Skies uncrossed

by Uberdeathninja

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 8333

Sleipnir is the last waking deity in all Asgard. He is to wake the gods when another soul seeks to join the eternal battle. But a chance encounter with Celestia leaves him stranded in midgard. Will he return home? Or will this new world be his end?

Sleipnir, Son of Loki, Steed of Odin, Is the sole waking being in all of Valhalla. His job is to find one more soul seeking to join the Eternal Battle in the sky so he can wake The Gods. But when by chance he meets Celestia, His power to cross The Rainbow Bridge is taken from him and the battle steed's self-respect along with it. Celestia believes Twilight and her friends can change him for the better. But Sleipnir is still part of Odin's clan and refuses to be changed to these mortals' pacifistic ways. Can the Mane Six change the ancient steed? Not if Sleipnir's got anything to say about it.

Rated Mature for: Strong language, Brutality, Alcohol, And bloodshed.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-22 12:36:12 UTC

A meeting of chance

Sleipnir sat on his legs and watched the world go by. He had bore witness to the fall of the human race and the rise of Pony kind. He hated What had become of Midgard in the absence of humans. So peaceful, everything had to be solved with diplomacy, and understanding. These pathetic sops couldn't even fight when they were drunk! but the worst part of this new world was it was based on Greece and Rome! The most uptight, posh, ignorant, douche bags he had ever seen. His kind were worth nothing to him any more. They knew no hardships because they tried to make a perfect world based on everything the old world could never have.

"To Utgard with their 'peace' and 'harmony'." He snorted. "If I were their first king, I would have preached the old ways to them." He said. He resumed his silent observation. He watched Pegasi float along, without a care in the world. The farmers grow crops that never withered. He turned his head to the massive city on the mountain, pondering how hard it was to make such a thing that could stay up that long. He never made contact with these brain dead sops but he always imagined if he walked in to town one day, they would declare him God and listen to his commands. He knew nothing like that would ever happen. He let out a long, drawn-out sigh and watched the world go by again.

Celestia looked out over her and her sister's kingdom. The sun was shining, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, it wasn't too warm... It was another perfect day... Almost. Celestia felt a single being that was discontent. She wondered who could be so discontent in her perfect kingdom. Celestia usually dismissed this as clearly something that didn't need to be solved with direct intervention, but still, this same being was discontent every day. She only felt this being for the last four weeks. So she decided to pay them a visit today. She put Luna in charge of today's meetings and sent a notice to everyone she was meeting with about her placing her sister in charge.

"Sister are you sure about this? Only one pony is discontent, It's not like the fate of the world is on the line!" Luna tried to reason.

"Yes, Luna. This pony has been discontent every day for four whole weeks now." Celestia said, firm in her beliefs.

"Very well. I cannot stop you." Luna said as Celestia Began her 'Solar Eyes' spell. Celestia saw on a ridge in the Everfree, a strange stallion. He was a head taller than her with her horn. He had a light grey coat with dark spots everywhere, a dark grey mane and tail. Celestia wondered what set him apart from other ponies aside from his size. Then he stood up stretched his legs, revealing his eight powerful legs. He gave the air behind him a few experimental kicks to see if he was good, then he laid back down. Celestia took flight in the direction of the strange stallion. She didn't know why, but she found him extremely attractive. She knew nothing about him, but hope to make him stop being so angry and spiteful.

Sleipnir stood up and started to leave. Just then he heard flapping. He looked back to see a white mare with wings and a horn! She landed right where he was sitting only a few moments ago. She cleared her throat.

"Hello. I am Princess Celestia, Raiser of The Sun and co-ruler of Equestria. What is your name, stranger?" Celestia asked. Sleipnir prepared his 'Voice of Asgard' and spoke:

"I am Sleipnir! Son of Loki! Steed of Odin!" He said in a voice like thunder.

"Well, It's a pleasure to meet you Sleipnir. I noticed that you are very discontent. What seem to trouble you?" Celestia said.

"A distaste for your laugh of a culture." Sleipnir said in his 'business' voice.

"I cannot help you if don't aren't specific. What do you you despise about it? maybe it can be changed." Celestia tried to reason.

"Every thing. Until this world were to remember the old ways, I will remain discontent." Sleipnir said. Celestia was startled by this stallion. He wanted to see everything she worked so hard to achieve gone!

"Why do you hate the way things are now?" Celestia inquired.

"Because you are ignorant of the old ways and you would even brand them evil." Sleipnir Retorted. Celestia, ever the open minded sister, Decided to at least here of these 'Old Ways' before judging them. Sleipnir gave a brief overview of the Old Ways. Celestia didn't like their barbaric nature. Celestia criticized every last thing she disagreed about with this newly proposed culture.

"You cannot think that that's any life worth living! It's cruel and wrong! life should be spent striving for peace and morality, not might and glory in battle!" Celestia said.

"Yet I've seen humanity change and grow. I have learned that there is no peace that lasts for ever. War is the only constant. It never changes no matter what you do." Sleipnir said. Then he turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" Celestia asked.

"I'm going home. I'm done here." Sleipnir Replied rudely.

"You cannot leave! You still have to learn about Harmony and the magic of friendship!" Celestia said.

"Watch me." Sleipnir said. Celestia couldn't let this barbarian walk away with his head still filled with thoughts like his. Thinking quickly, she cast a spell to keep him in Equestria until he was changed for the better. Sleipnir suddenly stopped as the spell took hold.

