A Short Tale

by arrek125

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Dark, Human, Comedy
Length: 65311

Equestria is at peace until a burning object smashes into the surface. The questions rack up, but there is only one way to be certain.

Equestria had faced many problems, but none so alien as an object smashing into the Everfree Forest. Twilight had been up late studying a subject she considered important when she saw it. When she reported it to the princess, Celestia asked the elements of harmony to investigate. The problem is that they don't know what to expect inside the Everfree or from where the object landed.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-22 02:55:53 UTC

One Late Night

Chapter 1: One Late Night

Twilight Sparkle knew she was up late. She was completely taken up with her studies of a fail-safe spell just in the case that Equestria was somehow attacked in a massive way by a massive power. She was getting rather tired with all of her studies, so she wanted to try to get some sleep. She really wanted to complete just this one last thing. Her windows blew open though, preventing her from doing so. When she went over to close them, she noticed something peculiar in the night sky. A star was slowly falling. Now a shooting star, while uncommon, usually fell very swiftly unlike this star. She used her innate unicorn magic to bring her telescope over to the window to observe the star.

What she observed, however, was not actually a star. It was more like a meteor. It was heading directly for Equestria. She gasped, and called for Spike, her assistant, to deliver a message to Princess Celestia about it. Spike, not fully awake, didn't see this as much of a big deal which it obviously was. Equestria was threatened by this meteor! Twilight peered back to the meteor. She started seeing more details on it. It was actually metallic, and was spinning slowly. When she zoomed out a bit, she saw that it was actually heading straight towards Ponyville. Her assistant then saw what worried her so much, and shook from his daze. He started panicking, drawing Twilight's attention for a moment.

Then the metal object started shifting off to the side, as if intentionally avoiding Ponyville for some reason. She wondered if Princess Celestia had actually been able to move it, but then remembered that she was probably asleep at the moment. Maybe it was some other magic, then. The fiery object then started speeding up in its different course towards the Everfree Forest. Then, it disappeared into the forest. Following this disappearance was a great noise. A huge crash was heard throughout Ponyville, awakening many residents. Spike then belched up a letter from the princess. It was giving her directions to gather the other Elements of Harmony and investigate the strange object that crashed in the Everfree Forest.

"So, the enemy is in that direction, right?" Travian asked the human, confused. He was pointing off to the side, which in space could probably be nowhere and everywhere.

"You got it. Now hurry up, you aren't getting paid until you destroy them." Travian shrugged. Usually, he could actually see his opponent. They must have had some sort of cloaking mechanism. Then again, those were very rare. Especially for humans, which he was told was his enemy. He usually didn't help humans kill other humans, but he had been in the company of this group for quite some time and needed his pay. After all, money is everything, supposedly.

The door to his boarding pod opened. He walked inside, the door then closing behind him rather swiftly. It almost nipped the back of him. He adjusted himself properly and took a moment to make sure his helmet was working properly. Everything had checked out as fine or at least functional, and he was prepared for whatever could happen. Most likely everything, at least. He then turned on his radio.

"I am ready. Send me." He shook a little as the pod disconnected from the main ship. He walked over to a seat and took it. There were plenty of them, and he had a small difficulty in wondering which to take. He could sit in the front seat or in the back seat, but that would be utterly destroyed as a theory of space. After buckling himself in, he waited for further instructions or complete silence. Although this would be an easy mission, he couldn't help but be on his guard. Years upon years of danger can do that to a rogue gone mercenary. It was fun when he was a bandit... He could terrorize the innocent and the guilty alike! Now he had to be bias and all that garbage.

His radio then clicked in. It was the commander of the fleet that hired him. "You know, you are rather expensive. You are also a great asset to whoever you help." Travian nodded, not needing to speak. He was pretty awesome. "And an asset that could be used by an enemy against us." He froze in his seat. This sounded awfully familiar. Now if only he could properly recall from where... "We'd like to not take that risk. Also, we don't want to pay you what you asked." He looked out the window and saw a few of the ship's weapons locking on to him. Not this again. After all his effort, yet again he would be shot down in his prime.

He put his voice on the radio. "You might just shoot me down, but not paying me? Not only do I find that rude, I find it crude!" He saw a spike propel itself towards him. Typical belligerent and greedy humans. Money had to be spread around, after all! They could not just simply hoard it for their own selfish gain, like addiction or some terrible excuse. "My revenge shall bring you down. Oh yes, and you know for a fact that I am one for a long sho-" He felt his pod get shaken. He looked to his side to see a giant spike poking through the hull. "-t, you really should try not to interrupt me. I have importan-" The pod then started going into some sort of turbo drive as he remembered it was actually controlled by the main ship, not him. He looked towards his destination, finding it to be a planet that was rather blue. He'd have to cheer it up, then. He looked back to the main ship and saw it beginning to move. They were just going to leave him like all the rest without anything different. He still had his weapons and armor which was a plus. If he could rely on one thing, it would be his armor.

Travian turned off his radio and sighed. This was probably the fourth time this had happened to him. He sat back in his seat. How he could be calm in this situation, he attributes mostly to his insane brother. He wanted to find some music to listen to while his helmet lay atop his head, fastened in safely. He found a song to listen to while he sat down with the spike jutting into the hull as an arm rest. He looked to his destination again and saw that he finally hit the atmosphere. A flurry of colors invaded his vision as he saw the colors go from blue to yellow then back to blue. His vessel then caught fire. While normally he'd be fine with this, this fire was not his fault and therefore he would not be held responsible for the damage. The fire he refused to accept started to heat the inside up. He calmed down and sat back in his seat, pondering just what was going on. Travian was losing track of time as the vehicle was speeding forward progressively and the music in his helmet kept playing. While he was not accustomed to the temperature, he did have his suit on to cool him and keep him totally chill. There was no amount of heat that could make him not cool. Well... Maybe except for stars, close fires, and so he realized he wasn't invincible to heat. It was a sad realization. When time finally slowed down for him and it started making more sense, he saw his destination was not to the blue gem which constantly changed to yellow and back, but to a green grassy field with... buildings. "Wait... Hold up for one sec, this planet is inhabited?" he asked aloud as he arose in victory,  "Yes, I am saved!" His night vision in his helmet had activated at the time, so he knew the planet was dark. Either that or the fire was becoming dark and the ship is dark.

What he didn't realize until that moment was that he was actually heading towards the buildings. "Oh. That's not good. In fact, I would call that bad. Oh dear." He looked over across his former seat and saw the spike that was sticking out of the side of the pod. He noticed that he was in fact the smartest being on that ship, and therefore every decision he made was smart. He lifted his foot and kicked the side of the spike, causing the entire vehicle to start spinning. It was not his original plan, but it would work temporarily. The pod would eventually turn if he hurled himself at one side, according to his predictions. While he was not educated thoroughly, he was experienced in most tricky and trivial things. While in mid spin, he slammed himself on the side of the pod's walls, causing it to lean over to the side. It was like some sort of children's ride. He giggled with glee as he embraced his inner child. "Now this is my favorite part!" Travian realized his sanity was draining as an added side effect. It was a family thing, so he considered it normal instead of life threatening.

He could feel the vehicle coming to a stop. The interior wasn't as hot and it was slowing down. Travian was then launched to the roof of the inside as the vehicle crashed. It really hurt his back, possibly broke a few bones. Knowing his suit though, he'd be perfectly fine. Having an extremely overpowered suit against a minor crash can do that. The music from his helmet cancelled out the sound which he had lowered from the outside, but he knew the crash made the loudest boom this planet had ever heard. He suffered far worse injuries than the petty broken bones in his lifetime, including at least two spears running through him at the same time. He picked himself up but couldn't fully stand. His pod was crushed. He was abandoned on a remote planet with no communication abilities available to him. However, he knew his brother could find him. Travian knew the little time bending bugger could and would find him. It was only a matter of waiting. He consulted his helmet for a few moments. "How is the air here?" The screen said it was breathable. "Alright-y then. You haven't lied to me before, my lovely helmet." Travian enjoyed talking to inanimate objects. It was a hobby of his. In fact, he was forced to talk to them because he couldn't talk for a lot of his early life. Actually, all of his early life and quite a bit of his mid life. It reminded him why his metallic tongue was so precious to him. It was terrible not to have one in case you need to form consonants. With this hobby of his, his brother built the very armor he wore and tried to give it as much interactivity as possible for his enjoyment. His helmet showed a heart on it's screen. "I love you too, armor." He hugged himself, and let himself take a small rest. While he couldn't sleep, he did his best to close his eyes and lose track of time with music.

His rest was interrupted by his suit warning him of foreign entities around him. He rolled over onto his chest and stopped the music. Something was horribly off about this planet, and he felt it at that instant. The planet almost felt... Magical. He had only heard about these planets from his brother, who dreaded magic. Travian himself was opposed to magic as it hampered with his strength and focus. Worst of all, his brother would take longer to find him. Much longer. He looked at the door of the pod and saw it was surrounded by a purple glow. That was the first hint of his magic theory. He got into a crouching position and walked up the the door. He grabbed his pistol out of its holster. He then looked at the handle that said "Emergency Open". He raised his hand to the handle and put it around it. He put the pistol up next to the door. Then he pulled the handle.

The door bolted open. It fell forward and he was prepared for anything that would try to kill him and or arrest him. It has occurred where something tried to kill Travian while arresting him. He raised the pistol and almost spoke out. His face could do naught but slowly fall. He beheld colorful baby horses. It was an adorable sight that could have melted a lesser being's heart. Some of them had horns, and some had wings. There were six of them and one of him. He stared at them, letting his thoughts stop. He decided to keep his mouth shut for once and see what the natives would do to him. They stared right back at him, until a purple baby unicorn said something.

"Girls... Why isn't it doing anything? I thought this thing would have been very danger-" The voice was surprisingly old for what he thought were baby horses. Maybe twenty in human years. He shifted slightly to stare at her directly. His visor, at least, was facing her. That was until a cyan one got in his face.

"Don't you take a step closer to her! I'm warnin' you!" Travian stood his ground in the doorway. He slowly lowered his pistol into its holster and looked back to the cyan one. He then put up his hand and laid it upon her chest. He then slightly pushed her away in hopes of getting her on the ground and out of his way. It was to no avail as she was flying, but Travian believed in effort. He had accumulated at least five thousand effort points over his life, and he had been counting. With the cyan one out of the way for the moment, he put his boot forward out of the broken pod. He planted it firmly into the ground and did the same with his other foot. He dragged himself out of the pod and stood at full height, easily dwarfing the little horses. They were cute when they were scared.

He decided to assess his situation. He was surrounded by tiny horses which lived on a highly magical planet. He was in moderate pain from the broken bones that were still healing, and he probably looked terrifying to the natives, who also spoke in a human language that he had learned only fifty or so years ago. Overall, it wasn't the worst situation he could be in. He looked down at the other horses, examining them. They all were very different. One was bright pink and had some form of smile upon its face. Another was orange with blond hair and some kind of hat Travian was not overly fond of. The one in front of him was cyan with... Rainbow hair. 'That most certainly isn't natural,' Travian thought. The one he stared at was purple and was a unicorn. He looked over and saw an extremely pale unicorn with purple hair. The one next to that one had long pink hair and was a yellowish color that he couldn't make it. It also looked adorable and shy.

He decided it was time. "I tell you what, that one right there is simply cute, adorable, and overly attractive at the moment." Travian said. He really wasn't attracted to them, but it probably made them feel good. All the horses took a step back and he noticed the yellow one blush heavily. "No wait! I just got to know you were yellow! Don't you go changing on me. I don't want two pink ones to deal with." The yellow one was no longer yellow in the face and possibly other places. Travian turned to the rest of them. It was time for twenty questions. "Anyways, who are all of you, what planet is this, why is it so magical, and why are you so hostile to me?" He said in particular to the cyan one. They all were shocked at his moderate amount of curiosity and how fluent he was in their language. It would be a long night of explaining for them, and a short night of listening for him. At least he hoped so. That was how things always went, right?

Land Ahead

Chapter 3: Land Ahead

Travian had seen a few old type towns in his life, but the place they led him to looked suspiciously like a place he knew before. Just around twenty percent more color and around one hundred percent less snow. He focused on what he could have possibly been reminded of. Then, like a rude individual, Twilight interrupted his thinking with a greeting to the town. It was called Ponyville. Travian couldn't help but laugh at the name. The multicolored devil arose to his height with her wings and asked him, in a hostile tone no less, "What's so funny?" Travian wanted to tell her specifically so hard that he couldn't contain himself.

"Ponyville?! Really! This is just grand!" He was about to topple over due to the hilarious name that was so original and very though provoking as to why it was named such.

"Yeah, and? What's wrong with the name?" Travian had to remember for a few moments that he was on a different planet. One inhabited by colorful miniature horses.

He decided the joke was over. He also didn't want to make the cyan pony angry, or at least not yet. Yet being the key word of his thought. "It's just an inside joke. As in, you aren't supposed to get it." His words weren't very carefully chosen, as he soon realized.

"Maybe I wanna get it now." Before the argument got any further heated, Twilight decided to hit him with a question.

"So... 'Longshot', do you not actually have a place to live? You said what you crashed in the Everfree wasn't your home, so I assume you don't have one." Travian looked to the side. She reminded him that he didn't live anywhere. It was true, even before this whole incident. Only once had he lived in a place, and that was with his delusional brother. His brother at the time and still to this day calls him his cousin, not even knowing they both shared closer blood. He realized these ponies could not actually see through his visor, so facial expressions were useless until he removed his helmet. But still... A home all this time would have been nice. Having a place that didn't have someone insane in it to stay for just a while would have been all he could have asked for.

"No... No, I have no home to speak of." He didn't go into the details, and let his solemn tone fill them in to the details which they may or may not have actually gotten. He then turned his head to look in her direction. "Why do you ask?"

She crossed her hooves, clearly walking into something awkward for her. "Well... I was wondering if you wanted to live with me... Just for a while! I mean, I have an extra room, and it really wouldn't be too much of an issue!" She quickly said the last part. Travian had missed having a homely bed instead of a bed for the job. Also, she seemed rather lonely, like she needed somebody where she lived. Either that, or she would study him, even in his sleep. That would be creepy and he would not enjoy barrages of questions every day.

Travian saw through the lines and decided to expose them rather bluntly. "Twilight, I'm not going to live with you just because you are lonely and I have no place to live and I don't want to be studied. There has to be another reason." Her mouth seemed to gape at how he knew what she was implying.

"I live... In a library. You could read any of th-" Books are works of pure evil. That was an immediate no.

"Pass." Travian was not one for books. Those were for his brother. While Travian was a man of the moment, his brother was the ultimate thinker. He could think of one hundred one and a half ways to deal with the one situation you have no solutions to. At least, that is within a matter of seconds. He never wanted his brother to think on a situation for more than an hour as he would go into one of his 'states'. Admittedly, Travian had these little moments himself when he thought too deeply, kind of like how he was doing now. "However... A place to live would be nice. Does anyone have a place I could just sleep outside of? Like a place with nice exterior walls. That'd be fine."

He felt strange asking this as he had just crashed into the forest a few jaunts out of the way and had just gotten acquainted with these ponies over the period of probably an hour. His time system within his helmet actually broke, probably due to either the crash or the magic. Either candidate was likely. Thankfully, one of them spoke up. He believed it was Flutterscotch... 'No wait,' he thought ',was it that or Fluttersky? Girl doesn't talk much, so I forgot entirely about her.'

"I have a home next to the forest... Oh and it's a nice place, I think." Travian was happy. He could live next to the forest and take little trips into it, like he had in the days of olde. There were so many advantages to being there.

"Why, that would be absolutely lovely. I enjoy the forest, I enjoy nice places, what could be the downside there?" As if on cue, his stomach growled. He just remembered his last meal was more than twelve hours ago. "... Are any of you hungry as well?" 'These ponies better not be herbivores. Omnivores, please. Oh please let them be omnivores.'

"Well now that you mention it, I guess I am a bit hungry." Twilight said. After she said that, all their stomachs sounded out. "What are you girls up for?" Travian had to poke in.

"What exactly do you guys eat?" He desperately hoped they were not herbivores. If they were, it would complicate over three hundred things.

Applejack answered the question for him. "We eat apples, hay, you know, that sorta thing. Ah 'sume ya know what those are." Travian face palmed. They were still horses. How could he think for a moment that they weren't herbivores?

"I... I think I'll pass then. Just point me in the direction of your house." He directed his last sentence to the butter colored one. Things would hopefully be simple.

Of course, they weren't. "What's wrong with apples, huh? I think they're fine!" The rainbow menace, jumping to the scene of the crime yet again. Unfortuitously for her, Travian had almost prepared himself and she fell straight into his trap. That he forgot to set.

"Well, you see, I can't actually eat apples." He had to think of a reason quickly. "Right here, atop my head, is a helmet! Silly Dash." He silently hoped that she wouldn't respond.

She paused, thinking for a moment. "Why don't you take the helmet off?" She had to ask that slowly. Travian really considered it. He would look much scarier, for one. It would also reveal that none of his teeth were flat, indicating them to believe him to be one who devours meat. He had to pick the answer carefully.

"It is stuck to my face. For now, anyways. Maybe when I get into the forest, and you look very closely, you'll find me without it." He saw the Flutterfly pony pointing in a direction, hopefully towards her house. He grabbed an invisible hat and tipped it. "Now I'm off, ladies! Hope you have a fine dine." He turned and sped off. While he might not have been the fastest thing alive, the only thing on the ground that could out speed him was a car. It was almost comical how fast he fled. While passing along the outskirts of the town, he saw a few more colorful ponies looking at him as he ran.

When the buildings weren't so close, he actually saw a little road made of dirt, possibly leading towards Flutterpony's place. He slowed his pace down considerably, enough to be a slow jog. Following that single road, he arrived to a marvelous sight. Birds were soaring low to the ground, animals were running about, and fish were swimming in a river. In the middle of the action, he saw a little cottage. His helmet still indicated it was night time. That Flutterperson would be back before long because of the time. He decided to remove his helmet as the air seemed safe to breath. As he reached behind his head to unhook a few things, he saw a single white bunny approaching. "Hey there. How're you doing, lil' guy?"

The bunny then got a face of pure disapproval. "Not good, huh? Does it have to do with me?" He actually nodded. 'Wait... Oh, I am going to hate this guy.' "And what exactly do you have against me?" He started jumping around him and then pointed at the cottage. "... Do you not want me near the house because you think I'm dangerous?" He nodded his head again. Finally, he tried to unlatch his helmet. After a few cables were undone, the helmet fell to the ground with a thud, startling the bunny. He then squatted down, and showed his teeth. They were all sharp teeth, and he was sure to scare the little rabbit. "Good. Because I am. Don't get in my way, we won't have problems." He picked up the helmet and carried it in his hand. He went closer to the cottage, enough so he could feel the wall.

The walls were actually nice to the touch. He decided it would just be great to sleep for the night, but he knew he would be hungry. He stared at the river, full of fish. Fish wasn't too offensive to eat... Was it? Then again... Now was not the time to think. He just had to go out there and do it. 'Just put your hand in the water, put the fish in your mouth, and chew. That's all there is to it.' Travian felt so conflicted with this one decision. He looked across the river, at the road. On the horizon was a dark figure that looked like the Fluttersing pony. His frustration reached its first peak, making him cross his arms in anger. He would have to sleep it off. Hopefully, Flutterguy wouldn't see him and possibly be shocked. Though, with all the animals about the home, he considered that maybe she wouldn't mind his reptilian look. He rocked himself to sleep that night, ignoring the animals and trying to ignore the hunger pains.

In the morning, he was awoken by a gasp. He shot up, ready to attack from a sitting position. Fortunately, it was only Flutterair. "Oh. It's only you." He paused, staring back at the pony. "... Any particular reason why you're staring at me like that?"

"You...  You look like a lizard!" Travian couldn't help but be disappointed.

"Did I not tell you I was a lizard-person? By the way, I forgot your name because it was so quiet. Care to tell me it again?" He didn't know why the pony looked embarrassed. She was super quiet and he couldn't hear properly.

"My name is Fluttershy... Oh and yes! You did tell us that you were a lizard-'man'-mutated-thing. I really didn't expect it to be so..." Her face was zooming in on his skin and scales. A little bit too observe-y for him. He thought of a word to completely take her off track.

"Green? I tell you, it isn't easy being green." Before she could respond again, he decided it was time to embark in the forest on a little hunting trip. "Anyways, is there anything else you needed that I could possibly help you with?" He really didn't expect an answer as he got up.

"Twilight wanted to ask you a few questions, I think..." This halted his every action. Questions were not something he needed to answer. In fact, he didn't need them at all, especially from the natives. Her 'easy' questions were already answered. Her hard questions weren't.

When he recovered from his shock, he continued speaking. "Oh. Right. Tell you what, I'll go talk to her after I take a little walk." He decided it would be best to leave his helmet. The ponies would never figure it out, nor would he actually need it. Of course, those questions Twilight had. They would be a problem to accompany his day.

Cry For Help

Chapter 4: Cry For Help

As Travian trekked deeper into the foreboding forest, he started to feel magic attempt to enter him. It was psychological magic, or at least so he felt. In a forest like this, it probably would turn the trees against him for all he knew. He observed the surroundings, attempting to let his more savage side out to locate his breakfast and most likely dinner. His sense of smell helped slightly, but it was his sense of sight that let him see a few tracks that belonged to a moderately big feline. He started to follow the tracks, keeping silent as he moved along the forest. Fortunately, he didn't have to meet any unwelcome denizens of this magical forest yet.

The tracks were getting fresher and larger, so he took lighter steps to follow them. After all, he didn't want to alert the creature he was tailing. Travian, however, fell straight to the ground when he heard a massive roar that was close to his location. Much too close for comfort, anyways. He turned around to see nothing. Then, he thought for a few seconds and looked up. What he beheld was a horrifying sight.

A lion, or so he remembered it being called, with wings was soaring directly at him, claws bared. He tried to pull out his pistol to take down the air creature, but was too slow and too stunned to do anything as the massive creature slammed directly into him. Thoughts of anger surged through his head. 'Why isn't my armor properly working? I should have been faster, I shouldn't have fallen, I-' His thinking then met with his memory. He forgot that without the helmet, his armor doesn't work nearly as well. It still had the same protective values, which he was thankful for, but nearly everything he did was more sluggish. He was also 'heavier'. While his weight didn't change, besides adding the helmet's weight, his steps would have been lighter on the ground. It would have been due to him being able to control the weight better, but he was an idiot and didn't bring the helmet.

The creature then attempted clawing him with its massive claws, barely even scraping the armor. Thankfully, his armor was equivalent to that of a tank, should he be speaking in terms of toughness. He finally got a single grip on his pistol, but after all his effort, it was undone. He felt a sharp, stinging pain in his chest. He looked down to it to find a massive... "You're a scorpion too?!" He yelled at it, only soliciting more pain and a roar. If his helmet was on, he knew that the poison that would inevitably be in there wouldn't have even affected him. Things were not looking good for Travian, and he felt it. He started to feel something fade in his head for some reason... Maybe the poison had something to do with lightheaded-ness?

He decided that it was time to get out of his suit of armor. However, there were several problems for him at the moment. One was that he was on the ground with something standing over him. Two, he was pinned down by a scorpion tail on a flying lion. Three, he probably couldn't be bothered enough. After what seemed like a century, the stinger removed itself from Travian. When it exited, he just couldn't remember necessarily what was going on, but focused for just a moment on what was ahead. He realized what he had to do, and that was to use his head.

He lifted his head up to the lion's face and opened his jaws. He then bit down on the lion's face, probably giving it a scar. It didn't really hurt it so much as it caused it to flail back, holding its face. It didn't even have that great of a taste. Too much fur, if he was going to be honest. Travian rolled over, realizing that his pistol had dropped out of his holster. He tried so desperately to grab it, but his efforts were proven beyond futile as the lion was leaning back over. He decided it was time to run. Quickly, he grabbed a low lying branch and hauled himself up. The intense pain he felt was only mild now, so he could move at a sluggish pace. His feet picked themselves up as he tried to run. He would go back the same way he came, and be back with Flutterwhy to heal. It was a solid plan that couldn't fail.

Of course, the overly mutated lion caught up to him, throwing him against a tree. He remembered the knife he always had, and tried to remember in the heat of the moment where it was. The lion then launched a strike at his chest. The blow scratched the case of his knife, which was in his vision next to the stinger of the lion's tail when it was penetrating him. He reached for it with a great deal of difficulty, and grasped the hilt. He pulled it free just in time to deflect a claw. He then found the one place he could stab the small blade into in order to escape.

He plunged the knife into the eye of the beast, causing it to blast back. It roared out in pain, but Travian could have cared less. He picked himself up on the tree and ran out into the same direction he came. The lion should have been dealt with, so he could expect a rather safe trip home. Unfortunately, he was rather bloody and wounded, so he might attract unwanted predators. He also might scare the ponies, since they seemed not to be used even to that forest's trees which was the least threatening thing about it. For some reason, he actually cared about what the ponies thought.

When he found the cottage, he tried going around back to find his helmet. He was mortified to find it was missing. His knife, his pistol, and now his helmet was gone, and all he had to show for it was several wounds and a suit of now useless armor. His day was not going as fabulously as planned, and he knew it all too well. He then remembered this place had a little river he could take a bath in to remove the blood and grime. The water and wounds might not be sterilized, but he didn't care. He just needed to clean himself to look even slightly presentable.

Of course, his plans had to be ruined when he heard a quiet gasp behind him. 'Oh, please don't make me turn around.'

"Longshot! The girls thought something bad happened to you because you went missing... It's good that you're back." Travian really didn't want to turn around.

"Ha. Yeah, I guess something bad could have happened to me." He didn't have anything to eat all this time as well. "I just had to think to myself on my walk, is all. If you don't mind," he coughed a little bit, "I'll just go take a bath."

Another hammer then slammed upon him, as though he were the anvil of the world. "Oh, and Twilight came by to talk to you, but you weren't here... So she took the thing you put on your head... She said that she wanted study it and was sure you would be okay with it." Travian couldn't help but feel annoyed at such a thing. Twilight had the guts to come here and steal the one thing he needed all this time. She also assumed the exact opposite of what he would say were she to ask!

"That's great. I'll see her later, I suppose. As for right now, I'm not feeling too great, so a bath would be wonderful." Fluttershy then gasped again, a common enough occurrence. She must have thought he was some sort of wounded anima- He just realized at that moment what Fluttershy saw him as. 'Oh please no.'

"You're not feeling good? Why didn't you tell m-" She was fluttering over to him when she saw his battle wounds, stained armor, and broken pride. "O-oh... M-my..." He was about to respond when she said, "You need to come inside so I can patch you up... Please..."

A thought struck Travian. "Wait... You're a doctor?" He really didn't take her as a doctor, what with her not working at a hospital, or at least as far as he knew.

The answer worried him. "Well, no, but I have worked with animals for a lot of my life!" That really didn't help him try to calm down. He wasn't an animal, he was a lizard-person! He was a proud, mutated human semi-being! Then again, it looked as if he couldn't say no.

There was a pause before he finally responded. "Fine, but get Twilight to bring my helmet over. I need it." He was rushed into the cottage and black magic occurred before his eyes. The inside of the building was larger than the outside. This was the official first time he had gone into the cottage, and he was not pleased. "What kind of black magic is this?!" Fluttershy hushed and rushed him off to the couch that he would soon recognize as the couch of poor fate. 'Why do they have couches if they aren't gonna sit on them?' Travian's thought was interrupted by Fluttershy opening her mouth to speak.

"Do you need anything before I get Twilight?" Travian shook his head, soliciting a smile from the little horse. "Okay, I'll be right back to get you all better." She hurried out the door, leaving Travian alone in the cottage. At least, he thought he was alone, until a bunny he knew and hated appeared.

"Don't you come next to me. I'm not feeling well, but I can still get off this couch and kick you all across the world and all across the nation. All I need is a little motivation." The bunny didn't leave him alone though. Even after the rhyme he just pulled, it pounced up onto him. "... You know I hate you. So. Much. Right now. Get off or I will-" His face twisted to the side as the bunny's palm smacked against his face. He paused and turned back to look at the bunny. "Did you just slap me?" It nodded. "Do you have dreams of death? Because I'm about to make them a reality if you don't get off me. I'm still hungry, you know." The bunny paid attention to that. However, it just stood there.

It quickly got off as Travian brought himself up. He may have been given orders to stay on the couch, but he will not stand for his rep as 'fearless BA you don't wanna mess with' being tossed away. He lowered himself back down, a smile creeping upon his face. Suddenly, the scenery around him became black as his eyes closed. He was hoping to get some rest while waiting for the ponies. The empty darkness slowly filled with dreams of the past.

He arose at the sound of the door opening. He received an "Oh my gosh!" at his appearance by the purple ringleader. In her magical field of telekinesis, she held his helmet, but that dropped after her surprise. "What did this to you?" She asked as she ran over to him.

"There was the lion thing that could fly. It had a tail, which stabbed me right around here." He pointed in the general direction of his wound. "Now can you please get my helmet and place it in my arms?"

"But wouldn't that hurt?"

"Don't you see all the cares I am just shedding for this?" That last one got her to bring the helmet over. He quickly put his helmet on, getting it adapted to his injured suit. 'Huh. Not even a week here, and I get into a fight.' This fact did not bode well for him. Finally, his helmet was attached completely, and it's lovely voice sung into his ears. Or at least his equivalent of ears... They were more like fins ,really. Normally, he covers them because of how stupid he feels with them exposed.

"Welcome back, Longshot. One person attempted to hack into us through magical access. Performing system and biological check..." A loading bar appeared over his view, which was the only thing visible on his red visor. He couldn't hear nor see the ponies around him. The loading bar completed, giving him the delightful voice again. "Warning," that wasn't so delightful, "Suit integrity not at one hundred percent. Poison found within veins: Manticore poison. Symptoms: Forgetting memories, low amount of pain. Body healing at slowed rate."

Finally, his view was restored and he could see the ponies staring at him. "Wait... You're saying you got stung by a manticore?"

"... That's what it was? Thought it was just a flying lion. Oh well. Is it poisonous?" He knew the answer, but wanted to hear them anyways.

"It's one of the worst poisons out there! It is completely incurable, and causes you to forget everything in your life!" Right as she said that, he felt a needle poking into his side by his suit.

"Removing poison." Travian almost laughed because of the convenience of this, but he stayed his fake tongue. He just shrugged, hoping she wouldn't give him any more bad news.

"So what did you want to talk about earlier?" Twilight looked shocked.

"You are recovering from a manticore attack, and only barely, and you want to know about that?!"

"Yeah." He shrugged. "I don't see the problem here. Fluttershy here is gonna fix me up, right and proper, and I have complete confidence in her." A lie, but a nice sounding one anyways. His hand was waving towards Fluttershy, and he got another little smile. Maybe even a hint of a blush.

Twilight knew she couldn't win, so she instead decided to leave it all together. "I'll just... Talk about it to you later. For now, I have to do something for the princess."

'Princess? Oh gods, royalty.' He didn't even see Twilight as royalty, but apparently anyone can be working for the royal family here. Though why the princess, he didn't know. Surely there was a king or queen above them. That would have been better paying, and maybe she wouldn't have been in a little village like that and instead in a castle. Well, preferably away from Travian. She stole his helmet, and he was rather angry at her. She left rather abruptly, probably infuriated at Travian for his lack of care. He turned his attention to Fluttershy. "So do I need to do anything, or can I just relax?"

"Well, you could probably just lay back and sleep... If you want to, I mean." Travian decided this was the perfect time for something grand. He sat back and prepared for the moment he had been wanting to have for some time.

He whispered a command to his helmet. "Output audio, zero." Fluttershy wouldn't need to hear him for now. "Send signal to TaSM. Establish auditory connection." The TaSM belonged to his brother. It was short for Time and Space Manipulator. No matter where he was, he was supposed to have a perfect signal. It was cheating, but at least it wasn't magic. Soon enough, it picked up the little thing and he heard his brother speaking.

"-hoped I pleased you enough. It was a pleasure to me, at least." Then there was a pause. "... That's wierd. This thing says it's getting a signal. Time to test... Hello, random signaler! How 'ya doin' there?"

"... You know it's me, right." A gasp was heard.

"Cousin! It's been too long. You should have called me sooner. Anyways, you need money?" Travian loved and hated the randomness of his brother who believed him to be his cousin.

"No. Look, I kind of got stranded on a planet." He was interrupted.

"Ah! So you do need money. Tell you what-"

"A magical planet." There was a silence, and he wondered if the line was dead or he had hung up.

"You know how I am around magic." His tone got incredibly serious.

"I know, but I need to get off the planet." He dreaded the answer.

"A purge will be necessary, you know." He didn't want to purge this planet. It had sentient beings on it. Good sentient beings! Not stupid, war craving humans.

"We can't just do that! There are sentient beings on the planet! Look, just get here by whatever means you have without purging. Please." The silence he had gotten was long.

"... Very well. But only because you have been such a dear person to me." The signal then died, assuming he hung up. Not even a good bye after so long.

Travian turned his audio output back to normal to find Fluttershy looking at him awkwardly. She was about to speak, but Travian beat her to it. "So, doc. Am I gonna live?"

"Yes... But you need to remove... whatever that is covering the area around the wound." Travian remembered that he didn't really talk about his suit much, so they didn't know what it was. They might not have even known what clothes were! Well, that white unicorn named some ridiculous name was a... Fashionista? They might have clothes. Then again, it would be awkward for horses, deciding they are quadrupeds, or whatever those four legged creature things are called.

"Right." He removed his helmet, but then received a look from Fluttershy. "What? I have to remove the entire suit." She then looked away for some odd reason. He was just stripping down for the doctor, nothing out of the ordinary. After all, these ponies didn't wear clothes, at least from what he had seen. He proceeded to remove the suit, having to get up and remove it. He received plenty of  "be careful"'s from Fluttershy, but that didn't stop him from being reckless. It was within his nature to do so. If he was going to be honest, it was nice hearing her voice... Eventually his suit was laying upon the floor, and he was naked. Fluttershy was looking off to the side at this point. He laid back down on the couch. "Proceed with the operation." He looked down once at his body, finding there to be more than just the piercing in his torso. There were scores of claw marks and bruising along his sides. Even a few cuts were spotted by his weary eyes.

Fluttershy looked flustered when she turned her head back around. Travian put his view to the ceiling and then to the dark void of the realm of sleep. Before he even had time to regret his hunger, he immersed himself fully into that realm.

When he awoke, he found his suit covering his crotch area, with the helmet off to the side, on the floor. He heard a few voices outside the house and saw that his wounds were stitched up. When he raised himself up, he saw the door open. In came Fluttershy and Twilight. Twilight focused on Travian and walked over to him. He started the conversation. "So what did you come by to talk about?"

"Well, actually I was here to see how you were and see if I could ask you a few questions." She had a bag to her side and pulled out some paper and a pencil.

"Alright. I'll answer whatever I feel like." She looked rather confused by his answer but then went on with her first question.

"What do you eat?"

'Well then.' He really began to hate the god of fate right now. "I am... I really don't want to answer the question without the knowledge and safety that you guys will keep silent about it." They both nodded their heads suspiciously. "Alright. I am a carnivore. A.K.A, I can't eat apples, hay, etc.. I eat meat. Animals." They both turned from suspicious to horrified. They had a carnivorous being within their household and reach of the town who had a tendency to find violence. "I do have a few rules!" He said that rather quickly. He slowed his pace as he said, "I do not eat sentient beings or pets. Or carrion, because that is just disgusting! Know what I mean?" He looked around to see not a single carnivore or even omnivore in the room. "... Wrong words, I suppose. Tough crowd, too."

Twilight had to clear her throat at his statement. "Well... Where do you come from?" Travian replied with a no. "What do you plan on doing?"

"I plan on doing really whatever comes to my mind." That may have been a terrible mistake, as he had just admitted basically 'Hey! I feel like eating you because I'm a carnivore and it came to mind! Rawr Rawr Rawr!' Maybe not the rawr part, but he definitely could do the rawr part if he felt like it.

She paused before asking again. "Are there more of you?" Travian thought carefully before saying no. No to the question, of course, but she didn't know that. "Oh... I'm so sorry for-"

"Not that no! I mean no to the asking, not to the question. Jeez Twilight, try paying attention instead of being a silly billy goat." Twilight paused. Travian just realized this may have been a huge insult.

"Did you just call me a male goat?"

"Yes. And a silly one at that." He signed his death warrant a few hundred years ago, he planned on it coming into effect a few years after signing it. It has never come to fruition, yet.

