My Little Awesome: Friendship is the F%$king Sh1t

by Jacksonite

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Adventure, Comedy
Length: 1379

Twilight likes quiet and normal-ness, don't worry though, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash'll put a stop to that.

MA 18+: Strong Adult Language, Drug References

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash are best pals and love to annoy ponies and do dumb shit. Twilight is one of those ponies. This is their misadventures in Ponyville doing stupid stuff!
Also Spike gets lost in an alternate dimension or something, no one liked him anybutt.

(Warning: If you hate dumb internet memes and references, then this is not the fic for you.)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-18 00:20:07 UTC

Chapter One: My Little Awesome, Part 1

It was a cold, winters day and a purple unicorn known as Twilight Sparkle was snuggled up in her bed, reading a particularly interesting book about Ponyville history.

She took another sip at her hot chocolate and smiled.

The rain and snow railed against window, causing Twilight to flinch with every twang of hail against the tree walls of the library.

She tried to ignore it and continue reading her book.

“Twilight!” Yelled a very scared looking Spike, “I’m scared!”

He got on all fours and climbed under the bed, shaking with fear.

Twilight giggled at Spikes shenanigans, “Don’t worry Spike, everything will be fine. This old tree’s survived far worse storms. In fact, I remember the time this whole place was lifted up and crashed back into the ground.”

“Fine,” Signed Spike, get out from under the bed.  A crack of thunder made him jump and run back underneath the bed.

Twilight levitated a small piece of parchment from her desk and tore a piece from it. She slid it into the book and closed it.

“Spike, its just thunder-”

Twilight was interrupted by Rainbow Dash crashing through the window.

Twilight didn’t exactly know what to do Sure, the cyan Pegasus had crashed through her wall plenty of times. They would always discuss the legal issues and the exchange insurance information.

“Sup bitch!” Rainbow Dash cried, the surfboard she was on clanged to the floor. She smirked.

“Rainbow Dash! What do you think you’re doing?!” The furious purple mare finally blurted out.

Rainbow Dash raised a hoof to Twilights lips and shushed her.

“When you’re this awesome,” She stopped to smirk again, leaning up really close to Twilights ear.

“You don’t need to think,” She whispered in the most calming tone she could muster.

With that the rainbow maned pony was gone, with yet another large hole torn in the tree. Rain was banging against the floor exposed to the elements, the angry librarian grinded her teeth together. Her horn lit up and a very confused Rainbow Dash reappeared in front of her.

“Wha-?” She muttered, Dash shook her head and stared at Twilight.

“Twi! What the fuck dude!” Rainbow Dash pointed her hoof at the unicorn in question. The Pegasus made her muzzle scrunch up at Twilight, her eyebrows lowering as she started to vibrate. Slowly at first and then faster.

“Stop that! Scrunching at me isn’t going to let you avoid anything!” Twilight was trying to keep a calm tone in her voice, but it wasn’t working. Twilight pointed her hoof at the gaping hole in her wall and roof.

Spike at this point was absolutely terrified. Not only was Rainbow Dash being really scary and punching holes in people’s walls, but Spike could hear the thunder even clearer and see the lightning in the distance.

Spike gulped and burrowed deeper into the depths of underneath Twilights bed-frame.

He crawled backwards until he realised that by now he should’ve left the crawl-space out the other side of the bed, yet this wasn’t the case. The metal of the bed-frame and the wood of the floor changed to a tunnel of discarded socks and clothes. He still didn’t turn around, still crawling backwards.

All he could think was, “Strom scary, ‘under-bed’ not!” As he traversed deeper inside that of the newly named, ‘under-bed’.

He suddenly felt a strange sense in his hind legs. He hadn't realized what is was until it was in his claws as well.

“What is that? I know I’ve felt it before, I just can’t put my claw on it…” He thought, scratching his chin.

He looked down for the first time, right in front of him he saw what appeared to be a ledge of a description, although the edge was on the other side, it was on his side.

He looked straight down.

There wasn't anything there.

