The Power of Poniesby MasterweaverChaptersLife of Radiance issue 4 story 1: ReunionSpecial Edition Magic the Gathering Card: Maretropolis PenitentiaryLife of Radiance issue 4 story 3: RespiteSpecial Edition Magic the Gathering Card: ConvalesceMistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 37: EVIL ALIGNED!Special Edition Magic the Gathering Card: IfritMistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 39: Prophecy of the PendantSpecial Edition Magic The Gathering Card: ExpurgationistMistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 40/The Fantastic Filli-Second issue 28: Deadly Mists!The Fantastic Filli-Second issue 29/Mistress Mare-Velous and Humdrum Issue 41: A Diseased MindThe Fantastic Filli-Second issue 30/Mistress Mare-Velous issue 42: Plague of PerilSpecial Edition Magic the Gathering Card: Relic InfectionThe Spectacular Saddle Rager Issue 74: Of Love And Hate Part 1Special Edition Magic The Gathering Card: Shimar Zentra, the Last VentricianMasked Matter-Horn Adventures issue 25: FALL OF THE MATTER-HORN!Special Edition Magic the Gathering Card: Professor ShadowlightSpecial Edition Magic The Gathering Card: Virulent HazeSpecial Edition Magic the Gathering Card: Horse CoughLife of Radiance issue 4 story 1: ReunionRadiant Glory trotted down the stairs of her mansion, yawning daintily as she adjusted her bathrobe and nodded at the maid waiting for her. "Good morning, Diamond Cuff. Ah, I see you have today's newspaper, what would I do without you?" "I can't say, ma'am." The white unicorn gave her a sly smile as she levitated the paper over. "I'd wager the cellars would be far more empty, though." Glory peered over the news, her violet eyes giving her personal servant a mock glare. "I don't know what you're referring to, Diamond, and I certainly won't thank you for spreading such nasty rumors." "My apologies, ma'am." "I will, however, once more extend my most sincere thanks for ensuring that those rumors never became true." A warm and genuine smile formed on the millionaire's face. "If it wasn't for you, I'd probably still be drowning my sorrows down there.(1)" "Just doing my duty, ma'am." Diamond Cuff smiled back, the slightest glimmer of sadness in her green eyes. "If you'll excuse me, I need to check the kettle in the kitchen." She curtsied briefly and trotted away, leaving Glory to lounge on an extravagant couch as she read through the day's articles and idly combed her purple mane. A moment passed. "Hmmm?" Radiant Glory peered at the paper. "My, my, this is certainly interesting. Something will have to be done!" With a sudden motion the pale blue unicorn rose, swishing the paper onto the couch. "Diamond!" "Yes ma'am?" The maid peered round the corner. "Is something the matter?" "Quite. An important matter has just come to my attention." Glory hung up her bathrobe with a sigh. "I'm afraid I won't be able to enjoy your wonderful tea this morning." She trotted out the front door, leaving the paper open on a sensationalist headline. MASKED MATTER-HORN ARRESTED FOR ROBBERY The Maretropilis penitentiary was one of the most secure prisons in the world. Guards trained by the legendary Captain Steelbender himself trotted down these halls, their mana batons free and ready to swing at a moment's notice. The west wing was constructed of meter-thick brick walls and impenetrable metal doors, with a closed sewage system that was examined daily and cleaned out weekly and a water system triple filtered before it even reached the cells. The east wing was a large empty space where specialized cells were constructed and placed for the more dangerous of criminals. The north wing, ostensibly, held laboratories devoted to researching the unusual powers that some of the penitentiary's perennial occupants possessed; that it also had a number of war tanks on reserve was a matter usually glossed over. As Radiant Glory's luxury chariot descended onto the southern landing platform, she looked over the fortress and sighed. It was such a shame, in her opinion, that the penitentiary was under the administration of the corrupt Commander Bit Champer. She stepped out onto the pavement, smiling politely at the warden as he trotted up. "A pleasure to see you again, sir." 'If I could toss you in one of these cells my day would be complete,' she added in her own thoughts. "Always nice to see the noveau rich take interest in the handling of our more... undesirable citizens." Bit Champer grinned back with crooked teeth. "I must ask, though, are you absolutely sure about this? Some of the ponies we keep behind bars are quite frightening." "Fret not. I have handled Ouroboros destroying half my mansion.(2) A few madponies behind bars won't ruffle me in the slightest." Glory raised an eyebrow. "Besides which, we won't be headed for the east wing will we?" "Pfeh, no." Bit Champer chuckled grimly as he led her along. "That fake horn of hers is on the fritz. Without it she's nothing more then a pegasus in a slinky suit." He raised an eyebrow, giving the mare a calculating look. "What's your interest in the Matter-Horn anyway? A warden's gotta know these things." "I have long been blessed with wealth," she replied smoothly. "It continues to amaze me how few of those in need approach my estate to ask for help, instead resorting to such desperate acts of thievery. If I can assuage the suffering of such a famous criminal, perhaps others will flock to my abode." "Don't be too hopeful," Bit Champer warned her. "This mare's a quiet one. I figure she'll bite off your hoof soon as you extend it." He levitated the single key from his ring, rotating the prongs into position and inserting it into the lock. "If you need any help, yell." Radient Glory stepped into the cell quickly, looking at the mare who rested on the cot bolted to the floor. "Oh dear. You're quite the mess." She flicked her tail meaningfully at the door. "When I saw the news I almost didn't believe it. The Masked Matter-Horn, resorting to thievery?" The mare rolled her eyes. "I was framed. Not that anybody will believe Shadowlight's behind all this. He's an upstanding citizen." "Hmm, well that is a serious accusation." Glory stepped forward, lifting one of Matter-Horn's hooves and examining it closely. "Why, darling, you are seriously hurt! These burns and bruises, has nopony even looked at them?" "I refused to take off my mask," the pegasus explained. "So they refused to treat me." "Well that simply won't do at all. Commander! Might I ask that you transfer this prisoner to my private hospice?" Bit Champer snorted. "I'm afraid that I--" "I'll pay for the expenses, of course," Glory continued. "--will need some time to organize the paperwork," the guard finished smoothly. "Perhaps we can talk it out in our office?" "That would be excellent, sir." With a final nod at the prisoner, Radiant Glory stepped out into the hall. Author's Note (1) Rapturous Radiance issue 1. (2) Rapturous Radiance issue 32. Special Edition Magic the Gathering Card: Maretropolis PenitentiaryGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Maretropolis Penitentiary 2WB Enchantment If a creature would die, exile it instead. Pay the mana cost of a card exiled with Maretropolis Penitentiary: Return that card to the battlefield under your control. Any player may activate this ability, but only whenever that player could cast a sorcery. When Maretropolis Penitentiary leaves the battlefield, return each card exiled with it to the battlefield under its owner's control. Life of Radiance issue 4 story 3: RespiteRadiant Glory smiled politely at the guard as he escorted the Masked Matter-Horn into her new room. "Thank you, darling. You're far too kind." The stallion snorted. "Mare was framed, everypony knows it. Only reason Bit Champer ain't let her go was cause o' the pay he's getting under the table. If Steelbender were here... Maretropolis would be a hay o' a lot different." He tipped his helmet. "Glad ta see that somepony still stands up for the right." The blue unicorn nodded back, her smile now much more genuine. "I take it you'll be checking in once a week?" "I'd do it more often, but the level of paperwork I've got ta get through..." The guard shook his head sadly. "I can only hope you can keep her from causing more trouble, ma'am." "I guarantee she won't be engaging in any criminal activity within these walls." She met his eyes and gave him a warm pat on the shoulder. "Now then, I think you need to report to your commander?" "Aye ma'am." The stallion gave her one last nod and trotted away, leaving her alone with the famed superheroine. The room that they were now in was far nicer then the prison. True, there were bars on the windows, and the door itself was a thick portcullis... but the bed was soft, the connected restroom was clean, and there was a small button on the wall which would ring a chime in the servant's quarters when pressed. "This is an... interesting cell," the Masked Matter-Horn commented, glancing around with some interest. Glory tapped the button with a hoof, smiling. "This is a recovery room for insane, possibly dangerous individuals. All the rooms in the hospice were designed like this, actually." The pegasus on the bed stretched her pink wings. "So, I'm insane and possibly dangerous?" "Perhaps, darling. But for now, all that you definitely are is in need of some medical treatment. Ah, Diamond Cuff!" The millionaire stepped aside, gesturing for the maid to step in. "Your patient awaits." Matter-Horn raised an eyebrow. "I remember you. Didn't you help get that class of foals to safety while I was fighting Mirror Mask?(1)" "Just doing my civic duty, ma'am." Diamond Cuff stepped forward, peering at the pegasus carefully. "Oy, you're a sight. Can I ask you to take off your armor--not your mask, ma'am," she quickly reassured her. For a moment, the pegasus glowered suspiciously at her. Then, with a sigh, she began to disrobe. "I need to examine the thaumatic circuitry anyway..." With the air of an experienced professional, Diamond Cuff ran her hooves over Matter-Horn's coat. She nodded to herself, her own horn glowing with magic. "Mmmhmm. Burns, a bit of muscle strain... were you electrocuted?" "Yes... some strange robot that Shadowlight hired." The millionaire's ears perked on hearing that. "Hired? Not commissioned or built?" "No." Matter-Horn shook her head. "It said something about a bargain and he gave it something to track... someone." Radiant Glory shook her head. "There are precious few machines intelligent enough that they require a trade. Most are highly classified, and those that aren't... did this robot have a name of any kind?" The masked pegasus considered the question. "He called it... exterminate, I think." Diamond Cuff drew a sharp breath. At her employer's curious look, the maid steadied herself. "Some of my old army mates were around when X-Term N8 landed, ma'am. I attended their funeral, talked with the officers... that thing's a real monster." She shuddered. "We're right lucky it's only looking to kill one creature on this world... leastways, that's all it wants right now." Matter-Horn sighed as she looked over her armor. "Well, then, it's best I get a warning out to this poor soul. The machinery in this is fried anyway, I won't be any use out on the street... Glory, you won't mind keeping an eye on Shadowlight for me, will you?" "Maretropolis is as much my home as it is yours," the millionaire replied. "And besides, I have you to thank for my new fashion.