One does not simply refuse Pinkie Pie's friendship

by Little Solarflare

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1006

And this is exactly why

And this is exactly why.

NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!!

Published 2012-03-16 16:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-16 16:24:01 UTC

SPAAACE!!!

I decided to take a break from writing my main. So here's my first try at Comedy!

ENJOY!!!!

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Pay Day groggily opened his eyes with great difficulty. All the bruises spent from the past hour were catching up with him.

He tried to move but he realized that he was tied down on inside a cannon. He moved his head as he scanned the room. It was very dark, he could see the outlines of party streamers, balloons and cupcakes all over the place.

His eyes glanced over to another table. "Is...is that a banana?" he wondered at the strange curved object lying on a plate. Also there was a Cake with a very sharp looking knife near it.

"Whats going on?" He thought to himself in panic as his heart began to thump very loudly.

Suddenly a very pink face pressed into his. "Oh hey there I see your awake which is great, I mean it took me SOOOOOO long to catch you that I thought I was gonna give up but I guess thats okay now since your here!"

Pay Day groaned, the Pink Pony's rambling was worsening his headache tenfold. "Ms Pie, I really enjoyed your hospitality and trying to be friends with me, but i'm trying to tell you...I'M NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS NOW WOULD YOU PLEASE UNTIE ME!"

Pinkie Pie's smile died on her face. "yo..Your not??" She stammered

"NO, especially not after you've been chasing me around Ponyville ALL DAY. I'm here to collect taxes for Canterlot, NOT MAKE FRIENDS!!" Pay Day ranted angrily
"Not only do you make me look like a foal running around Ponyville, but you somehow managed to destroy all the paperwork from Canterlot that I brought along. So NO Ms Pie, I will not be friends with you. EVER!!"

Pinkie looked like she was about to cry when suddenly she reverted back to her usual hyperactive self, though a hint of malice had entered her eyes. "Oh i guess that's okay then, Cranky Doodle showed me last time that all some friends needed were a little understanding. But since your not here to stay in Ponyville, i don't think you quite belong here anymore."

Pay Day who had not noticed such a change says "THANK you, now can you untie me so I can leave?"

Pinkie Pie's grin became creepy. "But i haven't had some fun with you yet."

"Umm Ms Pie? I really think I should be going, so can you please untie me?" Pay Day asked, worry beginning to creep into his voice.

"Oooh Pay Pay, your so silly! You don't have a say in this, I'm giving you a farewell that you'll never forget, and I want you to be there!" The Insane Pink Pony giggled to herself as she picked up the knife."

Pay Day's eyes widened in horror.

"Before you go, " Pinkie Pie's smile now freakishly wide, "I think i'm, going to cut you up...."

Pay Day gulped in fear, too scared to do anything else.

"A piece of cake!" Before he could react, a slice of chocolate cake with a cherry on top was pushed in front of his face.

Pay Day, already scared out of his mind, fainted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pay Day felt the warmth of sunlight on his face. He opened his eyes, and a beautiful day greeted him... then felt something was wrong. He was still tied up....

...inside a Cannon.

Suddenly a megaphone enhanced Pink Voice rang out. "Filly's and gentlecolts!! Today We are going to witness the Amazing feat of the Flying SPACE Pony!!!

"WHAT!!?!?" Pay Day thought with panic. He struggled to his bonds with no avail. He tried to scream, only to realise a cupcake was shoved into his mouth with a cloth gag tied around it.

"In a matter of moments, we will watch him attempt to be the first earth Pony to BREAK ORBIT!!"

He could hear the cheering and stamping. "MMMMPH!" He tried to call for help.

"Let us Begin the Countdown!!! The tinny voice boomed.

"TEN....NINE....EIGHT The crowd chanted

"nononono!

".....FIVE...FOUR ...THREE

Pay Day's life flashed before him.
He saw himself playing in the sandpit as a foal.
Hugging his parents goodbye as he left for Canterlot.
His first kiss.
His admission into the Tax Office.
Pinkie Pie...

"FIREEEE" The Voice and the crowd screamed together, and the last thing Pay Day saw from Ponyville was a huge crowd, led by a pink mare with a banner saying "farewell!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-!"

His voice echoed as he flew over the mountain.

Pinkie Pie giggled madly to herself, before a new sight caught her eyes. A Lone and rather depressed looking pony trotted in from the Ponyville Bridge. "Time to make some smiles!" The Party Pony thought to herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Celestia's eye was beginning to twitch.
Before her was another endless line of ponies to attend her day court. Inside she wanted to scream but outside, her composure remained calm and regal. An skill achieved after one thousand years of practice.

She sighed.

"Next!" her royal guard announced as a pony in a top hat began to address her.

"six hundred and fifty six, six hundred and fifty seven..." She mentally counted in her head as the Pony in front drawled on.

"Oh I swear to my mother and father, I would do anything to get out of here!" Celestia thought to herself.

"Anything???" A mischevious and familiar voice rang in her head.

"Luna not now!!" She mentally hissed back to her sister.

"Oh Tia. You will be out very shortly"

Celestia shifted uncomfortably on her seat. The Pony in front of her looked at her with Concern, "Is everything alright your highness?"
She held her hoof up. "Shhh. Listen."

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH *CRASH*

Suddenly a loud scream was heard, Followed by the crashing of a window as a grey Pony with a moneybag Cutie mark flew in.

Celestia smiled as she realized what had just happened.

"Oh Pinkie Pie. I taught you well. She chuckled darkly to herself.