“Oh, that’s what it was.” He chuckled, followed by the sound of Spike yelling in horror as he plummeted down into the depths of… Well… Under Twilight Sparkles’ bed of course.

All Spike could hear was the wind rushing up from where ever the hell he was falling too and the bickering of two mares from above.

“I mean seriously Dash! Why would you do this, I mean clearly this wasn't an accident! So why, Rainbow?” Twilight was at the end of her rope.

Rainbow Dash giggle, eyes focusing on Twilight’s horn, the one she’d used to teleport her back here.

“Your horn looks like a purple carrot,” She giggle quietly at her own joke, she made a biting motion with her teeth, clanging them together slowly.

More rain pelted down inside the house, absolutely soaking most of Twilight's belongings, including a very important letter to Princess Celestia. Although Twilight was now on par with the Princess being an Alicorn and all. She still liked to occasionally send a letter to her now and then.

It’s a good thing that the Royal postal service was free for Alicorns and, well, Royals. Mostly because the Princess liked to reply to ther letters with a small piece of parchment that either had, ‘lol,’ written on it or, ‘:D’.

Twilight grumbled and materialized two large umbrellas over the holes in her wall and roof.

“Couldn’t you just fix the wall with your magic?” Asked Rainbow Dash, leaning on Twilights desk.

Before Twilight could make a snappy reply or even think of one, A very happy pink pony stuck her head through the wall.

“Helloooooooo! Rainbow Daaaaaash!!” She cooed, “Oh! There you are!”

Pinkie Pie bounced inside, looking as cheerful as ever.

“Of course Pinkie, come in. It’s a galloping party in here! Make yourself at home,” Twilight snorted sarcastically.

“Gee! Thanks Twilight! Shame it’s only you and Dash at this party!” Giggled Pinkie Pie, totally oblivious to the fact that

Twilight wasn't being serious. The purple unicorn sighed and face-hoofed.

Twilight did notice that Pinkie was wearing a pair of thick sunglasses, a small detail draw on the side. She couldn't make out what it said though.

“Pinkie, whose shades?” Twilight said, her attention draw to them for some reason.

“Thought you’d never ask!” Pinkie giggled, her already borderline insanely happy voice pipping up another ‘happiness level’, her cheeks broader than she’d ever seen them. It was creepily happy, but just not a bit too happy for Twilights liking.

The point is the Pinkie is super fuckin’ happy about something.

Pinkie grabbed the shades and slowly lowered them over her eyes. The second the awesome looking accessory came to rest on the nose of her muzzle, something very peculiar happened.

A thick, amazing sounding line of pure, unadulterated electronic Dubstep blasted from Pinkie, no speakers or anything. Just from her general direction, the blast was so powerful it shattered every piece of glass and every window in Twilights

Library. The purple unicorn would be very angry at this, if she could think.

She was blasted straight against the wall, Rainbow did the same. The two ponies were held against the wall with pure sound waves.

Pinkie just stood there, smiling broadly.

Twilight looked over at Rainbow Dash, the Pegasus was smiling and mouthed the words, ‘pretty impressive, eh?’

The wind was one thing, but the music itself could take Vinyl Scratch for all she was worth.

Twilights very structure shook ever time the base kicked. And when the wub dubbed? Her eardrums were driven ten feet into her skull with the sheer intensity.

She opened her mouth to speak but all that happened was her face was stretched back as if she were skydiving.

Finally, Pinkie Pie grabbed the shades and pulled them off, still on the verge of bursting into laughter.

Whilst Twilight was catching her breathe Rainbow Dash galloped toward Pinkie and jumped into the air, flying at full speed to ward her.

Pinkie lifted up her free fore hoof, as Dash’s hoof connected with hers, at the moment the high-hoof happened a sonic-rain-boom rocked the very foundations of Twilight’s house and library.

Any glass or breakable objects in Twilights house were now, most defiantly, dust and rubble.

“FRIENDSHIP IS THE FUCKING SHIT DUDE!!” Rainbow Dash screamed, playing a guitar solo with an imaginary guitar.

Twilight sighed heavily.