Bunny Stew

by TwilightPoopSparkle

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark
Length: 2526

What are all the possible ways to kill Angel Bunny?

"Oh no, Angel, please don't do that."

"Don't ruin the food Angel. Many ponies would like to have that."

"Please stop. I've been asking you nicely. Leave my animal friends alone."

"I'm begging you…this costs money…"

"Stop that! Don't mistreat MY friends! They didn't do anything to you!"

"HEY! Are you even listening to me?! Don't be such a nasty MEANIE!"

"That's it! I'M DONE WITH YOU!!!"

"THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE! I'M NOT KIDDING!"

"Do that one more time…and I will murder you."

The picture goes to MisterDavey on Deviant.

I was inspired by Whack Your Assistant by the amazing TittySparkles

This is also a comment driven story. You can give ideas on how to kill this bastard.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-16 11:52:39 UTC

Prologue/Hooves

     Sigh...I'm so tired of Angel Bunny. Every day, he makes my life a living hell, I don't know what to do anymore. Please, hear me out. I'm kind, you know me. You can look me up. Fluttershy: The Element of Kindness. I'm sweet with Angel, I will do anything to make him happy. I give him food, a nice warm home, and so much love and care. Do you know what I get? Absolutely nothing!

     Actually, there are a couple things I do get out of him. Bruises, threats, migraines, and food dumped on me, not to mention pain. All are fairly common. I have no idea what I did wrong. Did we get off from a bad start when we met each other? No...it couldn't be that. I found him starving on my front porch a couple of years ago. I gave him a blanket and a nice juicy carrot. He was sweet the first couple days, helping me clean up everything. I was very shy back then, so I didn't ask for much.

     I guess one day, he took advantage of my shyness. He became greedy and selfish, and extremely rude to all my other animals. I should have thrown him out on that day, really. Angel was just too adorable and precious at that time to me. Even so he still takes advantage of me today, and this is why I'm trying to become more assertive. You can ask any pony, I have become more confident in myself. I no longer stutter, or have a panic attack so easily. I barely tear up at anything, unless one of my animals die.

     But he still bosses me around! Time after time, he disobeys my orders, forcing me to give the stare. I hate using it on anything. After I use it, they comply, but become so fearful of me. I don't even know if it works on him. He has too cruel of a heart to be nice. After the stare, Angel does what I say, but becomes even meaner than before!

     I've looked at stress books, animal training, and even an anger management course, but nothing heals up tensions between me and my bunny. And I fear those tensions are going to break soon. It isn't me he bothers as well. The other animals and my friends are forced to deal with the little brute as well. Many times, I had to stop Angel from ripping an animal to shreds. I'm just so lucky I can heal them, or else Angel kills them. He bites, scratches, or does anything else to also force the animals to submit. Every animal that visits me are always so wary, even flee the room when he walks in. Harry the Bear is terrified of Angel!

     You also might think I'm a chicken, but that's a lie. Live with Angel for one month and you know how I feel. Rarity was sick of him after two weeks. She refuses to come here unless I remove the bunny. I'm not able to have a sleepover with the CMC anymore, because Angel despises everything that doesn't cater to him. Not to mention that he likes to rip out Sweetie Belle's hair. He is the pickiest animal I have ever cared for. Mess up one Insy bitsy thing, and he will reject it. I waste hundreds of bits just to make him happy.

     You can call me a wimp, and I will accept that. Me? Losing against a bunny? Ha, you must think I'm a joke. I try my hardest to overcome him, but he just stamps the willpower out of me. There is only one word that describes me with him: slave. I'm forced to do everything he says, or it goes downhill. Angel is worse than the bullies at Flight Camp. He uses the worst insults possible, and they all strike home. His favorites are about my mother committing suicide. Angel always laughs at it. It's just not fair!

     I tell my pony friends that Angel will become gentler soon, after all, he is starting to get old. It doesn't help at all. Twilight is always telling me that there is a reforming spell to help my bunny. But I always politely decline. Would you use a spell to permanently change who someone is against their will? But this past week, I've been thinking that I should take Twilight's offer. Or maybe...