"What did you do to me, wench?" Sleipnir more said than asked as he turned and glared at Celestia.

"I have placed a spell that will keep you here until you learn to accept Harmony and Friendship." If Sleipnir was pissed before, now he was furious.

"Tell me why I shouldn't end you right now." Sleipnir spat.

"Because I'm the only one who can remove the spell." Celestia said calmly, despite the massive horse glaring more than daggers at her. But she knew that he was playing with an empty hand. He couldn't kill her or he wouldn't get to go home. This Put her in the position of power.

"Damn you." He growled. And then he sighed. "You win... For now." Sleipnir knew he had lost ether way. He wasn't stupid. He wasn't in a good position here. But he wasn't as dumb as Celestia thought. He would find a way to turn the tables on her. He was The Son of Loki after all. But for now, he had to wait. He had learned one thing from humanity though. He needed something visual to blackmail her with. In a sense; 'pics, or it didn't happen'.

"Now, I have some people I would like you to meet..." Celestia began as she charged her horn for a spell. She teleported them to her room and told Sleipnir to stay while she inform her sister of her return and the circumstances surrounding it.

"Perfect." Sleipnir said as Celestia left. He began carefully looking through her things for anything he could use as blackmail. He searched through all her drawers and found nothing. A neat stack of letters on her desk in her private library revealed nothing. Bookshelves? Negative. Drawers? Nothing. He searched high and low. He even looked for false drawer bottoms and back panels. Still, his search was fruitless. He returned to Celestia's bedroom and laid down on the floor.

A minute or two later her heard hoofsteps outside the door followed by muffled talking. Then the doors opened and Celestia stepped in with a shorter, blue alicorn. Sleipnir assumed this to be Celestia's sister. He said nothing and returned the spiteful glare she gave him with one of his own.

"So you are the heathen barbarian Celestia told us about." Luna said with contempt. Before Celestia could say anything Sleipnir made his stand.

"Heathen is a relative term, you know." Sleipnir shot back in his version of the Royal Canterlot Voice with a vengeance.

"Hold thy tongue, Savage! You are in the presence of royalty!" Luna said.

"And you stand in the presence of a god, lesser mortal." Sleipnir retorted viciously, rising to his full height for extra intimidation.

"You are delusional to think yourself a god. I and my sister are the only gods here, mortal!" Luna said with bitter contempt.

"And yet I have witnessed your births from afar! Even then I was far older than you both are now! Immortality does not make you a god." Sleipnir refused to back down. If this came to blows, then so be it.

"The same goes to you, too, heathen." Luna said using the only loophole in his logic

"I claim godhood because my parents are gods, unlike yours." Sleipnir retorted. Celestia cut off her sister and guest's flame war.

"Enough!" Celestia said, ending the feud. "It will be hard enough to integrate Sleipnir into society and help him change without you trying to make him feel unwelcome, Luna. And as for you, Sleipnir; You'll never make friends if you keep acting like you're better than everyone else." She continued.

"Not that it's untrue." Sleipnir said. Luna said nothing, but instead chose to glare at Sleipnir.

"Now, I want you to to have a pleasant conversation while I write and send a letter to Twilight. You can start by apologizing to one another." Celestia said as she turned and left. Leaving two spiteful deities in the room to glare at each other.

"So... I suppose we're supposed to apologize?" Sleipnir said breaking the ice.

"I'll apologize for my actions if you apologize for yours and agree to become civilized." Luna said.

"I'll be honest with you, I never asked to come here. I was content going to this ridge out in the woods and just watching the world go by every day. I was doing no harm just glaring and thinking angry thoughts, so drop the part about conforming to your ways and its a deal." Sleipnir said.

"Than no deal." Luna said.

"So be it." Sleipnir said.

"Indeed... Sleipnir... What an odd name." Luna said

"Only to you." Sleipnir said. A long pause followed suit as the two deities assessed the threat the other posed to them. Finally, Celestia returned, breaking up the staring contest.

"Well, Sleipnir. Twilight will be arriving shortly to meet you. Have you and Luna apologized?" Celestia asked.

"No." They both said simultaneously.

"I see." Celestia said, her disappointment obvious.

"Well if you will not apologize on your own I will make you like foals." Celestia said again.

"Fine." Sleipnir and Luna said. After brief and unheartfelt apologies, Luna decided to leave the room. The choking silence got to Celestia so she decided to break it.

"So... Do you want to talk?" Celestia asked to break the ice.

"No." Sleipnir replied. He was still siting in the same spot on the floor next to the bed. The crippling silence would remain unbroken for now as Sleipnir passed out from boredom. This was going to be a long few months for Celestia.

whom gods annoy

Twilight and her friends; Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity arrived at The Royal Palace in Canterlot. According to the letter Celestia sent; She wanted them to meet some one, and everything would be explained in her room. From what they were told It was an unusual stallion. Twilight arrived at the gate and and were directed to Celestia's room. upon arrival they were greeted by Celestia outside the room.

"Greetings. I suppose you all want to meet the pony I have told you about? Well, I will have to warn you, he isn't a very nice stallion. I am hoping you six can change that.

"Of course." Twilight said. Her friends were with her on this one.

"Excellent. Follow me." Celestia said. She led the Elements into the room. Sleipnir was still asleep on the floor Just as Celestia left him. The elements look shocked to see somepony easily bigger than Celestia just laying on the floor. If it weren't for the loud snoring, they would think he was dead. Celestia cleared her throat, awakening the slumbering brute.

