Alteratia’s ear twitched. Her agitation clear She hated this time of the year. The cold as it was kept all the ‘lings inside being cold blooded did have its downsides. She hated the way the snow made her itch, how the hungry rumble from her love sac wouldn’t quit, but most of all she hated the ponies and their holiday, this “Hearth’s Warming Eve”.
“I can see it now” grumbled the queen “those little pastel ponies prancing about town, they’ll be just oh so busy right about now. They’ll be running to stores and decorating houses. Hay, they probably make feast for their mouses.”
“Mice your highness.” corrected Obsidian
“I know that, I am trying to rhyme.”
“With respect my queen, why are you attempting to rhyme? Also what’s not to like about this holiday of theirs? It’s not the holiday’s fault that it’s cold or snowing”
“It’s not the cold or the wind” sighed Alteratia “it’s the noise. Every Hearth’s Warming the fillies and colts wake from their beds to see what their old leaders left under their trees. They open their presents with much laughing and squealing. They get bongos and drums, cellos and trumpets, games and whistles, scooters and crumpets! But that’s not the worst of it all, after a day full of noise they gather in the town’s square and sing those insufferable songs.”
The queen began to ponder as she sat back in her throne. And puzzled away, she had to find some way to stop tomorrow from coming. A few moments passed when she sat up with a sneer.
“I’ve got it! With me my guard we’ve got no time to lose. I’m going to stop Hearth’s Warming from coming while the ponies still snooze!”
He let out a sigh and followed his Queen.
*****
Obsidian stood in the war room before his queen pouring over the maps she had sprawled on the table.
“Okay so one more time just so it’s clear, let’s go over the plan again.”
“It’s simple yet elegant. We make a disguise, load up the chariot with bags and sacks. Then sneak into each pony’s house and steal their decorations, presents and cheer.”
“It’s certainly simple, but do you really think that grand larceny will stop the holiday?”
“Of course it will, besides your only alternative was to go and change all of their calendars to spring and hope they would think they were all just confused.”
“Not my best strategy really.”
“Now quickly! Go find the supplies while I work on our disguises.”
“But your highness…”
“Go!”
*****
“What do you think commander?”
Obsidian looked up from his loading and was greeted with the sight of his queen. She was wearing cardboard that had roughly been cut to look something like barding which had painted black and gold. On her head sat a matching helmet with the added exception that she had hot glued a broom’s bristles to the top. But most disturbing of all was the smaller matching set of “barding” she carried with her magic.
“Er..uh… well my Queen”
“A perfect match for Commander Hurricane isn’t it?”
“While it shows you put a lot of work into the details” he lied “I was trying to say earlier we don’t need to make a disguise. We’re changelings.”
To make his point clear Obsidian changed into a light blue stallion wearing elegant black barding lined with silver, a matching flared helmet on his head and a sword on his side.
She stood there dumbstruck mouth open for a minute or two while Obsidian returned to his task.
“But why didn’t”
“I did your highness.”
“Well next time”
“Yes your highness.”
“As penance I am demoting you to a private for the day.”
“Of course your highness.”
She gave a slight harrumph throwing her outfits to the ground and with a well-practiced flick of magic was replaced with a perfect copy of the by gone commander.
“Alright, phase one complete.” She stated stepping into her chariot “Now on to phase two.” She nodded with a wicked smile.
Obsidian followed along and sat beside his queen in the chariot overlooking the valley below, patiently waiting for “Phase two” to begin.
“Ahem” the Queen coughed motioning to the harness in front of the chariot.
“You’re not serious my queen.”
“Commanders sit privates pull.” She stated haughtily sticking her nose in the air.
“You have an army.”
“This is a special covert operation, just my most elite.”
“I’m retired you know.”
“Not today you’re not. Now pull ‘Private Pansy’!”
Obsidian grumbled as he slid on the harness and began their descent to Ponyville far down below.
*****
Pansy huffed and puffed as he finished pulling the chariot to the edge of the town, where he unceremoniously flopped down on his haunches attempting to catch his breath.
“First. House. On. The. Map” he said between gasp.
“Good, now it begins…uh why don’t you sit this one out and take five?”
“Thank you my Queen.”
Alteratia grabbed a hoofull of sacs and with a swift beat of her wings flew to the top of the house, spotting the chimney she landed gracefully near it looking at it quizzically. She pondered a moment before turning around and poking her head over the side of the home.
