Twilight Sparkle and Applejack Enjoy Some Peaches

by Fon Shaolin

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy
Length: 1566

Applejack steals some peaches and Twilight helps her destroy the evidence.

Applejack steals some peaches and Twilight helps her destroy the evidence.

I was going to update something else, but then this guy said I could do a peach story.

Published 2013-12-20 01:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-20 01:00:02 UTC

Chapter 1

“So ya’ll understand why Ah have to do this, right?”

Twilight paused, her fork floating in the air. “Of course, Applejack. I’m just very happy I could help you out.”

The Dixie pony let out a relieved sigh. “I’m glad. Them peaches were just biting into our profits too much. So that’s why—”

“—That’s why you and me have to eat them all so nopony else will chose peaches over apples. I totally get it.” Twilight brought the fork up and took a dainty little bite of peach. It was such exotic fair – tangy and juicy and just a teensy bit sweet. “I have to confess, though, that these are delicious.”

Applejack’s head snapped up from her plate of peaches. “I love ya like a sister, Sugarcube, but that there is blasphemy,” she said, a bit of peach dripping from her chin.

“Sorry, Sorry.” Twilight held up her hooves and surrendered, though she did counterattack with a quick swipe of her napkin. Really, sometimes she felt so sorry for how earth ponies had to eat. “But you know,” she said, giving her stomach a quick rub, “we’ve been at this for about an hour now. I don’t know if I have much more room for peaches left.”

Even the indomitable farm pony had to sourly nod. “It’s a mite bit more work than Ah thought it’d be. Lots of peaches to eat still, but I’m plumb stuffed.”

“Why don’t I go put on a pot of coffee and we can let all these peaches settle for a bit.”

“That sounds like a right winner, Twi.”

Twilight pushed away from the table and gingerly stepped over the bag of peaches that still awaited consumption. A quick mental calculation showed they’d gone through less than half of Applejack’s pilfered peaches. Even that little bit made Twilight’s stomach gurgle unpleasantly. She hoped that a nice cup of coffee would settle it enough so that she could help her friend.

When the coffee machine was happily bubbling, Twilight poked her head out of the kitchen for a spell. “You never did tell me how this came about, Applejack. We have a few minutes and I’m still pretty curious.”

“Not much to tell. Ya’ll know Ah have my stall in the market on the weekdays, right?” A nod from Twilight. “Well, Ah set up today like usual, all rearing to go, but business was slow as molasses in winter. Ah gave it a good hour and a half before Ah went looking fer answers.”

“And that’s when you found the peaches.”

“That’s when Ah found the peaches.”

Twilight trotted back into the kitchen when she heard the coffeepot ding. “And then you panicked,” she called out. “Want any sugar?”

“Ah didn’t panic!” Applejack thundered, slamming her hooves down on the table hard enough to shake Twilight’s wooden pony bust. “Ah just had a slight…lapse in judgment. And two sugars pleas, Sugarcube.”

“Applejack, you showed up on my doorstep at nine in the morning with several bags of peaches on your back. How is that not panicking?”

Applejack was spared having to quickly answer by Twilight setting her cup of coffee down. The orange pony poignantly spent a few moments loudly sipping at the hot drink, making Twilight roll her eyes. Sometimes her friend could be downright petulant!

Finally, the earth pony could stand the hot liquid no longer and strangled out a “yum” as she put her cup back down. “Ah. Wasn’t. Panicking. Ah just thought that ya’ll might want to help me out with my problem. When Ah was in Manehatten, Ah heard from my Aunt and Uncle Orange that high-class unicorns in the big cities used to like this kind of ex-ot-ic stuff.”

“Some of us do. You’re lucky that I have a sweet tooth, though. These peaches are a bit sweeter than I’m used to.” Taking a more languid approach with her coffee, Twilight let her mind drift as the hot blend slid down her throat. “This reminds me so much of my days back in the Princess’s School. I used to do things like this.”

Applejack nearly spat out her mouthful of coffee. “You?! Forgive me, Twi, but ya’ll don’t seem like the type of pony that would sneak around like this.”

