Breaking Babs
Written by Almar Zewizard.
This story is my first attempt at what people call a fanfiction, so it will be not that great. (At least for now.) Please post any and all criticism in the comments. They are very much appreciated.
-Almar Zewizard
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*Everything that is italicized is the Mane/Main character thinking*
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Chapter 1 — Waking up.
Day 1-Marsday/Monday
Oklahoma City,Oklahoma
8:05 AM
I hate my dreams. They always start with something like, ‘You're having an amazing time eating sandwiches and you're dancing with beautiful women, or men. There is no reason to keep your sexyness to one gender.’ Then the cheerful charade is dropped. ‘Your heart is being ripped out, but don’t worry; you're not going to pass out because of the pain or blood loss — no, you’ll become a pile of flesh and blood before that ever happens.’ So, in other not so ‘heart-rippy-outty’ words, they're a little messed up.
But my dream from last night was surprisingly different and didn’t involve me losing a limb. This dream, for lack of a better word, was not as bat shit insane as the others. Instead of my normal death and pain dreams, this one was nice and peaceful, or it was until something similar to a beach and an elevator showed up. Hell, from what I can remember, the elevator had something in it. Something like a person, or the worst thing that no man, woman, or really weird child could imagine. A magical pony from Equestria. But I digress, these dreams have always plagued me ever since—
My alarm’s shrill sound interrupts my monologue.
‘Stupid alarm clock…’ I move to switch it off, as quickly as my groggy muscles can manage — which is not very fast.
*Beep Beep Beep* the alarm continues to scream.
‘Why can’t it be Saturday or just Sunday…dang it, I don’t want to go to work today.’
I would kill for a Saturday night right about now. I don’t necessarily hate Mondays. I have to get up for work but I don’t want to. Despite being my own boss at a small PC repair company, TouchScreen Touch Ups, and I could set the hours for whatever I want, but that doesn't change anything. Makes me want to reschedule the whole day. To never. However, being the boss, I’m slightly needed early in the morning to unlock the door. If only I could do that from my bed.
‘Freaking jobs and their intrusion on my daily life.’
I lay on my bed, which is something I do far too often, and listen while my alarm goes through its beeping process. I stretch out my arms and open my eyes, ready to take on this damn day.
'Why does everything seem a lot larger today?’
I ignore my thoughts, which in retrospect, was a poor decision. Rolling quickly off the bed in an attempt to force myself awake, I am suddenly met with the floor.
*THUD!*
"Ouch… That hurt." I pick myself up and run my fingers through my hair, which would be better to say 'tried to' because I couldn't feel a thing. "That's just…wait, what's up with my voice?"
‘Why is my voice so… feminine and young and from the Bronx?’
“What—!” I quickly cover my mouth to stifle my outburst.
‘What the hell is this! Why is this—’
My freakout slows to a stop and my heart sinks into my stomach as two brownish blurs appear in my vision.
‘No… No no no… What is this!?’
I release my grip and yell to no one, “What are those!?”
I quickly run… and *THUD!*
I fall right on my face… Wow, this just isn’t my morning.
‘What… Wait… What's up with my feet?’
Below me lay unfamiliar limbs, burnt orange in color and equine in species. I twitched a muscle, and my left “arm” moved in response. The streamlined leg apparently ended in a hoof, as the solid clop resounded off my hardwood floors. I pulled my head around in inspection of my new four limbs, each splayed out in the four cardinal directions. And I have no clue how to amend that. My legs are alien to me as I try to pull them underneath my body in preparation of standing. This proves unsuccessful, as I fall clumsily to the floor again.
‘Jesus Christ, this better be a dream,' I think, exasperated, as I struggle again to control the muscles in this quadrupedal body. Out of breath, I manage to stand, unsteadily, in the middle of my familiar room. My perspective is distorted; my usual 5’8’’ height suddenly changed to 3’.
‘Okay, there is only one way to find out if this is a dream,’ I think as I lift my new appendage, which was my right arm, up to my face, hitting myself in the jaw. My body collapses from the shock of the punch, and my head bounces off the bed frame, sending pain throughout the rest of my figure.
‘Oh no, no no no! This is real!’ I look over to my equine limb, a red smudge covering the end of the hoof.
“Why did I do that!?” I yell at myself, as I slowly rise from the wood floor. I look back down to my blood speckled hoof and then to my bedroom door, ”Bathroom… I should really bandage this up.”
I rush over to the door, which was easier said than done, and stop instantly…
‘How am I going to open my door...’ I ponder, eye-level with the doorknob. "Just how am I going to...? My mouth, I'll use my mouth..."
I reach up to the door handle, but sadly no matter how much grunting, yelling of the word 'Blurg', or praying to the great horse god in the sky, I'm just two inches too short to reach. "Gaah, How am I going to do this?"
“Okay, door, I’m not in the mood for your sh—... I’m talking to a door, I must have hit myself harder than I originally thought.”
I scan the door, and the rest of my room, for a way out for a couple of minutes. I realized that my bedroom door seemed just a bit off.
“Wait…” I bring up a hoof and push on the door and it opens with a slow squeak.”You've got to be kidding me, the door was open the entire time.”
I slowly walk out into the hallway, over to the bathroom, bursting in and immediately being blinded by all of the pink pastel hues. ”Gaah! My eyes!”
