MARE: Mentally Advanced Rarity in Equestria

by onlyanorthernsong

Rating: mature
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Rarity, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 2135

Mentally Advanced Rarity is transported to canon Equestria. How will our favorite caustic ambitious nymphomaniac deal with a kinder gentler Equestria? How will Equestria deal with a more embittered marshmallow than the one they are used to?

Rarity enjoys a privileged life in the magical land of Equestria. Her business is booming. Her best friend is the protégé (and probably the illegitimate daughter) of her almighty majesty, Queen Celestia the Invincible. The sex lives of several of the most influential stallions in the country revolve around her bedroom (along with the sex lives of many other stallions who are just plain hot). Even her sister has become more palatable since she got possessed by a trans-dimensional eldritch abomination. Best of all she is an elegant unicorn, far above those filthy earth ponies. Praise Celestia!

One day Twilight hits the booze a little too hard, loses control of her emotions and sends Rarity to Equestria. Canon Equestria. Where the Royal Sisters are kind maternal figures. Where she is the object of hopeless infatuation on the part of Twilight’s slave, Spike. Where the yellow one (what’s her name again? Humblefly?) holds sway over Discord himself. And where the Element of Generosity may not take too kindly to the appearance of a coarse, racist, nymphomaniac doppelgänger.

Mentally Advanced Rarity is from The Mentally Advanced Series and Rainbow Dash Presents. She is the creation of Greg Hoffman, Petirep, and the rest of the hilarious crew at Dawnsomehwere.com
This is NOT a clopfic and there wont be any actual Sex scenes. It is Mentally advanced Rarity though so expect lots of sex jokes and innuendo.

The Cover Image above and all other images in the story except where noted, are from Rainbow Dash Presents and can be Viewed on Petirep's DeviantArt page.

Published 2013-12-22 04:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-22 04:20:04 UTC

A monodimensional life.

It had been such a great dream. It really had.

Rarity stirred within the warm bosom of her bed, enjoying the comfort as she stretched herself against the luxurious softness of her satin sheets. Golden rays, the bright ambassadors of morning, streamed in on sunlight wings through the crack in the heavy velvet curtains. Today was going to be a good day. After such a restful and relaxing sleep, any day was a good day.

And tonight would be a good night. Rarity was off to Twilight Sparkle’s to fit her for a dress. And not just any dress. Queen Celestia, in her ineffable wisdom, had ordered Twilight to organize a Hearts and Hooves day dance with the Mayor. All of Ponyville was invited. More precisely, attendance was mandatory for all area ponies who had reached sexual maturity. The Royal Proclamation the Mayor had read insinuated that objects would be forcibly inserted into the fannies of any adult ponies who foolishly disobeyed and failed to attend the dance. The Proclamation went on to state that the consensual and voluntary insertion of objects into fannies at the dance and its immediate aftermath was highly encouraged.

In order to stimulate the participation of as many ponies as possible in the activity that the text of the Proclamation jauntily referred to as “Scary Butt Fun”, Mayor Mare , the Elements of Harmony, and Big Mac were all ordered to attend the dance and cheerlead it while dressed in sexy outfits of lace and leather. This type of outfit was Rarity’s stock in trade. And she had been delighted to begin work as soon as possible.

The first of the outfits to be finished had been Rarity’s own. The second was Big Mac’s. Three night’s ago She had worn her outfit as she fitted his on him. The outfits were a great success as evidenced by the fact that Big Mac had quickly pounced on her and ravished her against one of the walls of her workroom. One could not deny Big Mac was an excellent buck. Even if he was an Earth Pony. And had a girl’s voice. The truth was that no matter how many times she had enjoyed him in the past, the Size Queen in Rarity could not help but marvel at just how perfectly Big Mac filled her up. No they certainly did not call him Big Mac for nothing!

Fig.1 Rarity can’t help but smile in delighted glee whenever she lays eyes upon Big Mac’s mighty namesake

And now Twilight’s outfit was done. And this evening Twilight would be fitted for it. Knowing Twilight, she would be fall-down-drunk by the time Rarity showed up, so as to mitigate her humiliation. Or at least to prevent the formation of any memories of said humiliation. This was a win win for Rarity. A drunk Twilight was much more likely to share her booze with Rarity. Twi made mean Daiquiri’s. But it took a while for her to get in the right mood.

But perhaps, with enough booze and the visual stimulation of the outfit. Twi might get in the mood for something else entirely. Rarity had been itching to bed a Mare, if only to make her life a little less monodimensional. And Twilight was officially, one of the prettiest ponies in Ponyville.

