Of Men and Manes

by Xunsusp3cted anomalyX

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 4404

When the Power Ponies fail to stop the Mane-iac from using her Doomsday device, what will happen? Of all the things to stop the Mane-iac, a human seems the least likely to do so.

When the Power Ponies fail to stop the Mane-iac from using her Doomsday device, what will happen? Of all the things to stop the Mane-iac, a human seems the least likely to do so. Will the human be successful?
Tune in and find out.

Here is the Youtube Video of the episode, if you do not recognize anything.

5th attempt at MLP Fanfiction

Rated Teen, just in case.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-12 00:25:34 UTC

Doomsday Device Disaster

"What am I supposed to do; I'm useless," Spike groaned as he crawled through the air vent into the ex-shampoo factory.

"No wonder my friends never need me to do anything important. They're the ones with superpowers. They probably already figured out how to escape." Spike said to himself. He stopped crawling, absorbed in low self-esteem, and the vent below him gave way, landing Spike on a catwalk, and revealing the room where his friends were.

"Or not" he said worriedly as he spotted his friends in a cage, still under the effects of the Hairspray Ray of Doom.

A timer rang, and a henchpony sprayed the Mane six with the Hairspray Ray of Doom for at least the tenth time since their capture.

"Congratulations, Power Ponies!" Mane-iac cried out, laughing wildly in between sentences. "You shall live just long enough to see me fire . . . the instrument of your destruction! Once the Electro-Orb has powered it up completely, this cannon will amplify the power of my mane one million times, expelling an energy blast that will cause everypony in maretropolis' mane to grow wild! you will be my weapon's first victims, and there is NOPONY WHO CAN SAVE YOU FROM THIS FATE!"

During Mane-iac's craziest laugh yet, Fluttershy cleared her throat. "Ahem. I don't mean to interrupt, but aren't you forgetting about somepony?" Fluttershy asked with a weak glare.

"Humdrum? Little guy? No superpowers whatsoever? HE'S UTTERLY USELESS!" Mane-iac yelled.

The timer rang again, and the henchpony sprayed the Power Ponies with the Hairspray Ray of Doom again.

"Puh-lease! Everypony knows you just keep him around because you feel sowwy for him, wah wah" Mane-iac said condescendingly.

"Maybe in your world. But in our world, Spike- uhh, Humdrum always comes through when we need him. Always" Twilight retorts. The rest of the mane six yell agreement.

Spike stands up proudly and says to himself, "I'm not like Humdrum! When my friends really need me, I do come through. And they need me now"

Spike looks down and to his right and spots a tarp. He smirks and quietly makes his way to the floor.

"i see dementia must be a side effect of prolonged exposure to the Hairspray Ray of Doom. ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

as Mane-iac monologued, spike snuck  behind the many henchponies, and grabbed a loop of the tarp.

"tonight! we stand upon the brink of immortality, for we collectively, although mostly me, have finally defeated our most hated nemeses. we have hurled the brush of madness into the now-fearful face of, ahaha, goodness, and have struck a blow for freedom in the name of opression. AND NOTHING WILL STOP US AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Spike connected the second loop of the tarp to the chain hook, and pushed a heavy crate connected to the chain off of the catwalk, making the tarp gather up the henchponies on the ground.

The timer rang again, but before that henchpony could do anything, Spike used a suspended sliding hook to give a mean left kick to the henchpony, knocking the henchpony into the Hairspray Ray. The Hairspray Ray promptly fell over, and begain spraying the remaining henchponies on the ground, freezing their coats and manes solid.

"Way to go, Spike!" Twilight called out. She struggled from the opressive grip of the hairspray, and the Mane Six broke loose of the hairspray.

Rarity summoned a gigantic nail file, and sawed the bars from the cage with it.

"Get mad" Rainbow whispered loudly in fluttershy's ear.

"I'm trying." fluttershy said. she then proceeded to strain herself, growling.