"No. Let me sleep." The stallion grumbled. Celestia was not happy with him just sleeping there.

"Wake up, Sleipnir. The Elements of Harmony are here to see you." Celestia said. The stallion, now identified as Sleipnir rolled onto his legs and stood up. The Elements Noticed two things immediately: first; he had eight legs, Second; He had no cutie mark. He finished stretching his legs and gave a few kicks to make sure he was good.

"So these are the heroes of this pathetic crap sack of a world." Sleipnir said in his business voice. "They can't even kill a fly." He remarked.

"What's your problem?" Rainbow asked getting in Sleipnir's face.

"The fact I don't want want to be sucked into your worthless, honorless, and weak culture." Sleipnir said.

"Our culture is not worthless or honorless. And it most certainly is not weak!" Twilight explained.

"Our culture is rich, And Honorable! You should consider yourself honored to become part of it, you brute!" Rarity agreed.

"Your culture is a joke! I have outlived countless of your kind, and I will outlive countless more. When your culture collapses and your cities burn for it, I'll be there to piss on the ashes." Sleipnir said bitterly "Odin's beard. Not even a full day And my blood pressure's already rising." He snorted. The Elements had looks of horror plastered on their faces. Celestia's face was one of disappointment.

"And that is why you will remain in Equestria, Sleipnir. If you will not change, you will never leave." Celestia said. Sleipnir glared daggers at her. "You will apologize for you hateful words, Sleipnir." She said again.

"No. You have no power over me." Sleipnir said.

"Why do you hate us, Sleipnir? What did we ever do to you?" Twilight asked calmly shocking everyone except Celestia. Sleipnir was silent. "Exactly. So why are you so mean to us then?" She asked again. Sleipnir let out a long sigh.

"I hate you because you built a society around everything I hate. I have learned many truths in my lifetime. None of these truths are recognized or are even flat out rejected by your culture, Thus, you have inadvertently damned yourselves." he said. The Elements were unsure of what to think. On the one hand he despised the Equestrian culture. On the other hand, all he had ever seen was violence, war, and brutality. The girls gathered around and disused the new knowledge of Sleipnir's life.

Meanwhile, Sleipnir went into the library to look out the window. While looking he began contemplating how to blackmail Celestia. He couldn't win this fight with just words, But a picture would seal his victory. Celestia thought he was just a mindless brute, but he was not some hot-headed idiot. No, he was the son of Loki. He just had to bide his time and he was home free. The door opened and Twilight stepped in, Much to Sleipnir's dismay.

"Come to rub in the fact that I can't go home?" He asked.

"Actually, I was able to convince my friends to forgive you. But only on the condition that you apologize and agree to change." Twilight said.

"I thought you'd have figured out by now I'm too stubborn and prideful." Sleipnir said.

"Celestia said you'll never leave if you don't change." Twilight said.

"I don't think she knows what she's dealing with." Sleipnir said.

"You have only ever seen turmoil and war. There's more to life than fighting and killing, Sleipnir. Don't make this harder than it has to be." Twilight tried to reason.

"I never asked for this. I was just sitting on a ridge glaring and thinking angry thoughts. when Celestia came. It all went down hill from there. And now I have to change to go home." Sleipnir Explained.

"Try to make the best of this. Don't try to force yourself to change... Just let it come to you. It will be easier for you, I promise." Twilight said. Sleipnir sighed.

"I don't want to change. I want to go home." Sleipnir said bluntly.

"You have to try at least. If you won't do it for Celestia, then do it for me. We want to help you, Sleipnir but we can't if you won't let us." Twilight said. Sleipnir gave up.

"Fine. Don't expect it to happen over night though." Sleipnir said.

"Alright. Thank you, Sleipnir." Twilight said. Then they left the library. The other Elements were waiting for the in the other room.

"Well?" Rainbow said.

"I'm sorry about what I said earlier. You caught me at a very bad time."

"You're forgiven" Rarity said on behalf of her friends. Sleipnir Laid down by Celestia's bed.

"So, Sleipnir. Why do you have eight legs?" Twilight asked as she conjured some parchment and a quill. Sleipnir shrugged. "Okay. Why don't you have a cutie mark?" Twilight asked after scribbling something down on her paper.

"A what?" Sleipnir said.

"You know. That special marking somepony gets on their flank when they find their special talent?" Twilight said. Sleipnir was silent for a moment.

"Is it some kind of cultural thing?" Sleipnir said. Rainbow Dash facehoofed.

"You don't even know how ponies get cutie marks do you?" She said.

"No." No Sleipnir replied.

"When a pony finds their special talent, they magically gain their cutie mark." Twilight explained.

"Well. That explains it. I'm clearly not a pony." Sleipnir said.

"Then what are you? A donkey?" Rainbow said.

"I'm a horse." Sleipnir clarified.

"A horse? Is that some kind of big, eight legged pony?" Rainbow Dash asked. Sleipnir facehoofed.

"No, Rainbow. It's a larger and older version of our kind." Celestia said.

"Thank you, Celestia." Sleipnir said.

"That doesn't explain a lot." Twilight said.

"These 'cutie marks 'are only as old as your kind. I'm far older than even Celestia." Sleipnir said.

"What!?! Impossible!  No one Is older than Celestia!" Rainbow Dash blurted.

"Actually, he is." Celestia said. The girls were shocked to hear this.

