Chapters The Other Draconiquus - Story 2: Bite of the Changeling
Princess Twilight Sparkle woke up after having a very familiar dream. It was a dream that she remembered having repeatedly back when she was a little filly. In this dream, she had a foalsitter, who was a draconiquus, like Discord, and was responsible for giving her the very dragon egg that brought her number one assistant, Spike, into her life. But why was she having it again now, on this day in particular? The day before her wedding.
Tomorrow would be the happiest day of her life. The day that she would marry the pegasus stallion, Flash Sentry. It had been just over a year since she first met him. Or rather, she met his human parallel universe self, anyway. She was very excited for the big day.
Although she was still living in Ponyville, she and her friends were staying for a week in Canterlot Castle, preparing for the big day.
She got up from her bed and headed into the bathroom for a shower. After washing her mane and the rest of her body, she got out, and dried off. She then attempted to wake up her sleeping baby dragon, Spike. “Time to wake up, Spike,” she said to him, while nudging his head with her muzzle.
Spike groaned in response.
An idea came to Twilight. “Spike! I’m making sapphire gemstone pancakes!”
Spike jumped out of his makeshift basket bed, with an eager grin on his face. “Oh boy! I’ll have twelve!” The grin faded when he heard Twilight giggling, and he realized that he’d just been trolled.
“Come on, Spike. We only have today left until the big day, and we still have a lot to do beforehand.” She and Spike went downstairs for breakfast.
They had a rather rushed breakfast, followed immediately by going over Twilight’s checklist of everything needed to be done by that day’s end. They visited Applejack in the kitchen, creating the baked goods (except for the cake, which was being delivered by Mr. and Mrs. Cake); Rainbow Dash, who, just like with Shining Armor’s wedding, was practicing to perform a Sonic Rainboom as Twilight and Flash kissed; Rarity, who had just completed Twilight’s wedding dress; and Fluttershy, who was having her birds practice to give the music for the event. Everything seemed to be going just perfect.
And then they checked on Pinkie Pie with the décor, and the day went downhill from there.
It wasn’t that Pinkie had somehow managed to destroy the place, or any other disaster. No. It was due to what seemed like a rather odd bit of decoration that Twilight had noticed in the corner of the room. A decoration that gave her an unnerving feeling of déjà vu.
“Pinkie, what’s with that blue box over there? It’s not like you,” she asked.
“I didn’t put any blue box in here, Twilight,” responded Pinkie Pie. “It just showed up there all of a sudden.”
“Pinkie, What do you mean, it just showed up all of a sudden?”
“Well, there was this weird draft, and this weird noise, like” (this was followed by a silly, yet accurate imitation of the vwooomp vwooomp noise that the Tardis makes) “and then that box just appeared out of nowhere. And afterward somepony stepped out of it.”
“Who, Pinkie? Who stepped out of it?”
As if, in answer to this question, a very familiar-looking draconiquus came into the room, heavily focused a very strange device, with a satellite dish attached to the end opposite of himself, that was constantly beeping. He walked forward towards Twilight and Pinkie, and slapped the device across the side, in frustration, exclaiming “Oh, you stupid thing!”
It was then that he looked up and noticed the two of them, standing there looking at him. “Ah. Hello, Princess Twilight Sparkle. And I take it that the other two are Pinkie Pie and Spike.”
“Yes,” responded Pinkie Pie.
“Hello, to both of you.”
“You know, most ponies lose their imaginary friend while they are still fillies. You should have a medal for being persistent,” Twilight Sparkle told L.
“I didn’t! I still have mine!” exclaimed Pinkie. She then gestured to the air next to her. “Say hello, Homey Sompson.”
There was silence from Homey Sompson.
"He says any imaginary friend of Twilight's is a friend of his!"
L waved at Sompson and gave him a thumbs up.
"Um, Twilight," said Spike. "He's not imaginary. I can see him, too."
"You can?" asked Twilight. "You mean, he was real all this time?"
"Apparently. What's his name?"
"That's just it, Spike. Unlike a real person, he doesn't even go by a name. Just an initial. I. No, was it J? Or T? Or-"
"L," said L.
"That's the one! L! He just goes by L!"
"When did you even meet him?" asked Spike.
"Don't expect me to answer that, Twilight," said L. "It hasn't happened for me yet. And don't say it either. I can't have any spoilers on my future events."
"What does he mean by that?"
"When I met him one night when my parents were away, he was my foalsitter for the night, and he told me that he was a time traveler, and that he knew quite a bit about my future, some of which has already come to pass. He showed up in that blue box over there. And he gave me the egg that became you, Spike. And then he- Would you please stop that?"
