Equestria Girls: Sunset On My Heart
Equestria Girls: Sunset On My Heart
“Mother! Is it bed time yet!? Is it!?” A young filly’s squeal cut through the dimly lit living room, illuminated solely by the fire crackling in the fireplace at the far end. The filly’s hooves were click-clacking against the polished stone floor as she hopped back and forth in place, unable to stand still with excitement and sugar pulsing through her veins. “I wanna go to bed! I wanna go to bed right now!”
The filly’s mother just let out a soft laugh and stood from her book to approach the young filly. “We’ll go to bed soon enough, Sunset Shimmer. But it’s still early yet, and there’s more to Hearth’s Warming Day than getting up in the morning and opening your presents.”
“There is!?” Little Sunset’s eyes widened sharply. “Wait, of course there is! There’s also getting cookies!”
Her mother laughed openly and slipped a hoof around her shoulder, nudging her towards the rug in the center of the room, on which a book and a pillow sat. “Well yes, there is that, but there’s also enjoying the love of home, friends, and family.”
“Huh? What does that mean?” Sunset Shimmer cocked her head to one side as her mother pushed her over to the rug and laid her down on the floor.
“Don’t worry about it sweetie. For now, how about I read you this Hearth’s Warming tale? I bet you’ll really like it. There are cookies.”
“Oh yay!” Sunset plopped eagerly onto her stomach, staring at the words of the book, though she couldn’t read them. Her mother settled down comfortably on the carpet right behind her, her warmth covering the filly like a soothing blanket as she reached around her to lift the book from the floor in front of her.
“One day there was a young filly, who wanted very much for Hearth’s Warming Day to come…”
___
Sunset Shimmer’s eyes blinked open, in a different time, in a different body. She always felt like she was dreaming when she woke up here in this human world. Her hooves replaced with hands and feet, her coat replaced with this strange bare flesh. She hadn’t thought about what it was like to be a little filly in a long time… not since she’d lost that life and became Celestia’s private pupil. With stars in her eyes and dreams for the top, she’d taken to her studies with passion.
And now look at her. She sat up slowly, letting the blanket fall from her bare chest so she could take a look around. She was sitting alone in a small two-room apartment near Canterlot High School, a decently well-kept apartment with more than enough room for a single occupant like herself. It was big enough, and warm enough, but somehow she felt like there was something wrong as she glanced around at the sparse furnishings.
She didn’t bother with any more than the essential furniture. She was only here temporarily, after all. Soon enough her plan would be put into action, and she would return to Equestria to take her rightful place at Celestia’s side… or on her throne, if need be.
The wind was howling against the windows as Sunset Shimmer showered and dressed for the day. That night with her mother, on the first Hearth’s Warming Eve she could remember stuck in her mind. It bothered her more than she could even admit to herself, why was she stuck on that? She was a grown mare now. She had more important things to worry about.
Like school, for instance. If her plan was going to go off without a hitch she needed to blend in until the time was right. Of course, blending and avoiding attention was never her style. Controlling the school and making sure nobody would oppose her when the time came would work well enough, though. She almost felt like she owned the building as her path through the snow carried her up to the large double doors on the front of Canterlot High School.
The other students watched her with a mixture of admiration and fear as she passed, which was exactly what she wanted to see. Nobody would mess with her, nobody would question her. She’d spent her entire time here studying these humans to learn about them, and she knew that once the portal was opened, controlling them would be an almost ridiculously simple matter.
“Happy Hearth’s Warming!” Sunset’s gaze was ripped from the hallway by a group of teenagers making their way through the halls, singing obnoxiously and waving their hands around like they were trying to ‘raise the roof’ or whatever the idiots in this world thought was cool. The sound of the carols only made her want to punch something even harder than she usually did…
She whirled towards the carolers with her hands cupped around her mouth. “Happy Hearth’s Warming? How about Happy Shut The Hell Up Before I come Over There Eve!” Without waiting for a response she marched quickly away through the now-silent hallways, pushing past the stunned looks of the other students and into one of the more empty hallways. Screaming and ranting wasn’t her style… she must have been in a worse mood than she thought.
“Gah!” Sunset Shimmer flailed out of her thoughts when her foot suddenly slammed into something that squeaked and kept her foot from catching her. Her body tumbled to the floor over what seemed to be a little yipping puppy, which darted out from under her straight to a student nearby.
