Rip Mah Stockings, Diamond Tiara!
Rip Mah Stockings, Diamond Tiara!
If there was one thing Diamond Tiara hated more than Apple Bloom, it was Apple Bloom in a Prench maid outfit. Not only was it creepy, but for some reason it made her heart beat like mad. She had just woken up, minding her own business when Apple Bloom burst through her door, in a Prench maid outfit, and started dancing in front of her, telling her to-
“Rip mah stockings, Diamond Tiara!”
...Yes, that. Diamond Tiara had seen many strange things in her young life such as a bunch of tiny balls with wings eating the town, or an Ursa Minor rampaging through town. The most recent she could remember being the town being assaulted by thorny vines, the kind that reminded her of the ones in her Neighponese hent-I mean, anime. Yes, her totally not graphic, totally child friendly anime.
“Rip mah stockings, Diamond Tiara!”
However all of those occurrences had nothing on Apple Bloom, dressed as a Prench maid, wanting her stockings ripped by Diamond for some odd reason.
“Apple Bloom,” Diamond Tiara said, finally finding the courage to speak. “What are you doing in my room?”
“Rip mah stockings, Diamond Tiara!”
“...Riiight.” Getting up from her bed, Diamond Tiara walked past Apple Bloom, who was now on her back, peddling all four legs back and fourth, and opened the door. “DADDY! GET THIS CRAZY PONY OUT OF MY ROOM!” she yelled as loud as she could. After a few seconds of waiting, she called out again, and once again, there was no answer.
“Rip mah stock-” Diamond Tiara quickly ran up to Apple Bloom and stuffed her hoof in her mouth.
“You finish that sentence and I will kill you!” Diamond Tiara snarled as she turned around, glaring at the smiling Apple Bloom.
“-ings, Diamond Tiara!”
“Ghahh!” Resisting the urge to pull her mane out, Diamond Tiara quickly left her room, slamming the door behind. “Daddy! Where are you?!” she called out for a third time. Once again, she was met with only silence. “Where is he?” Diamond Tiara mumbled to herself. Maybe he’s outside? she thought.
Deciding that was the only possible explanation, she quickly ran outside her house and gaped at what was happening.
It was chaos.
Buildings were flying in the air, upside down no less! Trees were filled with candy instead of fruit! Rabbits running around on incredibly long four legs! Derpy was flying straight and delivering mail… ON TIME!
“W-what is going on here?!” she screamed and quickly turned around to run inside her house. Or she would have, if not for a certain apple farmer blocking her way.
“Rip mah stockings, Diamond Tiara!”
“GHAH!” Diamond Tiara screamed as she ran as far away from Apple Bloom as possible. There was only one place she knew she would be safe at; Barnyard Bargains, her father’s business. If she could just get there, then her father would protect her from all this craziness.
She tried to ignore everything, from the bunny stampede, all the way to the tutu-wearing bulls. But all that craziness didn’t matter, not so long as she could get to her daddy. Then everything would be alright. Seeing Barnyard Bargains up ahead, Diamond Tiara ran even faster and bursted through the front door.
“Daddy, are you here?!” Diamond Tiara called out desperately.
“Diamond Tiara!” she heard her father call from the next room over.
“Daddy!” A smile quickly formed on her face, and she quickly rushed into the next room. “Daddy! I’m so glad you’re al…” Diamond Tiara was unable to finish her sentence. The horror in front of her sapped what little hope she had, and she slowly backed away. “No...no…” she muttered to herself, staring at her father who was wearing a Prench maid outfit, just like Apple Bloom’s.
“Rip my stockings, Diamond Tiara!”
“NOOOOOOO!”
“Okay, Diamond Tiara. Stay cool. Everything is going to be fine,” Diamond Tiara mumbled to herself. She was pacing around in her bedroom, occasionally staring out the window. Currently it was raining stallions, all of which was covered in muscle, body builders by the looks of it. “Well, that was disturbing,” Diamond Tiara muttered as she closed her pink curtains, illuminating the room with a soft pink glow.
“Rip mah stockings, Diamond Tiara!”
Ignoring Apple Bloom, who was currently laying on top of her bed and pulling up her stockings, Diamond Tiara rummaged through her mini fridge, gritting her teeth every time Apple Bloom asked her to-
“Rip mah sto-”
“Will you quit asking me that?!” Diamond Tiara yelled as she threw a nearby plushie, hitting Apple Bloom in the face. “I thought your stupid crusading was annoying! But this is worse! This is ten times worse!” After a few seconds of silence, Diamond Tiara sighed happily, a smile adorning her face. Finally, that idiot finally decided to-
“Rip mah stockings, Diamond Tiara!”
“...”
Diamond’s smile slowly turned into a snarl. The only noise in the room was the sound of Diamond Tiara’s teeth grinding together. Her left eye twitched uncontrollably. And then her snarl slowly turned into a smile. A bitter, angry smile.
“You want me to rip your stockings?” Diamond Tiara asked sweetly, her left eye still twitching uncontrollably.
“Rip mah stockings, Diamond Tiara!”
Chuckling, Diamond Tiara slowly crept up to Apple Bloom. Her laughter echoing throughout the room.
“You want me to rip your stockings, eh? YOU WANT ME TO RIP YOUR STOCKINGS, HUH?!” Diamond Tiara yelled as she jumped on top of Apple Bloom. “FINE! I’LL RIP YOUR STOCKINGS, ALRIGHT!”
It was at that moment, the sky was filled with a shining rainbow, that shone through even her curtains.
What was that? Diamond Tiara asked herself, staring at her curtains. She was about to go open the curtains when she heard Apple Bloom grunting under her.
“Ugh, where am ah?” Apple Bloom asked as she looked around the room, and then towards Diamond Tiara. “Uh, Diamond Tiara, why am ah in your room?”
“Uh…” Diamond Tiara mumbled and continued staring at Apple Bloom, who looked down and saw her outfit.
“And...why am ah in a Prench maid outfit?!” Apple Bloom screamed. She then caught a glimpse of Diamond Tiara’s hooves. “A-and… Diamond Tiara?”
“Yes?” Diamond Tiara replied, her face burning red in embarrassment.
“Why...are you ripping mah stockings?” Apple Bloom asked, blushing madly. Unable to say anything, Diamond Tiara slowly smiled. Shrieking madly, Apple Bloom quickly shoved Diamond Tiara off of her and ran out of the house.
“Owch,” Diamond Tiara groaned as she slowly got up with a sigh.
Today was truly a horrific day.
