My Name is The Loser

by crashlanding12

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Comedy, Romance
Length: 1482

Hi, I'm Derpy Hooves, otherwise known as The Loser. I go to Friendship High in Ponyville. My life sucks.

Hi, I am Derpy "Ditzy Doo" Hooves, otherwise known as the The Loser. I go to Friendship High in Ponyville. My life sucks. I have one friend, which is good. But my life doesn't feel complete.

AUTHORS NOTE: Vinyl Scratch, Applejack and Rainbow Dash are all boys to make sense of the plot, unless you want the story to be about lesbians. I don't care. Just don't rage on me. This is in the format of a TV show and is in Derpy's point of view. Also, it is rated teen for some language.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-21 23:30:04 UTC

Pilot: Hi, I'm Derpy

Derpy Hooves wakes up, the sunlight shining through the window. Her bedroom is bright and colorful, filled with art and pictures. She starts her morning routine: brushing her teeth, changing in to a gray and yellow sweater with seven bubbles, a pair of bright blue jeans and a pair of pink sneakers, and packs up her bag. During this, Derpy thinks in her mind, “Hi, I am Derpy Hooves, or otherwise known as, The Loser. I go to Friendship High, the worst school of all time.  I wake up every morning to see my very, and I mean very, Goth sister, Cadence.  She just lugs around and doesn’t normally talk to me.”

Derpy walks out of her room and walks toward a small kitchen. An older girl sits at the table, her hair in a gothic style, with a black tint. Derpy grabs a bowl and prepares a bowl of cereal for herself. She sits down at the table and looks to her sister. She says with cheerful expression, “Morning Cadence.”

Cadence looks around the room suspiciously and sighs. She gets up from her chair, walks over to the sink, and dumps out the full bowl of cereal that was previously in front of Derpy. Cadence looks over her shoulder and says, “Go get ready for school.”

Derpy grabs her backpack, and walks out the door. In her head she thinks, “See, what I tell you. I just live with my sister in a little run-down house.  My mom, well, passed away a couple of years ago. I don’t like talking about it, but nevermind that. I gotta go to school now.”

Derpy winds up in front of a three-story building, known as Friendship High. Many high school students stand in the front of the school.  A girl with bouncy, light green hair sits leaning against a wall. She has a pink sweater with a daisy on it. She smiles when she sees Derpy. Derpy runs up to Daisy with a few pages of paper, and says, “Hey Daisy!” In Derpy’s head, she says, “This is Daisy, my best, and only, friend. She loves flowers, especially daises.” Derpy continues speaking to her friend, “Did you understand the math homework? I was really confused while doing it.”

Daisy turns to her friend, her hair bouncing up and down with the breeze. “Derpy, you’re always confused.” Daisy says to her bubbly friend.

Behind them, a group of girls, known at the school as the Pearls, whispers about them. The leader of the group, Gem, a blonde with blue streaks in her hair, wearing a beret with a three diamond pattern, strides up to Daisy and Derpy. She scolds Derpy by saying, “Derpy, you are such a loser. With your disgusting, unfashionable hair, your weird chameleon eyes and your clothes choice. Seven bubbles, on a sweater?! What the hell does that mean?! “

Derpy backtalks to the lead bully of the school, “It’s for my bubbly personality, duh. And I can’t believe you had the time to count the bubbles on my sweater. I thought all you and the rest of the Pearls didn’t know how to count.” Derpy smirks. She didn’t think she would nor could backtalk to a major bully.

A boy with blond hair in a ponytail walks up to the group of girls. “Gem, when are you going to stop being so mean to everyone? In Derpy’s mind, she says, “This boy is Applejack. He and his friend Rainbow Dash are the Jocks. All of the girls go crazy over them. They are nice and all, but boys are pretty stupid in my opinion.” Applejack continues, “Seriously, what did Derpy ever do to you?”

Rainbow Dash, a boy with rainbow hair runs to the school behind them. He stops after seeing Applejack. “Applejack come on, we have to go meet up with the science teacher, remember?”

Applejack turns around to see his friend standing behind him. “Oh, right. I forgot about that. See you guys later!”

