Chapters Interview with an Unexpected Mage
"Are you sure this is gonna work?" The colt looked nervously at his brother as they prepared to sneak through the swinging doors of the Salt Lick, Appleloosa's town saloon.some advantages to having a bureaucrat for a dad...!"
Inside, as Cross' brother had gloomily predicted, the bouncer pony barely even glanced at their ID cards, being more concerned with their looks. "Are you guys sure you're old enough for this?" rumbled the bouncer, a giant of an earth pony who looked as if he could hold his own with Big Mac Apple or Snowflake from the weather team in a foreleg-wrestling contest.
"That's what it says on our ID cards, doesn't it?!" Cross stared defiantly up at the bouncer.
"Well, yeah, but..."
"But nothing! We'd like to go sit down now, if you're finished harassing innocent patrons."
Grunting, the bouncer moved out of the way, but not before casting a last doubtful glance over his shoulder at the pair.
"See? What'd I tell ya?! Piece of cake!" Cross whispered to Trotthe. "Now let's go get those beers."
A short time later, the two colts were seated at a wooden table with two foaming mugs in front of them. "Heh. This is more like it." Cross toasted his brother. "Well, down the hatch!" He raised the stein to his lips, but just before the golden liquid left the mug, there was a sudden flash of blue light around both cups. "Hey, what the hay is goin' on here?!" cried Cross, as he suddenly tasted, not the fermented barley which he expected (and had paid for with bits surreptitiously removed from his dad's wallet that morning as he was leaving home for the school carriage), but plain water.
Trotthe nudged him nervously with an elbow. "I told ya we shouldn't have tried this..."
"Where's that uppity unicorn pansy that messed with my drink?! I'm gonna knock him into the middle of next year!" Cross yelled fiercely. He scanned the tavern for any sign of a magic user... and found one.
At the bar, near the corner of the room, sat a creature the likes of which nopony he knew had ever laid eyes on before... but the newspapers had described in fair detail a month ago. Two forelimbs, one head, taller than anypony except Princess Celestia and Princess Luna... and obviously a biped, from the way it was sitting. Granted, it (he? the creature sported a dark beard with hints of gray...) looked considerably slimmer than the Princess' former counselor, but... he had to be the same species--who else could carry off ugliness like that?
More important, however, was the fact that his strangely scale-free claw was glowing bright sky-blue, the same color as the magic aura that surrounded the colts' glasses of (former) beer! And if a bipedal creature who used magic was in the Salt Lick with them, then that meant only one thing...
The two colts leaped to their hooves and shrieked in terrified unison. "Draconequus!!"
An observer would have thought the word was the opening of an incantation to one of Princess Twilight's telekinesis spells, the bar emptied out so fast... and the panicking ponies ran nowhere else but right out into the streets of Appleloosa. Word (or frightened shout, more likely) spread quickly through the town, causing the crowd in the streets to grow thicker and more riotous with every passing minute, until Sheriff Silver Star and his deputies could no longer contain their fellow ponies' fear-driven energy.
"What should we do, Sheriff?" called Deputy Braeburn over the roar of pony voices.
"If it really is a draconequus in there, there's only one thing we can do!" Silver Star shouted back. "Somepony get down to the post office and call the Princesses! We need the Elements of Harmony!"
As the six alicorn friends who bore the Elements of Harmony made their way through the streets of Canterlot, they chatted about their latest visit to the Museum of Natural History.
"I wonder what new inventions Celestia is going to introduce next week? There are some things she hasn't even told me about," Twilight said.
"It should be something awesome and fast, like that "motorcycle" thing Arthur showed us once!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed--predictably, for her, Twilight thought.
"Nah, how 'bout that "tractor" contraption?" Applejack grinned. "Sakes, I bet a pony could plow five fields in the time it takes us now to plow one!"
"Oo! Oo! I know, I know!" Pinkie bounced up and down, waving her right forehoof in the air like a student in kindergarten. "It should be some of those candy-making machines in there! Who doesn't love more candy around?!" Rainbow rolled her eyes at the party pony's perpetual enthusiasm for sugary foods.
"Never, darlings--at least not first," Rarity declaimed. "It ought to be something that can advance the fashion industry. Can't have ponies like Sapphire Shores or Fancy Pants getting--ugh, perish the very thought!--bored with what Carousel Boutique produces, now can I?"
Twilight listened to her friends' good-natured back-and-forth bantering over what human marvel Celestia would unleash next on Equestria's waiting population. She smiled to herself. All's right with Equus, she thought. Nothing can spoil this day...
...Which, given Equestria's penchant for irony, was almost the worst thing she could have thought. A coltish cry split the cool morning air.
"TWILIGHT!"
Startled, the purple alicorn flared her wings, looking around for her "Number-One Assistant" Spike, for it was him she had heard yelling her name. "Spike? Where--oh," she said, spotting him racing down the street toward her, kicking up his telltale cloud of dust. "What's going on?"
"Message--from Celestia," Spike gasped. "Appleloosa!... Need... Elements...draconequus!"
"What?! the six Bearers yelled, simultaneously.
"But--I thought once the contest was over, we wouldn't get another one! What the hay is goin' on here, Spike?!" Rainbow demanded.
"The message didn't say," Spike said, having finally caught his breath. "I've always thought Princess Celestia should quit sending us telegrams...!" he groused.
"Well, we know what's causing trouble, and we know where. That's got to be good enough for now. Come on, girls, gather 'round!" Twilight shouted, charging her horn with a magenta glow of magic. In a flash--literally--her teleportation spell had taken effect and shifted them through--somewhere --to Canterlot Castle's treasure vault, where they donned the Elements of Harmony, then shifted again--to Appleloosa.
Author's Note
This is set after RealityCheck's story The Audience --one month after it, to be precise--so you should read it first, to gain some background. (Plus, it's a really awesome story--one of the best, if not the best, Human In Equestria stories I've read on this site.)
Some of you might also be wondering what the Elements are doing still in Celestia's vault, ~~when "Princess Twilight Sparkle, Part II" clearly showed them hung back on the Tree of Harmony.~~ To that I answer: what else are they gonna use in a situation like this? ~~Besides, the girls may not remain so Elementless for long... I have my suspicions as to what that six-locked box at the Tree's base contains.~~ The Audience 's version of that episode turned out a little different.
See you next chapter--when the story really starts to get good.
Interview with an Unexpected Mage
Prologue, Part 2: Confrontation
"Sheriff!" Twilight called out, leading her friends hurriedly to where Silver Star and Braeburn stood waiting for them on the raised platform that formed the porch of Appleloosa's town hall. "How could there be a draconequus here? Once Arthur won the contest, he promised no other ones of them would be allowed to interfere with Equestria." (1)
"That's just it, yer Highness," responded Silver Star, bowing. "We ain't even sure this critter is one o' Discord an' Arcturus' kin. Everypony just assumed that's what he was when Cross an' his brother screamed. Thanks to the press of the crowd an' all the riotin', nopony's been able to git near the Salt Lick to find out! Ah--greetin's, Sir Spike, yer Ladyships," he said, nodding respectfully to the dragon and the rest of the Bearers. "I'm hopin' y'all can help with a little crowd control first, before we can git t' th'bottom o' this."
"We'd be happy to, Sheriff. A-ahem. ATTENTION, CITIZENS OF APPLELOOSA!" Twilight bellowed in the Royal Canterlot Voice, (2) "We're the Elements of Harmony, and we're here to help resolve this crisis. So, if everypony would evacuate the streets in good order and let us through to where this all started, we'd appreciate it. Thank you!" Her friends would have noticed the gathered ponies gaping in astonishment at this new evidence of Twilight growing used to alicornhood, but there wasn't time. They had a potential threat to investigate.
They walked down the rapidly clearing streets to the doors of the Salt Lick Saloon, which had been torn partway off their hinges by the stampeding crowd earlier. Peering inside, they saw the apparent cause of all the trouble: a human stallion as tall as Princess Luna, with sparkling blue eyes--and a coruscating glow around his left hand to match! Twilight's eyes widened, but before she could speak, the stranger beat her to it.
"Ah, greetings, Princess Sparkle. Brought your friends along, have you? I don't blame you; in situations like the one that just happened here, it's always good to have someone along to watch your back." He smiled. "Allow me to introduce myself: my name is Jason Clavoli, and I've come here specifically to discuss something with you, your Highness. If we could--" at this point, he was interrupted by Rainbow Dash flying straight at him at a great rate of speed.
"Shut up! Just who the hay do you think you are, threatening peaceful ponies this way?! How dare you?!" She whirled in midair to face Twilight and the rest of the Bearers. "Let's show this creep he can't mess with Equestrians this way!" The mare backed up to get a flying start that most likely would have resulted in Clavoli nursing bloody facial features if she'd been able to connect, but found herself ricocheting off a glowing blue shield Clavoli had suddenly erected. “Hey! What gives?!” Rainbow cried, righting herself in mid-tumble. “We're alicorns now. How in the world did you do that?!!”
“Look,” the human said. “I admit my entry method and—uh--attention-getting-device might have been a bit, shall we say, 'startling'”--he glanced sheepishly out the window of the bar at the formerly panicked, still angry and tense, crowd--”but I assure you, my intent in coming here is not to cause harm to anyone.”
Rainbow rudely blew Clavoli a raspberry. “Pfft! Yeah, right! Causing harm and chaos is all you draconequuses ever do! It's what you live for. You think we're gonna believe you after this?!”
“Wait a minute—draconequus? Is that what you think I am?” Clavoli flinched in astonishment. “I would never hurt sapient beings without provocation! And where do you get the idea I'm related to Discord and his bunch anyway?”
Fluttershy spoke up. “It has been only a month since Arthur won the contest... didn't you get here through the Mirror?”
“The Mirror? You mean that portal Princess Celestia had? No, I didn't. I asked Arthur for permission to come here once he'd won,” Clavoli responded.
The ponies could see comprehension dawn on the human's face. “Oh. Well, I can see where you might jump to that conclusion, but that's partially what I came to talk to you about, Princess Twilight. I'm sure you must be wondering about...this,” Clavoli gestured with his glowing hand, “since I believe, from what Arthur told me, that he mentioned to you humans can't use magic... correct?” Twilight nodded, a fascinated expression crossing her muzzle. “Well, there are a few things about Terra even he didn't realize...! Perhaps we could move this talk to a more comfortable location—say, the Books and Branches Palace in Ponyville? Once we settle in there, I can give you a start on some answers.” He smiled and stood, dismissing his shield with a wave of his hand, and followed the mares out of the building.
"I still say he's gotta be some kind of spy," Rainbow hissed to the others under her breath as they left the saloon. "How else would he know all this stuff about us--about you, Twilight?" The other ponies either took note of or ignored the speedster's suspicions as was their wont, as the group left the saloon and trotted back up the street to where Sheriff Silver Star and Braeburn stood waiting.
Author's Note
1) A presumption, I admit, but a logical one, given the direction The Audience is going at this point...(Edit: No spoilers intended, by the way.
2) She's been an alicorn for this long; I figured it was time she started growing into the cooler aspects of her inheritance. Heh.
Well, that's it for the prologue! Comment, like, dislike, do whatever--but if you do give me a thumbs-down, I'd appreciate a comment explaining why. Can't improve without feedback, after all!
See you next chapter!
Interview with an Unexpected Mage
“So, ya finally got the varmint to come outta hidin', I see. Good work, yer Majesties,” Silver Star said approvingly, punctuating his statement with a respectful bow. “Now hear this! You, whatever ya are, are under arrest! You got a lot to answer for,” the sheriff spoke to Jason as he brought out a pair of magic-canceling hoofcuffs and snapped them shut around the human's wrists.
“Wait, Sheriff. I'm sure this was all some sort of misunderstanding,” Fluttershy said, moving to stand next to Jason. “Can't we--” At this point, Silver Star interrupted her.
“Sorry, yer Highness. I know ya can't stand ta see anypony—uh, anycritter hurt, but he needs to serve some time fer what he's done. If'n yer Majesties”—he glanced around at the rest of the Bearers—like, y'all can put in a good word fer him at the trial, but everypony needs a chance ta say their piece an' see that justice still holds true in Appleloosa.”
Jason smiled. “Alicorn of Kindness, indeed. Thanks for trying, your Highness, but a bit of time behind bars won't kill me—as long as your dietitians, whoever they are,” he added with a look at Silver Star and Braeburn, “realize that my species can't digest cellulose fibers, is omnivorous by nature and has a higher protein requirement than ponies do.” The sheriff and his deputy looked surprised that this strange creature would appear to be dictating terms to them, but this consternation was quickly put to rest when he smiled again and continued, “Just a bit of medical advice. Wouldn't want to leave any nasty surprises for your janitorial crew at the end of this, after all.” Bemused, the two lawponies herded Jason off to the sheriff's office to be locked up.
“Wait... what just happened?” Rainbow asked, looking a bit taken aback herself. “Did that guy just... identify Fluttershy as the Bearer of Kindness? He seems awful... polite.”
“I know, Rainbow Dash,” replied Rarity. “Such a gentlecolt... it almost makes one think he's innocent of whatever charges Silver Star is levying.”
“We can't be character witnesses for a being we barely know anything about, Rarity,” Twilight said, “let alone one who might or might not be a draconequus! We need to find out more about all this.” The six friends and the dragon headed down the street to Silver Star's office.
“Sheriff!” Twilight called, striding into Silver Star's office, at the head of a triangle of her friends. “In our official capacity as Princesses of Equestria, we request permission to investigate this case before it's brought to trial. How did all of this get started?”
“Well, I... I don't rightly know, yer Highnesses,” admitted the sheriff. “Braeburn an' I were just mindin' our own business, when we heard two colts scream 'Draconequus!', 'an all of a sudden, this crowd o' ponies comes just a-boilin' outta the Salt Lick as if Tartarus itself was on their tails! We asked, an' one o' the ponies told us the two who screamed were a foal name o' Crosses the Line Twice an' his brother Trotthe. Other'n that, though, an' hearin' that there was a two-legger with his claw glowin' like a unicorn's horn in the bar, we really don't know much,” Star said, with an apologetic bow.
“Then why in tarnation did ya arrest him?!” Applejack said forcefully. “If'n ya don't know fer sure--”
“We had to do somethin', —er, I beg yer pardon, yer Highness,” one of the deputies added when he saw Applejack's glare. “Ponies were panickin' in the streets—you saw fer yerself what a madhouse it was when ya first got here! Holdin' this critter for a little bit should do somethin' ta calm down the townsponies.”
“Hmph,” Applejack snorted. “It don't seem like a truthful way ta get things done, but I guess I kinda see yer point, Deputy. What next, Twi?” she asked, turning to face her fellow alicorn.
“We need to get Jason's side of the story,” replied Twilight. “C'mon, girls.” She turned and trotted down the narrow hallway to the jail cells in the rear of the building, her friends following close behind. As they reached the cells, she spotted a cell door that fairly hummed with power in their magical senses. “That's got to be where you're holding him—am I right, Sheriff?!” she called back down the hall.
“If yer talkin' about Cell 3A, yer Highness, then yes!” Silver Star shouted back. “It's the only magically reinforced cell we got, so we had ta use it! After we heard what happened ta Ponyville after Discord got ahold o'y'all, I ain't takin' any chances!”
“If I were actually a draconequus,” remarked an amused voice from inside the cell, “his precautions would be only reasonable. As it is, they're overkill, but try telling him that.”
Twilight and her friends looked through the barred window of the cell door to see Jason sitting on a bunk hung from the far wall by two chains. He waved to them. “Hello again, your Highnesses. I'm surprised you've hung around town this long. I'd think seniority would have entitled Princesses Celestia or Luna to call you away on some more important errand by now.”
“Nope!” said Pinkie Pie cheerfully in response. “Celestia wanted us to come here and check out why everypony in town was running around screaming like a bunch of foals on Nightmare Night!”
“Right!” proclaimed Rainbow. “And we're sticking around here like sovereign glue until we find out why this happened, you... you trickster.” She glared at the human, who stared back sympathetically.
“Still sore at me for the way I tried to flag you down? Can't say I blame you, Princess Dash. If you're all here for my side of the story, though?” He glanced at Twilight and Rarity, who nodded curiously. “Then you might start out by giving me the benefit of the doubt when I tell you this was nothing more than a case of mistaken identity. I was in the Salt Lick to puzzle out the best way to get in touch with you princesses, not to cause a panic! Left to my own devices, I would have tried a more peaceful method—but you surely can't blame me for taking advantage of an opportunity that all but flings itself into the street at my feet like—like an asylum resident trying to catch a cab in Manehattan! I was there to have a quiet spot to think, but when those two clearly underage colts tried to scam booze out of the bartender, I thought I saw a quicker way. Is it my fault they freaked out and caused a chain reaction that engulfed the whole entire town?!” Jason gestured helplessly as if he were trying to take off into the air. “One thing I do hope for: if and when I am cleared, could you ponies please stop trying to use magic-canceling devices on me? They make my hair itch.” He lifted a claw--hand, Twilight recalled Arthur calling them --and scratched at his scalp. “Thank you for hearing me out, your Highnesses. I hope to meet with you in Ponyville under more congenial circumstances soon.” He turned away from them, lay down on the bunk and closed his eyes.
Wanting to let him rest, the alicorns quietly left the cell, tiphoofing back down the hallway and into Silver Star's office in the front of the building.
“Well, girls, what do you all think?” asked Twilight. “Applejack, he wasn't lying to us, was he?”
“No, he wasn't—at least, he believes he's bein' honest with us,” replied the former farmpony. “Which is the weird thing. Maybe once we see what those two colts have to say we kin finally start gittin' some kinda handle on this situation.” Applejack grimaced in frustration. "Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash? What d'you two think of him?"
"Well, he seems very kind, at first sniff," Fluttershy replied. "He also never made any aggressive moves during our 'fight' in the bar... and he's very polite. Those don't seem like the actions of anypony who means harm to creatures."
"Aw, c'mon! Don't tell me you actually believe him, after what we've been through this year!" Rainbow cried. "He could easily be making it all up, you know! Besides, how can we trust him after he... he..." Rainbow was so frustrated she temporarily lost the ability to speak. Rarity caught on.
"...After he so brazenly defended himself against your attempt to kick his face through the back of his head, you mean?" Rarity smirked. "Yes, how dare he?!" she continued sarcastically. "Rainbow Dash, someday I hope you will see that sometimes diplomacy can get ponies further along the way to harmony than beating some sense into their skulls... As for my impression of him, Twilight? As I said before, he seems quite the gentlecolt, especially compared to some of those--" she shuddered at the memory of Mayhem, in particular--"extradimensional ruffians we had to put in their places. It's difficult to believe he was the cause of the riot... Perhaps he was its catalyst, however, but I don't believe it was an intentional act."
"Hmm..." Twilight mused over what the others had been saying. "Pinkie? What do you think? Is he a good pony--er, being?"
"Yah-huh! I think so! He can be super-ultra-mega funny, if he puts his mind to it!" She grinned. "I can smell it on him... like, for instance, he loves slapstick comedy! Oooo..." Her grin turned devious. "I just got a really sneaky idea--what if I offer to make him my Faithful Student someday? Think he'll say yes?"
"That wasn't what I meant, Pinkie," Twilight said, facehoofing. "I meant, is he the kind of being who would scare ponies like the Sheriff and his deputies think he did?"
"Oh! Well... nah, I don't think so," Pinkie replied after considering for a moment. "I mean, other than these super-duper new alicorn senses, I haven't really got much of a read on him. Sorry, Twilight." She pouted... for about five seconds. Then she snickered to herself, thinking about what she'd accomplish with a Faithful Student of her very own.
"Thanks for your help, girls," said Twilight. "As for me, I think that even if he is a bad being, a chance to learn the secrets or knowledge he's hinted that he has is worth the risk, and if you girls all trust him--well, most of you--" she looked apologetically over at Rainbow--"then I feel it's one worth taking. We'll go talk to--what were their names again?--Oh, yes, Cross and Trotsthe Line, then we'll see whether we can vouch for him at the trial. Let's go find Dotted Line's house, shall we? Oh, and thanks for your hospitality, Sheriff Star! We'll be back to town in time for the trial!" Twilight called. Then, she and the other Bearers left the sheriff's office. Once they were outside, she gathered Spike onto her back as the other Bearers clustered around them. The six alicorns touched their horns together and charged up Twilight's teleportation spell, then vanished from Appleloosa in a flash, reappearing precisely where Twilight had visualized--the steps of the Canterlot National Archives.