Thankfully she kept her cool. "Try not to call ponies that... It's rather rude and insulting. I realize you might be new to us, but that's no reason to call us names, you know."

"Oh of course Twilight. Why, I would never imagine to say that again! In fact, I would like to never talk in any way reminiscent to that! Because insulting others is totally not what I ever do, or ever want to do, or ever have done. And Fluttershy here is a tree! My oh my, how the world goes around." Twilight wasn't great with sarcasm, as he learned.

Fluttershy spoke up, but was quickly drained out. "Uhm... Actually I'd like to be a-"

"Maybe you shouldn't talk like that either! It's just a slight bit annoying." Travian could only laugh at her troubles with him. "Anyways! Next question! What were you doing to make a manticore attack you?" She muttered something away from him bitterly. "Though I think I know why already..."

"I was actually planning on eating it, but then it started flying." They both looked at him in terror. "What? You can't blame a guy for trying. I know, I know, I wanted to fly first! But it beat me to the punch..." He knew they were gawking at how he just said he wanted to eat it. He just loved messing with them. "Oh okay fine. It's within my nature to eat animals. Stop looking surprised." They stopped, but only to ask him another question.

"Why did you try hunting animals in the Everfree when you could have just gotten some fish by the river?"

"... Oh." He could have done that. "I should have done that." He was probably an idiot. "I'm an idiot." Fluttershy jumped to the opportunity to say he was wrong.

"Oh no, it's okay... We all have these moments."

'When did she get so close to me?' Fluttershy was next to his legs. "When you have these moments, you don't get close to death." He looked away, thinking deeply about his hunger. He raised himself up. "Anyways, I'm probably gonna to go get a fish or two." They both got a clear view of his unclothed body as he arose, causing his suit to fall to the side. They both looked away, a different shade in their cheeks. "You guys don't wear clothes, why should you get so embarrassed over me being naked?"

"Um... Well, usually... Our 'parts' are covered." Travian stood there for a few moments, thinking.

"Oh..." He looked down. "Oh." He looked back up. "Oh! Right!" He quickly got into his suit, one limb at a time. "Alright, you can look now." Then, they looked back at him. "So as I said, I'll just go get a fish." The doctor suddenly rained on his parade.

"Oh don't work yourself too hard!" She paused. "Otherwise your stitches will come apart." Travian simply walked around her, off to get his food.

"I'll be fine. I think." To this day, he had not died once. He was sure he would be fine.

Complications

Chapter 5: Complications

Travian's recovery occurred over a week. He healed extremely quickly due to both his suit and racial ability. If he wanted to compliment the ponies, he would say Flutterdoc's abilities, too. Once he was back to full health, and after minutes of painful questioning which he was able to stealthily avoid for the most part, he finally felt at home in the strange planet. He scored an injury and recovered here, therefore he was at home. He would be here for a long while, or at least he thought. His brother would take a long time to get here due to effort related reasons and difficulty related reasons. He had gotten used to Fluttershy and Twilight, and they got used to him, probably. As soon as he was ready to get out there and do things, though, he tried leaving for a chance at adventure.

In theory, it was grand. In practice, there were several obstacles. "Longshot, where are you going?"

"Going to take a little walk to celebrate my recovery." Fluttershy flew in front of him, blocking his path.

"Oh no you aren't... I mean, um, you know what happened last time!"

"Yet you can see so much of my cares. I'm just taking a stroll, Fluttershy. You don't need to protect me from my own inevitable destruction." He began to side step, but she moved directly in front of him.

"No. I know you are going back into the forest, and I won't allow yourself to get hurt again."

"... Why would I go into the forest if I get fish here?" She looked dumbfounded. Did she seriously not consider that? If he didn't know any better, he would have thought this pony was getting possessive of him.

"Oh. Well I guess it's alright if you take a little walk..." Victory being attained, he headed directly out of her line of sight. Once out of it, he headed towards the Everfree forest. He could get so much out of the experience: Adventure, exploration, vengeance, food. It was technically a win everything.

As soon as he saw the entrance of the forest, he managed to find a cave entrance right off the bat. Doing the completely stupid thing that every greedy adventurer does, he started towards it. He then looked into it, making sure it wasn't a straight drop like so many others in his lifetime. It's hard to find a cave that was actually one of those stereotypical dungeon-esque caves. Surprisingly it wasn't a straight drop down. He engaged light in his visor so he could see basically everything. The cave proceeded down, and so did he. Eventually, it met an end. At that end was something that should not have been there. "... Why would a door be right here?" He shrugged and opened it.

Inside was piles and piles of gold coins and gems. A few strange beings were on the piles of gold. They twisted what he could assume was their heads in his direction. He could see dark red eyes piercing through the darkness directly at him. "If this is a bad time I can just go." They turned back towards each other, as if ignoring Travian. "Oh. Okay, fine. I see how it is." He also assumed that if he touched anything, they would attempt to kill him. Knowing this, he cautiously moved through the room, avoiding any valuable looking thing in the room, including a shiny looking rock on the floor. He noticed the beasts not getting agitated at the way he was avoiding everything. He was doing a good job.

When he shifted his head, however, he felt an extreme sense of greed over one object. A single short yet wide chest. The sense overpowered him, causing him to walk to it slowly as if in a trance. He couldn't stop himself, even with his helmet offering a magical barrier. Apparently, this sense was either by far the most magical thing in the entire universe, or it wasn't magical at all and just had this amazing allure. Either way, he had to have it. It was now everything to him. He didn't care about the creatures. He just wanted the chest. Once he was in sufficient range of the chest, he dropped to his knees. He unlatched the cover, hearing a warning sound emanating behind him. Not taking the warning at all because the chest was all that was grand and great in the world, he threw open the lid of the chest.

Inside was an old relic of his, a longbow with metal aligned along it. 'Longshot' was tarnished on to the metal, giving the rest of it a nicer glow. Next to it was a quiver that was decorated with multiple strands of gleaming metal. Inside was only one arrow, but he knew the quiver. It was the Quiver O' Plenty, or so he called it. Whenever an arrow was pulled out, another would materialize. It was fun to play around with on multiple occasions. The warning sounds grew louder as he drew closer to the bow. He then placed his hands upon both relics, causing a piercing sound to utter itself in to his helmet. He dropped the quiver after grabbing a single arrow. He pivoted his entire body as he arose with the bow in hand.

He wondered for a moment how the bow actually got on to the planet, but then reminded himself the planet was magical. Magic works in strange ways. He nocked the arrow within his hands, and pulled it back with the string. Little did they know their day was about to be made horribad.

After thoroughly investigating the bodies for any clue as to what the creatures were, he took his quiver and slung it firmly across his back. He wasn't interested in the gold, as that was bad luck. Nobody just finds gold and gems in a cave. That never happens. There was always a hidden consequence. In fact, ancient humans were actually smart enough to grasp the concept and called it karma. Now they were some smart apes back then. Unfortunately, they got stupid when they realized money was worth more than happiness and peace. With that thought in mind, he opened the door. He saw the door dissipate before his eyes as he pushed it open. He looked back at the piles of riches to find they were not there anymore. He looked down at his bow, wondering if it was sentient or not to some degree. He didn't know what to expect. The one good thing was that it wasn't talking and judging him like a typical female.

When he got outside the cave, he didn't even realize how much time had passed while he was down there fighting and investigating. The ponies might actually miss him at this rate. He looked to his bow, wondering if he should let them see it. He could have sworn he gave it more thought than 'they are talking horses, how would they know what a bow is?' He smiled and moved on his way. He might have wanted to map out the Everfree, but knowing magic it would change at every drop of a hat. His head then filled with philosophies on magic.

By the time he was done contemplating whether magic truly was something that could be good, his view was obstructed by a wall. A very familiar wall. He took a few steps back, only to find Fluttershy's little cottage. He decided to tell Fluttershy he was back, but was interrupted in his task by a certain purple unicorn. He could feel another questioning session from where he stood. He thought that if he acted like he didn't know she was there, he could get away.

Alas, his plan did not succeed. "Longshot, what do you have on your back?" And so it began.

"You see, I can explain little to nothing. I found it, it was shiny." He tried smiling for reassurance, only to find a helmet over his face. He unlatched it while Twilight was talking.

"... You do realize that thing could be cursed?" Travian laughed, knowing exactly what it was. It wasn't cursed... Probably...

"Oh please. Random shiny things are never cursed!" He took the bow off his back, as well as the quiver, presenting them. "But, if you are so worried, please. Check them." Her horn lit up, but her face did not. In fact, it did the opposite of lighting up.

"These are cursed!" Travian couldn't help but look a little disappointed. He could only guess how they were cursed. "They get rid of every magical essence they touch!" And there it was. Wait...

Travian paused. "And that's bad?"

"Yes! Very!" Travian smiled. Time to play the game.

"Good thing I don't know how to use them!" A lie was necessary. It was also ominous. "And even if I did, I wouldn't use them on you." No guarantees for the rainbow one. She got on Travian's nerves, and he doesn't like people on his nerves... Especially cyan things. He had some sort of irrational hatred and stereotype of all things cyan. If it was cyan, it was stupid and should be drowned in flames, and then the flames should be snuffed out to get rid of all things stupid emanating from them.

"We should try to give these to the princess, so they can't harm anypony." She then gasped. "Oh no! The princess! I forgot to write to her about you!" That was good to hear.

Royalty was most certainly not needed for him. "Wait, a princess? Why not the queen and or king?"

"We don't have kings or queens here in Equestria. Well... Maybe except a few, but in mainland Equestria, we have two princesses. One of them, I am a student to and I'm supposed to write to her about what I've learned about and what has been happening, and I've forgotten to write about you to the princess." He thought for a few seconds.

"So those are just titles to make themselves feel younger." He could feel the rage of Twilight building itself when he said that. "Right! Okay, well, I'll just let you go talk to your princess or whatever and leave you to go tell Fluttershy something and hopefully you will leave me alone about whatever you want." He said all that very quickly. He then started to flee to the safety and deathtrap of the cottage.

He opened the door of the cottage and swan dived in to the house. He arose to his feet and pulled the door back, closing it. He turned to find Fluttershy staring at him. "Hey. I'm back. Found two cursed artifacts that destroy magic. Anyways, I'll just be going out the back door to escape the mistress of knowledge." He walked slowly through the house, looking for the back door.

"Um... What?" He finally found the door. He rushed for it, hearing the front door being opened by Twilight probably. He tried opening the door with all his might, even unlocking the door, but it wouldn't budge.

"No! Magic, why must you make me answer questions? Why!?" He looked to the side to see his bow. "Oh wait." He grabbed the bow off his back and tapped the door with it. He tried the handle and it worked. "Yes! This is the best. Bow. Ever!" Now he knew that tapping hard wood was the solution to getting things to open up to him. He put his bow back on his back. He had to slouch down to pass through the door, but he got through it. He then closed it behind him. His helmet was on a small hook upon his side, meant more for other objects like pouches or as a weapon, but his helmet somehow fit on it. He lifted the helmet off the small hook and then threw it on the ground, knowing no harm would befall it. He then thought over his quiver, seeing how it was cursed. How could the quiver abolish magic and still create arrows?

His bow, while very powerful, was not exactly something he wanted to use for a while. It would just be too easy to live. Not only that, he needed new armor. Armor that wasn't incredibly powerful. He could try leather armor, but that might offend the ponies. He then thought why he bothered caring about that. Not only would it fit the time period these ponies were in, it would be fun to go back to his old style of fighting. He'd keep the quiver though. He needed a skeleton key for every magical door, and a vast quantity of arrows that would never stop is frankly very useful. He couldn't deny that the medical check up ability he had and medical assistance from his suit was more than useful, but it would just be too fast. Plus, if he wanted the trust of the ponies, he would have to have the trust of their doctor. You do not want to mess with the medic, and if they all saw that he was on the medic's good side, then they would flock to him. It was a flawless plan. Another one to add to the collection of plans.

One interesting jog for him was when a white horse with flowing radical hair saw him. It had a crown, a large horn, and a pair of wings. He tried to make himself unseen, but it was too late. Soon enough, said horse somehow teleported in front of him. He rose from his crouched position to find he was only a head or so above it in height. While he had the intimidation factor, it had the ability to teleport. He didn't even have that! That's just cheating. He didn't have his quiver or bow, surprisingly, so he couldn't just demagic it. He tried conversation as that has proven effective before. "Well aren't you a big one."

"The same could be said of you." He learned it was a she. She could have very well been one of those princesses he heard about, what with the whole crown and all. Actually, was it a tiara? He couldn't tell. "Would you happen to be that 'Longshot' character I had heard about before?"

A formal greeting was in order for someone of her stature. He got on one knee, and put his head down. "I am Travian 'Longshot' Zashaisr. At your service, miss..."

"Celestia. Please, rise. There's no need to be formal around me." Relieved that this wasn't a princess, he rose. "I heard that you were a carnivore who could threaten my little ponies." Or maybe she was.

"I could be."

"You are, aren't you?"

"You're a princess, and I'm in trouble aren't I?"

"Yes, I'm a princess, but you might not be in trouble, just as long as you answer my questions honestly." He almost shouted yes in victory. Then she added the word honest. That's not good. But wait... Maybe she won't be able to detect lies as easily! He almost shouted yes to his thoughts in moderate satisfaction. By almost, he accidentally did.

"YES!" he looked awkwardly at the 'Celestia' character, "I am a carnivore who could very well threaten your civilians. I assure you, however, I will not. My code says no sentients. They are too smart and or disgusting to eat." Neither of those were particularly true. Humans were not of the first, and possibly of the second. It really depended on the situation...

"What I really want to know is why you're here."

"I wonder that myself." He put up his best poker face. His helmet was off, so she could see it perfectly well.

"You know lying isn't going to get you anywhere."

"I tried. Now as to why I am here... I believe I was thrown here, in an attempt to assassinate me. Unfortunately, they failed. And here I am, standing here next to you."

She paused, thinking about what he said. "Somepony was trying to assassinate you?"

"Yeah. Happens a lot."

"Why would that be?" Oh. That 'honest' word would have to come into effect, huh?

"When you live the life of a man putting his life out there to take lives out for money, often times they will take your life instead of you taking their money." She pondered something

"So you are a mercenary?"

A thought crossed Travian. "Celestia, are you trying to hire me to get rid of something... Or someone?"

"What? No! It'd just be nice to know..." If that wasn't ominous, he didn't know what was. He would not go back to his old ways, no way, no how. At least, not with these ponies. They were too nice and adorable. But still... Money is money...

"Well then yes. I am a mercenary." He chose his next words carefully. "I am not in business, as of right now, as I am slightly stuck on in a place I can't get out of for the moment. When I find a way to leave, I will offer my services." She could never find a way for him to leave the planet.

Celestia had a thoughtful expression upon her face. "And what if I could get you a way out of here?" She had a way, didn't she?

All In Good Time

Chapter 6: All In Good Time

Travian stared at the white horse in front of him. He had a lot to think about. He could never kill something on this planet! Surely, she didn't want a pony dead... She seemed like the kind of ruler they'd look up to. She was white, had nice flowing hair, and had a sweet motherly voice. Here she was, potentially offering him a job. This was just... Wrong. He couldn't accept, could he? But that inner rouge inside him told him to do it. Lives don't matter much, do they? Money does! Money could get him everything he could ever need, right? Also, he had to kill that dastardly commander who attempted to kill him. Not any of his crew, just him. He was an assassin, not a crazed gunmen. One's a job, the other's mental sickness. A mental sickness his brother has.

The silence was broken when he said, "Nah. I have something on my mind," also known as a treacherous human to collect his debt from, "and I'm certain I won't need you to get out of this place. Sorry if I may not assist you, 'princess', but I will not resort to killing things just yet. I can still live a different life." No he couldn't, but no one could blame him for trying. He already racked up at least five kills upon this planet. He was beginning to get attached, too.

"Well... Since I can't convince you, it seems, why don't we talk about something else? I heard you came within possession of two cursed items. Is this true?" Plan A was a go at this point.

"What? Who would ever tell you that? I don't even know a thing about curses."

"My student, who was able to tell me only a few things about you, but that was one of the things." Plan B was a go, it seemed.

"I don't know about any object like that then."

"Really? You know, after you live for as long as I do, you can tell a lie." She was good. Too good. Travian gave up trying to lie his way past the ultimate lie detector. Though, as old as he was, he could say the same.

"Fine! I have a few magical or cursed things, so what? It's not like they can cause mass harm."

"They can actually, if I saw the report right."

"Oh. Well in my hands, they won't!" No guarantees, of course.

"I'd rather trust my magical archives as a better and more safe place to keep them." He would have to think very hard to get past this. Then again... He could say the truth. That was difficult though. His conviction for these items was high and mighty.

He prepared his next sentence with said conviction. "The only hands they belong in are mine." He let loose a sigh of defeat, finally spilling the beans, as it were. "They were relics from a time long ago that once belonged to me. I don't know how they found me. Maybe it's because I am cursed myself. Honestly, I don't know. But I know they are mine, and mine alone." He tried to stand tall, but his defeat at the hands at a horse were severely damaging to his self-esteem. Not like he had any, but eh. It helped to think he had a major amount.

Thankfully, Celestia isn't a supreme dictator of evil and resigned. "Fine. I'll trust you to hold on to them for me." That wasn't part of the plan. "Until then, what means do you have of leaving Equestria? You mentioned you wouldn't need my help."

Before he could stop himself, he said the real reason. "My brother." She lifted an eyebrow at him. "He has the means to go anywhere and everywhere anytime he wants. So long as he feels the need to. Unless he is barred off by magic, which this planet is full of. For him to appear for even an ounce of a second, I would need to be in serious peril. Then again, that hasn't worked too well in the past." He couldn't really rely on his brother too well. He would need to fend for himself.

"You have an interesting family, I suppose."

"Correction: My only family. Every other member of our family is long gone." Well, actually only their parents and their predecessors, but that's besides the point.

"Well that's unfortunate." Travian felt as though she were partially heartless.

"Indeed." He looked from left to right. "So if you're done with me, can I go? Kind of got ancient artifacts to utilize." Self defense was key against teleporting giant white horses. Cheating can only be beat by cheating, after all. That or extreme skill, which he possessed to a minor degree.

"Go ahead. But know I will be keeping good watch on you." Many options were out of the window for Travian now.

"Kay." Travian turned around and walked his way to the cottage, leaving the princess behind. Eventually, he made his way to the cottage. He always explored in the direction opposite of the town, Ponyville, to avoid detection. He would rather not have the whole pony world know about his existence. That would be catastrophic. He would have to maintain a good reputation. He knew he couldn't actually do that. He looked around the back of the cottage to find his bow where he placed it. "Hey Fluttersky, I'm home!" He had fun messing up her name on purpose and on accident.

He slumped down upon the wall. He then realized he had just spoken to this royalty as though it were a common plebeian. "Oh. That's not good. I probably didn't do well for first impressions... Oh well." He beamed with happiness, just glad to be with his bow and quiver. He loved to smile as he could feel his teeth better. And it freaked everyone out. Also, he was told to be physically, mentally, and clinically insane, but that was a bold-faced lie. He could never be insane-- Ever.

Suddenly, he felt a shift in his environment. Something was horribly wrong. Nothing on the ground was wrong. He looked up, to see the sky looking relatively normal. "Wait... Was that cloud there before?" He whispered. He picked up his bow and pulled an arrow out of his boundless quiver, watching as another materialized before his eyes. He nocked the arrow, and took steady aim at the new cloud that appeared out in the blue. He pulled back the arrow, getting ready to fire. He decided to not fire at the center of the cloud, and shifted his aim to the left. He then let go of the arrow, watching it soar through the sky. It shot through the cloud, somehow instantly destroying it. What came from the cloud, however, did not please him.

The cyan menace appeared before him. "Woah!" She started falling out of the sky. It appeared as if she were trying to spy on him. Maybe she always was. After all, she messed up this one time. "You could have killed me!" She recovered from her plummet and was a few meters away from Travian. "Wait, that's how that thing works?" She was an annoyance in his day. Travian wondered what would happen if he tapped that flying horse with his bow. He could totally tap that.

"Yes to both your statements. Yeah, I could have killed you. Yeah, that's how it works. Fortunately, you can't touch it." She was in his face by the time he finished that statement.

"Oh? And just why can't I touch it?"

"This object kills magic instantly if it touches anything. Don't believe me?" He took the bow and tapped a single pink and purple flower. Suddenly, it's petals turned into a grayish color. "Now that is what it does. So can you just leave me to do my thing?"

Unfortunately, his intimidation could not pierce the seven mile thick skull of this pony. "Nuh uh. Twilight told me to watch you, and that's what I'm gonna do." She realized her mistake after she said it. "I mean, I'm interested in you!" She blushed for a second then shook herself. "I mean, you're suspicious!"

Travian was more than a little baffled at what she just said. "What?" He caught the Twilight bit, but the other words got garbled.

"Nothing!" She gasped and came really close to Travian. "Are you a spy?"

Travian took quite a long pause. "A spy... of whose, exactly?"

"Anypony's!"

Travian face palmed. "No. I am not a spy, at least as of right now. I just kind of want to live here for a little while." A little while was an understatement, if his judgement of his brother was correct. "Look, I'll let you get back to spying on me. I got somewhere to be."

"And where would that be?"

"A giant, dangerous forest. Gotta find some fallen log. Wouldn't suggest following me unless you want to slow me down." His choice of words may not have been the greatest since it seemed to make the rainbow devil even angrier at him.

"Slow you down? Please! If anything, you'd slow me down." Travian rolled his eyes in his helmet.

"Alright. Tell you what. You can come with me. In fact, I'll rely on you. I will leave my things here." He dropped his bow, causing the green grass around it to gray. He then went around his head to unlatch the helmet. "If you can catch up, I'll trust you." The first person he would place his trust in on this planet would be the rainbow menace. At least, supposedly. This would go smoothly and he could pull his up as a joke later. He could also use it as an excuse to tell him that he doesn't trust her. It was a completely and one hundred percent opaque plan that was bound to work.

Rainbow Dash nodded her head, as if accepting a challenge. Apparently, everything was a competition to her. For her to challenge him in the forest, though... It was not the greatest of moves on her part. Admittedly, he was out of practice and even then was suited to a more marshy setting instead of a jungle setting, but that didn't mean he couldn't pick it up quickly. The flying horse flew up to a cloud. "Tell me when you're ready to go." Travian started removing the various plates on his suit. It would make him light weight and completely unprotected, something he would normally never do. Of course, he had his pisto- He checked twice.

His pistol, as he forgot, was lost against the manticore. One of the only good things was that he felt as though he could do any athletic feat. He would have to get used to the lack of weight and helmet. "Ready when you are, Dash." He started walking towards the forest. He felt a presence above him, and looked up to see a cyan pony.

"Are we really gonna go this slow?" She was looking down at him with a bored expression.

"Well then fine! If you want to, we can go fast." He started to speed up. Eventually, he ended up sprinting. He looked to his side to see a snoring Rainbow Dash. "Oh, I don't doubt you're fast. I doubt you can use your head, eyes, and surroundings like me." She just yawned, showing that he must have been sluggish. He was relatively fast without his plates, easily out speeding a normal human. Obviously, this pony was like a jet if this was slow.

Suddenly a tree passed him, making Rainbow Dash wake up. He jumped at a tree's trunk and used his claws to climb to a branch. "So we're just looking for a log?" Travian smirked, knowing what would happen next.

"Yep. This is where it gets fun." He jumped forth, grabbing a stray vine. He could finally release his inner monkey. Of course, he was more lizard than ape, but he was still a humanoid in shape. At least, so he thought. Maybe he had an inner reptile that told him to just laze about all day in the sun, bathing in the warmth... Wait. He did that more often than he'd like to admit. Maybe he really did not have an inner monkey.

He swung on the vine, feeling the wind grace him. He let go at the right moment, letting him get to another branch. He ran forth on the branch, jumping off of it to the next one. Rainbow was no where in sight, showing that he lost her. "Yes! Fina-"

She was there, just staring at him. "You have really weird ways of getting around." Travian jumped off the branch on to the ground. He landed softly in patch of blue flowers. That were kind of soft.

"Righto. It seems you can keep up."

"More than that." What a braggart. He'd have to mark another reason to hate cyan things on his list!

"Well, you can just go shut your face. At least I tried! And it was fun trying, to be honest. I should try trying more." Of course, his element was ruined when some wooden wolves managed to sneak around them and surround both of them. "Oh hey! A situation where I can try!" A single wooden wolf charged at him from behind, snapping down on the back of his leg. "And... I just got out... Of the hospital." Pain was more a problem since his suit wasn't functioning properly. Also, he didn't have any plates to stop the teeth. Really, the suit was nothing without the plates or the helmet. Why'd he put his trust into the blue one, again?

However, the wolf disappeared as a wave of light blue washed past him. Rainbow Dash was at his side in an instant. "Hey? You okay?" Travian let his leg speak for that question. "Hello? You there?" Maybe she didn't get body language so well. Travian shuddered in the coldness that was now enveloping him. His vision was fading, as well.

"I'm... Fine." No, he wasn't, but showing weakness was not the way of the old. He had to be strong, even in these situations that he gets himself into.

Recovery

Chapter 7: Recovery

Travian awoke to the sound of soft humming. He saw a certain yellow winged pony enter the room, who was most likely the culprit of the humming. He looked down to see his leg wrapped in cloth. He then remembered he got injured. Again. It really brought down his mood, what with the whole lack of walking. He instead put his head down and hoped he could get some sleep or a form of entertainment. A bright idea popped into his head at that moment.

"Hello Flutterpsy, have you seen my helmet?"

"It should be on the floor right next to the couch." She had gotten used to him messing up her name.

"Thanks babe, you're a real help." Of course, Fluttershy hadn't gotten used to his weird words she had never heard before. She could only assume it was either a compliment or an insult. Probably an insult because she's a female. He bent over the side of the couch to find his helmet. When he picked it up, he thought of just engaging in a conversation with his armor while it heals him.

However, when he attempted to latch it, it would never connect. He would try again and again, but no matter what he did he couldn't connect. "Heh... What a sick joke." Then he realized how serious the situation actually was. "Oh. Oh no." He started panicking, something he never did much of. "Please no! No! I don't want to lose you! You were my only companion!" He kept trying to latch the helmet, but it would never work.

Fluttershy was noticing his panic as he was getting rather loud. In fact, she went out of her way to face him with a worried face. "Is something wrong?" Her voice was very quiet.

"Yes, something's wrong! It won't latch on! I wont have this glorious lady on my head in my head anymore!" He tried furiously to latch it together. It would never work.

"... You have a lady in your head and on your head? And your helmet is a lady?" He didn't tell anyone about his helmet. At least in depth. He just hinted he was insane, which of course he was...n't.

"Yes, and technically yes. And now it won't fit... Which means..." His life instantly got worse. He used the helmet for a conversational partner to prevent him from going either completely silent again or to keep him from insanity. Now he would have to talk to something else with conversations about everything. He dropped the helmet back on to the floor. "Which means nothing of much concern."

"You... Um... Well your face really didn't tell me that..."

"Well your face is pretty, but nobody ever comments on that!" He was frustrated at the moment, and directed his anger into raged compliments. She blushed with a confused expression.

"Um... Thanks?"

"You're most welcome, you beautiful little thing you!" She blushed yet again, but stayed her tongue. She probably figured out what he was doing, or was too confused to try to speak. Either way, he laid back down, trying to calm himself. It really got to his head that one of his most loved companions was essentially gone. He didn't mind the fact that he wouldn't heal for some time, he just wanted a voice to listen to. A voice to talk to, that was all. His head was surging at all the facts racing past him. He had to close his eyes and hold his head.

Then a voice appeared in the chaotic darkness, somehow making to serene and calm. "Um... Longshot, are you going to be okay?" He removed the hands from his head and kept his eyes closed.

"With you there, I believe I'll be just fine." He heard a gasp. "I mean, you there as in talking to me. You're currently keeping me at a normal attitude instead of a panicked one right now because of your voice." He opened his eyes, thoroughly calmed. "All it takes is a few voices like yours in my head, and I'll be fine."

"That's... Weird. Oh! Sorry, I don't want you to think-"

"It's fine. I understand the concept is foreign. I've tried explaining it to humans, but they never understand. It has its downsides though..." Namely the amount of horrifying voices that get stuck in his head. He has an excellent memory of those. "So how long until I get to leave this couch here?"

"With the way you've recovered before, I'd say a week or so."

"Oh right. About that... You see, the helmet helped clear out some damage. It shortened the healing period into a small amount of time." He winced, thinking that his words would hurt Fluttershy because she most likely took pride in such a short recovery.

"Oh, well that's okay. I'd say... Two weeks then?" Fluttershy officially earned a single point with Travian. She wasn't mad at him for something like that, or even sad.

"You can have a single point."

"... What point?" An explanation was in order.

"I use a system of points with people. Some people get points, some lose points. Actually, most lose points. However, you have gained a single point, and therefore have the highest score in all the land. Congratulations!" That brought a smile to both of their faces. Travian then decided it was nap time. He bid Fluttershy a fair night.

He didn't awaken to any noise or change in his environment when he arose from his slumber. Instead, he saw that Fluttershy was out yet again. He was alone in the house, which meant he could do as he pleased. He then remembered his injury. His day would be ruined by his lack of mobility. He then started thinking of previous memories to pass the time.

Of course, Fluttershy would be back before the day was out. Something was wrong though. Something was horribly wrong with how the door didn't close just as she entered. "I'm home!" she said. She wasn't the only one home, though.

"Great to hear." His reply should have sounded more sarcastic, but he couldn't have been bothered. When she entered the room with the couch he was laying on, though, she didn't come alone as expected. Behind her was the cyan devil. "Oh please no." He whispered that to himself.

"Hey, buddy! I just, um... Wanted to see how you were doing."

"Do I look like I'm doing good or bad? Honestly, I couldn't tell, what with the whole leg thing." Sarcasm was a great medicine.

"I think you might be doing fine, but I'm not a doctor." He was about to retort when she said, "Anyways, I came by to ask you if you still trust me."

"Wait, what?"

"You know, you said that if I could keep up with you, you'd trust me, and I did. Doesn't that make me your trust buddy?" Why he made that deal with her he would never know. He had so many memories, yet that was not one he could find.

"When did I say that?"

"Yesterday. Don'cha remember?" Memories would be so much easier to remember if he had a helmet.

"Not really, no. So wait, I'm supposed to trust you now?"

"Well, yeah. You did say that. Unless... Were you lying?" The most truthful and easy answer would have been yes. He had to keep up his reputation though of being untrustworthy.

"No. When did I have a reason to lie?" None could destroy that. It was his trump card.

"Applejack said she hardly trusted anything you said, and you're actually very secretive, so I think you have a lot of reasons to lie." This was the way of things. Of course his trump card would fail. Time to resort to distractions.

"Well you're a pony!" The two ponies in the room stared at him. "Which means you're small!" They continued the stare. "Which means... I guess you guys have smaller brains?" Yet again he created an inescapable situation for himself.

"Are you discriminating against all of us?"

"No no no no no... I'm only discriminating against yo- The air!" He really had to stop creating these problems.

"So you're just making fun of me? Oh, I see how it is. So you're just one of those jerks!" He can't be a jerk. He isn't even a human.

"Excuse me? I'm not a jerk. I'm just a male of my race. Simple."

"So you're saying guys are all like you?"

"Yes and no. There are plenty of them that discriminate and are green, but I'm the only one for you." He was able to absorb her reaction before rapidly changing the subject. "Anyways, it was great seeing you and all, but I seriously need to recover from an injury that could have been worse if not for you, yada yada yada, now can you leave? Kay thanks." He saw Rainbow Dash be completely baffled at what he said before she opened her mouth to speak. By then though, he already closed his eyes and rolled over on the couch.

"What? I don't... What, I... Wait woah, what?" Travian tried to escape by not saying anything. "We aren't done with this, you hear? Not by a... Long... Shot... Oh, I think I get it now." He didn't think she got it. All the same, she left the house. Travian recalled memories for the time he was awake. When he was sleeping though, he attempted to create new memories from scratch. It was a hobby of his.

A few days later, a white unicorn appeared in the household along with Fluttershy. "So he's injured? Hmm... I guess that's a problem, should he actually allow me to do it." This white unicorn didn't even take notice of Travian.

"Oh I'm sure Longshot will agree... After all, he's probably getting tired of using the same set everyday." What they were talking about was a mystery, but he could piece together a few things.

"Hello ladies, I'm right here. No need for the whole 'let's ignore him while we are in the same room as him' thing." He waved his hand at them.

"Oh! Hello there... Longshot, was it? Sorry if I ignored you, it was just that I was engaged in a conversation with Fluttershy about something I am most passionate about." The glamour and the nobleness. It was disgusting to Travian as he could taste it from where he lay.

"And that would be?" Fluttershy was the one to respond.

"She wanted to know if you would like a new pair of clothes. You know... If you wanted." New clothes? He could finally become his old alias! Longshot would become his actual identity instead of a false name abandoned long ago.

"Why, yes! Yes, that sounds marvelous! I already have my ideas in mind." The white one responded to this.

"That is extraordinary to hear! But of course, I'm going to need measurements and your ideas." Of course it would need that. That was why he hated custom clothes. They always had to be 'just right'.

"Gimme a pencil and a piece of paper and I'll draw it." He was overjoyed he could draw again. It was a thing he found rather fun. He wasn't the best at it, but he could give a general idea as to what he wanted to show.

"That was easier than expected. You actually seemed like somehow who despised clothing or fashion in general."

"Oh I do, it's just that new clothes would be nice. Plus, someone can change in any given time." No they can't, but he had to act differently around different people. He needed less enemies and more friendly neutral people. His wording actually made the situation awkward.

"Wait... You want new clothes, but you hate clothes?"

"Hate is a strong word. I would say... I moderately dislike upper class over complicated clothing. Something simple and protective is more my style."

"Well... I'll be sure to make a note of that... Anyways, I guess I should be off. Fluttershy and I actually have a visit to the spa we need to do. Get well soon, Longshot."

"Good luck with the date!" Thankfully, none of them turned around at that. Instead, they just straightened up and he thought he saw Fluttershy blush. It was way to easy to do that, now that he thought about it. He took a step back from the material world and went to his mental list of things to do/avoid. Rainbow Dash was added on the avoid list, and get measurements and drawing to the white unicorn was on there as well. Wait... He forgot her name! He should have asked her. Another objective was added to the list. He saw that he was living a relatively peaceful life. Only a few weeks here, and only around two or three near death instances. Two cursed artifacts as well. He thought he should take after his brother and get even more artifacts.

A One-Way Ticket

Chapter 8: A One-Way Ticket

Travian's recovery went swimmingly, and his designs for his new clothes were sent to the unicorn, Rarity, as he learned her name was. Eventually, he could move his leg and it felt absolutely wonderful to move himself. When he first moved his leg, with instruction from the fantastic doctor, it moved normally and checked as A-okay. It was a glorious moment for him. That was until his foot graced something on the floor. It was his helmet. He picked it up after quite a long time. His conversational need was fulfilled by Fluttershy so he was quite sure he wasn't going insane. In case his helmet was simply misbehaving last time, he decided to try it yet again.

Unfortunately, it still didn't work. He could not let the technology fall into the hands of these ponies. Or possibly even their hooves. He took the helmet off his head and carried it with him. He went outside, and found his spot behind the cottage. His bow and quiver were still there with the dead grass around them. He threw the helmet on to the bow, most likely dissuading anybody from taking it.

With himself fully repaired, this was the perfect chance to go exploring the forest again. He couldn't resist another chance at injury and discovery. His doom called to him, however, when Fluttershy noticed him looking in the direction of the forest. "You're not thinking of going back in there, are you?" His plans were half-way foiled.

But just at that moment, something occurred to him. He was openly seeking danger. He spent a lot of his time on this planet injured, and he was seeking even more down time. He really wondered why. Was it because the ponies were getting to him? Did he want to be near them? His head made the answer before he could decide. He sighed before he said, "No. I don't think I will." Maybe he could get a new life... "I've been thinking on something. What if I were to go into that town... Ponyville?" He thought about it maybe once, but it was something on his mind.

"Oh... I don't know..."

"It's worth a shot, right?" It was worth a single shot. In fact, one could say a shot fired across quite a distance. Too much of a distance to be considered short or medium.

"Well... I guess it could be, but-"

"Great! Let's go." It didn't feel right not letting her explain her reasons and treating her like a door mat, but he would never have gotten anywhere without that ability.

"Oh... Okay. I'll just go get Angel and I'll be right out." Angel, as he had learned, was that rude bunny. Of course, intimidation is an effective mean of getting rid of rudeness, so long as kindness doesn't work. She came back out with the rabbit and they headed out to the little town.