The Mane Six escaped the cage, and an epic fight ensued.

(one partial epic fight later)

Spike watched the pandemonium in awe, but noticed something was missing. He looked around and spotted the missing pony when he turned around.

"Fluttershy," Spike called from the catwalk. "Where are you going?"

"You seem to have everything under control" Fluttershy replied.

"Fluttershy, we need you," Spike said. "You have to to power up."

"I'm sorry. It's just that nothing is making me mad" Fluttershy said.

Mane-iac's Doomsday Device aimed at Fluttershy.

"Say goodbye to your mane, Saddle Rager." Mane-iac said, then she laughed maniacally.

Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, and Applejack all looked over to Fluttershy, who had begun cowering.

"Fluttershy!" The five ponies yelled. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash turned to Mane-iac, as Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity turned to Fluttershy.

Mane-iac slammed her hoof down on the 'Fire' button of the Doomsday Device, which fired a bright blue beam at Fluttershy.

As the beam hit Fluttershy, thick white smoke enveloped everything inside of the building. you couldn't even see your hoof if it was a foot away from your face.

Man, Meet Mane

(Meanwhile, in Ponyville.)

I had just finished a special order at Sugarcube Corner when I needed to be on the clock at Gold Hammer Construction.

"I'm gonna be so late for Gold Hammer's shift," I said to myself. "but the commission for this special order will be so much more worth it."

i clocked out of Sugarcube Corner and made my way to my second boss's main office.

After a short walk across Ponyville, I opened the door, and called out, "Hey, Hammer! Sorry I"m late. Had to finish a special order at Sugarc-"

A letter appeared in front of me with a muffled pop. I grabbed the letter as it fell. My boss, Gold Hammer, looked up from his desk.

'Dear Todd Riley,

We need thou's help at the Old Castle immediately. A crazed pony with unnatural superpowers has appeared in our castle. We remember thou to be an excellent hoof-fighter. Willst thou assist us with pacifying this strange pony?

Sincerely,

Princess Luna

PS. \We will teleport you one minute after we sent this letter. That is approximately thirty seconds for you to prepare.'

"Actually, Hammer, the Princesses need my assistance with some crazy pony or something," I said, slightly confused.

"Just remember to work extra hard on your next shift to make up for it, Riley." he said, looking back down at his paperwork.

A second after he finished speaking, I was teleported to the old castle. Princess Celestia trottet up to me, and regarded me, well, like a young person- er, pon- colt! yes, like a colt.

"Good, you're here. Here's the information we have so far: This pony has the ability to control her mane and tail at will. She is completely lost to reason, completely insane, and she is obsessed with monologue-ing. Her name is Mane-iac."

"The mane six couldn't beat her, i presume? Either that, or you don't want to risk their flanks trying to beat her." I said smugly.

"Why dost thou think we called upon thou and not a pony?" Princess Luna said, inches away from my ear.

I jumped almost three feet into the air.

"Gah! Don't do that, Luna." I say, clutching my chest.

"Todd. . ." Princess Celestia said warningly.

i groan and say, "Fine. Please don't do that, Princess Luna. Happy?"

Princess Celestia gave me a cold look. "We were able to confine her in our old study, but the Elements of Harmony and Spike are still in the study with her."

I nod and gesture for Princess Celestia to lead me to the study that the Psycho, The Mane Six, and Spike were in.

We arrive at the door to the study, and I place my hand on the handle.

"Be careful. From what Spike told everypony about the comic that she comes from, she may be more powerful than you." Celestia warned me.

I nod, and open the door just enough to slip in. I do so and shut the door quietly behind me.

. . .

Something's not right. . . It's totally silent.

I look around, and the Mane six are all seated stiffly at a small table. Mane-iac is also at the table, but she's the only one who noticed my entrance.

Her mane and tail were an unusual two tones of green, as well as her coat being a darker shade of purple.