“Oh my goodness! Wynona! Where did you go?” Fluttershy plucked the puny puppy off of the floor and clutched it in her arms. “How did you get out of my bag? You know better than to run off, you could trip some… one…” Fluttershy trailed off when she saw Sunset just picking herself up off the floor. “Oh… m-my… Sunset Shimmer… I’m so… s-so sorry…”
Fluttershy shrank back against the locker behind her, clutching the puppy to her chest tighter as Sunset approached with her white-knuckled fists against her sides.
“What in the Hell do you think you’re doing, Fluttershy? Letting that bitch run around in the hallways getting in my way? Do you really think that’s a smart move?”
“N-no…” Fluttershy squeaked.
“That’s right! It’s not!” Sunset’s fist slammed into the locker right beside Fluttershy’s head. The metal rang out across the hallway and Fluttershy immediately sank to her butt on the floor, stammering in fright.
“P-please, I’m sorry, sh-she got away from me, honest, I would never mean to get in your way…”
Sunset snarled. “Well let’s see that it doesn’t happen again! Or Principal Celestia may just find out why your book bag is squirming all the time!”
“O-okay…” Fluttershy shivered. “I promise it won’t. Please don’t tell Principal Celestia about my animals…”
“Then get lost! And take the bitch with you!” Sunset jerked her finger down the hallway. Fluttershy obediently scrambled to her feet and raced down the hallway away from her, not looking back before she rounded the corner to disappear down the hall.
Sunset took a deep breath to calm down, but noticed for the first time a dull throbbing sensation in her right hand. She looked down at it to see her knuckles cracked and bloodied from the impact on the locker, where there was a small speck of blood sitting on the dull metal.
She cupped her knuckle in her left hand suddenly, and whirled to march toward the girls’ bathroom. Great, how stupid was that? And for what? To intimidate Fluttershy? She could have stuck her tongue out and scared the girl halfway to the moon. Why did she go and have to hurt herself? Now she was going to be hurting for several days and miss class while she took care of the wound. What the heck was wrong with her?
She pushed her way into the girls’ bathroom to wash the blood off of her hand, taking some paper towels to dry and hold the wound. It was worse than she’d thought; it would probably be a good idea to go to the nurse’s office. She wouldn’t make herself do that, though. She hated admitting she needed help from anybody, especially someone who was trained to help her. Someone who would treat her like a child…
She wasn’t a child anymore, and she didn’t need help.
“Hello? Are you okay?” A voice exclaimed suddenly. Sunset looked up in surprise to see a boy watching her from the doorway. She recognized him quickly as the guitarist for one of the local bands in school, Flash Sentry.
“Did you just barge into the girls’ bathroom to ask me that?” Sunset narrowed her eyes.
“I thought the trail of blood leading up to the door warranted a little indiscretion.” Ignoring her glare, Flash Sentry pushed his way into the bathroom, reaching out to take her towel-wrapped hand in his own. “Geeze, what happened?”
“Nothing happened, now let go of me, pervert.” Sunset tried to pull her hand away, but his grip on her wrist didn’t loosen as he unwrapped the paper towel.
Flash shook his head and clicked his tongue. “You did a terrible job cleaning it, and you need some disinfectant. Here, I think I have some.”
Flash lowered her hand back under the water, the sting of the cold water making her grit her teeth as his fingers brushed over the splits on her knuckles, washing away what remained of the dirt and grime. She watched him work as he produced a small bottle of clear liquid, gently brushing it over the top of the bloody cracks in her skin, then taking out a small white bandage to wrap around her palm and knuckles.
Sunset jerked her hand back once his grip loosened enough for her to do so. “I didn’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t have to.” Flash Sentry turned to face her.
“What, you think you’re some kind of white knight?”
“I like to think of myself as a good samaritan.” Flash raised his hands to his sides and backed towards the door. “A white knight wouldn’t disappear once the deed is done; he’d take his damsel in his arms and make her swoon.”
“I don’t swoon.”
“I know what your reputation is, Sunset Shimmer.”
Sunset hesitated at that. “But you still helped me?”
“What can I say? Good samaritan in Hearth’s Warming season? I guess I couldn’t say no to my instincts. Be more careful, will you?” With that Flash Sentry ducked out of the bathroom.