"Ah! Good! Now for a letter of introduction. Spike, take this down: 'To the head librarian of the Canterlot Archives: We would like to request delivery of any information you hold on the subject of the Line family. Please deliver this to Princess Twilight Sparkle, via Princess Celestia's green fireplace. Very truly yours, Her Royal Highness Princess Twilight Sparkle.' Have you got all that, Spike?”
“Yep. One sec.” Spike inhaled, then blew out a puff of green flame, incinerating the letter and teleporting it through the doors and onto the head librarian's desk with pinpoint accuracy. The mare started in surprise, then read the letter, leaped to her hooves and began frantically calling for a swarm of assistants, who busied themselves with looking up and collecting the information Twilight had requested. Meanwhile, the six newest Princesses of Equestria headed to the castle to enjoy a much-needed power nap.
Author's Note
Okay! New chapter is done! Comment away!
Interview with an Unexpected Mage
Chapter 2: Ruminations
Feeling much refreshed after their nap, the Bearers of the Elements awoke and gathered in Twilight's study to discover a wrapped package waiting for them on one of the end tables--a package wrapped in brown parcel paper, labeled "Canterlot National Archives," which was approximately the size of an entire file drawer. Applejack gaped.
"Hoo-wee, Twi', willya lookit that?!" she exclaimed. "I guess they figured ya weren't kiddin' when ya asked for all the information they had on Dotted Line an' his kin...! "
"Oh, great--homework," groused Rainbow. Pinkie giggled.
"Don't worry, Rainbow. I'll speed-read this, and give the rest of you a precis when I'm done," Twilight assured her friend. At her blue friend's blank look, she replied, "I'll summarize it for you," rolling her eyes. "Yeesh, would it hurt you to expand your vocabulary once in a while?" She chuckled at Rainbow's flat stare in response. "You can all go get a continental breakfast or something in the dining room. This shouldn't take me... oh, more than ten or fifteen minutes, now. Go ahead, I'll catch up." The five of them turned and left her to it.
"I certainly hope we can get this unpleasant business over with, and put it behind us as soon as possible," declared Rarity, as she nibbled daintily at her egg-white over Trottingham muffin with alfalfa patty. (1)
"No kidding!" Pinkie responded. "I've got the biggest idea for a "Welcome to Ponyville" party I've ever had! I can't wait!" She practically vibrated in her seat, although this might have been due to the cup of coffee laden with around thirty teaspoons of sugar she was currently gulping, as well as the sweetened corn cereal she had consumed immediately beforehoof.
"Hmph." Rainbow scowled. "He still has to prove he's on the level about not using his magic for evil, as far as I'm concerned." She gave her multigrain bran muffin a savage bite, munching hard to defuse her emotional tension. She washed it down with a prolonged swig of a fruit smoothie, continuing, "After what the Discord 'family' did to the rest of you guys, not to mention Ponyville, I'm not so ready to forgive somepony like them...!" She snorted, scowling at dark remembrances.
"Rainbow, don't worry so much," Fluttershy murmured gently to her oldest friend, embracing her with one wing while picking at her fruit plate with the other. "After all, we got through the contest last month okay, didn't we? Besides, I think you're not seeing the obvious. This one is nothing like Discord, Mayhem or the rest--he's not even really like Arthur," she continued in her usual low voice. "He seems much gentler than any of them ever were."
"He certainly appears to have been well brought-up, at least for someone seemingly raised in a middle-class environment," Rarity put in. "I can't wait to discover whether his taste in clothing matches it or not!" She gave an eager laugh. "Can you imagine it? Ensembles for simply weeks!" Her eyes held a gleeful sparkle at the thought.
"Yeah, well, be that as it may," Applejack said, shaking her head, "I don't git a sense that he's bein' untruthful with us, not exactly. It's more like he's got somethin' like a Hearth's Warmin' present fer Twilight in particular, 'an he wants ta enjoy the look on her face when it comes time fer her ta finally unwrap it." She grimaced. "'Course, if'n he does mean any harm to her, the five of us 'll be right there at her side ta stop him, right?" She was grateful to hear sounds of agreement from the other four mares, some (Rainbow's in particular) more firm than others.
"Then you see exactly what I'm concerned about, Applejack!" cried Rainbow. "What if this guy is actually a Draconequus, like the rest of them were?! I don't want to see anypony in the same kind of fix as we were years ago when we first met Discord!" Rainbow's irises snapped with magenta fire. "I should've been able to kick his tail! It isn't fair! If we get him let go, this new guy could be just as bad as all the rest of them!"
"An' we handled all o' them well enough, didn't we?" interrupted Applejack. "Rainbow, don't worry none. We can get this, just like we got Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra, Mayhem, Anarchy... all of 'em. 'Sides, ya seem ta be fergettin' we got some... extra advantages nowadays," the orange mare smirked, casting her eyes up to her horn, then over to Rainbow's, then elbowing the sporty Bearer of Loyalty in the ribs.
"Yeah, you're right... but from what Arthur told us, humans can't do magic! And he shielded himself against me! Me, Rainbow Dash, fastest of them all! How in the hay did he do that?!"
"Shoot, sugarcube, he just caught ya off guard, is all. If he tries any funny business, you can hit him next time, right? Stop worryin' an' eat." Applejack turned back to her own plate, taking a decisive bite of her apple fritter with ice cream. (2)
"Funny business?!" exclaimed Pinkie. "That's the kind of thing I live for! Does this mean you're gonna hit me, too?" she quavered, turning concerned eyes on her pranking pal.
"Not that kind of funny business, Pinks," explained Rainbow. "We meant the kind Discord pulled on us and Twilight, back when we first met the guy. Remember?"
"Ohhh, you meant meanie-pants funny business. I get it now." Her brow furrowed, and she growled like she had just before they unleashed the Rainbow of Purification on Discord the first time... then she grinned again. "I don't think he will, though--he's too nice for that. Trust me, Dashie, I think you've got him all wrong. You'll see." Her grin turned mysterious, and her eyes got that "I-know-a-secret" look foals got in the schoolyards.
"What's taking Twilight so long? I hope she hasn't gotten lost in the hallways on her way here..." Fluttershy murmured worriedly.
"Are you kiddin'?" Spike's voice sounded out of seemingly nowhere as he, on Twilight's back, appeared in the doorway of the dining hall. "Twilight and I practically grew up here! We know these halls like you know your own hoofprints," he bragged. Twilight slung the side of her left coronet over Spike's mouth, annoyed.
"Hush, Spike. Nopony wants to hear you boast like that." Twilight made her way over to a seat between Rarity and Fluttershy, then flagged down a waiter by waving a wing in a beckoning motion. "I'll have a fish sandwich with a large side of hay fries, heavy on the tartar sauce and garnished with lettuce." She looked up to see Rarity, Applejack and Pinkie staring at her in bemused surprise. "What? We're each part pegasus now, so it's a valid nutritional option. Besides, I feel like I could use the brain food after what I just put myself through..." She shuddered involuntarily, shaking her head as though she wished she could work kinks out of her horn. "Normally, I like statistics work, but this... this is a whole other caliber of.. of... I barely know how to describe it, it's like... like looking into a mirror and seeing the inverse of Discord staring back at you. Ugh." She would have faceplanted into the table had her horn and nose not gotten in the way. "I hope they bring my food soon."
Compassionately, her friends decided to wait until Twilight had some substance in her digestive system before they started plying her with questions, although given Appleloosa's current state of disruption, the effort of holding their questions in showed clearly in their eyes. Finally, the waiter brought Twilight's order, and she fell to with such a will an impartial observer (were there any there to observe) would be understandably forgiven for assuming she hadn't eaten in days. When she finally pushed back from her plate with a contented sigh, Rarity spoke.
"Well, darling, what did you discover? Don't keep us in suspense any longer."
"I did manage to find Dotted Line's home address, which is what I was looking for in the first place... but I also found something else, which is why I feel so drained. Dotted Line is head archivist of a bureau so secret most ponies only ever visit it once in their whole lives, and never darken its door again if they can help it: the Royal Records Department. Legends claim the stacks of documentation in there are dozens of hooves high, so that if they ever toppled over, the phrase 'buried in paperwork' would become more than a mere metaphor. Ugh." Twilight shuddered again. "Waiter! Could I please have three one-hoof-long (3) daffodil and daisy sandwiches, heavy on the dressing?" She stared at Rainbow, who was giving her an aghast stare of disbelieving disapproval. "So? We can go fly some extra laps around the aerial course later to burn it off. Leave me alone about it; you didn't experience the Bureaucracy from Tartarus like I just did."
"Come on, Twilight," Spike said, shaking his head. "It's just your vivid imagination catching up with you again. Royal Records probably isn't anywhere near as bad as you think," he said, picking a luscious-looking (4) four-gem combo of diamond, emerald, ruby and sapphire from his plate of gems and popping all four of them into his mouth at once, then crunching noisily as he chewed. "Mmmm, I love their Elemental Variety Special here. I look forward to it every chance I can get!"
It was a measure of Twilight's mental and emotional exhaustion that she didn't rebuke her assistant for talking with his mouth full. Predictably, it was Pinkie and Fluttershy who came to her rescue.
"Cheer up, Twilight!" Pinkie exhorted her friend. "You found what you went in there after, after all! I'll have to throw you a "Twilight's-An-Awesome-Researcher-Party" later to celebrate!" She grinned and offered a high-hoof to her friend. Weakly, Twilight smiled back.
"Let me get you something to go with those sandwiches, Twilight. Waiter!" Fluttershy called loudly (for her; it would have been normal speaking volume for most ponies. Luckily, one of the servers was within earshot). "I'd like to order a cup of chamomile tea for Princess Twilight, please. Put it on my part of the account." Bowing his head in a nod, the waiter backed toward the kitchen doorway. Fluttershy draped a wing over Twilight's shoulder. "That should help calm you down after this," the former pegasus smiled.
"Thanks, girls." Twilight raised her forelegs to hold hooves with the two. "I'm lucky to have such caring friends as you." She took a deep breath, then released it slowly. "As soon as we finish eating, let's head over to..." she paused for a moment, recalling the address she'd learned, then said, "...the intersection of Tack Street and Solstice Avenue. We've got a bureaucrat to confront about his parenting skills... or lack thereof," she finished, rolling her eyes.
Author's Note
Author's Notes:
1) Equestrian version of a low-fat Eggs Benedict.
2) I know what you must be thinking... "Ice cream for breakfast?" Alicorn metabolism--how else do you think Celestia eats all that cake without becoming chubby? Besides, rank hath its privileges.
3) Six inches, to us Terrans. (Thanks to DungeonMiner's A Novice Swordsman in the Canterlot Court
4) To a dragon, anyway.
Yeah, I admit it--I'm a bit of a foodie.
Interview with an Unexpected Mage
There was a firm knock on Dotted Line's front door. "Coming!" his wife, a pegasus mare named Aspiring Skies, responded. She trotted to the door, opened it with a wing... then fell to her hocks in shock. Standing on her doorstep were none other than a two-hoof tall purple dragon, and behind him, the six newest Princesses of Equestria, the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony themselves. Recovering her voice, Skies stammered out, "Y-Your Highnesses, this is an unexpected honor! Please, come in! Can I get you anything?"
"No, thank you, we've already eaten. Besides, we're here on official business, Mrs. Line. Were you aware that there was a riot in Appleloosa yesterday?" Twilight arched an eyebrow questioningly.
"A riot?! Oh, my Luna!" Skies screamed. "My sons went there on a school field trip yesterday and never came home! My poor babies! I hope they weren't caught in the middle of it..." She broke down sobbing. Dotted Line, hearing his wife scream, came galloping in. . . and skidded to a stop at the sight of the six alicorn princesses standing in his living room. Bowing to them briefly, he turned to deal with his distraught spouse. Fluttershy, on Skies' other side, felt tears beginning to prick at the corners of her own eyes as, together, she and Dotted Line gently maneuvered Aspiring Skies to a nearby sofa and gently lowered the three of themselves down onto it. "There, there," Fluttershy began soothingly, patting the worried mother on the back with a wing. "No need to panic--we'll have the situation in hoof..."
Dotted Line joined in Fluttershy's attempt at comforting his wife. "Yes, dear, I'm sure the Princesses are well able to handle this. Besides, statistically speaking, Appleloosa is one of the top ten safest cities in Equestria, you kn--" at this point, he was cut off by his wife suddenly beginning to shriek into his face.
"You SHUT UP!! I don't give a flying feather about your statistics--these are our children we're talking about!! The fruit of my body that I bore to you-- twice!!" She recoiled, gasping deeply and suddenly. "Oh, my poor Cross!" she wailed. "Please, your Highnesses, you've got to find them and bring them back safely!!"
Fluttershy lit her horn, and began singing.(1) "Hush, now, quiet now..." Gradually, Aspiring Skies calmed enough to regain control of herself, though all the ponies present could see she was still terribly worried for her "babies".
Twilight spoke to Dotted Line. "So, your sons left on a field trip to Appleloosa yesterday, and haven't been back home since?" she asked, easily ferreting out the salient facts to be found from Aspiring Skies' burst of emotion.
"No, they haven't, your Highness," Dotted replied. "And something else is odd... I found six bits missing from my wallet this morning. If they'd needed spending money, they could have asked, even though I would of course have demanded they keep careful account of every bit they used and what they spent it on."
"Maybe they wanted to avoid that?" Applejack asked. "If I know foals, the first thing they'd wanta do at that kinda distance from their parents is cut loose some," she continued, remembering what Jason Clavoli had told them back at the Appleloosan hoosegow. "They could'a wanted the bits to spend on somethin' y'all wouldn't approve of, an' that's why they took 'em without askin'." She turned to Rarity. "I don't know 'bout you, but ta me, this whole business is startin' ta look more an' more like--" she edited her next words, mindful of the grieving mother near her--"our witness was tellin' the truth all along."
"Yes, it would seem so," Rarity agreed. "We must do something about this dreadful situation at once. Twilight?" she asked, turning to their leader.
"Don't worry, Mr. and Mrs. Line," Twilight said, turning to lead her friends out the front door. "We'll do our best to bring your sons back to you safely."
"Oo! This means I get to throw all kinds more parties!!" Pinkie exulted. "Hurray!"
"Yeah, yeah, business first, party later, Pinkie," Rainbow chided. "We still gotta find the foals first..."
As they emerged outside into Celestia's bright daylight, Twilight responded, "Finding them will be fairly easy, Rainbow. Logically, if they were last seen in Appleloosa, they must still be somewhere in town. We need to get back there and start a search pattern." The five other mares gathered close around Twilight, charging their horns. Moments later, they teleported back to Sheriff Silver Star's office in Appleloosa.
"Think we... lost them... by... now?" Trotsthe Line panted to his brother as they skidded to a stop in the alley.
Cross risked a peek around the corner of the left-hoof alley wall. "Horsefeathers, they're still coming!" he whispered fiercely to his brother, ducking back into the alley. "Hide!" The two colts crowded closer to the back of the alley, staying as still as they could. Luckily for them, the pursuing contingent of the sheriff's deputies charged right on past the blind alley without looking to the side. Cross snickered. "Easy as gardening... those idiots couldn't see the side of a barn if it was half a hoof in front of their noses." He beckoned to his brother. "C'mon, this way," he said, motioning in the opposite direction from the one the crowd of deputies had just taken.
As they emerged, they noticed they were right near the Appleloosa General Store, which, curiously, featured a banner hung from its second story which announced, "GRAND OPENING, NEW ELECTRONICS SECTION. NOW FEATURING TELEVISION SETS." The devices in question were proudly displayed in front window of the store, as befitted new merchandise, and seemed to be featuring a news report.
Breaking news, this just in! Due to the recent rioting in the frontier town of Appleloosa, Equestria's newest Princesses have now joined in the search for two high-school-age colts suspected of being the instigators of the riot, identified as Crosses-the-Line-Twice and Trotsthe Line. If you spot either of them, viewers, or have information relevant to the investigation, you are urged to contact either this station or your local law enforcement community immediately!"
Trotsthe facehoofed. "We are so, so dead, Cross."
Cross scowled at his brother. "Will you shut up?! Stop being so negative and let me think! We gotta find someplace to hide. Surely at this time of day, there have to be some unoccupied buildings in this town!" His eyes and head darted frantically around, finally settling on a squat rectangular building bearing a sign reading "Assay Office."
"In there, quick!" Cross and Trotsthe galloped for the entrance, ducking into a back hallway out of view of the front door. Panting for breath, their sides heaving, the two colts tried to get their heart rates to slow back down. Abruptly, they felt two hooves tap each of them on the shoulder. With a hard flinch, they cast looks backward... to see two alicorns standing behind them! One, a prismatic-maned slim equine with blue coat, waved a wing to them, smirking. "Hi."
The other, a pink-furred alicorn with a mane that reminded them strangely of cotton candy come to life, giggled at them. "Ooh! Are we playing tag? I love this game! You're it!!" she cried, bouncing forward and booping each of them on the nose with one hoof.
"EEYAAGH!" Screaming, Cross and Trotsthe fled the building, with the two princesses in hot pursuit. They ran as hard as they could, terror giving them strength they didn't know they had, but no matter where in town they ran, the two alicorns seemed to be right behind them. "I could do this all day! You guys give up yet?!" they heard a quartz-rough voice shout from over their shoulders. They didn't look back, however. Stumbling, they ran into a hotel and ducked into the first large room they could find. "Grab anything that isn't nailed down and shove it in front of the door!" yelled Cross. "It might slow them down some, at least!!" They grabbed a chest of drawers, tipped it on its side, and blocked the door with it, following that up with a ceramic planter, two long tables, and an assortment of chairs, napkin holders, and a radiator that the two colts managed to buck out of its floor mount. "Any...thing...else... we could use?" Cross panted.
"Let's see... here's an anvil you could have!" a bright voice chirped. Startled, Cross and Trotsthe looked behind them to discover the pink alicorn holding the aforementioned object out to them in a light-blue telekinetic glow. "Did we switch games when I wasn't looking? Is it Hide-and-Seek now? Who are we hiding from?! " she laughed, saying this last in a dramatic stage whisper. Just then, they heard the same quartzite rasp from earlier call from down the hall, "Right on your heels, Pinks!", after which there was a whoosh, and the barricaded door was blown off its hinges as heavy objects exploded outward in a rainbow corona, leaving Cross and Trotsthe tumbling tail-over-nose into the middle of the room (which, fortunately, they had cleared of furniture during their barricading effort). At the epicenter of the explosion stood, somehow unscathed, the rainbow-maned blue alicorn.
The pink alicorn mare spoke. "So... it was Dashie? Did we win?"
Seeing they were cornered, despite their best efforts, Trotsthe broke, in a similar manner as the attempted barricade just had, coughing out a confession in staccato sobs. "Field trip... stole bits... Dad's wallet... sneaked... Salt Lick... beer... blue magic... turned water... looked... saw draconequus... panicked... IT WASN'T OUR FAULT, I SWEAR TO CELESTIA!" This was what Rainbow and Pinkie understood afterwards that Trotsthe said; it was hard to understand at the time, as Cross kept kicking him at intervals, hissing, "Shut up, Trotsthe!"
"Please don't kill us!" Trotsthe whimpered.
Rainbow facehooved. "Calm down! We're not gonna kill you--we never were." Under her breath, she muttered, "Wimp...!" She looked over at Pinkie. "Right, I think we're about done here. Pinkie, can you tie these two up while I call Twi and the others?"
"Sure thing, Dashie! You know," Pinkie said to the two colts as she produced two pairs of cannon-cuffs(2) from inside her mane and locked them shut around their front legs, "you two really need more practice at tag. You were supposed to chase us...!"
Author's Note
(1) Kindness-powered calming spell, accentuated by Flutters' singing voice. Not intended to be mind control or anything.