     No! That's to cruel! I couldn't possibly...or can I? I have the motive, the supplies, the persecutor, the excuse, the trama from him, everything! I have everything to do it. But this changes who I am. I've always been the quiet and shy pegasus. The one who prefers the ground then the sky. Then again...I am strong. I have the power and the heart. I'm able to kill him. But I'm also scared. Could the police find me? Will I go to jail? They might say I tried to murder an innocent beast. I might go to jail for the rest of my life! I could be killed for this!

     I don't know. Really, I am so confused at the moment. I feel like I'm going to be ripped in half from my conciseness arguing with each other. Good versus evil. Would it be good to kill this monster? Or would it be bad? I should probably give him more time. Maybe Angel will make up soon. We could become best of friends again then everything would be back to normal. Is it normal for me to be his slave? After all, it can't get that bad...

     That was horrible! What was I even thinking?! I just can't stand him anymore. Just four days ago, he attacked Rainbow Dash, just because I forgot to add two more cherries on his Ice Cream Salad Delight. He cut her skin pretty deep, and she was confined to the hospital for a day. When I grounded him, he just started tearing up the drapes and furniture in retaliation. I just can't handle his fussiness anymore! This is just too much for me right now.

     Besides, even if I did kill Angel, he would go strait to Tatarus. The bunny will be tortured for all of eternity before I can get to him. Why did I even give him the name Angel? I would like to forgive him, but he has gone too far. My friends and animals depend on me. This time, his death won't be so quick and painless. Or...I have another idea. I can ask Twilight for a Time Travel spell. Ooh! And a memory wiper. I could kill him over forty times and he wouldn't even know of it. Even though he is a devil, he doesn't deserve to go through the phycological trauma over and over again.

     I quietly knocked on the door, hoping that Twilight was there. I still was nervous, how was I going to explain this to her? This is so confusing...I took a couple of steps into the library, wincing as the floors gave a loud squeak. I don't want to bother her too much.

     "Hello Fluttershy." Replied the cheery alicorn as she came up from her basement. "Sorry I didn't respond sooner. I was sharpening my knives for when we bake cupcakes with Sunset Shimmer." Oh, were they still doing that? I would rather work with a bunny than a...gulp...a live pony.

     "Well Twilight, I want to ask for a favor. I need you to enchant a scroll for me. It must have a memory wiping spell and a type travel one. Could you do it for me? Pretty please?" I take out a small scroll out of a pink satchel I was carrying. I placed the paper on the table while the alicorn studied it. Since I'm not a unicorn, the paper to hold the spell will do.

     "Well Fluttershy, I think that this spell isn't too complicated to complete. Go do something else, I'll see if I can prepare the spell." I gave her a long hug thanking her of how much this means to me. I didn't tell her what I was about to do though. While her horn glowed, I walked over to where the book shelves were resting. I might as well look at the books of torturing. Celestia, I still can't get over saying that...word. I already have the books on animal and rabbit anatomy, so that leaves the torture books.

     My wing grabs the nearest book as I quickly flip through the pages. Just as soon, I threw the book in a corner from shock. NO NO NO! All they ways the machine works...how the victim screams in agony...all the methods ever created! Thank goodness the past is behind us. Once my courage appeared, I took a quick peak again. Oh My! It even tells how to make such a horrible contraption. Leave this book for some other sadistic pony, I'm just going to use the supplies I have.

     I manage to place the book back into it's rightful place when Twilight walked in. She looked at me curiously before speaking. "I have your scroll Fluttershy. It creates a time loop around anything, and nothing living can escape from it, unless you say so. I find it convenient when I'm on a date and I screw up."

     "Does it work on rabbits?" Ouch...that might have given my plan away. Even as a friend it would be weird to tell. She gives me another suspicious look. "Uhhh...I think it works on any living organism. If it doesn't, let me know!" I sighed in relief. If the mind eraser spell doesn't work at first, I think Angel can handle knowing that he dies one or two times.