Oh, who was she kidding. Official pronouncements aside Twilight’s purple rump was rather boring. But physical aesthetics where only one of the factors that whetted Rarity’s prodigious sexual appetite. There was also wealth, power, influence. And it was hard to think of any pony her age that wielded as much influence as Lady Twilight Sparkle, of the clan Sparkle, Baroness of the Everfree, the youngest Archmage in 500 years.

And almost certainly Queen Celestia’s illegitimate daughter. Almost certainly.

Bedding Twi would also complete the pair. And it was this prospect that had almost certainly inspired the delicious dream that she had awoken from.

It was less a dream than a memory. A memory of one of Rarity’s greatest seductions. Prince Shining Armor himself. Ever since she had laid eyes on him at his wedding, Rarity knew she would physically posses him. He was gorgeous, muscular, brave, wealthy. A prime exemplar of Unicorn vigor. No Pony, upon gazing upon such a specimen, could deny the superiority of the Unicorn race. Of course he was married, but that was hardly a problem. Just an extra challenge, and extra spice on the delicacy .

And so she had used her charms to insinuate herself to him one day, when he was alone, visiting Twilight while Cadence was off on some diplomatic mission of one kind or another. An invitation in for tea, then a switch to alcohol, and nature took its course. It had taken quite a bit of alcohol mind, and so the niceties of foreplay were abandoned. Yet Rarity was amazed at just how thoroughly Shiny had pounded away at her. His stamina had been astounding for one so soused.

Rarity laid on her bed remembering her dream and the memory that had generated it . Combined with her prospects for the evening it was not long before her hoof slowly grazed past her tummy and down between her bed sheets heading towards the familiar warmth that enveloped her nether regions. There, the petals of what Rarity knew was the most desirable flower in Equestria were already spread and moistened.

Rarity used her magic to open her toy drawer and call to her one of her newest acquisitions. His name was Mr. Buzzy, and Rarity had waspishly named him in honor of Mrs. Buzzy, the late and much lamented stuffed bee from Twilight’s childhood. But while Twilight’s toy was suitable for young fillies and made of very soft plush, Rarity’s was for rather more grown up fillies, and was made of firm but flexible plastic with a skin-like covering of high grade textured silicon. He provided the most excellent vibrations. It was not long before the whine of Mr. Buzzy’s motor was drowned out by the gasps, moans, and sighs that so often filled the air of Rarity’s bedroom .

Figure 2. Twillight meets her toy, Mrs. Buzzy, for the first time. Cameras were not allowed when Rarity met her toy, Mr. Buzzy, for the first time, but rest assured that the delight was equally as intense.

The excellent start to Rarity’s day carried over to a rather pleasant and productive morning and afternoon. Rarity whiled away the time, perfecting Twilight’s outfit.

Finally the shadows lengthened as the Sun lowered on its arc. The time to head towards Twilight’s library home drew near. Rarity carefully prepared the package in which she would carry the outfit. At the very bottom she hid her own outfit, in case “the best case scenario” presented itself. She then hid it with colored wrapping paper and laid Twilight’s outfit on top of it. After checking herself in a mirror to make sure she was as alluring as always Rarity gingerly made her way out towards the front door.

Weird lights and shadows emanated from the kitchen drawing Rarity’s attention. Peering her head into the kitchen , Rarity saw her younger sister, Thrackerzod, hard at work. Though what she was working at was impossible to determine.

Several pots boiled on the stove, whereas what appeared to be baking supplies lay scattered around the countertops. Thick bound tomes floated in the middle of the air, they looked ancient, the kind of things that only Twilight would find lovely. Some of them even seemed bound in leather… but that couldn’t be right could it?

Sigils and runic symbols materialized in mid-air only to disappear within moments. Writing in fiery letters of an unknown alphabet burned coldly against the far wall. In the middle of it all, Thrackerzod stood muttering incantations in the clashing, guttural, consonant laden syllables of the forbidden Dark Speech known only to the enlightened members of the Vil'kantunar priesthood whose monasteries of sacrifice still litter the eternal and endless void that lies beyond the realm of knowledge.

“ Sweetie.. I Mean Thrackerzod? …Darling?”

With Rarity’s words the spell was dispelled. The chants and murmurs ceased, the sigils and letters of fire winked out, the books feel to the floor in heavy thuds.

