She Slimed Me

By the time Snails had caught up with Pirouette, she had already woven her way through the loose crowd gathered around to the stage and up to the sign-up desk. She somehow could slide through their bodies like a hot knife through butter, looking unreal if Snails had paid attention. That he rarely did. “Pirouette!” he called over the small throng. “Wait up, would ya?”

Despite the din of the ponies around him all fighting a subtle battle to be heard, the fleeting giggle of Pirouette still wafted its way over the noise and over to Snails. Gritting his teeth, he ducked his head and blundered through the last few ponies separating him from his quarry. He looked to the left and right, spotting mares with their special stallions all around him as they guzzled party punch and played with spooky decorations. The jealousy ate at him more than it should.

"Hey— hey— seriously," he panted out, sucking in a fresh gulp of air, "didn't... you hear me call to wait up?"

Without breaking her gaze still aimed at the desk before the two young ponies, throngs of mares and stallions still mulling about around them and enjoying the scene, Pirouette calmly replied, "must not have. Sorry."

"How did you even get through the crowd so fast, anyway? You can't just... just..."

She didn't even bother to reply this time, tossing him nothing more than a simple shrug in reply. He noticed her magically lifting over a pen to write at the bottom of the long list before them. Snails would have started to argue, but some inner voice sounding like the authoritative bark of reason— something he’d thankfully started to hear more and more at the start of puberty— cut him off.

Listen, you silly colt! Are you going to blow the first real chance in your life to get with a flesh-and-blood mare, someone honestly interested in you for whatever reason? Are you going to make mountains of molehills here? Let her do what she wants. Let her be dominant. Get her loose and confident, first, and then she’d feel up for some fun. In January, you vowed to make this the first year of being kissed, right? You promised yourself! Snails blinked before taking a deep breath, stepping over directly behind Pirouette. “I promised,” he whispered.

She perked up her ears as she turned around, letting Snails see more of her amazingly cute face with her dark glasses slid a bit down. Her eyes seemed to hold an air of mystery to them, with something like red mascara all around them. Though, her words snapped him back to full attention of his surroundings.

“All signed up now!” Pirouette exclaimed, leading Snails away from the mass of horses to the mostly-empty food court besides the main carnival dance floor. “Let’s practice for when the time comes!”

“Practice?” Snails repeated, getting a sinking feeling at the sound of that. The fake-eyeball laden soup at the cart to his right didn’t help his feelings either.

Later...

"Fillies and gentlecolts!" Mayor Mare’s voice boomed over the crowd, silencing the torrent of squabbling by various partygoers at once and shifting their attention to the main stage erected in the middle of the town square. Decked in what had to be pounds of neon makeup and a lopsided clown wig, she beamed a confident smile from behind her podium. "On behalf of all the contestants assembled tonight, I would like to welcome you to this year's official Costume Contest! It shall now begin!"

Snails listened a bit, but, well, he couldn’t help but gaze off at Snips and Applebloom. Snips would have made a great ‘Igor’, a mad scientist lackey with the leather apron coated in fake guts and pretend yellow bulging eyes with matching warts, to Snail’s crazed doctor. Yet Snips indeed looked even better alongside Applebloom, Snails’ eyes going along from her grey painted fur to the bolts on her neck. Darn it! She’s quite a monster! Female monster, uhh... a monstress? Snails felt so hurt that he could cry, but, thankfully, Mayor Mare letting out a sudden yelp snapped his attention away.

As her echo faded into the rafters and houses beyond, Mayor Mare dove to the side of the stage, returning a moment later with a thick braid of rope between her teeth to keep the curtains from sliding open prematurely. In the moment of time between the next segment of her speech, she took the time to congratulate herself on how well the night had turned out up until then. No evil villains, no mass panic, and even no eternal Moon goddesses who attempted to cancel the entire holiday had come up. Even her jokes pre-ceremony seemed to land spot-on, which she murmured surprise for under her breath. Even if it looked little bit too perfect, she loved every second of it.

