*Edited by Cirrus Tail*
I screwed up. Bad. Like, the worst screwup in all of Equestria. And I don’t know if I can fix it. I want to, but I have no clue how to. I mean, how would it look if I came crawling back to her now, after the way I acted? She’ll hate me no matter what I do. I’m just a bad friend. Just a bad friend that deserves to be alone.
And it’s all because I …
* * *
“Hey, Pinks, you ready?”
The eccentric earth pony gave a curt nod and salute, her face a mask of mock seriousness. Rainbow returned the salute before busting up into laughter. “Pinkie, prepare the cannon!”
Pinkie giggled, hopping to the rear of the cannon. “Okie dokie lokie!”
They waited, every nerve standing on end. It was the day, everything was perfect, and now all they needed was for the pieces to fall into place. Any minute now.
Rainbow’s smile grew. Any minute.
Pinkie shifted her legs. Any second.
Their hearts began to pound like drums. Should be soon.
Nothing. Irritated, Rainbow ruffled her wings. “What the hay,” she said, slamming a forehoof into the side of the cannon, “she was supposed to pass by right now!”
Pinkie shrugged. “Maybe she’s running late. Oh-oh-oh, or she found something! Like a really cool rock, or a tub of frosting!” Her eyes glazed over, a weird smile crossing her face. “Or an entire bathtub of frosting!”
Rainbow gave the pink mare a confused look before laughing again. “You are so random.” She glanced around, peering out of the bushes they had set up their prank. “Looks like nopony’s coming.” She sighed. “Oh well, let’s pack up the confetti cannon.”
It took a while, with just the two of them. “Hey, are you sure you just wanna leave the box here in a bush, Pinkie?” Rainbow said, giving the box a light kick. “I mean, what if, say, somepony finds and takes it?”
“Nah, it’s too heavy to carry, so I’ll get Mr. and Mrs. Cake to help me tomorrow.”
The two mares continued to walk down the road leading back to town, a brief silence passing over them. The path was wide and well-worn due to years of use, a side effect of Sweet Apple Acres being a major source of income for Ponyville. They had set up one of Pinkie’s party cannons to prank Applejack when she walked home from the market, only to be disappointed when she didn’t show. Now, Rainbow could only feel a bitter hollowness and boredom that always came whenever she failed. As for Pinkie, well, who could tell how that one felt; she always seemed like a ball of pure, bubbly joy.
In a vain attempt to push the slight disappointment from her mind, Rainbow turned to her friend. “So, uh, Pinkie,” she began, “what do you want to do now?”
Pinkie gasped and halted in her tracks before she charged in front of Rainbow and started jumping. It was so foalish and cartoony that Rainbow could almost swear that she heard an audible sproinging noise. “Oh, oh, oh, I know!” she said, hopping from hoof to hoof. “I’ll throw a ‘Sorry We Couldn’t Prank AJ Like We Wanted Because Of An Unforeseeable Event Party!’”
“Uh, don’t you think that’s kind of a long name for a party? Plus, its just the two of us today. Twilight’s studying, Rarity’s working, Fluttershy’s house sitting for that bear, and AJ’s … doing whatever.”
Pinkie spun around and gave a melodramatic gasp. “There’s never too few ponies for a party!” she yelled, a mask of seriousness crossing her face. If it weren’t for the smile tugging at her lips, it would almost be chilling. “Plus, no name is too long for a party! But, if you want, I could shorten it to ‘Sowecoprajliwewabeofanunev Party’ if that’s any easier.”
Rainbow nodded, not even attempting to follow what the she had just said. “Yeah, uh, thanks for that, Pinks. Real helpful.”
Pinkie beamed and started walking again. “Welp, I try!”
Watching her friend trot away, her every step a bounce, Rainbow couldn’t help but laugh. “You are so random,” she whispered, the phrase a mantra she repeated whenever Pinkie became too much.
“So, Pinkie, where are Mr. and Mrs. Cake anyway?”
