A Short Tale

Chapter Nine: A Whole New Look

Travian found himself in a place he was unfamiliar with. It was some place he did not fall asleep in. In fact, he should have woken up outside. Normally, he would say he woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but this was not the case. It seemed he slept on the wrong side of the couch. A very familiar couch. One of which he has been companions with for quite some time.

"Flutters, why am I on your couch?" Fluttershy appeared.

"Oh! Um... I think you walked in and fell on it? I mean, fell asleep on it?" She sounded suspicious, but knowing Fluttershy it probably was just her shyness kicking her to the curb as it normally did.

"Oh. Mmkay then. Seems legitimate." He arose from his old friend, welcoming the opportunity to use his legs. "I'll just head out now. Maybe stalk around the outskirts of the town." That could be fun. Maybe the adults would tell the children stories about how if they didn't go to sleep, he would arrive in the middle of the night. That would be absolutely swell.

When he opened the door, something seemed odd about the air. As if he weren't alone. He didn't pay that much attention as he had somewhere he needed to be. As he approached Ponyville, however, the presence grew more noticeable. Before he could think of what the presence was, he remembered his clothes he needed to check on with Rarity. He slapped his head in a face palm maneuver.

His face palm was interrupted by a rainbow racing up to him, nearly knocking him off his feet. "Wha-?" He tried balancing himself, but fell to the ground instead. It was time for questions. "Why? Under what circumstances do you feel the need to shove yourself at me?"

"We need to have our little talk! I told you it wasn't over." That was what she wanted. A talk.

"... Which one?"

"You said something about you being the only one for me! And you skipped over the important detail of me saving you. Remember now?" Travian could remember just barely. He looked at his mental lists, but only to find 'avoid Rainbow Dash' on one of them. He probably had a good reason, and this was that reason. At least, most likely. He was rather forgetful about such trivial things.

"Not really, no. To be honest, I don't remember saying I'm the only one for you." A lie, yet again. "And I don't believe I skipped that detail..." He couldn't help but notice her cyan coat. It actually reminded him of something from ages past. Something involving an idiot wearing light blue armor in the middle of a desert. It kind of set his standard that everyone who wears any sort of light blue is slightly stupid. Of course, he could be wrong, but that was besides the point.

"Uh, yes you did! You skipped it entirely. And I remember you saying that you apparently thought I was stupid. What kind of jerk are you? You're just calling me names behind my back, I bet!"

"Um..." She figured it out! He had to protect the truth from her. "I have no idea what you're even talking about, let alone what you are saying."

"Is it because I got rainbow hair? Is it because I'm just so much more awesome then you?"

"Actually, it's cause of your cyan coat." He let the words slip before he could stop himself. This made Rainbow Dash astonished.

"How can you not like cyan?!"

"I remember somebody wearing cyan in the middle of a desert. I mean, seriously. Who even thinks of doing that? So that basically set the standard for me that all cyan is stupid. Sorry if I'm so horribly wrong."

"You're saying we ponies are racist, but you're just hating on me because of the color of my coat?" Travian would need a devastating amount of ice for that burn.

"Hmm... Well when you put it like that, I guess I am a little bit of a jerk. Tell you what, since you apparently earned my trust, I'm going to apologize. But I'm going to apologize in my own way." Rainbow Dash pondered for a few moments. She then shrugged, signalling him to do what he wanted. He got on one knee and then said, "Baby, please! I am so... So sorry about what happened! Look, she was coming on to me faster than I could stop her, an' I know you care 'bout me so much! Just please, girl, listen to me! I am so very very VERY sorry for what I did! I just couldn't stop her... An' I'm sorry for that too. Can you ever find it within your heart to forgive me, lady?"

Rainbow Dash looked at him in almost complete disgust. "Um... Ew?! Are you saying you're in a relationship with me?"

"In your dreams, and I gotta make sure that stays intact." He winked while he got up from his knee.

"Excuse me, but you're not my type at all!"

"Hey, I can be a fabulous chick if I like! You don't tell me what to do." This was a straw he just drew. In fact, if you take a look at the cup, many of the straws have been drawn. In fact, almost all of them.

"Are... Are you saying I'm gay?" Travian was in dangerous waters around seven feet under the ground.

"... No. I mean, I guess you can be happy if you like, but you seem rather upset now. Dunno why. I guess it's because you're partially blonde." Travian, while despising humans, still enjoyed making fun of their remarkably stupid yet popular members: the blondes.

