Health Benefits

"A-and sometimes, I don't know why she does it, she just...does, y'know? An-and then usually, she gets really angry with me, and then she starts yelling at me and makes me feel bad. Sometimes, she even says my full name when she yells at me, NOBODY SAYS MY FULL NAME EVER. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU?! SHE USES MY FULL. NAME."

Staring deeply into the eyes of her listener and breathing heavily, Rainbow kept her grip on the mare's shoulders, before she received a whack upside the head with a rolled-up newspaper.

"Ow! That hurrrt..." she whined, rubbing her cheek with a hoof. Frowning, she watched as the pregnant mare next to her got up from her seat and walked to the other side of the waiting room, making sure that she was as far away from the rainbow-maned Pegasus as possible.

Flattening her ears to her side, she slumped in her chair, waiting for her purple friend to finish getting an appointment for her. She stood in front of the counter, conversing with a lab-coat wearing unicorn, his pure white coat blending in with the walls of the waiting room.

Beginning to lose the feeling of pain emanating from her cheek, Rainbow gave a harumph of boredom, crossing her forelegs and sticking her bottom lip out like a pouting foal. Eyes wandering the various magazines that sat to the left of her chair, she gave an unbelieving sigh, bending over to assess what she should read.

Right then and there, Twilight arrived by her side to rescue her, "Oh thank God Twilight, I almost read a book while you were gone!" she celebrated, raising both hooves in the air and giving an open-mouthed smile.

"I thought you liked reading?"

"Oh, I do. Trust me. Some of these books here are really gross though. Did you know that wingboners can actually help in intercour-"

"Ehehe...that's enough Rainbow Dash, the doctor wants to see you now," Twilight quickly responded, thrusting a hoof out to shut her friend's mouth.

"Oh, okay Twilight. Just so you know, if you hear a lot of screaming out here, do not come in. I'm prob'ly gonna have an awesome party goin' on in there," Rainbow stated, waving a hoof out and fanning the air in front of her.

"O-okay, Rainbow," the Alicorn stammered, giving a half-feigned smile, "go on into the Doctor's office now."

"Alright Twilight. I'll, uh, see you in a bit!"

"Yeah, uh, bye Rainbow Dash...?"

Of course, the Alicorn wouldn't dare leave the room. She was so far the only one of her friends that knew about Rainbow Dash's new appearance, and wanted to be the first to know about what exactly it was. She was thankful for the fact that this was a 24-hour Walk-in office, she couldn't bear thinking about how long she would have had to wait if it wasn't so.

Walking over to the pregnant mare still in the room, she quickly apologized, turned tail, and sat across from her, hooves in her lap as she awaited her friends examination results.

"So, Miss.." the doctor trailed off, surfing through his clipboard for her analysis paper, "Ah, Miss Dash, how are you feeling?"

"Uh, pretty good, actually. Thank you for asking," the mare replied, her hind legs swinging freely over the side of the table.

The doctor tried his best to keep from chuckling at his patient's whiny-sounding voice, "Eheh, ahem. Well, what seems to be the problem?" he asked, raising his eyeglasses to his chestnut irises.

"Well, uh, my stomach kinda hurts."

Raising a brow, the doctor returned to his clipboard, looking through the notes his patient's friend had written down, "It says here that you usually don't hold this appearance. What does she mean by that?"

"Oh uh, I dunno."

"It says here that you usually don't look this...chubby-"

"IS SHE SAYING THAT I'M FAT?!"

"It appears to say so-"

"I'M NOT FAT! WHY WOULD SHE EVEN THINK THAT?! I MEAN, SURE I EAT A LOT OF SUGAR CUBES, HELL, I MIGHT BE THE FIRST SUGAR CUBE ADDICT EVER, BUT I AM NOT FA-A-A-AT!" Rainbow yelled, burying her hooves into her forehead as she keeled over and began to wail in sadness.

Suddenly feeling both guilty and awkward, the Doctor slowly advanced toward the weeping Pegasus, raising a hoof and placing it on her shoulder comfortingly, "Now Miss Dash, you are not fat-"

"YES I A-A-A-AM!"

"..you're just...big-boned..?" the Doctor couldn't quite tell whether it was a compliment or a question, but thankfully, his patient thought it was the former.

The Pegasus immediately stopped her wailing, instead quieting down enough to the point where she let out simple whimpers in intervals, wiping her eyes with a hoof whenever a tear dared cascade down her cheeks, "I...I guess that does make me feel better. Thanks Doctor Whateveryournameis."

"It's Cross. Doctor Red Cross," he answered, giving a solemn smile to his patient.

"Oh, well uh, thanks Doctor Red Cross. I feel a lot better now..."

"Good, good. Now, I usually only give these to fillies that come in here, but you've been a pretty good patient, so I might as well let you have one too," Cross said with a smile, turning his head and opening a nearby cabinet.

"Oh my God oh my God oh my Go-o-o-d, whaddou I get?!"

"Thanks Doctor Cross! You were really helpful today!"

"You're very welcome, Miss Sparkle! Have a good day, and keep an eye on Rainbow Dash for me!" Cross responded, waving goodbye from the wide-open door of the doctor's office.

"Can do, Cross! Thanks again!" Twilight said, waving farewell and turning her attention to the road ahead of her, "So Rainbow Dash, how'd it go? You feeling okay?"

Looking to her left, she found her rainbow-maned friend fumbling with a plastic container, "Uuughh, why did he give me dental floss? It's not even the freaking dentist's for cryin' out loud!"

"Well, maybe he ran out of lollipops-"

"He didn't though! I saw a whole bowl of them in the corner of his office! It's not fair!"

"Rainbow, I'm sure he had a logical reason why he didn't give you a lollipop-"

"There isn't a reason, though!"

"Rainbow...please, just calm down. Here, we're coming up on Sugarcube Corner, we'll get you something there, okay?" Twilight groaned, trying to drone out her friend's complaining from her hearing.

As if sensing her struggle, the Pegasus immediately ceased her long listing of why she should have received candy, suddenly brightening up and giving a big, admittedly adorable smile, "Uh, okay. That sounds fun."

"You don't sound very enthusiastic about this."

Waving a hoof in the air, Rainbow replied, "Nah, I'm really happy about it. Can't you tell, Twilight?"

Biting her lip, the Alicorn gave a feigned laugh, "O-of course I do! Now c'mon, I'll lead the way."

"Awesome! I get to have cupcakes!"

"Great...great..!" Twilight once again feigned, giving an obviously fake smile and trotting to the front door of the confection shop with vigor. Opening the door, she waited for Rainbow to pass by and thank her. After three heartbearts, she cracked open a single eyelid, scanning the field in front of Sugarcube Corner for her friend.

Giving a deep frown, she found Rainbow Dash upside down, her entire body wrapped in dental floss and fixed in a rather impossible stance. Looking to the skies and giving a deep sigh, she trotted over to her fallen friend, who stared back up at her with a still-sincere grin.

"Oh uh hey, Twilight. You wouldn't believe what just happened."