The Most Epic Peach Saga There Is

     Three days. Three days is how long it's been since my lover brought home someone new. A fruit. Not just any fruit; a peach. How could he do this? How could my sweet Macintosh hold on to something else dear? Has he forgotten about me? Smartypants? The doll he loved more than anything?

     It all started after a recent tea party, three days to be exact. Big Mac left for a bit. I didn't fret; I knew he would be back soon. But what was really surprising was that Big Mac had a peach in his red hoof. What would he want with the fuzzy fruit? Why would he choose a peach over an apple? He did live on an apple farm. At first, I thought he would eat it. Most logical choice, am I right?

     Nope! He kept it! In fact, he stared hanging out with it instead of me. He played with me less and less, and with the peach (I think he calls it Ms. Peach the Peachy Peach) more and more. Tea parties, swings, dancing, all without me. What does that stupid peach have that I don't? I'm fuzzy, have buttons, have a mane, wears clothes, and not to mention having a high level of intelligence. Ms. Peach is just... fuzzy. Fuzzy and orange. Not special at all.

     Why couldn't he just eat the peach?! I was with him first! Hah, what if I ate the peach first? Big Mac would be too heartbroken to get a new one. I licked my lips. Get ready for some peachiness.

     I trotted over to where Ms. Peach the Peachy Peach lay. Such a ridiculous long name. Too bad I will eat her soon. My mis-matched button eyes met her thick plump skin, just begging to be eaten. "You look very scrumptious." I said, taking in the tropical smell. It was so hard not to pounce on her right this very second.

     "Umm...thanks?" Ms. Peach said. She would never know what was coming. I circled around her, slowly and quietly like a shark. And I was to strike. The velvet padding on my hooves muffled my hoof steps as my tongue hung out. Drool dripped onto the floor, making it slippery. "It would be a shame if something happened..."

     Ms. Peach tried to roll away before I held her sides. Man, I was never this close to her. Orange individual hairs could be sin on the skin... it wouldn't be that long. "Y-You can't do this! Big Macintosh will find out. Then he will hate you forever."

     "I don't think so. He loved me first, and he always will." I dug my teeth into her sides, where she let out a loud shriek. Peach juice poured out of the wounds as I bit again and again. Spattered juice coated the floor as well, making everything the better. It was truly a sight. If only I had a camera so I could record this.

     Just as I came for the final kill, she rolled herself from under me to on top of me, crushing my soft legs. Even though I have no bones, it still hurt! She jumped on top of me; this time on the lower waist. Ouch! Ms. Peach needs to loose some weight. "G-Get off of me you f-fein!. You fat cow!"

     "Never!" She cried as she moved back and forth, efficiently crushing my body. All this movement made me worried as a nasty looking tear began to form on my leg. Her skin rubbed against it, widening it each second. Soon her green leaf caught on a loose thread near my tear, opening the it more. This was more pain than I could handle. My beautiful white stuffing began to seep out at an unnatural rate. It also mixed with the peach juices, turning it orange and sorry. I let out a guttural moan, trying to claw my way to freedom.

     The loss of stuffing... I began to feel week. I blacked out just as Ms. Peach crushed my head.

     "Do do dee do. Fixing up the shed. Do do dee do." Big Mac walked down to his room where he left his prized possessions. He pushed open the door, only to be greeted by a big surprise. "S-Smartypants?"

     The carcass of the grey doll lay; stuffing, drool, and peach juice strewn everywhere. There was a large gash on Smartypant's neck from the leg to the neck. But for some reason, a peach was on top of it. How did it move there? Applebloom, Granny Smith, or Applejack never come in his room.

     Oh well. He'll ask Rarity to fix up Smartypants later. He picked up the peach, noticing the gashes. "Weird." He ate the peach, mashing it up with his big molars. For half a second, maybe even less, a intsy bitsy scream was heard. The doll weakly, just barely clinging on to life, looked up. The peach was gone. Big Mac was his again.

     "Justice is served." She blacked out again.