could be requested or offered to indicate that the courtship is going well. Refusing the services, would indicate that the courtship is going poorly, and that the mare and stallion should look elsewhere for their very special somepony. Services were often arranged for several days ahead, when both parties are free. The Standards of Courtship points out that one mare could easily receive service from several stallions at once, rating each of them as a potential very special somepony. Similarly, one stallion can provide service to several mares at once.
The ultimate sign of affection in the courtship is when the guise of service is dropped and the two ponies arrange time to spend together without a service in mind. Bumbleberry wondered if Hearts and Hooves day was created so ponies could schedule a date to drop the guise and instead just spend time together.
A short while later, there was a knock at the front door of the Carousel Boutique. Bumbleberry looked up from his book at the door. Rarity came running down the stairs. “Coming!” she trilled.
Suddenly Bumbleberry felt himself being pushed into one of the changing rooms. “Wait in here until I’m done,” the seamstress ordered. “I don’t want you getting into any more trouble while my customer’s here.” She used her magic to close the curtains and threw open the door.
“Hello Rainbow Dash!” Rarity greeted her guest. “Here for your pick-up?”
“I sure am!” Rainbow replied. She stepped inside and Rarity ran across the room.
Bumbleberry listened through the curtain.
“I have your suit right here.”
“I’m so excited to have a Shadowbolt costume!”
“I designed it off a pattern for the Wonderbolts flying suit.”
“I know. I just want something a little darker for Nightmare Moon Night.”
“Well try it on first. It fits tighter than most outfits so it might need adjustments.”
Rainbow Dash stepped into one of the other changing rooms and zipped up the outfit. Out of curiosity, Bumbleberry peaked through the curtains to see Rainbow in the costume. He saw her step down to the floor and exchange words with Rarity, but he didn’t hear them because he was so enthralled with what he saw. Rainbow Dash’s feminine features and agile body were accentuated by the tight-fit suit. Her wings were bare, showing off her delicate feathers while her powerful legs were outlined by the fabric. She shifted a few times, moving her body underneath the material a bit. She took off and flew in a small circle before landing again. Watching her move so gracefully made him start to step in place nervously.
“It’s a little tight,” she admitted. “I think I need a little more room to breathe if I’m going to be doing my amazing tricks in this thing.”
Rarity nodded with understanding. “Of course dear. That’s why we do these fittings.”
“I understand.” Rainbow Dash bowed her head low and extended her back legs, trying to stretch out her back in the suit. Bumbleberry didn’t know why he was compelled to step out of the dressing room and approach Rainbow Dash. Both mares looked up at him.
“Oh, Bumbleberry, I didn’t know you were here,” the athlete greeted him.
Rarity was aghast to see him, and didn’t have a chance to react before he spoke.
“Hello Miss Rainbow Dash, it’s nice to see you today too.” Bumbleberry bit his lips, wondering if that was enough manners. “Would you like some help taking off that suit?”
“Sure! It’s a little too tight and I’m not sure if I can take it off myself.” She turned, exposing the zipper to him.
The stallion smiled widely and shook with excitement. Rarity stood with mouth agape. “Did … did you just…” Rarity stammered.
Bumbleberry unzipped the suit with his teeth and Rainbow let out a sigh of relief. “Yeah, just a little looser, if you could, Rarity.”
Rarity blinked. “Of course!” she said, levitating the suit into the air. “I’ll let out the seams a bit. It should be ready tomorrow.”
“Thank you Rarity, and thank you Bumbleberry!” she smiled at each of them and walked out the door.
As soon as the door closed Rarity dropped the suit and turned to the stallion. “What was that?” She demanded.
Bumbleberry frowned. “I think that was Rainbow Dash turning down my advances.”
“What?”
“According to the book, if she accepted it, she should have asked for another service.”
Rarity looked surprised at him. Then she shook her head. “Right the Standards of Courtship!” She had completely forgotten about it. “Well she probably wasn’t expecting it. First, Rainbow Dash is hardly up to date on the finer points of courtship. She doesn’t even like to read!” She looked sideways at the door. “Second, this is a professional establishment, not a party. She wasn’t expecting a stallion to try to court her here.”
Bumbleberry nodded, jotting down notes on a notebook with a pencil. “What about her colors, do you think they complimented mine?”
“I… well, yes they do.” She was surprised at how much he took to the book. “But try to be a less direct. It’s rude to talk the colors of ponies, even to your friends.”
The pink pony took a few more notes. “Alright, one last question. Did you need help folding that suit?”