Fluttershy and Travian had walked into the town to find it nearly deserted. "Huh. Is the town usually this quiet?"

"If something is going on, everypony's probably there. Either that, or they are just avoiding you... Oh I'm sorry I didn't-"

"You don't need to apologize for my sexiness. I understand it drives everyone away." He didn't really consider himself sexy, but he needed some ridiculous reason for the lack of ponies which he was promised. Then Travian heard something in the distance. There was a single gasp.

"Are these what I think they are?" There was an uh followed by that.

"Yes, yes, yes! Twilight's taking me to the Grand Galloping Gala in Canterlot!" Travian blanked out at the amount of pony puns, purposely prompting him to protect his head from putrid stupidity. That was among one of the strangest things he had ever heard. Another gasp.

"The gala? I design ensembles for the Gala every year, but I've never had the opportunity to attend. Oh, the society, the culture, the glamour, it's where I truly belong, and where I'm destined to meet him!" Travian begged not to hear more. That sounded like Rarity, and if he knew her, that was something she was passionate about. Her passion causes huge monologues sometimes that are best left unsaid.

"Him!" There was a pause. "Who?"

"Him. I would stroll through the gala, and everyone would wonder who is that mysterious mare?" Travian begged for his helmet. If there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was a woman going off about something. "They would never guess that I was just a simple pony from little old Ponyville. Why, I would cause such a sensation that I would be invited to an audience with Princess Celestia herself!" Royalty and nobility does not work that way. She continued. "And the princess would be so taken with the style and elegance that she would introduce me to him! Her nephew, the most handsome, eligible unicorn stallion in Canterlot!" Travian was being overwhelmed by the cliches of sappy romantic stuff. It was crushing his sanity with such force. "Our eyes would meet... Our hearts would melt... Our courtship would be magnificent!" So she was the type that preferred money and looks over actual character? Travian made a mental note to look his worst and keep poor. "He would ask for my hoof in marriage,"

"Please no..."

"What is it, Longshot?" Fluttershy had to ask. Rarity, however, continued.

"And of course I would say... YES! We would have a royal wedding, befitting a princess,"

"No no no..." Travian couldn't handle this.

", which is what I would become upon marrying him, the stallion of my dreams!"

"You don't even know his name!"

"I don't know who's name?" Fluttershy obviously was deaf.

"It's... Nothing." Rarity continued her verbal siege.

"Twilight, I simply cannot believe you would invite Pinkie Pie so she can... Party... And prevent me from meeting my true love!" She seemed to stop the whole her loving the other guy thing there. "How could you?"

"Thank the gods that ended..." He looked down at Fluttershy. He then noticed her rabbit missing. "Hey, where's Angel?" Suddenly, he saw a little rabbit with two yellow tickets in its mouth speed its way across Fluttershy. It then presented the tickets before Fluttershy. She gasped.

"Angel, these are perfect!" The conversation over a ways then picked up again.

"Uh... Listen guys, I haven't decided who to give the extra ticket to..."

"You haven't?" Both of the other voices were included in that question. Travian turned around to see where the conversation actually came from. It was just a little jaunt out of the way.

"Hey, Fluttercry... I think the tickets came from over there."

"Oh! We should actually go see if these are there's..." The two of them walked over there while the pink pony and Rarity were staring at Twilight.

"Hey... If those are so perfect, you should ask for them... Maybe, just maybe you'll be able to go." Travian whispered to her.

"Um... Excuse me, Twilight, I would just like to ask... I mean, if it would be alright, if you haven't given it to someone else..." Travian was kind of disappointed. Usually, she's a lot more confident! I guess it's around society she really doesn't shine. Then Rarity made some sort of look at her that Travian did not really appreciate.

"You?! You want to go to the gala?"

"Oh... No..." Angel thumped Fluttershy's leg quite a bit, while Travian lifted an eyebrow. "I mean, yes! Or actually kind of... You see... It's not so much the Grand Galloping Gala as it is the wondrous private gated garden that surrounds the dance. The flowers are said to be the most wonderful and fragrant in all of Equestria!" Travian was not appeased by the sounds of the Grand Galloping Gala. "For the night of the gala, and that night only would they be in bloom."

"How do they even do that?" Travian had to ask. The answer was probably magic.

"Oh... Well I guess magic? Or maybe the flowers are so smart they know just when to come out! Oh, and that's just the flora! Don't get me started on the fauna!" Travian slightly begged for her not to get started. While her voice was nice enough to listen to, he really could not stand a woman speaking all about something for hours on end. "There's loons and toucans and bitterns, oh my! Hummingbirds that can really hum, and buzzards that can really buzz!" He only knew what a buzzard was. Otherwise, he didn't know what she was talking about. Buzzards could also buzz. This was news to him. "White blue jays, and red jays and green jays. Pink jays, and pink flamingos!" What in the world was a jay or a flamingo? He seriously did not know a lot about animals on foreign planets. Somewhere along the lines of her saying all those animal names, she was hugging Angel and holding him in the air.

"Gee, Fluttershy. It sounds... Beautiful?" Twilight had to ruin it, didn't she? Suddenly, out of the blue came another shade of blue.

"Wait just a minute!"

"Oh please no! Not her!" He couldn't stop himself.

"Rainbow! Were you following me?"

"No! I mean, yes. I mean, maybe! Look it doesn't matter! I couldn't risk a goody four-shoes giving that ticket away to just anybody, especially him!" She pointed a hoof at Travian.

"Racism, man. You can't escape it." Yet again, another pony out of nowhere. The orange one with a strange accent then appeared.

"Wait jus' another minute!"

"Applejack, were you following me too?"

"With the rate it's been going Twilight, I think everyone's following you."

"What? No, I wasn't followin' Twilight, I was followin' this one to make sure she didn' try any funny bus'niss!" She pointed a hoof at Rainbow. "Still tryin' to take ma ticket."

"Your ticket?!" Rainbow was pointed a hoof at Applejack.

"Oh please no... I've said that way too much today."

"But Twilight's taking me!" Everything they all said converged into endless rabble and chatter. It ticked Travian off way too much to hear all the noise. He decided to shout above them all.

"Silence!" "Quiet!" The two yells sounded out, making everyone dead silent, except for the pink one.

"And then I said oatmeal, are you craz-" She then looked at the rest of them and hushed. Travian couldn't resist.

"They probably were crazy... I mean, yes! Let us listen to our leader, Twilight."

Twilight began. "Thank you. Now girls, there is no use in arguing-" Rarity came forward.

"But Twilight-"

"Eh! This is my decision, and I'm gonna make it on my own, and I certainly can't think straight with all this noise." Her stomach growled. "Not to mention hunger. Now go on! Shoo!" Everyone started leaving, so Travian followed suit. "And don't worry," she added, "I'll figure this out! Somehow..." Travian knew she wouldn't. He looked down to see Fluttershy rather discouraged. His mood was brought down because of that. He wanted to think of a way for Fluttershy to go because she wanted to so badly.

Then he glanced forward a small bit to see a tiny purple lizard. "Who are you?" Travian asked, getting a sort off excited yelp from the little lizard. It appeared like another lizardman, only purple... And like a baby. A rather chubby baby.

Then the tiny lizard person got a good look of Travian. "Woah...  You're big... Are you... Are you a dragon too?"

"What? How can you confuse me with a dragon? Do I look like I have wings?"

"Not all dragons... Have wings..." It seemed as though Travian were very intimidating to the young one.

"Give an example and I'll believe you."

"You're looking at one." Travian started to giggle at the absurdity. "No, really! I can breathe fire! Look." He then... Spat fire out of his mouth. Travian was impressed.

"Color me impressed because I just saw a good example. Well." He wanted to change the subject. "Aren't you a little bit small to be a dragon?"

"I'm a baby dragon, so I don't think so." Travian noted that. He then noticed something horrifying.

"Where were you hatched?"

"Oh... I think it was in Canterlot."

"How were you hatched?"

"Twilight hatched me with magic, I think." This was a horrible thing indeed. The ponies had an arsenal of dragons that were under their complete control. To think they would endorse freedom! No sentient race is without slaves. Ever.

"Hey... Just a quick question, how do you think Fluttershy could get in possession of those tickets?" He brought himself down to talk quietly to him.

"Um... Well, she could try cleaning the library."

"Great! Thanks!" Suddenly, a Twilight called for her servant.

"Spike!" Spike then ran off in the direction of Twilight. Travian took this time to walk over to Fluttershy.

"So I may have an idea of how you can get the ticket."

"Really?" Fluttershy was in his face at this point, more than willing to listen to his idea.

Travian made his way back home, and as he left the vicinity of the town, he noticed some ponies actually leaving their houses. "Racism... I tell you what, it ain't easy being green." He really didn't enjoy the racism. He had to verbally express it to himself just because it made him feel more right and better. The day was out when Fluttershy came back home. He had to know how his plan worked.

"'Ay girl, how did it go?"

"Oh it went wonderfully! As it happened, the princess had tickets for all of us!" Angel had two tickets.

"So are you and Angel going? I imagine the gardens must be like a whole 'nother party for him." He was just laying back on the cottage, chilling where it was actually chilling. That's one of his issues. He's cold blooded and hot blooded, meaning he can get heat from his blood, but it was mostly from the sun or clothing.

"Oh... Well actually I was hoping you could come..." The look she gave him. It was so adorable.

"That's... News. I'll be sure to try to make time for it. Knowing me, though, the hospital will say no."

"Maybe they'll make just one teensy little exception."

"Perhaps."

A Whole New Look

Chapter Nine: A Whole New Look

Travian found himself in a place he was unfamiliar with. It was some place he did not fall asleep in. In fact, he should have woken up outside. Normally, he would say he woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but this was not the case. It seemed he slept on the wrong side of the couch. A very familiar couch. One of which he has been companions with for quite some time.

"Flutters, why am I on your couch?" Fluttershy appeared.

"Oh! Um... I think you walked in and fell on it? I mean, fell asleep on it?" She sounded suspicious, but knowing Fluttershy it probably was just her shyness kicking her to the curb as it normally did.

"Oh. Mmkay then. Seems legitimate." He arose from his old friend, welcoming the opportunity to use his legs. "I'll just head out now. Maybe stalk around the outskirts of the town." That could be fun. Maybe the adults would tell the children stories about how if they didn't go to sleep, he would arrive in the middle of the night. That would be absolutely swell.

When he opened the door, something seemed odd about the air. As if he weren't alone. He didn't pay that much attention as he had somewhere he needed to be. As he approached Ponyville, however, the presence grew more noticeable. Before he could think of what the presence was, he remembered his clothes he needed to check on with Rarity. He slapped his head in a face palm maneuver.

His face palm was interrupted by a rainbow racing up to him, nearly knocking him off his feet. "Wha-?" He tried balancing himself, but fell to the ground instead. It was time for questions. "Why? Under what circumstances do you feel the need to shove yourself at me?"

"We need to have our little talk! I told you it wasn't over." That was what she wanted. A talk.

"... Which one?"

"You said something about you being the only one for me! And you skipped over the important detail of me saving you. Remember now?" Travian could remember just barely. He looked at his mental lists, but only to find 'avoid Rainbow Dash' on one of them. He probably had a good reason, and this was that reason. At least, most likely. He was rather forgetful about such trivial things.

"Not really, no. To be honest, I don't remember saying I'm the only one for you." A lie, yet again. "And I don't believe I skipped that detail..." He couldn't help but notice her cyan coat. It actually reminded him of something from ages past. Something involving an idiot wearing light blue armor in the middle of a desert. It kind of set his standard that everyone who wears any sort of light blue is slightly stupid. Of course, he could be wrong, but that was besides the point.

"Uh, yes you did! You skipped it entirely. And I remember you saying that you apparently thought I was stupid. What kind of jerk are you? You're just calling me names behind my back, I bet!"

"Um..." She figured it out! He had to protect the truth from her. "I have no idea what you're even talking about, let alone what you are saying."

"Is it because I got rainbow hair? Is it because I'm just so much more awesome then you?"

"Actually, it's cause of your cyan coat." He let the words slip before he could stop himself. This made Rainbow Dash astonished.

"How can you not like cyan?!"

"I remember somebody wearing cyan in the middle of a desert. I mean, seriously. Who even thinks of doing that? So that basically set the standard for me that all cyan is stupid. Sorry if I'm so horribly wrong."

"You're saying we ponies are racist, but you're just hating on me because of the color of my coat?" Travian would need a devastating amount of ice for that burn.

"Hmm... Well when you put it like that, I guess I am a little bit of a jerk. Tell you what, since you apparently earned my trust, I'm going to apologize. But I'm going to apologize in my own way." Rainbow Dash pondered for a few moments. She then shrugged, signalling him to do what he wanted. He got on one knee and then said, "Baby, please! I am so... So sorry about what happened! Look, she was coming on to me faster than I could stop her, an' I know you care 'bout me so much! Just please, girl, listen to me! I am so very very VERY sorry for what I did! I just couldn't stop her... An' I'm sorry for that too. Can you ever find it within your heart to forgive me, lady?"

Rainbow Dash looked at him in almost complete disgust. "Um... Ew?! Are you saying you're in a relationship with me?"

"In your dreams, and I gotta make sure that stays intact." He winked while he got up from his knee.

"Excuse me, but you're not my type at all!"

"Hey, I can be a fabulous chick if I like! You don't tell me what to do." This was a straw he just drew. In fact, if you take a look at the cup, many of the straws have been drawn. In fact, almost all of them.

"Are... Are you saying I'm gay?" Travian was in dangerous waters around seven feet under the ground.

"... No. I mean, I guess you can be happy if you like, but you seem rather upset now. Dunno why. I guess it's because you're partially blonde." Travian, while despising humans, still enjoyed making fun of their remarkably stupid yet popular members: the blondes.

"Why are you such a jerk?" He tried to look at her to see she might have been on the verge of tears. No reason why, but if he had to guess, she had never been tormented this hard before.

"Because you love it. Now! If you'll excuse me, I'll just be taking a little trip on my favorite rocket ship away from here and to Rarity's place." He said the first sentence very quickly. Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash blocked him.

"No! You aren't going anywhe-" A sudden warping noise interrupted her. A gap behind her was being pulled open by a steel gauntlet. A familiar one at that. Next came the arm, then the helmet. Next came only a little bit of the body.

"He's not going where, might I ask?" His brother was a rather random individual, but that's what happens when you can warp anywhere at anytime given the effort. Rainbow Dash was in complete awe. "Aren't you ugly... I can literally see the magic emanating from you. You should try washing it off." The helmet turned to Travian. "Ah. Cousin. I hope this foul fiend isn't giving you trouble."

"No, cousin, I think she gets it now."

"Ah! A she..." He took a few seconds to examine her. "An ugly she. I expected you to do better, Longshot. Oh well, good luck with her." He almost went back into his little warp when he realized something and turned around. "Oh yes! Dating advice: Buy her dinner. It's an easy way to get where you wanna be, at least most of the time. Tally ho!" He plunged back in to the warp, causing another loud warping sound as the gap in reality mended itself back together. Rainbow Dash was speechless.

"I see you've met my brother." He picked himself up from the ground. "Nice guy, really. Probably was in a bad mood like I am right now. Now scooch out of the way. In fact, I got a better idea. I'll just walk around you. Fare well with the shock!" He casually walked past the paralyzed pony.

Before he left into the town, he heard a rather confused "What?" behind him. He didn't take the bait and instead moved into the town. Several ponies that were in the streets saw him and instantly fled for their lives.

"Oh, plebeians. How fun you are to mess with."

He tried searching all throughout town, but he couldn't find Rarity's place. He started to think. 'If I were extremely gaudy, where would I live?' He looked around to see a giant pink, white, and pale blue structure. "Oh gods why." He gulped and headed in the direction of the building. Thankfully, measurements were actually taken of him. They figured out they could use his good leg instead, which was a miraculous discovery. He was scared what was inside the building.

He finally reached the door, which itself was too much for him. It was purple, of all door colors. He reached down for the handle, closing his eyes. He then pushed the door open. He crouched down to get in to the building. He then opened his eyes. He beheld an extremely ugly, girly room that would have made his brother giddy with glee. It was so disgusting he had to look at it for several seconds while gawking. On his face, a normally careless face would usually reside, was a horrified look of pure terror. To seal the deal, Rarity showed up. "Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, how can I help you?" She opened her eyes to see Travian standing in fear. "Oh Longshot. Wait... Oh my gosh! Longshot!" She came over to him. "What's wrong?"

He fell slowly to his knees over dramatically. "Too..." He clenched his chest, as though a dagger were through it. "Much..." He fell to the floor, face first. "Fashion..." He could feel the irritation on Rarity's entire figure as he arose.

"You know, they call me dramatic. I think even I was beat right there."

"That's 'cuz you don't have hands!" He held his hands up, showing all his fingers. Rarity looked at them in silence.

"Those aren't really the most attractive things... I mean, they have claws!"

"The dragon has claws, but you don't complain!"

"But he was always with Twilight. You just got here. And you are big, uncouth, and most undelightful to talk about fashion with!" Was Travian just going to stand there and be insulted by Rarity? After all, he believed himself not to be... uncouth?

"What does uncouth mean?"

"Ugh! You don't even know even the simplest of fine words. So... Barbaric!" He understood that word clearly.

"Bar bar bar bar!" He had to fill the part of a barbarian. She called him barbaric, therefore he is barbaric.

"You are just so unbelievable. Anyways! Why did you come over here, besides to learn how not to be a gentlecolt?" Finally. Something he could get behind. When he thought about what she just said and what he just thought, he really wanted to wipe what he thought out of his brain.

"I came to check on my clothes."

"Oh I have those all done." The to-do list was quickly emptying. This was good and bad.

"Absolutely fantastic. Oh, do I have to pay you or something? Maybe a favor?"

"Oh no, please. I am very generous to those who need clothes." Travian nodded and looked for his clothes. That was until Rarity pointed in a direction. He looked and saw his clothes there. He picked them up and wished his farewell to Rarity. These clothes would be the clothes that reconnect him with his ancient self.

Stubborn as a Mule

Chapter Ten: Stubborn as a Mule

With his new clothes on, and a fresh start, it seemed like everything was going pretty alright. Besides the whole injury deal, and the cyan nemesis he got acquainted with, but those didn't count to him. He wondered for a few seconds about a new bow, as well. Maybe when he could actually do it, he would. Unfortunately, he didn't have all the tools ready. He thought to do it, but remembered the lack of a knife he had. His claws might have been able to do it, but it would be annoying and tedious. He was honestly happy to not have much of a worry in that world.

Of course, his moment of laxity was rewarded by some sort of earthquake. He was outside the cottage when it occurred, and he was simply dozing off right before it happened. Now was no time to joke around, as this could have been serious. He remembered that Fluttershy was actually in town, so he had to go see if she was alright. It wouldn't do him good to have his only doctor down and out, would it?

He rushed off to Ponyville, and found the earthquake to be getting larger. It was about the time he actually entered the town to find that the shaking had stopped quite abruptly. He stood before a single minty pony with a single little horn. It's eyes were sort some of golden color. He noticed that ponies had a lot of different eye colors. The strange thing was that this pony was sitting there, staring at him. He decided conversation could scare it away, as he had slightly more important things to do. "Hello there, little pony."

It's eyes pierced into his, and then slowly moved downwards, a little off to the side. He wondered what it wanted to look at. He sat down, letting him get to see it eye to eye. It still looked down. He lifted an eyebrow and his hand, slightly wondering why it was looking down. As he lifted his hand, the pony stared at it. "You... You actually have those..."

"So you do have a voice. And yes, I do have hands. They are a thing, I suppose." He was slightly getting freaked out by this pony, but it was nice seeing how different they can be.

"Are you one of those... hu-nam things I had a dream about?" He was really freaked out now.

"I'm a close relative of them. Well not really. I guess we share the same body structure, but besides that not too much connects us. Their hands are softer than my hands. And they have nails instead of claws. I can't really think of them as anything but disgusting."

"But then... What are you?"

"If you somehow had a dream about humans, I would like to think you have an idea of what I am. I am known as a lizard-man. We were a strange mutation that occurred long ago due to magic, and a select few of us are magic voids." She looked at him strangely at the mention of a magic void. "Magic doesn't work on us. Whatever you put forth, we absorb with minimal, if any, damage or effect. Not the best thing, but definitely not the worst." He arose to his feet. "Anyways, I have something I sorta need to do. I'll be glad to answer any questions later." He wasn't planning on meeting this pony anytime later. Or ever. She was just too creepy for him. Dreams about humans? That was his one tip to say 'nope' and leave.

"Oh... Okay. See you later, Mr. Lizard Man!" She waved at him as he left, uttering nopes in quick succession. He tried to find Fluttershy, hoping there was no wreckage to the town he would have to sift through. Thankfully enough, he actually saw her come his way. He wandered over to her side, slightly lagging behind as he wasn't sure where she was going.

"Oh, Longshot! Hello. How was your day?" It was as if she didn't even notice him getting behind her.

"I'd say it was pretty fine, but there was an earthquake that interrupted my day dreaming."

"Oh... That was actually a stampede... Applejack managed to stop it though before it hit Ponyville, so don't worry! Everypony's okay." That was great news.

'Was Applejack the orange one or the pink one? Oh wait, it was definitely orange. Orange has the strange accent, and Applejack has a strange accent.' "That's great to hear."

"Pinkie Pie went ahead with Mayor Mare to throw a celebration for Applejack."

"How sweet. Guess I'll have to go there."

"Oh... No, you don't have to, I mean don't you have to sleep a lot?" Was he slacking off that much? He needed to go into the forest again.

"Not necessarily, no. Are you going?"

"Well, yes of course. I mean, it's my friend Applejack and I can't just not come." Sure she couldn't. Then again, she actually has friends. Travian had a marvelous lack of friends over his life. The only real friend he had was his brother, who wasn't really there for him except when he was needed.

"I'm coming then. I can't just leave you all alone! Your shyness would destroy you."

"Oh well..." She something really quietly.

"Excuse me, what was that?"

"Rainbow Dash is going to be there..." He lifted an eyebrow. "Don't you not like her? From what I saw, I mean, you two didn't get along very well."

"I trust her not to be a problem." He can now roll out the trust card. It was his second favorite, his first being the trump card. Basically, he put his trust in someone as a test. If that person doesn't follow through, all trust will be demolished. Thankfully Fluttershy stopped trying to persuade him not to come. He wouldn't stand in the crowd, so there would be no problem.

Travian had actually gone next to the forest, but only to perform some target practice. The magic needed to be culled, he needed it, and he had more than enough arrows to do so. After a week of doing so, he saw Fluttershy signal to him with a beckoning motion. He moved over to where Fluttershy was. "Whaddya' need?"

"It's time for the celebration... Didn't you say you wanna come?" He did. He simply followed Fluttershy into town, where he saw the streets being empty yet again. He left the bow and quiver on him in case of emergencies that might occur. Magically locked doors did exist, and so did dangerous magical creatures. Normal creatures also existed when he thought about it.

The crowd of ponies he saw was quite vast. He decided that instead of standing behind the stage, he would just stand where he was. It was better to remain out of sight rather than risk getting into it for a moment. Fluttershy walked on past him, up on to the stage. Travian decided to take a seat on the ground. He then heard a silly voice. "Oh no, what if I miss it?" He looked to his side to see a strange pony with wings. It was grey and had blonde hair.

"I guess every planet has typical blondes..." Travian said under his breath. Then the blonde pony looked at him with... Her eyes were extremely strange. One looked up while the other was down.

"Excuse me sir, do you know where the celebration is?" She must have also had terrible eyesight, as he was clearly not a pony. Still, he shouldn't be mean to people who can't see so well.

"It's over there." He pointed in the direction of the crowd, but then remembered that she couldn't see. Of course, he was wrong as she proceeded in that direction towards the end of the crowd.

"Thank you, kind mister!" She said that before she left. Travian really did wonder how all these interesting ponies appeared in this little town. He spent a few minutes looking at his bow before hearing something off behind the building. It was Twilight's voice.

"Welcome everypony! Today, we to honor a pony we can always count on to help in matters great and small! A pony who's contributions to-" The voice changed to that of his nemesis.

"Did you see Applejack's slick moves out there? What an athlete! This week, she's gonna help me with my new flying trick, and I know it's going to be SO AWESOME!" Twilight took over again.

"Exactly! And-" The pink one literally bounced in. He could hear a bounce.

"This week, I get to run Sugar Cube Corner for the first time!"

"... What does that have to do with Applejack?"

There was a pause. "Oh! Applejack, one of the best bakers ever, is gonna help me. Applejack makes everything great, so free samples for everypony!" A bunch of cheering occurred after that. Travian decided to cheer as well, even though it would be very quiet. It helped in spirit.

"Okay, that's great, now if I could just make a point without being inter-"

"Twilight?" A soft voice spoke. It was hard to hear, but Travian did it.

"-rupted."

"Twilight, I'm so sorry, but I just wanted to mention that Applejack's also helping me this week with the official bunny census-" Travian spoke out.

"Wait, that's an actual thing?"

"-, where we count up all the baby bunnies that were born this season. She's going to help gather them with her wonderful herding skills." Travian was really confused.

"Wait, just baby bunnies this season? And you can herd bunnies? What?" A short little pause occurred before Twilight said "Anyone else? Anyone?" A few coughs and a silence. "No? Well then, as I was trying to say," There was yet again a pause. These ponies and their pauses. "Ugh! Never mind!" Another voice.

"And so, without any further ado, it is my privilege to give the 'Prized Pony of Ponyville' award to our beloved guest of honor. A pony with the utmost trustworthiness, reliability, and integrity, Ponyville's most capable and dependable friend, Applejack!" Cheering soared throughout the crowd. Travian saw a flaw in her statement, however.

"Wait... Isn't dependability and reliability the same thing?" When he finished, however, the crowd was silent except for a certain 'dragon'.

"Whoo! Way to go, Applejack, that was awesome, I mean... Heh..." Travian had to look out from the corner to see the situation. Applejack wasn't there. That was most certainly awkward. For someone who was reliable, she doesn't seem to come to these things.

"Ahem." There was a big silence. Travian swore he heard something in the crowd, but he couldn't make it out. Then a loud voice with a strange accent made itself obvious.

"I'm here! I'm here!" He heard a yawn. It was plain to hear that she was tired. "Sorry Ah'm late... I was jus'... Woah, did Ah get your tail?" She was most certainly clumsy, as well. "Miss Mayor, thank ya kindly for this here... Award thingeh... It's so bright and shineh!" He then heard some siren sounds from the pony. A second pony was included. Twilight took the stage again.

"Oh... Kay. well thank you, Applejack, for saving us from that scary stampede and always being there for everypony." Travian had something to comment on.

"Always being there for everypony, huh? Well why wasn't she here when she was supposed to?"

Applejack spoke again, yawning quite a few times. "Yeah, I like helpin' the pony folks and... And stuff... Oh, uh, thanks!" He then heard a loud scratching noise. She was probably dragging a trophy or something. He would probably have to help her. Eventually, he saw her as she was dragging it. It was a little bit out of sight from the pony crowd, so he supposed he was alright. He crouched down low to avoid being seen and started his trek to Applejack.

The trek was not long and arduous. "Hey, Applejack. Do you need help moving that?" She dropped the trophy once he spoke.

"Huh, what?"

"I said do you need help moving that?" She yawned in front of him. Then she got some sort of serious look on her face.

"No! I dun need no help from nobody! I can do this..." She yawned, loosening her expression. "... all on my own..." Travian was not having that sort of answer when the trophy was on its side.

"Here, just lemme make it easier-"

"I told ya I can do it!" Travian's hand was just about to touch the little handle on the trophy, but then he backed off.

"Alright, fine. You can do it. Just don't blame me when you find out you can't do it." Travian turned away from Applejack and walked away. He did enjoy helping people within a certain degree. When it was something like that, he of course would help. If he was getting paid, though, he would move everything she wanted him to move. What she did kin of ticked him off, but it was a good day still.

Or at least it was until he saw Twilight. "Oh? Hey Longshot, what are you doing here?"

"Tried helping Applejack. Didn't work out as planned."

"Oh... That's..."

"By that, I mean she refused my help entirely."

"Oh. Wait, she did? I never thought she was that kind of pony..."

"She is. Anyways, I'll just go back to Flutter's place and probably take a nap." She halted Travian.

"Before you go, I need to ask you a question. Why is it that when Fluttershy talks to you, it's like she has more confidence, or that she's less shy than when she talks to us?" He could answer in multiple ways, but most would piss Twilight off. He could also answer any way and it would be wrong because he didn't understand a single thing about females.

"I guess it's because I'm more of an animal than a person. Or pony, or whatever you call yourselves." He fit the bill for reptile pretty well. He supposed that society was rather cruel to Fluttershy earlier on, making her rather scared and shy of ponies in general, making her resort to animals. Either that, or it was a complete accident.

"I guess that does make sense... Oh well, I'm off to see Applejack. Tell Fluttershy I said hi." She walked off towards where he left. He would have to ask Fluttershy why she was so shy.

He forgot to ask Fluttershy about his questions. When he remembered them, he discovered her missing. She was probably off doing her... bunny census with Applejack. 'Seriously, who does a bunny census?' He was eating a fish at the time. 'Oh no! The annual fish census is incorrect by one!' He laughed internally at his little comment. He noticed most of the fish he ate were raw. While he preferred them raw, he knew they were rather filthy and disease filled and what not. He would have to find some place to cook them.

Yet again, he felt a shift in the wind. He didn't take time to grab his bow and quiver to get up and run for the door to the cottage. He rushed for the knob of the door and tried turning it multiple times. It was locked. If he picked up his quiver, he could have discovered if it was a magical lock or not. Thankfully, he had a fish. Albeit half eaten, but still a fish! His ultimate plan for defense was simple. He would use the fish as a weapon, slapping anyone with the magical and immense powers of the massive trout!

The cyan devil, however, was not seen. She was getting good. He then looked off in the distance, seeing a small dot. He tried to focus on the object, finding it to be a large dragon. That was the shift in the wind. If he was smart, he would have reported the sighting, but knowing that Twilight had a enslaved dragon, he supposed that dragons weren't a big deal here.

'Still... A large dragon can do some sort of harm... Oh well.' He went back to his spot to demolish his weapon with his mouth.

Up High

Chapter Eleven: Up High

Travian was returning from target practice. He considered himself officially in the zone 'not rusty' in the area of archery. He still came a few millimeters away from his targets at long range, but that was a little bit unnecessary at the moment. It wasn't like the pony's 'glorious' princess actually needed someone dead. Even if she did, just who would it be? Travian himself wouldn't mess with their princess too much just because of the magic he felt around her.

He then saw Fluttershy returning from her animal caring duties. It was his job to say hi every time he saw her. "Hello, Flutterbubble." The most fun part about the job was that he had to make up a new word that followed Flutter every time it happened. What wasn't part of the job description was the Applejack included. "Oh hi Applejack."

"Howdy partner!" She tipped her hat at him. "So uh... Look, Ah'm mighty sorry for not 'cepting your help before... I just wasn' mahself, an' I was real tired."

"I know. So what do ya need?" She looked relieved.

"Well, 'riginally, Ah thought Ah should jus' apologize to ya, but now that I think about it... Can ya climb stuff?"

Travian nodded. "Better than any pony, probably."

"There's this barrel of apples we have 'n our barn. We dunno how it got up there, but somehow it got all the way up and stuck in the rafters. Can ya get it fer us?"

"Sure. My question, though: Why didn't you get Twilight?"

"I jus' thought of it, and ya said you could climb." All those points were valid.

"Very well. Lead the way." She turned around, but not before Fluttershy could stop her.

"Oh, Applejack... Try not to take him through town too much. I really don't want everypony to freak out, or try to hurt him..." Travian was slightly offended. How could she assume he would make everyone freak out? Maybe he would make them swoon. After all, he was just that handsome. Mostly because he actually has hands.

"Oh. Right, Fluttershy. I'll be sure not to get him in town for long." Travian had actually seen two town ponies before he actually did this. One that was mint colored and a silly blonde one. He really didn't see much harm to come from that little village. Applejack led on to Ponyville.

Travian would like to have assumed it would have been smooth sailing. It wasn't. Over five ponies saw him walking through. None of them he had actually recognized. They stared at him, one of those stares were with fear. The others were filled with curiosity. Applejack wanted him to continue, but he wanted to stay for these ponies. He won the silent argument. He put himself in front of them. He crouched down, with his teeth bared and his hands on his knees.

"What? Have you never seen me before?" They all shook their heads. He noticed the one who was terrified was a small pony. He turned his head towards it. "No? Not even at night, where I silently watch you all?" They all got that terrified look. 'Just what I was looking for.' He stood at full height, dwarfing the ponies. "Now... Spread rumors of my existence if you wish to continue in life." He laughed maniacally. Making an entire culture fear you as a boogeyman was possibly one of the most fun things he had ever done. "Go, little ponies! Run!" They all sprinted out of there as he laughed some more. His maniacal laugh turned into genuine laughter. "I tell you Applejack, it's fun doing that."

"Ya didn' have to do that, ya know."

"You don't know how hard it is to resist it though." They continued on the way to the farm.

When they reached the farm, he noticed the intense amount of apples. "Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres!" He looked at Applejack because of the-

"Wait. You named the place Sweet Apple Acres."

"Yeah! It's owned an' operated by the Apple family, which Ah am a part of."

"The Apple family, Applejack. Which owns and operates Sweet Apple Acres which makes apples." He looked at Applejack and thought of something incredibly clever. Surely they didn't have the same type of apples he knew about. "Don't tell me you have a grandmother called 'Granny Smith'."

"How do ya know her?" Applejack said, surprised at what he said.

"Wait. What." He was started to think all these names were joke names.

"Ol' Granny Smith is ma granny. How could ya even know her if I ain't never seen ya 'round here?"

"It was a complete guess!"

"It was a darned good guess, then..." She eyed him suspiciously. It was supposed to be a joke, but somehow he guessed a name. When she and Travian looked forward, they saw a big red pony. "Oh hey Big Mac!" He nodded to Applejack, but looked cautiously towards Travian.

"I swear I didn't do anything to her. You don't need to destroy my soul and everything on the side." The big guy looked at him strangely instead of cautiously, which was a start. "So I heard you guys needed something from your barn."

"Eeyup." Big Mac said. Not much of a talker.

"Applejack right here wanted me to come over and get it." He looked towards Applejack.

"Oh, loosen up, will ya? He ain't here to harm nopony." That got Big Mac to stop being so suspicious of him. "So the barn's over there. Ya just need to get up in to the rafters and get it fer us." Travian shrugged and continued towards the barn.

Once he got to the doors, he pushed them open. He walked inside, seeing some beams he could climb up. He said for Rarity to specifically leave the toe part out of his boots just for such occasions as this. He planted his claws into a beam and slowly climbed his way up. Eventually, he saw the barrel. What was also in the rafters was some sort of pony. This pony, however, looked horribly wrong. It also looked cuter than a lot of other ponies to Travian for some reason.

Maybe it had to do with it's entirely blue eyes that gleamed in the darkness. It might have been it's legs that looked like cheese. Whatever it was, however, it was not being too friendly as soon as it saw him. "Woah. Hey, you need to calm down. I am not gonna hurt you."

Suddenly, it was absorbed by green flames. He was dazzled at them before noticing what came from them. Another Travian was right where it was. "No, you need to leave!" He translated the voice from an ancient alien language he had to learn.

"I am not arguing with myself again. You get your face down right this instant, young lizard!"

"No!"

"I'll count to three, and if you aren't down by then, I will hug you."

"Go ahead. I'll eat your love."

"Ah hah! But you see, I have already won! I have no love!" Travian lifted himself up, noticing the other lunging itself at him. He opened his arms, expecting it to cause him to fall off. Unfortunately, it was really light. The green flames occurred again, revealing the little cutey again. It even had an adorable little fang.

"You... You don't have any love. At all."

"I told you. And you didn't believe me!"

"But... How can you be an emotionless shell?"

"I learned to shut them out long ago." He took a few moments to think of what just happened. He had a shape-shifting bug-like pony who supposedly ate love right in his arms. "Wait... What."

"... What what? There's nothing in here..."

"Did you... Did you move that barrel, expecting someone to come in here so you can steal their love?" It looked at him awkwardly.

"Um..."

"May I remind you that you are in my arms?"

"Um... I may have. But it's only because I was kicked out of my hive! And... I can't speak the pony's language..." Travian did notice that it spoke with a strange language. Travian, being such the caring individual he was, gave it some pity.

"What's your name, little guy?"