Her eyes were enrapturing, to say the least. Bright green irises surrounding red irises with the typical black pupils in the middle.

I caught myself staring, and hastily glanced over at The Mane Six, who were just now noticing my arrival, yet staying silent.

"What the buck is that thing?!" The Mane-iac suddenly yelled after staring at me for a full minute.She then started laughing crazily.

"Because I don't know what that thing is!" the Mane-iac yelled, still laughing like a madmare. She playfully elbowed Pinkie Pie, who was on her left.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sigh. 'It just had to be another crazy. . .' i think.

"Okay, c'mere. I promise this won't hurt." i say, holding my hand out, palm down, to the Mane-iac, planning to use my ability on her.

To sum up my ability, I can touch any living thing on it's head and learn everything about it, excluding the future and emotional state. Don't ask, I don't know how I got it.

I slowly walked towards Mane-iac, who was holding back her snickering.

When my hand was a few inches away from her head, one of her mane strands quickly grabbed my wrist and pulled it to the side quickly. It almost looked effortless on her part. Almost.

"You think I would let you touch me?" Mane-iac said loudly, then she started laughing again.

The Mane Six have just been sitting around the table watching our many interactions with precision-style interest.

"I can help you" I mutter quietly, almost too quietly to hear. Her ears twitched slightly when I spoke.

When she looks back to me, there is a new look in her eyes. Almost a hopeful look, as if to say, 'Really?'

I nod nearly imperceptibly, and I see a tiny smile grace her lips.

I pull my hand gently out of her prehensile mane and hold it over her forehead. I give her a look to ask 'Are you okay with this?'

She nods back, almost unnoticeable.

I take a deep breath into my lungs, and place my palm on her forehead. Instantly, I go through all of her impersonal memories; significant events during her childhood, her first job at a mane care company, making her own shampoo company, the spiral into power madness, the accident, and the showdown with the Mane Six in which she was finally victorious over the Power Ponies.

I pull my hand off of her forehead, exhale heavily, look into her eyes, and simply but cryptically say, "It is possible." I then stand up fully and leave the room.

Celestia walked up to me and looked me in the eyes.

"You didn't need to hurt her, did you?" she asked.

I shake my head no.

"But you found a way to help her, correct?"

I nod, then I begin to walk to the front doors of the castle. Princess Celestia doesn't try to stop me.

I pull open the door and begin to walk through it, but stop myself to say, "Mane-iac, or as her name used to be, Silken Strand, will be staying with me. Arrange it, i'll deal with the populace. If possible, I want her to walk back to Ponyville with me right now. See you later."

I then promptly exit the doorway and close the door before Princess Celestia has anything to say about my decision.

The Walk Back to Ponyville

(back inside the castle, in the study with Silken Strand and the Mane Six)

"So, what you're saying is, you want to live with him?" Twilight questioned.

Silken Strand shrugged, and said, "Why not? He seems friendly enough and nice enough to help me get more normal"

" . . . would you excuse me for a second. I'll be right back." Twilight said, leaving the study.

She then ran smack-dab into Princess Celestia, who was just about to open the door to the study, and fell onto her flank.

"I'm sorry Princess." Twilight said, while getting back onto her hooves. "i need to talk to you, though."

"Excuse me Twilight, but I must speak with Mane-iac- erm, Silken Strand." Celestia replied.

"Actually, thats what i wanted to talk to you about. Mane-iac-" Twilight said, but Celestia cut her off.

"Silken Strand" Celestia said.

"what?" twilight inquired.

"Her name is Silken Strand, Twilight." Celestia said

"oh-kay. . . well, Silken Strand wants to live with Todd, it seems." Twilight said.

Celestia couldn't have looked more dumbfounded.

"Todd asked the same thing of Silken Strand." Celestia said in disbelief. She then looked at twilight with utmost sincerity in her eyes.