Sunset looked down at her bandaged knuckle. The pain was quickly beginning to fade, replaced by a dull stiffness that would likely last for a while. Hearth’s Warming season, huh? She hadn’t celebrated Hearth’s Warming Day since she’d begun her lessons with Princess Celestia. Every day had been a grind of spellcasting and training, working to become as good as she knew she could be, and that day was no different. Still…
“Hey, wait up.” Sunset pushed her way out of the bathroom, quickly spotting Flash headed down the hallway and rushing to catch up with him. “Why do you know how to treat skin wounds anyway? And why carry around a bottle of disinfectant?”
“You ever play guitar without a pick?” Flash accepted her company with a smooth smile. “You either learn to treat your own wounds or hurt for days on end. I prefer to learn.”
“Nothing wrong with learning. It’s how you prepare for the future.”
“Speaking of learning, we’re both going to miss the rest of our classes if we don’t hurry. Meet up again out front after school?”
Sunset thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. “I don’t have any other plans.”
___
Sunset didn’t get in trouble for missing her math class. Math was easily her best subject, being the only subject that was exactly the same here as it was in Equestria. History? English? Even Geology? She had to study just like everyone else or risk facing consequences that could compromise her future plans. Math? She slept through most of her classes, and got straight A’s on every piece of homework and test.
She’d been accused of cheating more than once, but nobody could prove it. She wouldn’t lower herself to the level of bothering to cheat on a school exam anyway, even if the answers weren’t child’s play for her. She was ambitious, but she did have some pride.
Her thoughts drifted away when she finally noticed Flash Sentry exiting the school, waving to some of the other teens as they went their own ways. He was late coming out, either he was a slacker or he wasn’t quite as lucky as she was to get away with skipping that class.
“Hey, there you are.” Flash gave her a smile as he approached, his hands finding their way into his jacket against the cold wind that blew through the small town. “I was wondering if you’d actually wait for me.”
“I always make good on my promises.” Sunset smirked slightly.
“I say we go get something warm. It’s supposed to start snowing tonight.” Flash turned to lead the way down the sidewalk. Sunset watched him for a moment, and then turned to follow, sticking her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. “You know of everyone I thought I might be spending the day with, you’re one of the last people I would have expected.”
Sunset snickered. “You really know how to sweet talk a girl.”
“As if sweet talk would work on you.”
“Touché. So what is your goal here if not sweet talking me?”
“Is regular talking out of the question?” Flash smiled. “I’ve always been curious about you, to be honest.”
“Curious about me?”
“You’re not like other girls. Not even a little bit. There’s something different… something special about you.”
Sunset’s eyebrow rose in interest now, moving up to walk beside him and giving him a searching look. “Oh yeah? What’s different about me?”
“If I knew that, I wouldn’t be curious.” Flash stopped outside the local coffee shop and pulled the door open, stepping aside to let Sunset shimmer go in first. “After you.”
Sunset gave him a long, piercing gaze, but she couldn’t coax anything more out of him no matter how hard she stared. So she took the offered entrance and went inside, leaving the bitter cold wind behind for a warm, but cozy shop.
It was only a few minutes before they left again, their hands clutching the piping hot styrofoam cup between both hands. Sunset had remained silent since they went inside, but now that they were alone outside again, she had a few more questions.
“You know my reputation, what everyone else thinks of me. Why would you even want to spend the day with me? No matter how mysterious you think I am.”
“I know your reputation, and I know what I see. Still, you’re mysterious and cute. No reason not to at least get to know you a little.”
Sunset wanted to grimace, but instead she felt a hot blush on her cheeks. Did this boy really just call her cute? She hadn’t been called cute in a very long time…
“Hey, are you okay? You’re shivering.” Flash’s eyes swept her body quickly.
Sunset looked down at herself, realizing suddenly that she was shivering quite furiously. Her exposed legs underneath the skirt could feel the cold creeping up and continuing right up her spine. Curse these apes and their lack of fur; she would hardly even notice weather like this as a pony. Now she felt like her legs were going to freeze solid.
“So you’re not invincible.” Flash moved up in front of her, wrapping his jacket around her already-jacketed shoulders. It helped keep her torso a little warmer, but did little for her bare legs. “I was starting to think you were a badass robot.”