"In the hive, I was six thousand and forty seven." He wasn't sure of what to expect. Usually hive civilizations named their individuals after numbers.

"We're going to have to change that. For now, you can be called... Wait are you female or male? Couldn't really tell, what with the whole... Turning into me thing and having a rather monotonous voice."

"Can't you tell? I'm a girl, you know? Worker caste?" They were like ants, in a way.

"I actually couldn't. Now I can though. Your new name will be... Mayella. Why not, eh?"

"Mayella... I like that name. It sounds nice." He loved making cute things happy. It made them turn from cute to adorable. That metamorphosis was his most favored.

"It suits you." Then Mayella looked at Travian very strangely.

"Um... What's your name?"

"You can call me Longshot."

"Um... Longshot... I'm feeling a little bit of love from you... But it's nothing I can take."

"Oh really?" He was genuinely confused. He was emitting love? When did he have any love for anything?

"I can't take it at all, in fact. It's like... You're giving it to me." She looked up at him with her adorable eyes. He had to make this seem good. He didn't want to upset Mayella. He had just given her a name. Also, she seemed to be rather cautious around these ponies. That probably meant she was disliked by them. That means if he made friends with her, he could totally pick sides and piss all of the pony race off! It would be a great day when that could happen. He didn't want to see such a cute bug thing unhappy as well.

"That's because I am." He could grow to regret that.

"Oh... You know, I think you're a very nice thing. You actually fed me even when I didn't ask for it. I tried to attack you, and I told you I would steal your love... And then you just give it to me."

"Yep. I did, I suppose." He would grow to regret that. He then put Mayella down next to him, startling her. "Right, so I'm just gonna go get that barrel." He then jumped over and stuck his claws in one of the beams, causing him to hang.

"Are you just gonna leave me like this?" Mayella pestered him at a moment like this. This woman would get him broken.

"No. I'll be sure to visit." He started clambering over to the rafter with the barrel. He then got within grabbing distance of the barrel. He thrust his feet towards the barrel, latching on to it. He then pulled his feet forth, causing quite the pain in his body. He wasn't used to bending his body in the ways he was. The barrel moved forward, falling down and unlatching from his feet. It landed in a bail of hay. He saw the hay and decided to remove his claws from the beam he was on. He then fell a distance down, and landed in the hay bail.

Despite what everyone said to him, bails of hay do not get rid of the pain from the fall. It caused him to give a little grunt in pain because of the impact. He then heard Mayella say, "Are you okay?"

"Completely fine, I assure you!" He got himself up from the ground. He turned to the barrel and grabbed it. He lifted it over his shoulder. It was decently heavy. He started walking for the barn door and nearly opened it when he heard a voice.

"Can you come back soon?" Travian really had to think. Did he want to try to help this creature that could steal the love from someone? That was something these ponies probably had an abundance of, but still. He feared he would develop feelings for the adorable pony-like creature. He placed his hand on the door.

"Sure. I'll see what I can do." He pushed it forward with a small smile upon his face. It was quite a long time since he had a genuine smile.

The Lion's Roar

Chapter Twelve: The Lion's Roar

Travian had left Fluttershy's cottage the next day to visit Mayella. She was much more interesting than these ponies, after all. She was a... He hadn't caught what she was. While he was about to enter town, he saw Fluttershy. Or rather, he was spotted sneaking out. "Longshot? What are you doing?"

"Just... Gonna go see something. It's important to me."

"... What is?"

"Applejack said she needed me to have a look at something and I didn't quite get to see it." Fluttershy took the lie and decided to leave him alone. It was easy to get her off his back. He skidded along the outskirts of the village, hoping no one saw him. It wouldn't do him right to be seen at day when he should be seen at night. He continued along the road, or at least until he saw a rainbow trail in the sky.

He started to flee, knowing that the rainbow trail would soon find him. Sweet Apple Acres wasn't too far, and he considered himself decently swift. He saw a few trees with apples appear around him, cluing him on his location. He took a turn and saw the opening to Sweet Apple Acres. He saw Applejack at the entrance. He kept blitzing forward, saying, "Hey Applejack!" as he ran past her.

He made way for the barn, but knew he was too slow. He fell to the floor before the barn. "No!" He slammed his fist on the ground. Before he could make his way up, he heard the devilish voice behind him.

"Hey! Why were you running all over the place? Are you hiding something?" He picked himself up with much defeat. His day had officially gone horrible. Something inside him actually changed when he turned. His defeated look turned to one that was determined.

"I wouldn't hide anything from the one I trust."

"Then what are you doing?"

"I'm here to practice climbing." It was a decent response. Applejack was next to Rainbow Dash at this point.

"Applejack, is this true?" He really wanted to rely on Applejack.

"Well..." Applejack failed him and- "Yeah. It's a new thing we let 'im do." Applejack won for him and allowed him to escape punishment.

"... Can I watch?"

"Unless you wanna see a shirtless me climbing everywhere, no." He started removing everything above his waist, starting with his hood.

"Uh, ew. No. Look, I think I'm just gonna go practice my awesome flying skills. Which are so much more totally cool than your climbing skills."

"Kay." Travian was finished removing the clothing and he reached for the barn doors. He slowly pulled them open. "Go on and get out of here then." He went inside the barn and closed the doors quickly. "I assume you missed me?" Mayella glided down from the rafters, showing off her wings which actually looked really cool.

"Of course I did. You are the only one who can understand me!"

"I wouldn't go as far to say I understand you. I just know your language. Speaking of which, what are you?"

"I'm a changeling. You saw how I changed into things, right?"

"Yeah. Noticeably me. You make me look good, by the way."

"That's because you do." She froze in place, with her eyes wide open. "I m-m-mean... Of course I do!" Travian brought his claws to a beam. As he hooked on it, he began talking.

"Right. So, why were you kicked out of your hive?"

"I... I'm a bit of a weird changeling. For one, I love to talk while the others are mostly drones. The other changelings complained about my endless chattering when really I just wanted somepony to talk to..." He had reached the top of the beam by the end of her speech.

"Well now you have one to do so, don't you? Well... Not a pony, strictly speaking." He looked out to window of the barn. He saw the face of his nemesis, eyeing the room suspiciously. "Go away! I'm talking to myself!" The rainbow menace looked incredibly surprised before leaving his sight. "Now where were we?"

"I wanna know how you're here with these ponies." She buzzed up to him.

"Now that one is a doozy. So in a life before this one, I was a mercenary. I would hunt down any individual you wanted dead." She covered her mouth in surprise. "For money, of course. I would also fight in any war you had. Of course, I had a few rules. Now I was possibly one of the best out there. Unfortunately, I was betrayed before I was paid. I was..." He searched for the right words. "I was forced to come here. The ponies found me and took me in. Fun times, when you look at it."

"You... You lead an interesting life? But I never heard of anypony being a killer in Equestria..."

"Wanna hear a secret?" She nodded her head. "I'm not from Equestria. I'm from beyond the sky... I was born in a marshy land, lived in a snowy land, and left to my mercenary work when the snowy land fell to my enemies." A close enough depiction of his life.

"That's... Crazy! How can you just tell me all this and expect me to believe that?" Now he could put in the line he always loved.

"Because you are the only one I have told that to."

"You... You're interesting, you know that?"

"I know. The same can be said of you." If he was going to be honest to himself, he would have admitted he quite liked speaking to this... changeling. She was a good enough lass.

"So can I ask you a question?" Travian nodded. "Why are you so nice to me? Before I was kicked out of the hive, I learned that every single race hated changelings because they stole love."

"Not the ones that can give it. And baby, I know just how to give it." He raised a single eyebrow, letting off a smirk. Mayella just stared at him.

"What is that even... Oh." The realization sank into her. "Oh! No! Not that kind of love!"

"So is that an added benefit or...?"

"Just. No. Usually changelings don't go that far."

"Or that shallow?" She gave him a confused look. "Oh right. Ponies probably don't have those..."

"You are possibly the weirdest pony I have ever met." She needed her eyes checked.

"Excuse me? Do I look like a pony?" Mayella shook her head. "That's what I thought." He then proceeded to do what he said he would, which was climbing practice. The changeling was able to have conversations with him while he was doing so. Then, when he was finished, he climbed down instead of jumping into a bail of hay.

"So when do you think you can come back?"

"I don't know. But hey, I don't think you've been fed for a while." He then took a knee and gave Mayella a hug. "Hopefully this is enough to keep you going." Travian let some emotions out, but kept a lot to himself.

"This is... So much! How do you have so much?"

"I've lived for quite a while." He then let go of Mayella, and turned to the door. "Now go hide yourself away from the ponies. I have the suspicion they will search this place for something." He reached forth to push the door.

"Bye Longshot!" Travian's golden opportunity arrived.

"See ya, love." He pushed the door forward, looking back to see the changeling blushing. Her cheeks were a bright blue. It was absolutely adorable to Travian. The doors closed allowing him to focus on his clothes. When he got to his clothes, he noticed one part missing. His hood was missing.

"So... Who was that?" Rainbow Dash stood against the wall with his hood in hoof.

"Oh... Nobody you need to know." He slowly approached Rainbow.

"What do you mean 'Nobody I need to know.'? Of course I need to know! I know that thing looked evil, and you just can't say it was only you talking to yourself!"

"Just give me my hood and I will tell you." She looked at his hood, and then back at him.

"I'm not taking that long shot."

"Taking what?" Travian looked around.

"No, I'm just... You know what, you tell me who it was first and I'll let you have the hood." He thought of something to say to make her drop it.

"You know..." He slid close to Rainbow Dash, making her jump. She stood her ground however. "I've just been noticing you're dazzling hair..." He reached his hand for the hood, but she put the hood in the other hoof. She stamped the hoof without the hood down. He lowered himself down to a crouch "Woah. No need to get feisty. Look, I just want to..." He looked her in the eyes. "Wow. You're beautiful eyes are absolutely stunning." Her mouth moved slightly agape. He moved his hand towards the side of her neck. "You're face isn't the only thing that's stunning, you know..." He moved his hand slowly downward.

"Um... What are you-" He plucked his hood right off her hoof.

"Success!" He stood up.

"What did you... Wha- Ew. Ew! Ew! No! You... No!" She started freaking out, just as planned. Travian started laughing as he walked away. Soon enough, he saw a rainbow trail heading away from the farm. He put on the rest of his clothes just as he heard a knocking on the barn door. He opened a single door to see a changeling with a concerned expression.

"Did you... Did you really mean that about her?"

"What? No. While I admit she looks amazing sometimes, I gotta admit that those eyes and that hair does not bring me in. Why, were you planning on changing into her to appease me?"

"No! I was just-"

"Problem solved!" He closed the door. He felt kind of cruel not letting her finish, but he would get over it. He fled the farm, hoping the rainbow fiend had not told Fluttershy about him misbehaving. He knows that Fluttershy would have to punish him most severely! Her punishments were the worst... A speech about how he could have been hurt or others could have been hurt.

Fluttershy did punish him. That cyan tattle tale told her about his little adventure. When she was done punishing him intensely, she requested who he was talking to. "I told her I was talking to myself, and I was."

"... I have a feeling you're lying to me, and I don't like it... I mean, it doesn't make me happy."

"Everyone I talk to probably gets that feeling. Kinda sad actually, but eh. What can I do?" Travian led himself away from the whole questioning part of the day. It was actually getting really late, so he opened the door. He promptly got to his designated area and got upon the floor. He then slept.

In the middle of the night, he was awoken by a new feel on him. He looked down at his chest to see the changeling on him. "Mayella... What are you doing? How did you get here?"

"I didn't want to sleep in the barn... And you have a scent that is very different compared to a pony's, so I followed it." That explained everything he needed at that time of day. He went directly back to sleep with the feeling of a changeling snuggling him.

When he awoke in the afternoon, he saw Mayella was no place to be seen. Instead, there was a bunny resting next to him. "Is that you?" The bunny nodded. "You look small and adorable. Good job." He petted the bunny. Then the bunny erupted into flames. Out came... Rainbow Dash.

"I thought you said something about this one having beautiful eyes? I got a good look at her as she watched you sleep earlier."

"What." He said what to everything.

"You didn't know she did that?"

"I didn't want to know! And excuse me, but your actual eyes and your actual looks are beyond compare to Rainbow Dash's. While she's a pony, you are a changeling! You say you take love, but I don't understand why no one gives it to you." Flames again, revealing the changeling. "Woah! Look at that girl right there! Now that is what I love to see."

"Oh stop it, you. You're going to make me blush again..."

"But blue looks so good on you." And so their conversations went. Or until she noticed his equipment.

"So I wanted to ask you... What are these things?" She pointed to his things.

"They're my things." He picked up the bow. "This thing kills magic when it touches it." He pointed at the quiver. "That kills magic when it touches it." He plucked an arrow out of the quiver. "This kills magic when it touches it." He nocked the arrow and fired it over a distance. "Whatever that hits usually kills what it hits."

"Oh. That's... Horrifying."

"I'm horrifying." She looked at him with a stubborn look.

"Don't you insult yourself!"

"But baby, it's true." The conversations went that way for the rest of the day.

Fluttershy showed up with an awkward face equipped. Mayella transformed into a bunny and rested on Travian's shoulder. He wondered over to Fluttershy, expecting a story. "So I found some sort of fake turtle near the beach."

"That's... News. Anything you plan on doing tomorrow?"

"Well I have to lead some ducks through town. The river over here is too full, you see..."

"Cool. Do you need any help with that?"

"Oh... No..." Travian put up a grin.

"Well I'm coming anyways! Trust me, the ducks won't even know I'm there." Fluttershy looked off to the side, but she probably knew she couldn't win this argument. He was coming, and that was final. He then went back to his sleeping spot. It would be a long day tomorrow, and he knew it. Mayella transformed back into a changeling. Travian was going to sleep on his stomach so she could sleep on his back. It would be more comfortable for her, and that comforted him.

"I'm going into town today, so you're going to have to stay here. Go steal love from bunnies or fish or whatever. I bet you can do it."

"Fish have love?"

"They have a census for bunnies. I assume fish have love. Go take it and we'll be good to go." Travian didn't carry his equipment with him. This time, he only wore his clothes. He saw Fluttershy leading a pack of ducks. He walked up behind the ducks and said, "Do they have a duck census too?"

"Oh yes! But it isn't time for that yet."

"Why did I even ask..." He trudged behind the ducks, knowing that indeed existed. When they arrived in town, he got a few stares from a lot of ponies. Almost every stare was in fear. 'Glorious,' he thought, 'They all fear me.' To make matters worse and better, he moved off to the side, next to a few of the ponies. He then saw the pink one at a table by herself. He made his last life decisions before sitting next to her.

"Oh hi, Longshot!"

"Oh hi. What'cha doin' out here?"

"I'm just looking at this Gilda-griffon-person, seeing if I misjudged her." Something was wrong about that sentence.

"... Griffon?"

"You know, half lion, half eagle?" He looked at her strangely.

"What's an eagle?" Suddenly he heard somebody say something incredibly rude.

"Hey!" He looked to see... Some sort of four legged bird standing over Fluttershy.

"Oh... Please excuse me..."

"I'm walking here!" Travian didn't like where this was going. He got up from the table, getting angrier at the world. This Gilda person just made his day officially into the 'horribad' section he made up a long time ago.

"Oh... Um... I'm sorry... I was just trying to-"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, why don't you just watch where you're going, doofus!"

"But... But... But I-I" Travian was behind Fluttershy at this point. He didn't know how the griffon missed him. The griffon then roared in Fluttershy's face. Fluttershy started to turn around, and started to cry. Then she ran into Travian.

"Excuse me, miss, but I don't like what you did there." Gilda looked at him with disgust.

"And just what are you?"

"I'm her friend. I'm just here to make sure you apologize."

"So you're gonna try to defend these lame ponies?" Travian really did not like that word in cohesion with horses. A lame horse was a very injured or old one.

"Yes. I am. Is there a problem with that?"

"Yeah! You're just being another dweeb, and I don't like dweebs." Her eyes became slits, and so did Travian's.

"And I don't like undesirables." He probably should have gotten his bow.

"Do you wanna take this here or somewhere else, punk?"

"Are you saying I should fight you?" His eyes opened to their normal size. He then promptly stood straight up. "Because that would be barbaric! Why fight you when I can just have you apologize and get this over with? I mean, seriously. Fighting is for nerds." Now that got her buttons pushed. Yes, he had to think hard back to when he saw a few students talking and the names they gave to the 'uncool', He had done it, though, and that had her mad at his logic.

She groaned at him before saying, "I'm out of here. All these ponies are driving my buggy." He saw what she did there. His act of heroism was awarded by a few less stares of fear, and one grateful look from Fluttershy.

"Thanks, Longshot... You're very nice..." His reputation was being ruined by Fluttershy. He tried so very hard to work up to his reputation of 'feared', but now he's apparently a 'hero'.

"Don't mention it." He wondered what was with all these interesting things in this town. Stampedes, griffons, tickets... So much interesting things within a short span of time. He spent most of his time here recovering from injuries, but the interesting stuff only seemed to happen when he wasn't injured. If he could prevent injury... Would there constantly be another thing? What kind of strange magic could do that?

When he returned to Fluttershy's cottage, he saw a bunny waiting for him. It wasn't Angel, so he could assume it was Mayella. "'Ay girl. 'Ow you doin'?" He picked up the bunny which the flames consumed. Out came the changeling. He would never get over how cool that was.

"I'm doing good, now that you're here."

"Good, good. So do fish have love?" He was genuinely interested.

"Yes! I was shocked at first, but then I realized fish have tons of love!" Now he was shocked. He expected no love or little love, but tons of love? He was surprised.

"Wow. Okay, well, I have a question for you. Do all changelings burst into flames when they change?"

"Not all... Just some. Most of us change by a phasing effect instead of flames. I'm just one of those changelings." That was some handy info. Now if he had his helmet, he could record it down. Unfortunately... "Hey... Is something wrong?"

"Nah. I just sorta ruined the reputation I built up."

"What reputation?" His feelings. All of them.

"I was a fear inspiring figure in Ponyville. I helped Fluttershy against some weird flying lion-bird that was four legged. I'm a hero now, apparently. Hey, you know what a griffon is, right?"

"Yeah."

"Great. Are they normally rude?" She looked at him with such a weird stare.

"Um... No... They are normally honorable and very respectful... Well, except to changelings..." He didn't know what happened to this one then.

"Right. So... Anything you want to talk about?" And so their conversation went. Or at least it did until Fluttershy came back. She came back with a smile on her face. Mayella turned into a bunny before Fluttershy could see her. "What's got you so happy?"

"The ducks are fine, and Gilda left town! Oh, and it was such a fun party as well!" She's a party animal? Didn't- Travian face palmed himself for that. He really hated himself for that pun. "Why'd you hit yourself?"

"Dumb joke." He then let Mayella creep her way on to his lap. Fluttershy looked at the bunny.

"Who's that? I've never seen her around here..." She literally knows the bunnies around here. This was a disturbing fact.

"I dunno. She showed up and took a liking to me. I named her Mayella."

"Mayella... That's a weird name." Says the pony who belongs to a nation of ponies who's names are mostly two words combined together or one word. He took note of that. Fluttershy, Twilight, Applejack, Rarity...

"Your face is a weird name!" Fluttershy then tried to look at her face, failing slightly. He used his hand to pet Mayella. She was like a pet to him. "Now go on and do your thing." Fluttershy focused back on what she was doing. She then left the two alone. "Mayella, do you know why ponies are so weird?" She changed back into her cute self.

"Do you know why changelings are so weird?"

"You guys aren't weird. You're just small. And sexy. Sometimes." Mayella looked at him with what he assumed was a rather upset glare. "Okay, fine. Sexy all the time." Her frown turned upside down.

Teach the New

Chapter Twelve: Teach the New

Travian had decided that Mayella needed to learn English, which was pony speak, supposedly. He was shooting trees at the time, and Mayella was next to him. "Do you ever miss?"

"Not really, no. I guess I can miss every ten years, but besides that no. Hey, you said you didn't know the pony's language?" She nodded. "Would you like to know it?"

"Why would I need to learn it?" Travian put his bow down and removed his arrow via throwing it.

"If you ever want to walk into town with me, or possibly disguise yourself among the pony's, you'll need to learn their language." He thought of a great idea. Instead of manually teaching her, he was sure his helmet could fit on her. The helmet could teach her within a few days.

"That's... A few fair points actually. Okay, so when do we get started?" Travian started walking back to the cottage.

"When we get back." Thankfully, it didn't take long to do so. When they arrived, Travian dropped his bow and quiver on the dead ground they normally were on. He then picked up his helmet and presented it to Mayella.

"What's that?"

"The thing that's going to teach you." He crouched down and started putting it on her. "Now don't freak out. Trust me when I say it won't hurt you." He then latched the helmet, which it wasn't able to do with him for some reason. The helmet's visor lit up, and a voice came out of it.

"Unknown identity within. Orders, Longshot?"

"Teach the entity English." Suddenly the visor was filled with words.

"Ah! Longshot, I don't like this! It's freaky!" He face palmed. He told her that it wouldn't harm her.

"Suck it up, buttercup." He sat down with a helmeted changeling freaking out next to him. Then his worst nightmare occurred. The wind shifted. He knew the dragon wasn't there. He couldn't take the helmet off without hurting Mayella. He picked up his bow and nocked a single arrow. It would be the only thing that would protect him and her from the wrath of the ignorant ponies.

As he held the bow at the ready, he saw a rainbow mane poking out of a cloud. "Come out, Rainbow. I see your mane." Rainbow Dash didn't just come out. She zoomed out, all the way next to Travian.

"What is that thing?!"

"Do you want my words or the facts?"

"Um... Aren't both of them your words?"

"Yes. Now this thing right here is a friend. Bugger off." Rainbow was of course more stubborn then a mule.

"But what if she could hurt Ponyville?"

"I can hurt Ponyville. And I can hurt you. Now you're going to leave us and tell not a word. I put my trust in you, so you better keep it." Rainbow felt like arguing today. A poor decision, in Travian's eyes.

"But... I-"

"You don't 'but' anything. While yours is nice, I'd prefer to see it leaving instead of standing here, talking to me and trying to say everything foreign is evil."

"I... I don't even... Look, you were at least friendly! She has fangs! She has evil eyes!"

"And I don't?" He crouched down and looked her directly in the eyes.

"You..." He put down the bow. He then slowly move his hand towards Rainbow Dash's ear.

"Let's not talk about me. Let's talk about you." His hand touched the fur behind Rainbow Dash's ear. It then began scratching. "Now what I would love to see about you..." He moved his mouth close to her ear. "Is for you to leave us." He stood up immediately, looking at what his work had done. Rainbow Dash's eyes were wide open, and her pupils were very small.

"You know what, I have something to d-d-do anyways!" She bursted up into the sky and made another rainbow across it in a direction away from Travian. He turned to Mayella.

"Now. You're probably wondering what just happened." She nodded, causing the helmet to bounce. "That was Rainbow Dash. She is extremely racist and you should never try to talk with her. She is my nemesis and constantly annoys me over the smallest thing."

"Um... Did you... Did you really compliment her flank just like that?" Travian didn't like having his methods questioned.

"Yes. Of course I didn't mean it, she just isn't used to guys hitting on her like that."

"Hitting on her? What? You hit her?" He put up his hands, shaking them and his head.

"Oh no no no! No! I would never hit a woman unless she was attempting to kill me! No, I believe the word you people use is flirting."

"... What's flirting?" He really didn't want to answer that. That was until he saw the helmet.

"As part of your English learning, I recommend pulling up the dictionary and checking it yourself." He thanked himself for downloading the dictionary app on his helmet. He spent the rest of the day watching Mayella learn. After a few moments of her standing, she sat down next to Travian. By the end of the day, she learned how to formulate a basic sentence.

The second day of her learning was much like the first. The only difference was the fact that Rainbow Dash wasn't around. Instead of Rainbow Dash, he had Fluttershy to deal with. "Longshot... What's that?"

"Found this thing in the woods. It wasn't alive, so I put my helmet on it. It actually feels really good on my lap."

"But... Um... You have... You have a dead animal on your lap... And... Oh my gosh, is that a pony?" Travian looked down only to find a cute little body.

"No. At least, I don't think so. And trust me, I'm used to having dead animals on me." Leather was great, light protection. What could he say?

"But... It looks so much like a pony..." Travian put on a massive grin.

"Do I look like I care?" Fluttershy stared at him with what he thought was disgust. "It's dead, so I thought I should use it. I'd never want anything like this to go to waste." Suddenly, Mayella moved. That did not support him at all. "Oh. It may have been alive, I dunno."

"Oh my gosh!" She fluttered over to it. "Are you hurt?" Mayella remained silent and kept 'dead'.

"I think it officially died Fluttershy. Just go away and let me do my thing."

"But... But... How can you just witness something dying like that and not be effected? I mean, it's like you just don't care!"

"This brings me to my previous point." He put on the same smile. "Do I look like I care?" He was getting tired of Fluttershy pestering him. Honestly, can't a love-stealer learn a language in peace?

Fluttershy examined his face, and then sighed. "Fine... I guess you don't care..." He smiled as she left around the side of the cottage. Mayella then brought her head up.

"Do you know how hard it is to be dead?"

"Do you know how hard it is to die?" He was seriously frustrated by this fact. He's been impaled multiple times, been cut, been burned, almost everything imaginable. He seriously wondered how hard it was to die. With that little question, Mayella went back to studying. Once he was done sitting and actually ready to head into the village without permission, he got up. "I'm going to go to Ponyville for fun."

"Wait! Can't I come with you?"

"Do you know this language?" He said in English.

"I think I know enough." She replied in English.

"Wonderful!" He unlatched the helmet from Mayella. "Now turn into anything you want." She turned into Rainbow Dash. "That... It'll be weird but I think I can do it."

"I hope so!" She said that in Rainbow Dash's voice. Changelings not only changed their form, but they changed their voice too. He was incredibly interested in them now. Too bad she was an outcast.

When they arrived in town together, everything went slightly as planned. Some ponies were confused, some were frightened, and some were uncomfortable. All except one. It was the minty one. "Hi!" Travian had a moment where he was frightened for his life. Then he remembered she was obsessed with humans, not him. "I've been waiting for you to show up." Now he was terrified.

"Oh. Is that so?"

"Yes! You said you would answer my questions if I had any, right?"

"...Riiiight. Well. I'm actually doing something right now. Again."

"Awww... But... Can I just look at your hands again?" He held out his hand for her. She examined it for quite some time. He pulled it away from her after a while. "I guess this is goodbye then."

"Yes it is." He looked to Mayella who was giving a rather fierce look to the minty one. When they walked away from the pony, he turned to Mayella. "Are you getting possessive of me?"

"What do you mean?" She was still rather grumpy.

"Oh. Nothing." He moved his way through town. Of course, his life had to a massive joke because Twilight showed up. Hopefully, she didn't know about how Rainbow Dash hated him and he hated her.

"Oh hey Longshot. Why are you in town... And with Rainbow Dash? I thought she didn't like you?" He had to create an excuse, and quickly at that.

"Well..." He was out of ideas. Then one popped up in his head. "Dash and I had decided that we started on the wrong foot... So we started talking to each other. As it turns out, we had more in common than I thought. So... Now we're taking a walk together." He gave it his winning grin. He thought about what he said and thought about how horrible it would be in the future for him.

"That... I don't know how to take that. I really thought you two didn't like each other." She was almost able to detect his lie. Thankfully, Mayella butted in right there.

"Well I was wrong about him. I really do like him, even if he is a little bit of an egghead." Travian did not take that insult well.

"I don't even read books!"

"Yeah, but you're still so much more book-smart, or whatever they call it." He couldn't deny that.

Twilight was buying it, however. She gave her awkward goodbyes to them and left. Travian was gonna have a word with Mayella about that insult, but for now... "So why Rainbow Dash?"

"Why not?"

"Don't you give me that response! That's my response!" She sighed.

"I guess it was because I needed a disguise, and you always complimented Rainbow Dash... And..." She murmured something.

"What was that last part?"

"And I was kind of... Hoping that Rainbow Dash would show up and you'd be confused on who to compliment and touch..." His comfort zone was officially breached.

"Oh. That's awkward. And weird. If you wanted to be touched, you should have just asked me. Then again, I'd probably say no because I only do that to get her out of my way, not for fun." Though that was an added benefit. "So now that we went through town,  I think it would be best if we headed home." Together they went back to the cottage, but it was in an awkward silence.

Petty Magic

Chapter Fourteen: Petty Magic

Mayella had finished learning English, the national pony language. She could finally fit in with pony society. Travian was happy with this as he could go into Ponyville with no fear in the world. Fluttershy returned to the cottage, but went directly to Travian. Mayella turned into a bunny. "Hello Flutterrye. Any news?"

"Hello Longshot. Hello Mayella. Did you know a magician called 'The Great and Powerful Trixie' is coming to town today?" How was he supposed to know? "Everypony's talking about it, and I'd like to see it."

"Sounds..." His brother wouldn't approve. At all. "Interesting. I suppose we'll come as well." They agreed on coming together to this little event. They all came together in to Ponyville, and Mayella was resting on Travian's shoulders.

"So... How do you get her to do that?"

"Do what?" She pointed at Mayella.

"How do you get her to rest on you? I mean, Angel never does that with me..." Angel was a bully. Of course he didn't do that.

"Have you not seen how Angel acts? Mayella is a good bunny, Angel is not." She looked at Travian in surprise.

"What? Angel always acts good... At least as far as I know..." She doesn't know much, then. They turned a corner to the center square. There was a cart and a crowd of ponies. He followed Fluttershy to one of the front spots. He attracted quite a few eyes as he sat down next to Fluttershy. When he looked over, he saw Rarity, Applejack, the hated one that shall not be named, an Pinkie Pie. He tried to make himself unseen. He succeeded so well that ponies stopped staring at him. Though he had to hand most of the honors to the voice that boomed out from the stage.

"Come one, come all!" Twilight and her pet dragon made their way into the front row. "Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!" There was a poof of smoke and out from it came a blue pony with silvery hair. She had the most stereotypical wizard hat and wizard cape he had ever seen. Travian was unimpressed.

'I can do better magic then that... and I can't even magic!' he thought to himself. It was partially true. There were plenty of ooh's and aw's for her.

"Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!" There were dozens of fireworks behind her.

"Oh come on... I can do that with a blind fold." Mayella put her bunny ears over Travian's eyes. This reminded him to have a little talk with her about what she said when she was Rainbow Dash. "Not what I meant." She lifted her ears.

Rarity was next to speak. "My my my, what boasting." The dragon spoke next.

"Come on, no pony's as magical as Twi-" He stopped and his eyes grew large. "Twi... Twi! Oh... Uhm..." He coughed. "Hey Rarity, I uh..." Something must have dinged in his head as his eyes went wide open. "Mustache!" He then sped off. Twilight took his place.

"There's nothing with being talented, is there?" Travian decided to speak up.

"Being talented is a part of being you. Of course, when you aren't talented at what you think you are, example here, you often come off as a obnoxious fool." They all looked at him, surprised he was even there. Rarity took off.

"Well... I suppose so, but just because one has the ability to perform lots of magic does not make one better than the rest of us." Twilight was looking rather sad at that. Suddenly, the forsaken one spoke.

"Especially when you got me around being better than the rest of us!" Applejack and Travian together got on her case. "Uh... I mean, yeah! Uh... Magic shmagic! Boo!" Travian shook his head slowly.

"No." Suddenly, the stage seemed to take the focus again.

"Well well well, it seems as though we have some naaaayysayers in the audience!" Travian could have killed himself because of that pun. He could have. He contemplated it and found it a likely possibility. "Who is so ignorant as to challenge the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie! Do they not know that they're in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?" Travian laughed a little, but kept himself relatively unseen.

Rarity started talking and 'nay-saying' as it were. "Just who does she think she is?" The dragon butted in between the two horned ponies.

"Yeah! Since we all know that Twilight here is-"

"Spike!" She brought him out back away from the crowd. Suddenly, more rockets and flares everywhere. This Trixie character was turning into Travian's average con artist. The cyan one rushed forward, like she always does.

"So, 'the Great and Powerful Trixie', what makes you think you're so awesome anyways?"

"Why, only the Great and Powerful Trixie has magic strong enough to vanquish the dreaded Ursa Major!" Travian looked at all his previous knowledge of 'no real extreme violence in Equestria'. Suddenly, vanquishing of major things.

"Well... That escalated quickly." Rockets shot up in to the air. Out came the shape of a... He didn't even properly know what it was. It was so foreign to him. There was a bunch of woahs.

"What?!" "No way!" He specifically heard that in the crowd.

The G and P T continued her annoying tirade. "When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one to turn to but the Great and Powerful Trixie!" They picked her when all hope was lost and they had no one to turn to. That was not something to be proud of. "The Great and Powerful Trixie stepped in and with her awesome magic vanquished the Ursa Major and sent it back to its cave deep within the Everfree Forest!" So it was still alive in a forest that actually wasn't all that dangerous. That was fantastic news.

The same voices from before in the crowd said "Aw sweet!" "That settles it." "Trixie truly is the most talented, most magical, most awesome unicorn in Ponyville!" The pony that said that overly long praise had a snail on it's rump.

He was beginning to notice that every pony had one of those things on it's rump. Normally, he wouldn't look there, especially for a horse, but now it seemed necessary. They seemed to state some sort of personality or some sort of talent of theirs. A snail must have meant he was slow, which he kind of was.

"No! In all of Equestria!" There was a short and stubby one next to the one with a snail. He really wondered about those two. The dragon was royally pissed, which usually wasn't a good idea. Of course, he was supposedly a baby. With the rate at which he whined, it seemed so.

"How do you know?! You didn't see it, and besides Twili-" His mouth was now a zipper. Magic literally turned his mouth into a zipper. Travian was once again horrified at the monstrosity of magic.

Trixie laughed. "It's true, my enthusiastic little admirers! Trixie is most certainly the best in Ponyville!" There was a massive silence. Travian spied the audience and found that Pinkie and Fluttershy had left. Apparently, a boasting fool isn't their style. Travian also noticed that this pony loved referring to itself in the third person, which was indeed strange. Trixie continued. "Don't believe the Great and Powerful Trixie? Well then. I hereby challenge you Ponyvilleians: Anything you can do, I can do better." Travian laughed so hard internally. "Any takers? Anyone? Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine who ever lived?!" More flashy fireworks. He was just about to step it up, but then the dragon caught his attention as he unzipped his mouth.

"Pleeease! She's unbearable! You gotta show her! You just gotta!" He was grasping Twilight's leg. Stockholm syndrome probably already took it's course on the little bugger.

"There's just no way I'm gonna use my magic now, Spike. Especially since-" Trixie hmmed, cutting her off.

"How about..." She pointed her leg at Twilight. "You?" Twilight was quiet and probably freaking out for some time. "How about it, hmm? Is there anything you can do that the Great and Powerful Trixie can't?"

Twilight opened her mouth a little. "Um... We-" Trixie interrupted her.

"Well, little hay seed?" Trixie was pointed at... Applejack? Now he was confused. She was a bad pointer. Applejack exploded in anger.

"That's it! Ah can't stand for no more of this!"

"You show her AJ!" The little dragon said while she walked on up. Travian had confidence in Applejack. What could go wrong?

"Can yer magical powers do... This!" She started swinging a rope in a circle around herself by her tail. She then stood on one leg and did so. Then she started jumping in and out of the hole... Vertically. Travian wondered.

'What are physics how even do?' His thoughts were scrambled at that. She did a few more of the impossible. Then she let her rope go out and lasso an apple off of a tree. She then pulled it towards her, letting it shoot into her mouth. She then eat it. Trixie definitely had some competition. Everyone cheered and whooed.

"Top that, Missy!" She crossed her hooves.

"Oh ye of little talent... what and be amazed at the magic of Trixie!" She lifted off her stupid wizard hat and revealed her horn. Shen used her magic to turn the rope into a snake. It distracted Applejack long enough for another end of the rope to grab an apple. It then grabbed her lies and tied her up. It then turned her upside down and put an apple in her mouth. Ponies cheered and ponies laughed. There were no lizard-people laughing in that audience. "Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie prevails!"

Slainbow Crash flew right behind Trixie and then said "There's no need to go strutting around and showin' off like that!" Travian actually found a reason to respect her. He had to check his ears and eyes at least three times.

"Oh?" Trixie said.

"That's my job!" And so went her respect with her as she flew off towards a windmill Travian hadn't seen until just then. She used it to fly into the sky and punctured some holes in a few clouds. She flew through the holes left in the clouds, which he saw no point in doing so. She then went through the windmill again and landed on the stage. There were water droplets that were trailing her, and they all splattered on her. A rainbow appeared over her. "They don't call me *unspeakable* and *unthinkable* for nothin'!" Cheering as normal. Travian wasn't cheering at all. It was just a rainbow.