My body stumbles into the bathroom as I cover my eyes with one of my burnt orange hoofs, which is easier said than done, and slam into the sink.”Okay, now what should I do?"
I look back down to my blood smudged hoof and instantly remember why I'm even in the bathroom. "Bandages, over the sink and behind the mirror."
I bring myself up to the sink and freeze. What laid before my eyes was something that I thought I'd never see staring right back at me. The thing that resigned in my gaze was very equine and small, its eyes unnaturally large and green, and it's hair short, bright and raspberry. Three freckles lay on each side of my face near the edge of my small mouth almost in a odd pattern. I bring up my chin and notice a small bloody cut. "Really...that's not as bad as I originally thought. Hell, I bet I don't even need to patch it up."
"So, what am I?" is the question that runs throughout my mind as I lower myself back down to the floor.
"Okay. I'm a small horse, I'm very cartoonish looking, and I can still talk… So that makes me a..."
"My Little Pony, a fourth generation one. Thank god that I am, just thinking about being turned into three point five Scootaloo makes me shudder." I say walking out into the hall and down into the living room. "Now, which pony am I? Well, I'm not one of the mane six." I canter over to the couch and climb up clumsily. ”I better not be some sort of terrible OC.”
I hope my roommate doesn't see me like this, she would fly off the metaphorical handle, and I wouldn't blame her. If I saw a small cartoon horse relaxing on my couch I would be going bananas right about now.
The extraordinary sound of Janet’s door opening along with the sounds of footsteps emerge from the hallway.
My small body instinctively reacts to the sound as it gets closer and closer. My races in my chest as the source approaches.
'Oh no, she's going to see me and freak out, chasing me out of here with a knife and calling the army… or a priest. Yeah, that one sounds more likely to happen than the army breaking down my door.'
"Hey, Colton." My roommate says right before walking into the kitchen.
'That went better than I first expected.' I look down at my body; I've curled up into a ball.
After a few minutes of giggling, cheering, singing, and other various ways to show excitement she comes back and stops right in the doorway. "How are you feeling today?"
I look over to her and feel a smile make its way onto my face. "I'm just feeling a little hoarse today, but I should be fine. This should pass right on over soon."
She stares straight at me for an uncomfortable second before breaking into a giggle fit.
"Janet, it really wasn't that funny." I say as I hop onto the end of the couch, my new body makes a sound that I can only describe as 'adorable' as I miss and land on my cute little face.
Her giggle fit subsides and becomes a smile. "Oh my god, you so cute!" Janet says, much like a crazed fan girl, as she walks up and reaches out for a hug.
"No, hugs are a negatory." I say returning to my feet— I mean hoofs.
"Okay." She says with a look of 'broken dreams' on her face.
"You can get a hug later… maybe. Right now I want to know something."
"What's that?” she asks, as calm as can be, with a small, pleasant smile.
"Why aren't you freaking out right now? Besides the whole 'hug' and 'giggling' thing, which is very tame and professional of you. If I saw something like this I'd question all life, the universe, and everything in between. Wait no, I'm already doing that because I apparently have been turned into a pony… I don't know how or why. Normally someone would be running around screaming 'Nope!' until they run face first into a wall, that's if they were in my shoes but no—"
"You need to calm down, I'm fine. And besides, I’ve been reading the news, stuff like this is happening all over the place."
"What?"
"I’ll tell you later — or just turn on the news, yourself. Right now, I need to take a shower and need to get ready for later… And so do you." She grabs my laptop and sets it down in front of me.
"What do you mean ‘Stuff like this is happening all over the place?’ And why do I need to get ready?"
"Because we need to pick up someone at the airport."
"That really doesn't answer any of my questions; who? Why are we picking up someone?"
"I'll tell you more about it in the car, till then you should look up what's going on with out there in the world.”
"I don't think I can, hoofs aren't the most dexterous of things for typing on a keyboard." I gesture with my hoofs.
"I know they're not, but if I talked to someone online who is going through the same thing as you, then I assume it’s possible."
Okay, I going to go take my shower now." Janet gets up and walks off to the bathroom.
I stare at my laptop with another question running around my mind.
'Okay… How am I going to use my laptop?'
I guess I'm pretty lucky that both the laptop is open and has Google Chrome already running, but still I have absolutely no clue how to use this thing.
I bring a hoof over the keyboard. On the screen, Fggudhugjyfooreesseruvhoki appears in the address bar.
‘Okay, that's not going to work… wait my laptop has both a microphone and voice recognition software.’ "I have been turned into a pony… What do?" I say after turning on the voice software.
The program loads trying to read my new voice, which is something I should've accounted for while using this search device.
"Oh, don't rush or anything. It's not like I'm in a hurry… or that I've been changed into a filly, which is something that I thought I'd never say let alone hear from my voice… Well, it's not my voice but I really don't care. Oh, for the love of all that is holy, hurry the hell up!" I noticed my train of thought diverting as I impatiently tapped my hoof on the laptop keyboard.
Finally, after the longest four minutes of relatively short but event-filled life, the program somehow figured out my voice. ‘Thank the great horse god… Which I guess I should be saying, 'Thank Celestia,' That is more appropriate for this situation.’
I bring up the search bar and paste my pony question. The number of related results were surprising, but the results themselves were something from a fairy tale.
<><><>To be continued in chapter 2<><><>