While Twilight was telling Spike and Pinkie what was obviously spoilers to him, he plugged his ears with his fingers, and was repeatedly saying: "La la la la la la la la..." He stopped, and said, "Sorry. One shouldn't know too much about future events. Even though you met me in the past, it is still the future for me. Don't say any more of it."
"Alright. Why are you here?"
"Because I had a certain tip that Queen Chrysalis is wanting revenge on you, and I figured that your wedding with Flash Sentry would be the most logical place and time in which she would do it. Basically, your brother's wedding fiasco all over again."
The Other Draconiquus - Story 2: Bite of the Changeling
Twilight’s mouth hung open in shock. “You don’t think that I’m Queen Chrysalis in disguise, do you?” she asked.
“Well, I have a way of finding out,” he said. He showed her the beeping device. “This is my own invention. It is a radar built to track down anything with changeling DNA in them. A changeling may be able to change its own appearance into just about any other species, but their genetic structure remains the same. Pinkie, Spike, stand back. And don’t worry, Twilight, it won’t hurt you.”
He held the device so that the radar dish was pointed directly at Twilight. The beeping slowed its pace. He stayed in that position for a moment and then said, “You’re clean. No trace of changeling on you.”
Pinkie and Spike sighed in relief. “Now I will have to check the other two, just to be safe,” said L. That relief was so brief.
He scanned Spike next, and then he said: “He’s clean. Needs a bath. But he’s clean.”
He then scanned Pinkie, and then exclaimed: “Pinkie! What the hay did you just do to my machine? It can’t determine just what in the hay you even are! It’s saying random species in which you clearly are not: Pikachu, vogon, Romulan, dog, dalek, Chuck Norris…”
“How could you think that I would do something like that?” exclaimed Pinkie. “I know that I’m a pony. Not a peek-a-boo, or a vogoth, or a momuin, or a dog, or a-”
“I get it. I believe you. The only reason I could think of in which it would be acting this way is if…”
“Is if, what?” asked Twilight, desperate to know what’s going on.
“It’s not important. What is important is that it proves she’s not a changeling. Anyway, come, you three. Let’s go track us down a changeling.”
They searched for the signal throughout Canterlot, the signal seeming to get hot and cold at seemingly sporadic moments. Eventually they ended up in the Canterlot gardens, as it seemed that they were finally closing in on their target.
They were shocked to find that their target turned out to be a very familiar-looking bunny.
“There you are, Queen Chrysalis!” he said. “You look rather cute for a bunny, but I know you have no concept of cute. I am L, Equestria’s secret time traveling protector, and I’m on to your plans for Princess Twilight and Flash. And you’re just a normal bunny, aren’t you?”
Angel Bunny nodded his head in annoyance, and then hopped off to join Fluttershy with the birds.
“Well, that just goes to prove it.”
“Prove what?” asked Twilight.
“It proves that this damn thing doesn’t work at all!” He tossed the changeling radar into the air behind him, intending to open a wormhole, to suck out of this universe, before it hit the ground and possibly hurt anypony.
Before it could reach the wormhole, however, an eagle claw reached out from behind a tree and caught it. “Oh, it’s you,” said the voice of the other draconiquus that Twilight and her friends knew.
L’s face became grim. He turned around and came face to face with Discord stepping out from behind the tree that was too small for him to hide behind. “It’s been a long time,” he said.
“Indeed, it has,” said Discord. “Yet it seems like it was only yesterday since our last meeting. Oh wait. It was! For you, anyway.”
“Actually it was three months ago from my own chronology. How have you been?”
“I’ve been really busy being stone. You know, after you aided Celestia and Luna in finding the Elements of Harmony to use on me. Snitched about my secret to them, too.”
“He did what?” exclaimed Pinkie Pie, now mad at L.
“What was I supposed to do? Stand back and watch them all go extinct because they worshipped somepony evil pretending to be a god? One who is in my clan’s arch-enemy clan?”
“Pretending to be a god?” asked Twilight.
“I’ve reformed since then,” stated Discord.
“And yet you still call yourself the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, and are still using the exact same alias as you had used before.”
“You mean to say, he’s not?” asked Spike.
“Let me make this easy on all of you. Discord and I are aliens from another world, all from the same species, the name of which is unpronounceable in any other language. But we are from enemy clans. The clans are all listed from A-Z, and each of them consist of exact duplicates of an original who went by the corresponding letter, all of them go by the letter of their clan, but some come up with aliases, like ‘Discord’ or ‘John Smith’. One of their powers is the ability to change their form, depending on whatever alien species they’re dealing with at the time. Discord is a Q. Qs use their powers to spread chaos and ruin to other worlds. I am, of course, an L. Ls use their powers to protect other words from chaos and ruin. That is the secret I revealed to Celestia and Luna two thousand years ago.”