(2) Pink works far better on you then it ever did on me though, to be sure, I do love the highlights of the bracelets that you chose to improve." "And the fact that they let you form telekinetic constructs, instead of just letting you climb walls, has nothing to do with it?" "Practicality and elegance go hoof in hoof, darling." Radiant Glory smiled smugly. "Or have you forgotten how you spray painted your horn to match your coat when I met you?" The pegasus pulled her pink wings in and grumbled under her breath, blushing. "I thought it would hide the fact that the horn wasn't real...." "Please darling, it was incredibly obvious to everypony who saw it." The unicorn gave her a sly smirk. "Not to say it didn't make me jealous, though; I daresay a number of mares dreamed of stripping it from your head just for its... beauty." "You're never going to let me live that down, are you...." After a moment she sighed, turning to Diamond Cuff. "You seem to know a lot about this robot. What exactly is it and who is it hunting?" Diamond Cuff shook her head quietly. "...it's a killing machine, far as I know. Meant to kill every last thing on one particular world, only one of those things hopped a rocket ship and landed here before X-Term N8 got to it. I don't know how or why, but it infused its DNA into a mare that it found." She scuffed her hoof across the floor for a moment. Then she looked the Masked Matter-Horn in the eye. "You might know her as the Saddle Rager." Author's Note (1) Masked Matter-Horn Adventures issue 20. (2) Radiance Classic series, issue 37. Special Edition Magic the Gathering Card: ConvalesceGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Convalesce W Instant You gain 3 life. If you have 10 life or less, you gain 6 life instead. "In the worst of times, the smallest of things can be the most important." --Diamond Cuff Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 37: EVIL ALIGNED!A costumed pony on a windy rock face narrowed her eyes as she jammed her enchanted hoofspur into the wall, pulling herself up and looking around. I know I saw him come through here.... and even if I miss him, I have Humdrum keeping a lookout from the Maremobile. She rolled her eyes. Stupid name. Who thought that up? Oh well, we're stuck with it now. With a final heave, she pulled herself up onto a ledge, eyes darting around... and just managed to roll away from the fireball, smirking beneath her mask as she snapped her golden eyes toward her opponent. "Looks like you're burning your candle at both ends, Ifrit!" "KAhahaHAHAHAha!" The muscular figure of flame twirled about in midair, grabbing a spur of rock in one thick hand as the flickering tongues of his eyes sparked in horrible glee. "You underestimate me, Mistress! I'D JUST MELT THE CANDLE!" He pulled the super-heated stone off the mountain face and threw it at the heroine. Mare-velous sidestepped the improvised javelin, narrowing her eyes at the fiery spirit whisking through the air. "What are you even doing here, hotshot?" Keep him distracted. "There's nopony up on this mountain for you to burn!" If I throw a hooferang at him and snap out with my lasso at the same time... "Mindless destruction might be my favorite game, Mistress, but even I must bow to practicality on occasion." Ifrit tapped his chest. "Alas, my sojourn into the mortal world this time comes with its chains. The one who summoned me was fearful of my destruction, and so I found a message to meet my master here." He tilted his head. "You wouldn't happen to have my bottle on you, little circus girl? That would be quite ironic." The red mare narrowed her eyes. "No... Not this time. I've learned from the museum incident.(1) I'm not your summoner." Darn it. I'm going to need to find whoever summoned him and get them to cap the bottle... if they're not dead. "Course, I'd like to have a few words with whatever idiot decided you'd be a capable ally." Ifrit giggled as he rolled through the air. "Of course you would. And I'd like to burn you to a crisp!" He released a sudden shockwave of fire, Mare-velous barely managing to slip behind the very spur of rock that had been thrown at her earlier and avoid being turned to ash. "Yet you continue to deny me that, so I must continue to deny you access to my current master, whoever they may be." "I believe I requested you leave the mountain standing," hissed a strange voice. "I did not set you free to level this rubble." Mistress Mare-velous boggled as a strange, green-black spidery scorpion-like creature clambered up the cliff face, Ifrit's familiar purple bottle clenched in one of its pincers. Its four glowering eyes shifted from the fire spirit to the pony; thick hairy fangs rattled in annoyance as its stinger swayed from side to side. "My apologies, master. The circus girl found me, and I had assumed you would be opposed to her intruding on our meeting." Ifrit bowed. "Considerate. But unnecessary. She will be dead soon enough." The spider-like creature slung a leg at Mare-velous to knock her off the mountain face. The masked heroine rolled with the swing, grabbing on and climbing up the thick limb up to the shoulder, which prompted a swipe with another limb. A snap of her rope and she'd managed to lasso the attacking pincer, earning an aggravated hiss as she swung onto the creature's head. "Sorry, bug boy, but I'm not going to let anypony or anything set Ifrit on the world! Now cap that bottle!" "I see why Zapp admires you primitives," the creature growled. "Anything as disrespectful as you she'd get along with well. But I will see her duties performed!" The thing's stinger shot out, Mare-velous barely dodging the large barb and slipping off the head of the beast; she quickly found herself under the monstrous fangs, there was a brief pinch, and suddenly everything went fuzzy. The creature backed off, ignoring her. "There. Unless anyone in a fifty mile radius has the antidote for Chlrkxen venom she's going to die. Now then, slave, I will need you to do a few very precise things." Mistress Mare-velous fought to keep her eyes open as weariness pumped through her veins, watching the conversation taking place before her. Ifrit spared her a glance. "Precise is not my speciality, master. I prefer destruction." "Worry not, slave. As soon as my plan is in motion, you'll have more destruction then you could ever handle at your hands." The spidery thing waved a pincer, walking along the mountain trail. "And after that, I am most certain the Vengeful Union could find places in need of your unique services. Follow." The heroine lifted her head, trying desperately to focus on the leaving figures. Vengeful union... what? I remember hearing about them... somewhere in Manehattan...(2) Then she blacked out. Moments later, a blue dragon clambered up the rock face. "Mare-velous, I saw Ifrit and some strange bug heading--oh no." He leapt across the rocks, worry in his violet eyes as his cape fluttered behind him. He pressed his ear against her chest. "Still alive, but your heartbeat's slowing." He looked around as he hefted the unconscious pony over his shoulder. "Don't worry, Maze Dancer, I haven't let you down yet...." He gazed down through the mists, his eyes narrowing as he caught sight of a small village at the base of the mountain. "And I'm not going to let you die here." Author's Note (1) Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 24 (2) Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 15 Special Edition Magic the Gathering Card: IfritGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Ifrit, Living Inferno 3RR Legendary Creature — Efreet Trample Ifrit, Living Inferno attacks each turn if able and damage that would be dealt by it can't be prevented. Whenever Ifrit deals combat damage to a player, it deals that much damage to each other player. 5/5 "The problem with being an ancient intelligence is that everyone asks me stupid questions. Fortunately I'm made of fire." Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 39: Prophecy of the Pendant"Are you sure she'll be alright?" Humdrum glanced from peered fretfully at Mistress Mare-velous's unconscious form. "Be at peace, my scaly com....patriot." The elderly ram smiled at his worrying, adjusting the odd chain of bones and claws round his neck. "It is clear that you and... this mare share a bond deeper than most." He took a deep breath. "We are used to purg...ing poisons in this town." His milky white eyes drifted toward the bed as the pony took a deep breath. "Ah, see? She is wake...ing." Mare-velous shook her head as she blinked awake, glancing around the humble cabin. "Uuuugh. Where am I? Humdrum?" "You're okay! Oh thank the fates.... I had to carry you down the mountain and fight off the Birdy Bludgers!(1)" The blue dragon rushed over, hugging the heroine tightly. "Heh, thanks. That's... what, the ninth time you saved my life?" She nuzzled her companion with a smile. "I owe you, buddy." "Eh, all I did was get you down here so that this fellow could help out." Humdrum stood aside, waving toward the elderly ram. "I mean, at first I thought he was just some old kook but, well, after some of the other locals pointed me back to him--" The heroine's eyes widened when she saw the ram, and she jumped off the cot only to land in a defensive position. "You! I thought I'd seen the last of---gah!" Her breath hitched as she slumped down on one knee. "Careful, young miss." The ram smiled, meandering over to a dresser, searching for something inn its drawers. "The poi...son in your body is not yet fully purged. Such ener...getic actions will only spread it again." Humdrum raised an eyecrest. "Uh.... do you two know each other?" "He was the ram with the Plated Portent!(2) The one that helped him steal the--" "Pendant of Peril?" The ram smiled, producing a small amulet on a golden chain. "As though I would... let such a fool handle a dangerous art...ifact, let alone keep it." He sighed, placing the mystic totem upon the dresser. "I could not stop him from steal...ing it; an old ram has little chance against... animate armor. But I knew to wait until the opportune... moment. While you fought Portent, I gave it to a friend... and the armor thought I, being old, had dropped it somewhere and forgotten. By the time he real...ized our ploy, my friend had returned home, and the Pendant has been here ever since." Mare-velous narrowed her eyes. "And you haven't returned it to the museum... why?" The elderly ram sighed. "The pendant can summon peril, but... it can also sense it. Though I intended to... return it immediately, it granted me a horr...ible vision. Disparate evils uniting for a... terrible cause. I had thought that keeping it secret could... prevent such catasrophe." "Yeah, that's probably not going to work out. Seeing as Ifrit is in the employ of that weird scorpion spider... thing.(3)" She snorted derisively. Brilliant description there. "What kind of demon was that anyway?" "No demon, my child, but a beast... from the stars." The ram turned toward the fireplace, watching the cackling flames as his face was wreathed in shadow. "Long ago, another such creature came here... to fight something even worse. Though it won, it cared not... for the glory or thanks of us primitives. It left without a care. Only a few... know that now, and fewer still..." "...Fewer still... what?" "It is nothing, I hope." The ram turned around with a grim smile. "But in any case, you could do far more without that particular worry. I am... certain you have other things you will need to do." Humdrum crossed his arms. "You know, the mysterious old guy schtick isn't really helping us trust you. I mean, we're grateful and all that you saved her life, but--" "You may take the pendant." "...what?" "What's with the change of tune?" Mare-velous asked, cautiously edging toward the amulet. "Simply a gesture of trust. To show that I... will not use it." The ram turned back to his fireplace. "There is a train station in the town. It connects to Gruffington City. Can you... make your way from there?" "...I suppose." The heroine carefully took the amulet and slipped it into her saddlebags, keeping her eyes on the ram. Something is definitely wrong with that guy. "Did your vision mention anything about a Vengeful Union?" "...a beneficiary, but not the cause. Still, if you can seek out any...pony that knows of them, perhaps you might prevent such a disaster. The train leaves in... fifteen minutes, and the poison will be purged from your system in... half an hour. You may want to find an outhouse." Ugh. "Thanks for the tip..." Mistress Mare-velous gave him a lingering look. Then she turned and walked out the door. Humdrum walked quickly after her, quickly matching her pace and taking a position by her side. "So, uh... are we going to turn that guy in to the cops?" "For what, stealing the pendant?" Mare-velous sighed. "You heard him, he was an unwilling accomplice, and he certainly understood the danger of the thing. If the Plated Portent can't find him here, neither can any other big-time crook looking for an old mystic's help. Maybe later, when whatever this mysterious vision he had is about has passed." She took a breath and stepped up to the ticket booth. "For now, let's just get to Gruffington. Maybe we can figure out what the heck Ifrit's new master is in one of their libraries." Author's Note (1) Mistress Mare-Velous and Humdrum issue 38 (2) Mistress Mare-Velous and Humdrum issue 25 (3) Mistress Mare-Velous and Humdrum issue 37 Special Edition Magic The Gathering Card: ExpurgationistGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Expurgationist 2B Creature — Goat Shaman T, Pay 1 life: Regenerate target creature. 