"Did either of them say anything to the other that would have caused this turn of events?" Celestia asked Twilight.

"Nothing to make Silken directly want to live with Todd." Twilight said after a moment of recollection.

"Let me talk to Silken, please" Celestia said, staring down Twilight with all the authority she could muster.

Twilight shrunk low to the ground and scooted to the side, letting Celestia open the door and enter the study.

"Silken. I believe Todd had a request of you." Celestia said.

"ah, so that's it's name. continue." silken interjected.

"Todd's request was for you to walk with him back to Ponyville." Celestia began, but Silken stood up and walked to the door.

"Where are you going?" Celestia asked, surprised that a pony would first interrupt her, then completely ignore her.

"To walk with Todd." Silken said simply, then she left the study.

'She's more enigmatic than Lulu before the Nightmare Moon incident' Celestia thought wryly.

(with Todd, a few hundred yards from the castle.)

'I hope she joins me. It's a really long walk back to Ponyville.' I think to myself as I tuck my hands into my pockets.

I hear somepony yell after me, "Wait up, Todd!"

I stop walking and lean against a tree, waiting for the pony who called after me.

The pony comes around a bend in the path, and I can see that it is Silken Strand, walking on her mane tendrils like Doctor Octopus would have.

"Tia let you go with me, huh?" I ask her.

"You mean the big, white alicorn, right?" Silken asked as she chuckled nervously.

I nod and stand up from leaning on the tree.

"mhm" I murmur.

"So, . . . Your name is Todd, I believe." Silken asked hesitantly.

"Yup, Todd Riley. That's my name, don't wear it out" I said jokingly, trying to ease the tension.

Silken let out a weak chuckle, and we fell silent.

The whole walk was mostly spent in silence. We listened to the sounds of nature, and I tried once to make conversation by pointing out a few birds I recognized. I wasn't successful.

Oh, and I almost forgot. she's actually kind of cute when she walks on her hooves. she trips over her prehensile hair occasionally. i don't know why she wanted to walk on her hooves, but, as i said earlier, it's cute.

I actually offered to carry her once. She gave it a moment of thought, then politely replied, "No thank you."

I think I may have seen a small blush pervade her cheeks while she thought about it, but I was probably imagining things.

I open my door to the humble, cozy place I now call home, and gesture into the premeses with a small bow. "Welcome to my home" I say with a smirk.

"So this is comparable to an average Pony's residence in this part of the world?" Silken asked, surely sounding quite educated.

"Erm, I guess. . ." I replied awkwardly. "I haven't visited any of my neighbors, so I don't know."

I hesitantly walked to my couch and grab my TV remote. I contemplate turning it on, when Silken asks, "Is that the Spony T3500S Television, Model M? It's the best television on the market thus far."

"Eh, nope. It's an Earth model.  Sony Trinitron, I think. Kinda old now" I reply, unsure

"You mean 'Spony'?" she asked, looking slightly confused.

"It's called 'Sony' where I'm from." I reply.

"What? Mintauria has television now? Or did you minotaurs steal the design from us ponies." Silken said accusingly, glaring at me.

"I'm not from here! Not from this planet, not from this solar system, not from this galaxy. Hell, probably not from this universe. . . . do you know what it's like to be taken somewhere you don't know about against your will?" I growled.

Her face immediately went from accusing to hurt to pissed.

'Oh shit' was the last thought I could remember thinking before a hoof smashed into my skull.

I came to in the clutches of Silken Strand's prehensile mane. Not a tight, oppressive grasp, but a tender, loving, almost sorrowful grasp. That's what it felt like, anyways. I had my eyes closed.

"Ow. . . " was the first thing out of my mouth.

"Buck, Todd, I'm so sorry. It was your fault, but I'm sorry I hit you as hard as I did." Silken said tenderly.

I open my eyes to see that I am outside, on a dirt path. The sun was right behind Silken's head, giving her a nearly angelic look (that is, if angels had a prehensile green mane, a purple fur coat, and multicolored irises.)