“Oh, my!” came a shy voice from behind a bush.
“Fluttershy, were you listening in on that?” asked Discord, suddenly concerned with what the only friend he’d ever had would now think of him.
“No,” she said, sticking her head out from behind the bush. “I mean, yes. I mean, if you’re okay with that.” She ducked her head back behind the bush.
“So that’s the Fluttershy I had heard so much about,” said L.
“ ‘Heard so much about’? From who?” asked Twilight.
“Spoilers.”
"That's just his way of saying, 'I heard about it from you in the future'," said Discord.
"Pretty much."
"Well, if what you two are saying is true," said Twilight, "then L has more respect from me than you do, Discord."
Discord frowned upon this statement.
"I've just thought of something," said L. "I'm supposed to be Equestria's ally, and I am the arch-nemesis of Discord, but Discord is being trained to be Equestria's ally, too. Does that make me Equestira's enemy now? I'd be so pissed at Celestia if it does, after all I did for her in the past!"
This question made Discord's head spin. Literally. In fact, it came unscrewed, and fell to the ground. "Oomph! Could one of you lend me a hoof?" he asked as his body began to kneel down to find his head.
L ran up to Discord, and kicked his head like a soccer ball straight out of the castle gardens, and it flew towards the castle and crashed through the window of Princess Luna's tower. This is, of course, an impossible feat. "Mother of Eris*, that hurt!" exclaimed Discord's head, as he landed on Luna's bed. The head rolled over to see Princess Luna standing there, glaring at him. He hesitated before saying, "Princess Luna, I can explain."
Discord would not find his body again for another few days, finding out that it had decided to take a train to the Crystal Empire for the weekend. He would later comment, "I always suspected my body had a mind of its own. I guess I was right."
Back in the castle gardens...
"I not sure why I just did that," admitted L, seeing everyone just staring at him, instead of the headless draconiquus walking off to the Canterlot train station.
The Other Draconiquus - Story 2: Bite of the Changeling
They continued their search for the changeling, bringing Fluttershy along, despite her being frightened by the idea of being led by somepony the same species as Discord, or Q, as they now knew his true identity as, to find somepony even worse. They could be anypony in Canterlot.
Twilight suggested that they try to find Flash, logically deciding that, if the bride wasn’t Queen Chrysalis, then most likely, it would be the groom. L agreed to this, so they tried to find him, deciding the first place to look would be in the palace.
They eventually did find Flash in one hallway, but what he was doing made Twilight gasp. He was with another Twilight, who was giving him a kiss, having him backed up against a wall.
“Flash! I’m not me! I mean, that’s not me!” exclaimed the confused Twilight with L.
Flash Sentry’s eyes glanced over to her, with a look which read: “What in the shiblamers?” Before Flash could get away from the fake Twilight, she pulled away from his muzzle, showed her changeling fangs, and bit him on the neck. “Ow,” said Flash, in a very retarded tone, and fell to the ground.
Unlike his human counterpart, pegasus Flash Sentry was all muscle and no brains, which is the only reason he even got the job in the Royal Guard in the first place. He had nearly gotten fired after he arrested a child in a creepy mask for saying what he thought was an insult to his mummy. He often found himself unable to finish his sentences with proper words, and ends up speaking complete gibberish. It was the most improbable thing that Twilight would ever love somepony like that. In fact, it has now been discovered, that human Flash Sentry participated in an expensive science experiment, intended to increase the intelligence of retarded people, with a 1:2 rate of success. It succeeded for him, but in no way did it affect the Flash in Equestria. Bucking waifu stealer.
“Flash!” cried Twilight, running to him, worrying that changeling bites were poisonous.
The fake Twilight transformed into Queen Chrysalis.
“Wait hold on a second,” said Pinkie Pie. “Last time you imprisoned Cadence in the Canterlot caves before taking on her form! Why didn’t you do it this time around?”
“I was sneaking around putting on different disguises whenever guards showed up, looking for a place to hide in order to come out and kidnap you tonight, when Flash showed up, and I disguised as you by accident!” said Chrysalis. “Now my original plan is ruined, but my back up plan is now in effect!”
“Oh Chryssie-” said L.
“Nopony calls me ‘Chryssie’!” exclaimed Chrysalis.
“- it’s over. You’ve been found out. What plan do you think could possibly save your scheme now?”
“Twilight, I feel funny,” said Flash.
“Funny?” cried Pinkie Pie. “I feel funny all the time! Funny’s a good thing! I love feeling funny!”
