Chapters Chapter 1: Roam
A brown stallion was standing around a hexagonal table panel, fiddling with the levers and switches all over the top of it. In a fluid motion, he went from one side of the platform to another to do the same motions with the instruments on that side.
“I must say, fiddling with the TARDIS’ controls are a bit more of a challenge when you don’t have hands,” the pony said to himself as he continued his manic frenzy around the platform. “Now I just need to bring this old girl in for a smooth landing….” as the Doctor spoke, the entire TARDIS violently shook around him, “Right, smooth….”
The machine died down as the Doctor looked at one of the screens on his console. Reading the data aloud, he hopped down from the platform where the console was held, “Equestria, present day, Ponyville, a pleasant location to take a small break. And in my current incarnation, I won’t get weird looks from the locals. Honestly, it was like if all of Satellite Five had never seen an alien pony before. The nerve of them all!”
Opening the doors of the TARDIS, the Doctor took a step out and took a deep breath of the crisp, clean air, “As much as I love the TARDIS, there is nothing quite like taking in a lungful of fresh air. Sure, the TARDIS has a swimming pool, but does it have it’s own atmosphere?” The Doctor started to trot towards town as he answered himself, “Actually, it might. I didn’t read the instruction manual after, but how dare it question me!”
The brown pony continued talking to himself as he left his machine unattended on the side of the road.
Coming from the town were three young fillies who passed by the Doctor. The girls, however, were lost in their own conversation to pay him any mind.
“I don’t think that was the best way to try and get our cutie marks….” Sweetie Belle stated.
“Well, if we can’t get our cutie marks in sheep herding, what can we get it in?” Scootaloo asked.
“If that was our special talent, ah would of gotten it a long time ago,” Applebloom commented, “Besides, what made ya think that was yer talent, Scootaloo?”
The orange pegasus shrugged, “Because I’m running out of ideas?”
Sweetie Belle added, “But those sheep were mean! They didn’t listen to us at all.”
“That’s because ya kept ‘baaing’ like a sheep,” the earth pony pointed out.
“I was talking to them. I was trying to see if they could help us by working with us!” the unicorn exclaimed.
Scootaloo stopped in her tracks as something big and blue caught her eye, “Whoa….check it out.”
“Check what out?” Applebloom spoke before she also saw the target, “Oh mah….”
Finally, Sweetie Belle also saw the large, blue figure before them, “What is it?”
“There are some words at the top,” the yellow filly pointed with her hoof.
“Pony….box….pony box?” Scootaloo read and then echoed, “What’s a pony box?”
“Ooo! Maybe it’s one of those boxes that really rich ponies use to store their fancy clothing! Rarity told me a lot of ponies in Canterlot have them,” Sweetie Belle mused happily at her thought.
“I don’t think that’s what it is, Sweetie Belle. It’s too….weird.” Scootaloo said.
“Where do ya think it came from?” Applebloom trotted around the blue box.
Sweetie Belle raised her hoof in the air like an eager schoolfilly wanting to answer, “Maybe it fell from the sky!”
Scootaloo gave a disbelieving stare to her unicorn friend, “How does that make sense?”
The unicorn tilted her head, “We were trying to make sense?”
As her two friends were talking, Applebloom touched one of the sides of the blue box. At first, she touched part of it and quickly moved her hoof away the moment the side gave way. However, she then touched it again, realizing it was door. “Hey, girls….it’s open.”
“What? Cool, let’s go in!” the orange filly proclaimed. From behind, she shoved her friends into what they believed to be a small wooden box.
As they entered, the three ponies were amazed to see how large the insides of the box were. They looked around to see a platform in the middle of the huge room with some sort of big table at the top of it. The shape of the room alone baffled the fillies along with how messy and unkempt it was.
Sweetie Belle spoke first, “It’s bigger….”
“….on the inside….” Scootaloo finished the thought they were all thinking.
“What is this place? It’s so….weird lookin’….” Applebloom spoke as her head moved around, trying to take in all of the oddities before her.
“It looks neat!” Sweetie Belle happily stated as she galloped forward and up onto the platform, “Look at how cool all of this stuff is!”
The pegasus followed suit, “It sure does!” Standing up on the platform with Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo looked down at the wires and what not below through the glass floors, “Just imagine what this thing does!”