Travian really hoped Trixie would show her up for a few reasons. "When Trixie is through, the only thing they'll call you is loser." Now he hoped the forsaken one would win because of such a horrible comeback. He could have come up with that in his sleep. He probably already did, maybe once or twice. She shot a beam of magic at the rainbow above the braggart's head, causing it to encircle her. It created a rainbow tornado that lifted her up off the ground and flung her off stage.

When she got on the ground, she slowly spun to a stop. "I think I'm... Gonna be sick..." Travian made a single ha before looking back towards the stage.

"Seems like anypony with dash of good sense would think twice before tussling with the Great Trixie." He wanted to laugh and face palm at that. Suddenly, a small little cloud shot a bolt of lightning at the light blue winged one's behind. Now, he was fine with the whole tornado thing, and the whole bad jokes/comebacks. Heck, he was fine when she bragged a little! Travian, however, was not fine with the lightning bolt that was just launched. There was only one person he knew of with permission to touch her behind with anything, even if it were a lightning bolt, and it was him. Laughter ensued from the crowd.

The little dragon continued trying to get Twilight off her dumb face and do something. "What we need is another to challenge her." He poked Twilight with his elbow. "Someone with some magic of her own."

The cyan flyer continued. "Yeah! A unicorn to show this unicorn's who's boss!"

Applejack joined the team effort. "A real unicorn ta unicorn tussle!" Travian could stand it no more.

"Just get your lazy face up there, Twi-" Suddenly, a white unicorn appeared in front of him.

"Enough! Enough all of you. I take your hint, but Rarity is above such nonsense. *Undreamable* and Applejack may behave like ruffians, but Rarity conducts herself with beauty and grace." Now he knew what it was like to be Spike. This ruling race of mammals thing really bothered him now.

Trixie jeered. "Ooh, what's the matter? Afraid you'll get a hair out of place in that rat's nest you call a mane?" Rarity got super serious.

"Oh it is on." Rarity started heading up there. Travian had to comment, now that he thought about it.

"Your hair is a little ridiculous..." Rarity turned towards him.

"You don't even know anything about beauty!" She turned again, and started speaking to Trixie. "You may think you're tough with all your so called 'powers', but there is more to magic than your brutish ways." Travian could and couldn't confirm this. "A unicorn needs to be more than just muscle." She magicked the curtains over to her, and covered herself in them. "A unicorn needs to have style!" Suddenly, her hair was elegant, and the curtain had gold on it. When this happens, he didn't know. Magic is love, magic is life supposedly, so he guessed that is what happened. "A unicorn's not a unicorn without grace and beauty." The crowd of course ooh'd and ah'd again.

Trixie and Travian were disappointed and disapproving. Trixie had magic though, so she used that on Rarity. The dragon spoke. "Rarity won't let Trixie get the best of her! She's strong... She's beautiful... She's-" Suddenly magic blinded Travian. When he looked again he saw Rarity's hair was a messy probably literal rat's nest. It was green and had worms protruding from it. The crowd, as it could not shut up for a minute after every little thing, gasped.

"Quick! I need a mirror! Get me a mirror! What did she do to my hair? I know she did something terrible to my hair!" This would turn out horrible.

"Nothing." Twilight tried.

"It's fine!" The unnamed one lied.

"It's gorgeous!" Applejack cried.

Both Travian and the dragon said at the same time, "It's green." He attracted plenty of angry glares. "What, he said it too!" They still looked at him. "Racists..." Rarity was having a panic attack.

"Oh no! Green hair! Not green hair!" She started running away. "Such an awful, awful color!" She cried as she ran off.

"Now that is racist! It ain't easy being green, I tell you!" Travian attracted a little bit of attention, but thankfully not from Trixie. He did a good job having her avoid noticing him.

The dragon was not done. "Well Twilight, I guess it's up to you. Come on, show her what you're made of!" Twilight played it dumb.

"What do you mean? I'm nothing special..." The crowd shifted their gaze from Travian to her.

Both Travian and Spike said "Yes you are!" Spike looked at him before talking to Twilight again. "You're better than her!" The two thought alike sometimes. Travian supposed it was the scales communicating telepathically.

"I'm not better than anyone!" Trixie took notice.

"You think you're better than the Great and Powerful Trixie? You think you have more magical talent? Well come on. Show Trixie what you've got. Show us all!" Twilight of course played it stupid.

"Who me? I'm just your average run of the mill citizen of Ponyville! No powerful magic here." Travian's lie detector was showing massive amounts of lies and disappointment in this one pony. "I uh... I think I hear my laundry calling! Sorry gotta go!" She bolted right out of there, breaking Travian's lie detecting record.

"Twilight?" Spike called out. Travian was agitated at this point. He felt a little presence requesting him on his shoulder.

Mayella was nodding at him. "You wanna do this?" She nodded again. "Alrighty." He looked forward, prepared to stand.

The G P T continued. "Ha! Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie has proven herself to be the most amazing unicorn in all of Equestria. Was there ever any doubt?" The crowd almost started to leave and she was walking off stage when Travian stood, dwarfing the small ponies.

"Yes there was, actually." The crowd stared at him. Trixie came back with a look of disgust.

"And just what are you to try and dispute the awesome powers of the Great and Powerful Trixie?"

"Oh, I'm a guy. A guy who is gonna teach you a lesson. So pull up a chair as we get started, and sit yourself down, fool." He walked up on to the stage with Mayella standing at the ready.

"And just what kind of magic can you do?" He grabbed Mayella and presented her in bunny form.

"I can pull another Trixie out of a bunny." Everyone looked extremely surprised.

"What? That's ridiculous." Travian smiled as he was able to say the next line.

"Behold, the great and mighty powers of the Magnificent and Awe-Inspiring Longshot! Huzzah!" His hand erupted in green flames and in just a few seconds there was a Trixie right where his hand was. "Look before your very eyes and witness the powers of my magic!"

"But... But how did you even..." Trixie stuttered as Mayella switched back into a bunny and took her rightful place: On his shoulders.

"A good magician never reveals his secrets." He then attempted to walk away.

"Well I can make your tail disappear!" There was a sound of magic. Travian was stunned at her statement. Too stunned to move, or react. Suddenly, he felt a familiar weight disappear from his body. He turned and looked at Trixie. The crowd was laughing until they saw his look.

"So when will it come back?"

"You said a good magician..." She gulped at the sight of him. He was properly angry. He's been ticked off before, and he has been tempered before. He may have been grumpy at a time. Right now, however, he was properly enraged. "... Never reveals her secrets?" Travian was literally about to burst into a swearing hissy fit that was expected of a child.

But then he stopped himself. He could just ask Twilight for his tail back. 'Problem solved.' His entire face turned into a friendly gesture. "Oh, of course I did. Have a nice day now." He turned and walked away off stage. Trixie probably boasted behind his back. The crowd left shortly after he left.

Soon enough, he was all alone with Mayella. "You did good." She transformed into her normal sexy body.

"It was nothing, really. I am a changeling, after all."

"But you erupt into flames! Flaaaaaames!" He was practically whining about how cool it was.

"But I told you... I'm one of those weird ones they threw out, remember?" Travian saw his golden opportunity.

"So would you call yourself a..." He paused for dramatic effect. "STRANGELING?!?" She stared at him for the longest time before applying a sorely needed hoof to the face. Her reaction caused him to laugh until he hit the floor. Then he started rolling on the floor, laughing.

"What's so funny?" He brought himself up in a quick motion.

"I just love making stupid jokes or puns and having people pause before they react. It makes it that much more funny!"

"You are so weird..."

"Well you're a strangeling." He was going to call her that from now on. It was going to be a thing.

"... Are you seriously-"

"Yep. Get used to it, toots." It was a long walk to the cottage.

Travian woke up for some odd reason in the middle of the night. Mayella was snuggling right next to him, creating quite the cute display. He looked off towards Ponyville, expecting something. He grabbed his bow and quiver quickly, making sure not to wake Mayella. He started running towards town. Something was really off. Normally, there wasn't this much magic he could feel.

When he reached the edge of town, he saw a giant... Star-filled creature stand and roar. Travian nocked a single arrow and headed towards it. A single shot should have done it in. As he advanced to where it was, he saw many a terrified pony. "Help! Someone save the town!" He looked again to see the beast ready for a clear shot. He readied his bow, but stopped halfway in pulling his arrow back.

'I'm not getting paid for this. Why am I doing this?' He put his bow to rest, and took the arrow out. He then broke the arrow, dissipating it. He took up his bow and started walking away. Then he saw Twilight running.

"Longshot! You need to help me save the town!" He was in a bitter mood. This horrid event woke him up and prevented an adorable little love stealer from cuddling him. It may have been for warmth only, but cuddling is still cuddling!

"No. I ain't getting paid, I ain't doing anything." She had to stop and stare at him. He turned his back to her. The beast roared.

"But... That's cruel! Why not save the town and feel like you actually did something to help others from the kindness in your heart?" Travian's heart held little to no kindness for something of this nature.

"This town has a savior. A magical savior who's better than me. I'm being a villain by preventing her from doing her job." Twilight looked like she was thinking for a moment before she got it. "Now go out there and be you Twilight. The only one stopping you is yourself." Travian continued walking away. He wanted to be cuddled now. He felt as though he did something... Right.

Rightful Denial

Chapter 15: Rightful Denial

As always, Travian was doing something to keep himself preoccupied. That something in particular was napping, which he had grown quite proficient at. His eyes opened at the sound of somebody approaching. Mayella was gone, probably swimming with the fishes. When he looked around he saw a purple unicorn. He really didn't want to have the talk.

"Hey Longshot, I just came by to ask about why you left like that a few days ago." He was going to have the talk. Of course he would. How could he escape it? "I was just sort of preoccupied with my studies for Celestia and well, I kind of get carried away and forgot all about you." How honest. It really made him feel appreciated that she would go out of her way to forget him. "So... Why did you say 'you weren't being paid'?"

It was a simple question. It deserved a simple answer. He gave it the long answer because he was so very attached to these ponies, deciding he would eventually leave them in the dust. At least he could take Mayella with him, as she was an outcast like him. "I was a mercenary before crashing here. I worked for money. I do some things for no money, but for something like that, I am a gold digger. I don't go around saving the universe, you know. You want a universal savior, go get my brother." Though with the amount of magic here, he would rather exterminate the planet rather than save it.

"That's... Selfish." Travian lifted a curl of a smile.

"Ain't no rest for the wicked, I'm afraid." If he had a hat, he would tip it.

"By the way... I heard you mention your brother a few times now... What exactly is so special about him?" That was a huge question.

"I'd rather not answer that." She was about to speak, but Travian stopped her. "But I will give a few details. He's around... four years younger than me, is quite a bit taller, is insane, and despises magic with all of his otherwise massive heart and iron will. He also believes I am his cousin." Twilight clearly wanted to know more. Travian crossed his arms and rested upon them, not giving her any of what she wanted.

"Besides that 'hates magic' thing and the whole 'insane' idea, I think he sounds like a decent pony." He wasn't a pony, but okay. "Why aren't you that much like him in those regards? I mean, no offense, but most pony siblings are actually really similar or complete opposites."

"It had something to do with how we were raised, how he was rejected by our parents, how he learned to love and tolerate the everything out of everything, and how he had access to his tongue." Travian did forget about his tongue half the time. He got used to the metallic taste of an artificial tongue to replace the usage of a real tongue.

"... Wait, you didn't get to talk?" He lifted his mouth open, showing his tongue. "Oh. That's disgusting, actually. Um... Ew." He closed his mouth. "So... Still, why didn't you try to save Ponyville? You were right there with that thing," She pointed a hoof at his bow. "You could have done something!" She was starting to act like the nagging flier.

"The only thing I could have done was kill it. I don't kill freely, as that is wrong. If there was anything my brother taught me that was important, it was that." She looked sick at the mention of death. "What? It's only true. I presume you slew the beast, instead?"

"Actually..." She was still rather sick. "I just lifted it away with magic." She was a very strong magic user. He should probably try not messing with her. That might increase his survival rate.

"Oh. That's rather incredible." He saw Mayella crawling out of the river, seemingly not noticing Twilight. Twilight was about to look to her side, but Travian created a distraction quick. "I'm a distraction, look at me!" Twilight stared at him for around five seconds before applying face to hoof. "Success," He chuckled. Mayella noticed Travian by how loud he was, and in turn noticed Twilight. She switched to a bunny and ran all the way to Travian's shoulder. It attracted a look from Twilight.

"When did animals like you?" As if they never did before because he was that revolting. Twilight was just so nice.

"Oh no, they don't like me. Just this one. Dunno what I did, it just sorta happened." He shrugged, and so did the bunny. A glorious display, to say the least.Twilight, however, couldn't handle the glory.

"There's gotta be something besides that! I've been noticing you turn such important things into the most simple things, and it's annoying." Travian couldn't change who he was, so she would have to live with it.

"Me? Turn something simple? The important things, turned simple? Why... It's like I don't want to go into detail, or don't know how to go into detail! How preposterous." He would have to employ sarcasm against Twilight in order to get her to leave.

"You are so difficult, you know that?"

Travian lifted himself forward so he was sitting straight up. "And you love it, don't you?" He smiled maliciously, sinking back into previous position. Twilight backed up.

"What?! Excuse me?" Travian replaced his look with a worried one.

"What is it Twilight? Did something happen?" Twilight, sufficiently freaked out, backed up some more.

"How did you- What even- I don't-" Travian closed his eyes, and waved his hand in a shooing style.

"Go now, Twilight. I'm busy sleeping." She said some sort of warning or some sort of reckoning that she would come back and left. Once she was gone, Mayella transformed back into herself. "These females. Crazy, I tell you. Crazy! Typical, to be honest."

"Hey!" She almost smacked him on the head but was stopped by him staring at her.

"Not you, of course. You are not a typical female." She smiled sweetly at his compliment. "No, I am convinced you're not a female." Now she was back to being mad. "You can't be female because you are clearly out of this world." His complinsult got her to beam happily. It was easy pleasing some women with compliments. Changelings could be added to that list, but she was a strangeling, so she didn't count towards the changeling list. "Speaking of you being out of this world... How would you like to explore the stars and be on other worlds, seeing all sorts of amazing things?" Most of the amazing things were stolen, destroyed, or hidden by humans, but he knew of a few they didn't even know about.

"That... That sounds... Amazing." Her eyes gleamed. Then they faltered. "But wait... How could you go out there, with the stars? As far as I know, you can't fly!" He reached his hand to the sky.

"Out there, someone is coming for me. He will one day be here... And I can explore those planets. You could join me, even." He looked into Mayella's eyes, the adventure he sought clear. It would be fun travelling with a companion, after all. She could grow to be an actual friend of Travian.

Mayella was stunned. "Wh-who is coming for you?" She'd be an interesting companion. She wasn't a human, nor was she any type of alien he knew of. He would have to accommodate to that.

"My brother. Or, as you will address him whenever you see him, my cousin." Mayella looked away. Was she feeling pity for him?

"Oh... Did something happen between you two?"

"Not really, no. As far as he's known, I've always been his cousin. Our parents were liars, saying that his actual parents left him with us. I won't lie, our parents were undesirables. They are long buried now, however, so I'm fine." It was unfortunate that his past was quite tragic, but he didn't go into details. His eyes went wide. This was what Twilight was talking about.

"Um..." Mayella noticed his eyes widening. "Longshot? Are you okay?" His eyes returned to normal.

"Perfectly." They continued their normal conversation after that.

Travian had a dream that night. He woke up in his dream upon a bed of leaves. He should not have had his plated custom armor on. He looked to his side to see a familiar sniper rifle. It was secretly a crossbow, but nobody had to know. It was loaded, and pointed towards the door of the building he was in. He equipped his rifle, ready to fight a previous battle. He walked up to the door.

He kicked his leg forward, knocking the door to the ground. He raised his slender crossbow, but the only thing he found was an empty village with the ancient style of his birthright. He felt a familiar presence in the village. He raised the crossbow, looking for any lifeforms. He looked to his right to find nothing. He then looked to his left. He saw a single familiar alien.

Mayella was quivering in fear at him. He instantly saw the fearful look on her face and lowered the rifle. She was still quivering in fear. He started to approach Mayella, but that only made her back up in fear. He tried to reason with her. "Please. Mayella, it's me! You know... Longshot?" Mayella stopped shaking in fear once he said that.

"That-that's you? But-" She was cut-off by a human in armor grabbing her by the neck. Travian instantly lifted up his rifle, but then a voice ringed itself through his helmet.

"If you attempt to save this abomination, Longshot, then we will deduct a majority of your pay and may end up getting rid of your contract entirely." Money would be lost if he attempted to save her. He lowered his rifle and prepared to speak.

"Sir, with some due respect, I-" The human pulled out a knife. "- respectfully ask that you leave it alive and unharmed."

"Are you disobeying direct orders? Do we have to deduct your payment just because of this sympathy you suddenly developed towards this xeno?" He didn't want to lose all the money... But was it worth Mayella's life?

"Longshot, help!" The human was moving the knife closer to her heart.

"Sir... I- You know what, sir. You can go straight to the abyss and beyond." He raised the crossbow rifle and aimed directly at the middle of the visor of the human's helmet. He then pulled the trigger, causing a massive bolt to launch itself at the human. The bolt got stuck within his head, sticking out both sides. He started to reload the rifle, pulling back the four limbs that propelled the bolt. Mayella was stuck in place, staring at what he did. "I know what I did was wrong in your eyes. It was a life for a life, though, and his was hardly worth living. Yours was too valuable to lose."

Mayella was recovering from her shock, placing some sort of pale smile on her face towards Travian. "I-I-I... I guess I should thank you, then."

"No need. It was all a part of me doing my job." He placed a bolt within his rifle. It was ready to fire again. Suddenly, there was a large stomping sound. He looked to the source to see the one sight he didn't hope to see with Mayella around. His brother wearing his full plate mail with his gigantic sword that ended both magic and life quicker than Travian imagined possible. The sword, much like a claymore with the slender blade, large guard, and long hilt, was in his right hand. He was marching towards Travian, seeing Mayella as she was just saved.

"So I turn my back on you. I turn my back for one. Minute. And guess what I should find?" He quickened his pace. "I find a cousin who saves magic over abolishing it."

"Zashaisr, I fear that you are going insane." His brother was level with Travian. He spun around to face him.

"No! I am not going insane. I am more sane than you are now. Now let me finish my duty. Magic must be destroyed." Travian ran up to his brother, a hand ready to be placed upon his brother's pauldron.

"Please, just listen to me-" When he placed his hand down, a flash of a gauntlet came flying in his direction. He felt a crashing feeling in his rib cage. He felt himself thrown to the ground as well because of the sheer strength.

"You did that to yourself. And you did this to this being. In reality, it is all your fault, yet you don't see that. I am only doing my role, and I shall do it to my best ability." He walked slowly over to Mayella. She even attempted running, but only to find out he could traverse space and time faster than you could think. He was already in front of her as she turned around. "Now for you... You magical menace to my existence." Mayella turned back around and ran.

She could escape, though. He had picked her up. "Quite light, in reality. Huh." He then threw her over at Travian. "Longshot, as your cousin, I shall allow you to have a few last moments with her. Say what you will. As for the magic user... Try to be civil. I do not need you to put any more guilt on him." He slowly walked over to the two.

Mayella was virtually unhurt, but she seemed to struggle to get up. Travian knew the feeling. It was a heavy psychological effect from his brother. "Hey... You can't move either?"

"Who is he?!" She was terrified.

"He's my sibling." He looked over to him. His footsteps were becoming slower and slower, as if interested in where this would go. "Look... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the pain I am causing right now, and I'm sorry about the pain later. I didn't know he would come and ruin everything." Mayella looked over at Travian. "By the way..." He coughed from the ribs that were probably broken. "... You aren't actually hurt. Nothing is keeping you on the ground except yourself." Her eyes widened.

She actually lifted herself up, albeit slowly. She was in obvious shock at all this. Travian smiled. "Now go..." Another cough. "Run. I can keep him back." Mayella wasn't running for some reason. "Why aren't you running, you fool?" He coughed again.

"I can't just leave you with him!" She lowered herself so her eyes were on level with Travian.

"Yes you can. Just do it." For a dream, the pain was surprisingly real. "I'm doing this to-" He coughed."- protect you." Mayella almost ran away. She almost ran. Then she did something extremely strange, weird, and stupid. She moved herself closer to Travian. "What are you-"

She pressed her fanged lips against his. Why she would ever do that, he wasn't sure. He was just doing his job. He pulled away from the kiss and armed himself with the strangest expression. "Why?! You could have ran... I could have stopped him! And now you are just angering him!" Her eyes opened.

"Wait... You didn't enjoy it?" Travian could have face palmed. Unfortunately, it was not the time for face palming. He pointed behind Mayella, and she turned to see a towering metallic figure. The figure had a long blade in the air that was held there. A look of surprise filled Mayella's face, and the sword slowly came down. Everything slowed down for Travian. It just goes to show that his brother ruined everything. Also, his eyes were extremely irritated for some reason.

Preparations For Fury

Chapter 16: Preparations For Fury

Travian awoke with the bottom of his eyes and a tiny bit of one of his cheeks cold. He checked really quickly to find they were actually wet at some point. That was utterly strange. Mayella awoke shortly after his discovery, breathing heavy and her eyes wide open. He was really wondering about what got her so worked up. "Woah. What's got you all like you've seen a ghost?" He was in slight concern. After all, he would have to travel with this person eventually. He couldn't have this happen every few nights.

She replied with looking at him, and then suddenly being relieved. Travian really didn't know what was her deal today. When Travian checked, it wasn't day. Actually, it was morning, which was incredibly strange for him. "It was nothing... Just..." Her eyes grew larger as she realized something. She then turned her head. "It was nothing." If he was sure of it, he'd say that blue glow in her cheeks was actually a blush of some kind, but maybe it was just him.

"Well alrighty then. I guess I can believe you... For now. I'm gonna go dry my face." He slowly got up, knocking one of Mayella's hooves off of his lap. She stopped him, though.

"Wait... Turn around." He turned around. She observed his face. "Are those... Are those te-"

"One more word. One more and I swear I will do horrid things to you in your sleep." That got her to move into a stead silence.

"... What kind of horrible things?" Mayella was confused on even the simplest things.

"The only way you're going to find out is if you try it, and I don't think you should try it. I can do some pretty horrible things." Mayella was silent, as if contemplating something. She then murmured some sort of agreement, which Travian could hear but wanted to hear her say louder. "What?"

"Um. I said, uh, 'How would I know?' because, you know, uh... How would I, right?" Travian smiled at her horrible attempt to cover it up.

"Right. Totally. Obviously." He made it as obvious as possible that he didn't believe her. "Anyways. Drying off face is number one priority." He turned around and wiped off the enigma that was located near his eyes and cheeks. With his face feeling thoroughly dried, he looked to the morning sky. There was a small bit of smoke coming from a mountain. "Huh."

"What is it, Longshot?" He looked back then pointed at the smoke. "Oh. That might actually be serious."

"And you presume I care about such a thing? Trust me, this smoke means nothing." It was smoke that came from a life form. Virtually, completely harmless. In the mind of a civilian, however, it was a terrible thing that could spell Armageddon. It might have actually been from that huge dragon he saw a some time ago. He turned around with almost complete ambivalence.

"But it's smoke! And where there's smoke, there's fire. Even I know that." That's what they taught each other? Travian thought that was a stupid message.

"Not necessarily. I mean, it could be a smoke monster."

"That's even worse!"

"Your face is worse!" His childish come back actually managed to shock Mayella. Now she was upset.

"Do you really think so? I mean- I can change it, if you want!" He stopped her.

"Whoa. Calm down, please. I didn't mean for you to get so offended. Look," He crouched down and felt the bottom of her head with his index finger and his thumb. "Your pretty little face is perfect just the way it is. It feels nice, it looks nice, and the mind behind it is beautiful."

Travian got his wanted smile from Mayella. Actually, it was more of a surprised face, but it was a happy surprised face. He counted it anyways. "Well... Thank you."

He let his hand fall back down and stood straight up. "You're welcome. Now whadda we do today?" There was some sort of longing expression on Mayella's little fanged face. As if something she always had had gone away with the wind, and she so desperately wanted it back. What a poor little thing.

"I guess... The same as we always do?"

"Try to take over the world?" She stared at him. He stared at her. Then they both started giggling at the absurdity of what he just said. The funniest thing for Travian is that, if he tried, he could actually do it. "I know, I'm ridiculous."

One of the greatest things to see is how Fluttershy feeds the animals every morning. He had not seen it before, and was impressed. She was on her little bridge over the little river, and she brought some fish out. She went under and dropped them for something, he wasn't quite sure. She left them under the bridge, but he never saw anything under the bridge. She then went back to her basket and picked out some worms. She flew the worms over to a tree and fed them to birds. She then flew down to Angel's little rabbit house.

"Not too fast now, Angel Bunny. You don't wanna get a tummy ache." It stopped eating the carrot, only eating the tip of it, and then dropped it. Its attitude was out of control. "You really should eat more than that, don't you think?" He then began running away. Or hopping, or bouncing, or whatever it was rabbits did. She then picked up the carrot and began chasing after it, saying "It's not playtime yet!"

When she caught up to it, it was out of hearing distance. She hadn't actually noticed Travian, but that was probably because he was supposed to be asleep. This meant Mayella could speak now. "That rabbit has got one of the hugest attitudes ever. And when I was a bunny, he started getting this huge ego and saying that he had already been around you dozens of times, avoiding his claws and teeth every time." What a liar! He never attacked the little thing. It wouldn't have been worth his time. "It was so funny watching his jaw drop when I came and sat on your shoulders while you were sleeping. He tried that, but then you woke up. He ran so fast, and I was just laughing."

"You done good. You definitely done good. Hey, you think he's trying to compensate for something?" She giggled. "Or maybe... Maybe he likes you." She continued giggling. He looked back towards Fluttershy, who was trying her hardest to persuade the little thing to eat the carrot. Then he saw the bunny kick the carrot. "Mayella, rabbit now. I'm off to destroy a bunny, and you are gonna watch."

"Wait what?"

"Just do it." She just did it and went on to his shoulders. He walked his way over to the bunny, who was coughing slightly. He could hear Fluttershy again.

"Are you coughing because of the carrot stuck in your throat?" It coughed again. "Because you need some water?" It then coughed like a human for some reason. It then pointed her head upwards, but her view was cut by Travian standing. "Oh! Hi Longshot. Why're you up so early?"

"Because somebunny isn't eating his carrot." He always wanted to say that. Angel face palmed so hard. He then pointed behind Travian.

"Oh wait... Is he talking about that?" He pointed at the black smoke, which rapidly expanded for some reason. Weird.

She gasped. "So you were coughing about that giant cloud of scary black smoke!" Angel threw the carrot at the back of Fluttershy's head. Travian, of course, blocked it. Nobody would lay a finger on his Flutterfinger. "Oh. I'll take that as a yes. Oh no, I have to warn Ponyville!" Travian wasn't gonna help, as he would only attract desperately needed attention.

"You go do that." Fluttershy stayed and looked Travian.

"You could help, you know... I mean, um, if you want to, that is."

"Oh Flutterwry, you are so adorable when you attempt to convince me to do something." Mayella kicked his head. "Stop it, silly! Anyways, I don't wanna. Kay, thanks, bye." He turned his back to Flutter and walked away. If she was a hater, she would most certainly hate. Of course, Mayella was the biggest hater of all time apparently. Well, actually she was second only to Cranelow Sash.

"So she's adorable when she tries to persuade you, but I'm not?" He thought he went over this.

"You're adorable all the time, though. I thought you knew this. Am I considered forgiven now?" She had a thoughtful expression and a hoof to her chin before she said anything.

"I suppose. But don't let me catch you complimenting females again!" Travian thought for a minute.

"So does that include you? And can't you turn into those females to appease me if you really want to that much?" It seemed like she did. He wondered why, though.

"No, that doesn't include me, and... I guess I could. But that's more difficult, and according to you it wouldn't be nearly as attractive." She did a little pose that he just thought was cute. He almost let loose a d'aw.

"Well yeah, that's true. Well... I can think of one exception..."

"And just who would that be?"

"Me. I am the best and most attractive female." He really hoped that she wouldn't take that literally.

"You're a girl?!" She did, causing Travian to sigh.

"No. Look, it was a thing from where I come from. It involves saying 'I am best something' in a joking manner. It's fun, when you get into it." She looked at him for a few seconds.

"So I am best changeling?"

"Stop listing facts! And you are a strangeling, get it right!" A bonk on the back of his head made his day.

Fluttershy returned to the cottage relatively early. "So, how'd it go? Meet any new friends that don't want to destroy me?" She was in a hurry.

"It's a dragon... And I thought you and Rainbow Dash liked each other, or that's what Twilight told me privately to watch out for." She realized her blunder. It was a classic blunder, the most famous of which is 'don't start a land war with space', but the close second is never say what was supposed to be private! Travian started laughing maniacally.

"You fool!" He continued laughing and then stopped. "So a dragon, eh? Maybe I can help."

"Oh no... Well actually, maybe. I dunno, Twilight said something about you probably not wanting to have any part of this. Something about you having to be... Paid?" He was shocked.

"What? Why would she say that? I'd do something like this out of the kindness of my... heart! Yes that one." He forgot he had a heart. He had repressed it for so long, and it almost never helped him. In fact, it mostly ended up hurting him most of the time. "Anyways, I advise we get prepared. Don't want to go without everything I need."

"Good idea..." She turned and began fluttering. She spun her head around at Travian. "Oh... And thanks, Longshot..." He smiled and waved as she went into the cottage. He went over to his pile of things and put on his quiver. He then equipped his bow. He was officially ready. He then remembered one crucial part of his stature. He flipped his hood on, and was officially and totally ready.

After the longest time, Fluttershy came out in some sort of ridiculous armor get up. "Great. Now then," the door closed behind her, causing her to sound out a most adorable terrified sound. "While that was adorable," he saw a bunny give him a bad look. Mayella was getting rather possessive about his compliments. "I believe we are ready to go, so let's go!"

"Um... Let's not..." She then let out a terrified sound.

"Nonsense!" He then smacked Fluttershy's behind to get her up. It worked with regular horses, so he thought that it would work with ponies. Unfortunately, all it caused was some sort of moan. That was strange. "... Okay, let's just go and avoid this conversation."

"Yeah..." He could see the massive blush behind her helmet. "I agree, even if it means having to see a big scary dragon..."

"By the way, you should probably take off all that stuff." She looked at him with an open mouth. "I mean, it's heavy stuff. You wanna fly to avoid the dragon if he's dangerous, right?" She stopped looking so offended and started nodding in agreement. "Good. So take it off." He had to make it sound horrible. Otherwise, it wasn't fun.

He was in the line of ponies, waiting for instruction from the purple one. She was looking over something, and didn't notice him. She then turned around with her eyes closed then begun. "Alright girls," She then opened her eyes, seeing Travian. "And... Apparently Longshot, listen up! I'm mapping out the fastest route, but we've all got to keep up a good pace if we expect to make it up the mountain by nightfall." Fluttershy was horrified at the mention of mountain.

"M-m-mounta-" Travian, however, was having none of that.

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am!" He saluted.

"The dragon is in that cave at the very top." He didn't mind the distance. He got orders, and that was enough for him to be satisfied. Well... Whether he liked to admit it or not, Mayella made everything better.

"Looks pretty cold up there..." Insubordination was what he spied.

Then the hated spoke out. "You bet it is! The higher-" Travian was having none of that too.

"Insubordination and lowering troop morale! What do you have to say for yourself, you sorry excuse for a winged pony?!" He was now being a drill instructor. How wonderful.

"Um... Wait what?"

"You heard me! Now fall back in line! Twilight, continue please." He fell back in line. She magicked out her map and started examining it. Suddenly, Fluttershy spoke out again.

"Twilight, I know you're busy-" He had to yell at Fluttershy.

"Little miss yellow, I never asked for your opinion. Fall back in line!" Now not once had he ever even attempted to yell at Fluttershy, so this is new. She shook in fear at the power of his voice. She didn't move. "What did I say, private?! What, do you have something you wanna say?!"

She made a sound that sounded like eep, and Travian received dirty looks from most of the ponies. "I just wanted to know if I can stay in Ponyville!" She was talking really fast.

"Why don't you take that up with Twilight, then?" His voice returned to normal. He received a few strange looks from the ponies. "What?" Fluttershy, however, took his advice.

"So Twilight, I kind of, sorta, want to.. Um... Stay in Ponyville..." Twilight was very absorbed in her map.

"Uh huh."

"Oh thank you Twilight! I'll just stay here and-" Twilight realized what she just said and turned her head to Fluttershy.

"Wait! You have to come!" She turned her head back to the map. "Your way with wild animals will surely come in handy." She did have that skill.

"I don't think I-" Twilight felt like interrupting today.

"Oh, and don't worry about your friends in the meadow. Spike's got it covered while you're gone." There was the dragon, surrounded by woodland creatures. Two bunnies were on top of his head.

"You can count on me!" Suddenly, Angel thumped his head multitudes of times, causing Spike to drop all the animals. He noted that one of the rabbits came bursting towards Travian immediately. "Hey! Hey! Wait!" Mayella secured her position on Travian's shoulder.

Fluttershy responded again. "I don't think he's up to the task. Maybe- But... But!" She made that adorable little noise she makes when she's scared. Pinkie Pie got out a balloon for some inexplicable reason. The unnameable one began speaking to Twilight in secret. This allowed ample time for Travian to talk with Mayella.

"So... You aren't coming with me." Her mouth turned into a frown. "Sucks, I know, but you're gonna have to deal with it. But hey! Look on the bright side! You can manage the place with Spike!" She frowned even more. "Just deal with it, alright? I'll be back before you can say... Well actually, you can probably say anything before I'm back. Oh well, I tried." She got off his shoulder and started bouncing away. Oh how he loved to see the fine fine ladies bounce.

He noticed Fluttershy being scared of her own shadow and jumping into a bush. That got a chuckle out of him. "Alright girls!" Pinkie's balloon deflated. "Move out!" They all headed together towards the mountain for glory and dragons! Unfortunately, a Flutterblock was blocking the road, so they picked her up and dragged her off with them.

Toying With Fire

Chapter 17: Toying With Fire

A roar came from the top of the mountain. Travian, however, was not intimidated. Seriously, it was just a roar. It could be loud, and so could he. Why was he so concerned about not being intimidated? It was because every other group member was terrified due to the roar. "What was that?" asked the rainbow-haired should-be-blonde.

"That is what it sounds like when a dragon snores." This dragon was pretty big then. Fluttershy had cowered behind Applejack, and poked her head out.

"It's s-so high..." The insensitive rainbow flew into the opportunity to be informative.

"Well it is a mountain. I'm gonna fly up there and check it ou-" Travian grabbed her tail, which Applejack was about to do anyways.

"No. I scout ahead, you stay with the group. After all, safety in numbers for ponies, safety in solitude for me." That was a true statement, but also a false statement. While he was safer by himself, with that much help against a single dragon it would most certainly be safer.

"Now hold on now, Ah think we should all stick tog-"

"No, Applejack. Ponies stick together, I'll go alone. Such is the way of things." He ran away towards the mountain. It wasn't too steep, so he could go up it relatively fast. The ponies were arguing among each other, but they eventually decided on going up the mountain. They were extremely slow at climbing, though. He continued climbing up, sometimes having to dig his claws into the mountain, which was not fun. He may have broken a finger or two, but he was sure he could break it back to fix it.

As he was climbing, he certainly wasn't expecting his hand to fall into the rock. He really didn't expect it so much, and as such was rewarrded with his entire body falling inward. He was flopped down onto his back. He raised his head to try and see where he was. He could only identify it as some sort of cave. His eyes were rapidly adjusting to the darkness.

Eventually pulled himself up. He walked slowly through the cave, hoping not to fall into a chasm. That was the least he needed. He looked deeper into the cave, which was flowing up very subtly. There was a small glimmer in the darkness, possibly being a deposit of metal. He started running in that general direction, hoping for no traps or creatures to get to him while he was running. Thankfully, nothing did.

He found the glimmer to actually be a pile of gold. There were a few gems in it, but he was uninterested in gold. Sure, it was an expensive commodity, but he was not a looter. It was simply against his code. Of course, he would collect ammo and weaponry, but not actual money or items. He looked further upward, seeing larger piles of gold and gems. Then he saw something rather peculiar.