     I should also go to the marketplace as well. My house usually doesn't have sharp items around. I learned that lesson when a little cub accidentally cut his paw on a vegetable knife laying around. My sharp items usually had locks on them, but my animals were too curious for locks. I sold them away anyway to pay for Angel's food.

     I checked to see if I had any bits in my bag. Okay, I saw 200 bits. This should be enough for me to grab a couple of things. My whole body shakes as I nervously give a couple of bits to a mare at a vegetable peeler stand. "Say, I never seen you here around here. How often do you use a peeler?" I knew that was a light-hearted joke, but I still let out a 'meep!' as I ran away from the stand.

     For the next hour, I used the rest of the bits to buy my supplies. Most just looked at me weirdly, but I ignored them. Sweat poured down my forehead as I tried not to make eye contact with them. My satchel was bulging by the time I reached my moss-covered cottage. Angel was in front of the door, tapping his foot impatiently. "What?" Did I miss something? Did I forget...

     Dammit! I forgot to get Angel a chocolate covered carrot. His eyes narrowed as I opened the bad. Rats! There were no more bits! I shakily stepped into the house, pretending he didn't exist at the moment. "Ummm...Angel...I don't have your carrot right now, so if you would excuse me-" His paw slapped my face hard, leaving a red mark. My bunny was breathing heavily as he pointed to the kitchen.

     "Okay! I'll see if I find any carrots in there!" I rushed to the room. Now was the time.  I pretended to cut something up before wailing as loud as I could. "OWWWWWW! I accidentally cut my hoof. Ohhhhh, I feeling weak. There's so much blood everywhere! I need to go to the hospital now!" I dramatically threw myself on the ground, placing a ketchup covered napkin on my left hoof. Good, my animals didn't hear me. I guess they left the house when Angel was there. This will be a good time to create the loop. I tapped the scroll, causing a few sparks to pop out. If it works, when I reset it Angel should come in here with no memory of the incident at all.

     Angel hopped into the room carrying my camera. He was going to take pictures of me? "Hah, I fooled you. Silly bunny." I stood up, threw off the red napkin, and shut the door quicker than he could escape. He backed up against the closed door, trying to reach it for what was all worth. Before he could react, I stepped on his back leg, crushing it to oblivion. Bone shards stuck out of his leg as a small puddle of blood pooled out from underneath.

     He looked up at me with shock, before realized what I just did to him. He clutched his leg and curled up into a bloody ball. Was that really going to stop me? I pried apart the legs, and stepped on the other leg. This time...he couldn't get away. Well...more or less couldn't run away. He used his arms to weakly drag himself to the phone, before my other hoof blocked him.

     His arms were currently occupied with dragging himself away, so the only defense he had was biting me. It was a little nip, but it was deep enough to hurt. Why do little bunnies have such sharp teeth? I accidentally reared back into a wall. When I stopped flailing around, I totally forgot that Angel was beneath me. An ill-timed hoof stepped on his ribcage, fatally wounding him. Let's just say his chest partially exploded. The ribs ripped out of the chest, spilling out his pink slimy intestines. He yowled one more time before collapsing on the floor. This might be a mess to clean up.

     At least three organs were busted, if not, they were already on the blood-soaked ground. The heart was stabbed in the middle and his liver was torn to shreds. He would die in the next minute or two if I didn't finish him off. My hoof raised above his head for the last part and this time I won't miss. "Farewell Angel." The last emotion I could see on his face was "Why?" Oh well. I slammed my leg so hard on his head that it cracked my tiled floor. Brain matter and skull flew from the impact, quickly soaking me and the room in bright crimson. I never knew what a smashed brain looked like before. Trust me, it's nasty.

     I slightly gasped as a sense of euphoria from seeing all this gore passed through me. It might be fun hurting Angel, but that was just wrong! Brushing off the feels, I stepped onto Angels's body, reaching for the scroll. I tapped it as more sparkles came out. The room shimmered before fading to white. Hmmm...I wonder what are the possible ways to kill Angel Bunny?