The earth pony leaned in to take a drink from her cup. They were seated behind the counter of Sugarcube Corner, the home and workplace of the Cake’s and Pinkie, who rented and worked for a room of her own. Rainbow had hardly seen her work due to the mare’s erratic schedule and the Cake’s extreme leniency, but now was one of those few rare times that Pinkie had to work. Not that it was much work—just sitting and waiting for customers and retrieving what they ordered, already baked and fresh. Sitting up, Pinkie answered, “Well, they wanted to take Pound and Pumpkin to play in the park, so they asked me to fill in while they’re gone.”
“Oh, well, uh, sorry you couldn’t throw that party you wanted.”
Pinkie gave Rainbow Dash a confused look. “What do you mean? This is the party!” she said, throwing her forehooves out wide. “Even if it’s the two of us and there are no decorations—as long as friends can come together, be happy, and celebrate something, then it’s a party.”
Rainbow paused, thinking about her friend’s words. They made complete sense—which was weird, considering that she was speaking to Pinkie Pie of all ponies. But she was talking about parties, and if anypony was to know something about parties, it would be Pinkie. “Yeah,” Rainbow said, “yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“Hey, Rainbow, can I ask you something?”
Rainbow met Pinkie’s eyes. “What?”
“Uh...” Pinkie glanced around nervously.
No. Something settled inside of Rainbow Dash’s gut: hard, heavy, fighting to get out.
“I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while …”
No. She couldn’t be trying to tell me that, could she?
“… and I have no idea how to say this, but …”
No. Please don’t say it, please say something else. Rainbow felt her pulse quicken.
“… I, I, um,” Pinkie’s voice died away as she searched for the words, her eyes darting with an anxious energy.
Rainbow Dash let her nerves settle down. Maybe she’s not going to tell me. Not today at least.
Without warning, Pinkie leaned forward over her drink, her lips meeting Rainbow’s before darting back to her previous spot. “I like you … a lot.”
Rainbow Dash’s wings shot out, furious flaps lifting her into the air. No … not now.
“R-Rainbow?” Pinkie Pie’s voice was filled with uncertainty, her eyes looking like they were on the verge of tears. Her normally poofy mane didn't seem to be the same curly mess. It was an image of Pinkie that terrified Rainbow Dash and brought back memories of Pinkie Pie’s birthday: flashes of insecurity and loneliness she had hidden and everypony had ignored because that was an easier solution.
“Rainbow?”
Rainbow Dash didn't think, just reacted. She couldn't handle this; she couldn’t cope. So she flew. She flew right out of the bakery and away from her friend.
Some Element of Loyalty, she thought bitterly as tears threatened to well up and the wind whipped by.
Rainbow Dash sped forward, her hooves flying out to strike the clouds. Why? Why now, after all this time?
Even with time to cool off, she was fighting back tears. Why did she have to say anything? Couldn’t she see that it’s easier to pretend that the feelings didn’t exist?
A hoof flies out; another cloud destroyed. She screamed, holding out as long as she could until her lungs were empty, wishing she could fade into the echo.
“Rainbow Dash!”
Rainbow stopped mid flight, turning toward the voice, only to be met with furious aqua eyes. Oh, horse apples.
“Fluttershy, I can explai–” she was cut off, her cheek stinging from the slap.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, are you okay?” Fluttershy asked, momentarily losing her composure. “You … you do not do that to friends!”
“Do what?” Rainbow screamed back, her voice breaking. “What exactly did I do that was so bad?”
“That’s what we're trying to find out,” a new voice spoke up. Turning, Rainbow saw Twilight flapping hard to stay afloat, still unused to her wings since becoming an alicorn. “What in Equestria did you do, Rainbow Dash?”
“I don't know what you're talking about.”
“Oh, really?” Twilight said as Fluttershy flew to her side. “Pinkie is locked in her room crying, and refuses to talk to anypony, except to say ‘Ask Rainbow Dash.’” Her violescent eyes locked onto Rainbow. “So, what did you do?”
Rainbow Dash looked away, tears now flowing uncontrolled down her face. “Th-that’s my own business, Twilight. I’d like it if you just stayed out of it.”