“No, I…” Rarity stopped as she took in his offer. It was clear he wanted to use the courting techniques he just read. Thinking on it for a moment, Rarity cleared her throat and spoke in a suggestive tone. “Ahem, what I mean is no, I couldn’t possibly trouble you for such a task.”
She smiled coyly and Bumbleberry smiled back.
“Are you sure? It really is no trouble!”
Rarity tossed her hair and looked away. “Well, if it’s really no trouble, I suppose you can.”
He jumped at the success and then bounced over to the suit. He carefully folded it with all of the precision he could and gently placed it at her hooves. “Here you are, Miss Rarity!”
The mare stepped in place and cooed with excitement. She was so thrilled to be treated like a proper lady! She then shook herself off and stood still. “Thank you, Mister Bumbleberry.” She bent her front leg and bowed to him. Then she levitated the suit and turned to the stairs.
“Do you need any help upstairs?”
She stopped and looked at him. “Um…” She knew this question was coming but didn’t know how to put it. “Bumbleberry, I think you’ve a very nice pony, and I think we have a lot in common, what with how we both design our own material and all, but…” she smiled weakly at him, hoping he’d understand.
Bumbleberry frowned and looked at the floor. “I understand,” he despaired. “But…” he sat up and gave her a knowing smile. “Is there anything I could help you with upstairs?” he asked deliberately. His face was proud but his eyes were pleading.
Rarity took pity. “Yes, there are some things I could use help with,” she said delicately. “But strictly on a professional basis!” Bumbleberry frowned at her and looked up at her with the biggest sad eyes he could muster. She sighed. “Don’t worry, I can still rate you as a potential very special somepony.” He grinned widely and she blushed. “I mean somepony ELSE’s very special somepony!” Embarrassed, she ran up the stairs with Bumbleberry right behind her.
Tailored to One’s Needs
The view from the second floor of the Carousel Boutique was stunning. All of Ponyville could be seen through the great bay windows, and the setting orange sun in the distance painted Equestria in a bright orange and yellow glow. The light cast long shadows from the mannequins, causing the silhouettes of Rarity’s designs to appear on the floor. The place was an absolute mess, typical of Rarity's inspiration room.
Rarity and Bumbleberry stepped in. The unicorn moved one of the empty mannequins forward and then fitted the Shadowbolt suit onto it.
“I usually work alone,” she said, as she looked around for something Bumbleberry to do. “Most ponies only get in the way and disrupt my creative process.”
“I’ll stay out of your way, I promise!” The enthralled stallion cheered. “I’ll do anything you’d like!”
“Of course you will, darling.” Rarity looked up. “Ah, I know what you can do. See those small windows? I’ve always wanted small curtains around them. Could you put them up for me?”
Bumbleberry looked up at the windows. They were very high off the ground and were difficult to get to. “Do you have a ladder?” he asked.
“No, I don’t.” Rarity said, rummaging through some of fabric. “Here, you can use these for the drapes.” She levitated a small metal rod and two small curtains to his feet; everything he needed for the task. “Do you think you can do it?” she asked with a smile.
Bumbleberry looked at the equipment, and then up at the windows. The task seemed ridiculous. He looked at Rarity to tell her that he couldn’t do it, but seeing her face gave him those strange feelings from before. He felt like he would move a mountain if it meant she would think well of him. She smiled at him and he nodded. “Of course, Miss Rarity, anything for you!”
“Splendid!” Rarity cheered. “I have a few more things I want to do before my work is done.” She put on her red cat eye glasses, grabbed a seam-ripper, and started undoing the stitches of Rainbow Dash’s costume.
Bumbleberry looked up again at the windows. Without a ladder, getting up there would be nearly impossible. He could go and look for one, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Rarity’s side. Instead he looked around the room for something he could stand on. The sewing desk and mannequins were far too short to give him the boost he needed. He thought about turning the fainting couch in the corner on its side, but it’d still be too short. The only things tall enough were the bedposts, and they were attached to the bed. He looked at it and nodded.
“May I move your bed, Miss Rarity?” he asked.
“Yes, of course dear,” she answered somewhat absent-mindedly, not looking up from her work.
He walked around the bed, put his head against it, and pushed. The bed wasn’t budging. He took a brief pause and tried several more times before giving up. He wondered if he could do anything to make it easier to move. Unfortunately, the only thing would be to remove the mattress.