“Funny, funny, how?” Twilight asked Flash.
“Oh, well, for one thing I have a strange sort of tingling sensation in my-” began Pinkie Pie, before everypony tuned her out.
“It feels like something is spreading through me from my neck,” said Flash.
Twilight looked at the bite and saw his fur around it was beginning to blacken. “Are you poisoned?” she asked.
L went over to Flash, and pointed his sonic screwdriver at his neck, and scanned his bite. “No, he’s not poisoned. He’s mutating.”
“Oooo,” said Pinkie Pie. “Is he going to get special spider powers and start swinging around from webs and start fighting crime, and become the Spiderpony? Is he-”
L snapped his fingers, and Pinkie’s mouth was gone. This was the third time in her life, since she met Twilight, that Pinkie has been unable to speak. “No offense, Pinkie,” he said, “but shut up! There are times and places to be funny and silly, but this is not one of them.”
“Tell me, L. What do you mean by mutating?” asked Twilight.
“It was said back in olden pony times: ‘One bitten by a changeling, themself becomes a changeling, and become devoid of love.’ Nightmare Moon wrote that one.”
It is curious to note that, before Nightmare Moon was Princess Luna’s evil alter ego bent on having nighttime last for all time, she was merely Princess Luna’s pseudonym, writing grim works, such as Mommy, There’s a Werepony in my Closet (a short story, which focused on the psychological aspects of being a little filly who imagines monsters in their room), that had been deemed too dark for the public’s view of a ruler of Equestria to be writing. Over the time in which Luna was writing under this name, she began to come up with an idea of what her alias would have been like, if she were real. That idea later became reality, when she developed split-personality syndrome. Moon was also quite furious when she found out that she wasn’t a real pony, and decided to make it nighttime for all time, because she was jealous of Celestia for being real.
“Oh, no!” cried Twilight. “Can’t you do anything about it, L?”
“No,” admitted L. “Only you two can. You have to fight it together with your love.”
“What a sentimental, yet absurd statement,” said Chrysalis, who is unable to love. She had a confident grin on her face.
“Oh, yeah?” said L. “Isn’t that what you said last time?”
Chrissie’s grin faltered.
“Oh, and before I forget, or you try to escape,” said L to her, “there’s something that you need to know. Something they have in my world that they don’t have in Equestria.”
“What’s that?”
He got very close up to her. “Insecticide spray.” He then whipped out a can and sprayed it into Chrysalis’s face. She began to cough, and grow weak. She fell to the ground with her legs sticking up in the air. L then snapped his fingers and chains formed around her body, locking her limbs together.
“She’s not dead,” he told the others. “Despite what the label reads, this isn’t insecticide.” He held the can out, and peeled off a false Bug-Off label, to reveal that it was actually a can of spray-on deodorant. “Let’s find out how long it takes her to realize she’s not dead.
“But, anyway,” he went back to Flash and Twilight. The blackness was spreading down his front right hoof. “What I need you to do, Flash, is to focus. Concentrate on your love for Twilight. Particularly a memory that shows it. One that is very strong. I have faith in you that you can do it.”
“Do you know for a fact that this can save him?” asked Twilight.
“I believe in miracles,” said L. “After all you’ve been through, don’t you believe in them as well?”
Twilight reflected on every time before that any danger had come into her life, there had always been some sort of miracle that saved the day, when all hope seemed lost. Yes, she believed in miracles. One will happen again. It has to. It just has to.
Twilight held Flash’s hoof in her own, and hoped for one.
“What are you thinking of Flash?” asked L, noticing that the blackness was still spreading.
“I’m thinking of the time in which I went to one of Pinkie’s parties with her,” he said. “She gave me the rest of my slice of cake, because I ended up getting such a small one by mistake.”
“Try something stronger than that, Flash,” said L.
“Twilight, do you remember that time we went to Cloudsdale together, and we ended up getting so lost, that we ended up having to stay outside in the cold. I stayed out there the whole time with you, trying to keep ourselves warm with each other’s body heat? I actually gave up my half of the food we’d had on us so that you wouldn’t starve.”
“Um, no, actually,” said Twilight. “I don’t remember that at all.”
“Huh, must have just been a dream then.”
“Okay, the Changeling transformation is getting dangerously close to being completed,” said L, noticing that one of Flash’s pegasus wings had just become a changeling wing. “Find something strong quick, Flash.”
Flash hesitated. "I can't. It's cold, so cold."
"We're losing him!" cried L.
"Flash, please don't give in! Please stay the way you are! Do it for me!"
"Mph mmhph mmimphuph!" attempted Pinkie Pie.