“Pansy!” She hissed quietly “The ones in the story who supply the gifts, they enter the houses through the chimney yes?”
“That is the way the stories go yes.”
“How is that even possible?” she asked an annoyed looking coming to her face “The opening can’t be four hooves wide and even fewer across.”
“I believe it’s just a story your highness, I am fairly certain it is the foal’s parents leaving gifts marked as being from the founders.”
“Why would the ponies perpetuate a lie, to their offspring no less?”
“Like the exoskeleton fairy?”
“Shut up this is nothing like that.”
“Why not just use their doors? Or a window if that’s a bit too straight forward for you.”
Alteratia glided off of the roof landing silently in the snow near the front door. Gingerly she pushed the handle to test the locks only for the door slowly swing ajar.
“Why don’t they lock their doors?” she whispered to her accomplice.
“Contrary to their insurance premiums Ponyville has a very low crime rate.”
The queen carefully tiphoofed into the home seeing all manner of decorations, three socks over the fireplace, two large and one small, Colorful garland running the lengths of the halls, a tray with cookies next to a glass full of milk. But at the center of it all was a small evergreen strung with cheerful lights, hung with colorful glass bulbs. Below the tree sat a pile of boxes all wrapped in papers and ribbons. Picking one up She inspected the tag. “To: My Muffin From: Mommy” the queen made a face like she had tasted something foul once more looking over the room. “Disgusting.”
With that last comment she fell upon the house quickly and silently tearing it all down and stuffing it into her bags. First the socks then the lights and onto the garland and cookies. No stone unturned no thing would she leave. She hurried to the kitchen and to the icebox within opend it’s door emptying it as quick as a flash. All the hay-meat, their candies and treats even the muffins She bagged them all up and put them outside for her partner to load. Last on the list was that tree. She sneaked to the main room and made a grab for the tree but then a small noise from the hallway catching her attention.
There stood a small unicorn no older than three looking up to her as she carried the tree.
“Why are you taking our tree Mrs Hurricane? Cooed the small pony
Alteratia froze she needed a lie and she needed one quick.
“Why, this tree has a bulb with a crack on one side.” She lied “I’m taking it to my shop so I can fix it up there and bring it back here.” She tricked the foal, got her a glass of water and put her back to bed. She scurried back to the main room and hoisting the tree over her back making a quick exit.
*****
And so she went all over the town emptying their houses not leaving even the feast for the mouses. Just before dawn she finished her task and left on her chariot as quick as a flash.
Up the side of the mountain they rode through the morning, to the top of the hive to dump their gains. Arriving at the peak she paused and looked down at her subordinate.
“Just about now the ponies are waking up to find their holiday missing. I can see it now. First they’ll stand for a bit and ponder what’s happening then run around weeping and screaming trying to find where it’s gone. That my old friend is a sound I simply must hear.”
“I’m starting to think you are losing your grip on reality your Highness.”
Ignoring his comments she put a hoof to her ear, the sound started off slow but soon it started to grow. But it wasn’t the confusion and cries that she’d expected it hear it was that damned music from every other year.
“It’s madness! They sing even though I’ve stolen their joy. I took all their cookies their puzzles and toys!”
“You’re rhyming again…”
“It came without ribbons, it came without tags, it came without boxes, wrappers or bags!”
The queen harrumphed as she sat down in the snow, then she tasted something on the wind not unlike the sun’s glow.
And what happened next, well in Ponyville they say the Queen’s love sac grew three sizes that day.
“That’s.. That’s love! Can you taste it Obsidian?”
“Yes, it seems this holiday is truly about being together with one another and not about material gain, over eating, or going into crippling financial debt that will only serve to add stress to the start of the new year.”
“What? No, this holiday oozes love. Quickly to the hive! We must celebrate this Hearth’s Warming!”
“But didn’t you just prove it’s not the decorations and the gifts but the spirit of…”
“Now commander!” she shouted cutting him off.
“Of course your Highness” Obsidian sighed taking off for the hive.
Author's Note
Thanks to any an all of you who made it this far for my first try at FanFic. And my entry in "When They Were Young's" December contest. Hope you didn't mind the near shameless theft of premise of Dr Seuss, and or the inevitable pile of errors or just plain poor writing.
Anyway, have a happy (December Holiday)
