stories of questionable relevance

by LunaticHell

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 1561

This is going to be a series of short stories, every chapter will revolve around another story, sometimes set in entirely different locations and/or time.

Different characters in different situations. All around, in and above equestria, maybe even below.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-18 15:55:28 UTC

A day in the diamond light

This story takes place in the near future of equestria, the cutie mark crusaders grew up into fine young mares, going their separate ways in life with lots of work to do. Today is, on the other hoof, not one of these days. The sun was barely even raised by our beloved Princess Celestia to start another mild summer day and already there's a cloud of trouble over the Carousel Boutique, home to Rarity and Sweetie Belle.

"But I don't want to go." said Sweetie Belle, while begrudgingly packing her bags.

Rarity turned to her little sister, took a deep breath and, while trying to stay calm, explained "I've already told you a thousand times, Sweetie Belle, Diamond Tiara is an important business partner of mine. I display her jewellery and she makes sure to send customers from Canterlot to Ponyville, who are looking for a perfect dress to go with the jewellery."

With that said, Sweetie Belle showed her big sister her best scrunchie face she could pull off and tried to start again "But Diamond Tiara..." when she was interrupted by Rarity "Listen, Sweetie Belle, you are a grown up mare now, you might wanna behave like one for change." With that said, the two unicorn sisters made their way to the train station to fetch a train to the ruins of Canterlot, where the changelings build their newly found empi- I mean to the still very much not fallen Canterlot with the still very much alive Princess Celestia ruling.

At the same time in Canterlot, a young earth pony mare left her workshop. "Mare's best Friend" is the name of said shop and it's owner designs and sells the most beautiful jewellery in all of Canterlot. The mare's name is Diamond Tiara and true to her name, she wears a Diamond Tiara on top of her head.

She was making her way to the well known restaurant "Cake Walk", a place where her best Friend Silver Spoon works.

Upon arriving at the restaurant the two best friends preformed their secret hoof shake "Bump, bump, sugar-lump rump."

the two mares laughed out loud and Silver Spoon gave Diamond Tiara a warm hug "Happy Birthday" the silver mare said to her. Silver Spoon then escorted her childhood friend to the special birthday table, Rarity and a very grumpy Sweetie Belle who was visibly trying to show her best side already waited alongside a cake and a couple of glasses filled with zap apple cider. Very much to Sweetie Belle's surprise the party was joined by Applejack, Applebloom and Pinkie Pie, because let's face it, no party would be complete without Pinkie Pie, duh.

After a bit of birthday party-ing, Diamond Tiara finally took herself some time to talk to Sweetie Belle, the only pony who still could not forget all the bad things the cutie mark crusaders had to go through because of the mare with the Diamond Tiara on her head.

"I would never imagine you of all ponies would seriously show yourself to my special day." Diamond Tiara said half in surprise, half in mockery. She then she added "Where is your friend, the flightless chi-" before she was interrupted by a very angry Sweetie Belle screaming "Her name is Scootaloo, you Diamond Bit-" this was, for reason of censoring and to  keep it's rating 'for everyone' interrupted by Rarity and Silver Spoon. Close call, ponies.

The two ponies separated Sweetie Belle and Diamond Tiara, before the situation could escalate quickly.

Applebloom and Rarity took care to calm down Sweetie Belle, Applejack and Silver Spoon took care to calm down Diamond Tiara and Pinkie Pie took care to raise the spirit of forgiveness with a song.

It failed.

"Ya all think a lit singin' and dancin' will get those two ponies resolvin' a years ol' conflict? "Applejack honestly asked the pink party pony. Pinkie Pie shrugged and asked back "Not singing a song didn't work, either, so it's only fair to still sing a song, no?" Pinkie Pie then added "If laughter can't resolve the problem, why not laugh for laughter's sake, instead?" with a smile. Applejack shook her head, with a sigh she said "What we need right now is a lot of talkin' and maybe a lot of more time to get this under control, all the frustration they brought each other in those years only breed more misery in their lives, if not for each other, they should be doin' it for themselves."