1/3 "Death is inevitable. All I can do is delay the process, stave off early endings. For some, it is enough." Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 40/The Fantastic Filli-Second issue 28: Deadly Mists!"Gruffington," Mare-velous snorted as she stepped off the train. "Remember the last time we were here, Humdrum?" "How could I ever forget?" The young dragon glowered at the city around him. "At least Vanglorium isn't here this time.(1) I'm looking forward to a nice, calm look through the library shelves. Maybe sitting down for a meal." "Yeah, after all that's happened I think we deserve a bit of a rest." Mare-velous rolled her shoulders. "How about we find a restaurant and ask one of the locals for directions?" Humdrum grinned. "Sounds like a plan to me." The two of them trotted down the street. But unbeknownst to them, a sinister plot was already in progress... Weak. The stallion passed over the unconscious unicorn mare, his coarse cape brushing her cheek as he opened the stairwell door and stalked up to the roof. All weak. Sunlight reflected off the thick black lenses of his bone white mask as he emerged into the day. Must be purged. He slung the thick rocket off his back, planting it firmly in front of him and running the blackened claws of his gloves over the small compartments strapped onto it. Only the strong remain. With a final nod of satisfaction, the stallion pulled out a match and lit the fuse. He turned and headed back down the stairs, not reacting to the sound of the explosion at all. He did not glance out the window as he passed it; he knew that the spinning disks were already spreading their twisting greenish fog as they spun out and down to the earth. He considered the unconscious mare for a moment, when he came back to her prone form. Then he stalked on. She would be dead soon enough. Meanwhile, elsewhere in Gruffington... "We're going to have to remember this place," Humdrum said with a smirk, biting into his gem sandwich. Mare-velous glanced around. "Actually, I think I do remember this place. This is the building that Vanglorium was threatening right before you threw that rock at his head." "...oh yeah! Wow, what are the odds?" "It's not as odd as you expect," a passing waitress said with a smile. "We were so grateful for how you saved us... well, we did some research and added a few things to the menu in case you came back." Humdrum grinned back, inclining his head. "All part of the job, ma'am." Mare-velous smiled and rolled her eyes. Flirt... "Actually, ma'am, we were hoping to find a library around here. Do you know of any around?" "Well... the public library is always open, of course, but if you can't find what you need there you might want to consult Professor Digit. He's a little bit kooky, but the man is a genius. Heck, while you were busy fighting Vanglorium, he and his daughter worked together to get the citizens of Gruffington out of harm's way!(2)" The heroine winced. "Wow. I should have thought of that." "Don't worry, they understood what you were doing--" A white disk suddenly smashed through the window of the restaurant, greenish mist spewing out as it skidded across the ground. "EVERYPONY DOWN NOW!" Mare-velous tackled the waitress to the ground, psychically directing her lasso around the disk and flinging it back out the window. Please don't be a bomb please don't be a bomb... Humdrum was already pulling the tablecloth off and throwing it over the gas that had managed to escape before she threw it out. "What is this stuff?!" the waitress cried, staring in horror at the faint trail of green. "Whatever it is, it's dissipating rapidly." Mistress Mare-velous let out a relieved breath, slowly standing. No explosion. Yet. She grabbed another tablecloth. "Could you head to the back room and get some duct tape? We need to cover the hole in the window. Humdrum--" The dragon tossed her a black object with an elastic band. "...always a step ahead." She grinned, donning the muzzle-covering gas mask. "I'm going to go out and see what the situation is." Thank the spirits that I took those ventriloquist lessons back in the circus. "I'll be back when I've figured out what the hay is going on." As Mistress Mare-velous stepped out, it became clear that the incident was not at all isolated. She could see various disks ricocheting down off the walls of Gruffington's buildings, the twisting mist slowly enveloping everything in a sickly green fog. Her eyes narrowed as she tracked the path of one of the highest disks. It came from around the center of the city... where the skyscrapers are. If only I knew what this gas was... She glanced back at the restaurant. "Excuse me, miss! Do you think that professor you mentioned would know what this stuff is?" "If he doesn't, his daughter will!" The waitress ran behind the counter, pulling something out and pressing it. "She gave us this after we were mugged by the Blue Coven(3), it'll call her right here!" "I'm not sure I can wait that long!" "Well then," piped up a new voice, "it is quite fortuitous that I have arrived already!" Mistress Mare-velous snapped her gaze around, blinking in astonishment. The entity before her almost looked like a filly in a skin-tight white suit... only the suit was apparently completely empty. Purple lines zigged and zagged in and around the material, and constant bolts of similarly colored electrical power collected into a chaotic simulcram of mane and tail. Strangest of all, though, was the face, a wireframe of glimmering energy that smiled up at her with big, eager eye outlines. ....what. "You're... the professor's... daughter." "Affirmative! Well, to be precise, that is the term we acknowledge as most accurate." The electrical face flickered into a frown. "Father is responsible for the construction of my core computer system, at any rate. My appropriation is Functional Intelligence for Logical Logkeeper Interface 2.0, but it is much more efficient to refer to me as Filli-Second." "I'll remember that..." Mare-velous managed, before shaking her head. "But first thing's first. Do you know what this stuff is?" "I will require a sample for analysis, but the attack is consistent with the patterns of Horse Cough." Filli-Second's mane flared for a moment, burning away some of the green mist. "In all probability this is an aerosolized bacterium or virus that he engineered with the intent of culling unacceptable deviants from a prescribed norm." "I take it this isn't the first time he's tried this." "Records state this is the ninth such occurrence." The wireframe face flickered into a worried expression. "However, none of the previous incidents covered as large a territory." The earth pony nodded. "Right. We need to get rid of this mist, then, and fast. Your... electric mane thing, it just burned it away. How big can you make that?" "That effect is localized to within one hundred thirty centimeters, with effectiveness decreasing as speed increases." Without warning, Filli-second's face shifted into a jumble of symbols before reforming into a lip-biting frown. "Even at optimal speeds I would not be able to purge the city for two hours. It might be possible to generate a mass electrolysis but I would require grounding points--" Mistress Mare-velous pulled out her hooferangs. "Would these do?" Filli-Second stared at them for a moment. "...thaumatically attuned horseshoes with earthbound and lifeseek runes carved into the surface?" "...I just call 'em hooferangs." "Hmmm. Yes. Yes, if I induce conductivity within the metal and form a magic power feedback matrix over the city the runic patterns could be channeled into the air and force the infection underground!" The filly-like entity hopped up and down with a bright smile. "This could work! May I have your permission to utilize--?" "You don't even need to ask, Filli." The older heroine hoofed them over. "Bring 'em back when you're--" One second she was there, and the next there was only a fading line of light. "...done. Huh." Author's Note (1) Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 20 (2) The Fantastic Filli-Second issue 8 (3) The Fantastic Filli-Second issue 12 The Fantastic Filli-Second issue 29/Mistress Mare-Velous and Humdrum Issue 41: A Diseased MindThe empty road was suddenly home to a purple streak of light. Just as suddenly as it appeared, it was gone. Filli-second zipped down the familiar streets, whisking left and right around ponies and other obstacles in her way. Placing the groundwork for her plan was of the utmost importance; a map of Gruffington formed over her vision, a small pinging dot marking her position. It was the work of nanoseconds to plot out a path to the outer-most corner of the town, though it took her a few minutes to properly attach her spellwork to the hooferang. "Greetings mister Gnarlwood!" She waved at the old stallion sitting in his rocking chair on the back porch. "I apologize but the utilization of your private property is essential to the neutralization of a biological threat currently propagating throughout the town. Might I impose on you to ensure this artifact remains undisturbed?" After a moment, Gnarlwood snored. "Excellent. Farewell!" And with another flash, Filli-second was gone. *** Who designed this city, Pike Lasso? Mistress Mare-velous was galloping down the roads of Gruffington, her eyes still on the skyscraper she'd figured the disks had been launched from. She was somewhat hampered by the five-way intersections and numerous dead-ends she kept running into. To hay with it, I'm going roof-hopping. Once more her circus training proved useful as she scaled a brick wall with her spurs in mere minutes. The very moment she was on the roof she summoned her mystic rope, wrapping it tightly around a stovepipe next to her and a gargoyle on the next building. Three cartwheels later she was across the tightrope, already untying the rope with her mind and looking for her next targets. Mare-Velous looked up at her destination as her rope psychically anchored itself on another two rooftop protrusions. Even if this Horse Cough is still there, I don't have any idea what he looks like or how he thinks... "Dang it, I should have asked Filli-second!" "What inquiry should you have asked me?" The earthpony nearly jumped off her rope, but managed to turn it into a full grip and swirl to regain her hoofing. "That's the second time you've snuck up on me!" "It is hard to locate an object moving at such a fast velocity as to avoid registering with optic nerves," Filli-second amicably pointed out. "I was wondering if you might have surplus hooferangs? The amount I currently possess is not enough to anchor a magical effect throughout the whole city." "Sure, I always carry a spare set!" Mare-velous tossed the energy being some more golden horseshoes. "Learned to do that after I ran out in Nickeragua.