"Really?" Twilight asked.

"Yes." Sleipnir said in a rather annoyed manner.

"Well, if you don't have any more questions about me, I would like to have a nap." Sleipnir said. When the girls Left he passed right out. Celestia sighed and placed the heavy oaf on the bed. Than she resumed her normal schedule. She was annoyed by his rude habits, but for now there was nothing she could do about the eight legged oaf's ridiculous habits. she left the room. Sleipnir made his move and began carefully searching for his leverage. Despite having tried everything, he stillhad nothing for his efforts. This pissed sleipnir off to no end. This was bullshit! She had to have SOMETHING embarrassing. He tried tipping and looking behind the paintings. But still, his search was in vain. He despised Celestia and her ability to conceal things. He laid back down on the bed and went to sleep. Later, after she set the sun, Celestia entered the room. Sleipnir was still asleep. Celestia didn't know what to do with him. He was in her bed after all. She decided to climb in after several hundred failed attempts to wake Seipnir up.

"Goodnight, Sleipnir." Celestia said. Sleipnir mumbled something that sounded like 'goodnight' to her.

Celestia woke up cuddling something big and soft.

"Um... Celestia? Can you, you know, stop cuddling me?" Sleipnir said. Celestia screamed and fell off the bed. Sleipnir got out and had already began stretching. Suddenly a guard burst in.

"I heard a commotion! Are you alright, Princess?" the Guard said.

"Yes. It was just a bad dream." Celestia said.

"Are you sure?" The guard asked eyeing Sleipnir suspiciously.

"I am sure." Celestia assured the guard.

"Very well." He said. Then he left. Sleipnir walked over to Celestia.

"You alright?" Sleipnir asked.

"I'll be fine." Celestia said.

"If you say so." Sleipnir said. "What's for breakfast?" Sleipnir asked, dropping The Voice of Asgard.

"What happened to your voice?" Celestia asked.

"I just dropped the fake accent." Sleipnir said.

"Wait. That wasn't your real voice?" Celestia asked.

"Nope. Just a fake one I have to use when in public." Sleipnir said.

"I see." Celestia said.

"Now, about breakfast. I'm hungry." Sleipnir said. Then the two set off for the dining hall, greeting Luna and The Elements of Harmony, the latter having been given guest rooms, on the way and letting them join them. The others, sans Twilight and Celestia still didn't trust sleipnir. Frankly, Sleipnir didn't give a fuck if they trusted him or not. He was getting out of this mess by any means necessary. Once he was free, they would never catch him again. No one changes sleipnir. Not even Celestia.

Sleipnir the honey badger

The group arrived at the dinning hall and sat down while waiting for breakfast to be served. Luna gave Sleipnir a weary glance as did Rainbow Dash. Sleipnir returned their glances with one of his own. Not stupid, Celestia decided to break up the tension between the two parties.

"So, how are you all doing today?" Celestia asked. She was met with several 'good's 'great's and 'Fine's. Sleipnir chose this moment to ask a very important question.

"What's with the forks?" Sleipnir asked. Every one in the room looked at him like he grew a third eye.

"You're joking, right Sleipnir?" Celestia asked.

"I shit you not." Sleipnir said. Rainbow facehoofed

"You use it to eat. Don't you have 'em in Valehall or wherever?" She said. If looks could kill, Rainbow would have been in the epicenter of an explosion that would put the world's most powerful nuke to shame. She was visibly sweating under his glare.

"It's Valhalla! You would be wise to remember that. Besides, I eat out of a trough anyway." Sleipnir said.

"That's horrible!" Twilight said.

"Actually, it just means I have a reason to eat like an animal." Sleipnir said grinning.

"You take pride in that? You really are as strange as they said." A new voice said. Everyone looked at the new comer.

"BBBFF!" Twilight almost yelled. She ran over to Shining Armor and gave him a big hug. Sleipnir looked at the display and thought nothing of it. He glared at his empty plate for a few minutes. Finally, the servant brought out several dishes. For Rainbow, Rarity, and Fluttershy: finely prepared Cesar Salads made from the finest ingredients in the land. For Celestia, Luna, Shining, and Twilight: their salads came with a side of eggs. Applejack's salad came with a side of freshly sliced apples. Pinkie had a plate of cupcakes. Finally, Sleipnir's breakfast was served: hay bacon and eggs and a salad. Sleipnir viciously attacked his greasy bacon with much gusto. Once finished, he renewed his assault with his eggs. A servant quickly gave him some juice so he didn't choke on his food. He downed the juice in record time and moved on to the salad. Everyone watched in awe as the starving stallion mauled his salad. After his salad gave way to plate, Sleipnir let loose a mighty belch.

"Have some manners, Sleipnir! Excuse you!" Rarity said. The look Sleipnir gave her looked something like this. In fact, Twilight could have sworn she saw the word 'NO' nearby. Regardless, Rarity was having none of it. Shining wasn't sure who to feel more sorry for; Sleipnir, for having Rarity nagging at him, or Rarity, for being so ignorable to Sleipnir. Said stallion was staring off into space.

"So, Sleipnir. I heard you're not from around here. What's it like where you come from?" Shining asked.

"Nothing you really want to hear about." Sleipnir said as he returned his focus to this world.

"Come on. It can't be bad." Shining said.

"Considering how you treat me, it probably is." Sleipnir said.

"Then why do you want to go back?" Twilight asked.