Applebloom trotted up to the platform as well, “What do ya think it does?”
Both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo shrugged, having no idea. “Let’s find out!” the unicorn said as she started to mess around with the switches on the console. With her meddling, the machine came to life.
Scootaloo walked up to one part of the console as well, “That’s not how you make this machine work! This is how!” The pegasus started to flip switches and pull levers on her side as well. The machine started to speed up, becoming more frantic.
Finally, the earth pony trotted up to yet another side of the hexagonal console, “That’s not how ya start the machine! Ya’ll aren’t pressin’ enough buttons!” With that, Applebloom started to press all sort of buttons in a fury with her hooves.
With each of the Cutie Mark Crusaders fiddling with the TARDIS console, the engine began to whir up and make a distinctive sound. The noise caused the fillies to step away from the console.
“What’s happening?” Sweetie Belle shouted over the noise, clinging to the railing around the platform.
“The machine, it’s alive!” Applebloom shouted out in fear.
All of the fillies screamed for their lives as the entire TARDIS began to violently rumble.
Outside, the brown stallion had returned to his TARDIS to hear the same whirring noise. “Oh no. No, no no, no. How is this possible?” Rapidly galloping towards his machine, he leapt through the open door just as the machine vanished from the surface of Equestria.
Chapter 2: Hold On Tight
All three of the fillies were holding on the railing as the TARDIS rocked back and forth. Their cries for help were full of panic and fear.
The brown stallion, however, kept his calm demeanor about him. Closing the door he had just leapt through to board the TARDIS, he carefully trotted up to the platform.
He spoke to the youngsters, “Keep calm, girls. Just need to settle the old TARDIS down….somehow.” His words were comforting to the fillies. At the console, the stallion pulled a few certain levers and pressed a few buttons. Within moments, the entire room not only stopped shaking, but a stillness filled the atmosphere.
“Wow….how did you do that?” Scootaloo was the first speak to the brown pony.
Taking a moment to catch his breath, he turned around and answered, “Easy, I’m the Doctor!” The tone of his voice seemed to have a touch of cockiness.
“Doctor?” Applebloom tilted her head after she got back up on her hooves, “Doctor who?”
The yellow filly’s question simply made the Doctor smile even more, “Now that’s a long story. Anyway, back to the matter at hand, getting you girls back home.” The Doctor looked at the console in a very intensive manner. However, his expression changed from that of a joyful smile to a bleak stare. He quickly shuffled around the console looking at the different lights, screens, and other items. “Oh dear, this is looking quite grim.”
“What’s the matter, Mr. Doctor?” Sweetie Belle asked.
Hopping down the stairs of the platform, the Doctor started to speak, “First, don’t ever call me anything other than the ‘Doctor’. Except maybe ‘John Smith’ or ‘Theta Sigma’.” The Doctor turned around and corrected himself, “Wait, don’t call me any of those. Just call me the ‘Doctor’.” He then resumed his trotting to the door. Opening it wide open, a bright light flooded into the TARDIS.
The three fillies shielded their eyes from the brightness and trotted over to where the Doctor was by the door. The four ponies looked out to see a supernova amongst the blackness of space. The Doctor instantly recognized the star.
“This is bad. We’re heading straight for that hypergiant star. The Pistol Star of all stars.” The Doctor spoke, “We’re caught in its gravitational pull. I say we have an hour at most.”
“Wait, we’re flying into that sun?” Scootaloo pointed out of the TARDIS door to the star.
“To answer your question, yes. But it’s not a sun. Well, to some planet and race, I’m sure it is, but out here in space, it’s a star,” the Doctor explained.
Applebloom poked her head out of the TARDIS door and looked around “How are we still breathin’ with the door open?”
“A protective atmosphere bubble keeps us safe.” The Doctor simply stated as he grabbed the doors to close. However, he was interrupted before he could shut the them.
“Then won’t it keep us safe if we run into the sun?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“It’s not the heat or the atmosphere that would kill us, it’s the impact of crashing on to that star’s surface,” with that statement, the Doctor shut the door.
Returning to his console, he looked around at the instruments all over in hopes to find the cause of the problem, “What could be causing this problem? Why are we being flung straight into a star? Wouldn’t the TARDIS simply orbit the star instead of throwing us at it? Maybe this is revenge for throwing the manual into a supernova.”
