I remember exactly why I did it but not if I thought it was a good idea. I didn't care about the long-term ramifications or who would object. I didn't stop asking when Twilight told me no until she caved and I feel awful for it. But part of it was going to be worth it. My life would be changed forever after that, and I had forgotten about my business for a moment. My dream to be a fashionista catering to the needs of many that wished to own one of my dresses. Maybe these fingers will help, but that's merely a consolation for me. I knew that I may have faced persecution had I attempted to try as a mere Unicorn.
But as a Dragon, I could try. I could take a leap of faith and let my heart dictate my actions, my choices and what I shall give up. My heart pounded in the coming days of preparation and I was wondering if it was the right thing to do. I merely found reassurance from those that I asked and questions directed towards me each with the same intent: To know if it was what I truly wanted.
My thoughts told me it was what I didn't want. To throw away everything I had set up. I was throwing away everything: The most beautiful unicorn in Equestria. And part of me was sad. I really wanted to hold onto that but some things require sacrifice. I knew he would always be alone and by doing this, I may be alone too, but it was worth it in the end. We could be alone together. The only two living in Equestria and when the time comes, maybe we can take our leave and travel the world.
I was told it would be painful going through the transformation. I had prepared to take all the pain that would follow. Twilight had asked me hundreds of times in the same manner I had asked her except it didn't end the same for her as it did for me. I bugged her until she agreed... yet her bugging me merely left me far more resolute than before.
Of course I demanded that nopony tell him. The whole reason I wanted to go through all of this and give up everything. I wanted nothing more than to return the favours that I owed him for his years of loyalty and service. So long has he had to watch me come home with someone I had pinned as my soulmate only to sit there and let me cry on his shoulder when it failed. He had to suffer through listening to me complain about not being able to find “the one” and saved me from drinking my sorrows alone.
It would have been more bearable had it not been for those eyes. They always watched me and since he met me, they always held a crush, instigated by my beauty. As he grew older, that crush developed into admiration and appreciation. He didn't fawn over me yet he always spoke words truthful and brutal. If I was acting out of line, he would always tell me. He would always give praise when just and not hold out on criticism of a dress just because I made it. He stopped trying to get involved with anything I did yet he always came strutting forward when I asked a favour.
He loved me and he didn't care if I dated other colts. He didn't care how many times I cried and complained. He always listened to me when I talked about a boy and bragged about them. I remember that there was pain in his heart as I told him these things. I never cared. I simply absorbed the love, praise and attention he gave me. It made me feel loved. It made me feel truly loved for the first time in ages. Even when the Nightmare took over and promised him exactly what he wanted... he refused it. He rejected his fantasy just for me.
If he could make such a sacrifice... if he could stay strong for me when I couldn't... when it's far, far beyond a point where he shouldn't, he still did. He did it for me. He let himself hurt for me and went out of his way to hurt in such a manner so that I wouldn't. And he always let himself take the fall.
If he could do that, I could do that for him. I could sacrifice all that I own for him. I could do it regardless of the protests of others. Regardless of what mother, father, Sweetie Belle, the girls... and even Princess Celestia says. I could do anything for him.
For Spike, I could become a Dragon. I could abandon my life as a Unicorn. Maybe I'll be five times larger, or maybe I'll be as small as he is. Even if I have to wait a hundred years for him to be my equal, I was going to wait. I was going to wait thousands of years if I had to. Yet to my surprise, the response wasn't what I had thought.
“Rarity, is there any way you could return to being a Unicorn?”
Just one question was all it took to make me question what it was I had done. To stop and think what it was I had given up. And why is it the question reached my mind this time? Why is it the question managed to penetrate the lovestruck blindness that had infected me?
Because Spike had asked me the question. He asked me if it was possible to change back and that was all he had to ask. The implications of the question also asked me why, when and if I wanted it. It implied his displeasure and that was all I needed.
“Yes. Twilight just needs a few more days to gather the ingredients.”
He nodded once, sighing as he glanced up at my larger figure. The white scales shone in the sun, sparkled even and I felt beautiful as a Dragon. Like maybe I could fit, but it still felt alien to me. It wasn't me. It wasn't Rarity the Unicorn. It was Rarity the Dragon and it didn't sound natural. I'm sure that I would have grown into it. I almost stayed like this. But it took just one small moment to snap me out of it.
“Rarity, I love you. The real you, and I want the mare I fell in love with. Rarity the Unicorn.”
And then he planted a kiss on my cheek. I remember breaking down into tears as he did this, wrapping my arms around him. It wasn't like traditional fairy tales where I fell into his big strong arms. That's what I wanted; a traditional fairy tale romance, but this wasn't it.
He was squished by my larger frame. It was like hugging a teddy bear with the cutest widdle cheeks and it... it was incredible. He only wanted me. He didn't care about race. He never once cared that he may be persecuted by others for being in love with a Unicorn. He simply wanted to give me his love and he never once expected anything in return. He never asked me out because he appreciated me. Just like a flower... he never attempted to pluck me from my roots and place me in an flower jar. He took a look at me and appreciated my beauty, falling in love with what he saw and watched from a distance, knowing fully well that it would wilt and die before his time was up. He loved me from a distance and appreciated who I was rather than pluck me from my roots and place me somewhere that wasn't home, that wasn't where I belonged.
The transformation back was painful. I was having my physical body reduced and matter erased magically to reform into my pony form. I had fallen asleep afterwards, the strain too much for the moment. Exhausted, I was placed in my bed at home and given a caretaker. The one who brought me back from something I may or may not have loathed after a time. Someone who ensured that I was me... that I was the very Pony he fell in love with. Not the Dragon I had attempted to become. He understood it was for him. He knew fully well that I had wanted to give up everything I had for him. He stopped that before I grew to regret it. He stopped me from throwing it all away because I was too blind to see what it was I was throwing away: My family, my heritage, my home, my life, my dreams. Although I wanted to give it up for Spike, ultimately it was Spike who convinced me to hold onto it and keep it dear.
“Maybe someday, I can convince you to reciprocate those feelings... but for now, focus on the other things you hold dear. I will always wait for you... so take your time. I don't need an answer from you now, but someday, I want to be able to treat you well and care for you.”
You already do, Spike. It's selfish of me, but I want to tell you right now. I want to run away with you, but I'll honour your wishes. I will wait for you.
For any true gem, heat and pressure and time is required. But for us? Patience and time. Yes... patience and time.