Twilight’s and Fluttershy’s faces softened. “Rainbow,” Twilight said, a worried edge growing in her voice, “is everything alright? Look, if something happened between you and Pinkie, you can tell us. We're all friends here.” She flew forward, wrapping her forehooves around Rainbow’s neck and pulling her into a hug. “Whatever fight you and Pinkie got into, it’ll pass. You two are way too close to let it get to you.”
“Y-yeah,” Fluttershy added, hiding behind her pink mane now that her anger had dissipated. “Whatever the fight was about, it doesn't matter now.”
Rainbow couldn't meet either of her friends’ eyes. “We … we didn't have a fight.”
Twilight gave her a confused look. “Then what happened to make the both of you so upset?”
“She … kissed me, then told me she liked me.”
There was a brief pause before Twilight spoke up. “Oh.”
“‘Oh?’” Rainbow yelled, flailing, trying to push her friend away. “‘Oh’ is all you can say when you find out that Pinkie kissed me? Really?” Her voice broke, a hoarse whisper. “Is that all you can say when you find out that I'm a crappy pony that abandons her friends because I'm too stupid to do anything rational, ever?”
“If you don't like her that way, then why not just tell her instead of running away?” Fluttershy asked.
“Because I don’t know if I don't like her that way,” Rainbow screamed as what little hold on her composure broke away and her words came tumbling out like a waterfall. “I don't know if I don't like her that way because I don't want to think about it and it scares me that if I do like her, then we'll get close, then she'll leave, and I’ll be left alone like last time and … I'm scared, Fluttershy, Twilight. I’m so, so, so scared right now and nothing makes sense. I mean, I knew she liked me, but I pretended like it was nothing. I hoped it would just go away; just disappear like it never existed in the first place.”
Sighing, she looked away. “But I don't want to like her like that, and I know that doesn't make sense but … I’m scared that she'll leave in the end, I guess.” Rainbow stopped speaking, her breathing ragged and watery.
Waiting until she was sure Rainbow was finished, Twilight cleared her throat. “You don't need to be afraid of telling her how you feel, and you didn't need to run away like you did. She really likes you, Rainbow, and I think you really like her as well. So why are you afraid she’ll leave, if she’s the one that confessed her feelings?”
“Because that’s what always happens.”
“What do you mean?”
“Remember Gilda?” Rainbow asked. “After she left, she came back to my house and told me the only reason she acted the way she did was because she liked me. And even though I was still mad about what she did to Fluttershy, I still kinda had a thing for her. I always had, ever since flight camp. So I invited her in. We talked, and then one thing lead to another and … and we kissed. And then she left. She never came back, and just left me feeling empty. And that wasn't the first time, either. There were other mares, too. They all left me, either because they decided they liked stallions more, or because they got bored.
“I've never once asked any of them out. They all came to me, and then left. And every time it happened, it hurt more than the time before.”
Twilight stared at Rainbow, her brow furrowed in concern. “I’m sorry to hear that, but this is Pinkie that we’re talking about. No matter how erratic she acts, she still never does anything without conviction. She wouldn't kiss you if she was just going to leave. She does care about you, Rainbow.” Twilight flew in close, placing a forehoof on Rainbow’s shoulder. “I can tell you care for her, too, even if you're scared to admit it.”
“But,” Rainbow said, trying to bite back her fear, “what if I go to her and she hates me? I mean, I did just leave her crying. She has to hate me now. How couldn't she?”
“If she hated you, she wouldn't be as broken as she is now.”
Rainbow glanced away, raising a forehoof to scratch the back of her head. “Gee, thanks for making me feel so much better about completely abandoning my friend.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Sarcasm will get you nowhere.”
“I know, it just … ”
“You’re scared. I get it.”
Rainbow sighed. “I guess I gotta talk to Pinkie now, huh?”
Both of her friends nodded in response.
“Right, so I … I’ll be going now.” She turned to leave when Twilight called out from behind.
“It’ll be okay. She really does care about you.”