"Let's see, my family is there, I live there, I can barley stand you all, but most importantly; I didn't ask for this." Sleipnir said.

"This is for your own good, Sleipnir." Celestia said.

"As you said countless times. If you need me, I'll be hopelessly lost in the halls." with that, Sleipnir left.

"Not much of a talker, is he?" Shining asked. An awkward silence descended over the room. The group ate in this silence. It was almost like Sleipnir took the energy of the room with him. After they finished with breakfast, Twilight got an idea.

"Princess, I think Sleipnir's not happy here." Twilight said.

"I think you may be on to something, Twilight." Celestia said.

"Well, I was thinking he would be more comfortable in more modest surroundings…" Twilight began. "So I say we bring him to Ponyville." She finished.

"That just might work." Celestia said. "Let's see what he thinks about it." She continued. After that, they set of to find Sleipnir.

Meanwhile, Sleipnir was mindlessly wandering around the castle. He found a stairwell going down. Once on the floor, he read the sign in front of the stairs.

"Authorized personnel only until further notice." It read.

"Shit!" Sleipnir whispered harshly. He checked his six and sighed with relief as there was no one behind him. He made his way through the halls, dodging the occasional tour group. After dodging a particularly large group, he poked his head around the corner t see if he was clear. He accidentally made eye contact with an orange filly with a purple mane. He quickly ducked back around the corner. He heard tiny hoofsteps coming his way. Sleipnir, in all his infinite wisdom, ducked into the first room he saw.

Scootaloo followed the stranger around the corner. There was a door on one side of the hall, but other than that, just fancy pots (one of which smelled really bad).

"Hello? Anyone here?" She asked, blissfully unaware of the god/horse behind the door. She had hoped to find a thief and become a hero or Something so she wouldn't get in as much trouble for being there without an adult (she had snuck in with a tour group). She normally could slip out of this place easily, but today it was like the palace was on lockdown. She just wanted to see her idol, Rainbow Dash.

"I'm in so much trouble." Scootaloo muttered.

”Maybe… Maybe not. Can you keep a secret child?" A voice asked. Scootaloo looked and saw sleipnir pressing a brick into the wall. "This will take you out of here. You never saw me, child." He said. Scootaloo left confused as to why this guy helped her. She didn't question it for long as she exited into an alley. She looked back at the tunnel as it shut. She had no clue what to do now. After much debate, she went back to the train station and slipped onto the first train to Ponyville.

Sleipnir watched the little one leave. She vaguely reminded him of himself. Gender bent, mortal, four-legged, winged, younger, differently colored, but still; she was different. He went back into the door which happened to lead to the wine cellar because; why not? It's not like Celestia would miss a gallon or two…

Celestia became Concerned about sleipnir as she, luna, and the Elements of Harmony began looking for him. They tried Everywhere on the upper floors. They all met back up at the dining hall.

"Anything?" Rainbow asked. She was met with a chorus of nopes.

"Wait, he might have found the wine cellar! He could be there!" Luna said.

"Well, let's go then!" Twilight said. With that, they headed to the wine cellar. When they arrived at the entrance to the wine cellar, they could faintly hear the distinct snoring of Sleipnir. They went in and found him on the floor, surrounded by empty wine bottles. Celestia was excellent at concealing her relief.

"Wake up, sleepyhead!" Rainbow said as she pulled out a marker. As soon as she popped off the top, sleipnir began to mumbled:

"N-no, Celestia. N-not the whip." Sleipnir rolled over away from the pop. Everyone looked at Celestia like she was some kind of molester. Her face was of equal shock and horror. Suddenly Sleipnir woke up.

"Cornflakes!" Sleipnir said quickly as he woke up.

"What happened to your voice?" Rainbow asked.

"He uses fake accaccent when in public." Celestia explained. Sleipnir spotted the marker in Rainbow's

"You wernt weren't planning on using that marker on me were you?" Sleipnir inquired.

"What marker?" Rainbow said quickly hiding it behind her back. Sleipnir stood up and began his ritual stretching. For the life of her, Celestia could never figure out why he did that.

"What were you doing down here, sleipnir?" Luna asked. Sleipnir looked at a bottle, then to luna, then the bottle, then back to luna, then repeated this for a minute.

"What do you think?" Sleipnir retorted. Everypony facepalmed.

"Let's get you back upstairs." Celestia said. She teleported them all back to the dining hall.

"Well, I'm taking a nap." Sleipnir said.

"Let me show you to your room, Sleipnir." Celestia said as her coat dulled and her mane lost all its colors except for pink. She led Sleipnir to a room she had for moments like these. Sleipnir stepped into the room followed by Celestia. Celestia closed the door and giggled crazily. "So... Are you a vergin? Or do you have some experience?" Molestia asked in a suggestive tone. Sleipnir's proportionally massive pupils shrank to relative pinpricks. Two guards outside the room could hear a whinny, followed shortly by the sounds of a horse attempting to escape the room by breaking down the walls. After several minutes of this, Sleipnir burst through the door and sped down the hall. Molestia stood in the door way and watched Sleipnir speed off. She licked her lips. "Soon…" she said.

She went back into the room and closed the door.

A mile in foreign boots

Sleipnir was sure he had lost her. He hit the metaphorical brakes. He ground to a halt in front of Rainbow Dash. He did a power slide to the right as his fire trail caught up to him. The fire swept around him to his left, making his stop even more epic. He stared off into space in an epic way.