In the meantime, Applebloom and Silver Spoon took some time to discourse, Silver Spoon spoke her mind "From the day Diamond and Rarity started working together, I was tasked to keep Sweetie Belle from interfering. At first I would only make sure for the meeting to not be in the same place as Sweetie Belle was, but after a while I got curious and...we...I and Sweetie Belle, we began to speak about the situation." Silver Spoon paused to give a deep sigh, she continued "After all the years I only managed for her to hate you three ponies a little less, but this hate is nagging on her...did I fail as her friend?" she asked a very confused Applebloom with teary eyes.

Applebloom took herself some time to respond, she opened her mouth a few times for a reply...and nothing but air came out. She then started by stating the most reasonable respond possible "What?", that's the best she could come up with, before she actually began her reply "Ah didn't even know you would...I thought you were..." she sighed, before starting anew "Know what? Ya all don't seem to be as bad as ah remember and no, ya haven't been failin' as a friend, we just need ah lil more horse power to get that thin' goin'", she then grinned at Silver Spoon while reachin' out with ...*ahem*

while reaching out with her hoof, she said "Ah'll be more than happy to help ya out."

Silver Spoon grabbed the hoof, this felt like a new start, defiantly this could be the begin of the end for this silly conflict.

4th wall breaker!

The city of Cloudsdayle, home of the majestic airborn ponies called "pegasi" and especially Rainbow Dash, whose speed is only rivaled by her loyalty to her friends.

Will her speed be rivaled by somepony else? Will a fateful encounter by a blue hedgehog or or a man in a bright red suit take the first place from our rainbow racer?

...NO, because this is not going to be that kind of a story, also Rainbow will not be in the center of it, anyway - much to her distress... 'cause we all know how happily she would take the spotlight, don't we?

On this bright and sunny day in Cloudsdayle, an entirely different pegasus mare leaves her house for a little shopping in ponyville,

since that is where they make her favorite muffins and she's always so happy when she sees the bright glowing eyes when she returns with said muffins to her lovely daughter called Dinky.

On the way to said shop, also known as Sugarcube Corner, she encounters lots of different ponies from lots of different parts of equestria, Lyra and Bonbon are sitting in the park, Doctor Whooves and Rosebud are trying to fix the TARDIS, Rainbow Dash is sleeping on a tree and the cutie mark crusaders are covered in tree sap for the fourth time this week, a fairly normal day in ponyville.

She steps inside the shop of sugary goodness and gets greeted by a pink mare with really fluffly pink fur and there's also Pinkie Pie, the shop assistant and part-time baker, waving at the camera as if she'd see us.

"Gooood Morning, Derpy and a goooood morning to all readers", the Pink pony squeaks in delight "What can I get you?"

she then asks the gray mare called Derpy.

"Today I will try the light lime muffins", the pegasus mare says in a jokingly daring tone.

[For the readers: "Light lime muffins" are muffins with pieces of orange with a lime colored frosting, giving it an interesting sour kick, combined with the sweetness of the sweet oranges it's perfect.]

Now that lunch is settled, she moves...

"Wait a second", says Pinkie Pie "Is that all the attention I get in the story?"

Sorry, Pinkie Pie, but this story is about Derpy, we'll get you back in the story later, okay?

"Okay, but only if I get at least two more shots at the fourth wall, a bucket full of chocolate pudding, three AA batteries, a pump action shotgun and empty shotgun cartridges to fill with chocolate pudding.", the pink mare demands.

Anyway, the gray pegasus then moved on to Carousel Boutique, to get her dress fixed, to the Apple Farm, for apples and to the golden oak castle, where formerly a great and beautiful tree stood, to place a few flowers on a small memorial build for that one special tree where our Princess Twilight Sparkle learned so many things about the Magic of Friendship.

"Awwwww" says a certain Pink Pony, while breaking the 4th wall, again, "this part always tears me up.", she wipes a couple of tears out of her face, gives a slight cough and says "please continue".

[to be continued]