Pretty in Pink

Hey again. I’ve been thinking lately on what you exactly mean to me. Sure Twilight said it would be good to log my experiences in Equestria but perhaps you would like to know more about my friends? The way I think it, you’re kinda like my friend too right? Sure you can't talk but you listen to how my day went and never judge me. Maybe even one day when I’m old and grey you would like to tell me how crazy I was when we were younger?

I know it sounds kinda sappy but honestly I don't think you can fully appreciate my friends unless I tell you about them. They’re a large part of my life. So, how about we start with my bro. Rainbow Dash.

I had already been in Equestria for a few weeks now but everyone still ignored me out of fear.

So rather than walk around town and part the sea of ponies.

I decided to sit alone at the lake.

I looked to the lone lake feeling rather blue today. I been in Equestria for a few weeks now and still these ponies haven't warmed up to me yet. Was I doing something wrong? I know the fact I ate meat was rather off putting to them. So that didn't really help my case. I picked up a few local rocks and just toss them into the lake. Letting out a sigh I just sit and think of what to do with my new life. Slowly I could feel my eyes start to well up.

Honestly I don't know why I started to cry as I looked to the water. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't have a job, ponies were afraid of me or maybe I just didn't have anyone to talk to about this. Pinkie has been a great pony at cheering me up and trying her best to get the others to ease up around me but I can't really talk to Pinkie about serious stuff. Mostly because I don't want to sour her mood.

Those thoughts are trivial though. All I know is that I was looking to this lake with tears running down my face for more reasons than I could ever comprehend. Being literally thrown into a world where you don't belong. It’s a lot to take in to be honest.

“Hey Anon!” I hear someone call from behind. “What are yo-”

I look up and see Rainbow is standing to the side of me now. I quickly rub my face clear as to not let her worry.

“H-hey Rainbow Dash.” I say trying to clear my throat.

“Anon, are you alright?” She asks concerned.

I look to her with a fake smile. “Never better Rainbow Dash.”

Thats gets me a frown in return. “No you’re not. I seen you crying.”

“I wasn't crying.” I try to explain. “Just some dirt in my eyes is all.”

That look of concern comes back as she takes a seat next to me.

“Listen. You know you can talk to me or my friends if you have problems. Right?”

I nod my head a little. “Yeah I know.”

“So?” She tries to press.

“So what?” I ask feeling slightly irritated.

“What's the problem?”

I let out a frustrated sigh.

“The problem? Well, where do you want me to start?” I say hotly.

She seems to ignore it as she says. “Wherever you think is right.”

“Honestly I don't even know. Being stuck in this ponyland. Having everyone afraid of me. Not having a job. Being absolutely...” I feel my voice fall at the last word.. “alone.”

“You’re not alone Anon. You got me and my friends.”

I shake my head. “Not like that Rainbow. I-I’m the only species here. Could you ever understand what it would feel like to be the only one of your kind in a place that doesn't even feel like home.” I dig my fingers into the grass and tear some out as I just look at it. “This.” I show her my hand full of grass. “This isn't home.”

“The princess’ are trying Anon.” Rainbow tries to cheer me up. “Give it a few more days and I guarantee you that you will be back home.”

I look over just in time to see her face fall to a more melancholy look as that left her mouth. She just turned her gaze to the lake as she sat next to me.

“You alright?” I return the favor.

“I-It just hit me is all. You will be leaving and..” She looks over to me. “I know you feel alone, but, I would miss you if you left. You’re my friend and there’s nothing that can change that.”

I couldn't help but feel my heart warm at the honesty in her words. I let out a sigh.

“I would miss you too.” I admit as we both look at the lake.

I honestly felt a lot better after having said those things to Rainbow. It wasn't much but even that little bit felt a great deal lighter on my shoulders.

“Hey Rainbow.” I catch her attention. “Maybe we can do this again sometime?”

She raises a brow at me. “What do you mean?”

“You know, just talk about stuff. I know it sounds a little weird but..” I just look at her again. “I can't say this stuff to the other ponies. I don't want to depress Pinkie. Applejack is always busy. Rarity is in the same boat. Fluttershy is still afraid of me. You’re kinda the only pony I think I could talk to about some hard stuff.”

“What about Twilight?”

I chuckle a little. “She would have a hard time not cataloging my emotions or something.” I let out a sigh. “I know she means well.”

Rainbow gave me a small chuckle. “Yeah, she gets like that but she also knows when to be serious.”

I then look to Rainbow. “It’s not just that. I don't know.. Don't you ever get the feeling you can't talk to your friends about stuff?”

She looks over to me with some surprise as she then suppresses it and gives a nod.