The three ponies returned to the platform with the Doctor. Scootaloo spoke, “You threw the manual into a supernova?”
“Yes, because I disagreed with it! Why does every single individual that I say that to think that’s weird?” The Doctor proclaimed.
The fillies didn’t reply. Instead, they all gave each other uneasy looks.
“Ah ha! That’s why you haven’t been working, you need zeiton 7. How could I be so daft?” the Doctor talked to the machinery.
“Are you talking to the machine?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“The old girl can hear me. She’s a wonderful machine, you know. I take care of her and she takes care of me,” the Doctor quickly turned to face the fillies, “Now, I need the help of you three. What are your names?”
“Wha?” This sudden change caught the Cutie Mark Crusaders off guard.
The Doctor restated what he said, “Come along, I might not have been Equestria long, but I know for a fact your species have names to express your individuality.”
The girls answered him.
“I’m Sweetie Belle.”
“Scootaloo.”
“Ah’m Applebloom.”
A warm smile appeared on the Doctor’s face, “Wonderful, beautiful names. Now, I need two of you to go deep inside the TARDIS and find a small container of zeiton 7 about this size.” The Doctor held his hooves up to show the size of the container.
“I’ll go!” Sweetie Belle loudly announced.
“Me too,” Applebloom stated.
“Excellent. The vial is in a silverish container and might be near the Zero Room. Just follow the signs,” the Doctor instructed.
“What about me?” Scootaloo asked eagerly.
“You, my little pegasus, will be helping me make some much needed repairs up here….with this!” from seemingly out of nowhere, the Doctor produced a small cylinder device that popped upward and had a green light. He turned his attention back to all three ponies, “We all know our roles, right? Meet back here as soon as you find it. Ready, break!”
Chapter 3: Wander
Within five minutes of wandering through the TARDIS, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom were already lost among the twisting corridors and numerous hallways. The two were understandably scared of the strange environment, but they kept their spirits up by talking with one another.
“So what’s a zero room anyway?” Applebloom asked as they started trotting down a new hallway.
“I think it’s a room like a library, but no one goes in there,” Sweetie Belle replied.
The earth pony was silent for a moment before speaking again, “How does that make sense?”
Sweetie Belle stopped walking and used her hooves in her demonstration, “Like, you have a library, but it’s full of bad books. Dumb books, you know? Rarity always says while there are good books, there are bad books, like that one vampire novel she read once. Um….I think it was called ‘Dawnlight’ or something like that.”
Applebloom was not convinced, “Ah still don’t think that’s what a Zero Room is.”
After a bit of silence, the unicorn filly spoke up again, “You think we should open some of these doors and look inside?”
“Couldn’t hurt,” the yellow pony shrugged.
The two ponies started to open and close every door they found. Despite not finding the Zero Room, they found a number of other rooms. These included a croquet court, a kitchen, a drawing room with a number of artifacts, a garage with a number of strange machines, a swimming pool, a laboratory, at least eight bathrooms (one of them with a leaky tap), a zoo with strange and exotic creatures, and many different closets.
Applebloom exited one of the closets with a large, multi-colored scarf that was wrapped around her neck but still dragged on the ground behind her as she walked, “Do ya think Mr. Doctor will be okay with me wearin’ this?”
“I don’t think he’d miss it. There are certainly a lot of stuff in these rooms. It’s just so big,” Sweetie Belle commented.
Applebloom nodded, “Let’s try the next door.”
The two fillies opened the next door to see a figure standing on the other side. Both of the ponies screamed and quickly closed the door.
“Wh-What was that thing?” Applebloom was breathing quickly.
“I don’t know! It looks….so weird,” the unicorn replied.
Against their better judgment, the girls opened the door again, this time slowly. Poking their heads through the opening, they got a better view of the figure looking at them. This figure, however, did not purse or do react majorly to their presence.
The figure had a pale pink-ish, squid-like head with a white wire coming down from the tentacles, leading to an orb. The rest of the body was clothed in a grey. The orb was held by the body part at the end of one of his upper limbs.
The alien figure looked down at the fillies. His orb lit up as a voice was emitted, “May I be of any assistance?”
Chapter 5: My Friends
“W-Who are you?” the scared unicorn asked the creature standing before the two ponies.