He gave a heavy sigh and started taking the sheets off the bed, folding them onto the fainting couch. Once everything was moved off, he put his head under the plain mattress and pushed it off the frame. He awkwardly managed to lean it against the wall. Rarity looked up to see him rearrange her furniture, but continued working without a comment.
After all that, he tried once more to move the frame. He pushed as hard as he could. Beads of sweat appeared on his brow, and the frame started to move. Bumbleberry quietly celebrated and slowly pushed the frame so the bedpost was directly under the window.
Next he looked up at the tall bed posts. Climbing to the top was going to be a task on its own. Fortunately he’d left the canopy up. He untied it from the posts so it hung down, giving him something to hang onto.
He took a deep breath before attempting an acrobatic feat. He jumped forward into the bed frame, and clamped his mouth onto one of the canopy walls. He then swung to reach another canopy wall and grab it with his front hooves. He let go with his mouth and was able to swing his back legs around the post under the window. Grabbing the post with his mouth and hooves, he inched his way up until he was precariously balanced at the top, holding onto the post with his hind legs.
That wasn’t so bad. He thought, though he was out of breath. He then looked down. There on the ground was the rod and curtains to be hung. He slapped his forehead as his foolishness.
“Um, Miss Rarity?” he asked quietly. “Could I trouble you to hand me the curtains and rod, please?”
Rarity, levitating a needle and thread and some fabric, looked up at the awkwardly hanging Bumbleberry. She smiled mischieviously directly at him. “I’m sorry, I’m very busy. Was my task too hard?” she taunted him.
He smiled with understanding. She was testing him. Her refusal sent shivers of delight over his body. “Of course not! I can do it, don’t mind me!” He waved and smiled at her. Suddenly he lost his balance and fell off the bedpost with a thud. Rarity watched as he stood back up before getting back to her work.
After a few tries, Bumbleberry managed to get back up the bedpost with the materials in his mouth. Once there, he hammered in the rod with his hooves and hung the curtain. “How’s that, Rarity?” he called down from his perch.
She looked up. “It’s difficult to tell with the bed in the way, could you move it back?” She smiled at him and blinked her eyes.
Bumbleberry’s mouth tightened. If she weren’t so beautiful… “Of course, I’ll move it back.” He dropped down from the post and sweat again as he pushed the bed frame back to where it was supposed to be. “How about now?” he asked, out of breath.
Rarity smiled at him again. “I just can’t tell anything if the bed isn’t made. Could you please move the mattress back and put the sheets back on?" Her tone was taunting and her body language teasing.
Bumbleberry shook with excitement. Somehow, her words egged him on. "Right, I'll put it all back."
He carefully moved the mattress back onto the frame and quickly put the sheets and pillows on the bed, stopping only once take in their scent. He then turned to Rarity.
"I'm done," he declared. "What do you think of the curtains?"
Rarity looked up at the curtains thoughtfully, and then back at Bumbleberry. She smiled widely and wiggled her eyebrows mischievously.
"They're perfect!" she cried. She rushed over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
Time seemed to stop for Bumbleberry. A kiss from this purple-maned pony was everything he'd wanted. Her lips were soft and gentle. Her fur tickled his face. He could smell the floral wash she'd used that morning. He closed his eyes as he basked in the sensation and committed it to memory.
“Are you alright?” she asked him, concerned. “Did you enjoy the task I gave you, or was it too hard?”
He shook his head. “It was hard, but not too hard. It was perfect.” He smiled at her.
She nodded happily. “Great! As for the curtains, I’ve changed my mind about them.” Using her magic, she plucked the rod and drapes from where Bumbleberry so carefully placed them and brought them back to the ground.
Bumbleberry looked up with mouth agape at where the curtain used to be. Did she really just do that?
Rarity covered her mouth as she started snickering at him. “You… you should see the look on your face.”
He gave Rarity a little frown. Rarity couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
“Were you planning that the whole time?” Bumbleberry asked, incredulously.
The crafty unicorn nodded, calming herself down. “Yes. I didn’t have anything for you to do, so I had you do that.” She looked at Bumbleberry’s astonished face. “Isn’t the act more important than the product anyway?”
Bumbleberry’s eyes looked to his cheek where she had kissed him. “I suppose you’re right.”
“Now, are you up for one more task? I do have something you could help me with, for real this time.”
They smiled at each other.
Enter Bumbleberry
He donned his helmet, elbow pads, glooves, and his very favorite cloak. Everything set, Bumbleberry got on his latest two-wheeled vehicular purchase and pressed his hoof off the ground. The vehicle started rolling forward. The construction seemed successful as he pedaled faster. Down the streets of Ponyville he traveled and was reveling in feeling of the wind in his mane.