“If I was invincible I wouldn’t have gotten a bloody hand earlier…” Sunset pointed out.
“Details,” Flash smiled. “Come on, I’ll get you home and warm, if you’ll lead the way.”
“I can get there alone.”
“But do you want to? It’s up to you.” Flash smiled a smug, sly smile that Sunset wanted to punch from his lips, and yet she kind of liked at the same time. He wasn’t the wuss everyone else was, but he wasn’t pushy enough to piss her off. Hanging out with him was the most fun she’d had since she’d come to this wasteland of a universe.
Sunset spoke after a moment’s hesitation as she turned to march toward her small apartment just two blocks from the school. “Are you coming or not?”
Flash slipped into step right behind and to the right of her. “Right behind you… or close enough.”
Geeze, he was kind of a dork… but then, so was she.
They reached her apartment quickly and Sunset fumbled with the keys as she tried to get the door open. As the sun got lower it only made it harder to focus, and by now the cold was sweeping all other thoughts aside. She just wanted to get inside where the goose bumps on her legs would fade. Flash simply stood aside without taking the keys from her, watching her fumble until she finally joined key and lock, and pushed the door open.
She marched inside, suddenly realizing just how cold it had gotten outside as she went from that into the warm, cozy interior of her apartment. It was small, but the heating worked just fine.
Sunset looked back over her shoulder. “You coming in or what?”
“Don’t need to ask twice.” Flash slipped into the apartment and closed the door behind them, shutting out the bitter wind. “This is a pretty swanky place.”
Sunset spoke through chattering teeth as she leaned down to rub her frozen knees with her palms. “Thanks. If you don’t mind, I’m gonna go slip into something warmer.”
“Don’t mind me, do what you gotta do.” Flash nodded and took a step back, so Sunset turned to head into the only other room in the apartment, which was the bedroom.
The door was left hanging open, as she never really had a reason to close it, and she was too eager to get on some pants and warm up a bit more. The air already felt pretty nice though as she pulled her chilly boots, skirt, and shirt off of her body, dropping them on the bed and approaching her small closet. If she didn’t have company she would be fine going without clothes like usual. The human nudity taboo was one of the silliest things about them, but she’d learned quickly that going without clothes caused way more trouble than it was worth in comfort. Besides, it really was still a bit chilly, even with the heat on.
As she picked through her small selection of clothing, Flash’s voice carried from the living room. “Hey, do you live here by yourself?”
Sunset replied thoughtlessly. “Uh-huh.” There was a momentary silence, followed by footsteps moving into her doorway. Sunset blinked and looked back in surprise, still wearing nothing but a pair of simple red panties, though he didn’t seem to notice.
His eyes met hers, with a look of mild concern. “Then where are your parents?” It was a simple question, but it made Sunset recoil slightly in shock. She’d never let anyone into her home since she’d gotten here, most people just assumed she lived with her parents since she was going to school. Damnit, was she about to be outed? This could royally screw up everything she’d been working for.
But then, maybe she could still work this out, if she played her cards right.
“Not… not here,” Sunset chose her words carefully. “I came alone to get a better education.”
“Oh…” Flash nodded slowly. “So you ended up at CHS? Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but it’s not exactly an internationally known school.”
“Better is relative.” She lowered her voice slightly. “There are certain goals I could only achieve in Canterlot…”
“I see, I see…” Flash nodded again, pursing his lips as he seemed to stare unblinking at her. She could practically see his train of thought derailing, thankfully for Sunset. She didn’t want to answer too many questions about her past. “So… are you a naturist?”
Sunset shook her head. “A what?”
“A naturist. You know, one of those people who believes that clothes are silly and unnecessary.”
Sunset blinked, then looked down at her almost-nude body. “Well, you’re not wrong. Ever since I transferred here I thought this whole ‘clothes mean decency’ thing was pretty ridiculous.”
Flash smiled with a pink blush on his cheeks. “Heh, that’s awesome. I’ve always thought it was a pretty cool philosophy, but I’ve never had the guts to try it, or even mention it to anyone.”
Sunset cocked one eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Well you mentioned it now. If you want you could join me.”
“R-really?” Flash’s eyes widened for a moment, then he cleared his throat into one hand. “Ahem, well… I guess it couldn’t hurt to try it for a while.”