“First, you all will dance yourself silly. And then, you all will line yourselves up at the edge of the stage here. There shall be four categories that our judges and I shall judge you as— ‘Best Couple’, ‘Cutest Couple’, ‘Best Single Costume’”, and “Scariest Single Costume’,” the mare went on, motioning a hoof to the team of Big Mac (done wonderfully as a skeleton monster with glowing white make-up), Fluttershy (as some kind of flower-goddess or something, doused with petals), and Mister Cake (whose bright yellow coat flattered the duck’s bill on his muzzle perfectly).

Behind the curtain, Snails fidgeted nervously with every word the Mayor spoke, every second just bringing him one second closer to the start of the contest. The rest of the contestants didn’t seem phased by the prospect of prancing about on stage in front of the entire town at all, smiling faces on colorfully-dressed ponies chatted away around Snails’ head. Look at them as they spin around to show off to their friends.

He eyed the ponies closest to him, head bouncing about as he examined the loopy white tails around Sweetie’s mummy outfit as well as Scootaloo’s close fitting nurse cap and matching gown. Her of all ponies being a nurse? Where would she have gotten that idea? They all look so great and I just—

"Ow— Snails, Snails!" Pirouette, her eyes all but glowing with an unearthly red tint, hissed into the colt’s ear. "Watch where you step, you oaf! You're going to wreck your costume!"

"Uh— yeah, sorry." Knocked off-balance by Pirouette's last shove, Snails teetered dumbly on his hooves for a moment, falling backwards onto the colt next to him. The line of costume-clad ponies teetered, one after the other, like dominoes in a foal’s playset, before Cheerilee somehow popped up to straighten them.

The Mayor did her best to ignore the mild din coming from around by the curtains and press on with the event. “Now, let’s get this show on the road, shall we? First off, we have the dance and posing competition, judged by myself and our two lovely judges. Keep in mind that each and every winner gets a one day supply of—” She leaned over and bobbed her back hooves for emphasis. “Candy!”

The crowd leaned in, uttering a collective ‘oooh’. Snails felt a shuffling behind him, and he saw what seemed like red flashes going off behind Pirouette's glasses. She muttered something about the sheer amount of candy, clearly a bit taken back.

“Now,” the Mayor continued, “why don’t we bring out our little competitors?” The roar from the crowd spurred her to the side of the stage, where she yanked another chord of rope. The massive curtains parted at the middle, revealing the ill-prepared Snails and the rest of his friends and classmates to the crowd. A chorus of ‘ooh’s’ and ‘aah’s’ followed as the fillies and colts beamed under the spotlight of the town— all, of course, except for one particular couple by the corner who seemed able to feel every set of eyes looking them over.

Mercifully, the mayor cut in before one of them could freak out. “Alright then!” The mayor stepped between the children and their adoring crowd. “That’s enough of that. Let’s get to dancing!”

Snails stiffened, the idea of impending public humiliation turning his muscles to cardboard. In a choked back whimper he muttered, “Oh. look at that. It’s time to go on. You don’t think they’ll laugh at us, will they? I think they’re going to laugh at us. I don’t want them to laugh at us.”

Pirouette, on the other hoof, just blinked. “Alright, so it’s time to make some magic,” she commented, hovering her hooves just besides Snails’ fur before making a scrunchy face. She closed her eyes and then touched him on his sides.

Gosh, I wish she’d wear a sweater or something! Snails shivered a bit, one part genuine coldness and three parts solid nervousness, before moving about side to side. He looked out and took in a bit of the scene. The other ponies added on some fancier elements to their dances, from a quick twist here to a sudden dive there to a slow wiggle.

“One second,” Pirouette murmured, leaning up to Snail’s side closely. He gulped. “So, no duh, we both know that this is also rigged.”