"That, was… awesome!" Rainbow exclaimed. Sleipnir was pulled from his fantasy. He looked at Rainbow and saw she was dangerously close to his stopping point.

"What the hell?!? Don't stand in front of me! Do you know how dangerous that is?" Sleipnir asked.

"When did you care?" Rainbow asked.

"Since I found it very difficult to explain why there is a burnt corpse in the hall." Sleipnir was not in the mood to explain this to her.

"Whatever. That was awesome what you did. Where did you learn to do that?" Rainbow asked.

"It just comes naturally to me." Sleipnir bragged.

"There you are, sleipnir. I've been looking for you." Twilight said as she came around the corner.

"What do you want?" Sleipnir asked.

"I was just wondering if you would like to come to Ponyville. I noticed that you haven't been happy here, so I was thinking that you might be more comfortable in more modest surroundings. Since Ponyville is the nicest town around, what do you say?" Twilight said. Sleipnir's attention was focused on a shadow in the hall. He caught something about going to Ponyville.

"Uh... Sure, sure." Sleipnir said.

"Great! I'm sure Rarity will be generous enough to let you live at her place for until you get on your feet." Twilight said.

"And how long will that take?" Sleipnir asked.

"Months. Probably even years!" Twilight said. Sleipnir's face paled.

"Years?" Sleipnir said. His voice was shaky. "I don't want to be a burden on such a fine mare." Sleipnir said in a panicked voice.

"Oh, it's no trouble at all. I insist." Rarity said from behind.

"Oh, no. I would be too much of a burden. A fine mare such as yourself shouldn't have to deal with the likes of me." Sleipnir said.

"It would be rude of me not to help someone in need. It would be my pleasure. I am the Element of  Generosity after all." Rarity said.

"Let me sleep under the stars, I insist." Sleipnir insisted.

"I don't know, Sleps. We kinda had some problems with the rain machines last week and we have to make up for it at night this week." Rainbow said.

"I'll make it." Sleipnir said.

"Fine if you wish. But if you change your mind my offer is still open." Rarity said. Sleipnir would rather not accept the offer.

"So when do we leave?" Sleipnir asked.

"When we inform Celestia." Twilight said. Speak of the devil. Celestia rounded the corner. Sleipnir did a fine job at concealing his terror.

"Inform me about what?" She asked.

"Sleipnir's fine with going to Ponyville." Twilight said.

"Excellent." Celestia said. Her smile grew but her eyes showed her well concealed sorrow.

"So when do we get moving?" Sleipnir asked.

"When we get all the Elements here." Celestia said.

"So why don't we go find them and meet up at the dining hall in one hour?" Sleipnir asked.

"A-Actually, we're all ready here." Fluttershy said. Low and behold, she and the remaining Elements were standing right there.

"Great. Let's get on with this." Sleipnir said. Then Celestia led the group out of the hall. She informed her sister that they were going to Ponyville.

As Sleipnir and his present company made their way to the train station, Sleipnir got quite a few looks thrown his way. He had no clue what to do about them, so he ignored them. When he got to the station, he saw a familiar orange filly slip onto the same train he was boarding. Twice now he had seen her and now he was beginning to question if it was coincidence. But what the hell? He had nothing to fear. On the train, he sat in an empty car, so he only had the Elements with him. Pinkie was rambling about some party he didn't want to attend, Rainbow was bragging about all her fancy tricks, Rarity was going on about mannerisms and what not, Twilight was questioning why he had eight legs, Applejack dared to question his honesty. If he did get a chance to kill someone and have it look like an accident, he'd use it on her. Fluttershy wasn't pissing him off because she was cowering in a corner. How he would survive this ride would be a mystery.

"So last week I pulled the most amazingly awesome stunt ever." Rainbow said.

"Don't care." Sleipnir said. He stood up and walked over to the same end as Fluttershy. "Mind if I sit here?" Sleipnir asked.

"I-I don't mind." Fluttershy stammered. Sleipnir sat down as the train chugged along. Fluttershy decided now would be a great time to ask questions. "S-so Sleipnir, what's y-your family like? I-if you don't mind me asking, that is." Fluttershy asked.

"The easiest way I can explain it is they are the most chaotic and dysfunctional family in existence." Sleipnir explained. He heard the scribbling of notes right next to him. He gave Twilight his infamous hyper-nuke glare. Twilight decided to continue her dangerous path and ask some questions.

"So why do you confide in Fluttershy, but not the rest of us?" She inquired. Sleipnir's hyper-nuke glare was put to great shame by the glare he was giving Twilight Sparkle.

"This is not a therapy session, Twilight!" Sleipnir shouted.

"That was mean." The aforementioned mare said.

"Well, I have a problem with therapists." Sleipnir said as Twilight scribbled down more notes. Finally the train stopped at the station. Sleipnir and company stepped out on to the platform. Sleipnir tucked four of his legs under himself so nobody could see them. The looks he got were not as bad. Now all he had to do was find a bridge to live under while he built his home. Sure, it wasn't the greatest plan he thought up, but it was better than being stuck with that nag, Rarity.

"Well, Sleipnir. I have someone I want you to meet." Twilight said.