He ran up to the strange object. He tried being silent and sneaky as this was supposedly a dragon's cave, but it was asleep, right? The strange object was a long spear. It poked out from the pile and was quite undamaged. In fact, not a single speck of dust or piece of damage was located on it. It was as if this dragon really loved this thing, or it was magical. He added the spear to his mental artifact list. He had several pieces of cloth on his clothes that were specifically for holding different weapons. He spent a few moments strapping his spear onto his back.

He then heard some sound from a little bit further on in the cave. It sounded like... Large and heavy footsteps. They were getting a little bit louder, signalling for Travian to get a single arrow ready. He crouched down, causing the spear to obscure a long bar of his vision. He attempted to stay near the wall, moving slowly towards the footsteps in a hope that he would find the exit.

After several long minutes, Travian's eye beheld a rough shape of a large, winged beast. He kept moving while it stood there and looked around. As it happens, that wasn't the best idea as it actually noticed him. "You thief!" the dragon roared. Actual dragons that weren't Spike could talk on this planet. What was next, a walking and talking mixture of ponies, dragons, and griffons?

The dragon then breathed fire. Travian had to roll out of the way to avoid the flames. He didn't feel particularly magic resistant as he normally was when flames appeared. While magical flames were moderately feared by him, real dragon fire was possibly the most horrifying thing ever. Well, besides his brother being angry, but what could top that? Travian got up from his crouched position and proceeded to try to run up. The dragon started stomping after him, clearly faster. It was cheating, though, because it had wings.

Travian turned around for a quick second and fired his arrow he had ready. It bounced off the dragon's scales. "That's cheating!" he yelled before turning and promptly trying to find the exit. He finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. There was also light from fire behind him. He tried sprinting for great justice, trying to out speed the flames. He was too slow though, He had to go through the fire and flames. It was very hot, but the spear he had on his back was actually creating some sort of spinning vortex of air around him, keeping all the flames away. He was cheating the cheater, and it was glorious.

He brought out another arrow, and nocked it quickly. He turned around and fired an arrow aimed at its head. Something terribly strange happened. Something was incredibly magic with the wind in that cave because that arrow should have hit. Everything was perfect. Suddenly, a gust of wind deflected the arrow. It caused him to miss. Extremely enraged, Longshot turned around and shouted, "That was a warning shot!" It wasn't a warning shot at all. It was just that cheater cheating his cheats.

When he turned around, he found himself outside. He was rapidly speeding towards a cliff. He stopped himself and turned around. There was a gigantic dragon standing on it's hind legs, ready to destroy Travian. He prepared his bow to fire another arrow, but a giant hand came down and knocked the bow out of his hands. The bow actually went over the edge. He turned his head to face the dragon. "Leave the spear and the arrows, and you may live, thief." This dragon was actually going to reason with him. Of course, his quiver was important to him.

"Ha ha ha ha! Good joke!" He pulled out the spear, which he had no experience with. Not once had he used a spear or even a pole arm. Now he knew how to handle a sword: pointy end goes into other man. He thought that rule applied with spears as well. The dragon let loose a stream of fire, so Travian poked his spear forward, expecting something amazing. Unlike last time, something amazing happened when he tried to save himself. The flames were flying around the spear and Travian instead of burninating him.

With his utter destruction prevented, he let loose a roar of war. He pulled the spear back, and prepared another thrust. He started charging towards the dragon, expecting a glorious result. He would stab the dragon's leg, causing it to fall down. He would then jump onto it and stab it through the heart, and behold in awe as he was blessed by the Old Ones to win this battle. The ponies would celebrate and venerate him. His victory would be written as legend!

The large hand of the dragon came down and knocked him aside, and promptly caused him to fall off the edge of the cliff. His painful grunts kept repeating themselves as he kept bouncing on and off the rock. It wasn't incredibly steep, so it was more like falling down stairs. He could feel multiple bones probably breaking as he kept rolling down. It seemed like an eternity of pain before he finally reached the ground. It was a painless collision as he had gone numb.

And so he lied there on the ground. He was defeated, bloodied, and badly broken. He had gotten a single magical weapon, and that was what he had to show for it all. "Why universe... Why..." It was kind of pathetic, really. He should have known not to blindly charge ahead with his spear like that! Then again, he had a long pointy stick. What else was he supposed to do? When he was able to finally move his head, he looked around his crash. He found his bow just a little distance away from where he fell, so that was convenient. He rested his head on the ground and prepared for a horrible nap of shame.

When he awoke from his nap, he found himself in the same place. It was just darker. Well actually, it was night time. He really hoped he was forgotten. He would rather not want to explain his failure. A little zapping noise made itself heard by him. He looked around and found his brother walking towards him rather slowly. "So. How'd your date go?" Travian tried sighing, but it only hurt. "Ah. That bad, huh? Well, from the look of things, it was pretty bad. So where do I drop you off at?" Travian tried speaking, but again it hurt. "Huh. Where's this cottage?" He tried speaking painese. "I see. Alright, I'll take you there."

His brother lifted him up over his shoulders. "You bought her breakfast instead of dinner, didn't you? Or did you not include the wine?" He grunted. "No wine huh? Shame that." Travian really did not like how his brother always teased him like this. He was supposed to be the older one! "So. Magic. It's everywhere. I'd rather not be surrounded by it, but here you are with your everything plus one broken." Plus one? What plus one? "Oh, trust me. Your helmet has been on a few times, and I've been able to see everything I needed from that. That plus one... The yellow one. She's rather shy, I'll admit, but I suppose that's a given for you."

The trip to Fluttershy's cottage was long. In fact, it was way too long for Travian. His brother, while sometimes fun or useful, is annoying at times. They got there, though, and he was dropped in front of the bridge. "While I'd love to chat, I have to find and guide my ship here, and to be honest that needs my attention more. However, I will have you know I should be here within a few months. Don't get too settled in, Longshot, because I will come and take you no matter what." He tried grunting something. "No. You don't get to bring one. Too much magic to tempt me. I'd kill it before we got in to space. Anyways, I bid you farewell, cousin." He zapped away.

That was a thing about him. If he wanted a loud entrance, he would get one. If he wanted a quiet entrance or exit, he would just zap away like that. So there he was again. Left alone on the front step of Fluttershy's cottage. Broken, bloodied, and breathing. There was a small zap again. "Oh, I suppose you want someone to know you're here. Allow me to help." His brother disappeared yet again, but this time leaving a loud warping sound. Dozens of animals were freaking out because of it. The door to the cottage also opened.

From out of the cottage, he saw an extremely tired Fluttershy who clearly wanted to be in bed. She woke up suddenly when she saw all the animals in an uproar. She tried to calm them, and mildly succeeded. She herself calmed down rapidly as well when the animals all went back to sleep. At least she was calm when she for a short period. Then she saw a heavily injured Travian who's condition was not getting any better.

Travian would like to have said she didn't freak out. He would have liked to have said a certain bunny had not noticed her freaking out and then investigate said thing that was freaking her out. In fact, he would have love to have said this bunny wasn't freaking out as well. Such things, however, he could not say at all. He could have said that opposite, though. His sense of hearing was dulled by the incredibly loud sounds before, so he really could hear anything in particular. His sense of sight was also kind of damaged as everything was a blur at that point.

What he did know was that he effectively blacked out at a moment he didn't want to deal with. When he woke up on a familiar couch, he was slightly relieved. When he saw a purple unicorn with an inquisitive look on her face, he was slightly terrified. Only slightly, however. "How did you get so hurt?" Truth be told, it could have been avoided had he not grabbed a thing.

"I grabbed a thing, then suddenly dragon." His brain was probably a little broken at this point too. "So then it flung me off a cliff. Wasn't fun." She stared at him.

"That's not something normal ponies survive."

"Do I look like a pony? Seriously, girl, get some glasses." It was strange, though. How did he survive that fall? He looked down to see the rest of his body and he found a bunny on him. "Oh hey look, fuzzy thing. Hi fuzzy thing, my name's Longshot. How you doing?" The little bunny hugged him a little bit. "That's good, I guess. I suppose it's great to find some sort of love in another. Now don't you jump straight into what bunnies do, now, you hear? That stuff is unsanitary and creates too many rabbits bouncing around." The bunny had some sort of expression saying 'ew'. "Don't you be saying that to me now! I know what you little buggers do."

Twilight was looking at him like he was insane. "Right so... I think I hear my-"

"Laundry calling? Yeah, I can hear it too. It's saying 'quick Twilight, escape! We need you!'" He smiled as she back pedaled out of the room. It was fun reminding her of her excuses. He focused back on the bunny who then changed into a strangeling. "Hola, senorita. Como estas?"

The strangeling looked at him strangely. "I'm sorry what? Oh yeah... I missed having you around. All the animals are boring here, and Spike didn't help at all." Who could have seen that coming?

"So. How was your date with Angel? Was it fun?" He almost got a little bonk on the nose, but Mayella halted when she realized how injured he was. "Oh go ahead. It's not gonna hurt me any worse."

"But it'd hurt me by making me feel guilty!"

"Guilt? Wow, didn't know you guys had that. Or maybe it's because you're a strangeling." There was the bonk he was looking for. It was great to not be fighting a dragon and possibly dying. He looked across the room while they were laughing and saw his spear propped up against the wall. How fun that thing would be.

Judgement

Chapter 19: Judgement

From the previous night, he saw a nemesis prevalent within the room. He also some ponies walking down the stairs. He looked down to see a bunny in its place. He raised himself up. He decided to open up the conversation. "Hello, ponies. What are you all doing now?" The pink one responded with an overly energetic voice for this time of day.

"Well, since last night was so fun-" Travian didn't think the last part of it was that fun, "- I've decided that we all should get some cupcakes down at Sugarcube Corner!" He felt his doom approaching as he asked this question.

"...The heck's a cupcake?" Pinkie Pie was walking at the moment he asked that question. When he finished, she was like a statue, with her eyes wide open. She remained like that for several seconds. Travian poked Pinkie's mane, half to wake her up and the other half to know how it felt, and asked "Hey? You okay?" Pinkie then somehow grasped Travian's face with both hooves and looked him straight in the eyes.

"You don't know what a cupcake is?!"

"If I knew, would I ask?" The ice, while pretty and quite a refresher to the hot temperature, was very delicate and he believed he was walking upon it in quite a dangerous way. He was surprised when Pinkie let go and pointed to the door.

"We need to get you to Sugarcube Corner, stat!" She then started pulled Travian to the door. He couldn't even resist. He really wondered why cupcakes were so important. Were they love and were they life? Or are they the meaning to life? Were cupcakes all? He wasn't sure at this point.

And so he was dragged all the way to Ponyville halfway against his will. While it was fun getting to listen to the Pinkmeister for quite some time as she prattled on about the importance of the cupcake gods, he really wanted to know what a cupcake was in general. He had a feeling he wouldn't when the pinkling stopped abruptly as she looked through the abandoned streets. In the middle of it was a cloaked individual looking rather suspicious. "Well that's not suspicious or anything."

"Quick! Get inside!" The pink one was now pulling him completely against his will. He found himself shortly in a building.

"Wait." He took in the new environment. "Okay I'm ready. So who was that?"

"That was Zecora! She's super spooky, super creepy and super mysterious." Travian really didn't see why.

"She doesn't seem like it." She was pawing at the ground for some reason. "Maybe the mysterious part, but she doesn't fit the other bills to me." Then she lifted her head and then showed her head to Travian. He looked at her eyes which were surprisingly yellow. "Maybe the creepy part now, but not spooky." He covered the window after that. "But if we are apparently condemning her, that's fine." He took a seat in the building, prepared to wait the supposed 'siege' out. He was racking up a question, but then an Applejack and a small yellow pony without a mark on her rump appeared in the Sugarcube Corner.

"Is that Zecora?" The little yellow pony said that. Applejack got all defensive at this.

"Apple Bloom! I told ya not to say that name!" Now Travian had a chance to ask his question. He was laying back on a counter in the dark, so he had the surprise factor.

"So. What makes her so different compared to me?" All the ponies were surprised at how he changed his position and then just appeared like that. It was fun scaring them. The small yellow one was the most scared. He lifted himself up to full height and walked over to this 'Apple Bloom'. "Hello, little one." He dropped down on to a knee to try and stay equal with her. He flashed his teeth in a smile. A devious one, at that.

The yellow pony started backing away. "Applejack... What's that?!" Travian got up and turned to Applejack.

"Yeah, Applejack! What am I? And don't you lie to me this time! I expect the truth." It was now Applejack's turn to be puzzled at him.

"Um..." Travian turned to the littler yellow pony.

"Do you see what I have to deal with, here? I swear, this girl always lies to me." Establishing his friendly presence was rather easy, as the yellow one loosened on the whole 'there's an alien, let's fear it' idea.

"Well Ah have to deal with her every day because she's mah sister." Travian gaped his mouth.

"Wow. I am so sorry for you." He turned to Applejack and barked a command. "You better not lie to your little sister like you lie to me!" He looked off to the entrance of the shop to see Pinkie dragging Rarity in as well. "Oh hello. Lovely day, isn't it, madame?" Rarity obviously wasn't expecting him to be so polite.

"Well... I suppose it could be. Zecora's in town though, so it's not that lovely of a day." Travian went back to the back of the shop where he watched the ponies. He responded to Rarity before advancing in the other direction.

"A thousand pardons, then." He sat back and waited for the expected Twilight. Seriously, he started noticing this pattern where if all five other ponies are present, Twilight with a fifty fifty percent chance arrives with Spike. It was wierd. And as if on cue, Pinkie tried convincing her to come in.

"Quick! Come in, before she gets you!" That's all he heard. Twilight bounced in with Spike on her back.

"Who, the zombie pony!?" Travian tensed up. Zombies were no laughing matter.

"Z-z-zombie pony?" Pinkie was also scared by the mention of zombies. Of course, Twilight, second place in the 'ruiner of all fun' awards, has to destroy the moment.

"Spike! There are no zombie ponies." Travian wasn't so sure. Zombie ponies actually sounded extremely likely. Maybe... Maybe Zecora was a necromancer! That was a stunning realization to Travian. He always wanted to meet a necromancer... Especially one who wasn't necessarily hostile. Zecora seemed like a good target for this wish. "Pinkie, what are you doing here all alone in the dark?" He could have made that a lot worse. He really had to try not to make it worse.

"What else would she do with me here?" Travian was not great at trying. It was not a good strong suit for him. The lights were dim when they came back on. All the ponies were looking directly at him. Then the little yellow one, Apple Bloom, said something with a confused expression.

"What do ya mean by that?" Applejack hushed her down, and the attention was off him. Twilight continued.

"First, ew. Second, what are you all doing here in the dark?"

"Condemning the seemingly innocent. You?" He received a smack to the head from his number one enemy. Apparently, she had full rights to beat him senseless now. Of course, normally when he gets hit across the head, it doesn't hurt that much. "Ow. What? It's the truth!" Twilight redirected her attention. "Racist ponies..." He crossed his arms and started pouting.

"Look Twi', we're hiding from her!" Applejack pointed out the window. They all crowded around the window for a short time. Then, all of them except for Twilight gasped and cowered away.

"See? Nothing wrong! Calling someone guilty of something they didn't even-" The rainbow one hits hard, apparently. "Ow! Will you quit that!"

"I dunno, will you quit being some sort of moron? Everyone knows Zecora is pure evil, and here you are saying she isn't!" Prejudice levels were high in the room, and were slightly suffocating Travian.

"Sorry for sayin' the truth..." He looked off to the side, the amount of blind fear causing him to become just the slightest bit queasy. Twilight was unconvinced.

"You know, the only thing I saw her do was glance this way."

Pinkie responded with, "Glance evilly this way." Twilight pushed her away with a hoof.

"And then a bunch of you just freak out for no good reason." Travian put forth his hands.

"Thank you! You are proving my-" He saw the cyan one at the ready to flip out and smack an innocent little Travian, "I'll just shut up now."

"No good reason? You call protectin' yer kin no good reason!?" Applejack had her leg over Apple Bloom. "Why, as soon as my sister ridin' into town, she started shaking in her little horseshoes!" Applejack was now shaking the little one.

"D-i-i-i-d n-o-o-o-t!"

"So Ah swept her up, and brought her here!" She picked Apple Bloom up and put her on her back.

"But I walked her myself!"

"For safe-keepin'!" A little overprotective over her sister, Travian thought.

Apple Bloom got off Applejack and turned her head to face her. "Applejack! I'm not a baby, I can take care of myself." Applejack got all up in her grill.

"Not from that creepy Zecora!" Travian face palmed.

"Oh here we go again..."

Fluttershy spoke up first. "She's mysterious..." Figures she wouldn't say something that mean about her. Still... His menace 'accidentally' smacked his head as she flew over to the group to add something.

"Sinister!" Pinkie Pie went up.

"And spooooky!" Twilight was not having any of it. She took a look outside, getting everyone else to crowd around her. Even Travian joined to see a smidgen of the action. The supposed necromancer lifted off her hood, revealing some sort of weird hairdo. Also, she looked quite a bit like a pony. She had stripes, though. Everyone but Twilight and Travian gasped.

"Will you cut that out?"

"I fail to see how this is scary." Rarity then commented about Zecora.

"Just look at those stripes! So garish!" Twilight turned to her.

"She's a zebra." The whole group responded in surprise.

"A what?!?"

"A zebra!" Travian had a question that interrupted Twilight.

"What exactly is a zebra, again? Sorry if I'm not well informed... But uh... It kinda looks like a pony but with stripes."

"She's born with those stripes, actually. They aren't a fashion choice." Rarity practically died.

"Born where? Ah never seen a pony like that in these parts... 'Cept her!" Applejack was really afraid of Zecora. Irrational fear of stripes, maybe? Twilight continued her little lecture.

"Well she's probably not from here. And she's not a pony. My books say zebras come from a far away land, but I've never seen her in Ponyville. Where does she live?" She's been here for a while... How come she never saw her? Books, maybe? She was a bit of a nerd, as he realized.

"That's just it... She lives in the Everfree Forest!" Applejack was entirely terrified. Then something caught Travian completely off guard. Some sort of thunder came through the house, causing him to fall to the ground in surprise.

"What the f-" He landed on his head, cutting out his word. Twilight knew what was going on.

"Spike!" A voice came from the next room.

"Uh... Sorry..." Applejack continued her tirade.

"The Everfree Forest just ain't natural! The plants grow..." Travian grew a smile. Fluttershy continued for her.

"Animals care for themselves!" Travian was giggling openly. His nemesis went on.

"And the clouds move..." All three combined forces.

"All on their own!" Travian was now laughing up a storm. Rarity practically died again. Twilight was looking in disapproval. Travian's foe upon this world, however, couldn't let his happiness and joy in laughter continue! She swooped down, ready to attack.

"What's so funny? This is serious!" He wiped a tear of utter hilarity off of his face.

"What you just said was completely natural. That's what's so funny!" He shortly stopped laughing after that.

"The Everfree isn't natural at all."

"To magic wielders like you, I'd imagine so. But to me, that is completely normal. If anything, everything here isn't natural!" Applejack retorted.

"Well it just isn't right!" Pinkie jumped in.

"Yeah, and that wicked enchantress Zecora lives there doing her evil... Stuff! She's so evil, I even wrote a song about her!" Travian groaned.

"Here we go." Travian and his cyan opponent said that at the same time.

"She's an evil enchantress, and she does evil dances!

If you look deep in her eyes, then she'll put you in trances!

Then what will she do? She'll mix up an evil brew!

Then she'll gobble you up in a big tasty stew, so watch out!" All over the song, she was bouncing all around. She eventually ended on a table, standing on her hind legs, breathing heavily.

"Wow. Catchy." Twilight commented.

"It's a work in progress." Pinkie said, but then Twilight walked past her.

"This is all just a bunch of gossip and rumors. Now tell me, what exactly have you seen Zecora do?" Travian's one immortal opposite had to come up with something quick.

"Well... Once a month, she comes into Ponyville!" Twilight almost responded, but Travian did instead.

"Kay. Next 'horribad' thing?" Rarity was up to the plate.

"She lurks by the stores!" Travian gasped.

"What dastardly fiend could ever do that!?" Fluttershy talked next.

"And then she digs at the ground..." Travian took all this information and convicted Zecora of instant villain status. She was obviously a threat to society.

"Well from all this info the prosecution was able to gather I hereby decree Zecora..." He paused for dramatic effect. "Not guilty! Court adjourned." They all stared at him. "Fine, I'll get back in my corner before the rainbow person beats me again." She almost did, but stopped when Travian started speaking way differently. "No, please maz'da! I di'nt mean tah do it! Dun take out my fhree good teef! Daze all I haff!" With his pleading done for the day, he sat in his corner. Twilight took over. Apple Bloom came to her side.

"Excuse me, but how is any of this bad? Maybe she comes to town to visit?"

"Yeah! Maybe she's just trying to be neighborly!"

"And maybe she's not lurking near the store. Maybe she's going to them, lurk-free," With Travian's money back, includes a free stalking,", just to do some shopping?"

"Yeah! Everypony likes to shop! You know what I think?" Applejack came to silence her sister.

"Apple Bloom! Hush and let the big ponies talk!" Apple Bloom looked defiant, but turned away.

"I am a big pony..." Travian lurked over to where Apple Bloom was located.

"So... Grown ups, telling you what to do." She looked surprised at how he seemingly got around so fast, but she nodded all the same. "Tell you what... Why don't you go meet this 'Zecora' fellow. I'm sure she's a nice enough lady. You have my full support." He waited for Apple Bloom to leave.

He listened to the ponies argue for several minutes before rushing over in the middle of the group. "Guys! I can't find Apple Bloom! Quick, we gotta find her. Maybe... Maybe Zecora has her!" His plan worked successfully. The ponies started freaking out, but got their stuff together and then promptly in gear. As they left, he saw where Spike was. It was inside the kitchen which he observed for some time. He was planning on going in there and raiding all the edible things. He entered that room. "Hello, little Spike. A mighty greetings to you." He looked around at the place. "What're you doing in here?"

"Um... Eating." He was intrigued now.

"Eating what?" Spike tried to look innocent, but came off as extremely guilty. "Does it involve these things called cupcakes? Cause I seriously want to try one." Signs of relief filled Spike.

"Then why didn't you say so, dude?" He got out some sort of... Weird thing. Travian wasn't sure on how to describe it. It was swirly and blue with specks of color on the first half of it, then the second half was yellowy and kind of resembled bread. He took it into his hands and examined it before eating it whole in one bite.

As it happened, it was extremely sugary. In fact, Travian felt like he could jump up and down and all around. The whole world was so bright and colorful, he didn't even notice the pink rolling pin in the back! The cabinets were so nice to look at sometimes, but  most of the time the window was open. He looked around to see the ceiling turning bright colors. "What is this sorcery, and why does it feel so good! Ah ha ha ha ha!" He started running around like crazy. Sugar and him did not mix well. Too much sugar... It threatened his overall figure, not just his sanity.

Travian, however, didn't have time to think. He had to have some fun. He saw Spike and gave him a hug. "Thanks for the sweets and treats, baby! Woo hoo!" He had to get outside! He had to run around! He saw the window that was open most of the time and launched himself through it somehow. Was this how Pinkie got around? He didn't know nor care! What a beautiful day. The sky was a nice baby blue, and the clouds were all pink and fluffy. The glorious grass was green with wonder. He thought for a moment on where he would go when the sugar rush ended. To sleep, of course! But where did he sleep, he asked himself. 'Of course! Fluttershy's cottage!' He found a path in his mind and prepared to run. "For victory! Wheeeeeee-"

He ran past the corner of Sugarcube Corner. He finally got that name, now! His life was going absolutely perfectly. He swerved around on another corner. Was that the House Corner? He would have to do a house census eventually, but now was not the time! He had to escape to the cottage! There, he could bounce and jump and sing and sleep and be merry all at the same time. That would have been wonderful. He put his hand up and keep saying 'whee' as he ran.

He continued like that until he reached the cottage. Where would he be, though, to sleep? He didn't need the couch, right? He could just go hug that strangeling over there. Off he went on his epic quest that ended in approximately five short seconds. "Hello, my baby, hello, my honey, hello my ragtime gal!" Sanity was for the weak. He didn't need it at the moment.

"What are you-" He hushed her.

"Now is not the time to talk. Now... Is the time for action!" He launched a kiss her way, landing right on her cheek. "Adventure!"  He picked up the strangeling and put her on his back. The world was slowly turning yellow. His speed started slowing as he sped off towards his spot with a confused strangeling straddled onto his back. "Oh boy, did I ever tell you of the time I took sugar? Man, stuff was so cash, and so crazy! It's almost as if..." The yellow was covering his vision. "It's almost as if... It happened... Again..." The world stopped being yellow and started being pitch black as the world flooded with grassy green.

Travian woke up the next morning and rubbed his head. Something was hideously wrong with today. Maybe it had to do with him being completely mellowed out. He rubbed his eyes and looked around with his blurred vision. He was inside the cottage, probably on his designated couch. He rubbed his eyes yet again. He didn't know it was possible to achieve a sugar hangover, but somehow those 'cupcakes' did it. He would have to stockpile those things for certain occasions...

He looked around again, his vision mildly returning. He saw a Fluttershape enter the room. "Hello Fluttershape. How was your day? Oh, and please come a bit closer. I'm kind of out of it right now, and my sight isn't what it's meant to be." The Fluttershape went through a metamorphosis. The result was a Fluttershy. She wasn't talking. "Oh? You aren't moving your mouth. I'm sorry, but I don't speak silent. Either that, or I'm deaf." He smacked his head once to make sure, immediately regretting his decision. "Aw! Self damage! Why!"

Fluttershy held Travian for some reason, probably to make sure he didn't flip out. His head hurt like lightning to the heart. Thankfully, his senses were coming back. He could see enough and feel enough for him to notice the pony legs around him. "You can let go now. I'm fine." In reality, he wasn't. Then again, lying has kept him alive to this day. "So yeah. About your day?" Fluttershy looked away. "Aw, don't worry. I understand. You know, maybe the cyan one was right... Maybe you are ugly." That was enough. Fluttershy gasped rather strangely.

"Longshot!" She sounded like a deep voiced male. She realized her mistake and covered her mouth.

"Well that's sexy." He looked off into the distance somewhere. This mellow state was just as bad as his hyper state. He could have sworn he saw a change from yellow to pink in her cheeks, but maybe he was wrong. He really couldn't tell with that overly interesting wall over there. What was it like to be a wall? He thought about several things like that with overly huge interest.

As he was concentrating, he heard a voice interrupt his wall watching. "Um... Do you really think so?" He stared at the wall behind her. Such an interesting color...

"Well of course I do. You're sexy no matter what..." He looked over to Fluttershy, "Happens to ya." He looked to the ceiling, which was not actually a wall In fact, one could say it was a floor but above all. Now that was the real question... How divine and how high was the ceiling?

"Um... That's... Nice for you to say... Um..."

"Uh huh." This marvelous ceiling. What beauty could match it? None that he could see. Travian got a bright idea and smacked himself in the head again. The pain wasn't much. Instead, he was able to concentrate. He was looking at the ceiling. "Why am I looking at the ceiling?" He turned to look into Fluttershy's eyes. "I mean, I should be looking at you."

"Honestly, I don't know, I mean, you just sorta dozed off like some sort of zombie pony or something. I mean, no offense, of course." Her voice was incredibly masculine.

"Wow. You're voice is just sexy, isn't it?" He got a confused look.

"... You already said that." He did? "Are you... Are you into colts?" Fluttershy rectified her mistake. "I mean, not that there's anything wrong, I mean, I like colts and all, or whatever you call yourself, so I guess, I mean, um... I-" Travian hushed her as she became Pinkie.

"Calm down. I don't like males in that way." She visibly relaxed as she turned from 'heart attack' level of stress to a freezer in chill terms. "I just like some deep voices. They are nice to listen to every now and again." He moved his feet to the ground. "So, what's on the agenda for today?"

"I was planning on visiting Twilight about... Well, this." It was understandable. He got up before he realized he's been going the last few days without his hood. He looked around the room before asking Fluttershy.

"Yo, Flutters, where's my hood?" She placed a hoof on her chin.

"Well... I'm not sure. I went looking for where it should have been, but I couldn't find it." So someone stole it. He had a feeling he knew who, as well... He waved it off.

"Ah well. Not important. Let's go see the witch doctor." She stared at him. "Twilight! That's what I meant to say." That would have to be a thing. He would have to refer to her as the witch doctor from now on. It fit her so perfectly! She was a witch, and used magic to heal some things. They together walked out of the cottage, with a bunny occupying Travian's lone shoulder.

While they were walking, Fluttershy had to check something. He looked over to Mayella. "Ey. Wassup?" She pointed at the sky. "Sorry I've not been taking you along for some rides I took... By the way, where did I fall unconscious? I distinctly remember falling over with you on me. Not sure what happened before, but eh. Probably not important, right?" Mayella looked away for a second, but then looked back at him. "... Something happened. I'm going to find out what. Don't you try to hide it or lie to me because I can see through a lie pretty clearly." That was not true, but she didn't have to know. Fluttershy said she was ready, making him look away from Mayella. He would have to remember that little moment.

They eventually arrived at Twilight's place. Travian opened the door for her and let her in like the true gentleman he wasn't. He made his little seat next to the wall, where he leaned against it. He made sure to appear devious, as that would be a good idea. He took a look at the wall to find that it was actually a book case. In fact... Twilight's place was a library. 'Didn't she mention that?' He saw many, many books. Unfortunately, he was not one for books. In fact, he sort of hated the infernal things. He always cut the pages unintentionally, making him a rather upset lizard person.

He kept leaning against it and observed the room. He found that the library was covered in books. He thought he was a little early to the library as it should have been cleaned. Plus, he sort of rushed Fluttershy over here. He saw Twilight walk down the stairs with Spike and she took one glance at him. She then looked to Fluttershy. "Um... What are you two doing here?" Travian saw that her horn was covered in blue spots and was like some sort of jello. It was kind of funny. He knew right then and there to make things as awkward as possible.

"Twilight, we are looking for some help... You see, Fluttershy and I... We were talking for a little while, and we came over for you to help us with a little something." Twilight's brain was processing what he just said. Fluttershy slowly looked over at him, with her mouth agape. Then Twilight got it.

"Wow. Okay, well... That is... I don't really think I can help with that, I'm kinda- Hey wait, didn't you like *the unlovable one*? What happened to that?" Travian face palmed.

"Look Twilight, it's called a joke. Really, all we need help with is the fact that Fluttermy has some sort of-" He was cut off by a Pinkie suddenly appearing. He swore he closed the door. 'How did she get in?'

"Puhrse!" Her tongue out, with blue spots covered all over it. Travian giggled at the display.

"A purse?" Spike asked, "How could it be a purse?" Twilight looked over to her in complete surprise.

"Pinkie! What happened?" Pinkie was spraying spit everywhere she talked.

"Hut wuhs Zuhhuruh! Suh puht uh puhrse uhn muh!" Spike was covered in spit.

"Hey!" He wiped a lot off. "Say it, don't spray it, Pinkie." A crashing sound was made somewhere in the library. Travian looked where the ponies were looking. He saw his number one nemesis of the world crashing into the window.

"Ha! Drink it in, girl. That's how failure tastes!" Rainbow 'Crash' stuck her tongue out at him. "Jeez, she enjoys the taste of failure. What a weirdo." She smacked into the window again.

"Excuse-" She disappeared. She then reappeared at the entrance of the library. "- me?" She smacking into the wall like the clumsy pegasus she was. "I'm not a-" She slammed through the door, sending her to the back of the library. She hit a ladder and got herself stuck in it. "- weirdo!" She said that while stuck in a ladder with her wings... Upside down. Something was wrong there.

"You're one to talk, Ms. Rainbow Mane slash Stuck in a Ladder With Upside Down Wings." If she couldn't get to him, she obviously couldn't hurt him! It was a win win for all of Travian. Ms. Stuck tried to get to him, but she didn't succeed.

"Well you don't have a curse! No wonder you think I'm the weird one." She took a look at Twilight. "She also has a curse, so your argument doesn't work." It was 'your argument is invalid' but whatever. Same thing, basically. Travian saw a Rarity enter the establishment... Well actually, it was more of a Hairity. Travian came out laughing at her appearance.

"I'm afraid I also have a curse, it appears." Spike was shocked at her appearance, and hugged Twilight's leg. Apple Bloom appeared with a miniature Applejack upon her back.

Applejack spoke out with a very high pitched voice. "Ah hate to say I told you so, Twilight, but Ah told ya so!" Twilight gasped. "It's a curse, I tells ya!" Twilight looked for options to say it wasn't a curse of some kind.

"But..." She looked in Fluttershy's direction. "Fluttershy seems just fine!" Travian sighed.

"Yes, let's just ignore me as well..." He whispered to himself.

"Yes! There doesn't seem to be a thing wrong with her." Hairity then said. Travian spoke for her.

"She does have a 'curse', but she probably doesn't wanna talk about it that much." Twilight looked to Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy? Is this true?" She nodded. "Can you give us an indication as to what's wrong?" She shook her head.

"Good gravy, girl!" A roaming Applejack came up to Fluttershy on a table. "What's wrong with ya?" Fluttershy looked off to the side.

"I don't wanna talk about it..." The whole gang was surprised. So much so that his nemesis fell out of the air due to a ladder being stuck around her. Then Spike bursted out laughing, just as Travian was doing at this point. He walked over to Spike, and crouched next to him.

"Look at all these ponies, and their silly problems!"

"It's hilarious! We've got here..." He pointed to Rarity. Travian responded for him.

"Hairity." He pointed at his nemesis.

"Rainbow Crash." Spike pointed at Pinkie.

"Spitty Pie!" Travian pointed at the tiny Applejack.

"Appletiny." Spike then pointed at Fluttershy.

"Flutterguy!" He pointed at Twilight.

"And... Uh... I got nothing." Nor did Travian. He faced Travian. "Twilight Sparkle. I mean, seriously. I can't even work with that." He held out a fist for Spike to bump.

"I know right?" Spike returned the fist bump and he arose. He then walked over to his corner. Twilight was not pleased, though.

"Ha ha ha, look guys, this is no joke! Now Spike, go search more books so I can find a cure." His enemy was now attempting to get out of the ladder.

When she finally popped her head out of it, and no he didn't know how that worked, she got into the air awkwardly. "I bet we'll find the cure to the curse at Zecora's place!" Twilight rushed over to her.

"It's not a curse!" Travian detected some sort of argument about to sprout. He quickly moved to Apple Bloom in hopes that he could leave the premises.

"Hey, Apple Bloom. Tell me, do you wanna go see Zecora while these ponies argue and bicker?" She looked down for a moment.

"This is all my fault..." Travian stopped her right then and there with a hand to the head.

"No it ain't, kid. We all make mistakes, but we are never at fault. Well, at least according to humans, anyways. Now come on. We gotta right the wrongs. To Zecora's!" Apple Bloom seemed to like his reassurance. He wasn't the best at reassuring but he could do it sufficiently. When he looked for her, he saw that Mayella had actually fallen asleep on an empty book shelf. He decided to leave her and went for the door.

Apple Bloom and Travian both walked out of Twilight's abode and into the outside world. Apple Bloom started following the road that led outside of town. Zecora's home was probably somewhere at the end. Apple Bloom seemed to know where she was going, so Travian followed her without question. That was until she hit the Everfree Forest. "'Ey Apple Bloom, why are we going into this place?" He didn't feel safe without a weapon.

"This IS where Zecora's place is, right?" She had a point. Again, he followed her. The forest was slightly getting to him after a few minutes of being in it. The magic was infesting his mind. The trees looked like they had faces and teeth sometimes. Of course, Apple Bloom was unaffected. Soon enough, she actually stopped and looked at him. "Why're you breathin' so quickly?"

Travian was hyperventilating because of the magic. "I get nervous around... Forests." An utter lie. He lived many years of his life in a forest! Of course, that one wasn't magical. Apple Bloom turned around and continued. Then the strangest thing happened.

"Apple Bloom! You turn 'round right this instant!" Travian saw an Appletiny within Apple Bloom's mane. "You listen to your big sis-" Travian picked her up with two fingers. He then examined her to make sure it wasn't the magic. "Let go! Longshot, Ah swear, if you don't put me down, Ah'll-" He took her to a branch that was over a little drop. He then put her on there.

"No. I came this far, and I shall not be stopped." Travian turned his back to her, and he found Apple Bloom staring at him strangely. "What? Let's go. The main threat is eliminated." Apple Bloom turned around and continued going along the road. Eventually it ended, and where it ended was some sort of tree house. Literally a house made out of a tree. There were masks all over it.