(2) The cannon is the technical term for a horse's thigh.
Well, how do you like the new chapter? Please leave some comments. How am I supposed to know how well I'm doing if you don't tell me?
(P.S. Co-writing credit for this chapter, as well as many a hearty thank-you, goes to Storyteller27.
View Online
Interview with an Unexpected Mage
Chapter 4: Litigation Part I: Irrigation and Frustration
After delivering the two colts safely back to their parents, the Bearers returned to Silver Star's office in Appleloosa. There, the sheriff informed them that Jason's trial date had been set for Wednesday of the next week. Surprised, Twilight asked, "Why so soon, Sheriff Star?"
"Because, yer Highness, we were able to git a circuit judge to agree to preside over his trial," answered Silver Star. "'Course, like I said, y'all are welcome t' bring testimony in his defense if ya want, includin' witnesses ya may have discovered durin' th' investigation. Just make sure that Public Defender Habeas Corpus' office knows about any material y'all will bring t' bear. An' they'll inform the prosecutor, so's ever'thin' can be good an' tightly aboveboard. With this judge, both sides 'r' gonna need t' bring their "A" game on Wednesday."
"Why, specifically? Who did they find?" asked Twilight. "He can't be that bad, can he?"
"Judge Soy Bean? Oh, yes, he can. 'Round these parts, they got a nickname fer him...
"'The Hanging Judge.'"
Twilight gulped. "But... that's barbaric! Nopony's been executed by hanging since 400 years ago!"
"Yer Highness, that's what everypony calls him, maybe 'cause o' his Cutie Mark... an' we all know those can be symbolic. What I do know is, he's notoriously strict in his interpretation of the law, but he's also just as strictly fair about applyin' it. If he's given as complete a picture of what went on yesterday as both sides can manage, I c'n guarantee the critter won't be railroaded inta anythin'," replied Silver Star somberly. "That's a promise."
"A Pinkie Promise?!" Pinkie demanded. Sighing, Silver Star went through the traditional motions. This seemed to satisfy the pink alicorn, though she still glared around at everypony as if she'd caught a guilty foal snitching cookies out of her personal jar.
"Well, we've just got to put all the information we've gathered into a coherent form that would be useful to lawyers," Twilight said to those standing around her. "Thank you for your permission, Sheriff. I think it should bear some great results," she smiled. "C'mon, girls, let's get back to Canterlot. It seems we have a lot of work to do before next Wednesday!"
Over the course of the next several days, Twilight, Spike, and Owloysius were up quite late at night recording, collating, and collimating coherent records of everything they had learned from everyone involved in the human's case. Finally, though, they had it all distilled down into a neat package that Habeas Corpus' secretary, Quick Type, could turn into a court brief and copy for distribution to the Appleloosan prosecutor's office, headed by a pegasus mare by the name of Swift Justice. Before delivering it, they gathered the other five Bearers at their side for moral support, then teleported to Appleloosa. (1)
"Your Highnesses!" exclaimed Quick Type. "Please, come in! Silver Star told us to expect you at any moment! May I offer you some refreshment? With all due respect, you look a bit... stressed." It was true--Twilight's eyes were twitching independently of one another as if trying to dance a Horspanic flamenco with partners, and her mane looked as messy as Rainbow remembered it being the day they met, after her "patented Rain-blow dry" attempt to dry her off from the mud puddle.
"Coffee would be a gift from the Maker's own realm, at this point," Twilight spoke heavily. "Ugh, too early...!" She shook her head as if she were a puppy or kitten trying to shake itself dry from a dousing.
As Quick Type hurried to the office coffeemaker, Spike reached down and removed a thick padded envelope from Twilight's saddlebags. "Miss Type?" he called. "You can--" he yawned-- "keep going on getting that coffee for us, but here's what we really came to see you about." He gestured to her with the claw holding the envelope.
"Oh! Would that happen to be the rough draft of Mr.--Clavoli's, was it? Unusual name for an unusual being--legal brief?" At Spike's tired nod, her face lit with a smile. "Good! We've been waiting to get our hooves on this." Her horn lit and the package, surrounded by a light green magical aura, floated over and settled on her desk. Simultaneously, she reached the counter where the coffeemaker stood. "What size cup would you like? And do you take cream or sugar, your Highnesses?"
Pinkie squealed enthusiastically. "Cream and 37 sugars for m--mmph!" at this point, the sentence she would have continued was muffled by a glow around her mouth the color of green spring apples. Applejack glared at her.
"I think she was addressin' Twilight, sugarcube." The orange mare spoke in a quelling tone.
"I was, but the rest of you look like you could use something as well," replied Quick Type. "As long as it isn't too extreme a request; I am just one unicorn, after all. Now, Princess Twilight, how do you take your coffee?"
"At this point?" Twilight's eyes narrowed in frustration. "Darker than the blackest night and roasted in the fires of my rage." (2) She smiled sweetly at Quick Type, but her eyes were fiery, revealing her detestation of early-morning errands.
"Uh--yes, your Highness. I'll get as close as I can." Flinching, the yellow unicorn trotted over to Applejack to whisper in her ear, "She's... not about to go Nightmare on me or anything, is she?"
Applejack chuckled kindly, taking pity on the frightened public servant. "Nah, sugarcube, she's harmless. She's just notorious fer decidedly not bein' a mornin' pony."
"Oh, good..." Quick Type sighed in relief. "Saddle Arabian Dark Roast at level 8 it is, then..." She hurried to get Twilight's coffee request started, then turned to ask the rest of the Princesses standing in her office if they wanted drinks as well. Pinkie, free to speak again, called out: "Coffee for me, too, pretty-please, with cream and 37 sugars!!" She grinned widely as Rainbow and Applejack rolled their eyes in unison.
Applejack spoke next, ordering a mug of strong black tea. She lit her horn and conjured up a small crock, opening it to reveal Sweet Apple Acres' finest quality of apple preserves. Once Quick Type returned with her tea, Applejack spooned a dollop or two into the mug, then stirred it in. She picked up the resulting cup of mixture with her hoof, then downed a healthy gulp. "Ahh, now that hits the spot," she remarked in a satisfied tone. "No finer way to start a day anywhere."
Fluttershy was next to order. "I'll take any decaffeinated tea you have, please, but bring the hot water and teabag separately, um, if that's OK with you." Curious, Quick Type fulfilled Fluttershy's request, sitting back on her haunches afterward to see why a mare who had been up all night would ask for decaf. She watched as Fluttershy picked up the teabag in her magic grip, dipping it twice--no more--in the steaming water. The former pegasus then sipped the resulting... drink (one could hardly call anything that light a brew, Quick Type thought) and, to the secretary's wonder, was instantly awakened, the wrinkles and dried tears at the corners of her eyes seeming to peel off of her, as if she had just had a cup of Prench espresso with a generous dose of sugar instead. Quick Type's mouth fell open in sheer astonishment.
"Buh.. wha... How?!"
Fluttershy blushed as deeply as her mane color and hid behind her long tresses. The other alicorns laughed at the look of stunned amazement on the secretary's face. Rainbow explained, "See, Fluttershy has always reacted... kinda backwards when it comes to caffeinated drinks. I don't understand it either, but it's been this way with her ever since I've known her." She shrugged her wings. "Just one of those quirks a friend sometimes has, I guess."
Fluttershy peeked out from behind her mane. "Thank you for the tea, Miss Type. You're very kind."
Quick Type bowed to her. "Coming from you, your Highness, that means a great deal. Thank you." She smiled at Fluttershy, who blushed again, though not nearly so deeply as at first.
Rarity was next to request a drink. "Trottingham Breakfast Blend, please. Simply the perfect thing after a long night of work," she stated knowingly. "Ideally, it should be served in a fine Chineighse tea service, with milk, but one can't have everything, in an austere setting. Any cup you have will be fine, dear," she called after Quick Type. The unicorn returned with a plain brown mug of steaming reddish-brown tea... and a paper cup of milk!
"We can't do everything, your Highness, but we do what we can," smiled Quick Type. Last of all, she turned to Rainbow Dash. "What's your drink of choice, your Highness?"
Rainbow smiled. "HoBay Energy, if you got it."
Quick Type replied, smiling back, "Wait here, I'll go check." She cantered off down the hall in the direction of the employees' break room, returning triumphantly a minute or so later with the prize held high in her light green aura: a clear glass bottle about three hooves tall, embossed with the silhouettes of dragons slithering down its neck, which was filled nearly to the top with a dark red juice. "You're in luck!" she called to Rainbow, with a grin. "Last bottle in the vending machine! I've never tried this before. Looks intriguing. Can I have a taste?"
"Sure. Knock yourself out. Careful, though--it's stout stuff," Rainbow replied.
The unicorn took two sips of the maroon liquid, swallowing the first before really tasting it. She took a second into her mouth before gagging and spitting the mouthful into an empty paper cup she grabbed off a nearby desk. "Aughh! In deference to your Highnesses' presence, I won't describe what that tasted like. Bleah!" uttered Quick Type, shuddering.
Rainbow grinned. "Just wait."
True to the blue Princess' word, about five minutes later, Quick Type began to feel an expansive, zippy joy and alertness well up inside her head. "Wow...!" she exclaimed. "It's like... like somepony's playing my favorite exercise music just out of hearing range!" She looked over at Rainbow, bobbing her head in time to a melody none of the alicorns (with the possible exception of Pinkie Pie, who seemed to be rocking out to something with the same rhythm while sitting on a nearby couch) could hear. "What's in this stuff?!"
Rainbow grinned at Quick Type. "Nopony knows. Dragon flight instructors out at Horseshoe Bay invented it for their griffon clients. Gilda got me hooked on the stuff while we were at flight camp together. Tastes gross, but packs a real kick," she chuckled. "Great for a jump-start in the mornings!" (3)
"Boy, I'll say," the unicorn shot back, chuckling herself. "This stuff makes me feel like I could fly to Cloudsdale and back, (4) and have enough verve left over to run the Hosston Marathon afterwards! Wonderful choice, your Highness. In fact, now that I know they stock this here, I might just give up coffee!" She paused for a second. "Nahhh--coffee tastes better," she grinned. "I'll get right onto typing up this brief, your Highnesses. I should have it for you in a couple of hours. Shall I send a messenger to inform you when I'm done?"
"No need," Twilight spoke up, throwing out her chest and bouncing Spike off her back in the process. "Spike? Do you have that bottle of fire ready?"
"Right here, Twilight. I hit the stallion's room stall to do it for you in private,"(5) Spike replied, handing her a bottle of what looked to Quick Type like swirling green flames. Twilight lifted the bottle in her magenta telekinesis, transferring it to Quick Type's light green TK grip.
"When you're ready, just write us a note and drop it into this bottle. Rest assured, we'll get the message," Twilight said, smiling at what seemed to be some private joke.
"All right. Thanks for everything, your Highnesses!" called Quick Type, waving to the alicorns and dragon as they headed for the front door of the law offices. "See you soon!"
The princesses, while waiting for Quick Type's announcement, took some time to pursue their various passions in short bursts of activity. Twilight searched Appleloosa's public library for further precedents that could be used to bolster the case in favor of a just outcome, Applejack and Rainbow sparred in a friendly manner, Pinkie reprised her morning exercises, Fluttershy roamed Appleloosa's corrals, conversing with the dairy workers(6), and Rarity worked on plans for a new line of "Mild Western Chic" she planned on introducing someday. Soon enough, however, Spike gagged, thrust his neck out, and belched out a burst of green fire that resolved into a small note in Quick Type's meticulous hornwriting. It read, Finished, Your Highnesses. I've made three copies of the legal brief: one for the Appleloosa public record, one for Swift Justice's office, and one for us here at the Public Defender's office. You may come look them over, if you'd like, and we can discuss what's likely to transpire at Mr. Clavoli's trial.--Q.T. Twilight sent a telepathic call (7) to her friends, and they all met up at the bottom of the library steps to go back to Habeas Corpus' office together.
"You were right, your Highness," Quick Type called, waving to Twilight and her friends as the six of them came in for a landing, "the dragonfire bottle worked! Come in and we can look at the brief together!" However, as the six of them entered the building, Fluttershy told the secretary, "Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, the only one of us here who's had anything even approaching legal training is Twilight. What could the rest of us possibly be able to contribute? Maybe we should wait out here in the hallway while you and Twilight go look it over... if that's okay with you, of course..." With a squeak of embarrassment, Fluttershy hid one eye behind her mane, keeping the other on Quick Type to see what she would decide.
Quick Type reared in mild shock. "But--but, your Highness... you're a Princess! You're an alicorn! Surely that means you have a better grasp on what it means to rule than most ponies-in-the-street would have... doesn't it?!"
"We've only all been alicorns for a bit over a month," responded Fluttershy. "I just don't know if I can do this...!" She sank to the floor, forehooves covering her head as she cowered in misery.
"What are you talking about?" exclaimed Quick Type. "An alicorn, having self-doubt?? But... you're the wisest of all ponies! Celestia and Luna are..." she trailed off, her head spinning.
"That's just it!" Fluttershy cried. (8) "Celestia and Luna are that wise because they've been around for the last thousand years or more! We haven't!! Ohhh!" The former pegasus stood to her hooves abruptly, turning on her back right hoof to run for the door.
"Your Highness! Wait! We can--" Quick Type's words were abruptly cut off as the office door slammed closed with a loud boom, Fluttershy making good her escape. The secretary wondered what to do, but fortunately for her, she was spared the necessity of a long explanation by Rainbow Dash's abrupt entrance. "I thought I heard Fluttershy scream! Which way did she go?!" demanded the speedster.
"She panicked over a... discussion... we were having, and ran out of the building," Quick Type explained. "I'm not sure where she went after that. I didn't see her leave, only heard it...." She hung her head. "She was saying some awfully strange things, Princess Dash. You need to find her, as quickly as you can. In her state of mind, I'm not sure what she's going to do..."
Author's Note
(1) I admit there's a lot of teleporting going on, but they did just "recharge" with a nap and a good breakfast chapter before last, so... (Also, going meta, it seems like a good quick way to move the action along.)
(2) kirbuu's joke a little earlier than I'd intended... Oh, well. *shrug* Just one of those things that happens sometimes, I guess. Enjoy!
(3) A shout-out to one of my favorite RL energy drinks... Guess which?
(4) A unicorn. Flying. Without wings or magic. Think about that for a second.
(5) Nobody wants to see a dragon hawking up loogies, after all--even if they are gouts of flame.
(6) Cows, of course. Maybe a goat or camel here and there, too--who knows?
(7) There is precedent in the show for this; I could've sworn I've seen Celestia and Luna conversing with one another without moving their lips at least once.
(8) An outcry for Fluttershy might be something like this. Heh.
I hope you enjoy the new chapter!
View Online
Interview with an Unexpected Mage
Chapter 5: Litigation Part II: Perquisition and Preparation
"Omygosh omygosh omygosh... Fluttershy!" Rainbow shouted, but due to the speed of her new flight capabilities, her friend was already out of earshot. Rainbow zoomed for the nearest window, scattering papers like tree leaves.
"Your Highness, wait! I need to explain--" but Rainbow was no longer there. Quick Type sighed and began using her magic to restack the scattered documents. She was interrupted, however, by the sudden appearance--literally; they teleported--of Twilight, Rarity and Applejack.
"Consarn it, girl, what'n the sam hill's goin' on here?!" Applejack accused. "How come Rainbow took off like that?!"
"Because Princess Fluttershy did first," admitted Quick Type shamefacedly. "It was my fault--I suppose I shouldn't have pressed her like I did... She was actually very reluctant to participate in the review of the brief I've put together, though I don't know why she would be that timid about it. You are all Princesses and alicorns, after all."
Applejack suddenly understood what the matter was. "Sugarcube, one thing ya gotta understand about Fluttershy is that she's always been timid, an' gainin' a fancy new horn an' stronger hooves ain't gonna change that, any more than Twilight here stopped bein' a panicky bookworm when Celestia's involved just 'cause she got wings. Bein' an alicorn doesn't mean ya quit bein' a pony--it just means ya got extra power and the responsibilities that come with it. Obviously Fluttershy reared shy o' that an' ran off. We need ta find 'em, an' if I know that gal, Fluttershy probably headed out somewhere there's lots o' nature to simmer down some. Anywhere nearby like that?"
"Well, there's the geyser a few miles outside of town. Old Magical, we call it, because it sustains life in a spot where some ponies really think it shouldn't happen. There are all sorts of creatures who gather up around there to eat the grass and other plants that grow where its waters hit the ground. Maybe she'd go there?"
"That's a distinct possibility," Twilight responded. She focused on sending Rainbow a message. Rainbow, come back! We think we have a lead on where Fluttershy is! She then focused on listening for a response. One came back, rather thinned out, as if its sender was a great distance away.
That you, Twilight? Still sorta new to hear you talkin' in my head like this... Did you say you think you know where Fluttershy is?
Excitedly, yet urgently, Twilight sent back, Yes! Look for a place around the outside of town that looks like an oasis--lots of plants, with maybe a pool or lake of water at the center. She should be somewhere around there. If you spot her, let us know where she is, and go stay with her until we get there, okay?
Oddly, the next thing Twilight received through her mental link was the feeling of a salute. Will do, she "heard" Rainbow say. Come quick, okay? The link faded, and she turned to the other ponies.
"I've told Rainbow Dash what you said, Quick Type, and I believe it's narrowed our search area considerably. Thank you for your help," Twilight told the unicorn secretary.
Quick Type blushed. "You're welcome, Your Highness, but all I did was answer the question you asked. Sure, I know the area better than you may, but you did most of the work."
"Which direction is "Old Magical" from here?" asked Rarity. "Poor Fluttershy must be exhausted. Are there any towels or blankets close at hoof I could borrow for a time? We may need them."
"The closest place to get blankets or towels, I think," replied Quick Type, "is the jailhouse back at Sheriff Silver Star's office. They keep a stock of them for the prisoners' use. And Old Magical is about fifteen miles east of here. I hope you can find Princess Fluttershy, your Highnesses. We still need to look over the brief I've transcribed." She turned toward the break room. "I could use some nourishment after all this stress..." Her voice trailed off as she walked down the hall.
"While Rainbow's looking for Fluttershy, let's go back to the sheriff's office and get those blankets and towels you mentioned, Rarity," said Twilight. "Then we can catch up with Rainbow." The three princesses galloped for the door of the law offices, only stopping to retrieve Pinkie, who was busily scheming to raid the main floor's vending machine.
"Sheriff, Quick Type said you had blankets or towels you could spare. May we borrow some of them? Fluttershy's missing, and we may need to dry her off and warm her up once we find her." Twilight's brow furrowed in worry for her friend.
"Why, sure, yer Highness. I hope y'all c'n find her. Take as many as ya need... we just need them back eventually."
"Thank you, Sheriff. We won't forget this," Twilight said gratefully. Each of the four alicorns present picked up two blankets and two towels, then they all proceeded back down the hallway from the laundry room, happening to pass by Jason's cell door on the way. Curious about what the four of them were doing with the textiles, Jason called out, "What's going on, ladies, Sheriff?"
"Ain't none o' yer business, ya riotin' varmint--" Silver Star began to retort hotly, but Applejack overrode him with just a touch of the Royal Canterlot Voice. "Ahem. Sheriff, I know ya mean well, but I've started thinkin' Mr. Clavoli's story is purty close ta the actual facts o' what's gone on here lately, so if'n ya don't MIND...!" Gaping and mildly embarrassed, the lawpony closed his mouth, silenced.
"Now then, sugarcube, the story is that Fluttershy got kinda overwhelmed at the thought o' helpin' the rest of us organize yer defense, an' she's done gone an' run off. Rainbow Dash is out lookin' for her, an' the rest of us were about ta go an' join her in the search. Wanna come along, or...?" she paused, a subtle, yet penetrating look coming into her eyes.
"I truly wish I could, Princess Applejack," Jason replied. "But my main purpose in coming here was to discuss something important with Princess Twilight, and breaking jail would certainly interfere with that. It would give the prosecutor more ammunition to use against me at my trial, which would possibly result in a stiffer sentence, and thus a delay in our discussion. I can't afford that, so I'm staying here. Please convey my deepest apologies to Princesses Fluttershy and Rainbow once you locate the two of them." He stood to his feet and bowed from the waist, crossing his left arm over his chest diagonally.