Rainbow paused before dashing forward. “I know,” she murmured, her voice too soft to be heard over the rush of the wind. “I know.”
Touching down in front of Sugarcube Corner, Rainbow stepped forward, pushing the door open. A light chime of a bell announced her arrival. “One moment!” a stallion’s voice called out. Stepping out of a back room, a lanky orange earth pony walked to the counter, preoccupied with a cake he was balancing on his back. “Welcome to Sugarcube Corner, what can I …”
His stopped short of the counter when he saw who had come in. “Oh, it’s you,” he growled, his brow furrowing in annoyance. “What do you want?”
Rainbow found herself recoiling at his words. “I-I came to speak to Pi–”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said, sliding the cake onto the counter. “I think you've said quite enough to her.”
“I … look, Mr. Cake, sir, I have to see her, please.”
“Give me one good reason I should let you see Pinkie!” he yelled, stomping his hoof. “Give me one, just one reason why I should let you speak to Pinkie after the way you treated her! She’s been locked in her room since you left, bawling her eyes out and refusing to see anypony. All because of you.” He scoffed. “And I thought you two were friends.”
“We were—are friends,” Rainbow Dash said, “and that is why I need to speak to her. I … I need to set everything right.”
He stood there, eyeing her. What felt like hours passed before he responded. “Fine, go up to her room. That way she can decide if she wants to speak to you herself.”
Rainbow avoided his stare, looking to the floor at her forehooves. “You can hate me all you want. Just know that I hate myself more than you ever could.”
Her hooves brushed the landing, kissing the worn floor before settling. Turning her head, Rainbow looked around the hallway. The last time she was up here alone was the day of Pinkie’s birthday. She could still see the way Pinkie’s hair had hung limp and straight. That image served as a constant reminder that Pinkie might not always the happy mare she pretended to be.
That was something else Rainbow had chosen to forget. A rush of guilt washed over her. Gee, what a good friend I am for ignoring her friend’s pain.
Treading lightly, she walked closer to Pinkie’s door. As she neared she could hear a soft voice coming from inside.
“I screwed up. Bad. Like, the worst screwup in all of Equestria. And I don’t know if I can fix it. I want to, but I have no clue how to. I mean, how would it look if I came crawling back to her now, after the way I acted? She'll hate me no matter what I do. I’m just a bad friend. Just a bad friend that deserves to be alone.”
Rainbow stopped in front of the door, pressing her ear against it. She felt like something was piercing her chest, and her breathing became almost nonexistent.
“And it’s all because I couldn't keep my feelings in check. I bet Rainow hates me. Do you hate me, Gummy?”
Unable to bear what was being said on the other side, Rainbow knocked. Almost immediately, Pinkie called out, “Go away.”
“Pinkie, it’s me. We need to talk.”
There was a pause. “G-go away,” she said again.
“Please, I … it’s important, Pinkie,” Rainbow pleaded, the pain in her chest growing.
“I … I don't care. Go away.”
“No!” Rainbow yelled, a fear edging into her voice. “I want to say something to you, and I won't go away. I’m sick and tired of just going away when a friend needs me. I screwed up enough, and I don’t wanna lose you because of a mistake.”
There was a long silence, almost to the point where Rainbow was going to speak up again, before Pinkie responded. “You've never ‘just gone away,’ Rainbow. That’s what I like about you.”
“Yes I have. How the hay do you think I got so fast? I've grown up running away from bullies, away from anypony that tried to help, away from every little thing that scared me.” Rainbow let out a sigh. “And I ran away from you.”
There was a click, and the door slid open a bit.
Pushing the door open further, Rainbow stepped into Pinkie’s room. On the bed sat Pinkie, hugging her pet baby alligator, Gummy. Her hair was straight, like on her birthday. “What do you want?” she asked, not out of irritation, but rather a need to know.
“I … I wanted to say sorry for running out on you and–”
“No, it’s my fault. I should've realized you didn't like me that way.” The way she hung her head as she said it hurt to watch.