(1) While you're here, though, could you tell me what Horse Cough looks like?" "Well..." *** A guard pony screamed and fell as the red welts on his face grew green. "He utilizes clawed gloves and boots, laces with various diseases." The guard's partner managed to block a swipe with his spear, but from his panting he was clearly exhausted. "Also, he wears a coarse, black cape and a wide-brimmed black hat." The criminal grabbed the spear and shoved the guard back, quickly reaching into a pocket and tossing something. "The surgeon's uniform under those are black scrubs, with bandoleers of poison grenades..." And Horse Cough watched calmly as the guard succumbed to a coughing fit in a green mist. "But the plague mask he wears, it's white. Bone white." *** "Huh." Mare-velous raised an eyebrow. "Not a subtle fellow then." "Negative. Horse Cough is egotistical to a sociopathic extreme." Filli-second's face flickered. "Please excuse me, I must place the other anchors for the spell matrix." In a flash, she was gone again. Focused little filly, isn't she... Mare-velous shook her head, finishing her trek across the rope. Well, at least now I know what to look for. And once more her rope flew through the air on its own. *** "But miss Glitterhorn, the positioning of this artifact is a crucial component in countering the horrific action of the criminal Horse Cough!" Filli-Second pouted up at the mare wearing a fluffy bathrobe. "It is imperative that you allow me to place it in your courtyard lest an undesirable fate befalls all of Gruffington!" "The last time I allowed you to 'help the city' with my property, my swimming pool was emptied into my bedroom.(2)" Glitterhorn turned up her nose. "I simply do not have time for your childish pranks." "I assure you that no alteration to your property will occur as a result of this incident. But I desperately require this!" The wireframe face flickered into a soulful stare. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?" "No means no, young... filly." The unicorn trotted away, waving at her butler. "If you see this one put that thing down anywhere, I want you to take it out and throw it over the fence." The butler nodded. "Yes ma'am." As soon as his employer was inside, he shut his eyes. Filli-Second tilted her head. "What are you doing?" "Just enjoying the sun on my coat, ma'am." "And the shutting of your eyelids assists in the enjoyment?" "Just so, ma'am." The young heroine stared at him. "...I had assumed that the eyelids would block photons from reaching the retina of your eye, which in turn would render your sight nonexistent." "That is correct ma'am." "But miss Glitterhorn requested that you throw out this hooferang if you see me place it anywhere on her property. How can you conduct your duties if... you are unable..." Filli-second's face flickered. "Therein lies the question, ma'am," the butler replied, eyes still closed. "...Oooooooooooh." *** Mare-Velous ran down the wall, galloping to a standstill in front of a stallion in a bone-white mask. "Horse Cough, I assume?" The black cape fluttered in the green mist as he turned, slowly, to face her. A pale white mask regarded her calmly. "You have a filter." "And you do too." Mistress Mare-Velous inclined her head. "What's your point?" For a moment he was silent. Then, all of the sudden, he lunged. Author's Note (1) Mistress Mare-Velous Classic Series issue 20 (2) The Fantastic Filli-Second issue 24 The Fantastic Filli-Second issue 30/Mistress Mare-Velous issue 42: Plague of PerilMistress Mare-Velous dodged the mad doctor with reflexes trained from years of circus training and even further years of crime fighting. "I'm sorry, doctor, but I don't think my insurance covers this sort of medicine!" she quipped, rolling around as she summoned her rope with her mind. "In fact, I have half a mind to sue you for malpractice!" The golden twine shot toward Horse Cough, wrapping around a rear hoof and tugging sharply. The stallion sneered, rolling into the sudden imbalance and swiping at the rope with his claws. "Spare me your paltry jokes!" Mare-velous let out a cry as the rope's glow withered into an eerie green shade, the pain lancing through her mind almost enough to distract her from the pony once more swiping at her. "You are as pathetic and vile as any other denizen of these streets!" Even through her sudden headache, Mare-Velous was able to roll out of the way of the claws. Psychic link, hurt the rope, hurt me... "Oh I don't know, doc, I've kept up a strict training regimen!" She slipped under anther swipe and slammed her forehooves into his side. "I've fit as a fiddle!" "GRUNGH!" Horse Cough's cloak twirled as he slid across the road, finally gaining purchase mere inches from the sidewalk. "Then you deny the truth of things. The strong survive! The weak perish! That is the way of nature!" His claws cut through a metal mailbox, and he swiftly bucked it at the mare. "Ponykind has perverted the order of the world!" Mare-Velous slipped sideways, just barely dodging the heavy hunk of metal sent at her. Okay, so I need to avoid those claws, Filli-Second has my hooferangs, and my rope is out of commission. Think, Maze Dancer, think! "So you think ponies should just lay down and die whenever they get sick? No wonder your medical license was revoked!" She cautiously began to circle around, keeping a wary eye on Horse Cough as she racked her mind for ideas. "They should endure their suffering. If they survive, their genes are passed to the next generation. If they die, they weren't worth enough time to save." Horse Cough matched her circling, glaring at her through his cold plague mask. "I've explained this so many times, to so many people, yet they continue to attach sentiment to life, continue to set themselves up for desperation and despair when life inevitably ends... This is pointless. You are not worth my time." He turned away and began to walk down the road, silent as the grave. The dismissal so shocked Mistress Mare-Velous that she could only stare for a minute or two. Then she narrowed her eyes. "Hey! Get back here!" Her gaze darted around, landing on an abandoned cart, and with a well placed buck she had a wheel in her hooves. "I'm not done with you yet!" Horse Cough ignored her... right up until the wheel bounced off the back of his head. "AUGH!" He whirled around, the thick black goggles glaring at the masked mare. "Why are you so insistent on fighting me? What do you hope to accomplish? Vengeance? Justice? It is all irrelevant!" His claws gestured at the thick green mist around them. "You cannot stop what has been started, no matter how hard you try!" Mistress Mare-Velous smiled beneath her gas mask. "You're right, I can't do anything to stop the mist. Filli-second, on the other hoof, should be neutralizing it right... about... now." *** "And that is the final hooferang placed!" The filly's facial matrix smiled broadly. "Now it is only a matter of connecting them and channeling my own unique electrolysis magic through the consequent channel so that it is multiplied and projected throughout the city of Gruffington!"(1) Her face flickered into a series of numbers. "It should take me roughly three seconds to accomplish this feat." Then she zipped off, a line of purple light in her wake. *** "What?!" Horse Cough spun around, goggled gaze darting around as a storm of odd flashes pass through the mists. "No... NO! What have you done?!" "We've destroyed the disease you made." Mare-Velous flicked some dust off her shoulder. "It looks like it just wasn't.... strong enough." The mad doctor locked his eyes on her. "You.... How desperate are you?! Don't you know what you face?! I have seen the eyes of the endless, I know, I know what is coming! Only the strong will be able to survive, and if they try to protect the weak they will die!" He pointed a claw at her. "Mark this day, for it is the day that you have doomed this world! The Vengeful Union will not be as merciful as I!" With a sudden twist he smashed a canister against the ground, releasing a cloud of black smoke. Mare-Velous galloped toward him, but it was already too late; by the time the smoke had dissipated, Horse Cough was long gone. "...The Vengful Union?" There's that name again.... first Manehattan,(1) then that spider thing,(2) now here? Mare-Velous shook her head. "What does this Vengeful Union even want? What do they have to do with anything?" "I do not know what you are speaking of, but from the sound of it this Vengeful Union might be quite crucial to understanding current developments!" "GAH!" Mare-Velous whirled about, coming face to facial matrix with Filli-Second. "That's the third time--you really need to warn ponies before you sneak up on them!" Filli-Second had the decency to put on an embaressed expression. "I apologize. I do not mean to frighten. I have your hooferangs!" She held up the golden horseshoes. "They were very useful." The older mare shook her head and chuckled. "No need to apologize, that's just who you are." She took the offered hooferangs and put them in her saddlebags, before turning to her rope with a sigh. "Horse Cough did something to my rope, though... don't know how long it'll take to fix." "Oh! My father is quite intelligent when it comes to enchanted artifacts. Maybe he could assist you in repairing your rope?" "...Your father the professor?" Mare-Velous tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well, I have been meaning to have a word with him...(1) Sure, why not see what he can do? We'll have to pick up Humdrum though, before we head over to your dad's place." She shook her head. "Who knows what crazy antics he's gotten up to without me?" Author's Note (1) Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 40/The Fantastic Filli-Second issue 28 (2) Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 15 (3) Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 37 Special Edition Magic the Gathering Card: Relic InfectionGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Relic Infection 2BB Enchantment — Aura Enchant artifact Enchanted artifact has "At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 2 life." As long as enchanted artifact is an Equipment, it has "Equipped creature gets -2/-2." "Life is not a prerequisite of disease."—Horse Cough The Spectacular Saddle Rager Issue 74: Of Love And Hate Part 1"Love is the fount of all emotion." In the middle of a forest, covered with leaves and overgrown with vines, rested a starcraft. It was not very large, as starcraft went, only about as big as a small house. It was also clear to the outside observer that it would not ever take to the stars again; one of the wings was split in two, and rootlets were already crawling through the holes torn in the hull. And yet, some blinking lights could be seen through the landing ramp, and there was a distinct hum of foreign technology. Whisperwind approached without fear. She had been here many times before, after all. "Joy and Sorrow, Fear and Disgust, Surprise and Anger... all of these and their myriad mixes have their roots dipped in the common pool of love. "Shimar?" The turquoise pegasus trotted up the ramp, looking into a large room lit by bright but flickering tubes. "Are you here?" She dropped her saddlebags by the door, her eyes flicking across the various terminals. The flight controls in the front had been rewired to form an ad hoc detection system, and various capsules of bubbling liquid were hooked up to a monitor on the wall to her left. "So, my young friend, I encourage you to love. If you know the root of emotion, you will better know how to control your own." "Ah, Whisperwind!" A butterfly-like creature waved from the right side of the vessel, plucking up a small dish from the table in front of him and sliding it into a large machine behind him. "Do come in, I was just finishing lunch." His rose-colored wings buzzed as he glided over and nestled in the pegasus's similarly colored mane. "Shimaaaar!" Whisperwind shook her head with a giggle. "Get out of there!" "As you wish, my dear." The butterfly flitted out, hovering over to the capsules on the wall. "Shame, though, it is really comfortable. Tell me, how was your day?" "Oh my gosh, it was amazing! Claypot, well..." The pegasus grinned widely. "Claypot asked me out on a real, actual date this weekend!" "That's the unicorn who knows about your secret identity, isn't it?