Gem sighs loudly. “Wow, isn’t just wonderful?” She says dreamily. Derpy barges in on the bully’s daydreaming, “He is nice, I guess.” Gem was alarmed by this. She got all up in Derpy face and said, “Back off from him, he is mine. Well, he will be.”

Derpy stepped back to get the fangirling bully out of her face. “Whatever.”

The first bell rings loudly and can be heard from outside of the school. Gem walks inside the school with the rest of the Pearls. Derpy turns to Daisy. “Come on Daisy. We are going be late for class.”

The New Guy of Friendship High

Derpy and Daisy walk into the school. The hallways filled with chatting students, different groups next to each other. Daisy turns to her friend, “What class do you first?” Derpy turned back to her friend, “Health. What do you have?”

Daisy’s face changes into a frown. “I have P.E.” Derpy’s face turns to a frown, and then back to a smile, “Well, at least we have Math together.”

Daisy smiles back to her friend, “True. I’m going to get a head start to class. See you later!” Daisy speeds down the hallway, waving to her friend. Derpy waves back.

Derpy walks to her locker and puts some books away. Just as she closes her locker, a boy with crazy blue and white hair runs down the hallway. Derpy walks away from her locker and slams right into the boy. The boy rubs his head, and says, “Sorry, I didn’t see you there.” Derpy turns her head towards him as he speaks. She feels sorry about it. “No, it’s okay. I run into others a lot.”

The boy helps Derpy off the ground, and looks straight into her crooked eyes. “Whoa, what happened to your eyes?” Derpy was alarmed; being asked this question always hurt her feelings. “They have always been like this.”

The boy helped her pick up the books now scattered about the hallway. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.” Derpy takes the books from him. “It’s okay. I’ve been called worse.”

The two stared at each other for a minute or so. To break the silence, the boy says, “Well, I’m Vinyl Scratch, I’m new here. I’m from Canterlot. Do you know where Music is?”

Derpy hadn’t had Music yet, so she didn’t know where it was.  “Sorry, but I don’t know where Music is, but Lyra does. Hey Lyra!”

Lyra, a girl with green hair and glasses, turns around to see the two. “Huh?” Derpy points to Vinyl, and says “Can you help Vinyl? He’s new. He is going to Music.” Lyra was somewhat confused. Derpy never talked to her, and her and Lyra were some of the losers at the school; Lyra being the nerd, Derpy being the loner.

Lyra says, “Oh, uh, sure. I’m going there too.” Vinyl walks over to Lyra and says, “Thanks Lyra.” He looks over his shoulder, “Thanks Derpy. Talk to you later.”

Lyra and Vinyl walk to Music and leave Derpy to think. In Derpy’s mind, she says, “Do I have a crush on someone?”

Suddenly, the bell rings. Derpy runs down the hallway and says, “Oh fuck, no! I’m going to be late to class.

Derpy ends up in front of a door. She opens the door to the Health room and sees the rest of the class in their seats. The teacher, Cadence, walks up to her, and says, “Do you have a note?”

Derpy sighs. “No, Miss Cadence.” Miss Cadence walks back to her desk, and says, “I’ll let you go this one time.”

The clock ticks fast as the class works. The bell rings loudly and the class of students rushes out of the classroom.

Derpy stops and leans against the wall and picks up her schedule and looks at it. “Okay, what do I have next?”

Vinyl walks up to Derpy and says, “Hey Derpy.”

Derpy drops her books and screams, “Ahh! Don’t scare me like that!”

Vinyl walks up to her and leans against the wall as well. “So, I was wondering what class you had next.” Derpy turns to her friend leaning against the wall she is leaning on, “Oh, I have Math.” Vinyl’s expression changed to a smile. “Cool, me too.”

Daisy walks up to the two leaning against the wall. She begins to talk to Derpy, not realizing Vinyl is there. “Derpy, wanna walk with me to- Who’s this?” The two turn their heads towards her. Derpy says, “Oh, Daisy, this is Vinyl Scratch. He’s new here.”

Daisy nods her head. Vinyl waves his hand and says, “Hey.”

“Vinyl’s in our Math class.”

Daisy keeps quiet for some unnecessary reason. She nods her head as Derpy speaks. “Come on guys. We should go to class.”

The threesome walk down the hallway and disappear from view. Then, the bell rings.