“What?” Snails interjected, a bit too loud. His companion pulled him even closer as the music around them went from slow piano and cello playing to an upbeat, almost cool jazz like bounce with horns and the whole shebang. “Really? Wouldn’t that make the competition unfair for certain ponies?”

“Ugh, you,” Pirouette began, scrunching her face. Snails thought that she was going to make some remark like ‘were you dropped on your head as a foal or something’, something that he’d heard his whole sad life from girls. But, instead, she just led him on and danced at an even faster pace, tossing him around suddenly.

“Eeep!” Snails burst out.

“Look,” she went on, bringing him around in a pretty-looking loop-de-loop around the dance floor, “the crowd cares about who has the best looking costume, and the judges will put a lot of time on that but actually will just get swayed by peer pressure.” She cast an eye far over to Big Mac on the judges’ table. “The big one can’t help but vote for his younger sister, and Mister Cake’s spent too much time with her on all those apple-related specials at this place.”

“Oh!” Snails’ brain tried to get a handle on the fancy game-theorizing jiu-jitsu, but he couldn’t, his face looking flush and blank. “So, we gotta rig the rigged game, basically?”

“Yes, we keep in mind that everypony else is going for that award, and the competition will be fierce. Ponies will make up fancy-pants moves. So, we should play it smart— aim for ‘cutest couple’ instead,” she quietly remarked, posing herself in an adorable way at the edge of the stage besides the audience. A few happy mares clapped, others just gazed at her. Pirouette turned over and breathed an ice cold breath on Snails neck as she went on. “But don’t do anything stupid. We can’t fail with all that candy at stake.”

Snails couldn’t register a single word Pirouette said. Instead focusing with all his might on her nearest hoof, still defying conventional physics and flowing like a waterfall of smoke over the floor, the colt felt overwhelmed by her beauty as she mugged for the crowd. Finally, her words from earlier at the strength tester game came flooding back to him— though also along with several other baser hormones.

Use the rigged nature of the game to your advantage, as much as you can. A moment’s hesitation stayed Snails’ hoof awkwardly in mid-air. She had cutely posed by herself too much, and he knew that he had to join her in a deeply close, fur-to-fur embrace to make it all look even prettier. The thought of physical contact with the mystifying Pirouette won him over in another instant, and he reached out and grabbed her hoof— thrusting her upon him.

Pirouette’s eyes almost bugged out of her head, all but exploding into an off-shade of red. Glaring at Snails in a way just horrifying enough to keep the whimper welling up in his throat contained, she hissed, “What are you doing?”

"Y-you told me to use the rigged nature of the game to my advantage,” Snails recanted, letting go immediately, “t-that's just what I'm doing."

"I'm afraid I don't quite follow," Pirouette growled., leading him over to the back right of the stage.

"J-just getting more into it! I mean, you're the cutest thing I've ever seen, so we're guaranteed to win just with that,” Snails trailed off, biting his lip and praying to the highest heavens of Equestria that he wouldn't wind up going down in the record books as the colt who got slapped on-stage in front of half of Ponyville. Again, so sensitive at being touched! “I think—”

To his absolute surprise, he felt the electric charge gripping his hoof intensify as she thrust her body back onto his side. His eyes grew wide. His breathing also grew deep and strong.

"Alright," he heard Pirouette murmur darkly, "I'll play along for the candy. But if you do that again without at least warning me, I'll slurp your soul out of your eye sockets like spaghetti."

"Well, somepony sure is in the ‘Nightmare Night’ spirit,” he joked awkwardly, moving them over alongside the right half of the stage around the various tall stallions.

"You have no idea,” she coyly responded, and they both looked out at the smiling faces in the audience besides them.

Later...

“Alrightee then!” Mayor Mare waltzed back onto the stage, a plasticine grin plastered onto her face. “We’ve seen all the lovely couples up here on-stage, and now it’s time to choose the winners!”