"That's jest what I thought ya'd do, Jason!" Applejack exclaimed, breaking out in a brilliant smile. "If ya had agreed ta come along, despite the rules against jailbreaking, I'd'a known ya were the kinda critter who was most likely capable o' whatever charges Appleloosa's levelin' against ya. Now, though, I c'n say I'll be pleased as punch ta testify on yer behalf at that trial! Yee-haw!" She reared onto her back legs, waving her cowfilly hat in the air joyously.
"It was... a test, then? A hidden test of my character?" Jason looked briefly taken aback; then, an amused expression sparkled in his eyes, emerging onto the rest of his face in a grin. "You ponies have been hanging around Princess Celestia too long...!" he laughed, shaking his head. "Know that my thoughts and prayers will go with you for Fluttershy and Rainbow's safety, however. I wish you a safe journey and a quick return, your Highnesses!" Jason said, waving goodbye from where he was seated on his cell's bunk. However, this was a bit premature, as Twilight turned back and returned to the cell door, apparently for a private word with Jason.
"If you want to talk, I'm listening," she said in low tones. Jason's features flashed to an instant or three of startlement at the offer, but he shook his head.
"Not now, your Highness, and not here. You have other things to concern yourself with, and besides, the walls of any public place have ears. What I have to give you is too serious, too special for casual eavesdroppers to get their horns, wings or hooves on it. We need to discuss it somewhere you have absolute say in who overhears it and who doesn't." The human smiled suddenly. "And, speaking for myself, I'd just plain like it better if I could tell you back at Books and Branches. Somepony's home has to be better for that kind of chat than some drafty old jail cell, right? Go find the Bearers of Loyalty and Kindness, and deal with their problem. I'm not going anywhere--I'm certainly not leaving Equis' dimension before we have this talk. See you soon, Princess Twilight." He waved as she broke into a canter to catch up with her friends.
As the four friends set hooves at the edge of town, Applejack turned to Twilight. "Sugarcube, if'n you can communicate t'Rainbow mind-to-mind, why didn't ya try that with Fluttershy in the first place?"
Twilight facehooved. "Why didn't I think of that?!" She focused on sending Fluttershy a message. Fluttershy? Where are you? No response came back. She extended her magical senses eastward, "looking" for Fluttershy's emotional signature. She still didn't detect her friend, but in that direction, right about where Quick Type had told them Old Magical stood, she sensed a strong miasma that "smelled" of despair. Just as she released her grip and returned back into physicality, she "heard" Rainbow shout, Found her, you guys! She ducked back under the surface of her magical font and threw out a line of communication to Rainbow. I spotted her, too! I'll tell the others! Stay with her! We're on our way! She whirled to Applejack and Rarity. "Rainbow and I found her, but there's something seriously odd going on. To Old Magical, girls! There may not be a second to waste!" Touching their horns together, they once again charged up Twilight's teleport spell. Twilight focused on both Rainbow's location and the location of the cloud of despair she'd detected, and flashed all four of them to a spot roughly halfway between both.
Rainbow Dash, spotting them, came zooming in for a landing. "There's something really weird going on here," was what she greeted them with. "Flutters has been sitting out here for the last hour, or so she told me, crying her eyes out over every cutie-mark-related failure she's ever had in her whole life. I've tried to get through to her, but when I put a hoof on her shoulder in support, I started remembering the Best Young Fliers' Competition when I wasn't feeling so hot about my chances... remember that day in the locker room at the Cloudiseum, Rares?"
"I certainly do, Rainbow Dash." Rarity dropped her eyes, sudden shame causing her face to redden for how she'd treated Dash that day. The others heard her mutter to herself, "How could I? Not a proper lady...! Impostor..." as she winced, tears filling her eyes.
Pinkie opened her mouth to tell Rarity to cheer up, but closed it abruptly, tears filling her own eyes as her usually-bouncy curls deflated like a pricked balloon. "Not one of you liked my after-birthday party for Gummy..." she muttered. "And who am I to talk to other ponies about breaking Pinkie Promises since I've done it myself?! Oh, Rainbow, I'm so super-duper sorry... Poor Cheese, I should've let him do your birthiversary--he's better at this than I am anyway...!!" She too burst into tears, collapsing onto Rainbow's withers as she flung a foreleg around her friend's neck and wailed.
Applejack reared. "Now, wait just an applebuckin' minute, here, y'all! What's goin' on here...?!" She began trying to reason her friends out of their sudden sorrowful mood, but stopped and began mumbling to herself as well. "Made the entire town throw up... nearly lost us all the Acres... almost got Granny killed at that dern-fool high-dive competition...who'm I to talk? Honesty?!" She chuckled bitterly to herself. "Not likely, ya bloomin' idjit... runnin' out on my own family over some blue ribbons--they're better than I deserve," Twilight heard her whisper as tears began to slide out of her green eyes and trickle down to drip off her face.
Twilight suddenly realized that the cloud of despair she'd "seen" with her arcane sense before they arrived must have affected her friends as well! She opened her mouth to tell them what was going on, but unfortunately inhaled a bit of it herself as she began to speak. "Girls--" Suddenly she found herself remembering her own failures: her near-disastrous entrance exam at the School for Gifted Unicorns, the Want-It Need-It spell causing all of Ponyville to go insane over her stuffed study-buddy Smarty Pants, her unsupported accusation of Cadence at her brother's wedding (along with Celestia's stern glares at her during both incidents), even how she'd swapped her friends' Cutie Marks and destinies with Starswirl's incomplete ascension spell. You, a magician? Ha! Don't make me laugh, she heard herself think... at least, it sounded like herself. "Wait--no! " She coughed deliberately, seeking to hack up the odd gaseous substance that had infiltrated her lungs--and her mind. "This isn't true! Girls, don't listen!" she cried to her friends. "Whatever this thing is, it's some kind of magically-transmitted lie! We didn't fail, remember?!" She struggled to make her friends hear her. "Open your eyes and look at one another! We made it through those failures, eventually, and we did succeed in the end! We wouldn't be alicorns now if we hadn't! Girls!" None of them appeared to hear her, lost as they all were in their own pounding repetitions of condemnation. Desperately, Twilight charged her horn. If she couldn't get them to listen, she'd do the next best thing...
In a brilliant purple flash, the six alicorns vanished from Old Magical and reappeared on Appleloosa's main thoroughfare. Twilight's horn and wings (1) glowed brightly as she conjured a number of consecutive stiff gusts of wind to clear the yellow (2) gas from her lungs and those of her friends. Breathing deeply, all of them blinked as if just awakening from nightmares, and looked at one another.
"What in tarnation--"
"What the hay--"
"was that thing?!" Applejack and Rainbow Dash finished in unison.
"Some kind of magical cloud intended to induce self-recrimination in whoever inhales it, apparently," Twilight said, between gulps of fresh air. "I'm not sure what's going on. Let's get back to Sheriff Star's office. Oh, by the way, that reminds me--Fluttershy, are you all right physically?" She looked over at her friend with concern in her eyes.
"I think so. Why?"
"We brought these towels and blankets for you, if you need them. I was wondering if you do," Twilight replied, gesturing with her horn at the loads she and the others were carrying.
"I don't need the blankets. Pegasi and alicorns don't feel temperature extremes the way other ponies do," Fluttershy said. "But thank you all for thinking of me--and I think we could all use those towels." She looked around her at Twilight and the rest of her friends, most of whom were either stained with sweat (in Twilight's case) or drying tear-salts.
"You're right. Let's go in, freshen up a little, then get these back to the jail's laundry room," replied Twilight. Matching actions to words, they proceeded into the office's public restroom.
After returning the borrowed cloth items to the jailhouse's laundry, the six mares returned to the law office. Quick Type bolted to her hooves as she saw them enter.
"Your Highnesses!" She bowed deeply, nose brushing the carpet. "You were gone an awfully long time. Did something happen?"
"We're... still trying to work out the details," Twilight hedged, not wanting to panic the secretary over something that might be none of her business at present. "I do want to make a royal recommendation to your mayor after we get through here, however. What about this court brief you were wanting us to look over?" Quick Type motioned with her horn.
"Over here, Princess Twilight." She gestured to a neat stack of white legal paper with typewritten characters on it. "As I said, all of you are welcome to look it over." The secretary smiled at the six alicorns.
"Heh, don't look at me," Rainbow sheepishly cupped her right hoof around the back of her own head. "Closest I ever get to this stuff is renewing my city weather license every year back in Ponyville."
"Same with my public solicitation license that lets the Apple Family sell our apples in the market square," Applejack replied. "But I reckon I had to pay a mite closer attention than you, Rainbow Dash. Lemme have a gander at it." She used her magic to rifle through the pages. "Not sure if it's set up right, but what's in it looks like the facts o' how this all went down, so at least it's fine as far as all that." She set the brief back down on the desk and stepped back as Twilight levitated it over to herself.
"All right, let's see here..." Twilight pulled a page labeled "Table of Contents" free, separating it from the rest of the bundle, and began looking back and forth as she compared it to the parts of the document it spelled out. "Title, case number, court of jurisdiction, respondent identification, originating court, name and address..." she began to mumble to herself as she recited the parts of the brief. After several minutes of this, she put the brief back onto Quick Type's desk. "This is good work. I'm impressed, Quick Type. The brief is well-constructed. The conclusion neatly summarizes everything we've told you happened. And the arguments are as well-organized and concise as any I've seen come up in front of Celestia's Day Court." She blinked. "With this kind of talent and utilization skills, why aren't you working in Canterlot?" she asked, her surprise evident on her face.
"Two reasons, your Highness," Quick Type responded seriously. "First, everybeing deserves an equal representation before the law, no matter how many legs they stand on, who they are, or where they live. Secondly... I like the climate out here better. The dry air suits me, I suppose..." The unicorn mare grinned suddenly, an impish twinkle flaring briefly in her eye. "Plus there's enough of it to breathe, unlike up on mountains like the Canterhorn." She grumbled mock-seriously under her breath, "Idiotic pampered weatherpony softies..." Then she winked at the mares standing before her. "Thank you for the glowing praise, your Highness. The mayor's office is just a couple of blocks to the left of here. I'll see you next Wednesday for the trial!" she said, rising to escort the alicorns out of her reception room.
"Very well, and thank you for your patience, your hard work--" Rarity started to say, but was interrupted by Pinkie Pie.
"Oo! And the drinks, don't forget the drinks! Mine was super-delicious!!" She grinned and threw her forelegs around a startled Quick Type in a sudden hug before whirling around and galloping out after her friends.
"Pinkie Pie, honestly, did no one ever tell you it's rude to interrupt?!" Rarity frowned severely at the party filly.
"Yah-huh! Why do you ask?" Pinkie replied, grinning brightly.
Rarity started to say, "Because it-- oh, never mind...!!" She broke off her statement exasperatedly, rolling her eyes. They continued walking toward the Appleloosa Mayor's office.
Author's Note
"Perquisition" means to find and recover something that was lost. (In this case, somepony--Fluttershy, to be specific.) Thank you , Internet thesauri!
(1) Her horn for summoning, and her wings because it was weather magic.
(2) Invisible to the naked eye, but in her magical senses, it "looked" that color.
Enjoy! Questions, comments, complaints... squeals of delight?
View Online
Interview with an Unexpected Mage
Chapter 6: Nightmares and Revelations (Interlude II)
Chapter 6: Nightmares and Revelations (Interlude II)
Chapter 6: Interlude II: Nightmares and Revelations
Arriving on the Mayor's doorstep, Twilight and her friends wasted no time, proceeding into the lobby and asking the receptionist if the Mayor was in. "We need to see him right away; it's a matter of public health and safety," Twilight told the unicorn stallion behind the front desk.
"O-of course, your Highnesses," stammered the luckless receptionist. "I'll contact him and see if he's taking visitors at the moment." He walked through an inner doorway, where they heard him conversing in a low voice with another pony--whether stallion or mare, they couldn't quite discern, as the two were almost whispering, even to their enhanced senses. Finally, the receptionist emerged, beckoning them toward the office with a gesture of his horn. "His honor will see you now, your Highnesses," he said, bowing as the Bearers passed by him into the inner office where Appleloosa's mayor waited, scowling.
"Your Highnesses," he greeted them, coldly. "My secretary has informed me you wish to speak to me about a... "health and safety matter," as I believe he phrased it, that concerns not merely Appleloosa, but the whole of the Mild West?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, Mr. Mayor. It concerns the geyser fifteen miles east of town, colloquially known as 'Old Magical.' Something's gone dangerously awry with it," Twilight replied. "A cloud of black magic, of unknown origin and purpose, has settled over the geyser and its immediate area. We must all mutually declare an immediate quarantine of the area, for the sake of all who depend on that water source!"
"Princess Sparkle, let us not be overly hasty," replied the mayor. "It is a precise fact that Appleloosa does depend on Old Magical for most of its water, though rationing can be achieved with teams of pegasi to deliver rainclouds in successive lines. But what makes you so certain that such an extreme step as a quarantine has become necessary in such a short time??"
"Personal experience," she replied grimly. "My fellow Bearers of the Elements of Harmony and I have just returned from a close personal encounter with that cloud, and I can tell you here and now that the risk of its proximity to a major water source makes it nothing any sane, emotionally healthy pony--or other quadruped, for that matter--would willingly dare twice without protection."
"Your Highness, please, surely you must realize that a... disruption of this nature to the daily orderly functioning of this town would drastically curtail the quality of life here--"
"Not t'mention yer chances fer reelection, am I right?" Applejack interrupted. The mayor's smooth talk (for such it was now revealed to be) spluttered to a halt as he gaped like a landed fish. "I--I must protest, your Highness--"
"Quit yer fussin'," Applejack retorted. "I been a pen-pal with my cousin Braeburn fer years--he's told me all about how ya really run this town. Kickbacks on civic improvements, "special presents" ta yer friends, mysterious thickets o' red tape that "just happen" ta spring up in the paths of yer political enemies... Kinda dishonest, ain't it?!"she finished, glaring at the mayor, who with each phrase from the orange alicorn's mouth had sunk lower and lower in his seat until, by now, he was curled into practically a bun shape on his office floor, quivering under her wrath.
"S-S-Surely, your Highnesses, we can come to some sort of... agreement, regarding this--c-clear and present e-ecological danger to my fair town?" he quavered. "No... harsher measures--need be considered, I-I assure you," he gulped, finally catching his breath. "What do you recommend be done?" he asked, looking flinchingly from Applejack to Twilight and back again.
"We 'recommend,'" said Twilight somewhat archly, "that physical proximity to Old Magical be prohibited to any sapient lacking protective gear or spells within a diameter of..." she paused, doing calculations in her head, "... approximately eight miles, for the duration of this crisis. That should be sufficient," she said, nodding. "Mr. Mayor? You'd better get started on that water-rationing operation you mentioned before, hadn't you?" Wordlessly, he nodded back. "Well, we'll leave you to it, then. Come on, girls," she said, turning to lead them out the door leading to the main hallway. "We need to break the news to the townsponies gently."
A job well-done, Twilight thought to herself as she prepared for bed that night, back in her chambers in Canterlot. A bit rough in spots, but I'm not sure that obstructionist, corrupt, selfish "Mayor" left us any other choice. At least Applejack and Pinkie had managed to smooth things over with the Appleloosans: AJ with her straightforward appraisal of why the quarantine was necessary, and Pinkie with her usual flair, throwing the townsponies a "Hurray! You've Avoided Breathing-In Sadness" Party... Twilight chuckled to herself, remembering the nonplussed looks on several of the citizens' faces when they read that banner. Today was a good day... tomorrow may be even better, she thought drowsily to herself as she crawled beneath her bedsheets and telekinetically extinguished the lights in her bedroom. "Good night, Spike," she called out softly, but her assistant was already snoring the night away in his basket at the foot of her bed. Smiling to herself, the purple alicorn snuggled deep into her covers and closed her eyes, drifting gradually into the rapid-eye movement stage of sleep in which Equestrian ponies (particularly unicorns and alicorns) were able to fellowship with the Maker.
This night, however, all was not well in Twilight's inner universe. As she floated through skies of nebulae and densely-lit galaxies, the same voice she had heard in her mind that afternoon, at Old Magical, returned to haunt her. Seriously? You think you got those wings on merit? The voice masquerading as hers snorted. Don't make me laugh. Celestia's just manipulating you like she always has, her unseen assailant continued. And those "friends" of yours? Please. They'll eventually abandon you to your world of books just like Moondancer and the others in Canterlot did... You'll be isolated. Alone. Isolated. Alone. Isolated. Alone. Isolated. Alone. Isolated. Alone... The voice echoed around her, growing louder. Cringing, Twilight was forcibly reminded of her worst fear, as Sombra's secret chamber door had once shown it to her: Celestia abandoning her after a failed test, uncaringly turning her back on her and leaving the throne room as stone-faced Royal Guards gripped her shoulders roughly and train-marched (1) her to the door. Beyond it this time, however, was no bright sunny day as was usual in the waking world, but a black, starless abyss that gaped hungrily. Its edges seemed to flicker with flames as the unyielding grip of the guards pushed her ever closer. Writhing in sudden panic, Twilight tried to cast a spell to free herself, but found her horn as limp as it had been the day she and her friends had first encountered Poison Joak. "Noooo!" she screamed, as the guards tossed her through the air toward the doorway--
"ENOUGH!!" The Royal Canterlot Voice reverberated like thunder through the "throne room" and its hellish doorway, dissolving the setting like smoke that blew away on its winds. Twilight found herself standing on the same starry path she had visited the day she ascended to alicornhood, Princess Luna standing before her, her mane drifting in an unfelt breeze.
"Twilight. Do you believe that those words which were spoken of thee and thy friends were true?" Luna asked, her expression severe.
"No! Of course not, Luna! But... what's going on here?" Though she was no longer in the nightmare, Twilight was still shaken and bewildered, unable to fathom why she was being attacked in her sleep by something she had managed to resist in the waking world, though with a good deal of effort. "There's got to be a reason for these... these assaults," she said pleadingly.
"Indeed." The nocturnal princess turned, beckoning with a wing. "Come, let us rest and discuss these events," she continued, guiding Twilight to a table set with a tea service for two alicorn-sized quadrupeds. Once she and Twilight had taken their seats, and poured themselves each a cup of chamomile suitably dosed with lemon, milk or sugar according to their preferences, Luna lit her horn, projecting the scenes of Twilight's nightmare and her confrontation at Old Magical up onto the "screens" which Celestia had used to review Twilight's life in Ponyville. "Each time, this... voice... hath spoken condemnatory statements to thee with force enow to "drive home the point," I believe is the modern expression, accompanying it as well with visions of memories to support its argument, yet not telling the complete story. Instead, it breaks off its presentation before the true nature of events can come to light, leaving thee despairing--or so its speaker seems to be hoping," she finished, with a note of grimness in her voice. "Think a moment, Twilight Sparkle. What would somebeing hope to gain from this stratagem?"
Twilight sipped about half a cup of the steaming tea in an effort to calm herself before replying. "Magic in Equestria is related fairly strongly to the emotional states of its casters," she mused. "Would this... creature, whoever it is, have an interest in disrupting our magic? If ponies couldn't use magic, we'd be more or less defenseless against an attacker, wouldn't we?"
"Verily," Luna replied. "Thus, this would seem to be an... assault, as thou phrased it, against not just thee and thy friends, but against Equestrian national security as well. Considered on that basis, what might this mysterious attacker have in mind as its ultimate goal?"
Twilight gasped. The answer was as obvious now as the horn on her head. "The Elements of Harmony! This... creature... wants to disrupt our connections to the Elements!" Her eyes grew huge as the realization dawned. "Are the rest of the girls going through similar nightmares to mine?!"
"Yes. As a matter of plain fact, thine was the last of the series of six I have visited this night. Thou and thy friends seem to have much to discuss, Twilight Sparkle." Luna's expression remained grim, but there was a sudden twinkle in her eye. "Also, I believe thou hast, already, access to the source of help thou hast requested." Horn lighting again, she projected another of Twilight's memories onto the screen, this time with audio: a replay of her conversation with Jason earlier that same day.