It didn’t reply right away. Instead, it slowly blinked and raised its orb up again. The orb lit up again and the voice was heard, repeating what it had just stated, “May I be of any assistance?” The tentacles on its face seemed to move slightly.
“We didn’t mean ta wake ya, mister. We’re just lookin’ for some zeiton 7….or somethin’,” Applebloom spoke up, her voice shaking.
“Zeiton 7,” the creature stated, “I shall fetch it for you, madams.” The creature started to walk out of the door the girls were standing near.
The ponies quickly followed the tall creature.
“Excuse me, mister. Who are you?” Sweetie Belle asked as she kept pace with him on one side.
“I am an Ood,” he replied.
“What’s yer name?” the earth pony asked, trotting on the other side of him, still dragging along the large, colorful scarf.
“I do not have a name. All Ood are given a name by their owners.”
“Owners? Are you like a pet?”
“All Ood are servants to their masters,” he explained, continuing his walking down the corridors.
“Well, ya gotta have a name! Let’s give him one!” Applebloom cheered joyfully.
“Good idea! How about….Oody?”
“Nah, that sounds rather lazy. How about Mr. Squidy?”
“I like it!” Sweetie Belle nodded with a smile. She looked up at the Ood and proclaimed, “From now on, your name is Mr. Squidy, and you’re our friend!”
“Friend,” the Ood echoed, “I do not understand.”
“A true, true friend helps a friend in need, and that’s what you’re doing now!” Sweetie Belle explained.
“We couldn’t do it without ya! We barely know what zeiton 7 is.”
The unicorn butted in, “All we know is that the Doctor needs it.”
“Doctor,” the Ood’s orb lit up, “Doctor-Donna. Doctor-Donna….friend.”
“Yeah, now yer gettin’ it!” Applebloom spoke up, “The Doctor is our friend!”
“Whose Donna?” Sweetie Belle peered over to her pony friend.
Applebloom shrugged.
Chapter 6: I Alone
“That’s it! The cable is fused perfectly fine. Now, we just need the zeiton 7 and we can get the TARDIS back and running,” the Doctor hopped up from his position of lying below the console, “Open up the door, we need to see how much time we have.”
“Yes, sir!” Scootaloo trotted quickly to the door and opened them up. The light from the star flooded the console room yet again. The star was much closer than it was before. “It’s so huge….” the pegasus commented.
“And until we get that zeiton 7, it’s going to get much larger with each passing moment. Amy and Tegan need to hurry up,” the Doctor spoke, also looking out at the door.
“Amy and Tegan? You mean Applebloom and Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo looked directly at the Doctor.
“Yes, that’s what I said,” the Doctor insisted.
“No, you called them Amy and Tegan….and you called me Ace earlier,” Scootaloo countered. She wasn’t going to let the Doctor escape.
‘Nonsense, I know what I said.”
“And I know what you said. Who are Ace, Tegan and Amy?” Scootaloo raised her voice.
The Doctor closed the doors, closing off the bright light, “Old friends,” his voice dropped in tone.
“Old friends? I don’t understand.”
“Remember when you asked me if I travel alone? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. When I do, it’s with some of the most amazing individuals, ones I could have only imagined,” the Doctor mused. “Curious individuals like Sarah Jane Smith and Rose Tyler. Spunky characters like Adric, Donna Noble, and Ace. Sly and mischievous like Turlough and Leela. And so many others….Harry, Romana, Ian and Barbara, Wilfred, Tegan, Martha, Amy and Rory, Jamie, Grace, River, Jack, even my own granddaughter Susan to just name a few….and of course K9, such a good dog.”
Scootaloo was dumbfounded at the Doctor’s reply, “What happened to them?”
A small, sad smile appeared on his face. He closed his eyes as he spoke, “All journeys must come to an end. While I still have a long time to go, none of my friends had the luxury. Some come and go as they please, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” The smile suddenly disappeared, “Others, unfortunately didn’t….survive.”
Scootaloo raised a hoof up to her mouth in astonishment.
Opening his eyes again, the Doctor spoke in a hushed tone, “To answer your question, Scootaloo, they are my friends. I guess I just haven’t gotten over the fact that they’re gone. Guess I might never get over it.”
