Philomena's Quest

by pepdog1

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Philomena, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 1518

Philomena goes on a quest to prove to Celestia that she isn't just for show.

Philomena gets very angry when Celestia enters her into a pet beauty competition, so she goes on a quest to prove to Celestia that she isn't just for show.
Unfortunately, things don't go to plan...

Published 2013-12-21 13:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-21 13:10:03 UTC

Philomena, Photos and Phails

Philomena flew alongside her master, the Princess of the sun, Celestia, down the path inside the Royal Canterlot Gardens.

Celestia was taking Philomena somewhere special, although she didn't tell the red and amber phoenix where.

The two majestic creatures soon stopped at a colourfully decorated gate to the left of the sandy coloured gravel path. As Philomena peeked inside she soon found out where her master had taken her.

And became furious.

She could have taken me anywhere. The phoenix thought to herself, lowering her head in desperation as she slowly descended onto her master's back. She could have taken me shopping, to the sculpture gardens, to the beach, or even to the zoo to visit my relatives, but NO! Instead, she takes me to a PET BEAUTY COMPETITION!!! Of all things, why did she have to choose this!?!

Celestia walked calmly through the crowds of ponies with Philomena on her back. They soon came to the judges tent.

"How may I help you, your majesty?" Asked a very snob looking unicorn with her hair piled about a foot high. Philomena rolled her eyes. She knew that the only reason Celestia was being treated this nicely was because she is a princess. If she was just a normal commoner pony then she would probably have to come by appointment.

"I would like to enter Philomena into the competition." The princess told the unicorn.

Philomena's eyes went wide as she listened to the unicorn tell the princess about the rules. "NO! NOT ME! WAIT! NO!"
She squawked. Literally. All Celestia heard was: "SQUAWK! SQUAW SQUAWK! SQUAW! SQUAWK!"

Celestia giggled at what she thought was Philomena cheering. "She's very excited." She told the unicorn.

Suddenly, Philomena was pulled off of Celestia's back with the snobby unicorn's orange tinted magic and shoved onto a purple salon chair inside a small tent. A bunch of other snobby unicorns picked out her feathers, applied makeup to her eyes and nail polish to her talons.

After they had finished, Philomena was levitated into yet another small tent. A male unicorn sat her down on a chair and took her picture, before returning her onto Celestia's back.

After wiping the make up off her face, Celestia took her phoenix into the photo tent and handed her a small card.

Philomena the Red Crested Phoenix, It said. Competitor in the "Best Pet In Show" Competition. Under the writing was a picture of her with a thick layer of bright purple over her eyes.

Philomena became outraged, the small card bursting into a pile of ashes beneath her feet. How dare she? She thought. She thinks I'm just for show, doesn't she? Well, I'll show her! I'll be more then her pretty show pet! I'm going to go find something special, to prove that I'm not just for looking at!

With a small squawk of a goodbye, Philomena launched her self high into the sky. She could hear her master calling to her from on the ground, but she didn't care. Just just kept flying higher and higher until the Royal Canterlot Gardens were just a dot in the large sweeping plains that were Equestria. Once far away from the hideous competition, Philomena started flying south, in the direction of the Ever Free forest.

Halfway there, Philomena started to get tired. She spotted a large lake and stopped next to it to have a rest and a drink. She was about to take a sip of the crystal clear water, when, quite suddenly, a giant fish jumped out of the water.

Philomena closed her eyes tightly in fright. When she opened them she was in a place that seemed to be a dark, red, squishy room, only slightly visible in the light of her flaming coat. She heard a crackling sound above her and looked up. Her fiery feathers were burning the top of the room, leaving a big,black mark.

Suddenly, she was catapulted out of the dark room and onto the hard ground. She looked towards were she had just flown out of and realised that she had been swallowed by the giant fish, but got spat out when she burned the roof of it's mouth.

"Um, I'm sorry!" She called after it as it dived back into the crystal clear water. After a while, she decided that it wasn't going to come back, and so continued on her journey.