Snails stomped the stage floor, flaring his nostrils with anxious breath. Pirouette took one look at his nervous demeanour and rolled her eyes. “Would you quit being such a nervous nelly already?” she inquired. “They’re about to announce the—”

“What do you mean someone put hot pepper sauce into the punch?” Mayor Mare squealed, glaring over to the tables by the far side of the stage. A raft of short fillies waved at her to stop and just look back at the audience. “I mean,” she stammered, seeing the eyes of the audience dilate as one in fear, “it’s time to announce the winners of the contest! Isn’t that lovely? And please don’t drink the punch.”

She didn’t even have to motion over to the judges before they stepped up behind her, all of them beaming. It went without saying that the voting was unanimous. The Mayor merely nodded before she struck a sort of ‘action pose’, hooves poised in multiple directions, and pointed out into the crowd.

“For ‘Best Couple’,” she declared, grinning, “Snips and his friend Applebloom!”

Snails looked on, grinding his teeth together as he watched his ex-best-friends prance upstage, hooves entwined, and snatch up their prizes. Applebloom beamed with happiness as Mister Cake placed a shiny tiara upon her head. That should be us! He snarled inwardly. Snips isn’t the best friend, he isn’t the best pony, and he isn’t the best couple!

“It takes two to be a couple, you know,” Pirouette added.

“Yeah, but—” Snails stiffened. “Wait, but I said that in my head—”

“And the next award, for ‘Lamest Couple’,” the Mayor interjected, “goes to Lyra and her Pie!”

The audience’s attention suddenly shifted over to a certain unicorn sitting idly on the edge of the stage, face engulfed in pieces of moist pumpkin as her hooves gripped a mostly empty pie tin. Lyra dropped it upon the floor as scattered laughter started to emanate out from the crowd. The Mayor slapped her forehead.

“Oh, for goodness’ sake, don’t tell me somepony took some kind of time-release marker to falsify the notecards,” the Mayor groused as she suddenly dropped a few bits of paper besides her from inside her outfit.

Snails spotted Diamond Tiara off to his far right, bawling in a highly suspicious way, and he shot her a very dirty look. I suppose I should be glad that, at least, she’s not putting me in her sights tonight. He glanced over to the left and noticed that Pirouette simply stared intently at the Mayor.

“All that foolishness aside,” the Mayor went on, looking at the nodding judges, “the real second prize is for ‘Scariest Costume’, which will go to—” She dramatically stood up on her hind hooves. “Bon Bon!”

Total silence covered the mass of ponies as the mare dressed in a grimy, vaguely medical-like get-up, looking something like a decades-long confined mental patient, calmly made her way over to the center of the stage. Snails placed a hoof to his cheek. “That’s not,” the lanky colt whispered over to Pirouette, “really that scary—”

Bon Bon abruptly threw herself down and sputtered against the stage, her mouth foaming profusely as her hooves slammed every which way. Many ponies in the audience gasped. Before they could even move, a sudden explosion of blood surged out of Bon Bon’s chest. Snails couldn’t keep from looking on as the mare cried out and a massive spattering burst out across her clothes.

Nopony managed to let out a single word as a blood-soaked creature with a face-like end covered in sharp teeth literally wormed out from the hole inside Bon Bon’s chest. Somehow managing to creep off of her and make its way onto the middle of the stage, it made a horrible, loud hiss. Another set of fangs somehow stuck out from the creature’s mouth as it leapt up into the air.

“Welcome to ‘Nightmare Night’, Ponyville!”

Snails shivered as he tried to stop from screaming, as Bon Bon somehow threw herself up into the air hugging the bloody monster. He blinked, and he suddenly noticed that the monster had removed its head, placing it onto the ground. He blinked again, and he noticed that the monster sans head looked a whole lot like… Angel Bunny.

“Holy cheese and crackers! That’s awesome!” Cheerilee yelled out from somewhere next to Snails. Applause sounded out as Bon Bon and her furry friend both took a bow. Snails could hardly think, let alone move.