"Why are you such a jerk?" He tried to look at her to see she might have been on the verge of tears. No reason why, but if he had to guess, she had never been tormented this hard before.

"Because you love it. Now! If you'll excuse me, I'll just be taking a little trip on my favorite rocket ship away from here and to Rarity's place." He said the first sentence very quickly. Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash blocked him.

"No! You aren't going anywhe-" A sudden warping noise interrupted her. A gap behind her was being pulled open by a steel gauntlet. A familiar one at that. Next came the arm, then the helmet. Next came only a little bit of the body.

"He's not going where, might I ask?" His brother was a rather random individual, but that's what happens when you can warp anywhere at anytime given the effort. Rainbow Dash was in complete awe. "Aren't you ugly... I can literally see the magic emanating from you. You should try washing it off." The helmet turned to Travian. "Ah. Cousin. I hope this foul fiend isn't giving you trouble."

"No, cousin, I think she gets it now."

"Ah! A she..." He took a few seconds to examine her. "An ugly she. I expected you to do better, Longshot. Oh well, good luck with her." He almost went back into his little warp when he realized something and turned around. "Oh yes! Dating advice: Buy her dinner. It's an easy way to get where you wanna be, at least most of the time. Tally ho!" He plunged back in to the warp, causing another loud warping sound as the gap in reality mended itself back together. Rainbow Dash was speechless.

"I see you've met my brother." He picked himself up from the ground. "Nice guy, really. Probably was in a bad mood like I am right now. Now scooch out of the way. In fact, I got a better idea. I'll just walk around you. Fare well with the shock!" He casually walked past the paralyzed pony.

Before he left into the town, he heard a rather confused "What?" behind him. He didn't take the bait and instead moved into the town. Several ponies that were in the streets saw him and instantly fled for their lives.

"Oh, plebeians. How fun you are to mess with."

He tried searching all throughout town, but he couldn't find Rarity's place. He started to think. 'If I were extremely gaudy, where would I live?' He looked around to see a giant pink, white, and pale blue structure. "Oh gods why." He gulped and headed in the direction of the building. Thankfully, measurements were actually taken of him. They figured out they could use his good leg instead, which was a miraculous discovery. He was scared what was inside the building.

He finally reached the door, which itself was too much for him. It was purple, of all door colors. He reached down for the handle, closing his eyes. He then pushed the door open. He crouched down to get in to the building. He then opened his eyes. He beheld an extremely ugly, girly room that would have made his brother giddy with glee. It was so disgusting he had to look at it for several seconds while gawking. On his face, a normally careless face would usually reside, was a horrified look of pure terror. To seal the deal, Rarity showed up. "Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, how can I help you?" She opened her eyes to see Travian standing in fear. "Oh Longshot. Wait... Oh my gosh! Longshot!" She came over to him. "What's wrong?"

He fell slowly to his knees over dramatically. "Too..." He clenched his chest, as though a dagger were through it. "Much..." He fell to the floor, face first. "Fashion..." He could feel the irritation on Rarity's entire figure as he arose.

"You know, they call me dramatic. I think even I was beat right there."

"That's 'cuz you don't have hands!" He held his hands up, showing all his fingers. Rarity looked at them in silence.

"Those aren't really the most attractive things... I mean, they have claws!"

"The dragon has claws, but you don't complain!"

"But he was always with Twilight. You just got here. And you are big, uncouth, and most undelightful to talk about fashion with!" Was Travian just going to stand there and be insulted by Rarity? After all, he believed himself not to be... uncouth?

"What does uncouth mean?"

"Ugh! You don't even know even the simplest of fine words. So... Barbaric!" He understood that word clearly.

"Bar bar bar bar!" He had to fill the part of a barbarian. She called him barbaric, therefore he is barbaric.

"You are just so unbelievable. Anyways! Why did you come over here, besides to learn how not to be a gentlecolt?" Finally. Something he could get behind. When he thought about what she just said and what he just thought, he really wanted to wipe what he thought out of his brain.

"I came to check on my clothes."

"Oh I have those all done." The to-do list was quickly emptying. This was good and bad.

"Absolutely fantastic. Oh, do I have to pay you or something? Maybe a favor?"

"Oh no, please. I am very generous to those who need clothes." Travian nodded and looked for his clothes. That was until Rarity pointed in a direction. He looked and saw his clothes there. He picked them up and wished his farewell to Rarity. These clothes would be the clothes that reconnect him with his ancient self.