The Peach Has Been Spiked!
Late Night Peach Cravings
"It's beautiful..."
Spike held in his claws a small yellowish-red fruit unlike any he had ever seen. It smelled of ripened harvest fields and felt like a smooth mustache in his palms. Spike had seen the wonder fruit before, it was called a peach. And Twilight loved her peaches! So much so, that she secluded her entire stash deep in the confines of the kitchen away from 'snooping claws' she had said.
"Stupid barriers! Stupid Twilight, hiding her glorious treats from me!" Spike said indignantly. He didn't believe Twilight was dumb in any way, but her lack of ability to share left that in question. "All I want is one peach! And now, it's here in my claws!" Spike made to bite the fruit when it was yanked from his hand. "No! So close!"
"Sorry, Spike, but you'll ruin your appetite. Besides, these are my peaches, and I need them to...uh...experiment on! Yeah!" Twilight looked nervously from side to side, glancing between the small dragon and the bowl of peaches on the counter.
"Yeah, yeah. I heard you. Go do your...whatever you do. See you later..." Spike walked out of the room and slammed the door to the bedroom. The echo made Twilight jump in shock.
"Oh no, now I've upset him! Well he should know better than to touch my peaches." Twilight grabbed a peach and savored the feel of it in her magic, examining its surface for blemishes. Satisfied, Twilight took a large bite. "Mmm! Oh my...these peaches never tasted so good!" Twilight hummed happily to herself as she returned her peach stash to its proper place: the cabinet behind the fridge. One would normally question why there was a cabinet behind one's fridge, but Twilight Sparkle was never one for normalcy. The spell sealing her bounty away, she turned and left the room.
She was unaware of the pair of eyes that followed her as she completed her treasure keeping, watching every move. A pair of draconic eyes, to be exact. Spike stepped into the kitchen once he was sure Twilight had gone back to her studies.
"Now to just open this...and...Gotcha!" The cabinet flicked into view once Spike exposed the barrier with his dragonflame. He leaped forward and grasped the handle to the cabinet before the spell's shield regenerated. He had to be quick, one wrong move, and his deeds would not go unpunished this time. Spike masterfully snatched the bowl of peaches from the cabinet just as the barrier fell back into place. Re-arranging the room to normal, Spike ran for the nearest closed room, the bathroom, with his peachy prize in tow.
He had succeeded! The Peach-Menace was defeated, and Spike would get to experience the wonders of the peach. One short moment later, and Spike found himself staring once again into the eye of perfection. The fruit gradually approached his mouth, his tongue could already feel the euphoria that was to be expected from such a delicacy. Spike chomped down hard, and recoiled when his jaws slammed together, no peach between them. In front of him, however, was the only wrench in his plan's gears: Twilight.
"SPIKE! How many times do I have to say it?! Stay! Out! Of! My! Peaches!" Twilight was fuming mad, her eyes having become small slits as her brow furrowed more than it had ever before.
Spike was terrified. His best friend and sister was furious at him for trying to sate his hunger. "But Twilight! I'm just so hungry! Can't I have just one?" Spike pleaded with the mare, begging with the Face Of A Thousand D'AWWW's.
He had picked up the technique from the CMC, and it worked, oh how it worked!
But Twilight wasn't budging. She levitated out a small sapphire gem from her bag in the corner of the room. "Spike. I got you this today, but seeing as somedragon can't keep his claws under control, I'll have to keep this with me for now!" Twilight huffed, and turned her head up and away from her Number One Assistant. "I'll let you have one once Peach Fuzz restocks, but for now, these are the last peaches in Ponyville! I treasure them as you do gems, Spike! Please, can you respect my boundaries and leave my glorious golden treasures for me and me alone? That is all I ask." Twilight sat down, feeling drained of energy. Luckily, she knew just the thing.
*Chomp* Twilight bit in, savoring the decadent fruity texture and flavor that was driving her taste buds into an ecstasy filled with rainbows. "Oh..mmm!" Twilight once again placed her peaches in the cabinet, a failsafe barrier added to the front line. "There! That should ensure you can't get to my peaches!" Twilight found herself laughing maniacally, something she was not akin to do. She quieted immediately. "You'll understand some day, Spike. Believe me." Twilight winked and bade the dragon good night.