“Who says ‘Holy cheese and crackers?’ What are we, in a Dora the Explorer cartoon or something?” Pirouette remarked, her cloak rubbing a bit against Snails’ back wonderfully as she turned around.

As the judges patted the back of the now tiara-crowned winners on stage, Snails began, “I wonder if this means…”

“Didn’t everypony find that fascinating?” The Mayor suddenly called out, smiling from cheek to cheek. She gestured over to the judges, all of which nodded, and she cleared her throat a bit. “Now, then, it’s time for an award that I know many of you parents out there are really looking forwards to seeing given out.”

“This could be our moment,” Pirouette murmured, still moving so close to Snails. Still not quite recovered from being scared out of his wits, the colt grunted and rubbed his hooves together.

“The award for ‘Cutest Couple’ goes to,” the Mayor declared, still keeping on that big smile, “Snails and his friend Pirouette!”

The two young ponies both leapt forwards. Snails’ exclamation of joy grew even louder and squeakier as he felt his new companion gripping his side for a moment in mid-air. His cheeks turned very rosy at the sensational tingles of what seemed like cold electricity rippled across his fur. Yet Pirouette popped over and jumped onto the stage a moment later, Snails gripping his cheeks to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming. I actually won something for once in my life!

“Yes, our judges thought that the couple seemed absolutely precious together,” the Mayor said, walking over to the two ponies as Big Mac and Mister Cake suddenly clung to Snails’ sides, “and it wasn’t just that their costumes worked so well as complements, with a mad scientist colt finding that only a vampire would satisfy his romantic longings. No, it’s also that we find this young visitor to Ponyville here, named Pirouette, a welcome addition to our city’s events!”

The crowd applauded on cue, and Snails could barely believe his amazing fortune. With mares and stallions lined up all around him giving him real affection for once, he let out a happy moan and hugged Big Mac besides him. Take that, Snips! I’ve grown up, and I can make my own fun without you! Snails cast an affectionate gaze at Pirouette besides him, who somehow looked prettier than ever.

“So,” Mister Cake declared, placing the winning tiaras on both Snails and his new friend, “Let’s talk a bit about our young visitor.” He slid another note-card along to the Mayor.

The Mayor began, “She comes from the city of Imadoofus, besides the large Yurahomo plain. Not too far from the metropolis of Iputoutesy, her home is governed by Mayor Touchie Cox. And—”

The Mayor froze as she came to a sudden realization. She instantly flipped her body around and glared at the corner of the audience where Diamond Tiara seemed to be laughing her flanks off, a large marker clearly visible in the filly’s hooves. Snails and Pirouette held their breaths.

"And now," the Mayor suddenly yelled, "the award of 'Most Likely to be Fed to the Timberwolves After the Ceremony' goes to Diamond Tiara!"

"Yay!" Diamond Tiara cried out. She began to gallop to the stage but froze a second later. "Wait..."

The Mayor made a gigantic smile.

"Those are fake Timberwolves, right?"

"Maybe."

Later...

“This is the greatest single moment of my entire life up to this very second, I swear!” Snails remarked as the Mayor led him and the other contest winners over to the far right side of the stage. His eyes grew wide as he came upon the gigantic barrel simply marked ‘Cutest’ being slid over to him by Applejack. Shaking his hoof with the sweet-hearted orange mare, made out nicely as a shorter but just as cute version of Cadance complete with fake horn made from a painted carrot, Snails let out a happy squeal as he slid the lid off of the barrel and gazed at the mass of shiny candies. I’m the winner! Me, of all ponies!

The audience cheered, with hoots and hollers coming from the wide variety of costumed ponies that almost overwhelmed Snails’ senses. The Mayor went on with various other announcements, but Snails barely paid attention and simply gazed at the still cheerful audience. I can’t believe they all are looking up at me and my friends! The contest winners then stepped off of the stage and began to head back towards the rest of the Nightmare Night fairgrounds. Snails gave Cheerilee a tender hug and, shoving the candy barrel alongside him with his magic, made his way to a semi-secluded spot neither under bright stage-lights nor under blaring loudspeakers.

