Millions of Peaches... just one for me.
Princess Twilight Sparkle Eats Peach
By: Wanderer D
Because: To hell with it.
It was a warm and charming morning, as all mornings were when witnessed from the high towers of the castle.
Little had threatened the realm since their heroes had defeated that disproportionate lizard or any of the random little things that attacked it, from nightmares to creatures capable of turning into someone else.
But alas, peace was not meant to last. With a cracking boom that broke just about every window in the palace, the sky split apart, a violet-red vortex of energy forcing it’s way through reality itself, creating tornados and blasting trees and citizens through the air.
The princess stared in utter incomprehension as the first purple limb, looking like a titanic, monstrous furry tube, it slid through the crack while muffled-yet-loud noises that she recognized as voices seemed to pound against the very sky in alien urgency.
More cracks, and it seemed as if the sky itself were made of glass, for pieces crashed onto the ground, destroying the little houses of her subjects as the limb, enveloped in that same violet-red energy pushed to the side, creating an even larger gap as something… ballooning followed. Purpple and pink strands of… hair… as thick as the towers of the castle themselves billowed in the winds of the dying world as purple orbs as large as oceans scanned the world below them.
The...thing… roared something that disintegrated the nearest beings and reality around it, but the castle was far enough for the princess to understand what it was bellowing…
“PEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAACHHHHHHHHHH!”
Princes Peach gulped, turning around and walking into her bedroom, before closing the curtains behind her. Perhaps after she drank some tea, the thing would be gone. Maybe… maybe Mario would come to the rescue.
“Um… Toad?” She called delicately.
The door banged open and Toad himself ran in. “Yes princess?! Do you have a plan?”
“Yes! Please call Mario and Luigi and have them dispose of the interdimensional monstrosity.”
Toad blinked. “Um, they already are trying, your highness. I gave them a sack of stars so that they could stand a chance.”
“Oh!” Princess Peach smiled, her hand shaking slightly as a tremor in the distance an a roar that sounded disturbingly just like her name shook the room. “That’s splendid! They should be done soon an—”
Something red burst through the window, spinning in multi-colored light until it smashed onto one of the several marble pillars that decorated the room.
“Mama-mia!” Mario groaned as he slid down. “That-a-thing! It is a-too much! Come mi occupo di questo, senza uccidere unicorno o senza il mondo viene distrutto?”
“Are you using a translating mushroom?”
“What? I am not really Italiano! I just vaguely sound like one!” Mario groaned, shaking his head.
His eyes widened and he ducked to the side before the green meteor that turned out to be Luigi smashed into him, letting his brother taste the cold spice of marble pillar instead.
“What does it want!?” Mario asked, glancing out side as the gigantic unicorn-creature smashed the world in it’s route to the castle.
“PEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCHHHHH!”
“I think it wants the princess!” Toad offered helpfully.
The plumbers looked at the Princess.
“Princess a-Peach,” Mario started. “Maybe, you might a-want to talk to the unicornio.”
Princess Peach glared at the plumber. “Why don’t you stop it first and then I can reason with it from a position of power?”
“PEEEEEEEEAAAAAAACH!”
“Princess,” Toad begged. “Please! For your kingdom!”
“Ugh,” Princess Peach put down her china. “Fine.”
She stood up and regally walked to the balcony, violently opening the doors and stepping out, right into the sight of the unicorn, who stopped and regarded her with an oddly twitchy expression.
There was a moment of silent contemplation, interrupted by the sounds of alarms, screams and pieces of sky falling around them.
“Creature!” Princess Peach called. “I am Princess Peach! You came looking for me! What do you need?”
The unicorn started salivating and revealed previously hidden wings as she opened them wide, obscuring the world around them. “PEEEAAAACCCCHHH!”
o.0.o
Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom huddled against the wall while the tv in front of them echoed with the screams of dying toadstools and plumbers. The discarded controllers twitched and rumbled with each resounding crunch and plea for mercy until all was silent.
The screen shuddered and through the violet portal, Twilight Sparkle’s hooves pushed out, followed by the rest of her body.
With a flick of her tail, she turned off the TV and the WeeUnicorn system.
“Well, girls, you were right!” Twilight giggled. “Playing this game was fun! I had never attempted an interdimensional spell straight into a game, but it was very educational!”
The three fillies nodded dumbly, still staring at Twilight, who coughed and burped out a little tiara that landed on the floor and bounced up to them. They tried to scramble back away from it.
“Oops!” Twilight giggled again. “Sorry, girls! Eating peaches sometimes makes me burpy. I do apologize!”
The Crusaders nodded dumbly once more.
“Well,” Twilight said, giving them an odd look. “I think I’ll get ready for bed.” Her eyes lit up. “Heeey! If you learned a lesson today, you should write it down and send it to Princess Celestia!”
The Crusaders nodded once more.
o.0.o
Sipping her tea, Celestia prepared to relax and finally forget the challenges of the day. Thankfully, her sister could handle the night-owls
She smiled benevolently when a message poofed in front of her.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Twilight has a problem. A very scary, unhinged problem.
~Sweetie Belle (Sniff)
~Apple Bloom (Ever so glad to be an Apple and not a Peach)
~Scootaloo (Please don’t ever let us stay the night here again!)
Celestia raised an eyebrow, until another scroll poofed into existence in front of her.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I discovered that playing videogames with the Crusaders is really fun and conducive to new experiences! Not only is it a wonder of technology, it actually inspired me to try an inter-dimensional spell! Who knew peaches in other worlds were so crunchy and chewy!
Your Faithful Friend,
~Princess Twilight Sparkle
The End