"Sorry, my love," was the last thing Flash said with the ability to love. Then he was a changeling. The transformation was complete.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Twilight, in tears.
The Other Draconiquus - Story 2: Bite of the Changeling
Twilight screamed: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" as Flash Sentry's mutation into a changeling was completed.
"Yes! YES!" exclaimed Queen Chrysalis, pretending to be unconscious, as she knew she wasn't dying from the moment that L mentioned that he only sprayed deodorant on her. "Now, my newest loyal subject, bite her neck, make her one of us!"
Before changeling Flash could get his fangs close enough to the neck of the mare standing on top of him, L pushed her off him. "No, let me stay with him!" she cried, tears streaming down her face.
"You can't save him, Twilight!" he exclaimed, holding her back. "Run! Just run! Run from him!" He picked her up and ran while carrying her throughout the castle, away from the two changelings.
Changeling Flash began flapping his bug wings, making a buzzing sound, went into the air and was about to chase after them, when Chrissie yelled at Flash, "Stop! Get me out of these first!" Flash flew down to her, and, using his newly grown changeling horn, he sliced open the ropes bonding her. They both then flew off after them.
"Um, excuse me, L," said Fluttershy, going as fast as she could bring herself to go.
"Yes?" asked L.
"I don't mean to interrupt..."
"You're not."
"... or to give Twilight something worse to think about through all of this, but..."
"Do get on with it, Fluttershy. What is it? It sounds important."
"Oh, well, I've never gotten a reaction like that from anypony when I try to inform them of something important before."
"That can't be what you were going to tell us."
"No, it isn't."
"Then what is it?"
"Well, they're changelings, right?"
"That's correct."
"Couldn't they just-"
"Hey, I just realized something," said Twilight, still crying. "Because they're changelings, they can be anyone inside this castle! By leaving then and there, we no longer know who's a changeling and who isn't!"
"That's what I was just going to say," said Fluttershy. "It happens every time."
"Don't worry, all of you," said L. "Although we won't know who Flash is, we will know who Chrysalis is. I've made sure of it."
"How could you have done that?" asked Spike.
"You'll see."
"MMmph mmmurmp mmhmhhhpmm?" asked Pinkie.
L was just about to respond by giving Pinkie back her mouth, when the whole group ran into Changeling Flash disguised as Flash Sentry, along with an undisguised Queen Chrysalis standing next to him. Apparently, while L, Twilight, Pinkie, Spike, and Fluttershy were fleeing from them, Flash and Chrysalis had gone around and captured Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Applejack, and were now holding them as hostages, covering their mouths.
“Surrender now,” said Chrysalis, “or we will make all three of them into changelings right now.”
“Noooo!” cried Twilight.
“No,” said L, pulling out from his coat a strange pastry with a red jelly center exposed. Twilight and the others were looking at him, wondering just what he was thinking, as he held it out to the changelings. “This is my Tardis self-destruct button. My Tardis just so happens to be inside Canterlot Castle at this very moment, down in the ballroom. The explosion it will produce will also blow up all of Canterlot and half of the mountain it rests on. You let them go, or I push this button and we all go up in flames.”
“Whaaaaaat?” exclaimed the others all at once.
“You’re completely mad!” exclaimed Twilight.
“That’s a good thing, too. Otherwise this plan would probably never work."
“You’d destroy us all, just to save these three?” asked Chrysalis.
“You bet your ugly abdomen, I will, Chryssie!” exclaimed L.
“Nopony-!”
“-calls you ‘Chryssie’. Yes, I heard you the first time. I’d stop calling you ‘Chryssie’, but ‘Chryssie’ is so much catchier, simpler, easier to spell, easier to remember, and far more easier to pronounce than ‘Chrysalis’ ever will be. Why don’t you think so, Chryssie?”
“STOP CALLING ME THAT AT ONCE, YOU INFEDEL!” she demanded.
“No, Chryssie,” he said with a smug look on his face. He was getting off on how she was reacting to that nickname. “Chryssie Chryssie Chryssie.”
Chrysalis flung herself in the air, preparing to charge herself at L with the intentions to beat him to a pulp.
“Nuh-uh-uh,” said L, holding out the pastry/button in front of her. “Get any closer to me and I swear I will use it.”
Chrysalis flew back down, and said, “So what are your conditions to make sure you won’t?”
“Release your one hostage, and I will not use it,” he said simply.
“One hostage?” asked Chryssie. “I had three last time I checked.”
“Not anymore you don’t. During that little flight of anger, you allowed two of them to escape, Chryssie.”