Pirouette suddenly flipped over his back before she just hopped up and down in place in front of him. Surprised for a second, Snails buckled backwards. She pulled him closer, her hooves still feeling nicely tingly in a cold way, and smiled widely. Hearing her then make something like an animal shriek, Snails clapped his hooves and smiled back at her.

She’s giving Pinkie Pie a run for her money, hehe! Snails stepped back to let her stick her head into the barrel, and he couldn’t help but let his eyes run over her shapely looking flanks and beautiful dark red tail, which curled along her back right hoof in such a picturesque way. And I can’t let myself get that proud, after all.

“Hey!” Snails stepped over, getting face to face with Pirouette once again. “I couldn’t have done it without you,” he said, the mare nodding in a way that made her mane swoosh against her sunglasses. I know she’s so averse to touching, but, maybe, this might be some kind of right moment. Leaning on her body? Maybe hugging? I don’t want to seem too forward. “So, Pirouette, I guess we—” He slid a hoof over in a way that it slinked closer second by second to ‘s Pirouette’s back. “Can enjoy our prize together now?”

“Yes, we blasted well can!” Pirouette yelled back. Pushed onto the ground by the force of the scream, Snails just watched as the once demure young mare threw herself, face first, into the barrel. Eerie red lights burst out of the nooks and crannies of it as Snails sensed so much raw magical energy.

“Uh, Pirouette?”

A torrent of nasty-sounding crunching and slurping noises flew out of the barrell. Snails instinctively put a hoof to his face and kicked his body away with his bottom hooves. Barely five seconds had passed before a flash shot out of the top of the barrell, and to Snails’ utter surprise, he heard something like a muffed ‘Burp!’ sound.

“Oh, gosh,” he murmured, stepping inch by inch over to the barrell.

A loud creaking noise sounded off inside the barrel, and Snails froze. In an instant, the wooden sides of the barrel toppled over onto the ground, looking like oversized orange peels, with this dust-covered crater in the middle of it all. Snails took a moment to blink, and he suddenly made out a very satisfied-looking mare sitting beneath the dust.

“Pirouette…”

“This-is-so-amazing-that-it-makes-me-think-of-like-when-I-was-back-at-home-years-ago-and-how-I-got-my-cutie-mark-since-I-just-felt-that-my-heart-would-fly-out-of-me-from-the-pure-excitement-and-then-oh-wait-listen-to-me!” Pirouette rattled off at maximum volume as she leapt from spot to spot all around Snails, finally ending up atop a gnarly branch of the tree high above the colt. “I’m so blasted happy right now!”

“That’s cool,” Snails quietly murmured back, putting a hoof on the tree’s trunk.

“Oh, wow,” she cried out, running right along the branch over along the trunk to suddenly snuggle against Snails’ shoulder, “thanks! Thank you, thank you, thank you— you’re my hero!” Snails simply blinked, still not sure what to think about the sudden embrace let alone what to say. “Oh, mister lanky scientist, that’s going to keep me winded up for a long time! I won’t even have to, well, even bother with using up a ‘mark’! I feel so charged!”

“Y-you’re w-welcome,” Snails replied, loving how she shivered with maniac candy-generated energy with her mane tossing about upon her head and brushing all over his neck and cheeks, “and I love that you’re getting so forward with me.”

“You like that, big boy?” she commented, with a red spark shining out from behind her sunglasses as she slid a hoof along his shoulder over to his chest. She seemed so amazingly close to his body.

“Sure,” Snails responded, with his stomach abruptly rumbling at that moment. He closed his eyes, and, without even thinking, he went on. “I just wish I could have had at least one piece of the winnings, you know? Like one single caramel, or a single chocolate bar, or anything else!”