"I've come here specifically to discuss something with you, your Highness... my main purpose in coming here was to discuss something important with Princess Twilight... What I have to give you is too serious, too special for casual eavesdroppers to get their horns, wings or hooves on it..."
"You mean... Jason might know something about this? Like why it's going on, or who's responsible?!" Twilight's eyes bulged in shock.
"More than that, dear little sister. He mayest hold the key to defeating this most mysterious foe," Luna said, her eyes gleaming with an unusually martial joy. "Go forth, awaken now, reunite with thy fellow Bearers, and take the adventure that comes to thee this day, Twilight Sparkle. We shall meet again anon!" Luna rose backwards from her seat into the sky, wings spreading as a compression hole formed with the moon at its center, drawing her in and closing as she receded down the resulting tunnel.
With a startled gasp, Twilight awoke. Scrambling from her bed, she hit the floor and charged through her bedroom doorway into her sitting room, skidding to a sudden halt as she discovered her friends already gathered there waiting for her, seated in a nearly complete circle of chairs, save for one empty one for her, arranged around a low table upon which Pinkie and Rarity had apparently worked together to place an assortment of tea snacks. Pinkie was busily munching on a sugar wafer that inexplicably contained, by the look of it, at least five distinct flavors of frosting: chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, peanut butter, and what looked like dark-amber maple syrup. The plate had apparently originally contained two to three times as many wafers, but, equally apparently, Pinkie had been waiting a while for Twilight to arrive and had gotten hungry... or bored--with her it was sometimes hard to tell the difference.
Sighing, Twilight seated herself in the empty chair in the circle, helped herself to an eclair and some Earl Grey tea, and spoke. "Can I take it from the fact that you're all here already that Luna told you girls what's going on?" She received nods and murmurs of agreement from each of her friends. "Did she tell each of you, too, that Jason Clavoli might know the key to stopping some kind of magical holocaust from overtaking Equestria?"
"Eeyup, sugarcube, she did. How'd you guess?" Applejack stretched, arching her neck and back in an effort to work out seeming kinks from sitting still too long.
"Because she told me the exact same thing, although maybe not in so many words. I think we need to get to Appleloosa and visit Sheriff Silver Star as soon as Celestia raises the sun. Agreed?"
Pinkie swallowed her last mouthful of sugar wafer, and spoke. "Uh-huh. If ponies lose their magic, they'll get sad, and that would be awful." She frowned, her hair losing some of its usual bounce.
Rainbow Dash was next to speak. "If Luna hadn't shown me, I wouldn't have believed it. A guy like that knows something crucial that can save Equestria from some monster?! Come on...!" She threw her front hooves into the air in a V of frustration.
"Rainbow, you're just upset because he stopped ya from beatin' him up. Calm down," Applejack said tartly. "Equestria's more important than anypony's grudge."
"I guess you're right..." Rainbow muttered. "But I'm going to have words with him someday about this." She scowled darkly.
"We must avail ourselves of any source of help we can, dears," Rarity said. "The crimes against fabulosity such a creature would commit...!" She seethed. "If there is even the slightest chance we can prevent this, I for one am willing to pledge my last drops of life, blood and magic to the effort to do so! The very idea...!" She all but growled under her breath at the memory of whatever Luna had shown her.
Fluttershy spoke up next. "That MEANIE! How dare he want to try to level the Everfree Forest?! All those poor homeless, defenseless animals...! He will NOT! Get! Away! With This!" she cried in a tone reminiscent of the one in her voice the day they'd all gone to confront the snoring red dragon.
"So... I take it we're agreed, then? Let's get to Appleloosa and talk with Silver Star as soon as Celestia--finishes raising the sun," Twilight amended, for she could see the sky outside her sitting-room window already turning grey. "We've got plans to make."
Author's Note
(1) Train-marched: what I consider to be the quadrupedal equivalent of frog-marching someone around, this consists of forcing the creature in question (Twilight, in this case) to move along the floor without lifting its feet/hooves/etc. from the ground, resulting in something that looks like the old Looney Tunes cartoons of the movements of a cat/dog/other creature moving like a train starting up: Left side forward in tandem, then right side forward in tandem, repeat.
Well! The plot thickens... Where will it lead? We shall see. (This isn't going to be the typical HiE approach either, don't worry.
View Online
Interview with an Unexpected Mage
Chapter 7: Litigation Part III: Trials, Negotiations, and Consternations
Mutually deciding to fly to Appleloosa rather than teleport, if only to give the townsponies time to get up and around and increase the chances that the sheriff's office would be open for business by the time they got there, Twilight and her friends landed in town and proceeded once again up the main street toward Silver Star's office. Twilight knocked on the door with a hoof.
"Sheriff!" she called. "It's us, Twilight Sparkle and friends! We're here to negotiate Jason Clavoli's early release! Something's come up we need his help with!!"
"Yer Highnesses," Silver Star replied, bowing in respect as he opened the office door, "I did already tell ya that Appleloosa needs ta see justice done here, didn't I? The trial has to go forward as planned, if'n ya don't want ponies thinkin' you're tryin' ta play favorites 'r somethin'. What's the big rush all of a sudden?"
"He may have information which will prove crucial to Equestria's national defense," replied Twilight intensely. The look in her violet eyes caused Silver Star to back up a few hooves.
"That could be a pony of a different color, there, yer Highness," the sheriff mused soberly. "But, if'n ya don't mind some friendly advice? Let the trial proceed as planned. If'n he's innocent, thar's no harm in the truth comin' t' light, is there? An' if he's guilty... incitement ta riot is one of the least harshly punished offenses in all o' Equestria. Don't worry, he'll be fine. I c'n see to it personally, if that'd set y'alls minds ta restin' easier on this here matter."
"We'd greatly appreciate it, Sheriff," Rarity put in. "Thank you ever so much."
"But--" Twilight objected. "We don't know how imminent this threat to the nation is, or even quite what it is, specifically! We might not have time to wait for him to serve a sentence!!"
"Land sakes, yer Highness, if'n ya need his advice that badly," Silver Star exclaimed, "why not interrogate him here?! I c'n set guards at the doorways, if need be..."
"And we could always soundproof the doorways and windows ourselves, dear," Rarity put in. "Not many noises have any chance of getting through an alicorn-level soundproofing spell, you know." She smiled at her friend and sometime leader.
"I suppose you're right..." Twilight replied. "He wanted to do this back at the library, but with what Luna's told us, this situation has become too unstable to wait just for the sake of comfort." She took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly, engaging in her sister-in-law's (by now well-practiced) calming ritual. "Let's do this, girls." She turned and led them down the hallway to Cell 3A once again.
"The rest of us will see to the soundproofing effort while you chat with him, darling, then you can come along later and give it an extra layer, just to 'seal the deal,' as dear Applejack might put it," Rarity told Twilight, as she turned to lead the others back up the wooden corridor.
"Back again, your Highnesses?" Jason called in greeting. "I see you've managed to retrieve Rainbow and Fluttershy. Mission accomplished, then?" he asked, smiling.
"Not exactly," Twilight replied. She teleported to the street outside Jason's cell window, zapped it with the strongest soundproofing spell she knew, then returned to the doorway in the same fashion. "Princess Luna has been helping us with the aftermath of a personal attack we suffered at Old Magical while finding Fluttershy. And she mentioned you might know something about the attacker."
"A personal attack?!" Jason jumped up from the bunk, alarmed. "What kind of attack? Did you see who was doing it?!"
"We didn't," Twilight's face became grim. "It consisted of some kind of... disembodied voice speaking inside our minds, condemning us for failures we, all and each, thought we'd outlived, gotten past, or dealt with already. Ring any bells?"
"Unfortunately, yes." Jason scowled. "Given this is a different universe from my home one, he may go by a different name here... but the modus operandi is unmistakable. You're dealing with someone my homeworld calls by a lot of different names... but the one he's most often identified by translates into both my native tongue and Equestrian as 'the Accuser.' Fitting, isn't it? I don't know how, why, or even who's responsible... but somehow you girls have fallen afoul of the Maker's personal foe himself."
Twilight gasped. "You mean... Tirek?! The Soul-Drinker?! But... that's impossible! He's locked within Tartarus, the Inescapable Prison that houses all of Equus' worst enemies! The only possible way he could have escaped is if Cer--" She broke off suddenly, facehoofing. "Oh no. Tell me that's not--" She said to Jason, "Would you excuse me for a minute?" then turned and galloped back up the hall, yelling, "FLUTTERSHY!"
"Yes, Twilight?" The butter-colored alicorn turned to her friend. "Oh my...! What's got you so upset?"
"Do you remember, about..." Twilight paused. "...three or four years ago, during that week right after we used the Elements to petrify Discord for what turned out to be the last time?"
"The week you were trying to 'disaster-proof Equestria' because you'd met yourself from the future?"
"Yeah, that week." Twilight grimaced. "And you and I returned Cerberus to guarding the gates of Tartarus?"
"Yes, what about it, Twilight?"
"Remember how we were hoping none of the monsters in there had escaped while Cerberus was away?" She grimaced again. "I think we missed one."
"Hear ye, hear ye..."
The bailiff's traditional call for attention rang out over the gathered crowd in Appleoosa's courthouse. The whole town had turned out today. Nopony would have risked missing what was sure to be what the Equestrian news services were (somewhat sensationalistically, Twilight thought) calling "THE TRIAL OF THE MILLENNIUM"--the day Jason Clavoli, alleged draconequus, would face justice for his crime of "willfully spreading panic and despair among our fair populace," as one of the Appleoosan newspapers had put it "after an interview with a trusted source close to the Mayor's office." "Trusted source", my left hindquarter, Twilight thought scornfully to herself. If that quote wasn't from the Mayor himself, I'll eat my CSGU diploma. Her dark thoughts were interrupted as the bailiff continued.
"All rise. The Fifth District Court of Equestria is now in session, the Honorable Judge Soy Bean presiding." As the gathered crowd, including the six Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, rose to their hooves, Twilight quickly glanced over to the defendant's box, where Habeas Corpus and Jason Clavoli were standing. Jason looked a bit nervous for a moment, but Twilight saw him bow his head, close his eyes, and whisper something too softly for even her enhanced alicorn hearing to catch at that distance. After about five seconds or so, he opened his eyes and faced the front of the courtroom with a determined expression--which completely faded into chagrin once the judge came striding in from his chambers. Judge Soy Bean was an Earth Pony who wore a black judge's robe (1) with a clear patch at the hip, almost like a window, that showed off his Cutie Mark: a gavel crossed by a noose. Twilight saw Jason cringe and facepalm. Her ears just so happened to be pointed in exactly the right direction at that moment to catch what Jason muttered to himself: "Oh, boy."
"You may be seated," Judge Bean told the crowd. As Twilight and her friends settled back into the Royal Box up at the front of the spectators' section, Twilight saw Swift Justice move from her right to the stand at the front of the courtroom. The pegasus mare flared her wings.
"Jason Clavoli, you stand accused of creating a disturbance in the streets of Appleloosa." Soy Bean turned and stared at Jason. "How do you plead?"
Habeas Corpus stood. "We plead Not Guilty, Your Honor, because my client did not create the disturbance. Two colts did, from being where they shouldn't have been. The defense calls to the stand Jason Clavoli." Twilight saw the human rise and make his way to the witness box. I hope, for all our sakes, that this works out right, Twilight thought.
The bailiff stepped forward. "Jason Clavoli, do you swear before this court to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you Honesty and Its Maker?" Jason affirmed this, and Habeas began his questioning.
"Mr. Clavoli. Could you please describe for the court the events you saw take place on the afternoon of the twentieth of July in Appleloosa's drinking establishment, the Salt Lick?"
"Certainly. I had stopped there for a refreshing drink and a cool spot to think and plan out a way to get in touch with the Octarchy, when I saw two colts try to scam their way past a bouncer and buy beer. I didn't believe, from the way they looked, that they were of legal drinking age, so, just to be on the safe side, I removed the beer from their glasses and replaced it with water. The older one became angry and started looking around the bar for whoever had changed his drink and his friend's, namely me. Odd thing, though--once they spotted me, they didn't confront me or anything. They took one look at me, screamed "Draconequus!!" and ran out of the bar like they were being chased by manticores or something. That's when I knew changing the beer they'd been about to drink was probably a mistake--more so because they went on to cause a riot in their panic. At that point, I decided it was best to just wait where I was until an authority figure got in touch. I figured I could work my way up their chain of command until I got in touch with the Princesses, who are the ones I really came here to speak to. I was relieved when the ones who came for me were the very mares I'd been hoping to speak to--the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony themselves! The rest, I think you probably know."
"Thank you, Mr. Clavoli." said Habeas Corpus. "Are the two colts you saw that day present in this courtroom today?"
"Why, yes, they are. Right over there--third row of spectators, fourth and fifth seats from the right."
"Let the record show that the defendant has indicated Crosses-the-Line-Twice and Trotsthe Line, the sons of Dotted Line and Aspiring Skies. Now, Mr. Clavoli, you say that you 'changed' the alcohol you saw them purchase into water. How did you do this?"
"Where I hail from, we call it performing a miracle, but you folks around here would more commonly call it magic. Odd reaction on the part of the colts, like I said, especially if magic is as common around here as I've seen."
"The court will please strike any speculative remarks in the defendant's last statement from the record," Soy Bean stated flatly. We're here simply for the facts. Mr. Clavoli, you say that the Line colts were the ones who instigated the riot?"
"Yes, your honor. They did."
"Thank you, Mr. Clavoli. Cross-examine?" Corpus offered to Swift Justice, who trotted up to the area before Judge Bean's bench and the witness stand. She looked the human over grimly.
"Mr. Clavoli. You claim that you used magic, yet also that you are not a draconequus. You are clearly bipedal. Equally clearly, the only known bipedal creatures capable of using magic on Equus are draconequi. Therefore, either something unprecedented is happening, or... you are lying. I don't know about you, but I would tend to go with the simpler explanation of the two, wouldn't you?" She smirked haughtily at the human.
"With all due respect, ma'am, this is Equestria... where things that would be called impossible by most of the people where I come from happen with such regularity you could set a clock by them... and often do, from what I've seen. Moving the sun and moon manually while the planet they shine on stays stationary? Levitation? Teleportation? Crops sprouting from the soil in seconds to minutes? Ponies using clouds to build furniture?? Were I in your position, I wouldn't give so much credence to logical axioms when faced with things like that." Jason spread his arms, gesturing around himself as if to indicate the entire country of Equestria.
"You say that you have seen these things happening, yet none of us have ever seen you before last week. What was it, Mr. Clavoli? An invisibility spell of some sort?" Swift Justice looked honestly curious.
"Simple. I'm not a draconequus--I'm a human, a Watcher."
All the ponies in the room (except the Bearers and the judge) drew a sudden involuntary gasp of breath at this statement. Twilight quietly exulted to herself. HA! I knew something was strange about him... how else could he have known all our names, much less which Elements we bore? Grinning smugly, she turned to share a winged high-five with Rainbow, sitting next to her in the royal box. Rainbow looked startled. Leaning over to Twilight, she whispered fiercely, "That still doesn't explain how he knows magic, much less how he was that fast at raising that darned shield! He still owes me...!" she grumbled.
Rarity quietly shushed Rainbow, pointing down at the witness box with a hoof. Swift Justice, composing herself, continued her questioning. "So... you come from the same world as Counselor Arcturus, then?"
Jason nodded. "Yes, I do. He was an author of comic books back home... I have fond memories of many pleasant hours spent reading the stories he wrote..." He sighed in remembered pleasure. "Although since he was dragged here, his own life got a heck of a lot more dramatic than almost any story he ever wrote, I can tell you," the human grinned.
"Never mind that!" Swift Justice scowled. "Counselor Arcturus' history is not at issue here! How long have you been 'watching' Equestria?" Her tone of voice, particularly on the word "watching," suggested that "spying on" would not have been an inappropriate synonym.
"Depends on which timeline or alternate universe you're talking about, Counselor," Jason replied.
"This one will suffice, thank you," she said icily.
"Since Arthur's first audience with Celestia, as a matter of fact." The majority of the courtroom erupted into panic. Judge Bean banged his gavel stand with a hoof. "Order! Order! By the Sisters, I will have order and decorum in this court!" The bailiff, another hulk of an earth pony, inhaled.
"QUIET!!!"
This fair approximation of the Royal Canterlot Voice at least got the ponies to quit shouting, though many of them still cast fearful looks Jason's way. Swift Justice resumed speaking.
"When did you decide to move from watching to intervening?"
Jason paused, a thoughtful look crossing his face. "It would have been... about a year and a half ago, roughly, during the Grand Opening of the new Wing of the Humanities at the Canterlot Museum of Natural History. Originally, I thought of just coming for a vacation--Ponyville and Canterlot seem downright restful, compared to some of what Terra was going through at the time--but the catch was, there's also another timeline I've been keeping an eye on, and in that one, things weren't going nearly as well as they have been here."
Several of the ponies sported expressions of disbelief that Judge Bean soon vocalized. "'Well'? You call getting attacked by what seems to have been Discord's entire extended family and barely getting out of it alive 'going well'?"
"Compared to the kerfluffle surrounding only having one new Princess ascend, losing the Elements of Harmony to suppress the Everfree Forest, and having a half-reformed draconequus pulling pranks around Canterlot, Ponyville, and the rest of Equestria? Yeah, I'd say this one has it pretty good, by comparison, your honor. No offense meant," Jason said, standing and bowing to Judge Bean. "The important point is that I saw events play out in that timeline that are still in your future, and given how they turned out there, I saw that Arthur's Equestria, to call it so, could probably use an extra 'corner being,' so to speak. So I decided to volunteer my services. If, that is, their Highnesses--the eight of them--accept." He bowed again, this time in the direction of the Royal Box.
The Bearers, rather than looking stunned at this statement, all wore looks that, while surprised, amounted to "Oh, so that's it...!", a phrase Twilight whispered to herself soon afterwards. Judge Bean turned to them, as did both attorneys.
"Your Highnesses, do you have anything to say to this? Can you provide proof that what this creature, this 'human,' is saying is true?" Both attorneys, prosecutor and defender, nodded vigorously in agreement. "Yes, I think we'd all like to hear this--wouldn't you, Swifty?" asked Habeas Corpus, with a wink.
Swift Justice grimaced. "I thought I told you never to call me that when we're in public-- Boddy," she hissed under her breath. She glared at her opposite number, while Jason, still at the witness stand, looked on curiously. "No further questions at this time, Your Honor, but the prosecution reserves the right to recall this witness," Swift Justice told the judge.
"Very well, you may step down, Mr. Clavoli. The state calls to the stand Princesses Twilight Sparkle, Applejack Apple, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity Belle, and Fluttershy Posey, Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, Redeemers of Luna, Defeaters of Discord, Ousters of Chrysalis--"
"Your Honor," interrupted Habeas Corpus, "In the interest of saving the court some time, the defense moves that we accept the Bearers' titles into the record as read, and the stenographer can add them to the official transcript later."
"Does the prosecution concur?" Soy Bean asked.
"Very well, your Honor." Swift Justice nodded, attempting (and failing) to surreptitiously wipe her brow with the back of her hoof.
"So ordered. Steno Pad, make a note to that effect. Now then, your Highnesses. Can you provide support for Mr. Clavoli's claims?" Judge Bean turned to Twilight.
"Certainly, your Honor. If the court will agree to enter a magic re-creation of our testimony into evidence?"
"It's a bit irregular, but you are Princesses... Go ahead." Swift Justice and Soy Bean nodded in unison.
"So, then," Twilight began, casting a magic screen (2) up on the wall of the courtroom, "the first inkling we had that any of this was happening was when we heard Spike--my assistant, your Honor--shouting my name as we left the Canterlot Museum of Natural History last Monday..."