"Let's just get this over with." Sleipnir said. With that, they set off for the library.

building without a hammer

Sleipnir and his companions moved through town. Despite the looks Sleipnir got, they passed without any trouble. As they walked, they shifted formation several times. By the time they got to the library, Sleipnir was stuck next to Rarity. He was locked in place by the crowd, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. They entered the library in this formation and Fluttershy closed the door. Sleipnir allowed his legs to drop. He gave them a stretch as Twilight called down her assistant. Sleipnir had absolutely no clue why she'd want to introduce him to anyone, so he walked to the far side of the room. Out of boredom, he began to browse through the books. After a Few seconds, Spike came down. Spike took a good look at Sleipnir. Never before had he seen anything like the stallion before him.

"Whoa. Who are you?" Spike asked. Sleipnir let Twilight do the talking. She cleared her throat and began to introduce them:

"Spike, this is Sleipnir. Celestia asked us to help him." Sleipnir didn't give any indication that he was paying attention.

"What kind of name is Sleipnir?" Spike asked. Sleipnir gave no indication that he cared.

"Is sleipnir a mute or something? Doesn't seem to talk much." Spike said.

"I'm not a mute, I just don't want to talk to you." Sleipnir clarified.

"What's wrong with talking with me?" Spike inquired.

"Because for this week I'm going to sleep under a bridge. If you have a shovel, I may have to borrow it come week's end." Sleipnir said.

"Now hold on a minute. Why would ya need tools?" Applejack asked him.

"To build. Why else would I need them?" Sleipnir asked. Applejack said nothing.

"Alright. Fair enough I suppose." Applejack said. Sleipnir returned his attention to the impressive collection of unimpressive books. He didn't trust them and vice versa. He began to mentally exit reality, only to be drawn back in again by Twilight.

"So, what are you going to do now? You'll need a plot of land to build. We can go see the mayor if you want to." She said. Sleipnir weighed his options. If he went; he'd have to sign a lot of paperwork. If he stayed; he'd have nowhere to build. Choices, choices.

"Why not." He said finally.

"Great! Let's go!" Twilight said. Her enthusiasm never failed to amuse Sleipnir. So they began the trip to the Mayor's office.

The group made their way to the mayors office. In the moments before they arrived the mayor got a message from the princes notifying her of Sleipnir's official integration and rights of citizenship. Sleipnir would be required to sign the document though. The mayor read through the document one more time.

Name: Sleipnir

Race: Horse

Sex: Male

Coat: Light-grey/w dark-grey spots

Mane: Dark-grey

Height: 6' 8"

Weight: 1,332 lbs

Just then The mayor's secretary came in:

"Ma'am, the Elements are here to see you." The secretary said.

"Send them in." She said. The secretary left and the elements and their charge came in a few seconds after. The mayor was left gawking at the height of this stallion. She looked at the paper, then back to Sleipnir.

"Sleipnir, I presume?" She said.

"Yes. I take it you need me to sign something?" he said.

"Um. Yes. Sign here please." She said as she handed him the document. Sleipnir signed his name in strange runes nobody else had ever seen before.

"So, I believe that's not all you came her for. Can I help you?" She asked politely.

"Yes, I'm looking for a lot to build a house on. Are their any for sale?" Sleipnir inquired.

"Yes, There is a small lot available, in the meadow near the bridge to Fluttershy's house. There's a tree out there, but that's about it." The mayor said.

"That will work. How much will it cost?" Sleipnir asked the mayor.

"One hundred bits." She said.

"That seems fair. Shame I have no money." Sleipnir said.

"I could lend you some." Rarity said. Sleipnir's surprise was evident.

"You certainly live up to your title, Rarity. Thank you." Sleipnir chuckled.

"Oh, don't mention it. T'was my pleasure." She said.

"Great. I'll need you to sign the deed though." The mayor said, reaching under her desk. Sleipnir signed, and Rarity paid. They set off shortly after closing the deal. They made their way to the plot of land Sleipnir now owned. Rainbow decided to spark up a conversation:

"So Sleps, who's the coolest guy you can think of?" Sleipnir pondered this question. Most of his answers were within his family.

"I would have to say... My uncle Thor." Sleipnir answered.

"Who's Thor?" Rainbow asked.

"The God of Thunder." Sleipnir said. Rainbow burst out laughing. Sleipnir was inches from brutally murdering her. Sleipnir gave her a quick punch on the shoulder.

"Ow. What was that for?" Rainbow asked.

"Insulting my family." He said with more venom in his tone was more potent than that of the snake above Loki's head. His disinterested scowl came back a few seconds later. The group approached the lot Sleipnir now owned. There was a tree as promised. There were also posts with orange tape blowing in the wind around the perimeter. The lot was a single square acre of land.

"Not too shabby." Sleipnir commented. That week would be spent planing out his abode. Sleipnir's education was mostly self-education he did in his vast amounts of free time recent events had given him. He wasn't a master architect, but he could build a basic house that could for last many years. All he needed was some time to plan it out, a few tools, and his knowledge to build it and he was set for quite a while, just long enough to find something to blackmail Celestia with.

Long Night of Solace

Sleipnir tapped his chin pondering what type of house to build. Within several moments of pondering and planing, He came down to a simple long house partially below ground with a dirt roof to help retain heat in the colder months. Sleipnir smiled as he figured his course of action. He turned to his companions and said:

"Do any of you have extra fence posts I can borrow?"

"Ah've got 'bout four. Why?" Applejack inquired.

"To mark the actual building area." Sleipnir answered.

"Ah'll be back" Applejack said as she turned to go get the required four posts. Sleipnir walked over to the tree and laid down under it to stare off into space. The girls waited with him under the tree, occasionally trying to spark a conversation. About an hour had passed when Applejack returned with the four fence posts Sleipnir asked for.