(1)" "Yeah, he is..." She sighed, slipping into the chair next to the table. "He's just so... nice!" "Mmm." Shimar turned his bulbous green eyes toward her. "I can tell he makes you glow with happiness." Whisperwind let out an embarrassed squeak, glancing at the pale blue light coming from her coat. "Oh! Sorry, sorry, I had it under control earlier--" "Ah, don't fret dear. It's good to see you so happy, after all that you've been through." Shimar turned back to the capsules, his mouthparts arranging into a small smile. "I remember how it was with Clienreas, we were absolutely inseparable. She was a treasure, saw beauty in everything and had enough patiance to bring out the best in even the worst of people." His smile turned into a sly smirk. "And the way her abdomen would wriggle when we went to bed, oh my--" "Sh-Shimar!" Whisperwind shouted with a furious blush. "I don't need to know how your wife looked when you slept together!" "Oh, I'm sorry, I was just caught up in some old memories. Long... enjoyable... intense memories, but old enough I suppose..." Whisperwind shuddered, then let out a little whine. "Awwww... Shimar, you're making me slime up!" She wiped some translucent mucus off her coat with disgust. "You know that it's a self-feeding loop..." "I also know you have to learn not to let other people manipulate your emotions." The butterfly flitted over to the table, landing across from her. "If someone were to spring this on you while you were out and about, you could easily end up causing a problematic situation. We don't want a repeat of the time the Viper Gang attacked the bank(2), do we?" "That wasn't my fault. I've been trying to control my emotions ever since I was infused, Shimar!" Whisperwind bit her lip. "I've gotten a lot better at it too, it's just I... I was relaxed here." "Because you trust me." Shimar sighed. "I suppose I can't really try to dissuade that. Just... I don't want you to stop having emotions, but the more turbulent and random they are the more your powers will randomly trigger. You have to learn to make the transition smoothly, to not let your feelings spike out of control--" Suddenly, the console at the front of the starcraft began beeping. "What in the dickens...?" Shimar fluttered over to the screen. "I've never heard that alarm," Whisperwind commented, standing up. "What does it mean?" The butterfly tapped some buttons. "...No. No, that can't be right!" "Shimar? What's going on?" "How could--? Whisperwind!" Shimar spun around. "You've got to get out of here now! Go back to--" The entire room rocked suddenly, small loose objects flying around as Whisperwind lost her balance. Her eyes went wide as her pupils turned white, the world seeming to slow for a moment. That noise... it's coming from above! Metal claws had pierced the roof and were already tearing large gashes in it, letting rays of light into the room. And through the gashes, a very familar set of eight optics glowed down at her. She gasped. "X-Term N8!" And in that instant time resumed its normal speed. With reflexes trained from months of vigilantism, Whisperwind rolled to the front of the craft, swept Shimar into her mane, and flapped her wings in a powerful thrust out of the vessel. She glanced over her shoulder for a brief second as she flew into the trees. She'd seen the robot before, of course. It hounded her with cold, unerring drive, able to shrug off even her enraged pounding with its thick blue armor. To the eyes of an equestrian, X-Term N8 would appear to be a bipedal, tailless sabre-toothed tiger at first, but there would be oddities even then: a great sparking sphere was caged in open air where the belly should have been. The entire right arm was a complicated, multi-purpose ranged weapon of some sort, one that rarely missed its target. Where there should have been a mouth was instead a paltry collection of pores and speakers, shielded by two thick triangles of metal. And seven small optics were slotted into the position of the left eye, paired with one large heartless disc that focused entirely on her. X-Term N8 bounded off the roof of the vessel, his optics never wavering as he rose his weapon arm. Author's Note (1) The Spectacular Saddle Rager Issue 50 (2) The Spectacular Saddle Rager Issue 37 Special Edition Magic The Gathering Card: Shimar Zentra, the Last VentricianGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Shimar, the Last Ventrician UR Legendary Creature — Insect Advisor Flying At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player exiles the top card of his or her library. That player may play that card this turn. "To know love is to know the root of all emotion, and with it all possibility." 1/1 Masked Matter-Horn Adventures issue 25: FALL OF THE MATTER-HORN!"Move faster!" Shadowlight screeched at his lackies, dusting lint off the sleeves of his white jacket. "If we don't get these gems to Baron Bloodknight before the full moon, our commission is invalidated!" The emaciated unicorn sneered to himself as he turned away, silver glasses gleaming in the dark of the night. "Sometimes I wish I had a more stable collection of associates, these rookies could end my entire business." The ponies carrying the boxes out of the big vault tried their best to speed up their illicit transaction, unaware that they were being watched. From the second floor bridge, a shadowy figure observed them carefully, unmoving, unflinching. Blue eyes traced the criminals as they made their way toward the southern door, narrowing slightly. A quiet hum built up, unnoticed by the ponies below... Suddenly, a beam of power lanced out from the figure's horn! Ice spread across the floor, slipping up the ponies and sending them sprawling as the container fell to the ground. Even as Shadowlight's armed goons whipped out their Managuns(1), the shadowy figure leapt from the bridge and snapped her wings open, zooming toward them and knocking one out with a swift kick to the jaw. She twirled round and snapped an uppercut at another of her foes, the energy in her horn building up once more as she faced the two gang members firing mana bolts at her. A single blast of force knocked them against the wall, and they fell unconscious as they hit the ground. The criminal tycoon smirked as the mare spun to face him, twin blades of shadow and light already in his magical grasp. "I was wondering when you'd come play princess, Matter-Horn. It's been a while since the Chalice fiasco.(2)" "Your reign of crime is at an end, Shadowlight! I will ensure you get locked up for your crimes!" The blades that Shadowlight wielded projected odd patterned on his black face. "Oh, my poor dear Matter-Horn, when will you ever learn? Money is the only true power in this world, and even the legal system bows to it." "There will always be those that will remain true to justice." The mare narrowed her eyes. "Bribery will not solve all your troubles. And today I shall prove it to you!" Once more her horn hummed, a blast of fire shooting out at the unicorn! It was swiftly deflected by the shadowy blade, but the criminal underlord barely had time to respond to Matter-Horn's charge. The sword of light just barely managed to deflect Matter-Horn's silver clad hoof, and Shadowlight spun his darker weapon at her neck. She rolled away from the strike moments before it would have connected, glowering at the emaciated unicorn as her wings flared out. Shadowlight smiled, shaking his head. "Still so eager for vengeance my dear? I would have thought your constant failure to contain my greatness would have wearied you." "On the contrary, professor, all your rule breaking has done is motivate me." The Masked Matter-Horn smirked, pawing at the ground. "I will not rest until you and your ilk are brought to justice." "Tut, tut, princess. So rude." Shadowlight idly twirled his blades. "I suppose you've already alerted the local Guard?" The starlight reflected off his silver glasses as he raised an eyebrow. "No doubt this whole assault is a delaying tactic, meant to keep me here long enough for them to arrive." "It's a shame you haven't put your mind to more legitimate purposes, professor." The heroine narrowed her eyes. "With your intelligence you could easily make the world a better place." "Oh, but I am, my dear." The unicorn tilted his head. "After all, what better purpose do I have then making sure Maretropilis does not fall to corruption and poverty? If I rule the underworld, then I can ensure that the very evils you seek to erase are controlled. I honestly do not see why you will not join me." "Your hypocrisy sickens me," Matter-Horn explained bluntly. "Hypocrisy? I preach that money is power, and I seek to earn that power. But alas, I cannot afford any more time for you." The unicorn nodded to something behind Matter-Horn. "Now, please." She twirled, ready to face the new foe--but a lance of lightning struck out and hit her chestplate, arcing through her and breaking the conduit gems between her horn and armor! In mere moments, she fell battered and bruised to the floor, fighting desperatly to stay awake. A strange clawed foot entered her vision; a thing constructed of alien metal. "TARGET NEUTRALIZED." The newcomer slowly spun an optic toward Shadowlight. "OUR BARGAIN?" "Mmm, yes." A tracking device hovered from the unicorn to the strange machine. "There you are. I can't guarantee you'll find her with that, but it's the best I could obtain." "...SUFFICIENT." Without another word, the robot bounded away. Shadowlight smiled to himself, using his magic to revive his lackies. "Well, that's that then. I have what I came for, X-Term N8 is off hunting its prey, and you... oh, you." He chuckled, kneeling and meeting the eyes of the suffering heroine. "You've failed. And this time, your wondrous little toy was broken. I'd love to examine it for myself, of course, but... well, how could the guards recognize the Masked Matter-Horn without the Matter-Horn itself? Such a notorious criminal, too, stealing these gems...." He shook his head sadly. "You'll... never get away with this." The mare looked up at her foe. "There's too much evidence I was attacked. Too much evidence that--" "Oh you know common criminals," Shadowlight replied smoothly. "They'll turn on each other for the smallest of reasons. Now then, I do believe you need to rest. You have been seriously injured, after all." His hoof descended, and everything went dark. Author's Note (1)First introduced in The Masked Matter-Horn classic series, issue 4. (2)Masked Matter-Horn Adventures issue 17. Special Edition Magic the Gathering Card: Professor ShadowlightGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Professor Shadowlight WUB Legendary Creature — Unicorn Rogue Whenever Professor Shadowlight becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter that spell or ability unless its controller pays X, where X is Professor Shadowlight's power. WB: Professor Shadowlight gets +2/+2 until end of turn. 1/2 "Most people avoid evil and attempt to be good, but it's better to control both." Special Edition Magic The Gathering Card: Virulent HazeGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Virulent Haze 3B Sorcery Creatures of the color of your choice get -2/-2 until end of turn. Purge what's unnecessary, and what remains will be stronger. Special Edition Magic the Gathering Card: Horse CoughGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Horse Cough, Grim Vector 2BB Legendary Creature — Pony Warrior Wither (This creature deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters.) At the beginning of your upkeep, put a -1/-1 counter on each creature with a -1/-1 counter on it. 3/3 "Disease is not meant to be cured, but endured."