"Oh, and Spike?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't get any ideas, I have that spell set to wake me if it breaks! I'll know if you do it too." Twilight added sternly.
"Okay, okay! I won't touch your drug stash! Take it easy Twi', sheesh!" Spike rounded the kitchen corner and began to walk up the steps. A faint *pop* could be heard from the kitchen, the sound of a small teleport spell. He turned quickly and ran back to the kitchen. "Twilight! I think something happened to your peaches!" Spike called up the stairs.
"Don't tell me you-" Twilight began but stopped when she saw the troubled look on her assistant's face. She descended the stairs and moved the fridge aside again. She deactivated the spell matrix and opened the cabinet to find it bare! No bowl of peaches, no peaches in said bowl, gone! Where could they have gone? "I...I don't even know! What got past my spell?" Twilight began scanning for magical residues, but couldn't find a trace.
A loud belch sounded through the library, but Twilight paid it no mind.
"Why me?" Twilight wailed.
"Yay me!" Spike cheered.
"Spike, it's not nice to let your anger cloud your-" Twilight gasped at the sight before her, it could not be possible! Spike had the bowl of peaches in his arms, and was greedily stuffing one into his mouth. "Spike! Those are mine!" She cried in shock. Who would do such a thing? How did Spike get the peaches in the first place? "H...How?"
"I dunno, Twi', I just burped it up! Puff of flame and *poof!* peach bowl. If I had to guess, I'd wager on Discord. Sounds like him to cause you stress!" Spike chewed on his third peach, Twilight watching her supply fly down the dragon's throat with unease.
"That doesn't sound like Discord at all! Why would he HELP you?" Twilight was frantic. Spike half expected to enact the S.P.I protocols set in place after the Smarty Pants Incident.
"Well, then who?" Spike mused, over the chomping of his meal. "Wow! No wonder you love these so much, Twi'! They're really really good! Like, sapphires, but with a mix of ruby and emerald! It's delicious!" Spike smiled for the first time that day, and it caught Twilight by surprise.
"Well, I guess I can make an exception for you, Spike, next time we re-stock, I'll grab a bushel for you." Twilight put a leg around Spike, hugging him softly. "I'm sorry, Spike, I shouldn't have denied you from the wonders of the peach! Can you ever forgive me?" Twilight looked down, saddened that she almost drove her Number One Assistant away over her peach addiction. Twilight swore the farmers grew the peaches with aphrodisiacs.
"Well, do you have any idea why my peaches suddenly disappeared? Or why there were two missing from the bowl when you got it back?" Twilight stared at the bowl, that fact hadn't popped into her mind before now. There were two peaches missing from the start! That meant the culprit took some for themselves!
Just then, Spike doubled over in pain, releasing a loud belch moments later. With the burst of flame came a small, hoof-written note. Twilight could not believe her eyes! The real culprit behind her Peach Theft was the Princess herself!
"What's it say, Twilight?" Spike looked up at his mentor inquisitively.
She frowned, facing Spike with a sad expression. "Oh, Spike, it was Celestia. She was trying to teach me a lesson about sharing...And I've learned it the hard way. Her terms were very clear..." Twilight trailed off, lost in thought. The note fell to Spike's feet. He lifted it and gazed at the scant few lines written in shaky hoof-writing. The note smelled faintly of the Royal Chambers, with a hint of peach.
Spike read the note, then flipped it over. He smiled when he saw the message Celestia had left him:
Dearest Spike,
If it is peaches you crave, then let me reward you with this bowl of the delectable fruits, straight from Twilight's kitchen. My sister and I were just regaling each other of the latest peachy events in Ponyville. It seems the small fruit has taken the town by storm!
Why does nopony grow peaches? No matter, it will change.
I, Princess Celestia, hereby grant Spike the Dragon access to the Royal Orchards for a peachy day endeavor any time he wishes. No Twilight's allowed!
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia.
PS. This is Luna, send more funny stories of the 'Peachening' at once! We desire to roll in laughter over the shenanigans of your interesting little town. We particularly liked your tale 'Twilight Eats A Peach'!
PPS: Spike, do NOT let Twilight have any more peaches. That way there's more for us both!
Author's Note
I regret nothing. I expect nothing either!
Let my mind run its course, the torture will end soon enough.