As the Bearers' testimony (3) proceeded, Dotted Line and Aspiring Skies grew more horrified with every sentence that passed the alicorns' lips. "You colts," whispered Skies fiercely, "are in so much trouble when we get home! Your father and I raised you better than this--you know better. Cross, what were you thinking, dragging your brother into something like this?! And you, Trotsthe, you're supposed to be a stabilizing influence for your brother! Why didn't you try to talk him out of this mane-brained scheme?!"
"But Mom--" Trotsthe interrupted. "I tried, but Cross just stampeded right over my objections! He called me 'negative' for trying to talk him out of it!"
"Talk me out of it?!" Cross shot back. He snorted derisively. "Yeah, right. All you did was stand there whining like some little coward!" His voice went high-pitched and nasally as he began to mock his brother. "'Oh, Cross, Sheriff Star's gonna get us! Oh, Cross, that earth pony bouncer looks like he's gonna stomp us flat! Oh, Cross, we're dead if the Bearers of the Elements catch up!'" He rolled his eyes, looking as if he'd like to spit on his brother, but didn't dare in front of their mom and dad. "Gimme a break, you pathetic little freak...!"
"Cross...!" said his father, in a warning tone. "Obviously, I haven't been keeping a close enough eye on you. Whatever the judge decides, that's going to change as soon as we're all home."
"But Dad, it was that draconequus guy's fault!! He was the one who scared everypony in the bar by changing the drinks--"
"Which you weren't even supposed to be there to buy in the first place--with money you stole from my wallet, no less," Dotted Line replied sternly. "Now boys, if the attorneys call on you, you will go up there and own up to what you've done. Is that clear?"
Both Cross and Trotsthe gulped discernibly. "Yes, sir," they answered in small voices.
"Thank you for your time, your honor," concluded Twilight. "I hope we've done our part in seeing to it that justice is done here, rather than letting innocent creatures be railroaded."
"Thank you, Your Highnesses," replied Judge Bean, rising to his hooves from the bench and bowing in the Bearers' direction. "It's all become much clearer to me now. Have you anything further to add?"
"Jest this, yer Honor," Applejack said. "I gave Mr. Clavoli over thar a test t' see whether or not he'd be willin' ta break jail t' join in our search fer Fluttershy or not--an' he passed with flyin' colors! Wouldn't budge." She gestured in Jason's direction with a wing. "I've seen fer myself that he's an honest critter, an' I don't believe he's guilty o' anythin' but a bit of poor judgment."
"Thank you, Princess Applejack," the judge stated. "Counselors, have you any further evidence or testimony to bring to bear in this matter?"
"One more thing, your Honor," Habeas Corpus replied. "The defense calls to the stand Crosses-the-Line-Twice and Trotsthe Line."
The two colts in question walked nervously up to the witness stand, eyeing both their father and Applejack with furtive glances that spoke eloquently of their fervent wishes to be anywhere else on all of Equus than there in the courtroom at that moment. Nevertheless, the bailiff approached them anyway.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you Honesty and Its Maker?"
Trotsthe nodded solemnly as he said, "Yes." Cross sneered and tossed off "Yeah, sure, whatever, chunky." The bailiff glared at him until he subsided, silent.
"Well, young stallions?" asked Judge Bean, expectantly. "Have anything to say for yourselves?"
"Uh... we really didn't mean it, your Honor?" offered Trotsthe timidly.
"Yeah, and besides, it was all that draconequus guy's fault in the first place!" insisted Cross.
"Was it, now?" asked Habeas Corpus. "May I remind you both--not only are you under oath, but Princess Twilight has presented to this court information that clearly shows that even you, Mr. Crosses-the-Line-Twice, are significantly below the legal drinking age--to say nothing of your younger brother Trotsthe. What were you even doing in the Salt Lick in the first place?"
"We just wanted to taste some beer, to find out what it's like!" blurted Trotsthe. "Dad never lets us near his stuff!" Cross shot his brother a glare that, if it were a physical object, would have skewered him on the spot, then clouted him upside the head with a hoof.
"Shut up, you moron! We won't break their dumb oath if you keep your blabbermouth shut!"
"But, Cross," insisted Trotsthe fearfully, "there's the..." He gestured toward the Element of Honesty, glowing bright orange from the torc around Applejack's neck, "...right over there! For real! She's gonna be able to tell if we lie!"
"Don't tell me you still believe in those old Breezie-tales Mom used to tell us?! Come on...!" Cross snorted.
"Do you really want to take a chance that she was wrong?! Under these circumstances?" Trotsthe shook his head. "Not me, stallion--I like all my limbs right where they are, thanks very much." A low rumble of laughter arose from some of the ponies in the gallery upon hearing the colt's insistent statement.
"Getting back on track here," interrupted Habeas Corpus, "what happened to you in the Salt Lick?"
"Well, we were just about to take a taste of the beer we'd bought, when all of a sudden, there's this flash of blue magic around our beer glasses, and there's nothing in them but water! Naturally, I got ticked off--we'd just paid a good three bits each for the stuff, after all--and started yelling for whatever cowardly unicorn who'd done that to show himself, but nopony did, so I started lookin' around for the guy--and there he was, as big as life, this tall, skinny beanpole of a guy sitting like Ms. Lyra does a lot, but more natural, y'know? I could tell he was used to it. But then I noticed something about him that really freaked me out--his claw was glowin' the same color as the magic aura around our beers! After that it was easy to guess--two legs, unicorn magic--or that's what it looked like then, anyway--after what we've all been through this last year, who couldn't put two and two together?" Cross looked smug.
"Then, we panicked," Trotsthe put in. "We yelled, and ran for our lives... or we tried, anyway. There were too many other ponies in town who had the same idea. We got caught up in the crowd, and just barely managed to stay together. When we were by the general store, and saw those new projection-boxes with the newsponies blaming us for the riot..." He gestured helplessly. "We just ran." He blushed. "Until those blue and pink Princesses caught up with us, anyway..."
"Hay, yeah! Who's awesome? We're awesome!" Rainbow whispered, sharing a quiet wing-five with Pinkie, while Twilight and Rarity merely rolled their eyes.
"Thank you, gentlecolts," replied the defense attorney. "Cross-examine, Ms. Justice?"
The pegasus mare cleared her throat. "Thank you, Mr. Corpus. Now, colts, could you please tell this court why it took the efforts of the Bearers of Laughter and Loyalty to track you down, rather than you coming in to the police yourselves to present your side of the story? If you were so sure of your innocence, why flee from law-enforcement officers?"
"We were scared, all right, lady?? Same as everypony else in that bar. You would be too if you'd been through what we have this last year!" Cross said.
"I can certainly understand that," Swift Justice replied. "However, the affidavits from Princesses Rainbow Dash and Pinkamena Diane Pie stated that you two looked like you'd been running for a while longer than the..." She riffled through pages in a thick brief. "...estimated thirty minutes it took them to apprehend you. Several hours, in fact. Care to explain?"
"We'd also been hiding from the cops, because we didn't know who we could trust with our own side of the story," Trotsthe put in. "It was a madhouse out there...!" He shivered at the memory.
"A 'madhouse' that we are trying to determine who was responsible for inciting, Mr. Line. Anything further to add?" Swift Justice quirked an eyebrow.
"Yeah. Cross made me steal the bits we used to pay for the beer from Dad's wallet. He kept going on and on about how Dad's always so tight-hoofed when it comes to money, and said stealing it was our only chance to get enough money to do this, yadda yadda..." Trotsthe rolled his eyes as Cross' face went livid. "You little fink...!" Cross hissed at Trotsthe under his breath.
"Look, Cross, I'm tired of lying to everypony about this! Beat me up if you want when we get back home--I'll still sleep better than I have this week!"
"Well. Quite the surprise, but the ancients do say confession is good for the soul," remarked Swift Justice. "Something it seems you may want to consider for the future, Mr. Crosses-the-Line-Twice," she added with a reproachful stare at the earth pony. "No further questions for these witnesses, Your Honor."
"You said 'two more things,' Counselor. What's the other?" asked the judge. Swift Justice looked on, curious as well.
"The defense calls to the stand Stone Wall, bouncer for the Salt Lick," Habeas Corpus announced. The earth pony dwarfed most of those around him as he rose, lumbering forward down the center aisle to the witness box.
"Mr. Wall," asked Habeas Corpus once the earth pony had been sworn in, "could you please describe your view of the events that took place on July 20th at the Salt Lick?"
"Sure. I wuz doin' my usual job of watchin' the doors an' the patrons, t' make sure nopony got in who wasn't legal, when those two colts"--he gestured at Cross and Trotsthe--"came in an' demanded I get them a table. I wasn't sure they wuz old enough t'be drinkin', but their ID said they wuz 21. Funny thing is, they sorta looked like the ID's, but they looked a little funny, kinda... well, wavery, if ya know what I mean," he rumbled.
"'Wavery?' How so?" asked the defense attorney. He spoke carefully.
"Well, the edges of their bodies looked sorta... blurry-like, y'know," Stone Wall continued. "Like they wuzn't all there all the time."
"I see. Thank you, Mr. Wall. No further questions at this time, but stay in the courtroom, please. Your Honor, the defense reserves the right to recall this witness. Cross-examine?" Corpus offered to Swift Justice.
"Thank you, Counselor." Swift Justice approached the witness box. "Mr. Wall, do you have any vision problems?"
"What, me? Nah. Couldn't do muh job as a bouncer if I couldn't see ponies' faces clear, now could I? My boss insists we get our eyes checked once a month, matter of fact, ma'am."
"I see. And how long ago was your last checkup, Mr. Wall?"
"On July 17th, ma'am. The doc gave me a clean bill o' health, too--20/20."
"I see," replied Swift Justice. "Then there is simply no chance this 'blurriness' you experienced was due to any physical impairment on your part?"
"Not accordin' t' muh doc, ma'am."
"Thank you, Mr. Wall," said the pegasus prosecutor. "No further questions, your honor."
"Your Honor!" called Habeas Corpus. "In light of these new developments, may the defense call an expert witness to consult?"
"You said one more thing, Counselor," reminded Soy Bean. "I will allow this irregularity, because I'm curious to see where you're going with this, but be aware this is the last surprise this court will tolerate. Any more of these shenanigans and you will find yourself in a cell near your client's, for contempt of court. Clear?"
"Very much so, your Honor. I promise, last one. The defense calls to the stand Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Bearer of Magic."
Surprised, Twilight made her way from the Royal Box to the witness stand. What's Corpus up to? she wondered.
"Your Highness, as the Bearer of the Element of Magic, would it be fair to say you're an expert in all types of magical effects?" asked Habeas Corpus.
"I have a Master's degree in Magical Theory," replied Twilight. "I was considering going for my doctorate, before Discord's demise last year. What's this all about, Counselor?"
"Would it be fair to say you're familiar with diagnosis of when a magical effect has been used on somepony?"
"Oh, that. Well, yes, if the trace is fresh enough, I can sense what type of spell has been used on somebeing. But it doesn't last more than a month, at best. The more recently the spell has been used, the better."
"Can you describe for us the effect of being under an Illusion spell?"
Aha, so that's why he asked. Clever stallion, this guy, Twilight mused to herself. Aloud she said, "Yes, I can. The more skillfully a spell of the Illusion school is cast, the less way there is for an untrained pony to see it isn't a real image being projected. Less skillful castings will result in a lensing effect, producing blurred or out-of focus edges to the image."
"I see." Habeas Corpus turned toward Judge Bean's bench. "Your honor, based upon the testimony of this expert witness, it is the contention of the defense that Stone Wall was subjected to an illusion spell at or shortly before the time he had contact with the Line brothers. May I speculate, your Honor?"
Judge Bean motioned with a hoof for him to continue. "I'm all ears, Counselor. Please proceed."
"Thank you, Your Honor. It is the supposition of the defense that Crosses-the-Line-Twice somehow obtained the help of a unicorn, or perhaps a scroll written by a unicorn, to deceive Mr. Wall into believing that he and his brother were of legal drinking age. This, if true, clearly indicates that he and his brother fully intended to obtain supplies of alcohol illegally, but were halted in the commission of said intent by my client. As such, it is our contention that my client deserves not a sentence, but the thanks of everypony involved with the Line siblings' attempt to make themselves delinquent. No further questions, your Honor."
"Thank you, your Highness. You may step down." As Twilight returned to the Royal Box, Judge Bean turned to eye the Line brothers in the gallery. Prudently, they weren't saying anything, even to one another, but he saw that Cross had broken out in a sweat. "I think we can all see what's coming next. Ms. Prosecutor, would you do the honors?"
"Gladly, your Honor." She scowled. "The state recalls to the stand Crosses-the-Line-Twice and Trotsthe Line." As the two colts shakily rose to their hooves and made their way to the witness stand once again, Twilight heard Swift Justice growl under her breath, "Try to make a fool out of me, will you?! Not blasted likely..."
"Mr. Cross. Is this true? Did you use an illusion spell on Stone Wall to augment your false identifications?"
Faced with the truth he had deemed any non-earth pony too stupid to uncover, Cross did nothing but nod wordlessly. Twilight saw Trotsthe slump to the surface of the witness stand and heard him mutter with weary sarcasm, "Foolproof, huh?"
"Let the record show the witness has answered nonverbally, in the affirmative," stated Swift Justice. "I believe this clinches it, Your Honor. No further questions for these witnesses." She turned her back on the witness box. "Cross-examine?" she offered.
"No need, I think," replied Habeas Corpus, with an ill-concealed grin. "No further questions for these witnesses, your honor."
"Very well. Then if there is nothing further from any respondent, I will retire to my chambers for ten minutes to consider the verdict," responded Soy Bean. "Court is hereby in recess." His hoof came down on the gavel stand with a resounding CHOK that echoed throughout the courtroom. He rose and swept from the bench, heading towards a side door through which the Bearers of the Elements could see, thanks to the correct angle and alicornically-enhanced eyesight, a lavishly appointed suite of offices. The judge entered a solidly built, polished wood doorway, and the door closed behind him with an echoing boom similar to the one the courthouse door had emitted behind Fluttershy the previous Wednesday.
The ponies all began stretching, standing, and heading for the restrooms, vending machines or the outer steps for relief, snacks or fresh air, respectively. Twilight, remaining seated in the Royal Box with her fellow Bearers, looked worriedly at the rest of her friends. "Please, Maker of Equinus Sapiens, let this turn out all right...!" she prayed. Her friends nodded, seconding the motion. Applejack, however, turned quizzically to Twilight.
"Sugarcube, I think we all know why ya said that; with what Luna's revealed to us, Jason's advice is too important ta Equestria's future security ta let him slip out o' our hooves... but what are ya worried about? That there was some o' the fanciest footwork I've seen outside o' Apple Family Reunion squaredances... an' the best part is, t'was all in the service o' the truth bein' brought ta light." She grinned. "I jest might hafta give both attorneys a royal commendation after all this hootin' an' hollerin' dies down."
Fluttershy slipped a comforting wing over Twilight's withers. "Don't worry, Twilight. We can still use the time of Jason's sentence the way Sheriff Star suggested. Besides, look on the bright side--it'll give us more time to make friends with him."
"Yeah, Twilight! Plus it gives me and my future party partner more time to plan out his "Welcome to Equestria" party!" Pinkie grinned as well. "So... many... ideas...!!" She somehow managed to sigh eagerly.
"And maybe the mystery of his freaky-quick shields will finally be mine!!" threw in Rainbow. "Oh, wait--did I just say that out loud?" She blushed, scratching the back of her mane with a hoof. "Heh, sorry, girls--just got a little carried away there..."
"Don't worry, Twilight--whatever may come, to us, to our friends old and new, to Equestria itself, you can at least trust in one thing: we're with you and for you, no matter what may come--even the worst! Possible! Thing!" declared Rarity, after which all the Bearers shared a laugh.
"Thanks, girls," Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. "We can only do what we can do, I guess. The rest is in the Maker's hooves." (4)
"All rise. The Fifth District Court of Equestria now resumes session, the Honorable Judge Soy Bean presiding." The bailiff's words echoed over the silent courtroom. The entire crowd of ponies seemed to be holding its collective breath to hear Soy Bean's verdict. He seated himself behind his bench in a swirl of dark fabric, and at last spoke.
"Jason Clavoli, step forward." The human, looking chagrined, did so. Judge Bean cleared his throat, then continued.
"Because by your own testimony, you have been a Watcher of this world since Counselor Arcturus arrived, you ought to have known the sociopolitical climate or mood of the populace before coming here. Therefore, I am inclined to impose some penalty upon you. This, however, will be mitigated by the evident fact that Equestrian citizens are easily panic-prone, as well as the fact that you are not directly responsible for instigating the riot. This court hereby sentences the alien visitor, the stallion calling himself Jason Clavoli, to two weeks' imprisonment in the Appleloosa correctional facility." He pounded his gavel stand once with a hoof. "Court is adjourned."
"Two weeks?! Aw, man! What a gyp!" yelled Cross. "That's so unfair!"
"Hey, look on the bright side, Cross," responded his brother. "At least it's over." The two colts each felt a hoof grasp their earlobes.
"Over?" came their father's ice-cold voice, sending chills through them both. "Oh, no, young stallions--this is far from over, I think you'll find. We're going home and have a nice long chat about just what constitutes proper behavior for our household..."
Author's Note
(1) Tailored for quadrupedal wear, of course.
(2) Similar to what Celestia reviewed Twilight's life with in "Magical Mystery Cure;" also similar to what the stallions in this excellent story by Rouis use to show movies.
(3) Covering the events recounted in the Prologue (both parts) and Chapters 2 and 3. Look there again if you want to know what they'll be discussing.
(4) Every creature conceives of the Creator as being like themselves, don't they?
Well, new chapter's up! (Finally, huh?) Comment, rate, like, favorite, etc., etc., etc. See you next time! plans...
View Online
Interview with an Unexpected Mage
Chapter 8: Incarceration II: Conversation (The Basics)
Chapter 8: Incarceration II: Conversation (The Basics)
As the eight travelers arrived back at Appleloosa's hoosegow, Twilight gave a start, realizing something. "Sheriff! Wait!" she called to Silver Star. The lawpony turned to her.
"What is it, Princess Twilight? I gotta get this critter locked away safe, per Hizzoner's instructions."
"That's just it, though," she countered. "If no magic works at all in Cell 3A, how will we be able to fight back if he does try anything? Besides, you heard Judge Bean's verdict as well as we all did--he isn't guilty of anything except bad timing. Could you please place him in another cell?"
"Well, now, I don't know, yer Highness," Sheriff Star scratched the back of his neck, thinking. "If'n Mr. Clavoli gives us his word o' honor not t' try any shenanigans, I s'pose it'll be all right--long as ya agree t' go back inta Cell 3A nice 'n' quiet-like once Their Highnesses leave," he finished, giving Jason a flat stare. "I don't want no trouble."
"Very well, Sheriff," Jason agreed. "Another two weeks of an itchy scalp is a small price to pay, I suppose, for a beginning." He smiled. "Thank you for seeing reason."
"We'll start the soundproofing process again, Twilight," Rarity said. "Come, girls." She led them up the hall while Twilight blink-teleported to soundproof Jason's cell window again. Then, she and Jason walked up the hall to a drab-looking interrogation room with a low table and stools. As they seated themselves, Jason spoke.
"Right. First things first. Scan me."
Twilight's ears flicked back in surprise. "What?"
"You heard me. Scan me, like those doctors over at Ponyville General or Canterlot Med Center do. You must have watched them do it to unicorns at least once--oh, wait, that's right! You used this on Rarity before her ascension, didn't you?" he exclaimed, snapping his fingers.
The former unicorn blinked. "You know about that?"
Jason smiled. "Watcher, remember? So, the point is, you do know this spell. And as I recall, Rarity was emotionally weary enough right then she didn't want you using it. Well, here's your chance to scratch that particular itch--you have a willing volunteer. Poke and prod away to your heart's content, your Highness!" He laughed. "I want to prove to your own satisfaction that I have the capability to do these things. Scan me so you can see for yourself." Jason sat up straight on his stool, spreading his arms out straight from his shoulders in a T shape.
"Scan you for what? Unicorn internal anatomy?" She looked skeptically at Jason.
"Essentially, yes. Creatures capable of using magic have... what's the term... magical fonts, don't they? Look for yourself and see whether I have one." He smiled again.