Pirouette recoiled. Snails, finding his body then leaning against empty air, fell right onto the ground, and he mentally kicked himself. Why would you give a hoot about candy when you’re so close to first base with an real, not-somepony-that-was-put-up-to-it-as-a-prank, girl? You moron!

“Oh, goodness,” Pirouette replied, and she seemed to shrink a bit, “I’m really sorry. I didn’t realize that—”

“There you are!” Mister Cake boomed out from behind the two young ponies, starling them both. He twisted his head over and motioned back into the main section of the Nightmare Night fairgrounds. “I’ve been looking for you both. I knew that, being such a close couple, you’d want to participate in tonight’s bobbing for apples contest as well.”

“Hey!” Pirouette called out. “Is that also for candy?”

“You have your choice of prize if you win,” he answered, putting a hoof on Snails mane, “and it’s not a contest with pony vs pony, just a thing for all of us to have some fun before the event starts close. I’d imagine that you wouldn’t want more candy having won so much already, but if you did—”

“Let’s go!” Pirouette dashed over towards the batch of carnival-like stalls. Mister Cake and Snails followed close behind.

Later...

“I’ll slide my nose to the side, and then you can pick up the edge! Easy!” Snips yelled, ruffling his mane as he took a deep breath. He pressed against the edge of the huge bucket before him.

“That makes no sense, and you know it,” Applebloom replied, rolling her eyes, “so, we ought to just have me push my nose forwards while you provide the direction.” She slid her hooves along the ground as she sniffed.

“Stop acting so arrogant,” Snails retorted, getting up close into Applebloom’s face, “and please don’t act like you don’t even want to listen to me.” He pressed hard against the bucket, making it creak.

“What is with you?” she exclaimed right back. She sucked in a deep breath. “Did you think we won before just because of you?”

The other couples, dotting along various spots of a gigantic black tarp around the middle of the fair-grounds, simply did their best to bob for apples, hardly saying anything, none of them having that much luck. Snails really couldn’t help himself from staring over at the scene, although he knew that he shouldn't. One of his hooves idly slid across the top of his own immense bucket.

“Take a picture, it will last longer, and blah-blah-blah,” Pirouette remarked as she tapped the ground besides Snails, “so, look, and let’s concentrate here.”

“Yes,” Snails murmured, trying to think as he looked at his aquatic reflection. Sheesh, this thing is big enough for me to fall into! Something about the water, magically flavored to be sweet and drinkable post-bobbing for some odd reason, resisted the power of his horn.

“How about you just shove your head down,” she began, moving her body forwards, “and let me use your nose and mouth as a kind of fixed anchor.” As Snails nodded, she immediately went on. “This stuff seems like darkish club soda to me, and I guess I’ll guide and sort of steer the apple. My nose goes up and yours goes as well. I lead.”

Snails dipped part of his head into the bucket. His companion soon followed, and Snails did his best to concentrate. Sweet glorious Celestia, she’s right besides me in the closest way, face to blasted face! Less than inches are between us now! Apple after apple came out of the bucket in just a matter of a few moments. Suffice to say, the plan worked like a charm.

“I wonder how everyone else is doing,” Snails muttered, looking over at the six apples that he had lying right beside him.

“Being too worried about other ponies is what started Applebloom and Snips’ ‘tiff, you know,” Pirouette replied, sticking her head in again. Snails said nothing as he just gazed at how the liquid sparkled with little bursts of magical energy in contract with Pirouette’s smooth red features.

Gosh, there’s pretty and then there’s amazing. For whatever reason, Snails found himself shifting a bit in place, following Pirouette’s lead rather than trying to remain still as a statue. I wonder if Snips feels about to ready to break up with Applebloom. I don’t think that would be fair at all, I guess, since he’s been a jerk but—

*Beep!*

“S-shoot!” Snails called out, startled by Cheerliee’s loud buzzer-like noise behind him as he tried to thrust his head up. The perky teacher announced that everything was over, but he felt determined to get that one last apple.