Sunset crossed her arms over her stomach and leaned against the doorframe, eyeing him up with a teasing smirk. “Well? Go ahead.”
“Aheh… right, I’m coming.” Flash reached down to pull his clothes off quickly. Sunset watched with a curious, studying gaze. She’d never seen a male human’s bare body before, it was interesting how different they were. He was far less fleshy than she was, with skin pulled over muscle and bone, especially over his chest. He was a lot smaller too, she now realized. Without his somewhat baggy clothes he looked almost scrawny. A benefit to clothing she’d never considered before. He stopped when he was wearing nothing but a pair of blue boxer shorts.
“You know what I’d like now?” Sunset pushed away from the wall, approaching him to run a finger over his bare chest.
“Wh-what?” Flash stammered slightly.
“Mmmm….. pie.” Sunset moved past him toward the living room slash kitchen.
Flash was silent for a moment before turning to follow her. “Pie. Is. Awesome.”
The atmosphere was warm and quiet as the two of them settled down to eat some of the leftover apple cobbler Sunset Shimmer had in the small fridge. There wasn’t enough room for a table, so they nestled on the couch and talked as they ate. Flash Sentry, as it turned out, had been playing guitar for quite a few years now, but what he really wanted to do was be a police officer. There was an irony in there somewhere, Sunset was sure of it, but it didn’t really matter. Nobody in this world would be able to stop her.
Yet the more they talked the more her future plans faded into the back of her mind. For now there was only the two of them, this couch, and the remains of their pie that had long-since gone cold sitting on the coffee table beside them. She hadn’t enjoyed talking to someone this much… well, possibly ever. He had an infectious enthusiasm about him that really pulled her into everything he said, and when he asked her questions she found herself answering completely truthfully. Well, as truthfully as she could without exposing Equestria, of course.
“I spent most of my life studying under her…” Sunset shook her head as she leaned against the back of the couch, resting her chin on her hands and watching Flash. “I felt like I was really gonna go somewhere special… but the closer I got, the more it was all pulled away from me.”
“Then I guess it’s best you came here to start somewhere new.” Flash nodded. “If someone tells you that you can’t do something, there’s nothing to do but go around them and do it anyway.”
“Yes, yes exactly.” Sunset smiled, almost in admiration. She’d never met anyone who understood exactly what she was saying before. It was so nice to be able to speak without censoring herself or being careful about what came out of her mouth. “So I’m here looking out for a new path forward… my own way.”
“Well, if you need help with that you can ask me.” Flash gave her a boyish smile. “You’re not nearly as bad as your reputation made me think.”
Sunset chuckled with a somewhat wicked grin. “Maybe I’m just not that bad to you.”
“Then I count myself lucky to know the not-so-bad Sunset Shimmer.”
“Mmm…” Sunset’s grin faded into a smile as she watched him on the other side of the couch. He’d relaxed considerably since he’d taken his clothes off, sitting with his back in the corner of the sofa, no longer trying to hide anything from her like he did unconsciously at first. Since she’d gotten here she’d never been physically attracted to a human. They were so bulky and weirdly constructed, and yet he seemed to be growing more handsome even as she watched him. Besides, there was something about him…
“You have any plans for the evening?” Sunset Shimmer asked.
“Well going home was part of my plan… probably eating dinner.” Flash looked toward the front of the house, out the window beside the door. “Look, it’s the first snow of the season.”
Sunset glanced toward the window, seeing the white powder floating just past the frost-covered glass. “I’ve always liked snow…” Sunset Shimmer murmured as she slid herself forward on the sofa, closing the distance between them.
“What’s not to like about it? It’s soft and beautiful… like a white woman.” Flash finished quickly. Sunset turned her eyes back to him with one eyebrow raised, seeing a deep, apple-red blush on his cheeks. “That came out so totally wrong.”
“You look nervous again. You don’t have to be.” Sunset scooted right up beside him, resting one hand on his shoulder as she sat on the same cushion as him, so close their thighs touched. “I was actually wondering if you wanted to leave in the cold… or stay and make things warmer with me.”
Flash stared into her eyes, one of his hands moving out slowly to lightly touch her waist just above the hem of her panties. “I say… let it snow…” His hand tightened around her waist just slightly and he pulled her forward, letting her lean over his body to plant a firm kiss straight on his lips.