Just as L said it, Chrysalis and Changeling Flash were surprised to find that she was no longer holding a tight grip on Rainbow Dash and Applejack. Flash was even more surprised when Rainbow Dash tackled him to the ground, making him release Rarity from his grasp, and then Applejack joined in the fight.
“Your choice was made for you, Chryssie, it seems,” said L. “I guess I won’t have to use the Tardis self-destruct button.”
“Pardon me for asking, darling, but how could that cookie possibly blow us all to horrible teeny tiny bits?” asked Rarity. “I mean, I know you’re a draconiquus, but…”
“It’s a cookie?” asked Chrysalis.
“Uh-oh,” said L.
“Oh, dear,” said Fluttershy. “Rarity, I don’t think he wanted them to know that it was a cookie.”
L gave a nervous laugh. “You don’t say!” he said. He took a bite of it. “Alright, it’s a Jimmy Dodger, and not dangerous at all. It was a lie. A clever lie. It was worth a shot, though.”
“GET THEM!” exclaimed Chryssie.
A bunch of changelings jumped into the room through a window, and attempted to grab a hold of them, but instead the fighting ensues. Next thing everypony knows, there was a whole bunch of everypony, who was in the room, in the room.
About twelve Applejacks bucked each other in the face at once.
Five Rainbow Dashes were inching their way towards two frightened Fluttershys with the intent to pounce and attack.
Four Raritys were hitting on four Spikes (they all fell for it).
Eight Pinkie Pies were firing their party cannons at each other, needlessly redecorating the place and themselves.
Ten Twilight Sparkles were trying to find out which one was the smarter one, by reciting equations with irrational numbers as their solutions.
The only draconiquus L found himself face to face with seven different ponified versions of himself. “You guys should be ashamed to call yourselves changelings!” the draconiquus L told them. The pony Ls looked down at the floor in shame.
Only Queen Chrysalis herself was unchanged, but she herself wasn’t sure why she wasn’t. She was perfectly able to the last time she checked. But for some reason she found herself unable to. She had been wondering about that, but now had some idea as to who was responsible for her lack of being able to change.
It was then that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna walked into the room, and the chaos came to a halt. “What in Equestria is going on here?” asked Celestia. “Oh Faust! L, is that you?”
“You know him?” asked all of the Pinkie Pies, Twilight Sparkles, Rainbow Dashes, Raritys, Fluttershys, Applejacks, Spikes, and pony Ls.
“Well, of course I know him,” she responded. “He’s only just the best ally we have in keeping our planet safe from outside forces. I’ve met him quite a few times before, but not in the order that he meets me, unfortunately. Before we get any further, L, what is going on here?”
L pointed to Queen Chrysalis.
“Oh, not you again,” both her and Luna said aloud.
The Other Draconiquus - Story 2: Bite of the Changeling
“Did I hear you correctly?” Queen Chrysalis asked Princess Celestia. “Did you just call this creature, ‘L’?”
“Oh boy,” said Princess Luna.
“The L?”
“Here it comes,” said Princess Celestia.
“The same L who broke my heart over a thousand years ago?”
“I was unaware you had one, Chryssie,” said L. “And I can honestly say that I don’t believe we’ve met before. Or at least I haven’t met you before, but I don’t know if that statement is still true vice-versa.”
“What in Tartarus does that mean?” asked twenty changeling copies of the mane six, including, possibly, a few real ones.
“He’s a time traveler,” said Princess Celestia. “Didn’t you know?”
While both the real and changeling copies of the mane six and Spike were in awe by this, Queen Chrysalis was upset that the time she had with L over a thousand years ago hadn’t happened for the one in front of her yet.
"So, uh, what exactly did I do to break her heart? Tell me what happened," said L.
"Well, at one time, Queen Chrysalis, was a young alicorn filly, named Chryssie. She was my daughter," said Princess Celestia.
"YOUR DAUGHTER? " asked everypony at once.
"Yes," said Celestia. "I loved my daughter very much, and I wished for nothing but the best for her. But, L's future self arrived one fateful day in Equestria, and met her in an adventure involving a race, coincidentally called Pinkies, and she fell madly in love with him. So she started feeding him a love potion, to make him take her with him across the universe. Eventually she ran out of ingredients to make it, and when the effects wore off, he dumped her. Devistated, she cast a spell so that she could never love again. And this is what she became."
Silence.
L nodded to himself. "Yes, that explains why, a few times I've shown up you'd been irritable with me. I certainly hope that you've forgiven me for that."
"I have. But if only a certain other pony ever could."
She turned and walked towards Queen Chrysalis. "Princess Chryssie-" she began.
"The next pony who calls me that will get their brains ripped out of their-" began Queen Chrysalis.
"Oh, shut it, Shelob!" snapped L.