"She did WHAT?!?" Shouted the princess of the night at her older sister, who was smiling sheepishly and was helpless against the accusing looks of the younger alicorn.

"She flew away." Celestia repeated, hoping that the next thing Luna did wasn't slap her in the face with the family photo book she had been reading before the news had been broken to her. She knew for a fact that Luna loved Philomena, and so this reaction made complete sense to her. Instead, what the princess of the night did next hurt her even more.

"YOU FOOL!!! How could you let her fly away!?! What in Equestria did you do to make her do that?!?" Luna shouted, using her Royal voice so that the whole castle could hear."Philomena is MY pet, and I did not give you permission to do ANYTHING with her!"

Celestia cringed at being screamed at, but answered anyway, knowing full well that this next statement would probably earn her a couple of slaps, more screaming, and the cold shoulder for weeks. "I took Philomena to a pet beauty competition."

Luna stared at her older sister, with a disappointed look on her face and said, surprisingly calmly: "You took her to a pet beauty competition?"

Celestia looked at her sister, surprised at the reaction she got. "Well," She said sheepishly. "I thought it was a good idea at the time!"

"A good idea?!" The younger princess asked loudly. "A good idea?!? A GOOD IDEA?!?! What is going on in that messed up, empty head of yours?!? OF COURSE IT WASN'T A GOOD IDEA!!! Sending the most grubby phoenix ever to a beauty competition?!? SHE EATS HER OWN FEATHERS FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!!" She shouted, grabbing the photo book and slapping her sister in the face.

There's the reaction I was expecting. Celestia thought to herself. "I'll send a search party." She said, bowing to the princess of the night and backing out of the room, feeling completely embarrassed and ashamed that she was scolded by her younger sister. She turned around to see a group of her guards staring at her, mouths wide open in shock. "You heard her!" Shouted Celestia. "GO FIND PHILOMENA!!!"

Philomena had finally made it to the Ever Free forest, the princesses's old castle to be precise. Of course, she didn't recognise it after all the plants that had covered it, and all the years she had spent in Canterlot. She only had one thing on her mind: Old, abandoned castle = Treasure of the rare and magical sort.

As she flew gracefully inside, she noticed two tapestries hanging from the ceiling above the two thrones. One was of Celestia, and the other of Luna.

Luna...

Suddenly, Philomena knew where the treasure was.

The royal guards where ready for there very important (And slightly dumb) rescue mission. Celestia stood in front of the group of Pegasuses and shouted, "Go! Find Philomena, and don't come back until you find her!"

The guards didn't move.

"Why aren't you going?" The princess asked, confused and still embarrassed about what happened.

One of the guards lifted his hoof and pointed to the sky. There, in the sky, was the red and amber phoenix, holding something between the talons on her left foot.

Celestia rushed inside to tell Luna. The princess of the night was moping about in her chair. "What now?" She asked as soon as she saw the white alicorn burst through the double doors.

"Sister, Philomena has returned!"

Luna sat up quickly, teleporting herself outside, closely followed by her older sister.

Sure enough, Philomena was perched on the top of a pole in front of the main doors of the castle.

"Philomena!" Celestia shouted to the phoenix. "Why did you fly away?!?"

The phoenix squawked at the princess of the sun, and flew down to land on Luna's head, flying over Celestia and dropping her a note as she did so.

Dear Princess Celestia, It said on it in fancy writing. I flew away to the Ever Free forest to find a special something to prove to you that I am not just for show. But, when I found our old castle, I soon realised what the true treasure was. Family. Well, Luna anyways.

From, your ex-pet, Philomena.

Author's Note

Yes, Philomena is Luna's pet in this universe. Celestia just took ownership of her while Luna was trapped in the moon, but, since this is set after the season 1 finale, Luna has regained ownership of her pet. In "A Bird in the Hoof" Luna hasn't yet seen Philomena, and so hasn't regained ownership. Just some backstory for this particular story, not canon.