“Pinkie, no, when you kissed me, I ran because I was afraid that …” Rainbow’s voice died away as she searched for the right words.
“Because you didn't like me like that, I know.”
“No!” Rainbow yelled, taking a step forward. “No, Pinkie, I … I think I do like you. It’s just that I was afraid that you’d … that you'll get tired of me and leave.”
Pinkie lifted her head, confusion flashing across her face. “Why would I ever get tired of you?”
“Because that's what always happens. A mare tells me she’s into me, we date, and then she leaves. And no matter how much I try, it always hurts.” Rainbow hung her head as she moved closer to the bed. “Everytime I let anypony close like that, they get bored of me.” Her legs began to shake, threatening to give out beneath her. “You mean too much to me, Pinkie. I'm so, so scared that I'll lose you like I've lost everypony else.”
She crumbled before Pinkie’s bed, tears beginning to stream down her face as she squeezed her eyes shut to stop the flow. She felt hooves wrap around her, pulling her into a hug. She started to sob harder, throwing her forelegs around Pinkie’s neck.
“It'll be okay, Rainbow.” Pinkie squeezed Rainbow tighter. “I promise I won't just leave you.”
“How can you promise that? How can I believe that you won't just leave me like everypony else?”
“Because I love you,” Pinkie said, her voice soft. “I have for a long time, and it only gets stronger the longer I know you.”
“You’re not the first to say that.”
“But I will be the last.”
Rainbow felt Pinkie’s hooves pull away from her, the gentle warmth fading away. Then she felt Pinkie’s lips on hers, disappearing just as soon as they appeared. “Rainbow, look at me.”
Rainbow Dash did and was met by Pinkie’s terrified eyes. “Rainbow, do you really like me?”
It was all she could do to give a small nod.
“And do you want to, I don't know, date me, or something?”
Rainbow let out a small laugh, raising a hoof to wipe her eyes. “Yeah, I really do.”
Pinkie smiled. “Good.”
“Um, can I ask a question?”
“Yes, what?”
Rainbow cleared her throat and scratched the back of her head. “How can your hair go flat like that when you're upset?”
Pinkie sat back, a look of surprise crossing over her face. “Honestly, I have no idea.”
Rainbow laughed again before leaning forward and kissing Pinkie’s cheek. “You are so random, Pinkie.”
Pinkie smiled, her hair slowly curling up. “So you actually do want to be my marefriend?” She leaped up, almost knocking Rainbow over before pulling her up as well. “So, marefriend, what do you wanna do now?”
Rainbow flapped her wings, a little disoriented from the sudden loss of the floor beneath her. “I guess talk, straighten stuff out between us. We kinda had a bumpy start to all this.”
Pinkie’s grin lessened. “Yeah, but you still wanna be my marefriend right?”
“Yeah, I do, but…” Rainbow Dash trailed off, looking away, “I’m still scared that you'll leave when you get tired of me.”
“Rainbow, follow me,” Pinkie said, walking toward the window. Nudging the panel open, she sat down. “Tell me what you see.”
Sitting down next to the pink mare, Rainbow looked outside. “Um, Ponyville.”
“No, beyond that. Look at the sky.”
She did, seeing a few clouds and the setting sun. “I see the sun.”
Pinkie nodded. “Exactly, and once the sun sets, the moon will rise. Sometimes the moon isn't completely full, and it waxes and wanes, dims and brightens. But it is always there.” She turned toward Rainbow and smiled. “In that way, it’s just like my love for you.”
Rainbow shifted her weight uncomfortably. “Uh, could you stop using the word ‘love’? It’s still kinda early for that.”
“Okay, sure.”
“Are you okay, Pinkie?”
She frowned, giving Rainbow a confused look. “Yeah, I'm fine, why?”
“You're acting all weirdly calm.”
She smiled, sighing in content. “Yeah, guess I am.”
Moving closer to Rainbow, Pinkie rested her head on her marefriend’s shoulder. “I guess I am.”
~( end )~
Author's Note
Welp, It's been edited. How could you all let me keep this story like this? It was crap!