“Yeah.” She admits.

“Well, maybe we can talk to each other about stuff. Not have to worry the others and yet keep it between us.”

She rubs her chin with her hoof in thought.

“Well, it’s a pretty good idea.” She admits after some thought. “How do I know you won't go blabbing our secrets?” She questions.

“Pinkie promise?”

She nods. “Pinkie promise.”

I haven't been here long but I easily sensed that this “Pinkie promise” was a rather big deal to these ponies. So it was with that we both did the weird like motions and agree’d we wouldn't talk to others about what we have said together in confidence.

“So, where do we start?” I ask.

“How about we just enjoy the sunset?” She asks as she looks over the lake. “I love to watch it to be honest.”

“Is that why you’re here?” I ask as I look over the lake as the sun made it slow descent.

She nods. “Yeah, but Twilight told me you didn't seem so good today and I wanted to cheer my favorite monkey up.” She quips with a grin.

“This coming from Skittles?” I say with a grin as well.

“Skittles?” She repeats the name confused. “What does that mean?”

I just grin at her more. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

I see her get up and take a attack stance.

“Tell me!”

“Never!”

With that does she lunge at me and tackle me to the ground. I quickly wrap my arms around her and throw her off as we both stare each other down. Soon though our standoff ends with us both laughing out loud.

“You should’ve seen your face!” She says.

“My face?! What about yours when I wrapped my arms around you? You looked like a deer in the headlights!” I say between chuckles.

Soon our laughter died down as we both returned to looking at the sun.

“Seriously though, that better not be an insult.” She says while the sun hits it's twilight phase.

I shake my head never looking away from the horizon. “Nah, their sweet.” I then look at her. “Just like you.”

I couldn't help but smile as I wrote that memory down. Rainbow and I got closer the more we talked to each other about things. For the first time in a long while I actually felt that I had a small piece of my life back. Rainbow was more than just my friend at this point, she was starting to become family. Though, I will admit.. There was this one time that we agreed to never speak of again. It was tied to so many truths and a lot of embarrassment.

This was the time that I tried to ask Rainbow Dash out on a date and she told me she was gay.. Man, talk about awkward.

“It was pretty sweet that Twilight could do this.”

I admit to Rainbow as I walk around her house.

“Yeah! I mean now you can see how awesome my home is!” She says from inside of her bedroom.

“So what’re we going to do?” I ask feeling slightly nervous.

There was a reason I was feeling very nervous right now. Rainbow and I have been together a lot lately. For the past few weeks we have been spending a lot of time together. I don't know why but I feel like I want to try and see if she would want to date or something. I mean I never seen anypony like that before but, well, Rainbow and I were friends. Does it even count as the same thing?

Honestly all these emotions I’m feeling are very confusing. I don't know if I’m just crazy or what but something in the back of my head keeps screaming that this is a bad idea. I write it off as just some nervousness. I mean, who wouldn't be nervous? Everyone is nervous the first time they ask someone out. It was going to be simple though. Just, ask her out. We are close, talk about some heavy stuff. There is no need to hide my feelings from her.

“Hey, you doing alright Anon?”

I shake my head from the haze of thought as I look to see Rainbow flying in front of my face. Her look of concern was back. I can't help but quickly look away from her eyes. Dammit Anon, just.. do it!

“T-There was-s something I want-ted to talk to you a-about.” I stutter nervously.

She gets serious as she points to one of her couches.

“Please, sit.” She says..

I nod as I take my seat, her joining next to me.

“Whatever it is, it must be big.” She says looking worried now.

I was trembling slightly. So many thoughts running through my mind. J-Just do it! I steel myself over as I quickly make my move. I lean over to Rainbow and plant a simple kiss on her lips. I see her eyes go wide as she quickly pulls her face away.

“A-Anon! W-wha?”

She wasn't sure what to say and I wasn't sure how to gauge her reaction. Was she mad? Was I too quick or did she not like me too? I couldn't tear my eyes away from her as I try to talk.

“I-I..um.. I like you a-and I thought maybe we could..” I gulp. “Go out?”

Her eyes seem to go unfocused for a moment as she tries to piece together everything I just said.

“You’re serious?” She asks not showing much emotion other than shock.

I give a slight nod. “I-I think.. I mean.. Maybe?”

I felt myself breaking down slowly at her continued shock.

“D-dude.. I-.. Theres something I.. I should tell you.” She takes a few breaths. “T-this is serious though Anon.. You can't tell a soul this.”

The look she gave me was one of desperation. I could feel the weight of her words as she looked at me. I give her a nod to continue.

“Anon.. I-I like mares.” She admits.