Sunset leaned into the electric sensations, letting her body rest against his as her arms wrapped around his torso. Their flesh pressed together as the kiss continued and the sweat began to form between them, but that was forgotten. Even the obvious signs of their arousal, both of which she could feel, were ignored as they lay together, exploring each other’s kiss and letting their hands roam and stroke one another.
Sunset straddled his waist on the sofa, pressing herself down against him, and giving herself better leverage to press them together. She could feel his arousal against her, more pronounced by the moment until she felt his hands circle around her waist, pulling her firmly down against his body.
A strangled moan deep in her throat was Sunset Shimmer’s signal of acceptance and pleasure…
___
“Fanks fer fe foobies mom.” Sunset Shimmer slurped around the mouthful of crumbly cookies, which were quickly washed down with a glass of milk levitated over by her horn.
“You’re welcome, cutie.” Her mother smiled from her position on the carpet nearby. “Happy Hearth’s Warming Day.” She spoke with a light enough tone, but there was something about her face that made even the little filly pause.
“Mom? Is everything okay?” Sunset asked.
Her mother shook her head slightly. “Your teachers tell me you’re not playing with the other students very much.”
“Feh…” Sunset huffed dismissively. “They all think I’m stupid. They’re the ones who are stupid…”
“I see…” Her mother rose from her spot on the carpet to approach the filly, lying down on the carpet beside her and slipping a hoof around her. “You should really try harder to get along with others, Sunset Shimmer. You need ponies with you, to help you.”
Sunset Shimmer shook her head furiously. “I don’t need help. I get all A’s, and I can make my own sandwiches.”
“Help in life, Sunny. Friends who can be there for you forever.”
“But that’s what you’re for.” Sunset smiled up at her. “I love you, mommy.”
Her mother stared down at her for a moment, then broke into a wide smile, with wet tears pushing at the corners of her eyes. “I love you too… and I’ll be here for as long as I ca-… for as long as you need me… but promise me that you’ll make some friends who can be there for you when I can’t.”
“But why wouldn’t you be there for me?” Sunset asked.
“Just promise me…” Her mother nuzzled her cheek softly. “When you need them… you’ll try to meet someone who can give you what you’re missing.”
“Okay, mommy… I promise…” Sunset wasn’t sure entirely what she meant, but she didn’t want to make her any more upset than she obviously was.
“Thank you, sweetheart…” Her mother nodded, then turned her gave up towards the window in front of them. “Hey, look… it’s snowing again…”
Sunset whirled away from her with a bright grin, staring up at the powder falling just past the window. “Yaaay!” She leapt out of her mother’s hoof and ran up to the window to watch it fall. “I love snow!”
Her mother spoke in a soft, wary voice. “I know, sweetheart… I love it too…”
___
The snow was still falling right outside the window. By now it had collected into a nice sheet of white that blanketed the lawns and streets, combined with the dark night to drown out most of the color that would usually be there. Her hand moved up slowly to wipe at her eyes, wiping away the rare tears that her fingers found there. The sound of Flash Sentry sleeping lightly on the sofa behind her was the only sound in the apartment. The rest of the night was deathly silent.
She raised her hand slowly, resting it on the cold window, for a moment seeing a tiny hoof pressing against it instead. It wasn’t the same… it wasn’t the same at all. Oh well… she did have fun with him, and she did like him, even if it did nothing to fill the strange void in her life. She felt like her mother had been trying to tell her how to fill it… but she just didn’t understand. She was spending the time with someone now, but it didn’t help.
No, she wouldn’t let herself dwell on it… she had to keep her eyes on the ultimate prize. She would find all the happiness she could want then.
Wiping away the last of her tears, Sunset Shimmer turned away from the window.
The End
Author's Note
If you stop and think about it, it really does beg a lot of questions that Sunset Shimmer knows nothing about friendship and yet had a boyfriend during her time at Canterlot High School. I'm not sure if it says more about her, Flash Sentry, or both of them. Makes one think maybe Flash Sentry isn't as country pure as he seems from the way he acted around Twilight. Of course I'm not saying he's a bad person, necessarily, but he could easily have more in common with Sunset Shimmer than Twilight Sparkle.
Also, Happy Hearth's Warming everypony, even if this story isn't very happy... why does everything I touch need to end badly?