"All right." Twilight's horn began to glow as she cast the same scanning spell she'd used on Rarity the day they'd dealt Anarchy his first (1) defeat. As her scan passed over his belly, she did notice something. Her eyes closed involuntarily as she used her mind's eye to take a closer look at what the spell was showing her. Jason did indeed possess a font, but with an odd shape. This... it's more like a river or a stream than a fountain, she thought to herself. Wait--no, that wasn't the whole story. It's more like a fountain that has overflowed and created a river, she mused. She opened her eyes. "This is really weird," she said.
"I presume it's a truism in both our dimensions that 'the Maker works in mysterious ways'?" Jason asked the alicorn, smiling at her with a glint of mischief in his eye. "Seriously, though, full explanations for why these things are so will have to wait until I can get out to Golden Oaks and borrow a certain specific book I have in mind," he continued. "If I picked a timeline with the right configuration, you should have it available."
"Which book? I could go home and get it for you under librarian's privilege," Twilight offered. "If Spike didn't stick it in the wrong section or something...."
"Good idea. He could have filed it under "Comparative Religions" or "Foreign Literature" or something like that," Jason replied. "It should have a light-brown cover, with silver lettering on the spine and gold lettering on the cover, reading 'Holy Bible.'"
Twilight's eyes widened. "You mean that book from another dimension that Fluttershy, Rainbow and I had such a
"Not specifically mine, per se," Jason said, shaking his head. "It is the best-selling book of all time in my world; probably someone else's copy. But the point is, it's probably Equis' only copy, and I need one, for more reasons than just one," he said, rubbing his abdomen ruefully. "I'll explain in more detail when you bring it back."
Twilight nodded. "I think I can get it for you. I'll go get Spike, and we'll be back soon." She left the room and walked back up the hall, calling for him.
"What is it, Twilight?" Spike asked, looking over at her from where he was watching Rarity and Pinkie double-shot one of the office windows. "Did Jason break for lunch already?"
"No, Spike," Twilight replied. "In order to give a fuller explanation, he's going to need a very specific book. We need to go back to Books and Branches. We may be about to solve two mysteries, instead of just one...."
An observer walking by the Books and Branches Library-palace a half-hour or so later would have heard a loud clatter arising from various sections of the building as its proprietress tore through its contents in a frantic search. "No... no... no... not this one either... no... no... no, no, no, no, NO!" Twilight growled loudly in frustration. "SPIKE! Where in the hay did you stash that book?!"
"If it's not anywhere out here, did you check the Restricted section?" her clashing-hued draconic assistant asked mildly. He turned to point at a door labeled with various "KEEP OUT" signs in a variety of loud colors and several written languages.
"The Restricted section??" Twilight's mouth fell open briefly. "Why did you put it in there??"
"With all the kerfluffle you and the girls went through over that book last time, I figured it was better to keep its checkout on a need-to-know basis," Spike replied. "You never know when some band of cultist revolutionaries disguised as Moral Guardians is going to pop out of the woodwork...." He rolled his eyes, adding, "I'll be in the kitchen finishing packing us a lunch when you're ready," as he walked toward the room he'd just mentioned.
"Oh, come on, Spike, that's not--" Twilight broke off her statement, reconsidering. "...actually a half-bad idea," she finished. "Considering this is Ponyville, after all...!" She trotted over to unlock the Restricted section. One precisely-calibrated and -measured series of magic pulses later, she stood with her horn aglow in the dark room, counting Dewhoof Decimal numbers.
"196, 197, 198, 199--ah! 200!" She began searching the Comparative Religions section. Spotting a light brown leatherbound tome about four times the area of the average paperback, she pulled it from the shelf. "Yes! This is it!" Grasping her prize in the magenta glow of her telekinesis, she turned and exited the room, recasting the pulse code to lock the door behind herself. Lowering the book into her saddlebag, she walked toward the kitchen.
"Find it, Twilight?" Spike greeted her with a question as he finished wrapping two daisy-and-daffodil sandwiches in brown cellophane. He hefted a thermos of some steaming liquid that smelled to Twilight wonderfully of ginger and sugar. "Got some Whinndian tea to go with the sandwiches, too," he said, lowering the thermos carefully into a travel pack on top of an assortment of colorful gemstones.
"Yep! All ready to head out?" Twilight asked. She waited for Spike to sit down on her back, then asked another question. "Teleport or fly?"
"Teleport," Spike said firmly. "I still don't think you're as good with those--" he tapped a pinion of her right wing--"as you need to be."
"I guess," Twilight said, blushing. "I think you're right. Besides, it'll get us there faster." She trotted down the front steps of the library after locking its door. Once she reached the street below, she said, in a voice slightly louder than her normal speaking volume, "Brace yourself, Spike! Three... two... one...!" With a flash of magenta and a loud FTTZ! like the snap of a relighting birthday candle, they vanished from Ponyville and reappeared on Appleloosa's main street.
"Hi, Princess," Jason waved to the pair as they walked in. "I hope it's lunchtime, because my stomach certainly thinks so." He placed a hand on his belly, which punctuated this statement by growling emptily.
"Can humans eat daisies or daffodils? Because that's what Spike packed," Twilight said, with a concerned look at Jason. "We really need some researchers up at the Basement (3) to start looking into these things..."
"We can't eat daffodils--the lycorine in them is poisonous--but daisies should be all right if they're the short-leaved... uh, Trottingham variety, I think you'd call it? I hope you made some with just the one kind of flower..." He reddened suddenly, Twilight saw.
"There's no need to be embarrassed about food allergies," she told him. "Arthur went through the same thing when he was here. Spike? Did you think to pack extra for Jason?"
"Uh... whoops," the dragon blushed, after a moment or so of figuring. "Sorry, dude, I'm not even really sure what you guys can eat!"
"That's OK, Spike," Jason said. "I hope Sheriff Star and his deputies bring me something pretty soon, though."
"Next time we try to pack a working picnic for three, I'll check with the Royal Dietitians up in Canterlot," Twilight promised. "They figured out Arthur's needs; they should be able to modify those plans to fit yours."
"We've got lots of tea, though! It's a new Whinndian blend we just had shipped in by Derpy from mail-order a day or two ago! Wanna try some?" The dragon hoisted the tall thermos out of his travel pack, set it on the table and went looking for some cups. Just as he exited, there came into the room a tall, burly pony wearing a deputy sheriff's badge. On his back, he bore a tray holding a bowl of what looked to Twilight like overcooked lima beans, an apple, two bananas, and an orange, along with a spoon and napkin.
"Lunch." said the deputy shortly, placing the tray on the low table before Jason. Giving a respectful, if brief, nod to Twilight, as well as a one-word greeting, "Highness," the pony turned and left the interrogation room.
"All right, let's see what they've brought me..." The human picked up the spoon and dipped it into the bowl, raising the contents to his mouth...then making a face. "Soybeans? Again?" Jason facepalmed and sighed. "You guys have no imagination... Oh, well, at least dessert will be good." He smiled. "Oranges are my favorite fruit."
"They do give you adequate water around here, don't they?" asked Twilight, noticing the lack of any beverage with Jason's meal. "If not, I may need to pay Silver Star's dietitians a personal visit."
"I think so," Jason responded. "Humans need about two quarts a day to stave off dehydration--that's probably less than what a pony needs."
"Two quarts?!" Twilight stared at Jason, shocked. "That's barely a good drink for us! You've got to be kidding...!"
"No, that is, scientifically proven by our doctors, the minimum amount a human needs to stay healthy and functional. Of course, in society, some of us get less..." Jason blushed, as if remembering something embarrassing. "There was this one time I--" He stopped. "Never mind, you probably don't want the details... Suffice it to say that one colt who likes arcade games and I have a lot in common--maybe a bit too much." He grinned sheepishly.
"Incredible...!" Twilight was far gone in a research haze over comparative biology at this point. "So tall, and yet they need that little water? They must be endurance runners, then. I wonder if...?" She shook herself, breathing deeply, then exhaling. "Sorry. It's just so fascinating finding these things out!" She squealed, then calmed herself again. "Sorry!"
Jason chuckled. "No problem. I remember being equally fascinated by the mammalian digestive system when I was in second-grade health class." He ate another few spoonfuls of soybeans, then began to peel a banana. "So, Princess Twilight, did you come down here just to share lunches, or is there another reason you're here?"
"Oh! That's right! I almost forgot!" She levitated the worn NIV Bible from her saddlebag. "Here's the book you wanted. Why is it so important?"
The human swallowed a mouthful of banana and answered, "That answer will probably have to wait until after lunch, so you can get a better look at what goes on. I hope you don't mind waiting."
"Well, we do have the next two weeks... but then again, we know nothing of what Tirek may be up to even this moment, so we should probably get to this as soon as we can. I'm sure you have quite a lot to show me," Twilight said.
"Once we get the basics down, I have quite a bit to show all of you," Jason replied, smiling. "It starts with the Book and why it matters, though." He worked his way steadily through the rest of his lunch, extracting the seeds from the apple and orange and placing them carefully into the bowl with the banana peels and the remains of the soybeans, then wiping his mouth with the napkin after finishing the last section of orange. "Especially if these are fertile seeds, I don't want to waste them," Jason remarked. "The markets in my world sell apples that have had the seeds chemically treated to keep them from sprouting, so that customers can't save the seeds and grow their own trees--they have to come back and buy more to get any. I've thought ever since I heard of it that it was a bit of an unfair strategy.
"But I digress. I was about to explain the necessity of this Bible to you. Take a close look at my font. Notice anything?"
Twilight activated her scan again. "Hmm... if this were a physical river, I'd say there'd been a drought. The water level's lower than the banks."
"Uh-huh. Now watch." He opened the Bible and began reading. After a good five to seven minutes, Twilight noticed the "water" level of Jason's font begin to rise as the fountain at its head began to flow more vigorously.
"So..." she concluded, as the light dawned, "...humans use this Book to recharge their fonts, the way rapid-eye-movement sleep does it for creatures with a horn? Extraordinary!" She clapped her front hooves together excitedly.
"Yeah, that and conversing with the Maker about our days, both before and after they happen," Jason added, "which, by the way, is part of why I was able to anticipate Princess Rainbow's moves the other week. The Maker showed me she'd try something like that in our morning conversation, before I actually physically met you girls." He smirked. "The other part of the reason will have to wait, though I'm sure knowing even this much will probably soothe her anxieties."
Just then, Spike returned, carrying a platter upon which was carefully balanced a set of three coffee mugs. "These were all they had," he explained apologetically.
"It's fine, Spike." Twilight grasped the platter in her magenta glow and set it carefully down on the table. "Since we didn't foresee you needing lunch, would you like to share our tea?" she asked Jason.
"Sure, and thank you. I'd love a cup." Jason waited as Spike filled each of their mugs from the thermos, then took a sip. "Oh, chai!" he exclaimed. "This is one of my favorites! Thank you both!" he cried, then took a long pull from the mug. "Mmmmm...!!" Jason gave a satisfied moan as he swallowed. "It's been quite a while since I've had any of this."
"So, you've had it before?" Twilight asked. "We ordered this from a catalog published in Manehattan. 'East Whinndia Trading Company,' I believe... it's a company Princess Luna set up a royal contract with shortly after she resumed her duties as Royal Magistrate over the Night Court. How could you know about it?"
"Simple. Terra has this blend of tea also. Where I live, the recipe's been duplicated by domestic tea companies for sale to the general public." He took a moment to savor the aroma of the steam rising from his mug. "A piece of friendly advice--this goes great with milk." He took another swallow. "This one seems a little more intense than what we get back home, though. Not that I'm complaining, mind you; one of the problems I always thought our world's chai had was that the spices come through more in the scent of the tea than its taste. This is a wonderful change of pace." He settled back onto his stool, stretching. "Anything more you want to know about my capabilities, your Highness?"
"Everything," Twilight said, with the hungry stare of the true bibliophile presented with a library full of encyclopedias, then caught herself. With an embarrassed cough, she amended her statement. "Uh--eventually, that is. Aheh. For now, though, what does the Book have to say about human fonts?"
"There's a particular passage here somewhere..." He flipped through the Bible, eventually locating what he was looking for. "Ah! Here it is! John 4:14: " Jesus answered, 'Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.'"
"Wait," Twilight interrupted. "Jesus? Who's he?"
"The Maker's Son, who sacrificed His life to save the planet's population from the aftereffects of willing cooperation with the Accuser. Why do you ask?"
"Oh! You have a story like that, too?" Twilight's tail lashed in her surprise. "His Name here is Passionfruit." (4)
"I have a feeling that if you dig deep enough, every culture in every dimension there is, ever has been, or ever will be will have a story referring to His actions somehow," Jason answered, smiling. "A preacher my brother likes calls them 'redemptive analogies.' But anyway, the important point for our discussion, your Highness, is the last statement of His I just read you: 'the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.' Remind you of anything?" The human motioned to his midsection with a wink.
"Ah, so that's why. I see. Thank you," Twilight said, smiling back. "But then why is yours the head of a river?"
To her renewed surprise, Jason grinned again. "That," he answered, "is something I've been waiting to share with somecritter since I decided to come to this dimension. Let me show you something else the Maker's Son has said." He flipped forward a few pages, then read:
"On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, 'Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.' By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive."
"'The Spirit'?" Twilight echoed. "Which spirit?"
"The Spirit of the Maker, the One responsible for acting to create both our worlds, and--I suspect--all the others too, back at the very beginning. Wh--" Jason had been about to complete his statement with the question "Why do you ask," but was interrupted as Twilight's jaw dropped.
"You're kidding me, right? You have to be kidding," she breathed. "That would mean--" Her voice dropped to a whisper so quiet it rivaled Fluttershy's the day the two had met. "Harmony lives inside you?! Personally?! Wow...!"
"So you call Him Harmony here, huh? That's really interesting, especially if it means what I think it means," Jason mused. "The implications are staggering." He frowned suddenly. "Why the shocked face?" he asked, concerned, for Twilight seemed one or two hoofsteps away from falling into a bow the likes of which she usually reserved for Celestia. "Are you all right? If you're thinking what it looks like you're thinking, Twilight, quit it! I'm not that special, I'm just someone who's here to help! The power doesn't originate from me, it's from the Maker! That's why it's called a gift. But He's the Giver."
His sudden sharp tone shocked Twilight out of her near-worshipful daze. "Sorry! It's just... you have to understand the position Harmony holds in pony culture. We owe everything good about ponies to Her. Some scholars have even theorized that if it weren't for Her, the three tribes would never have been able to put aside their differences, and Equinus Sapiens would have perished from the face of the planet thanks to the Windigos' ice magic." She reeled dizzily in her seat. "And to find somecritter blessed enough to have Her living inside them...! It's just so overwhelming!"
"It doesn't need to be," Jason replied. "You could have the same blessing, if you want. All your friends can, too. As a matter of fact," he continued, his voice growing somewhat grim, "in order to foil Tirek's plans against Equestria--and maybe the rest of Equis too, in this timeline--for all I know, you might just have to...!" He hesitated for a moment.
"That should be a discussion topic for another day, I think. Next, though, there's this." He reached out and tapped the tip of Twilight's horn with his index finger. "If I recall what I've seen correctly, the horn tip is the point where unicorns and alicorns release the energy of their fonts into the environment as a cast spell. Humans--the ones like me and others with this particular gift from Harmony, anyway--release ours like this." He bowed his head for a moment, focusing, then stretched out his hand. It began to glow the same blue as his eyes. "It never glowed visibly before I came to Equus," Jason mused. "But I could feel some strange sensation in it that let me know the Maker's own capability was flowing through me. I still feel that same sensation right now, only it's also manifesting as light the same color as my irises. From what I've seen, this is normal for Equestria. Am I anywhere close?"
Twilight nodded. "That's about baseline for everypony except Celestia. Hers--logically enough, now that I think about it--is the color of sunshine: yellow or gold."
"Thank you for agreeing to these discussions, Princess Twilight," Jason said. "Now that you've seen why we humans need the Bible, I have a favor to ask. Can I borrow this while I'm here? My font needs this as much as ponies or other creatures need food or water, and before you brought it to me, the last time I'd read it was before I arrived here." He stared at the purple princess with what Twilight interpreted as a hungry look.
"If it's that important, of course you can," Twilight covered Jason's oddly bare hand with her hoof. "I know what it's like for us ponies if we don't have our basic needs met.... My sister-in-law almost died from maintaining a shield over the Crystal Empire with no sleep and minimal food last year! We certainly can't afford to have that happen to anyone else, so you certainly may borrow it for as long as you need it. Just leave it on the return shelf back at Books and Branches before you leave Equestria, okay? We'll put it back in the Restricted section later ourselves. Spike, make a note of that, would you?"
"Look on the return shelf for it later, gotcha, Twilight," said Spike, writing himself a note on a scrap of papyrus mat he'd pulled from his fanny pack along with the ubiquitous Equestrian quill pen.
"All these parallels... it's absolutely fascinating," Twilight said, her eyes gleaming with eagerness. "I wonder if Equestria's own libraries might hold more information about this." She turned sharply to Spike, who covered his head with his arms. "You know what this means, right, Spike?"
"Oh, boy..." Spike's voice came through muffled because of his arms shielding his face, but Jason and Twilight were both able to hear him say, "Here we go again..."
"RESEARCH!" Twilight cried gleefully, then noticed Jason stagger backward, throwing out his hand reflexively to catch himself. Because it was the hand he'd lit with his magic before, however, a beanbag chair appeared behind him. He fell into it with a soft whumph. Only then did Twilight realize that in her eagerness, she'd accidentally shouted her last word in the Royal Canterlot Voice. She grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, Jason... still getting used to some of this."
"It's O.K., Princess--just be more careful next time, all right?" Awkwardly, Jason rolled to his knees out of the beanbag, then gripped the edge of the table to haul himself to his feet. He dusted himself off as Spike lowered his arms out of his defense posture and spoke.
"Where did you want to start looking for more about this, Twilight?"
"Well, home's closest, the Castle of the Royal Sisters is next, and Canterlot is farthest away... why don't we do it like that?"
"Okay--but shouldn't we write to Princesses Celestia and Luna to tell them what's been going on? The Castles' libraries do belong to them, after all..." Spike said. Jason nodded at this.
"Good idea. I've been wanting to formally introduce myself to the eight of you, so I could ask the Equestrian Crown for an official favor. Plus, the reputation of Princess Celestia's diplomatic refreshments table precedes her even across dimensions." He chuckled. "Come back and let me know what you decide! Oh, wait--one last thing." He picked up the Bible and leafed through its pages again. "Another basic key to the kind of power the Maker gives us is praise of Him. Praise looses His presence into the scene of our needs. This is one you folks should already know better than the backs of your forehooves, from what I've seen..." He stopped turning pages and read the passage he'd been searching for out loud. "'Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.'"(5) He looked up and grinned at Twilight and Spike. "The overflow moment, heartsong, crowd song, whatever you want to call it, I suspect, fits that requirement quite nicely."
"Probably," Twilight returned Jason's smile. "One thing we do know, being native Equestrians, is that the Maker loves music. Why else would there be so much of it going on?" She gathered up the sandwich wrappers, gem crumbs, and other trash and garbage from her and Spike's side of the table in her magic, levitating it all back into their picnic basket. "Excuse me for a moment," Twilight said, stepping out into the hall to look around for a trashcan. She searched in vain for about five minutes--What kind of public building worth its oats doesn't have waste receptacles in plain view every ten hooves? she thought to herself in exasperation--before finally spotting one at the end of the hallway. Growling to herself, she stomped down to dispose of the remains of their picnic lunch, noticing a confused-looking earth pony deputy carrying Jason's tray in the same direction. He turned to Twilight. "Uh, your Highness?"
"Yes, what is it, Deputy?"
"The prisoner requested that I give these to you, for some reason," he told her, hoofing over a small bag. "He said you and Princesses Apple and Pie would know what to do with them..."
Grasping the paper bag in her TK field, Twilight opened it to reveal the orange and apple seeds from Jason's lunch. She gave a small laugh. "Uh, yes, thank you, Deputy, I think they'll know exactly what to do with them."