“And how do you think I stayed Celestia’s #1 student? Everypony at the school was smart. Sometimes, just to give me a teeny little edge, I had to get creative.” She pointed her hoof at Applejack’s smug look. “It’s the same thing you did, but with just a bit more planning. You wanted to make sure your business stays afloat and I wanted to keep my top spot. Don’t get too smug, though. I was smart enough to never do anything like this. Most of the time somepony would just ‘misplace’ a book or an important research paper. Sometimes a bit…more.” She hid her smile behind the rim of her coffee cup.

Applejack whistled. “Boy howdy, if Rainbow Dash ever found out ya’ll weren’t such a goodie-two-hooves she’d never let ya’ll live it down.”

“Applejack.”

This time it was earth pony’s turn to surrender. “She won’t hear it from me, Ah promise. Ah’ve been the target of too many of her pranks to set up somepony else.” Twilight was still glowering. “Pinkie Swear it, Twi.”

That did the trick. Twilight was all smiles again as she pushed their coffee cups away to clear room for more peaches. “Come on, I feel reinvigorated! I’m sure we can get through the second bag before noon.”

Before they could actually get back to that, though, there was a tap on the door of the library. Applejack and Twilight shared a look before hastily sweeping back in their leftover peaches into the bags and stuffing them under the table.

As it was public library, though, the purple unicorn couldn’t actually keep anypony out even if she wanted to. In the spirit of that, Rarity was through the door before Twilight could conjure up a tablecloth to cover the table with.

“Twilight, you will never believe what happened in the market this morning! Why, I have never seen such an up…roar…” She trailed off. The pearl mare glanced at the burlap bags embroidered with cheery peaches, Twilight’s manic expression, and then Applejack’s horrible poker face.

“You’re the one that stole the peaches, aren’t you?” she accused. “Applejack, I can’t believe this! The market is in an uproar! A whole cart of peaches stolen in broad daylight!”

“Shhhh! Rarity, we’re trying to be sneakyhere!” Twilight shushed. She slammed the door shut behind Rarity and started frantically double-checking the shades on her windows

“And Twilight! Applejack I can understand, perhaps, but you? Darling, this could mar your record for years if you are discovered!”

Applejack threw a hoof around Rarity’s neck and pulled the squawking unicorn in close. “And that’s why this is going to be hush-hush, Rars. If the police get wind of this you’ll be visiting us in the slammer.”

Rarity stared. “In…in the prison? Can you even imagine how my coat clashes with that dreary place?”

“Horribly, Ah’d imagine. And while Ah’m in there, Ah suppose Ah would have to do my civic duty and tell them policeponies all about who caused that blackout downtown last month. Since ya’ll are so concerned about law and order, that is.”

“But…but I asked her for weeks to keep down that dub step racket.” Applejack’s unsympathetic look greeted Rarity’s complaining. “Very well, I suppose I could keep this between us friends,” Rarity mused. She rolled her eyes and shrugged out of Applejack’s grip. “Your sordid secret is safe with me. That does not, however, lessen my disappointment in you two.”

Applejack and Twilight breathed a deep sigh of relief when their friend started for the door again. “I suppose this skull drudgery is why you sent poor Spike over to my boutique? I should hope you didn’t expose him to this sort of thing.”

“Just tell him to come back at around one and all this will be swept under the rug, Rarity.”

“Twi, we still have two Peaches left,” Applejack pointed out.

The unicorn clicked her tongue. “Right, it is going pretty slow. Maybe three? Four? Just ask him to come home before dark.”

Rarity nodded airily, as if even agreeing to that much were making her some kind of accomplice. “Of course, it’s dangerous for a young dragon to be walking around at night, what with all the thieves about these days.” She shot a dirty look at Applejack, who had the decency to blush. “I’ll return to helping the police find the owners of the cart, though. Somepony should at least tell them that all their peaches are gone.”

Just as she was almost through the door, though, Rarity started tittering.

“What’s so funny?” Applejack asked.

“Well, it’s just that you said, ‘we have two peaches left’ to eat. I was simply thinking those must be rather large peaches to need bags that big.” She gave the earth pony a bump with her hip. “Sorry, Darling. I know you cannot help your charming accent, but sometimes it does tickle me.”

Still giggling, Rarity left the two partners in crime alone in the library.

Applejack gave Twilight a sour look. “More coffee?”

“More coffee.”

Author's Note

Coffee helps with digestion!

The more you know.