I was still a little loopy in the head from that unexpected hit, so I replied with, "Mint cherry ice cream," followed by a giggle.

I rapidly shook my head, eliciting a 'rattling can' sound to come from it.

"What?" I asked.

Her eyes had a glazed-over look, one you may see from a person who isn't listening to you and is instead fixated on someone they like.

Her eyes were glazed-over at me. Her beautiful eyes.

She leaned forward, her eyes beginning to close, her lips puckering slightly.

A Dark and Stormy Night

The TV suddenly went quiet and made a loud, sequenced beeping noise. Shocked, Silken dropped me. An automated voice began playing from the TV.

"This is an Equestrian Weather Advisory. A class 1 severe thunderstorm warning has been issued. Weatherponies are advised to stay at home and not combat the storm. Pre-emptive safety measures dictate a mandatory warning for all territories listed: Ponyville. Cloudsdale. Hoofington. Manehatten. Cautionary warnings for: Canterlot.

Up to golf-ball-sized hail and hurricane-force winds predicted, with 150 mile per hour gusts. Thunder and lightning imminent. Possibility of EF1 or EF2 tornados. Advising to stay indoors, take shelter in cellars and basements. Turn off or disconnect all electrical devices. Do not leave your homes. Repeat.

A class 1 severe thunderstorm warning has been issued. Weatherponies are advised to stay home. Pre-emptive safety measures dictate a mandatory warning for all territories listed: Ponyville. Cloudsdale. Hoofington. Manehatten. Cautionary warnings for: Canterlot.

Up to golf-ball-sized hail and hurricane-force winds predicted, with 150 mile per hour gusts. Thunder and lightning imminent. Possibility of EF1 or EF2 tornados. Advising to stay indoors, take shelter in cellars and basements. Turn off or disconnect all electrical devices. Do not leave your homes. This has been an Equestrian Weather Advisory."

The annoying beeping returned, and Silken backed up a bit and put me on my feet. I hunt down a flashlight and electric lantern, and enter my basement.

"Might as well turn off everything electrical in my house" I mutter as I flip the master fuse in my fuse box. All lights and power outlets in my house went dead, and I turned on the lantern. I could hear the thunder in the distance already.

There was a muffled bang from upstairs and a clattering of about 24 hooves and two clawed feet.

"Hey Todd! Mind if Me, Spike, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Rainbow stay here for the night? You're the only one with a safe house." Twilight shouted. Silken gave me a 'not amused' look at that.

Another bang sounded off, this one like a door being almost knocked off its hinges.

"And me too?" a muffled voice called from outside.

"They're my best friends. What are you gonna do?" I ask Silken jokingly. One of her hair tentacles cuffed my jaw jokingly.

I chuckle, shrugging, and walk back upstairs. "Yeah, that's fine. Just let me drag out my air mattresses. . . and no cloud beds, Rainbow. you remember what happened to my carpet last time." I could pretty much hear Rainbow rolling her eyes. "Fine, whatever." she said.

When Twilight got close enough I 'casually' asked if she lives in a tree. She gave me a look, and I chuckled.

The five twin-sized air mattresses were quickly set up and aired up with Twilight's assistance. "You guys decide your sleeping arrangements. I'm bunkin' with Silken."

When everypony decided who they were bunking with, I had to stifle a chuckle. Fluttershy and Rarity shared a mattress, as did Spike and Twilight, Applejack and Rainbow, and Pinkie and Ditzy.

'Two very popular ships, as well as a third, well-known ship.' I grin, my hand over my mouth. At least one of the duos was cuddling.

" . . . And no bucking each other." I add with a hearty chuckle.

I turn to cuddle with Silken, and am quickly wrapped snugly in her hair. I smile and cuddle her closer, quickly drifting off to sleep.