Life of Radiance issue 4 story 1: ReunionRadiant Glory trotted down the stairs of her mansion, yawning daintily as she adjusted her bathrobe and nodded at the maid waiting for her. "Good morning, Diamond Cuff. Ah, I see you have today's newspaper, what would I do without you?" "I can't say, ma'am." The white unicorn gave her a sly smile as she levitated the paper over. "I'd wager the cellars would be far more empty, though." Glory peered over the news, her violet eyes giving her personal servant a mock glare. "I don't know what you're referring to, Diamond, and I certainly won't thank you for spreading such nasty rumors." "My apologies, ma'am." "I will, however, once more extend my most sincere thanks for ensuring that those rumors never became true." A warm and genuine smile formed on the millionaire's face. "If it wasn't for you, I'd probably still be drowning my sorrows down there.(1)" "Just doing my duty, ma'am." Diamond Cuff smiled back, the slightest glimmer of sadness in her green eyes. "If you'll excuse me, I need to check the kettle in the kitchen." She curtsied briefly and trotted away, leaving Glory to lounge on an extravagant couch as she read through the day's articles and idly combed her purple mane. A moment passed. "Hmmm?" Radiant Glory peered at the paper. "My, my, this is certainly interesting. Something will have to be done!" With a sudden motion the pale blue unicorn rose, swishing the paper onto the couch. "Diamond!" "Yes ma'am?" The maid peered round the corner. "Is something the matter?" "Quite. An important matter has just come to my attention." Glory hung up her bathrobe with a sigh. "I'm afraid I won't be able to enjoy your wonderful tea this morning." She trotted out the front door, leaving the paper open on a sensationalist headline. MASKED MATTER-HORN ARRESTED FOR ROBBERY The Maretropilis penitentiary was one of the most secure prisons in the world. Guards trained by the legendary Captain Steelbender himself trotted down these halls, their mana batons free and ready to swing at a moment's notice. The west wing was constructed of meter-thick brick walls and impenetrable metal doors, with a closed sewage system that was examined daily and cleaned out weekly and a water system triple filtered before it even reached the cells. The east wing was a large empty space where specialized cells were constructed and placed for the more dangerous of criminals. The north wing, ostensibly, held laboratories devoted to researching the unusual powers that some of the penitentiary's perennial occupants possessed; that it also had a number of war tanks on reserve was a matter usually glossed over. As Radiant Glory's luxury chariot descended onto the southern landing platform, she looked over the fortress and sighed. It was such a shame, in her opinion, that the penitentiary was under the administration of the corrupt Commander Bit Champer. She stepped out onto the pavement, smiling politely at the warden as he trotted up. "A pleasure to see you again, sir." 'If I could toss you in one of these cells my day would be complete,' she added in her own thoughts. "Always nice to see the noveau rich take interest in the handling of our more... undesirable citizens." Bit Champer grinned back with crooked teeth. "I must ask, though, are you absolutely sure about this? Some of the ponies we keep behind bars are quite frightening." "Fret not. I have handled Ouroboros destroying half my mansion.(2) A few madponies behind bars won't ruffle me in the slightest." Glory raised an eyebrow. "Besides which, we won't be headed for the east wing will we?" "Pfeh, no." Bit Champer chuckled grimly as he led her along. "That fake horn of hers is on the fritz. Without it she's nothing more then a pegasus in a slinky suit." He raised an eyebrow, giving the mare a calculating look. "What's your interest in the Matter-Horn anyway? A warden's gotta know these things." "I have long been blessed with wealth," she replied smoothly. "It continues to amaze me how few of those in need approach my estate to ask for help, instead resorting to such desperate acts of thievery. If I can assuage the suffering of such a famous criminal, perhaps others will flock to my abode." "Don't be too hopeful," Bit Champer warned her. "This mare's a quiet one. I figure she'll bite off your hoof soon as you extend it." He levitated the single key from his ring, rotating the prongs into position and inserting it into the lock. "If you need any help, yell." Radient Glory stepped into the cell quickly, looking at the mare who rested on the cot bolted to the floor. "Oh dear. You're quite the mess." She flicked her tail meaningfully at the door. "When I saw the news I almost didn't believe it. The Masked Matter-Horn, resorting to thievery?" The mare rolled her eyes. "I was framed. Not that anybody will believe Shadowlight's behind all this. He's an upstanding citizen." "Hmm, well that is a serious accusation." Glory stepped forward, lifting one of Matter-Horn's hooves and examining it closely. "Why, darling, you are seriously hurt! These burns and bruises, has nopony even looked at them?" "I refused to take off my mask," the pegasus explained. "So they refused to treat me." "Well that simply won't do at all. Commander! Might I ask that you transfer this prisoner to my private hospice?" Bit Champer snorted. "I'm afraid that I--" "I'll pay for the expenses, of course," Glory continued. "--will need some time to organize the paperwork," the guard finished smoothly. "Perhaps we can talk it out in our office?" "That would be excellent, sir." With a final nod at the prisoner, Radiant Glory stepped out into the hall. Author's Note (1) Rapturous Radiance issue 1. (2) Rapturous Radiance issue 32.
Special Edition Magic the Gathering Card: Maretropolis PenitentiaryGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Maretropolis Penitentiary 2WB Enchantment If a creature would die, exile it instead. Pay the mana cost of a card exiled with Maretropolis Penitentiary: Return that card to the battlefield under your control. Any player may activate this ability, but only whenever that player could cast a sorcery. When Maretropolis Penitentiary leaves the battlefield, return each card exiled with it to the battlefield under its owner's control.
Life of Radiance issue 4 story 3: RespiteRadiant Glory smiled politely at the guard as he escorted the Masked Matter-Horn into her new room. "Thank you, darling. You're far too kind." The stallion snorted. "Mare was framed, everypony knows it. Only reason Bit Champer ain't let her go was cause o' the pay he's getting under the table. If Steelbender were here... Maretropolis would be a hay o' a lot different." He tipped his helmet. "Glad ta see that somepony still stands up for the right." The blue unicorn nodded back, her smile now much more genuine. "I take it you'll be checking in once a week?" "I'd do it more often, but the level of paperwork I've got ta get through..." The guard shook his head sadly. "I can only hope you can keep her from causing more trouble, ma'am." "I guarantee she won't be engaging in any criminal activity within these walls." She met his eyes and gave him a warm pat on the shoulder. "Now then, I think you need to report to your commander?" "Aye ma'am." The stallion gave her one last nod and trotted away, leaving her alone with the famed superheroine. The room that they were now in was far nicer then the prison. True, there were bars on the windows, and the door itself was a thick portcullis... but the bed was soft, the connected restroom was clean, and there was a small button on the wall which would ring a chime in the servant's quarters when pressed. "This is an... interesting cell," the Masked Matter-Horn commented, glancing around with some interest. Glory tapped the button with a hoof, smiling. "This is a recovery room for insane, possibly dangerous individuals. All the rooms in the hospice were designed like this, actually." The pegasus on the bed stretched her pink wings. "So, I'm insane and possibly dangerous?" "Perhaps, darling. But for now, all that you definitely are is in need of some medical treatment. Ah, Diamond Cuff!" The millionaire stepped aside, gesturing for the maid to step in. "Your patient awaits." Matter-Horn raised an eyebrow. "I remember you. Didn't you help get that class of foals to safety while I was fighting Mirror Mask?(1)" "Just doing my civic duty, ma'am." Diamond Cuff stepped forward, peering at the pegasus carefully. "Oy, you're a sight. Can I ask you to take off your armor--not your mask, ma'am," she quickly reassured her. For a moment, the pegasus glowered suspiciously at her. Then, with a sigh, she began to disrobe. "I need to examine the thaumatic circuitry anyway..." With the air of an experienced professional, Diamond Cuff ran her hooves over Matter-Horn's coat. She nodded to herself, her own horn glowing with magic. "Mmmhmm. Burns, a bit of muscle strain... were you electrocuted?" "Yes... some strange robot that Shadowlight hired." The millionaire's ears perked on hearing that. "Hired? Not commissioned or built?" "No." Matter-Horn shook her head. "It said something about a bargain and he gave it something to track... someone." Radiant Glory shook her head. "There are precious few machines intelligent enough that they require a trade. Most are highly classified, and those that aren't... did this robot have a name of any kind?" The masked pegasus considered the question. "He called it... exterminate, I think." Diamond Cuff drew a sharp breath. At her employer's curious look, the maid steadied herself. "Some of my old army mates were around when X-Term N8 landed, ma'am. I attended their funeral, talked with the officers... that thing's a real monster." She shuddered. "We're right lucky it's only looking to kill one creature on this world... leastways, that's all it wants right now." Matter-Horn sighed as she looked over her armor. "Well, then, it's best I get a warning out to this poor soul. The machinery in this is fried anyway, I won't be any use out on the street... Glory, you won't mind keeping an eye on Shadowlight for me, will you?" "Maretropolis is as much my home as it is yours," the millionaire replied. "And besides, I have you to thank for my new fashion.(2) Pink works far better on you then it ever did on me though, to be sure, I do love the highlights of the bracelets that you chose to improve." "And the fact that they let you form telekinetic constructs, instead of just letting you climb walls, has nothing to do with it?" "Practicality and elegance go hoof in hoof, darling." Radiant Glory smiled smugly. "Or have you forgotten how you spray painted your horn to match your coat when I met you?" The pegasus pulled her pink wings in and grumbled under her breath, blushing. "I thought it would hide the fact that the horn wasn't real...." "Please darling, it was incredibly obvious to everypony who saw it." The unicorn gave her a sly smirk. "Not to say it didn't make me jealous, though; I daresay a number of mares dreamed of stripping it from your head just for its... beauty." "You're never going to let me live that down, are you...." After a moment she sighed, turning to Diamond Cuff. "You seem to know a lot about this robot. What exactly is it and who is it hunting?" Diamond Cuff shook her head quietly. "...it's a killing machine, far as I know. Meant to kill every last thing on one particular world, only one of those things hopped a rocket ship and landed here before X-Term N8 got to it. I don't know how or why, but it infused its DNA into a mare that it found." She scuffed her hoof across the floor for a moment. Then she looked the Masked Matter-Horn in the eye. "You might know her as the Saddle Rager." Author's Note (1) Masked Matter-Horn Adventures issue 20. (2) Radiance Classic series, issue 37.