“Hey,” Pirouette exclaimed, squirming about to try and keep the apple balanced between them, “we—”

“Yes!” Snails called out as he shoved forward.

It only took an instant to happen, less than a few seconds, but it felt so incredible that, as the cliched yet true saying went, time lost meaning. Her lips slid onto his with a loud smack. He opened his eyes wide as she clearly did the same, showing off her pretty black eyelashes from behind her glasses. Pure instinct kept Snails pushing forwards, and she didn’t resist at all.

His first kiss had finally happened. Drinking in Pirouette’s feminine essence somehow, he simply let his senses swell up with raw pleasure, gazing at her beautiful figure with his eyes moving all over her. Things couldn’t have seemed more perfect to him. And then he popped his body just slightly to the left.

*Splash!*

Snails’ whole world suddenly went all tickly and bubbly. He popped himself over on the side, spitting out and shaking his head all over. Pirouette just blankly stared at him. Rubbing his hooves on his ears, he finally made out the immense chorus of laughter all around him.

“Okay,” Pirouette remarked, moving a hoof against her sunglasses.

Oh, Celestia! I’m never going to live this down! Ugh! Snails very awkwardly shifted his hooves against the side of the barrel to climb out. Every last laugh and snicker besides him from the other ponies felt like a sharp knife slashed against his bare face. I wonder if I could hide under the fair-ground stage or something until morning.

Snails rubbed his head against the ground a bit as he heard Cheerilee hushing up the other ponies. He looked over at his female companion, knowing that he seemed like a defeated animal at her side at that moment. "Oh, Snails, you silly thing," Pirouette said as Snails blew his mane out of his eyes. She smiled widely then as he shook all over, appearing somewhat like a large dog, and she moved over closer to him. "That's so, well, 'you'. And I've only known you for a bit."

"Want to, erm," Snails replied. Oh, gosh, she actually thought it was cute instead of horribly embarrassing! "Want to hang out after the Nightmare Night festival is over?"

“What a bold question!” Pirouette responded, and Snails winced. Before they could say anything else, Featherweight appeared besides Snails with a huge towel that he promptly threw right atop Snails. Getting vigorously rubbed upon, Snails then sighed.

“Sorry, I just,” he whispered, feeling himself finally getting dry, “thought that maybe--”

“Let’s do it!”

Snails, having the towel ripped off of him, stood up straight and held out a hoof. “Gosh, y-you r-really mean it?”

She arched her back as well, scrunching her nose to concentrate. Her right hoof picked up and shook with Snails’. “Why not? In fact, I think it’s just fantastic, Snails, that you want me to go to an after festival date with you.”

Later...

“I swear on behalf of everything holy that I feel like I’m heaven,” Snails murmured, walking right beside Pirouette amidst a crowd of ponies out of the fairgrounds.

“Hey, wait, you!” Cheerilee suddenly called out from beneath a gigantic maple tree at the edge of the mass flowing out of the festival entrance. Various teenage students milled about at her side.

Snails waved as he stepped over, still beaming with his cheeks so full and his smile clear, as the other students chit-chatted beside him. Pirouette hung back next to a bunch of bushes several steps away from the other teenage ponies. Snails glanced back at her for a moment.

“Oh, Snails, so I’m glad that you’ve had such a good time,” Cheerilee said, walking around the group, “and since you’re here and safe, I can just go ahead and call it a night. I’m so happy that the Nightmare Night festivities went so well, students! Please be safe on your way home! See you next week!”

Snails pulled his large saddlebag of candy over from atop a pile of rocks and placed it onto his back. As it slid over onto his side, he nodded over at Pirouette. The two of them enjoyed the scenery around them as the deeply bright moon lit up the various trees covered in nice Nightmare Night decorations.