It was at this exact moment, speeding down the road, that he realized he had forgotten to install one crucial element: the brakes. Suddenly he was flying through the town shopping square, traveling much too fast to attempt to drag his hooves to slow down. He swerved several times, nearly hitting a few ponies and upsetting a cart filled with fruit. He passed through the square traveling far too fast and crashed into the side of a building, cushioned slightly by a stiff shrub.
“Are you alright?” came the voice of the curious pony who was resident to this building. Her white fur and purple mane sparkled in the sun.
Bumbleberry slowly stood up where he was and shook off the stars that were swirling around his head.
“Oh my goodness!” She cried when she saw him.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to crash into your store.”
“No, don’t worry about that! Let’s get you inside, quickly.”
Bumbleberry was confused but when he looked down at his leg he saw that it was badly gashed. He quickly followed her into the Carousel Boutique, carrying his vehicle with him.
“Thank you so much, Ms…?”
“Rarity” she said, as she started rummaging through her shelves.
“Thank you for your help. I’m Bumbleberry. I guess I lost control there.” He leaned his vehicle against the wall next to the door.
“It’s no trouble at all, Bumbleberry!” She found what she was looking for and came over. “I couldn’t let any self-respecting mare be caught outside in THAT outfit.” Using her magic, she simultaneously removed his cloak, helmet, pads, and glooves.
“I’m not a mare” he protested.
“...I see that now” she said, looking at his revealed body, blushing a bit. “Oh, and you have a gash too!” she exclaimed as she dropped his clothes. “Let me help you with that!” She ran off into another room and returned immediately with a little white box with a red cross on it. She took out a bandage and wrapped it around his leg.
“Thank you for your generosity, Miss Rarity.”
“Oh please, it’s just Rarity. And there’s no need to thank me. In fact, I have done you a great disservice by calling you a mare instead of a stallion. I’m usually good with that sort of thing.”
“It’s not a disservice. I’ve been mistaken like that ever since I was a little colt. Besides, l take it as a compliment. We are ruled over by a princess after all.”
“But still, I shouldn’t have been so presumptive. Please let me make it up to you?” She grinned pleadingly.
“Um, alright, but I don’t know what you could do, I don’t have anything…”
She held up his cloak. It had countless patches on it and was freshly torn in three places. “Perhaps I could make you a new one of these?”
“Oh, that? Well…”
“It’s very worn…” she said as she inspected it further “... it’s practically threadbare!”
“It’s kind of a good luck charm” he glanced around the room nervously “I always wear it when I try out new inventions.”
“I can just…”
“There’s no need” he cut her off, grabbing it out of the air with his mouth and throwing it on his back. “I can just fix it up myself.”
“But…”
“No, really, it’s okay.” He looked around frantically. “Maybe I can just take this?” he indicated the garment she was holding earlier that she had dropped there.
“Um…”
“Please Miss Rarity?”
“Alright, but be a dear and let me see you in it first” she agreed. “I want to see if it fits” she added craftily.
“It’s a deal!” he exclaimed. He shook the cloak to the ground and picked up the garment and shook it out to get a look at it. He then went red with embarrassment.
“Go on, try it on!” Rarity pushed.
“But… it’s a dress!”
“That’s because I mistook you when you first came in here.”
“But… it’s a dress.”
“It’s not going to bite you. Besides, even stallions deserve to be beautiful.”
“But… it’s a dress!”
“I thought we had a deal” Rarity complained, turning away gracefully.
“Yes, I suppose we did. Thank you” he said shyly, turning red. Hastily he pulled the garment over his head.
Rarity levitated a sales bag from the counter and put all of his old clothes into it. She knotted the bag tightly and fitted it onto his back. “There, now off you go!”
“But...” Bumbleberry tried to protest as he looked towards the door to the outside.
Rarity pushed him towards the door with her forehead. “Go on, it’s getting late and I have to get back to work!” She opened the door and pushed him outside, and then wheeled his vehicle over to him.
“Uh…” He looked around nervously.
“You’ll be fine. You’re one of the prettiest mares I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
Bumbleberry blushed. “Thank you, Miss Rarity.” That compliment was enough to encourage him to begin walking home.
“If you want me to fix your cloak, all you need do is ask!”
Bumbleberry began walking faster.
Rarity called out after him “See you again soon!”