Nodding to her in a respectful farewell gesture, the deputy left the hallway, presumably to continue his rounds. Shaking her head, amused, Twilight opened her saddlebag and carefully lowered the bag of seeds inside. He must not know we already have plenty of these... maybe they'll make him a nice release-day gift if he wants to start a garden in the library's backyard, she thought. Although I don't know if even the Neighponese earth ponies would know how to miniaturize fruit trees. She finished disposing of the picnic trash, then took a deep breath and teleported back to the doorway of the interrogation room, walking back in to find Jason and Spike seated opposite each other playing tic-tac-toe.
"Sixteen games to four?!" Man, either you suck at this game or I'm having my luckiest day ever," Spike cried out, boggling at Jason's apparent lack of skill.
"Maybe you're too unpredictable for me," Jason shot back, laughing. "It's OK. Cheating, I think, is one of the things the Maker definitely does not condone, so you don't need to be worried whether we discussed this beforehand." He turned, hearing Twilight's hoofsteps in the doorway. "Princess! Have you come back for more discussion?"
"Sadly, no," Twilight replied. "We need to get back home. Spike and I have letters to write. If everything works out, we'll see you in another couple of days--hopefully with a reply from Celestia and Luna in hoof."
"Okay. See you later, then. Have a safe trip!" Jason stood and waved goodbye as they left, a deputy quickly passing the alicorn and dragon in the hallway on his way to escort Jason back to Cell 3A.
Author's Note
(1) At this point, no one but RealityCheck knows whether players of the Draconequus version of "King of the Hill"
(2) Detailed in the (sadly, so far unfinished) story The Word Became Ponified, by Arthemis the Swordsman.
(3) My updated nickname (like "Area 51" on Earth) for that cavern system in Mount Canterhorn where Celestia and Luna's "human tech R & D group" has its headquarters, as RealityCheck detailed here.
(4) No relation to either of these two users here on FIMFiction. This, by coincidence, was a pony name a friend of mine came up with for the Son of God a few years ago during a discussion over on RealityCheck's own website.
(5) Ephesians 5:18-20, for those who are interested or curious.
Enjoy!
Interview with an Unexpected Mage
As Twilight and Spike arrived back at Books and Branches Palace, Spike suddenly bent double, groaned sharply, and belched out a gout of green flame that resolved itself into a scroll bearing the Royal Solar Seal. The dragonling held it up. "Letter from Celestia, Twilight--looks pretty official." Spike slit the seal in two with a deft swipe of his index talon, then unrolled it and began to read.
"My Faithful Student,
An emergency has arisen that may have nationwide consequences. Please gather the other Bearers and the helper of whom Luna has told me, Jason Clavoli the human, and meet us in the medical wing of Canterlot Castle as quickly as is ponily possible.
Your loving teacher and sister,
HRH Princess Celestia"
"I never knew she could read minds," Spike said, astonished. "I mean, here we were about to write to her about letting Jason visit Canterlot with us, and she sends us a letter before we even had a chance to compose ours?! Whoa...!"
"This time it isn't a social call, Spike--she said it was an emergency! Didn't you pay attention to what you were reading?!" Twilight grimaced. "Never mind--we'll deal with it later. Right now we've got to find the rest of the girls and get back to Appleloosa to let Jason out! Let's go!" Spike hopped onto her back and clenched his knees onto her barrel as she charged up a teleport spell and focused on a mental picture of the Apples' house at Sweet Apple Acres. One violet-and-pink flash later, Twilight and Spike stood on the front porch. Looking around, Twilight spotted an orange spot in a distant grove of apple trees.
"Doing it this way is going to take too long! Celestia said it was urgent...!" Wait a minute--we're telepathic now, she suddenly thought. A grin broke briefly onto her face, then she focused on sending a message to all five of her friends simultaneously. Girls! I just got a letter from Celestia! She needs us in Canterlot ASAP!! A few seconds later, there were five simultaneous flashes, and her five friends were standing before her in a rough semicircle.
"We need to get Jason from Appleloosa, too," she informed them. "Celestia specifically asked that he come with us in her letter."
Applejack sighed. "Silver Star and Cousin Braeburn ain't gonna be any too pleased with us... but they'll do it. Gather 'round, y'all..." Applejack and Twilight touched their horns together, powering up the teleport spell they needed as the others threw their magical "weight" behind enhancing it. As it burst, the six alicorns vanished in a rainbow flash.
"Celestia said in her letter for us to meet her and Luna in the medical wing of the castle," mused Twilight as they walked down Appleloosa's main street together once more. "I wonder why?"
"We'll probably find out once we get there," said Applejack. She raised a hoof and knocked on the hoosegow's door. A sleepy-looking deputy answered her knock. "Yah, whuzzit...?" he mumbled--then caught sight of the six alicorns gathered on the office's front porch. His eyes widened as if he'd been blasted by a Crystal Empire gust. "Yer Highnesses...!!" He bowed. "To whut do we owe the honor?"
"Necessity," Twilight responded grimly. "By decree of the Octarchy, we are here to claim custody of one of your prisoners. Due to a royal emergency, there isn't time to explain. Please bring to us the prisoner currently housed in Cell 3A, if you would. This letter should be proof enough to allow you to legally remand him into our custody for the remaining duration of his sentence." She levitated Celestia's letter out of her saddlebag and allowed the deputy to skim it quickly.
"Of course, yer Highnesses," the deputy said, bowing again. "Right this way..." He led them to Cell 3A, unlocking the door with a simple wrought-iron key.
Twilight ignited her horn's magic field, and cancelled the inversion spell on the door herself, with a burst of pink light. "Jason!" she called. She looked into the cell to see him prone on the bunk, asleep--but as he heard Twilight's voice, he opened his eyes and sat up, blinking.
"H'lo, your Highness," he yawned. "Still a bit early for another Q&A session, isn't it?"
"That's not why we're here," she told him. "Celestia needs to see us. All of us, you included, as close to immediately as we can manage."
"What's going on?" He rose from the bunk and hurried across the room to the sink to rinse his face in an effort to wake up more fully.
"We don't know much yet. I'd rather tell you on the way, anyway. Come on!" She headbutted his shins away from the sink.
"Ahh! All right, if it's this urgent, somepony must be about to die or something...!" He followed after the seven of them, trying to rub encrusted tears off the corners of his eyes with his fingers. Once they had gathered in the street below the sheriff's office, Twilight was about to charge up her teleport spell once more when she was interrupted by the sound of somepony clearing his throat.
"'Scuse me, yer Highness, but could I ask ya a favor? Leave Princess Celestia's letter here, so's I don't git in trouble with Sheriff Star in th' mornin'? I'll still let him know where y'all went with the prisoner, but it'd be nice ta have some proof." The deputy held out a hoof for the letter, not daring to look the Bearer of Magic in the eye.
Twilight's pink TK field all but slapped him in the face with the letter, she was in such a tearing hurry. One magenta flash later, and the only evidence anypony had visited was the open doors, a cloud of dust billowing where the visitors had been, and a fading echo of "Sorry...!" drifting on the nighttime breeze. Now where the hay are they goin' s' fast? An' at this hour of the night, too...? the deputy wondered, left gazing at the scene in bewilderment.
As they reappeared in the throne room of Canterlot Castle, Jason voiced a similar question to Twilight. She responded, "Celestia said it was a national emergency, and that we were to meet her in the medical wing. That's all I know right now." She turned down the hall she remembered from monthly health checkups as a filly, leading the seven others behind her to a pair of double doors at the end of the hallway. As they came close, the doors were suddenly swathed in a dark-blue glow and opened to reveal Princess Luna standing there.
"Ah, Bearers. Thou art here, and Jason Clavoli as well. Good. Walk with me, an thou wouldst." Luna turned and led them to a circle of chairs in a secluded alcove close to the door to a suite of examining rooms on the far side of the room from the entryway. Once all those present, pony, human, and dragon alike had found appropriate seating, Luna spoke.
"My sister and I have this night shared a... disturbing, nay, e'en frightening vision. The Soul-Drinker is abroad in Canterlot and "up to his old tricks," I believe is the modern way to put it. He hath attacked an innocent pony who was merely minding his own business, and left him in such a state as e'en my sister and I have not observed in tens of millennia at the least." She rose from her chair, spreading her wings to parachute lightly onto the floor as her listeners stood to their feet and hooves as well. "Celestia sits at the poor unfortunate's bedside e'en now. Come. See for thine own selves what ill work our ancient enemy wreaks."
The Lunar Princess led the eight of them down the hall to one of the recovery rooms, where Celestia sat at the bedside of a tan unicorn. The poor stallion was in a coma, his eyes apparently glazed with a white film that left his pupils and irises looking gray and indistinct. A heart monitor at the other side of the bed chirped sluggishly, emitting one beep perhaps every ten to fifteen seconds.
"Hello, girls... and Spike and Jason." Celestia greeted them softly, not wanting to disturb the unicorn's recovery. "Luna told you what has happened?" She received answering nods from all around. "Yet this isn't even close to the most diabolical crime Tirek committed tonight. Look." A flare of golden magic, gentle as a shaft of sunlight falling on a rug, swept the blanket and sheet aside to reveal... the stallion's complete lack of a cutie mark.
"Prin--Celestia?" Twilight exclaimed softly, catching herself. "Isn't he a little old not to have his special talent yet? Adult ponies without them are extremely rare," she explained to Jason.
"Indeed he would be... if that were what had happened. But, my fellow alicorns, dragon, and human, something much worse has befallen poor Rare Find here.
"We have grounds to believe that this stallion does not have his cutie mark any longer... because Tirek ate it." Gasps went up from four of the ponies there, the dragon, and the human--all of the Bearers but Twilight and Pinkie, in fact.
"Well, duh! What else would you expect from somepony called the "Soul-Drinker?" Pinkie looked around at the others. "Geez, all of you sure are slow on the uptake tonight...!"
"Given the historical records of his first two (1) appearances on Equis, I can't say I'm at all surprised," Twilight put in grimly. "I could make a pretty good guess, but just for the sake of completeness, Celestia, what was the doctors' diagnosis of his condition?"
"Severe Magical Exhaustion," (2) Celestia replied, with a sorrowful look. "The doctors estimate that Tirek only left Rare Find with enough magic to stop him from dying outright. Obviously, he's approaching this like a farmer would a perennial food plant--'harvest,' then leave enough in place so the 'fruit can grow back,' as it were."
Twilight snorted, nodding once, firmly. "It figures...!" She threw her forehooves into the air, frustratedly. "First Discord, then the rest of his family, not to mention the changelings--and now this?! Why is it that every cosmically powerful being on the block seems to view Equestria as their own personal buffet?!" she cried. "I'm getting a little tired of it!"
"Not every cosmically powerful being, Twilight," Jason wrapped a comforting arm around her withers. "There's still the Maker on our side, as long as we stay on His." He smiled at her, then grew sober. "After this, though, I might have to ramp up the pace of how quickly I share with you Terra's discoveries in this area. With your permission, your Highnesses?" He looked around at the eight alicorns standing around him, who nodded acceptance of his offer. "Thank you. I'll do my best to help you. Now, Twilight, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, I need to ask you a question."
The three of them looked back at him curiously. "Why only us?" Celestia asked.
Jason shrugged. "From what I've seen as a Watcher, it just seems to me that you three are the most mathematically skilled ponies here at the moment. As for the question--in the other timeline, it seemed to me that with Discord as a partner, it took Tirek about one or two weeks to gain enough power to come after your counterparts. How long do you estimate he'll take going at this by himself?"
"His power increases on an exponential curve with each pony he drains," Celestia replied. "The stronger he becomes, the more we are all in danger."
"But doing it one pony at a time until he gains strength enough to drain crowds..." Twilight mused to herself, doing calculations in her head. "It should take him at least two months, if not even longer."
"Forsooth," Luna scowled. "'T'will be the unalloyed mercy of the Maker and Harmony Themselves if it doth take e'en that long."
"In that case, I might have to teach you essential defenses first," Jason said.
"Not yet, if you please," Celestia told him. "First, I would like to see if anything can be done for poor Rare Find here. It would seem to me that the most expedient method of aiding him would be a magic transfusion." All the Bearers stepped forward at this, but Celestia raised a forehoof. "Twilight?" she said softly, separating her former student from her friends with a wing.
"Me?" Twilight's eyes widened. "But... but... Princess Celestia, you always told me I was supposed to keep it a secret...."
Celestia smiled. "Given the nature of the emergency--and the nature of the present company--I think the time has come for widening the circle of those in on your secret, Twilight." She stepped over to the wall and levitated over an apparatus that looked to Jason like two metal cones connected by a clear tube. She placed one of the cones over Twilight's horn and the other over Rare Find's. "Go ahead, Twilight. But keep the pace of your transfer slow at first, so Find's font can handle the refill.--Too quickly, and his system may go into shock," she explained to the others.
Twilight charged her horn and a stream of purplish-magenta energy made the cone she was wearing glow softly. The glow filled the tube with a gentle white light, which began slowly to surround the cone on Rare Find's horn. As Twilight worked, Celestia explained to the others, "As this generation's destined Bearer of the Element of Magic, Twilight possesses a font predicted to someday become larger than any pony's now living. (3) I counseled her to keep the fact a secret between herself, me, and the doctors I commissioned to watch after her health when she was a filly, in order that any ponies or other sapients loyal to Nightmare Moon would not hear of her potential and attempt to subvert her loyalties to Equestria or foalnap her for ransom or some other dark purpose." She looked solemn. "This is, of course, supposed to remain between us in this room, you understand." Jason, Spike and the other five alicorns nodded, while a mournful expression crossed Luna's face.
"I'm sorry we caused you so much trouble, big sister," Luna said to Celestia with tears beginning to prick at the corners of her eyes. "Had I known what that--witch would be capable of, I ne'er would have agreed with her arguments a millennium agone."
"It's history now, Lulu," Celestia murmured, moving alongside Luna to embrace her in a wing-hug. "We forgave you a long time ago." She wiped the tears from Luna's eyes with a primary pinion and nuzzled her gently.
"I thank thee, sister," Luna said, sighing. "The regret shalt always remain with me, however. The pain remindeth me ne'er to fall to such deception again." She stiffened suddenly, pointing with her horntip. "Hark! Rare Find returneth to us!"
It was true. Twilight had channeled enough magic into the unicorn's system that his eyelids were fluttering, and he began to murmur under his breath like somepony dreaming.
"Is he friend, or is he foe, the pony wonders?... Lord Tirek... reclaim... should... mine long ago... Those eyes...! Twin coals, like two suns hanging in a black sky... Give me what I want!! MINE...! No--no... too powerful...! Yes, Lord Tirek...! Overpowered me... Need it... Cutie Mark... mine... lost... forever?? Can't be, it just can't..." Tears began to flow from under his eyelids, spilling down his cheeks to wet the pillow under his head.
"Rest, my little pony," Celestia said, drawing the sheet and blanket back over Rare Find's body, which had begun to quiver--whether from sobs or a drop in temperature, Jason couldn't know. "You shall be recompensed for this loss. On my honor as a Princess of Equestria, I promise you this." She turned to face the others, steel glinting in her expression. "We must locate Tirek before he manages to do more damage."
"Excuse me, your Highness, but locate him and do what? Anyone you send after him would just be another course at his buffet, don't you see?" Jason gestured at Rare Find's still-prone form. "What would Equestria do if one or more of you ends up like him? And what good would it do? You'd just be making yourselves deathly ill to no point and purpose!" He stared the solar princess in the eye, pleading. "I have to teach you how to protect yourselves from him before you meet! Please, Celestia! You need to approach this in a way that makes sense for everyone--all of Equus, not just Rare Find or the rest of your subjects! You agreed to let me help, remember? Give me the chance!"
"I see your point, Jason, but we cannot allow this monster to roam unchecked, doing as he wishes among our subjects," Celestia told the human. "We must find some way to contain the damage he may even now be doing among our little ponies."
"I know, your Highness, but the way to accomplish that is not to send unprotected ponies out to confront the Soul-Drinker--that just plays right into his hands. We need to start defensive classes for every unicorn, pegasus and earth pony you can reach with the offer, preferably before Tirek sucks them into comas like he did with Rare Find here; after all, Twilight may have a pretty big font, but it surely isn't infinite, is it?" Jason looked at Celestia somberly.
"No--" Celestia replied, moving close to Jason and leaning down to whisper into his ear, "at least, not yet." She looked back at him as an expression of impish delight flickered briefly across the background of her eyes. He blinked in surprise, opening his mouth to say something, but Celestia hushed him, putting a hoof to her lips in a surprisingly parallel gesture to that of the Terran equivalent. He nodded. Celestia obviously wanted this factoid about Twilight's future capacity kept secret from even her former student, though Jason couldn't imagine why.
"These lessons seem an excellent notion to me, sister," Luna put in. "If Tirek's dire weapon canst be warded against, should we not give such a shield to as many ponies as we may? It may make the difference betwixt victory on the one pair of hooves, and shameful defeat 'pon the other," she urged.
"Agreed, Luna," Celestia said after a moment. "As the two most senior members of the Equestrian Octarchy, we shall hereby decree in open court at the first opportunity that the human, Jason Clavoli, is henceforth not only pardoned, but given the official post of PhysioArcanic Training Instructor, (4) to be assumed immediately upon public decree and continued for the duration of the current crisis."
Though Celestia did not declare this pronouncement in the Royal Canterlot Voice, every being consciously present felt its power. The Diarchs of the Sun and Moon had spoken, and woe be to anycritter--pony, dragon, minotaur, or demon--who tried to deny their Royal Highnesses' official will.
Pinkie Pie leaped into the air, gasping. "Ohmygosh omigosh omigosh omigosh!! Do you realize what this means?! We've just been given even more to celebrate! I've got so much to do...!" With a sproing and a whoosh, she took off out the nearest window. The rest of the girls and Jason stared after her for a moment, then shook their heads bemusedly, turning back to Celestia and Luna.
Jason bowed. "Thank you, your Highnesses. I'm honored to accept, unofficially." He chuckled. "The official part obviously comes later...!" He looked around at the seven alicorns who remained standing in the hospital room. "So, is it agreeable to everypony if we start the first training sessions, say, a week or so after Pinkie gets through with whatever she's planning, just to give me time to get settled in to Ponyville?"
"Keep in mind, we are facing a crisis situation," Celestia told him soberly. "I shall work with Ponyville's fire marshal to see which public building in town can hold as many ponies as wish to attend your defense classes."
"Celestia, why not let me handle that end of it?" asked Twilight. "I'm more familiar with Ponyville and its bureaucratic workings than you are. With Applejack and Rarity's help, we can probably secure a place for the classes within a day or two at the most." She barely suppressed a squeal at the thought of the geometry she'd get to study.
Celestia smiled fondly. "Certainly, Princess Twilight. I shall be glad to let you handle the part of this burden you handle best. In the meantime," she continued, turning to Jason, "why don't you and the others stay here in the palace with us? I'll have our seneschal find you a guest room until after I raise the sun tomorrow morning--you can't have slept very well in Appleloosa's prison."
"I appreciate the kind and generous offer, your Highness," replied Jason, bowing to Celestia. "I'll certainly accept--on one condition."
"What is that?" Celestia asked, confusion crossing her face for a moment.
"Simple: that you make the announcement where Appleloosa is capable of hearing it. I need them to see the reason we're doing this, because otherwise it may look like you're playing favorites, and the ponies of Appleloosa are very justice-conscious. At a time like this, the last thing you need is anypony accusing you of tyranny."
"Very well. Appleloosa does possess television and radio capabilities by now, doesn't it?" Rainbow nodded to Celestia. "Good! Then I shall make my announcement at the same press conference which announces your pardon. That should be sufficient. Shall we go?" The members of the Octarchy (except for Pinkie), Spike, and Jason turned and left Rare Find's hospital room, proceeding back down the hallways to the throne room.
Author's Note
(1) Rescue at Midnight Castle and the incident Celestia narrated from the book in the show.
(2) The concepts of unicorn fonts and Magical Exhaustion are gratefully borrowed from CyborgSamurai's story The Powers of Harmony.
(3) As detailed here, and here.
(4) Based on this.
Enjoy!