"Don't you dare call me by that fictional antercrop's name!" she retorted.
"Bug off!"
"Hey, be a little more sensitive, L," said the voice of Discord. "You're hurting her feelers!" L looked in the direction of the voice, and saw Discord's disembodied head lying on Princess Luna's back.
"Good one, Discord. We might become allies after all."
"May I continue?" asked Princess Celestia.
"I know what you're about to do, Princess Celestia," said L. "Which is why I'm saying all these bug-related puns. I want to be able to use them while I still can."
Everypony but Discord and Pinkie rolled their eyes. Discord was wanting to continue making puns with L. Pinkie Pie was staring off into another dimension and saw a young man, lying on his bed, in the dark, with a stuffed animal resembling Twilight Sparkle, and typing that Pinkie Pie was staring off into another dimension and saw a young man, lying on his bed, in the dark, with a stuffed animal resembling Twilight Sparkle, and typing away at a laptop computer.
Discord and L sang the following duet:
"Spidermare, Spidermare.
Does whatever a Spider dares.
Can she swing from a web?
No, she can't, 'cause she's fat.
Oh, no! She is the Spidermare. "
"That doesn't even rhyme!" said, presumably, the real Twilight.
"Screw rhyming! We're from another planet!" exclaimed Discord.
"I AM NOT FAT!" exclaimed Queen Chrysalis.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," said L, sarcastically. "I had forgotten it's changeling breeding season.* My mistake."
Queen Chrysalis was getting very annoyed.
"Well, I think we're running out of bug jokes and puns," said L. "Do continue, Celestia."
"Alright, I know what I must do now, Chryssie!" said Celestia. "Although I cannot change you back to how you were before all of this, I can, with the help from a certain time-traveler, open your mind to realize exactly what you've become!"
L stepped forward next to Celestia. Celestia cast a yellow magic aura around Chrysalis's head, and L enhanced the effect by spreading it around to the rest of her body. Queen Chrysalis's face was focused on resisting their magic. But in the end, Celestia and L won through, and in a flash Chryssie's expression was that of sheer horror on the face of a filly.
Chryssie began to weep loudly like a child. "Mommy! Mommy, what have I done? I am sorry, mommy! So sorry! And so scared, mommy!"
Celestia wrapped her front hooves around her changeling child's neck, in a comforting hug. "It's alright, Chryssie. Mommy's here. Everything will be alright now."
"My Queen!" shouted many of the mane six clones. The clones, frustrated in loosing the leadership of their beloved queen, flew off into the night.
"They're getting away, mommy!" exclaimed Chryssie.
"It's alright, Chryssie, dear," said her mother. "Let them go. Let them flee and die out in a few years from now. After all, all of them are male. You're the only female changeling. They can't breed without you."
Chryssie looked up at Celestia and said, "No, mommy. There's another."
The Other Draconiquus - Story 2: Bite of the Changeling
"He's gone, isn't he?" asked Twilight.
"Yes, he is," said L, knowing perfectly well she was talking about Flash. "I'm sorry."
"You have a time machine, don't you? Can't we go back and try again, this time saving him from becoming one of those things?"
"No. We cannot."
"Why not?"
"There are laws of time. They have extremely strict policies about altering events that had occurred in the past in your own life. There are also a law, which states, that if you know something is going to happen in the future ahead of time, you can't change it, either."
"Then what's the point of a time machine?" she asked.
"To see history happen," replied L.
"How can I face all these coming millennia of immortality knowing that I failed to save the stallion I loved?"
"No. The real question is: Was it really him you loved, or the other him? The one from the other world?"
Twilight was about to say, "Of course I loved him", but stopped herself. It was then that she realized, L had spoken a very good question. She wasn't even sure that even she, herself, could answer it truthfully. She was uncertain. "I honestly don't think I can answer that," she said, instead. She then looked at him, questioningly. "How do you know about that?"
"As Discord accurately put it: I heard about it from you in your future. Anyway, there was something else you had told me that you had done with me that I'd like to ask you to. Or rather, invite you to."
"Oh?" She raised an eyebrow, curiously.
"Would you like to come along with me?"
"Come along with you where?"
"Anywhere! That box doesn't just travel in time, you know. It can go anywhere, anywhen, free of charge. Just um, try to avoid contact with with any other of yourself you may see along the way. You were lucky you didn't blow up the universe last time you traveled in time. Yes, I know about that, too. What do you think? I know this might not be the best time to ask you this though."
"No, it's okay. I need a little break from all of this. I know that Princess Celestia just had a reunion with her daughter, and that's great, and all. I can't bear to face the full aspect of the wedding being cancelled now. But do you promise to get me back here by tomorrow when we return?"