Looking up into the Doctor’s eyes, the pegasus replied, “I can tell you haven’t, Doctor. All this time being alone has shown. You seem to have the deepest, saddest eyes I’ve ever seen.”
Another small smile appeared on his face. Raising a hoof up to her head, the Doctor roughed up Scootaloo’s mane a little, “You certainly are just like Ace. Can you promise me something, Scootaloo?”
“What is it?”
The Doctor’s voice was serious, “I want you to never take your friends for granted. I know the three of you have a strong bond together, it’s quite apparent. But it worries me that the three of you might not understand how great it is to just have friends by your side. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Can you promise me this if we get out of this predicament?”
“You mean when we get out of this,” Scootaloo said with a bout of confidence in her voice.
The stallion couldn’t hold back the smile, “Full of confidence and spunk, that’s what I love to see in a companion.”
“I promise you, Doc,” the filly nodded.
“Oi! That’s ‘Doctor’ to you!” the brown pony roughed up the pegasus’ purple mane. Both ponies shared a laugh like close friends.
A voice called out into the console room, interrupting their laughter, “We’re back!”
Chapter 7: Some Fantastic
Chapter 7: Some Fantastic
Applebloom and Sweetie Belle returned to the console room with the Ood following behind.
“Did you find the zeiton 7?” the Doctor asked before he realized they came back with a new individual.
“Uh-huh! And our new friend helped us out!” Sweetie Belle chimed.
“Ah call him Mr. Squidy!” Applebloom added happily.
Scootaloo was shocked at the sight of the Ood, “What in Equestria is that?”
“What’s an Ood doing on board? Did I pick up another hitchhiker?” the Doctor rubbed his chin as he thought.
“I have brought zeiton 7 for Doctor,” the Ood spoke, holding it’s orb up to speak.
The Doctor dropped his thinking and returned to the matter before him, “Yes, right! Zeiton 7 over here, my good Ood!” The Doctor quickly hopped up on the console platform where he was joined by the Ood. Taking the vial of zeiton 7, the Doctor began his work.
Elsewhere in the room, the fillies reunited.
“What is that….thing?” Scootaloo asked her friends.
“He’s super nice. He even asked if we wanted ta have some tea,” Applebloom added, pulling up the remainder of the scarf up to the rest that was wrapped around her neck.
The unicorn’s eyes lit up, “Oh, could you imagine having him over for a tea party? It would be so much fun!”
“Do Oods like tea? Ah don’t wanna force our friend ta do somethin’ he doesn’t like,” Applebloom stated.
“He’s your friend now?” the pegasus asked.
“Yeah! He said the Doctor was a friend, too. And Donna, whoever that is.”
Without the fillies knowing, the Ood was standing near them, holding his orb. It lit up as he spoke, “May I be of any assistance?”
“Huh? Aren’t you helping the Doctor?” Scootaloo was puzzled.
“Doctor asked for me to see if others might need assistance,” the Ood stated. The fillies leaded to one side to see that the Doctor was furiously moving about the console and talking to himself. Turning their attention back to the Ood, he spoke again, “May I be of any assistance?”
“Uh….no thanks, Mr. Squidy,” the orange pony said.
“Hold on, the TARDIS is back up and working!” the Doctor shouted for the entire room to hear. The machine came back to life, which caused the Doctor to laugh and congratulate himself. “Right, now let’s get back to Equestria before we crash headfirst into the surface of a star, shall we? Geronimo!”
Flipping a switch, the TARDIS made a loud whirring noise, causing it to shake roughly, rocking all of the occupants within. With that, they traveled back through time and space.
Outside of the TARDIS, back in Equestria, the Doctor looked down at the Cutie Mark Crusaders with a stern glare.
“Now girls, what did you learn?” the Doctor looked down at the fillies.
The white unicorn spoke first, “The TARDIS is a spaceship, not a toy.”
The Doctor continued, “And?”
Scootaloo added, “We shouldn’t take things that are not ours, especially if those things can travel through time and space”
“And?” the stallion edged on, looking at Applebloom in particular.
“We should never take somethin’ that is not ours either. Just because it’s hidden away in a closet, doesn’t mean it isn’t super important to somepony,” the yellow filly spoke up.
“And?” the volume of the Doctor’s voice grew.