"There it is!" She wanted to step forward, but hesitated. "K-kinda creepy." Travian kept walking forward.

"Oh stop being a baby, will you? It's just a few masks." That got Apple Bloom to move forward as well. She ran a little to catch up with Travian. "Now, ladies first." He opened the door, not wanting to go in for fear of discovering something he didn't want to. If Apple Bloom didn't scream after a few moments, he would probably wait outside. He took a seat, preparing to wait just a short while.

After a short while, Apple Bloom walked back out. "How'd it go?" Apple Bloom jumped before she saw him.

"It went good, I guess. I mean, it turns out she isn't bad and just needs a few ingredients for her brew." That was interesting.

"Alrighty. I'll trust you to the ingredients. I'm gonna go meet her myself." Apple Bloom went away, and when she was out of sight, he opened the door. On the inside was a cauldron, Zecora with no cloak included, and several 'voodoo' stuff. He never really got into voodoo or its magic, but he knew of its style. He walked in, having to duck quite a bit to get in. He brought himself before the supposed necromancer. He crouched down to look her eye to eye.

"I do not know what you may be, but I can assume you are a little friendly. A reptile you appear, but why are you here?" Travian had hoped for this day. He finally had a rhyming partner. She spoke with another strange accent that, if he were not careful, would find attractive.

"Friendly I am, as you guessed so. Why am I here? I truly don't know." Zecora was shocked at his ability to rhyme. He always made little rhymes in his head while he couldn't speak properly. They were fun, and they were creative. "There is a thing that is said from my head. It is that you are a master of the undead. Is it correct, or will my disappointment be erect?" Now Zecora was shocked at his accusation.

"You have me entirely wrong. I have not walked into that song!" So there were necromancers on the planet. It was kind of a given, what with the extensive magic.

"A humble apology from my brain. I guess it is not the most sane..." He looked to the side. Then he looked back. "But enough of that doom! What have you asked of Apple Bloom?" He already knew, but it was fun to say.

"A few ingredients is all I need, for in this cauldron is my next feed." She started mixing. "What you were, you never told me. Or even how you know that pony." Indeed, he did not. He would have to get on that, in rhyme form!

"A man of the marsh. It is why I can be harsh. A deceptive reptile with such a magnificent guile. Now the pony... Well that I thought you could see. I live near her home, so not protecting her to here would tarnish my historical tome." A tome that was growing quite old and rugged.

"So you protect the little filly? Won't other ponies think that as silly?" What could she mean by- Oh. Those ponies would think he was some sort of child molester. That is entirely wrong, and he would never do that.

"Maybe, but their opinions towards me matter not. My goal would be to reverse it and turn them on the spot. I've tried it, and it was quite fun. But my time here has already begun." He felt some sort of presence at the window. He refused to turn around, but he could sense something watching him. "I fear we are being watched. But if we look behind us, we might as well be botched."

Zecora was confused.. "But I thought we were here, with none to see? Could your statement really be?" Travian had to admit she was good. Almost too good.

"Indeed, little one." He heard some yells from outside. "Well, now would be a good time for me to run!" He tried to jog for the door, but felt himself got blasted back as an upside down cyan nightmare destroyed the door. "Ah! Not good! If I continue, this will end in a thud!" Why Travian continued rhyming, he didn't know. It was as though real sentences were just a simple no. It did end in a thud, one that hurt at that.

He observed the chaos occurring. Zecora was shouting at his menace, Travian was on the ground, and a few ponies were appearing in the door way. "What have you done with Apple Bloom?" Twilight questioned. Travian looked up at the ceiling because of the pain. He could only hear distinct voices as he closed his eyes in the bit of pain he had.

"Ponies! What is this you do-" He heard a pot being knocked over by the public enemy number one, interrupting Zecora. "No! You know not of what you do." Travian picked up for her.

"Dagnabbit, rainbow hair! You've gone and spilled her precious brew!"

Twilight, knowing no guilt whatsoever, was not having it. "We're on to you, Zecora. I didn't want to believe that you cursed us but the evidence is overwhelming."

Rarity spoke next. "You made me look ridiculous!"

"You made me sound ridiculous," said a voice that could only be Fluttershy's.

"Yuh muhd muh spuhk ruhduhcuhluhs!" Spitty Pie spat out.

"You ruined my horn! And you knocked Longshot out!" said a rather irate purple unicorn. Zecora was pissed.

"How dare you! You destroy my home, destroy my work, then rudely accuse me of being a jerk?" Those ponies will need to be stuck in a freezer for those heavy burns to have any chance of healing.

The public menace spoke out. "You put this curse on us! Now you're gonna uncurse us!" Is uncurse even a real word? A hoof was set down.

"It is unwise to venture down this road. Your actions will make my anger explode!"

Nobody expected the Twilight Inquisition. "Where is Apple Bloom?!" Then another voice entered the room.

"Zecora! I think I found all the things you asked for." It was Apple Bloom's. "What in Ponyville is going on here?" This wasn't in Ponyville, so nothing in Ponyville was technically going on here.

A concerned little sister spoke out. "Apple Bloom! You're okay!"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Twilight, being the bone head she was, butted in.

"Because Zecora is an evil enchantress who cursed us and she was gonna cook you up into soup!" Travian groaned out, his pain going down steadily.

"I thought you were all herbivores!" Then Zecora and Apple Bloom started laughing.

"Oh Twilight, did those silly fillies get into your head? You know there's no such thing as a curse!" Travian knew that was some serious amount of lies and deceit, but they didn't need to know that...

"Apple Bloom, sweetie, you can't just stand there and tell me this isn't a curse?" Then Apple Bloom, being the utter pimp she was, probably was the one who started walking.

"It isn't a curse." These ponies just can't win, can they?

"If you remember back, the words I spoke were quite exact." Zecora was too good, so Travian took a little nap in the dirt. When he awoke, he opened his eyes and looked around.

"-whenever Zecora comes to town, all the shops are mysteriously closed." Apple Bloom was pointing at Twilight.

"Oh. Well... I think we can help you with that." They started getting ready to walk out, and Zecora got her cloak. He was just waking up, so he couldn't think properly. The magic in the forest did not help. Zecora was just exiting the door when he got up.

"Wait, wait! I do not wish to be late!" He couldn't end this rhyming challenge so soon. To do so would be the opposite of a boon. So they went back to the land of Ponyville. Unfortunately, the denizens were not as civil.

They fled the streets, shouting terror and making noise. Clearly, Zecora and Travian frightened all the little girls and boys. The ponies started heading towards a spa place, which Travian just could not face. He fled away, and retreated to Twilight's place. He needed to have that little rabbit to embrace. He opened the door, and he let his thoughts soar. His thoughts keep rhyming with quite excellent timing.

With those thoughts out of the way, he approached Mayella who was in a fortress of books. "Had a little fun while I was gone, huh?" She got out of the little fortress and transformed into a strangeling.

"Since you left me, I had to replace you with something else that was equally as fun."

"Did it work?" He really hoped it did.

"Not really, no." What dreadful news.

"Well I won't accept any stars that can't have fun! Guess it's gonna be a pretty dark night sky then..." Mayella's brain had to process that little compliment for a few seconds before it registered. "So, I wanna ask you something." He sat next to Mayella on some books. She presented her pretty eyes to him. "What happened while I was on that sugar rush?" Cupcakes were a horrible drug, as he had discovered.

"Um... You, uh... You ran a lot, kind of like you had no idea where anything was. Then you came up to me and... And you put me on your back and carried me off. You then fell over, like you were knocked out or something." He shrugged.

"Seems legitimate." He lifted himself up and headed for the door. "I'm gonna go off to Fluttershy's place for a nap. Also: I avoided a beating from the cyan one because of a ladder. I am officially a ladder fan now." He continued on past the door. It would be a short walk as he was properly satisfied with everything that happened. Racism and prejudice were dealt with and he figured out what he wanted to know. All in all it was a grand day.

Purging Flames

Chapter 20: Purging Flames

With spear in hand, Travian practiced several swings. He swore spears were stabbing weapons, but it worked so well when he swung it. Maybe that had to do with the two spikes on the sides of it's blade, but it was the thought of stabbing that helped make the moment better. He tried several techniques he had seen several champions used. Of course, in the middle of his training he had to feel a presence approach. He swung around in a full circle and then threw himself backwards and stabbed forward, barely missing Mayella's cheek. "Oh hi." He pulled the spear back, keeping it away from a terrified strangeling.

She paused for a little while before speaking. "Y-you could have k-killed me." He really didn't see how he could. He intentionally missed.

"Well hey, next chance you get, you can almost kill me. How bout it?" He looked off to the forest, imagining a target.

"Um... I guess I can... By the way, I need to tell you-" Travian interrupted her.

"You never said hi back."

"Well I can't say hi to your back. I have to say hi to you!" He turned around, rolling his eyes as he did. "Hi. Okay, so... I think I should tell you something..." He turned around again. He saw a flash of a familiar color in the forest. "It's about you. See now, I haven't, well, been telling the truth to you. You see, I-" He started walking off to the familiar color. "Hey! You can't just leave me when I'm having a moment with you!" He turned around while he was walking to see her with some angry gesture.

"Watch me! Tell me later double B." He turned to the forest and started jogging. His spear was firmly in his grasp. He needed live practice. He saw the exact creature to extract his practice from. He was rapidly approaching the forest, ready to fight that blasted manticore. It's mane was red, and was probably stalking something near the edge of the forest as the red of it's mane was low to the ground. The only thing he needed that would make his vengeance complete would be his hood. It was probably in the hands of his nemesis... Or rather, hooves. He would have to threaten her with his mighty spear.

He was nearing the first tree of the forest when he saw what he thought was a manticore. It wasn't such a being, however. It was worse. It was a fiery red being in some clothing exploring the outskirts of the forest. It was very short, but he knew of the dangers of them. Its gold horns never melted from the heat of the being, which was quite high. Maybe he could talk it away. "Well, if it isn't a mere torchling." So far, so good.

The being turned around and revealed itself. It was horribly ugly. "When did you hideous creatures get here!?" Things were going pretty well.

"Before you, and that's all I know. May I request you leave the planet? This is not a refuge at the moment." One of its hands went to the hilt of its tiny blade at its side.

"We are an entire race, running in fear, and here you of all things are, telling us to just leave! You know what? No! We won't run anymore from you, Zashaisr!" They knew who he was. "You lead those dark tides of death before in the days of old just as you hunted us down one by one, but now we will hunt you down." He pulled out his tiny dark blue sword. Obviously, they weren't very advanced. They had magic to a small degree, but that was another thing. Its other hand erupted into flame.

"Wait no!" He just realized what he said. "I'm not him! I just look like the-" The flames in it's hand shot forth. Travian pushed his spear forward, getting rid of the flames. The fiery horned midget backed away in fear. Travian looked behind him to make sure nobody was behind him.

"I see you found the little rascals. Good job, cousin. Unfortunately, I cannot end them here. Too much magic interfering with my ability to kill. I must have you slay them for all genocidal purposes." Travian gaped at the audacity of his brother. Genocide was okay, apparently? "These beings are made of magic and are therefore not real creatures. Kill them all. Leave none alive. I expect some hung fools when I warp back in. Anywho, ta ta." He zapped out of there. He looked back at the sentient being.

"I have to warn the-" Travian stuck his spear directly into its forehead.

"Huh. They are just magic. Guess they aren't real." He picked up the body and tossed it off to the side. The body started burning away into ashes. It left the sword, and that was all. "And I was gonna give him a burial. Oh well." Something felt off about how easy that was, but he didn't mind too much. After all, practice was practice.

He tried to find where their little base of operations was and he swiftly located it. It was just a small distance off to where the little candlelight, as they referred to themselves as, was facing before receiving a face stab to his fake magic head. His feet picked up after themselves, finding himself within the trees, observing the camp. As he observed the camp, he saw something that was overly familiar. He saw in the middle of the dark green forest setting was a single midget in complete cyan armor with a cyan saber in a sheath.

"That... Idiot..." He couldn't get over the complete incompetence of this guy. He saw how small these beings were, and being easily seen is not something they would want. Something stirred in the camp as he observed. Soon enough, that cyan figure was looking around, saber drawn. It was in complete plate mail, which really didn't fit it at all. Travian, knowing his unfair advantage, accepted the challenge. He jumped down on to the camp, landing on a knee.

He rose slowly and looked around. He saw around him all the candlelights readying their flames. They all halted when their leader in bright cyan stepped forth. "You! After all these years of pain and suffering, I will bring you down. My people have always been fleeing, and now I can get rid of the source of the problem! Duel me, one on one! Man to coward!" He took a double take on what he said awkwardly. "I mean... Coward to man! Yeah!" He looked off to a candlelight behind him. "Right?" The one he was asking shrugged. He turned back around and assumed the most ridiculous battle stance Travian had ever seen in all of his life. It was more ridiculous than the pony's.

"Kay. Duel accepted." He twirled his spear around to his front and prepared for the slaughter that was about to occur. He wasn't prepared for the flames that burst his way, but he rolled out of the way anyway. The leader charged forward with some sort of speed surge, giving Travian quite a bit of trouble. He couldn't keep up with the speed. "Oh gods! How?!" The saber kept striking the shaft of his spear.

"My fury fuels me! Now die!" The cyan idiot jumped up, preparing for a strike to end it all. Unfortunately, Travian wasn't a complete and utter moron. He bashed the leader aside with his spear. The leader rolled over multiple times, obviously wounded. He even dented the armor quite a bit. He tried to pick himself up, but Travian moved over to him. "No... How could I fail... Again..."

"Cause you suck. Deal with it, pal. By the way, I'm not the right guy. The guy you're looking for is a guy in full plate armor and he has a massive scar on one of his eyes." The leader stared at him in complete confusion and shock. "Yes, you just got your entire body handed to you by a random passerby." Not entirely true, but true enough.

"That's... That's... Impossible." Travian lifted his spear up.

"Uh huh. I've heard it before more times than you can count." Travian brought the spear down, but stopped when everything suddenly turned into ash. The ash then drifted away, deeper into the forest. "Hey! I was about to commit regicide! Come back here." He started running after the ashes. His brother gave him one order, and that was to remove the candlelights. No amount of magic will stop him. After all... He had to obey his only family member. He had a strange feeling something was off about the whole ash thing, as he didn't remember that part so well.

His run after the ashes made him more weary and more tired as he started getting deeper into the Everfree Forest. The forest's magic started becoming particularly powerful. He could see multiple shadows attacking him as he was running, but he never stopped for them. It was all in his head, after all. The running slowly became jogging as he tried to keep up with the ashes. His legs were growing extensively tired. He couldn't keep chasing the ashes of a memory, or so he thought.

Finally, he fell to his knees. His spear dropped next to him. He looked around, feeling the magic invading his head weaken. It was as if he needed to be sane for some reason in this infernal forest. Noticing the drop in magic, he looked about frantically and picked his spear right back up. He even rose to his feet albeit painfully. He saw dark red eyes open in the darkness. He then saw black claws grasp logs and rocks that were surrounding his position. These beasts had an atmosphere that told him that they were real, and they looked identical to the creatures he saw in the cave where he found his bow. "You want a piece of me, or do you want multiple pieces of you out!? I do both!" He twisted around multiple times, adrenaline filling his veins.

He thought what happened next was impossible. He saw coming out of the darkness Mayella, the strangeling. He lowered his spear, and dropped down to his knees. "You can't be serious. How'd you get here?" It responded in a monotonous voice. Was it real?

"I am not the one you know. I am here to help communicate between us. We wish to know something." Travian raised and eyebrow, but didn't say anything. "Why have you been attacking the forest from afar and why have you murdered two of us, stealing two sacred relics as you did?" These were those guys. Those guys who always care about the forest and protecting secrets.

"I dunno. Boredom, ownership, fun?" The creatures appeared angered. It was as if his answer had not pleased them.

"Those are poor excuses. You are at our mercy, and you are dangerously close to angering us."

"Seriously. The bow was mine before, the quiver was mine, I was bored, and I went out here originally to practice for fun. What other excuse can I have?" The creatures got closer, and they seemed to be examining him. Possibly even testing him.

"Your heart doesn't say so. Wait... You... Your heart doesn't say anything. How is that possible?" Travian shrugged. "You are an unstable being in this forest, and you are obviously not of this plane of existence. You need to be cleansed from this world." They started moving in closer, but Travian held up his hands. He had to get away from this situation and back to the whole 'we'll warn you but not kill you' thing they had going.

"Wait! Guys! Look, I just wanted to kill something then get out." They all looked at each other for several moments.

"So... You are confirming that you are a heartless being." The eye it had slowly widened as he got closer, eventually stopping him. "Yet... We detected this would be an easy being for you to speak to." Travian was puzzled and looked back to the Mayella. So the candlelights were illusions. Did that mean his brother was an illusion too?

"She was? Strange. You guys are strange. Telepathy and stuff like that, bringing fake stuff out on me. Playing with my mind and apparently feelings and all that. Wait, that actually might be rude and strange." They looked at each other, as if having silent conversations. They then disappeared for a couple of seconds. Travian then saw the fake Mayella move closer to him. "So. Gonna speak, or you gonna-" A vision of his brother hefting his large blade over his head appeared beside the Mayella, making her look as if she were in fear.

Travian, his legs still exhausted, endured an excruciating feel as he leaped forth with his spear ready to block the blade. "No!" he shouted as he launched himself, spear first. The blade came down, but was deflected off the shaft of his spear. The vision of his brother stared at him, and Travian couldn't look back. He had just saved a being from his wrath. It was a fake Mayella, of all things! The vision seeped down into the ground. The creatures returned, looking about.

Travian was down on the ground, properly feeling the pain affecting him. Doing that was not smart. "You defended this being against your brother, or so we can only assume, one who you always obey and trust as right. We thought you as heartless, but now we don't know what you are." Travian started laughing.

"It's a long shot to assume I'm exactly what you think I am." Oh what fun it was to make that joke. It would have been better, had he not been on the ground due to his legs being over exerted.

"You passed our test. You may yet live. We expect you not to attack the forest any further." One of the beasts fell down to the little arena he was in, as he noticed. It came and picked him up. "We shall take you to the entrance of the forest." The fake Mayella seeped back into the ground. The beast then started running through the forest. It was a fast ride, one of which Travian did not enjoy. Thankfully, it was only his pride, his feelings, and his legs that hurt. He wouldn't need any scheduled visits to the doctor. Only a quick visit to a certain strangeling could repair his pride.

When he was supposed to be dropped off at the entrance of the forest, he was actually thrown out of it. He still had his spear, which was good. His legs at this point were feeling slightly better, so he picked himself up and walked back to the cottage. He reached it in an hour or so, but he felt slightly better from walking so slowly. He took a look around and saw Mayella chilling out by the river. She was looking rather lonely and or solemn, so Travian took his rightful position by her side. She hadn't noticed him yet, so he just chilled there with her.

After a while, she sighed and slumped over, as if wanted to sleep next to the river. She accidentally fell into Travian's lap, causing her to be quite surprised. She calmed herself when it was only him."When did you get here?" she asked, almost sleepily.

"I dunno. All I know is that you didn't seem very happy, so I came by and sat over here. Next thing I know, this strangeling just falls on my lap, and asked me 'when did you get here?'. Crazy, I tell you." She was looking a little bit happier than she was, at least. Or at least that was until she decided it was time for something. He knew that look well as he had seen it and had used it several times.

"Look... Longshot... Before you left, I-I was going to tell you... About what happened during your sugar rush... But now, I decided I wanted to tell you a little bit more..." Travian yawned. It was getting quite late.

"Hey, can we finish this conversation another time? It's my nap time, and I don't want to be late! If I miss one schedule then the whole thing is defunct. I just can't deal with that right now." While he wasn't really interested in what she had to say, he could have stayed around to hear it. It was only a few seconds, right?

He didn't have a choice as Mayella tried to keep him there. "No! I have to tell you." She had her legs trying to hold down Travian. That was overly cute, both sarcastically and literally. She gulped awkwardly and continued. "You see, I-I... I had this dream..." she audibly gulped yet again, as though she feared something, "It involved me being there, and then suddenly I see this really big robot looking thing with a really big stick in its hands that I later discovered was a weapon."

"Sounds like a scary dream. Let me guess: It touched you in places you didn't like and you used the weapon against it before it could violate you further?" Travian received a slap for interrupting. It wasn't that hard, though.

"I then discovered it was you." He swore he had seen this before. He just couldn't recall what. "Then I was... I was grabbed from behind by another weird robot. This one was less bulky than you, but it was still like a robot." This was becoming more and more similar as he recalled these details. "I heard this voice that was full of static saying I was some abomination-" He stopped her right then and there. He wouldn't tolerate her saying that she was an abomination!

"You aren't an abomination. Everything's an abomination compared to your utter beauty." Oh yes, how he loved to compliment the ladies. It made him feel nice.

"That's... Actually, I'm not sure how to take that." A common trait of women. "Anyways, so you were getting paid something and saving me got rid of that money. You hesitated before trying to save me... As if you actually wanted that money over a life." Travian was a gold digger, what could he say? "But then... You tried to save my life through words. That mean voice wouldn't have any of it though and... The thing behind me pulled out a sharp thing. You kept trying, but you hesitated even more. Then..." She looked him in the eyes. Wait... Did she have the same dream? "Y-you did something completely unexpected. You raised your weapon and fired some sort of stick into the thing's head. Without any mercy." He did that often enough. "You tried to help me get out of my shock, but t-then... I saw what I could only think of as your brother. He was frightening... He was so much taller than you... He had this gigantic thing in his hand, and his footsteps were extremely heavy on the ground. It felt like an earthquake every time he moved!" If only she wasn't in shock when he showed up. "Y-you tried to stop him. You even placed a hand on him, trying to save me. You were smacked away, leaving me all alone and defenseless.

"But then he picked me up. He threw me over to where you were." Oh. This was that dream. Oh no. "And you told me I could move... A-and that you were sorry for all the pain you caused and all the pain he caused. You told me to run... But I didn't. I couldn't! I knew I just couldn't leave you there." Travian didn't even notice she wasn't holding him down anymore. He was taking time out of nap time to listen to this. "So then I had over a hundred thoughts going through my head like lightning, and I just couldn't think! I acted with the moment, and I-I did something that were kind of unspeakable, well at least for you and I really just wanted to get it off my shoulders and-"

"What did you do, again?" Now he was confused. He was also kind of scared for the reaction.

"I did something like this." She said that really quickly, as if on a drug or on an anxiety attack, and then dragged him into a kiss. Her fangs weren't all that hard compared to teeth he felt before, and her skin actually looked like a carapace. She was like an insect with a very nice feel. At least around the mouth region, that was. She then pulled away. "So I did that and-" She stopped, realizing what she did. She turned slowly towards him. "I just... Did that..."

"Yep." He really didn't see the big deal.

"And... You're mad, aren't you? Look, if you want me to leave, I can, just don't-" Travian couldn't stand for this. She was assuming he was some sort of monster. He was only that on the occasional day in town! His 'rawr' is feared by many, especially when said in quick succession three times.

"Please. Calm down. I ain't mad. You were demonstrating something. Didn't mean a thing to me."

"Oh... Okay that's um... I feel awkward, now." She sat down. She looked almost defeated.

"Will a hug help?" She paused for several seconds before she nodded.

Infestations

Chapter 21: Infestations

The morning was as normal. The sun was rising, animals were attempting to awaken an alien, and the strangeling was off doing her things. Travian was not waking up this early though because he just couldn't deal with being up and about when the light just shows up. It goes against his fake codes that he just made up called the 'morning laws'. He was thoroughly justified and stayed asleep. His slumber continued until a fluttery shy pony came his way. "Do you know anything about picking flowers?" And she was waking him up for this.

He groggily arose, a clear expression of hatred to everything visible upon his face. "No. I have never nor will I ever pick flowers. That is a waste of my time." He turned to Flutternot. "But you know what? I ain't got nothing else to do! So why not learn how to..." He said the last sentence rather sarcastically.

"Oh that's great- Wait didn't you say you weren't going to pick them ever?"

"I said I was gonna learn, not actually do. Don't you know anything about schools and learning?" It was true. Most of the things he went into the education system for was never used in his entire life. "Anyways... What do you need these flowers for?" She was much more eager to answer that question.

"Oh, well I wanted to give the princess some flowers as a gift just so she knows that I appreciate her..." Travian didn't appreciate her. She was probably the one who orchestrated those animals to wake him up, and then instructed Fluttersit to wake him up! What an evil mastermind, mimicking the dastardly nature of his brother. He would have to say something berating about her at some point, and then apologize profusely, stating it was an accidental sneeze! His revenge plan was perfect.

"That's great. That's absolutely fantastic. When do we get to the picking?" He was seriously not in the mood for this. He didn't even get up yet, and here he was, asked to do menial labor for a cruel tyrant of the deepest and largest amount of pure unflinching darkness and evil.

"Right now, I mean, if you don't mind, that is..." It was time for a question that was dangerous to ask.

"Hey Fluttersue, how can you be so lovable and adorable sometimes?" She managed to release a blush. "Is it like a talent of yours?" It was early, and he wasn't really thinking or listening to maximum efficiency.

"I... I guess so..." He flopped himself forward, falling on his face. "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" He wasn't fragile! He's only been nursed back to health by her like... Three times! He wasn't some sort of weakling.

"I'm not made of glass. I don't break because of this." He lifted himself up, although it was slow and clumsy due to his weariness. Seriously, he shouldn't even be up. How Mayella was up, he would never know. Maybe strangelings don't need sleep as much, or something along those lines.

She led him out to some sort of field and started to show him all the different varieties of flowers and which ones would be suitable for the tyrannical and evil morning princess of DOOOOM! She had some animals helping too. When she noticed him not paying too much attention, she tried to get it, as timid as she was. "Um... Are you listening to me, Longshot?" He was now.

"Huh. Uh, yeah. Totally. Flowers and stuff." He saw a lavender colored flower. "Look! A lavender! Those smell nice." He was completely guessing and or lying.

"Oh... So you were paying attention! That's good to know. But you know, it'd help if you started to pick some of these... I mean, if it isn't that big of an issue." Fluttershy didn't remember that he had claws. Claws and flower stems don't mix in a blender or in general.

"Well yeah, I'd love too, but I have these." He held up his hand. "Also, if I do that, I have to pay attention to flowers, and not your beautiful..." He received a look from Fluttershy for pausing there. Of course, he was trying to find something to make it complete. His eyes moved all over her, and he found something prominent and very noticeable from behind her. "Legs. They are very tasty looking..." Wait did he really say that? It was way too early! He didn't even have breakfast.

Fluttershy was now turned toward him with a terrified look. "What?!" While he didn't want to deny that fact as they did look nice and quite delectable, he had to for her sake.

"I'm sorry! I'm not fully awake... And hungry." With her reassured, she moved along. He noticed that she tried not to get too close to him because she had not been that meticulous about before the whole leg comment. She also tried to keep her front facing him more often, presumably to check on him.

After a while, one of her search animals arrived, some sort of furry brown thing with a large bushy tail, and it had some sort of white puffy flower. It grabbed her tail and shook it, causing her to drop down and look at it. "Thank you, little squirrel, but remember: these flowers are for Princess Celestia," remarkably known as the evil morning princess, "Only the prettiest ones will do." A gust of wind magically appeared out of nowhere and blew the entire flower apart, causing it to droop down.

Travian burst out laughing because of the moment, and he felt a little bit of him saying he was evil. It was okay because it was random, and random things are meant to be funny. Fluttershy gave him the look women give to men, causing him to stop, while the squirrel ran away to probably get another flower. Fluttershy decided to start a little talk about this, which was a poor move on her part. "You know, it really isn't kind to just laugh at such things. Somepony might feel hurt because of it." The difficulty card was rolled out. He decided to be very difficult. He couldn't let a timid pony like Fluttershy win an argument! Then she would start making more and more arguments, and eventually will tell him how to dress. He just couldn't stand for that.

"Good thing that wasn't a pony." Strike number one.

"But it was still rude."

"But it was funny." Strike number two. Fluttershy turned around. She looked upset at him, for some reason.

"Well maybe you offended me because you would laugh at a little squirrel for trying!" This wasn't like her at all. "Oh, I'm sorry for yelling at you... It's just sometimes you are so hard to talk to... I mean, um-" There it was. He just couldn't let her get on one of her tangents of apologies, so he interrupted tactically.

"Look, Fluttersoul, it's alright. I understand I was being rude. I understand you may have been offended, and I most certainly understand I can be difficult." Wait... He was letting her win! He could never let that happen. "But that doesn't change the fact I have a different sense of humor than you." Strike three, and so Fluttershy was outta there! She silenced herself for the rest of the walk to some place.

Travian followed her to a little basket full of apples. She forgot about the whole turning around thing for him. He was proven innocent, apparently. He also woke up quite a bit. What really woke him up was when they were nearing the basket and a noise popped out from under a rock. Fluttershy, naturally, freaked out and hid behind the basket. Her little flower container flew up in to the air with enough time for him to catch it. "Bah. You shouldn't freak out like tha-" He looked at the rock.

A pair of insect legs appeared, and next were insect wings. Then a circular body with overly huge eyes appeared. His first thought was to kill with extreme prejudice. Of course, Fluttershy jumped to it's side. "Hello little guy! I've never seen anything like you before." It flew around her and went for an apple on the ground. It then sniffed it quite a bit. No, seriously. The bug was sniffing the apple. "Oh, are you hungry?" She smashed the apple to bits, surprising Travian with her strength. Even he couldn't do that with his front leg- arms! She pushed the mush forward. "Here you go!" It didn't go for the apple, signalling a flag in Travian's mind.

It went for the entire basket of apples. That was two flags. He didn't know how it did it, but it ate the entire basket of apples in a matter of seconds. That was his flag that told him it was a parasitic organism that was going to have to die. It flew over to Fluttershy. "I guess you were hungry!" It started caressing her mane, but that was Travian's future hobby, maybe, so he couldn't let that happen.

"Eh little guy. Come 'ere." He held out his hand. It flew over to his hand and perched upon it. "Fluttershy, I'm gonna go have a walk with this little bugger. He's real..." Disgusting. "Cute." He started walking away with it.

"Oh I know! He was just the cutest thing ever..." Easy to please. Travian kept walking with it. He eventually was out of Fluttershy's sight. It was time.

"So tell me little guy. What's so special about you?" It did nothing. In fact, it looked like it fell asleep. "Ain't that just the cutest and most convenient thing." He grabbed the parasite and placed it gently on the ground. "Shame, huh? The world may never know of the harm you would cause it. Unlike me. The strong parasites survive, while the weak fall." He lifted up his foot.

He waited a bit before curb stomping the little guy. He let loose a maniacal laugh, but no one was around. It would have been really cinematic, and it was the reason why he said that whole parasite thing, but eh. He would have to go with it. He lifted his foot and started scraping it on the ground. "Disgusting. I hate this part of bug squashing."

He arrived at the cottage and he saw a rather daft situation. There was a strangeling in front of a Fluttershy, and nothing was happening. Mayella's little horn was glowing. He walked up to the two. "So... What would two sexy ladies be doing at a time like this? Not doing anything inappropriate, I hope. Otherwise, I would have to punish the naughty females..." Mayella was trying so hard not to respond, but he could see a faint blush on her face. "Lemme guess. She came out and was so quiet she was just in your face so you froze her." She nodded, focusing on the magic. "Tell you what. Turn into a rabbit on three, and I'll play the situation off like something was going on with her eyes." Travian then counted to three.

When he said three, Mayella turned into a bunny, and Travian put on a confused expression. Fluttershy freaked for a couple of seconds before Travian gently placed a hand on her back. "Hey, you alright there?" She gasped and jumped, as expected, and then she apologized.

"Yes, I think I'm okay... I just thought-"

"What? That Mayella here was some big scary monster?" Fluttershy hesitated before nodding. "You wouldn't have to worry. You know I'd protect you just as you have protected me." She was confused.

"How did I do that? That is, if you don't mind me asking..." How could she not see how she protected him?

"You gave me a place to stay. A place that I enjoy. That protected me from unhappiness, just as you do that normally with your overly adorable noises and actions." Mayella did not seem to like that little compliment. Fluttershy, on the other hand, was flustered.

"Oh... Well... Thank you," she responded. Now was time for the moment he loved to bring up.

"No," he said and paused. He waited until Fluttershy started to look slightly worried. "Thank you."

Travian decided a little walk was what he needed one day. With his escapade with the two women of the home, he had to take a breather and admire the finer things of life. At least, admire them until he realized his life is overly long and then stop admiring it. Then he would start resenting it, and hoping it to end. Oh how his thoughts escalate at quite quick speeds. His walk was stopped when he stopped in a peculiar place.

He was staring at a tree for a very long time. He took a step towards it, and the impossible happened. A pink pony appeared from the side of the trunk, her hair and body unaffected by the gravitational pull of the planet. She was suspended there with some sort of look on her face. Instead of where a smile should have been with large blue eyes, he instead got a suspicious face. She then started speaking in a low voice. "I know what you did."

He could try to pull her off track to replace his confusion, or he could ask her what he did. He preferred the off track option, and prepared to off road. "Look, okay. Fluttershy has nice legs and a cute face. I just couldn't help myself, alright!"

"Oh no, not that. I already know about that. But you stopped something... And I could feel it. Whatever it was, it was supposed to happen..." Her face was all up in Travian's grill. It found itself with a hand upon it, pushing it back.

"Pinkie. Stahp. You're too silly to be serious." She kept her serious face and shrunk back into the trunk, never to be seen there again. She gets around a lot. He would have to ask her how, though he dreaded the answer.

By Right

Chapter 22: By Right

A few weeks after Travian's stomping of a parasite, he was awoken by a familiar feel. He arose with glee, welcoming the feel entirely. While not as cold as he remembered, it would do him fine. "Snow! I love snow! It's the greatest thing since heat." He smirked at his upcoming pun. "It's so cool." He should have been shot directly in the face for that, but he could get away with it today.

There was a strangeling that awoke as he shouted that. Beforehand, she was probably cuddling him for warmth. "What is this... Stuff?" She tried experimenting with the snow. It was adorable. "It's so... cold."

"It's called snow. Fun stuff, I tell ya. You see, I spent lots of my life in this stuff." How great it was to have it back. It felt natural to him. "I wish it won't go away too fast." It was very fun to play with.

"I wish it does..."

Travian detected traitorism at that instant. "You traitor! How dare you say that?!"

"Well it's too cold for me!" She... unfortunately had a point. Flutterbatch opened the door to her cottage, presumably because of the argument that was clearly not over. There was now an angry bunny on him.

"What are you yelling about out here- oh my gosh, snow!" Maybe someone appreciates the snow.

"I know right? Great stuff!" He picked himself up with a plan. His plan was to get the bunny off of him. "Wheeee!" He flung himself at the ground, landing on the ground, face first. The bunny was off him and instead in the snow. Fluttercrab rushed to his aid, as though he needed some.

"Oh no! What are you doing? You'll get a nasty cold, mister." She tried pulling him away from his snow.

"No, mommy! I wanna play in the snow!" Then the strangest thing happened. Fluttershy dropped him into the snow. Normally, Travian was supposed to give up this quickly. Was it possible she was getting tired of him? Maybe he would-

"Oh my gosh! This poor little bunny is freezing over here... Longshot, can you please get up and help me make sure she doesn't get a cold." Oh no! Travian would have to run a census on everything with a cold. He didn't want to get up, though. Even if it was for Mayella.

"But I just got reunited with an old friend." Flutterein was already away. Eventually, he pulled himself away from his friend. Then he started prancing around in the stuff, having fun the entire time. It was great having snow around. He recalled during his time here that the pegasus class ponies can apparently manipulate weather, though he hasn't seen Fluttershy do anything like that. The unnamed one spoke of it as though it were a job she did, though. He decided to would be beneficial to use this to his advantage. Knowing her, she would be around, spying on him. 'She needs to get out of that habit.'

His plan of having fun was ruined. Nobody expects the Pegasus Inquisition, not even Travian. "What are you doing? You know you're gonna get sick, right?"

"I don't care!" He stopped himself from jumping again, and turned to the cyan flyer. "Wait. Don't you control the weather or something?" She nodded suspiciously. He ran over and hugged her. "I luff chu!" He then pulled away to go jump into the snow more. It was really fun, after all. Cold, but that's how he liked it.

"Um... I gotta go talk to my laundry!" She bolted away. Sometimes she was cute, and he had to admit it when she was... She was mostly terrible and completely stupid and moronic and could never be liked by anyone because of how brash and bold she was. Obviously. Having irrational hatreds and fears really helped Travian go to sleep, so he had to make sure they were well stocked. After all, he devoted quite a bit of time to nap time.