"Yes. But we should probably tell the others what's going on, first."
L got up from where he was sitting, and walked up to the others, and Twilight followed suit.
"We have something we want to tell you guys. Oh, before that though, I have to ask. Celestia, so Chryssie is your daughter, right? Who was her father?" asked L.
"Well, it doesn't really matter much, seeing as how he died before he even knew I was pregnant with her," said Celestia.
"I know but who was he? Don't tell me he was who I think he was!"
"I don't know who you think he was, L, but it is of no concern to you."
"The more you neglect to answer the question, the more certain I become that I know the answer."
"Just drop the subject, okay."
"Alright. Anyway, as I was going to say, me and Twilight have just been discussing having her travel with me. She wants to go through with it. Would that be alright with you, Princess Celestia?"
"Quite. I knew that at some point you would allow her to be your companion. I knew, because I've met her many times before she met me, and she was with you during those times."
"How many times have you met him in the past, Celestia?" asked Twilight.
"I've lost count. But I always look forward to a visit from him. I'm surprised you didn't show up when Discord broke free the first time."
"I did! You don't remember, do you?" said L
"Remember what, L?"
"Just like Twilight and her friends, Discord hypnotized you, too. He made you a sex addict, called Molestia, and I had to unhypnotize you while he was away, in order for you to send her back the friendship letters she wrote to you, in order for her to remember that she and her friends were just that. I'm surprised you've forgotten. Then again, I did have to change you back, so nothing would seem off to him."
"YOU AIDED HER IN STONING ME AGAIN, YOU MEDDLING INFIDEL!??!" exclaimed Discord.
"There's no need to loose your head."
Discord told L to do something very inappropriate to himself.
"Dude! Watch your language! This show's made for little girls!"
"What?" asked Rainbow Dash, derp-faced.
"Don't call me 'dude'," said Discord. "I'm not a stoner anymore. Not since-"
"Since you got stoned!" exclaimed L.
"Kiss my flank, L!"
"I totally would take that offer, but you don't even have a flank at the moment."
"Don't remind me."
"Too late."
Discord was about to respond when Luna exclaimed in the Royal Canterlot Voice: "ENOUGH OF THIS CHILDISH LAMPOONERY*, YOU FOALS! BEHAVE THOUSELVES AT ONCE OR TO STONE WITH BOTH OF YOU! "
"You're right, Luna. I'm sorry, Discord. I'm afraid I got a bit, too, carried away with the puns. I do hope you find your body soon." He leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "To be perfectly honest, I really would take the offer to kiss your flank. In fact, remind me when next we meet, assuming, of course, you've found it by then, and I will."
"Agreed," said Discord, considering what would be the most awkward situation in which he would make him do it. He would certainly take a picture and spread copies of it throughout all of Equestria. He'd embarrass his rival to the point in which he would never show his face in Equestria again, and show hundreds of mares his sexy bum all in one go. Best prank ever! 42/0!
They all went down to the ballroom where L stored his blue box, the others were there to see him and Twilight off. L pulled a key out of an invisible pocket, and inserted it into a hidden lock on the door, turned it, and opened the door. He turned back, before entering. "Oh, Pinkie," he said, "I almost forgot." He snapped his fingers and gave Pinkie Pie back her mouth.
"Thanks for remembering me! Last pony who took my mouth forgot! And it took a week before I ever got it back! I had to live off some liquid in a bag given through a needle in my leg! It tasted like snozzberries!"
No pony bothered to ask how she knew IV feed tasted like a fruit that doesn't exist. Pinkie Pie often says things which simply make no sense whatsoever, and everypony has simply learned to just let these things slide as her "just being Pinkie Pie." What they don't know is that... well... that's revealed in much later installment of The Other Draconiquus.
"Until next time, everypony," said L, as he stepped inside the box, leaving the door open for Twilight.
"Don't worry about me everypony," said Twilight. "You'll probably see me again in a minute, since this is a time machine." She stepped inside, and closed the door behind her.
She looked at the inside in awe.
"What do you think, Twilight? What's the first thing that comes to mind?"
She hesitated before saying, "It's bigger on the inside."
"That it is! Welcome to the Tardis, Twilight Sparkle. That's Time And Relative Dimension In Space. This ship is inspired by the time machine of a fictional character created on another planet by a member of a race of ape descended life forms, called homo sapiens, or humans. I loved saying that. It sounded so intelligent."
L walked up to the controls in the center of the room. Twilight stood drinking in her surroundings.
L waited a moment before asking, "So, Princess Twilight Sparkle, where and when would you like to go first?"