In that second I felt my skin go numb. I-I can't believe this.. How did I not see it before? That way she looked at other mares. How she talked about the figures of other mares. I thought she was just trying to make me feel weird but now.. Now I realise she wasn't kidding.

I put a hand to my mouth. “I-I think I need some air.”

I quickly get up and walk out of her home. I just sat there on the edge of the clouds as I try to keep my stomach from spilling. It wasn't the fact she was gay that made me sick.. No, it was that I just asked someone gay out and got shut down for it. I couldn't blame her for that. Who could? But I can't stop the sickness with logic.

“Anon..” I don't turn around as the sound of someone approaching me becomes louder. “Anon, please say something.”

I finally remove my hand from my mouth having settled my stomach.

“I can't believe I was so stupid.” I say under my breath. I start to chuckle sadly. “It was right there in my face all along and I.. I didn't notice.”

“Anon, it's alright..”

She tries to speak softly but I was stuck in my own world.

“I can't believe I just did this.. ” I felt the memories flash back. “Stupid!”

“Just come inside and we can talk about this.” Rainbow urges.

“Why didn't I see it?” I mumble. “Was I just hoping it wasn't true?” I let out a sigh. “Why can't I just go back..”

I slowly take a seat on the edge of the cloud as I put my face into my hands. Trying my best to calm down.

“Hey.” I feel Rainbows wing wrap around me. “W-Were still friends, right?” She asks nervously. “Y-You don't think i'm a.. freak.” I hear her voice fall at that.

I remove my hands from my face as I look over to see Rainbow looking off into the distance.

“Freak? What do you mean?” I ask confused.

She lets out another sigh as she scoots closer to me.

“I-.. I once told my parents that.. That I was.. well.. You know.” I give a nod. “They didn't like that.. Told me I was a freak and didn't care about pony kind.” I then see her shift to anger. “How is it my fault that we don't have enough stallions! How is it my fault that I like mares!” She makes sure to reel in her voice at the last word.

She then leans her head against my shoulder. “Y-You don't hate me because of that.. Do you?”

I felt my shoulder slump at that.

“How could I ever hate you?” I ask. “You’re..You’re” I then suddenly felt something click in my head.

“Anon. What's wrong?” she asks concerned.

I start to giggle, then it built from that to full blown laughter. I couldn't help myself now as I just fell on my back and started to laugh at the sky.

“What is so funny?” Rainbow asks concerned.

I just wrap my arms around her and pulled her to my chest as I smiled at her.

“I’m such an idiot Dash.” I admit.

“Idiot about what?” She asks confused.

“I was thinking my feelings were romantic..” I started to chuckle.

“T-they weren't?”

I nod. “I was confused about my feelings.. Because.. Rainbow.. You’re not my friend.” I see her fur stand on end but before she could speak I continued. “You’re family.. Hell, you’re more than family to me. I-I just didn't realise it till now.” I admit with some redness in my cheeks.

“Y-You really mean that?” She looks down to me with shock.

I nod. “Yeah, you’re more than my friend Dash. You’re my bro and bro’s stick together. Even if one bro accidently asks the other out because he was confused.” I quickly tack on the last bit quickly.

I see her face start to smile as everything comes together. “Oh my gosh.” She says as she busts up laughing. Her rolling off my chest as she too falls to her back laughing it up. “I-I can't believe you asked me out!”

I wave her off. “Yeah yeah.. Honest mistake. Emotions are like that.”

She quickly gets up and shakes her ass in my face.

“Yeah, I bet you wanted to get this hot piece of flank! But sorry buddy, your hands don't get to touch.”

She says looking away with her head held up. I grin madly as I quickly slap her ass, hard. She jumps up with a yelp and spin around on a dime.

“What was that about not putting my hands on your ass?” I say with a shit eating grin.

“Thats it!”

She throws herself on top of me as we try to wrestle each other into submission. All the while us both laughing it up with smiles on our faces.

I can't help but shake my head with a grin at that memory. Even now I can't help but feel the embarrassment from that day. But to be honest. That revelation about Rainbow actually changed my entire outlook on life after that day. I knew I had her and she would be loyal till the end and that was something I took to heart. Rainbow agreed to not speak of my accidental feelings for her and I agreed to not tell anyone about her preferences for mares. Doing another Pinkie promise so we were solid.

I hear someone knock on the door to my home.

“Hey Anon, you going to hurry up or what!” I could easily hear Rainbow yell.

“Hold your horses!” I call back, knowing she hates that saying.

“Ugh!” I hear her yell as she waits impatiently.

I look back to my journal. With a smile I write one last thing.

Never change Rainbow.