With the light blue devil away from him, he could put his time into making sure Mayella was actually okay. She was shivering in the snow, with a little bit covering her. That was unhealthy, or so he thought as snow dripped off of him. He went over to her in a moment of clarity and picked her up. He then brushed all the snow off and added a tactical ear scratch into the mix. It blended well, creating a happy Mayella bunny. An adorable sight only to be beheld by him.

Or so he thought as Fluttershy rushed out with some bags attached to her sides. She stopped in the air when she saw him pleasing the little bunny in only the best of ways. "Yes Flutternigh, I have this under control. You can go off now."

She was rather confused at his display. "I didn't know you knew so much about animals..." He really didn't. He didn't know people ran censuses on them! Seriously, who would ever do a bunny census? These ponies were crazy and unbearable sometimes. Also, he didn't know a thing about pleasing animals. He could only please people, and he sure did that to Mayella.

"Meh." It was his best answer. It was neither a yes or a no. It was a simple ambivalent answer. He couldn't just disappoint Fluttershy... Nor could he tell the truth. Telling the truth is against the rules for Travian. Fluttershy then promptly got all up in his business about it. Well actually, it was more like a nervous fly-by. Basically the same thing since he knew Fluttershy pretty well.

"Oh, um, if it's not too much to ask..."

"What do you want from me?" He didn't want to sound mean, but he had to speed this up.

"Well, you see... There's supposed to be a badger census-" He stopped her right there. He will not help with another census. In fact, he wanted a legitimate census, not these animal censuses!

"No." Fluttershy looked disheartened at his answer. While it was a death trap in the long run, he had to make her more sad. For science. "Censuses on animals are completely stupid. Even animals I never heard of."

This woman thought she owned him, apparently, because she kept trying. "But-"

"Unless I'm staring at yours, there will be none. Now excuse me, I am off to make love to this bunny." He said that very quickly, probably faster than she could comprehend. It was worth saying though, as it provided him with an excuse. Mayella looked up at him with her mouth agape. "What? I needed a reason to escape! You know me at this point." No, she really didn't but that didn't stop him. He kept running through the snow, embracing the cold.

At least he was, until a strangeling appeared in his arms with a rather upset expression. "You know, you might not mind this stuff, but I do! Why don't we go inside?"

"Well... If you put it like that..." Why was she still in his arms? "Why are you still in my arms? And can't you walk yourself inside?" That made her see some sense. She got straight out of his arms and then she turned into a bunny. She then tried to retreat to the cottage, but failed due to her getting stuck in the snow. "Fine! I'll go with you." He walked over to pick her up. When he did, he slung her over his shoulder. "But I'm leaving you home, missy. You're getting in to too much trouble!"

With the strangeling taken care of, it was now his job to go and visit Ponyville in the snow time. It was probably a pretty sight and would probably give him horrific memories. It would be so worth it. As to why it was his job, he was getting paid for it. Paid in the greatest of things... Memories. Taking trips down memory lane was among the most hard things to do for Travian, and now he could cross that off his list of things to do before he died. The list was getting quite small, however...

With that thought in mind, he continued on to Ponyville. When he got into the view of it, he saw something utterly beautiful for him. He couldn't resist saying wow, which was an accomplishment. He had a dysfunctional set of waterworks in his head, so he couldn't actually cry at this sight, despite all of his protests against this. He continued into the town, hoping to find the blue menace to question where his hood was. She obviously stole it.

When he entered the town, he received all the looks. All the women and all the men were keeping their eyes on him as he entered the club. He was, after all, the most sexy thing ever. 'Oh wait, a few are running.' The streets started becoming abandoned wherever he went. He found the book tree of the town and started towards the door because of something telling him what he wanted was in there. He learned to follow his instincts on things like this.

He opened the door near silently and he heard what was going on inside the library. "- Rainbow, I'm telling you that your wings can only handle so much! Nopony can possibly go that fast."

"Well obviously, you have never seen me fly!" Travian thrust the door open. It was time. The death of this mare was to come if she couldn't give him back what he wanted.

"WHERE IS IT!?" His voice was probably heard by all their neighbors, but he could care less. The unmentionable one was terrified by the power of his voice. Twilight was also scared out of her wits. "Oh wait, hold on," he said as he turned around and slammed the door shut. When he turned around he continued shouting while pointing at the blue one. "WHERE IS MY HOOD, YOU THIEF?!"

The thief he called out was now against the wall. "I-I-I don-don't know!" Travian took a few steps towards her, rather upset. He didn't have any weapons, but his claws were probably sharp enough to at least hurt her. They were probably blunted, though... "Please don't hurt me!" He continued on his path.

Or that was until a faint purple glow surrounded him. It was stopping him minorly, making him have to stomp down in order to step. "I can't stop him, Rainbow! He's... Too... Strong!" Travian then considered a tactic. He stopped walking and turned to Twilight.

"Wait wait wait hold on here... You think I," he pointed to himself, "am going to hurt that?" he asked as he pointed to the blue thief. "What are you, stupid? I can't just go around hurting people I trust and people I consider friendly towards me. That would be bad and give me a horrid reputation. I have no reason to hurt her." He was going to have a few capitalized words with her.

"Oh... Well... I guess that makes sense." The purple glow disappeared. Travian proceeded over to the flying pony.

"NOW. WHERE. IS. IT."

"I told you I don't know!" Then he heard a different voice behind him.

"Oh I have it! Silly Shotty, you should have asked me!" He turned his head around to find Pinkie Pie appearing from behind a book case. She just called him shotty and appeared from nowhere. This was... Strange.

"Can I have it?" She reached in a book case and out came a brown hood he was familiar with. She passed it over to him. Why she would store it in a book case and how her hoof was small enough to reach inside a filled bookcase and how she even grasped things he would never want to know. "Tanks." He placed the hood where it should have been; on his head. It was good to have that little episode done. He walked out of the library and back into the forbidding cold outside. He attracted quite an audience to the library, which he scared away just by walking outside.

Cleansing A World

Chapter 23: Cleansing A World

Travian refused to do any sort of archery practice for the next few weeks in his time there. Instead, he practiced with his spear. He considered himself less than adequate, which would serve him just great. Mayella asked once if she could try, to which Travian responded with a negative of immeasurable quantity. He gave a long winded explanation which was confusing and more than ninety percent fake. It was enough for her to look sad enough for him to hug her and say "Maybe when you're older." He loved saying that.

That was what he was up to for a few weeks. Or so he thought. It was actually three months. Time passed much quicker for him apparently. He woke up one morning to some form of song. He noted it was much to early for this. He also noted how he couldn't swear for some odd reason. Whenever he tried, it always ended in pain. For example, he tried before he realized it.

"It's way too early for this sh-" his sentence was cut off by a carrot to the face. He looked over to see Angel with a sheepish grin. He ran over to the carrot and picked it up and walked away. "I hate that f-" Next an acorn smacked his face. A squirrel did the same thing. "You know what? F-" To finish things off, a bout of snow fell off the cottage and onto his head, silencing him. Finally, he roared in rage. He couldn't get what he wanted today.

He decided it was time to get up. Through the snow he trudged, endearing the large amounts of- There was remarkably less snow. Suddenly, something smacked him the back of the head. It wasn't physical, but he had to sing out some words to make it go away. He just couldn't explain why.

"Something's awfully wrong, something of which I can't explain!

The snow on the ground is running thin, but I can't explain in which way.

Maybe these ponies are messing with nature they do not know...

For their shame and everything else, their failure will surely show!" A few more words entered his mind so rudely. He wasn't even sure why he was still singing.

"Winter Wrap Up, Winter Wrap Up!

This snow was oh so dear...

Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up!

Dunno why I'm still singin' here,

Dunno why I'm still singin' here!" He almost slapped himself to stop. Thankfully, the music ended. It was horrifying. He never wanted to sing ever again after that. He already never wanted to sing again due to him not liking his singing voice that much. Of course, in came Mayella to ruin everything.

"You have a nice singing voice..."

"Well your voice has always been getting nicer." It was true. Her voice was rather monotonous when he first met her, but it had been constantly getting sweeter to listen to.

"That's because us changelings get a better voice the more love we get." She looked as though he was supposed to get something. He didn't see anything to get. It was a fact.

"That's interesting. Good thing you're a strangeling." He started giggling at this, while Mayella looked upset for a second, but then laughed a little bit along with him. It was fun teasing her, admittedly. T'would be a shame if something were to stop that. He observed his surroundings and spotted something unfamiliar. A brown pony with an hourglass on him was towing around a wagon, and there was the menace there with him. A few more followed suit. He realized what they were doing...

"Oi! You don't go around on my land, placing 'No Fun Allowed' signs!" He was rushing forward, and it scared all the ponies away. All except for the brown one, who was struggling to unlatch his wagon.

"Blasted hooves... I don't even know how to use these things! Uh... Guys! Help!" His head was facing the other way, trying to call for help. It was pitiful, so Travian took pity. He walked forward at a slower pace.

"Any particular reason you all are getting rid of the snow?" The brown pony was now freaking out, frantically trying to use his hooves before falling down in defeat, almost like a cartoon. Strange, but not the strangest thing he had ever seen. "Okay, so-"

"Just please don't eat me... I've already been through that, and it is NOT fun. If only Derpy were here..." Travian honestly thought of eating him at that moment, but shoved it aside. Stupid fish, not satisfying his cravings enough.

"I ain't gonna eat you. I'm only gonna scare you till your wits end and then unlatch you and watch you run away screaming." The pony sighed, as though he were relieved. He got back up to his feet.

"Well good thing you aren't that bad. And good thing I've seen worse than you, otherwise I would be scared." What.

"Wait wait wait wait. Hold up. You've seen worse." He nodded. "Just who do you think you are?"

"Well um... I go by lots of names! Um..."

"Gimme one of your word names, like Dayshine Rainfall, or something." What was up with pony names? It was crazy what they could come up with. He placed a hoof to his chin.

"Um... You can call me... Eh... Doctor... Hooves! Yes. Doctor Hooves," he replied as he made some form of grin. To Travian, that was among the WORST names he had heard. Doctor? Do ponies even have doctors, or do they have veterinarians? And putting hooves in there as all?

"Right. That's a convincing name." Travian took a knee as he said that and prepared to unlatch 'Doctor Hooves'. He then found a great pun. "Since I don't know who you are, I'm gonna call you Doctor... WHOoves! Get it?"

"Like, who in front of 'ooves'?" Travian nodded. "Ah, that's brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?" Travian finally got the Doctor free.

"It's curss I'm smurt en yur nurt." He stood over the pony. "Now go on off to your friends or something."

"It was nice getting a name from you! I look forward to talking to you... What was your name again?"

"Longshot." Doctor Whooves looked pale for one moment, but got back to his normal self in seconds. Somebody might actually know who he was, and he WASN'T being super paranoid this time... This would prove most enjoyable to test in the future.

The ponies came back and purged the land of the snow. Travian made himself relatively unseen. He cried a little as his one true love was taken away so quickly. It would be back next year, right? Well... If he were here this long. His brother would probably rain on his parade right before the snow came back. That's what he normally does, at least. Sometimes, he really disliked his brother. He never hated him because he was always a card, nobody can hate on a card when there are only fifty two of them! Except for the fact that he was a joker, but that was besides the point.

After his crying which totally didn't last for a few minutes, he slumped down on the cottage. He really made it out here. He had a bow that could destroy magic, an endless quiver, a broom spear, and a good, hardened, somewhat morally-questionable soul. All was well. It was until he received an unexpected guest. "Ooh look! A white horsey! You see that sometimes, I think. At least I saw it sometimes..."

"I think you've been living here long enough to be considered one of my subjects." Travian got right up. He stood at his highest, which was only a head taller than her horn, and let his eyes feast upon hers. That all changed when a slap covered her face.

"No. I follow no royalty." He had to call bull- His thoughts were interrupted as he was slapped across the face with magic. He felt the area of pain before looking back. "I accept your challenge." He brought his hand back, ready to pimp slap this princess's face.

It was held with magic. "While I found that rather rude, I am not here to start fights. I would just like to call you an Equestrian citizen." That was a boring title.

"Why not Equestrian denizen?"

"Because I am giving you the same rights as I would give a pony right now." He could so get a job now. That's what he needed... A job. Something to do with his time. He looked at her and-

"Your hair is alive." He almost wanted to pet it. He did get to pet it.

"I... I'm sorry, but I'm at a loss for words. For thousands of years, I have been ruling, and not once have I encountered anything like this. Excuse me if I take a moment to think of something." He gave her a moment by noticing the pattern of her hair. How did it do that? Did she use some sort of special-magic-awesome hair gel or something? "So... Um. Okay, well, I think my kingdom is calling me."

"You said it wrong." Perfect. She was actually listening.

"Oh? And just how would I say it?" He had to pull a Twiright.

"It's 'I think my laundry is calling me'. Duh." Off she went with a little giggle. Stupid teleporting horses. Don't know a single thing about laundry and phones.

His life continued on for a few more hours until he was interrupted in his no interruption spree. It was a butter colored winged baby horse that disturbed him. He was not in the best of moods due to him accidentally slipping and falling on a rock due to him trying to swear. "Oh... Um, are you al-"

He raised his head. "WHAT?! Every time I try to succeed, you ponies are always there! It's getting ridiculous!" He tried pulling himself up.

"Oh um... I-I didn't mean to... I just-" He was on his feet now.

"Kay I'm gud. Whaddya need, Flutstrut?" She started blabbing off, while apologizing simultaneously, about censuses and those general things. She mentioned another animal he didn't know called a 'goose'. "Flutz, I ain't exactly all for the whole census stuff. Admittedly, it'd be nice to get near some animals... Could probably eat them..." He slapped out of it by applying a hand to his cheek at a high velocity. "Yeah but I won't be able to join you, or whatever. Buzz off. Well actually... I guess technically you have to fly off. Though you don't fly around often, so I guess you can walk off. I dunno, what do you think F?"

"Um... Okay... I guess I'd be... Walking off?" Time to remind her of a cliche.

"Have fun in the sunset." There was an awkward silence.

"What do mean by tha-"

"Just go away, I'm stooped and I don't want to spread the disease." He made a shooing motion towards her with his hand. He saw her friends doing it once, so they obviously knew about it and it's symbolism. As she walked off away from the sunset, rather disappointingly, he got a great view of what he always loves to watch... A leaf falling out of a tree.

An Introduction Of Sorts

Chapter 2: An Introduction of Sorts

Travian stood there, looking at large colorful eyes staring directly at him, filled with either fear or curiosity. It was as if they weren't expecting him to be able to speak at all. He came in a flying metal object from space and beyond, of course he was intelligent! What being in burning metal boxes isn't sentient? He looked around his surroundings and took a good look at them, and took a few notes as well. He was in a dark forest with many vines and strange noises. It wasn't the greatest of places for him to be in but he would have been fine even if these horses hadn't come to him. He probably would have been better. Thinking of the ponies, he turned back to the horses to find them talking among themselves. He whispered to his armor "Helmet, improve audio input volume please." The helmet did so, making their conversation audible. "Thanks babe. What would I do without you?" He loved the ability to do that. He then turned his attention said conversation.

"I didn't think it would have been able to talk! In Equestrian, no less."

"I think it might be a male..."

"Still. He can talk! And I mean, look at it!" They all turned to look at him, then turned back. One of them looked like it knew he was looking at them. "It's like a metal monster." He would make an excellent monster. He could do a decent 'rawr rawr rawr' when he wanted to.

"What if it likes fun?" He did indeed like fun. It was fun.

"Pinkie! It can be dangerous." Travian decided to speak, breaking their conversation. After all, they were saying he was dangerous. He was not, of course.

"Excuse me, ladies. I'm right here. Now, if I recall correctly, I asked you all a few questions." They all looked at him. Then they all took some sort of formation. Was he seriously that intimidating? "Now that I have your utmost attention, I would love to ask who you all are and what you are." 'You never know, maybe they are actually dogs.'

They all looked at him. The purple one moved forward. "We are ponies." She then pointed an entire leg at him. "Now what are you?"

This was one of Travian's games that he loved to play. Whenever someone didn't know what he was, he loved to make something up instead of giving them a legitimate answer. "I am from a race of sun people, who are currently at war with the moon people." With them confused, he decided it was fair to ask a question back. "Where am I?" The pink one looked as though she were about to burst into laughter for some reason. 'Was my answer truly that funny?' Travian thought. Then again, she could have been the smartest and most joking of them all. She probably understood that was a joke.

However, the purple one wasn't having any of this game. She would be called the ruiner of fun. "Give me a serious answer and maybe I'll tell you." Apparently, they know what the sun and moon is. This wasn't good for Travian. Now, however, was not the time to give up. He would not let this down!

"I'm the voice in your head. Pleased to meet yourself," he said as he looked about. The ponies caught on too much. That didn't work, and he could feel the serious in the air. At least the pink one was giggling. "Fine. I am a lizard-person, a strange mutated version of a man. I know, I know, crazy. I'm always green with envy, tipping the scales, and always telling tall tales, I've heard them all. Of course, I am wearing armor and a suit, so the last thing you will see is my skin. I suppose that doesn't matter though... Now for my question, since I gave you a serious answer. Where am I?" Travian thought that he shouldn't try to ramble on like that. He might appear insane, which he of course wasn't. He just had a strong opinion. They looked about at each other, clearly confused at what he said. "Basically, I'm a walking, talking reptile. Now, where in the world am I?"

The purple one, who Travian thought was the ringleader, stepped forward. "You are in the Everfree Forest, which is an unstable place in Equestria. Since we're doing this whole... Question for a question thing, I guess, I should ask you what you're name is."

'Unstable?' Travian thought, 'That's an odd word to say for something on a planet. It implies something is stable.' Travian took a bow and tried to find a name to use. He settled on an old one, from back in his rogue days. "Call me Longshot. At your service." He rose from his bow, ready for his next question. The group had seemed remarkably more relaxed now that they realized he wasn't hostile. He knew he wasn't dangerous! "What are all of your names?" He had heard them say 'Pinkie' so he assumed it was either a nickname or an insult. Either way, it was probably the pink one with that name.

They all took different stances and started announcing their names. The purple one spoke first. "My name is Twilight Sparkle." Travian nodded at her, and awaited the other's names.

The white one spoke next. "And I am Rarity, the fashionista of Ponyville!" Travian would despise her. She was much too snobby, and much too involved with clothing. As much as he adored his armor, he hated clothes. Clothes served no purpose outside of a polar wasteland.

The orange one then said her name with a strange accent Travian had never heard. "Ma name's Applejack." Interesting... pony, he supposed. She had a new accent he would have to learn. Also, he would have to destroy that hat one day. He had a few irrational fears, and one of them was the fear of hats that were ridiculous.

Then the cyan one took it into her right to boast in front of the creature that just shoved her with no care in the world a few moments ago. "Name's Rainbow Dash, best flier in all of Equestria." Travian couldn't resist it. He tried so hard not to be sarcastic, but his brain's natural defense to stupid took over.

"Yeah, uh huh, good for you. I'm sure everyone strives to be you." The answer he got was not expected.

"Well do you have a fan club named after you? 'Cuz I do! Obviously, ponies wanna be as great as me."

"Sounds like something right up my alley. Hey! Maybe I can sprout wings and become the best flier too!" He said sarcastically. She obviously mistook his sarcasm for something genuine.

"Well maybe one day, littl- big guy." She was used to little kids, not him. That was nice to know.

Next up was the yellow one. "I'm Flu..." She was really quiet. Travian decided to take a knee and whispered for his volume input to increase. He then tried to speak softly for her.

"Can you please repeat that?"

"I'm Fluttershy..." She awkwardly looked away. Travian told the helmet to decrease the volume and looked to the pink one, who was now in front of him, bouncing up and down.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie and I want to be your friend! We can have fun and party and play games and-" Travian grabbed her in midair.

"I called it. Oh, and you need to take a single chill pill. Not two, or any more. Just one." Travian then set her down. She had a confused face at his wording.

"Chill pill? Is that like an ice cube?" Travian stopped immediately. He may have just found someone more fun than his brother.

"Yes. Yes it is. It is exactly like an ice cube. But there's a catch to it..." He got down on his knee to whisper in her ear. "It's an imaginary ice cube!" He then stood back up and looked down to see her frozen. Travian thought for a second that he broke her.

Her entire body started shaking. "That. Is." Suddenly she jumped into the air extremely high and shouted "AMAZING!" Travian saw the grave he dug for himself by doing that and it was already deeper than six feet. He hoped to dig it to the center of the planet before he tripped into it by the tiniest pebble. He then looked around as she was having some sort of epiphany.

"Alright. Any questions?" Any questions was not actually the best thing to say.

The cyan one, Rainbow Dash, flew to his side and pointed her leg at his pistol. "What's that thing?"

"No. Not that any question. That's classified." He loved saying that.

"What are you, a military pony?" Pony? Did he look anything like a baby horse? Never mind that white one he said he would despise. He would despise this one.

"As a matter of fact, yes. And no. I work for the military sometimes, and I am not a pony. Silly Rainbow Dash, best flier ever. Do I even resemble you?" Before she could respond, his helmet alerted him of a foreign entity approaching. He quickly grabbed his pistol and looked for the source rapidly. "We aren't alone." He began to pull his weapon out of the holster, ready to fire.

From out of the jungle appeared wolf-like creatures made of wood. Applejack yelled "Timba wolves!" Travian pointed his weapon in their general direction. While he could hit something with a gun, he preferred bows. He got his name 'Longshot' because he could make any shot at any distance with a bow. He put his finger on the trigger and prepared to fire. Civilians, however, prevented him from going off the handle.

"If any of you want to become deaf, I ask you to put your... Hooves, are they? Over your ears. It's about to get loud. In fact, I'll count down from 3 for you to get ready." The wolves started to approach, cutting off his idea. He had to improvise. "Just kidding." He then fired a single round. The bullet made a decent hole in the head of the wolf. They were apparently made of wood, and it showed. He then shifted the gun over to another and fired again. This was enough to cause the enemy to route. He was told that he should never kill more than he had to. "You all can... Wait you probably can't hear me anyways because your hands are on your ears." They then took their hooves off their ears. "Wait. Hooves. I have to get used to these pony things." He needed to, actually. He would be on this planet for a long time, or at least until his brother could get him out.

The comments of the ponies then began. From what they all said, he guessed who said what.

"What a barbaric way to do something!"

"How did that even happen?"

"Wow! That thing was loud!"

"That thing'sa killer!"

"Woah."

None of those belonged to the quiet one, who just stayed silent. He put away the gun, preferring not to have it out anymore. If anything else attacked, he didn't want to go through the effort of grabbing it and shooting it again. He'd just fling himself at the danger because of his laziness. Travian then made some mental notes. 'Note to self: Magical planet has magical beings. Possible solution: Slay the alien, burn the heretic, kill the mutant.' His thoughts were often brutal when it came to magic. He didn't like magic. In fact, he hated it with a burning passion. He wished to eradicate it from all of time. While successful, he didn't purge any planet besides the one he was born on. That was his brother's job to purge everything.

He decided it was time to respond to Rainbow Dash. "Well I guess you know what it is now. Oh yeah, do I even slightly resemble one of you?"

"Well actually-"

"Well actually nothing! I may have 4 main appendages, but that doesn't make me related to you ponies."

"I was going to say you speak Equestrian."

She had a fair point. Travian couldn't let her win though. "No I don't. This isn't even my main language." They stared at him in disbelief. He had to combine syllables and letters to make some sound legit. He got it! "Quaan ni tairi. Desir num taeler. See? Told you. And you didn't believe me." He said the last sentence pointing it at Rainbow Dash. His face turned into a little pout, and he crossed his arms before going on normally with his inquisition. "Now for my real question: Can we leave this forest and go to where it's safe?" That question seemed to knock some sense in them. They didn't really have much of that before, as he noticed.

That was for all except Twilight. "But won't you be abandoning your home?" She pointed at his crashed pod. That was cute.

It was laughable. "That's not my home, Twilight. That was the thing that was supposed to kill me. Thankfully, humans are terrible at killing me. They haven't even done it once!" A true enough statement. Hey, nothing has killed him yet! A bonus achievement.

There was an awkward silence at his lighthearted mood about this. Twilight spoke up. "They tried to kill you?" Deciding that they needed to be informed about everything going on involving the greedy and hateful species that is surprisingly weak, he went ahead and obliged with his answer.

"Yep. Humans are pretty awful, don't you think? You probably don't know what they are, but trust me when I say they are about the last thing you expect to make a threat. Did you know the human race constantly fights with itself because of petty things like money? It's crazy." They were shocked and appalled at his description of humans. Obviously, they weren't used to death and the mention of such. In fact, he believed they were showing worry for him as they now realized he was the victim of a terrible accident. An accident that happened on purpose. "... Why are you all staring at me like that?" He very well knew the answer, but it was fun hearing worried people.

"You just told us that you came in on that thing, crashed out here in the forest, and were almost killed, and you aren't worried or, oh I dunno, bothered?!?" This Twilight would prove annoying. She questioned what he did and how he did! Nobody does that. Nobody.

"Well yeah. Years of this stuff'll make you rather 'meh' about the subject. Yeah, I can be worried, but the point? I fail to see it." They probably didn't realize how old he was. He didn't remember, but that still counts for something!

Of course, his new nemesis, the Rainbow-haired one, had to question this. "And just how old are you?" Last time he checked, it was at least two hundred. With his elongated life though, he could easily be four hundred for all he knew. Or was it a billion... He was unsure, so he spun the wheel for the brain game. As it kept spinning, it eventually landed on a spot and the crowd went wild. It was time to pull out his signature card: The lie card.

"Oh you know... Twenty eight."

"And you're saying years of this stuff?!" When she put it like that, yeah it was absurd.

"Yes. Now can we please leave the forest? I don't have all the power in the world to fend off the foul beasties." He had the power of around two other worlds, but not this one. Thankfully, they actually listened to sense and reason once he explained those few facts. They started to lead him to a path he saw, but then they stopped him again.

"How do we know you're not dangerous and you won't hurt anyone?" This again.

'Twilight really doesn't pay attention, does she?' Travian began with a sigh. "You saw what I did to the... timber wolves, were they? I easily could have hurt all of you if I wanted. If anything, I've been protecting you, so I don't see why I should start attacking you. I have nothing to gain, you have nothing to gain, we all lose! It'd be a poor life decision." There was only one person he knew who had fun destroying societies of innocent things, and that person was long gone. It was also a human, so that makes sense. Silly racist and insensitive humans...

Applejack spoke up. "He does have ah fair point, Twi'." Twilight resigned from her cautious state and into a state of acceptance. Travian didn't see how these ponies could be so illogical about things. That, or Twilight was completely naive about everything that wasn't pony and had the mindset 'it's strange, destroy it for great justice!' or even the famous 'capture it for SCIENCE!' thing that humans always did. They continued walking until Travian could behold the town they were leading him to, and it was quite the blast to the past.

Same Rhyme, Same Reason

Chapter 18: Same Rhyme, Same Reason

The couch was comfy. The room was silent. The strangeling was asleep. Travian, however, was fully awake. The entire cottage was dark, and very boring. Nothing was occurring except for the occasional chirp from outside. Travian spent most of his nights either sleeping or napping occasionally, but something really got him thinking tonight. He wasn't sure what. Maybe it had to do with the literal lack of rain. Maybe it was his spear, which he was staring at. Maybe it was something deep down, a place that was rarely touched by Travian.

It had been three weeks since his utter humiliation. During this time, there had been some sort of drought as rain had not fallen for this entire duration. He just couldn't sleep for a while, and this was a shock to him as he was thinking as to why he couldn't sleep. He eventually stopped thinking as he knew what would happen if he kept thinking. He found himself staring at the little strangeling upon his body. She probably hasn't been too happy with him not being able to move.

He looked back to the spear he acquired upon the wall. It was propped up against it, otherwise it would reach the ceiling. He thought about how it could dispel dust and fire. While it was cool in itself, that could be useful. He essentially had a broom. A broom with a pointy end. That made him smile. He would have to start practicing with it to try and figure out ways to use it. He liked the idea of using its shaft to bash the ponies across the noggin if they annoyed him. It would be hilariously funny for him.

He moved his head towards the window. He took a breath, which was remarkably easier to do when his body was more healed. He once heard from his brother that apparently he and his brother were cursed, causing them to heal extremely quick, but in exchange have to feel more pain. He asked his brother what he meant by that, but he never responded. Travian didn't believe in curses, but it was strange how he healed so quickly from such an event.

He looked outside, seeing the darkness outside only disturbed by this planet's moon. It was a nice sight, if he were honest. He couldn't see the moon, so he assumed that it was either going down or it was going up. He never noticed the directions the sun and moon moved across the sky. What he did notice was how the there were a few moving shapes in the darkness. It looked as though some clouds were moving. He predicted there would be some rain, interrupting the drought that was happening.

After a short while of contemplating such things, Travian laid his head down and prepared for a nap. His preparation for a nap was interrupted when the strangeling upon his chest arose from its slumber. She raised her head to look around, but she saw no one awake. Travian stayed down, and kept a small bit of his eye open. The strangeling scooted itself closer to Travian's head and then cuddled him a little bit. Why she would do such a thing, he would never know.

Mayella went promptly back to sleep, allowing Travian to have his nap. When he awoke, there was not a strangeling upon his chest, but a bunny. He looked outside and saw the sky covered in cloud. "What. No, seriously. What?" He was puzzled by how so many clouds got here. His response to such a random thing cause the bunny to wake up. He pointed at the window. "Do you see this?! Look at all these clouds!" The bunny looked at the window, and was surprised by the amount of clouds. "I know, right?"

Fluttershy moved into the window and took an immediate notice to Travian's utter confusion. She moved over to speak to him and hopefully explain what was going on. "Oh, you see, the pegasus missed a rain shower last week, so they have to make a storm to make up for it. I'm sure you understand." He had several questions about what she had just said.

"So wait... These... 'pegasus's can move clouds?" She nodded her head. "... Aren't you a 'pegasus'?" She nodded slowly. "So... You aren't out there, doing work."

"Oh no, I, um... I helped several animals evacuate their homes so they wouldn't be caught off guard for the storm." He had the ultimate response.

"Do you need to run a census on those animals, or am I just stupid?"

"Well yes, of course we need to have a census on all the animals, but that wasn't the case this time." Travian was supposed to be joking. He was officially dumbfounded at these ponies. At least the strangeling was equally confused. He put his back down in another defeat. One day he would catch these ponies on something stupid and call them out on it. Until then, though, he would have to live with it.

He really didn't like having to do nothing for such a long time. Sure, he had an interesting strangeling to talk to, but that was only when Fluttershy wasn't around. This supposed storm actually started picking up after a few hours. The rain fell down, causing little droplets to appear on the windows. There were a few knocks on the door, so Travian actually decided to go against the doctor's orders and tried to walk to it. Tried was the main word. He fell over, causing a worried bunny to run to his side. He, however, knew he was on the couch for the longest time. He lifted himself up, his legs waking up slowly. He then walked over to the door almost as slowly. He heard some more knocking on the door, so he opened it.

In front of the door was Pinkie Pie and... "So. What brings you here with her, Pinkie?" He let them in, hoping that the doctor wouldn't be mad at him.

"Oh you know, the storm and rain and stuff. Wait, why did you call *the rainbow menace* 'her' in such a weird way?" She answered the question for her.

"Pinkie, I don't think he likes me." When Pinkie got the idea, she was confused.

"But I thought you two were friends! In fact, I thought you two were marefriend and colt-" A cyan hoof appeared over her mouth.

"No, we are not." Travian said that at the same time as the rainbow heathen. He really did have an irrational hatred of her sometimes, but he liked that irrational hatred. Pinkie Pie looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I know! We can try some games while the storm's outside. It's going to be so fun!" Travian really did enjoy games. It was a shame he never had time for them. Also, most of them involved fighting, so he supposed he couldn't do the games with a lot of people.

"Alright. That sounds marvelous. So what're we going to do?" Pinkie grabbed a bottle from... Somewhere.

"Let's play spin the bottle." And so they all gathered in a circle. Travian was an unsafe distance away from his nemesis, but that was fine. "Now who gets to spin first..." There was a Fluttershy coming down the stairs. Unfortunately for her, Travian decided to have a bit of fun.

"Flutterwhy!" He walked over and welcomed her to the circle. "Come, spin the bottle." He didn't know how this game was played, but it seemed to have a simple concept. Spinning a bottle was not too complicated for him. He sat her down, and she was kind of speechless at how he was up and walking around. It was a thing, though, so she probably didn't want to question it.

After a short moment, she spun the bottle. The bottle landed on Pinkie. Pinkie then said "Dare!" Was that how this was played? Whoever the bottle landed on, they had to say a word? That would be easy. He could totally win this.

"I dare you to..." Fluttershy looked around. "Touch the ceiling!" Pinkie somehow jumped high enough to touch the ceiling. This was how it was played, then. While a little bit more complicated then he originally thought, he could totally do this. Now it was Pinkie's turn to spin the bottle. When she did, it landed on Travian.

"Dare," he said. Now he would have to do whatever she asked. This would prove enjoyable.

"I dare you to hug a bunny!" Now that got him by surprise. He shrugged and picked up Mayella. He then hugged her, causing her to get some weird look in her eyes. He then let go.

"Easily done." He took one look at the bottle before moving his hand over to spin it. It stopped on his number one menace.

"Truth." Now he was utterly stumped. Maybe this meant that she had to tell him something? He took that guess and went with it.

"Do you love Flutterpie?"

"Flutter what?"

"Flutterbye." Oh how his enemy was unaware of what he did. She picked up on it just then. She took one look at Fluttershy.

"Ew. No." Her response was expected, but he was still shocked by it. How could she not love that simply adorable face and the way she is? Now the braggart started to spin the bottle. The tables turned when it landed on Travian.

"Truth." This could be a big question she would ask, but he was willing to risk it.

"Do YOU love Fluttershy?" He put an arm around Fluttershy.

"Of course I do! Who wouldn't love her? You know, besides completely heartless beings who know of nothing adorable or cute to the maximum." He let loose a glare in Greatlow's direction. He used the word love very loosely compared to her, apparently. What an uptight individual. He let go of Fluttershy and looked to Mayella just enough to see her slightly annoyed expression. He took his hand to the bottle and spun it, landing on Pinkie. The game continued for quite some time.

When Fluttershy left to go do something along the lines of 'escape situation', the game got very interesting. It was Pinkie's turn to spin, and it stopped on Travian. "Dare." He found that he mildly enjoyed this game.

"I dare you to kiss *the cyan one*!" Suddenly his mood took a little dive. That was something he had not expected at all.

"Um. So I think-"

"You have to do it, you dared." He was successfully countered. He was about to use Twilight's excuse, but apparently that only works for her. He arose to his full height and came over to the rainbow maned pony. He crouched down, completely unwilling to do what Pinkie had asked. His menace was whining about how she didn't want to, or trying to say something along the lines of no. Unfortunately for her, Travian didn't like whining, so he thrust his head forth, connecting with her mouth. He flicked his tongue forward, as well, just to give a little bit of a warning for her to shut up.

He caught Jane Doe off guard, and in return he caught himself off guard. All round, it was actually a good situation for him. Thankfully, the contact didn't last more than three seconds and that seemed to satisfy Pinkie. It even satisfied Travian, as her face was priceless. Soon enough, Pinkie and Travian were on the floor laughing at her. "I don't know how to feel about this," was all she said. That worried Travian, but he decided that it was just to add to the hilarious effect.

Before he got up, however, he received a kick from a bunny to the side of the head. It was kind of expected. Mayella was rather possessive over him. He reached for the bottle, but his turn wasn't completed. A Fluttershy came to destroy the game with a warning about what time it was. It was effective as it disassembled the little game almost instantly. Those random Fluttershys... Ruining Travian's fun! It was rude of them.

So Pinkie Pie got to sleep up with Fluttershy, while Travian and his nemesis got to sleep in the same room. While he could consider that a coincidence, he thought it wasn't. He took up his spot on the couch. The bunny took up her spot on his chest. His nemesis took a spot close to Travian. Actually it was as if she was trying to tell him something. She then smacked him in the shoulder with her hoof. "Don't do that ever again."

"No promises!" He then laid his head down quickly to the other side, allowing the cyan one to threaten him without him listening. Even going to sleep was fun with these ponies around! That was strange. Normally he never had such fun going to sleep. In fact... He had never really had fun going to sleep before. Something was horribly off about these ponies, but something was also horribly right about that. He just couldn't put a claw on it.