A smile appeared on the Doctor’s face, “There it is. You girls will get know your true potential soon enough, I promise you that.”
“We’re really sorry, Mr. Doctor,” Sweetie Belle said.
“We didn’t mean to hurt anypony, honest,” the earth pony added.
“I know that you girls had good intentions, but it’s not enough to justify stealing a piece of ancient Gallifreian technology,” the brown pony lectured.
Scootaloo took a step forward, “But we didn’t mean to! It was like the machine was doing it all by itself!”
The Doctor paused for a moment before replying, “Well, that may be, you should still not have entered the TARDIS without permission. Understood?”
They all responded in unison, “Yes, Mr. Doctor.”
“Good, now run along, little fillies,” the Doctor smiled and waved to them. With that, the three ponies turned around and began to trot back to Ponyville, “Scootaloo?”
“Yes, Doctor?” the orange pegasus turned around to look at the brown stallion.
“Remember what I told you, treasure your friends,” he smiled.
“I promise!” Scootaloo nodded as she waved her hoof at the Doctor. She then quickly turned around to catch up with her friends.
Standing in the doorframe of the TARDIS, the Doctor watched the three fillies gallop back home. The Doctor smiled as he sighed, “Those three gals certainly have plenty of energy and optimism. Just the kind of thing I look for in companions. And they’ll be great ones. Of course, I already know that they will be. Once they grow up a bit and get their cutie marks, they’ll certainly enjoy traveling across the universe, from Mars to the Eye Of Orion, and everywhere in between.”
Turning himself around, the Doctor saw the Ood standing on the platform in silence. “Now then, time to return you to the Oodsphere where you belong, my friend.” With a spring in his trot, the Doctor made his way up to the platform and to the console. Moving his hooves across the console, the TARDIS began to come alive again. “Not much of a talker, are you?” he asked his guest.
END
Chapter 4: Stars
“So, what are you exactly, Doctor?” the orange pegasus looked down at the brown stallion as he fiddled with wires below the TARDIS console.
“That’s quite simple,” he joyfully replied, “I’m the Doctor!”
Scootaloo shook her head, “That’s not what I mean. What about this huge machine? And that weird thing you’re using.”
The Doctor pulled himself out from underneath to make eye contact with the filly. Holding up the item she was talking about, the Doctor spoke, “Oi! Don’t diss the sonic screwdriver! This little piece of technology has saved millions of lives!”
“Sure it has,” Scootaloo rolled her eyes before turning the attention back to what she had previously stated, “Anyway, just who are you? And don’t say ‘the Doctor’, or so help me….”
“I’m a Time Lord,” he answered, pulling himself back underneath the console to continue with his repairs.
The pegasus raised an eyebrow, “A Time Lord? What’s that?”
Continuing with his meddling with the console, he answered, “Let me give you a brief overview. “I’m the Doctor, a member of an ancient race of aliens known as Time Lords from the planet of Gallifrey. We were once a proud and powerful civilization, able to travel the universe and all of time. However, after a great war, our entire civilization was all but lost. And now, I am the last of the Time Lords. I journey around with my old TARDIS here, traveling across the stars from one place to another, putting right what once went wrong. Wait, that’s from Quantum Leap….”
“But, I don’t get it, why don’t you go back and save your planet with your time machine?” the little pony asked.
“There are some things that even a Time Lord cannot do, Ace.”
The incorrect naming puzzled Scootaloo, “Ace? Who’s Ace?”
“Come again?”
“You called me Ace, just now.”
“No I didn’t,” the Doctor insisted.
“Yes, you did.”
The brown pony didn’t miss a beat as he changed the subject, “Scootaloo, can you go fetch me the large black cable from below the platform and bring it up here? I need to fuse it up here to help the zeiton 7 react with the machinery more efficiently.”
With an annoyed sigh, Scootaloo agreed and dropped the subject at hoof. Instead, she asked another question, “So you travel alone?”
The Doctor was a bit hesitant to reply, “Not exactly. I have plenty of individuals who wish to travel the stars with me. Wonderful, fascinating characters.” A smile came to the Doctor’s face as he spoke.
“Where are they? Are they hiding in the ship?” the orange pony asked another question.
“Where’s that cable? I kind of need it so we don’t crash into a star, remember?”
“Oh, right! Coming up!”