"Well, here ya are." Applejack said.

"Thanks. I'll be sure to return them once I've begun working on my house at the end of the week." Sleipnir said as he took the posts and walked about his lot placing them in a rectangle forty feet long and ten and a half feet wide. He smiled and walked to the bridge. Pinkie pop up right in front of Sleipnir. He seemed surprised solely by suddenness of the action rather than the action itself. Given his mother, not much can.

"Can I help you?" Sleipnir asked.

"You never said if you'd like a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party!" Pinkie said.

"That's probably because I don't." Sleipnir said. Pinkie's mane flattened and he coat dulled.

"But... But, Why?" She asked.

"I can barely stand you. What makes you think I can stand the other sops in this town?" Sleipnir asked.

"Oh." Pinkie said, disheartened. Twilight was startled by the decisiveness of Sleipnir's words. Was it possible one of the scars of his past caused him to be a loner?

"Are you sure you don't wanna pinkie party? They're really fun ya know." Rainbow said, not wanting Pinkie to have a... moment.

"Positive." Sleipnir clearly didn't have any clue what he was doing with his words.

"It's all right Pinkie. Maybe It's just because he doesn't have a place yet. I'm sure you can throw him a party once he's done building his house." Twilight said hoping to avoid another 'one mare party' moment. While the elements tried to comfort Pinkie, Sleipnir walked away to check out the bridge.

Later on that day, Sleipnir was passed out in the makeshift camp under the bridge. The sun was beginning to set, and a certain orange filly was heading to her secret hideout under the bridge. She hid her scooter in the bushes. She was somewhat scared once she saw the familiar grey stallion sound asleep. She remained still for a few minutes. After She decided he wasn't waking up any time soon she decided to sleep behind a few boxes of cans she had. The following morning, much to Scootaloo's relief, Sleipnir was still asleep. He didn't plan on waking up for the duration of the week.

The next night, Luna decided to visit Sleipnir's dreams and perhaps undermine him in this manner. Luna's 'phantom' approached a white dream cloud hovering above Sleipnir. She entered his dream expecting some kind of war zone. Instead, she saw him as a colt enjoying his youth running around and eating butterflies. He was in a small pasture built for him. Two strange entities were discussing something just outside. A large gathering hall sat obscuring his view of it's far side. It was his childhood memories. Luna could only wonder what horrible events led to him being so bitter. She watched the scene. The younger looking entity looked over to the colt. It said:

"Sleipnir, don't eat those. You'll give yourself a tummy-ache."

"Okay mom." Sleipnir replied. This caught Luna off guard. This thing was neither his own kind, nor female. She would have to ask about that. She left the dream deciding to bring it up at a later point.

Later at the end of the week, Sleipnir woke to the sound of rustling bushes. He looked at the source and saw the orange filly trying to remove her scooter. He walked up to her.

"Need some help, Child?" He asked. She responded with an eep.

"Uh... Nope! Just... Uh... Fell off the bridge!" She lied. Sleipnir slowly blinked.

"You're a terrible liar."

"Please don't tell anyone." She begged. Sleipnir said nothing and yanked the scooter out of the bush.

"Be lucky it was me that found you." He said as he handed her the scooter. He walk to his lot. He sat around till high noon before the girls arrived.

Pinkie had recovered from her near incident and Spike brought a shovel.

"Hey Sleps. Brought a shovel you can borrow." Spike said.

"It's Sleipnir. I don't like nicknames. I thank you for the shovel, though." Sleipnir responded as he took the shovel and began to dig.

The digging part took about four hours on account of his need to keep all the dirt in a massive pile for ease of access. To speed the slow process, Sleipnir began to hum a tune he heard once. Rarity didn't like the pile of dirt still growing.

"Not to be rude, darling, but why are you keeping all the dirt in one large pile?" She asked.

"I'm going to use it for roofing. It's a great heat trap. Speaking of roofs; Applejack? Do you have a logging ax I may borrow?" Sleipnir asked still digging.

"Shoot. Ah've got some scrap-wood and a saw you can use." She said as Sleipnir finished digging.

"I will need to level the floor. If you could get the wood while I do that, I would be grateful." Sleipnir said. He began the meticulous and tedious task of leveling the floor using a glass jar as a makeshift bubble level. Apparently, ponies never invented the bubble level so twilight was going nuts over the idea of it.

"This completely revolutionizes the building industry! You have to tell me where you got this brilliant idea!" Twilight rambled.

"Bubble levels." Sleipnir said not even removing himself from his work.

"What?"

"Bubble levels. The idea's from a long dead race called humans." Silence reigned.

Applejack returned with the wood. She had to respect Sleipnir's work ethics if nothing else.

"Ah brought wood." Applejack announced as she returned. At least she trusted Sleipnir more than Rainbow Dash did.

"Thank you." Sleipnir then moved on to the actual building of his home as the sun finally began to set. He continued driving the wall posts and the main roof posts into the ground all through the night. Once done and with midnight still approaching he began to nail the boards in. He filled the wall gaps with dirt to close them. Once finished with the walls, he made the roof itself and covered it in thick layers of dirt. He had left a doorway a ramp to the halfway below ground door. Once finished with his house, He installed stairs. He looked at the building in the early morning twilight. He had enough wood to install a floor, but he would need hinges for a door. That was a task for later, seeing his lack of local business knowledge.