Lightning flashed and thunder crashed. I woke up with a start, and sighed. "Dammit, that was a good dream, too. . . whatever it was." The wind was nearly deafening.

Fluttershy squeaked, and quietly made her way to me. I wrapped her in a hug as soon as she was close enough. She was tensed up and shivering badly, but as soon as my arms wrapped around her, she quickly calmed down and began nuzzling my chest. I smiled warmly at her, and ran my fingers through her mane. I have that weird effect on ponies.

"Thank you" she whispered. I looked over at Rarity to see that she was on her side, snoring with her mouth wide open. I chuckled lightly. 'I may never let her live this down, but it's just too cute.'

Another flash went off, followed by a crash of thunder, and Spike and Twilight woke up with a start. Fluttershy cringed in my embrace, and relaxed a second later. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were both shivering and cuddling each other closely.

Thankfully, my house was the first of many designed to withstand up to an F3 tornado force wind and gusts of 180 miles per hour. I'll explain quickly.

Since the wedding invasion of Canterlot, I've been a part of the  rapidly improving peace talks between their queen and Princess Celestia. Not many ponies know, but changelings have been integrating into our society since the month after the invasion, a couple weeks after the peace talks began. In the last month, when peace talks were done and regular friendship meetings occurred, changelings have assisted in making safe living conditions for the homeless. When bricklayer's mortar was accidentally mixed with changeling 'bio-slime', as I like to call it, the resulting structure withstood all magical attacks, and wind speeds up to 200 miles per hour. And the Mortar mix was esentially the only thing left standing in the aftermath. But, I digress.

I was drawn out of my thoughts by another three ponies glomping me. Ditzy, Fluttershy, Twilight, and Pinkie now nuzzled me. Rarity snored on, and Spike slept peacefully. Applejack and Rainbow were shivering less, but were still cuddling.

I looked down to see Twilight smiling thankfully at me, Ditzy's eyes shut tight while she held me close, Fluttershy snoring softly, and Pinkie nuzzling her face into my chest.

'Jeez, I like it and all that jazz, but I'm not a teddy bear to nuzzle . . .' I think, letting them nuzzle and cuddle anyway. 'Where's Silken, though?'

i carefully try to pull the ponies off of me, but the two pegasi aren't having it. Twilight reluctantly relents, as well as Pinkie. Thankfully, pegasi are light enough to carry easily.

I wander upstairs, and haphazardly choose to check the balcony. Silken is standing on her rear hooves in the blustery wind, a few strands of her mane anchoring her to the house, and the rest of her mane blowing in the wind. It was strangely beautiful. Enticing, almost.

"Todd. . ." Silken started.

"Yes, silken?"

". . . Am I beautiful?"

I don't speak, choosing to opt for silence.

". . . even before the incident, nopony came to me and professed love. . . or even asked me on a date. . . were- were they scared of a business mare? Or was I just not beautiful to them? . . ."

Silence became my best friend. I was finally able to extricate myself from the two pegasi nuzzling me.

"My . . . downfall into what I am now actually began as a failed suicide attempt. I know the comic pictured my insane change as an accident. The vat was going to be what I would drown in when I shocked myself to render my body immobile. Instead of drowning, the contents of the vat reacted with the electricity and made me what I am now. With all the insanity from the hustle and bustle of Maretropolis gone, I've regained a slight sense of self, and some time to think on my past. It is just . . . so difficult to not regress into what I was less than a night ago. As my sanity returns, it also slips away, and i shall be left as an empty husk of what I was and what I had been. You understand, right?"

". . . I can't say I know your struggle on a personal level, but I do know that there is one person out there somewhere that loves you. . . most likely two. . ." I finally speak.

Silken turns to face me, tears staining her coat and a small smile gracing her lips.

" . . . And I also know that I will fight for your affections, for I am one of the two." I continue, stepping forward. Silken's smile starts to get bigger, happier.

A strand of her mane pulls me close, and our lips meet.