Thackerzod, flustered, turned to face her sister. She took a second to compose herself, and spoke thus:

“ What you saw here was a um perfectly normal, filly, attempting to make perfectly normal confections of the muffin variety. An activity that adheres closely to the absolute median of behavior that an ordinary regular magical unicorn of my age and socioeconomic status would be expected to display. Anything you may have mistakenly perceived as out of the ordinary, such as, say, glowing letters, were in fact tricks of the light and other commonplace but easily misinterpreted events. Everything here is the very picture of normalcy . In fact, if a representative randomly selected older sibling were to walk in on a representative randomly selected younger sibling engaged in a normal activity, the modal, or statistically most common activity, would probably closely resemble what you just saw. That is how normal it was. “

“ Sure , Thrackerzod. Listen I am going out for the evening. I won't sugar coat it darling, I may not come back tonight. And if I do I wont be in much of a state to wake up early. Would you be a dear and see yourself to school in the morning?”

“ Is that what a normal pony would do? See themselves off to school in the morning?”

Rarity let out a low groan. Overall she was very pleased with the change in Sweetie Belle’s personality since she started calling herself Thrackerzod. Her magic had gotten much stronger, and she kept out of Rarity’s way. However Thrackerzod had a weird obsession with only doing things that were normal. It was bizarre and often bordered on the absurd.. For example, soon after becoming Thrackerzod, the unicorn filly formerly known as Sweetie Belle had suddenly become the best student in the class. Then, just as abruptly, she purposefully began getting answers wrong on tests and “forgetting” homework assignments. When asked about it Thrackerzod simply responded that being the best student in the class was not “normal”. Rarity would have to consider her next words carefully.

“ Yes, Thrackerzod. It is normal for a regular filly to see themselves off to school in the morning.” This was, technically speaking, true. And it was especially the case in Ponyville, since, thanks to its rampant rate of alcoholism morning was not a particularly pleasant time for many parents.
“Then the deed shall be done!” Thrackerzod proclaimed.

Figure 3. above. A regular magical unicorn. Figure 4. below, As befits a normal pony, Thrackerzod enjoys engaging in common activities, like walking though perfectly ordinary glowing mists while pointing an accusatory hoof at the local (temporarily possesed, which is also normal) Archmage.

Rarity walked out the front door, carrying the package carefully with her magic. She began the walk towards the library. She hoped none of the “friends” she and Twilight had in common would interrupt her. However, if they did, she hoped e it would be the overgrown child, Rainbow Dash, or the easily disposed of Fluttershy. They were preferable to the killjoy Applejack, and infinitely preferable to the Pink Terror.

Next : Chapter 2: Make me a Daiquiri! In which Twilight and Rarity get hammered

Author's Note

As usual I don't know what I'm doing. If you are a Fan of the Mentally Advanced Series and want to help me write this, whether as an editor, pre-reader and up to and including co-writer please please please message me or comment below!

For those who read this and are a little confused as to what is happening or are not as familiar with the Mental y Advanced Series as they may wish I have selected the three most Rarity centric episodes. Just click watch, and indulge in the hilarity.

The Mentally Advanced Series Episode 6 http://www.dawnsomewhere.com/mentally-advanced-series/mas-episode-6/.

The Mentally Advanced Series Episode 12 [url= http://www.dawnsomewhere.com/mentally-advanced-series/mas-episode-12/]http://www.dawnsomewhere.com/mentally-advanced-series/mas-episode-12/.

Rainbow Dash Presents Haunting Nightmare [url= http://www.dawnsomewhere.com/rainbow-dash-presents/rdp-haunting-nightmare/]http://www.dawnsomewhere.com/rainbow-dash-presents/rdp-haunting-nightmare/ Two of the four images on this page are actually from this video.

Speaking of images I am pretty sure that 90% of any positive reaction this receives will come from Petirep's glorious artwork. They say an Image speaks for a thousand words. Each of his speak for one hundred thousand. All glory to Petirep!

Image sources :
Figure 1.:http://petirep.deviantart.com/art/Spiderses-27-Rarity-D-273296220

Figure 2: http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/171/c/f/haunting_nightmare_46___mrs__buzzy_gift_by_petirep-d545t73.jpg

figure 3: http://petirep.deviantart.com/art/TAZ-283734930
figure 4: http://petirep.deviantart.com/art/Haunting-Nightmare-80-Thrackerzod-Arives-309322815

(Sorry for the messiness of the above links but i already wasted 90 minutes of my life trying to make them work. Please just cut and paste.)