Special Edition Magic the Gathering Card: ConvalesceGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Convalesce W Instant You gain 3 life. If you have 10 life or less, you gain 6 life instead. "In the worst of times, the smallest of things can be the most important." --Diamond Cuff
Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 37: EVIL ALIGNED!A costumed pony on a windy rock face narrowed her eyes as she jammed her enchanted hoofspur into the wall, pulling herself up and looking around. I know I saw him come through here.... and even if I miss him, I have Humdrum keeping a lookout from the Maremobile. She rolled her eyes. Stupid name. Who thought that up? Oh well, we're stuck with it now. With a final heave, she pulled herself up onto a ledge, eyes darting around... and just managed to roll away from the fireball, smirking beneath her mask as she snapped her golden eyes toward her opponent. "Looks like you're burning your candle at both ends, Ifrit!" "KAhahaHAHAHAha!" The muscular figure of flame twirled about in midair, grabbing a spur of rock in one thick hand as the flickering tongues of his eyes sparked in horrible glee. "You underestimate me, Mistress! I'D JUST MELT THE CANDLE!" He pulled the super-heated stone off the mountain face and threw it at the heroine. Mare-velous sidestepped the improvised javelin, narrowing her eyes at the fiery spirit whisking through the air. "What are you even doing here, hotshot?" Keep him distracted. "There's nopony up on this mountain for you to burn!" If I throw a hooferang at him and snap out with my lasso at the same time... "Mindless destruction might be my favorite game, Mistress, but even I must bow to practicality on occasion." Ifrit tapped his chest. "Alas, my sojourn into the mortal world this time comes with its chains. The one who summoned me was fearful of my destruction, and so I found a message to meet my master here." He tilted his head. "You wouldn't happen to have my bottle on you, little circus girl? That would be quite ironic." The red mare narrowed her eyes. "No... Not this time. I've learned from the museum incident.(1) I'm not your summoner." Darn it. I'm going to need to find whoever summoned him and get them to cap the bottle... if they're not dead. "Course, I'd like to have a few words with whatever idiot decided you'd be a capable ally." Ifrit giggled as he rolled through the air. "Of course you would. And I'd like to burn you to a crisp!" He released a sudden shockwave of fire, Mare-velous barely managing to slip behind the very spur of rock that had been thrown at her earlier and avoid being turned to ash. "Yet you continue to deny me that, so I must continue to deny you access to my current master, whoever they may be." "I believe I requested you leave the mountain standing," hissed a strange voice. "I did not set you free to level this rubble." Mistress Mare-velous boggled as a strange, green-black spidery scorpion-like creature clambered up the cliff face, Ifrit's familiar purple bottle clenched in one of its pincers. Its four glowering eyes shifted from the fire spirit to the pony; thick hairy fangs rattled in annoyance as its stinger swayed from side to side. "My apologies, master. The circus girl found me, and I had assumed you would be opposed to her intruding on our meeting." Ifrit bowed. "Considerate. But unnecessary. She will be dead soon enough." The spider-like creature slung a leg at Mare-velous to knock her off the mountain face. The masked heroine rolled with the swing, grabbing on and climbing up the thick limb up to the shoulder, which prompted a swipe with another limb. A snap of her rope and she'd managed to lasso the attacking pincer, earning an aggravated hiss as she swung onto the creature's head. "Sorry, bug boy, but I'm not going to let anypony or anything set Ifrit on the world! Now cap that bottle!" "I see why Zapp admires you primitives," the creature growled. "Anything as disrespectful as you she'd get along with well. But I will see her duties performed!" The thing's stinger shot out, Mare-velous barely dodging the large barb and slipping off the head of the beast; she quickly found herself under the monstrous fangs, there was a brief pinch, and suddenly everything went fuzzy. The creature backed off, ignoring her. "There. Unless anyone in a fifty mile radius has the antidote for Chlrkxen venom she's going to die. Now then, slave, I will need you to do a few very precise things." Mistress Mare-velous fought to keep her eyes open as weariness pumped through her veins, watching the conversation taking place before her. Ifrit spared her a glance. "Precise is not my speciality, master. I prefer destruction." "Worry not, slave. As soon as my plan is in motion, you'll have more destruction then you could ever handle at your hands." The spidery thing waved a pincer, walking along the mountain trail. "And after that, I am most certain the Vengeful Union could find places in need of your unique services. Follow." The heroine lifted her head, trying desperately to focus on the leaving figures. Vengeful union... what? I remember hearing about them... somewhere in Manehattan...(2) Then she blacked out. Moments later, a blue dragon clambered up the rock face. "Mare-velous, I saw Ifrit and some strange bug heading--oh no." He leapt across the rocks, worry in his violet eyes as his cape fluttered behind him. He pressed his ear against her chest. "Still alive, but your heartbeat's slowing." He looked around as he hefted the unconscious pony over his shoulder. "Don't worry, Maze Dancer, I haven't let you down yet...." He gazed down through the mists, his eyes narrowing as he caught sight of a small village at the base of the mountain. "And I'm not going to let you die here." Author's Note (1) Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 24 (2) Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 15
Special Edition Magic the Gathering Card: IfritGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Ifrit, Living Inferno 3RR Legendary Creature — Efreet Trample Ifrit, Living Inferno attacks each turn if able and damage that would be dealt by it can't be prevented. Whenever Ifrit deals combat damage to a player, it deals that much damage to each other player. 5/5 "The problem with being an ancient intelligence is that everyone asks me stupid questions. Fortunately I'm made of fire."
Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 39: Prophecy of the Pendant"Are you sure she'll be alright?" Humdrum glanced from peered fretfully at Mistress Mare-velous's unconscious form. "Be at peace, my scaly com....patriot." The elderly ram smiled at his worrying, adjusting the odd chain of bones and claws round his neck. "It is clear that you and... this mare share a bond deeper than most." He took a deep breath. "We are used to purg...ing poisons in this town." His milky white eyes drifted toward the bed as the pony took a deep breath. "Ah, see? She is wake...ing." Mare-velous shook her head as she blinked awake, glancing around the humble cabin. "Uuuugh. Where am I? Humdrum?" "You're okay! Oh thank the fates.... I had to carry you down the mountain and fight off the Birdy Bludgers!(1)" The blue dragon rushed over, hugging the heroine tightly. "Heh, thanks. That's... what, the ninth time you saved my life?" She nuzzled her companion with a smile. "I owe you, buddy." "Eh, all I did was get you down here so that this fellow could help out." Humdrum stood aside, waving toward the elderly ram. "I mean, at first I thought he was just some old kook but, well, after some of the other locals pointed me back to him--" The heroine's eyes widened when she saw the ram, and she jumped off the cot only to land in a defensive position. "You! I thought I'd seen the last of---gah!" Her breath hitched as she slumped down on one knee. "Careful, young miss." The ram smiled, meandering over to a dresser, searching for something inn its drawers. "The poi...son in your body is not yet fully purged. Such ener...getic actions will only spread it again." Humdrum raised an eyecrest. "Uh.... do you two know each other?" "He was the ram with the Plated Portent!(2) The one that helped him steal the--" "Pendant of Peril?" The ram smiled, producing a small amulet on a golden chain. "As though I would... let such a fool handle a dangerous art...ifact, let alone keep it." He sighed, placing the mystic totem upon the dresser. "I could not stop him from steal...ing it; an old ram has little chance against... animate armor. But I knew to wait until the opportune... moment. While you fought Portent, I gave it to a friend... and the armor thought I, being old, had dropped it somewhere and forgotten. By the time he real...ized our ploy, my friend had returned home, and the Pendant has been here ever since." Mare-velous narrowed her eyes. "And you haven't returned it to the museum... why?" The elderly ram sighed. "The pendant can summon peril, but... it can also sense it. Though I intended to... return it immediately, it granted me a horr...ible vision. Disparate evils uniting for a... terrible cause. I had thought that keeping it secret could... prevent such catasrophe." "Yeah, that's probably not going to work out. Seeing as Ifrit is in the employ of that weird scorpion spider... thing.(3)" She snorted derisively. Brilliant description there. "What kind of demon was that anyway?" "No demon, my child, but a beast... from the stars." The ram turned toward the fireplace, watching the cackling flames as his face was wreathed in shadow. "Long ago, another such creature came here... to fight something even worse. Though it won, it cared not... for the glory or thanks of us primitives. It left without a care. Only a few... know that now, and fewer still..." "...Fewer still... what?" "It is nothing, I hope." The ram turned around with a grim smile. "But in any case, you could do far more without that particular worry. I am... certain you have other things you will need to do." Humdrum crossed his arms. "You know, the mysterious old guy schtick isn't really helping us trust you. I mean, we're grateful and all that you saved her life, but--" "You may take the pendant." "...what?" "What's with the change of tune?" Mare-velous asked, cautiously edging toward the amulet. "Simply a gesture of trust. To show that I... will not use it." The ram turned back to his fireplace. "There is a train station in the town. It connects to Gruffington City. Can you... make your way from there?" "...I suppose." The heroine carefully took the amulet and slipped it into her saddlebags, keeping her eyes on the ram. Something is definitely wrong with that guy. "Did your vision mention anything about a Vengeful Union?" "...a beneficiary, but not the cause. Still, if you can seek out any...pony that knows of them, perhaps you might prevent such a disaster. The train leaves in... fifteen minutes, and the poison will be purged from your system in... half an hour. You may want to find an outhouse." Ugh. "Thanks for the tip..." Mistress Mare-velous gave him a lingering look. Then she turned and walked out the door. Humdrum walked quickly after her, quickly matching her pace and taking a position by her side. "So, uh... are we going to turn that guy in to the cops?" "For what, stealing the pendant?" Mare-velous sighed. "You heard him, he was an unwilling accomplice, and he certainly understood the danger of the thing. If the Plated Portent can't find him here, neither can any other big-time crook looking for an old mystic's help. Maybe later, when whatever this mysterious vision he had is about has passed." She took a breath and stepped up to the ticket booth. "For now, let's just get to Gruffington. Maybe we can figure out what the heck Ifrit's new master is in one of their libraries." Author's Note (1) Mistress Mare-Velous and Humdrum issue 38 (2) Mistress Mare-Velous and Humdrum issue 25 (3) Mistress Mare-Velous and Humdrum issue 37
Special Edition Magic The Gathering Card: ExpurgationistGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Expurgationist 2B Creature — Goat Shaman T, Pay 1 life: Regenerate target creature. 1/3 "Death is inevitable. All I can do is delay the process, stave off early endings. For some, it is enough."
Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 40/The Fantastic Filli-Second issue 28: Deadly Mists!"Gruffington," Mare-velous snorted as she stepped off the train. "Remember the last time we were here, Humdrum?" "How could I ever forget?" The young dragon glowered at the city around him. "At least Vanglorium isn't here this time.(1) I'm looking forward to a nice, calm look through the library shelves. Maybe sitting down for a meal." "Yeah, after all that's happened I think we deserve a bit of a rest." Mare-velous rolled her shoulders. "How about we find a restaurant and ask one of the locals for directions?" Humdrum grinned. "Sounds like a plan to me." The two of them trotted down the street. But unbeknownst to them, a sinister plot was already in progress... Weak. The stallion passed over the unconscious unicorn mare, his coarse cape brushing her cheek as he opened the stairwell door and stalked up to the roof. All weak. Sunlight reflected off the thick black lenses of his bone white mask as he emerged into the day. Must be purged. He slung the thick rocket off his back, planting it firmly in front of him and running the blackened claws of his gloves over the small compartments strapped onto it. Only the strong remain. With a final nod of satisfaction, the stallion pulled out a match and lit the fuse. He turned and headed back down the stairs, not reacting to the sound of the explosion at all. He did not glance out the window as he passed it; he knew that the spinning disks were already spreading their twisting greenish fog as they spun out and down to the earth. He considered the unconscious mare for a moment, when he came back to her prone form. Then he stalked on. She would be dead soon enough. Meanwhile, elsewhere in Gruffington... "We're going to have to remember this place," Humdrum said with a smirk, biting into his gem sandwich. Mare-velous glanced around. "Actually, I think I do remember this place. This is the building that Vanglorium was threatening right before you threw that rock at his head." "...oh yeah! Wow, what are the odds?" "It's not as odd as you expect," a passing waitress said with a smile. "We were so grateful for how you saved us... well, we did some research and added a few things to the menu in case you came back." Humdrum grinned back, inclining his head. "All part of the job, ma'am." Mare-velous smiled and rolled her eyes. Flirt... "Actually, ma'am, we were hoping to find a library around here. Do you know of any around?" "Well... the public library is always open, of course, but if you can't find what you need there you might want to consult Professor Digit. He's a little bit kooky, but the man is a genius. Heck, while you were busy fighting Vanglorium, he and his daughter worked together to get the citizens of Gruffington out of harm's way!(2)" The heroine winced. "Wow. I should have thought of that." "Don't worry, they understood what you were doing--" A white disk suddenly smashed through the window of the restaurant, greenish mist spewing out as it skidded across the ground. "EVERYPONY DOWN NOW!" Mare-velous tackled the waitress to the ground, psychically directing her lasso around the disk and flinging it back out the window. Please don't be a bomb please don't be a bomb... Humdrum was already pulling the tablecloth off and throwing it over the gas that had managed to escape before she threw it out. "What is this stuff?!" the waitress cried, staring in horror at the faint trail of green. "Whatever it is, it's dissipating rapidly." Mistress Mare-velous let out a relieved breath, slowly standing. No explosion. Yet. She grabbed another tablecloth. "Could you head to the back room and get some duct tape? We need to cover the hole in the window. Humdrum--" The dragon tossed her a black object with an elastic band. "...always a step ahead." She grinned, donning the muzzle-covering gas mask. "I'm going to go out and see what the situation is." Thank the spirits that I took those ventriloquist lessons back in the circus. "I'll be back when I've figured out what the hay is going on." As Mistress Mare-velous stepped out, it became clear that the incident was not at all isolated. She could see various disks ricocheting down off the walls of Gruffington's buildings, the twisting mist slowly enveloping everything in a sickly green fog. Her eyes narrowed as she tracked the path of one of the highest disks. It came from around the center of the city... where the skyscrapers are. If only I knew what this gas was... She glanced back at the restaurant. "Excuse me, miss! Do you think that professor you mentioned would know what this stuff is?" "If he doesn't, his daughter will!" The waitress ran behind the counter, pulling something out and pressing it. "She gave us this after we were mugged by the Blue Coven(3), it'll call her right here!" "I'm not sure I can wait that long!" "Well then," piped up a new voice, "it is quite fortuitous that I have arrived already!" Mistress Mare-velous snapped her gaze around, blinking in astonishment. The entity before her almost looked like a filly in a skin-tight white suit... only the suit was apparently completely empty. Purple lines zigged and zagged in and around the material, and constant bolts of similarly colored electrical power collected into a chaotic simulcram of mane and tail. Strangest of all, though, was the face, a wireframe of glimmering energy that smiled up at her with big, eager eye outlines. ....what. "You're... the professor's... daughter." "Affirmative! Well, to be precise, that is the term we acknowledge as most accurate." The electrical face flickered into a frown. "Father is responsible for the construction of my core computer system, at any rate. My appropriation is Functional Intelligence for Logical Logkeeper Interface 2.0, but it is much more efficient to refer to me as Filli-Second." "I'll remember that..." Mare-velous managed, before shaking her head. "But first thing's first. Do you know what this stuff is?" "I will require a sample for analysis, but the attack is consistent with the patterns of Horse Cough." Filli-Second's mane flared for a moment, burning away some of the green mist. "In all probability this is an aerosolized bacterium or virus that he engineered with the intent of culling unacceptable deviants from a prescribed norm." "I take it this isn't the first time he's tried this." "Records state this is the ninth such occurrence." The wireframe face flickered into a worried expression. "However, none of the previous incidents covered as large a territory." The earth pony nodded. "Right. We need to get rid of this mist, then, and fast. Your... electric mane thing, it just burned it away. How big can you make that?" "That effect is localized to within one hundred thirty centimeters, with effectiveness decreasing as speed increases." Without warning, Filli-second's face shifted into a jumble of symbols before reforming into a lip-biting frown. "Even at optimal speeds I would not be able to purge the city for two hours. It might be possible to generate a mass electrolysis but I would require grounding points--" Mistress Mare-velous pulled out her hooferangs. "Would these do?" Filli-Second stared at them for a moment. "...thaumatically attuned horseshoes with earthbound and lifeseek runes carved into the surface?" "...I just call 'em hooferangs." "Hmmm. Yes. Yes, if I induce conductivity within the metal and form a magic power feedback matrix over the city the runic patterns could be channeled into the air and force the infection underground!" The filly-like entity hopped up and down with a bright smile. "This could work! May I have your permission to utilize--?" "You don't even need to ask, Filli." The older heroine hoofed them over. "Bring 'em back when you're--" One second she was there, and the next there was only a fading line of light. "...done. Huh." Author's Note (1) Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 20 (2) The Fantastic Filli-Second issue 8 (3) The Fantastic Filli-Second issue 12
The Fantastic Filli-Second issue 29/Mistress Mare-Velous and Humdrum Issue 41: A Diseased MindThe empty road was suddenly home to a purple streak of light. Just as suddenly as it appeared, it was gone. Filli-second zipped down the familiar streets, whisking left and right around ponies and other obstacles in her way. Placing the groundwork for her plan was of the utmost importance; a map of Gruffington formed over her vision, a small pinging dot marking her position. It was the work of nanoseconds to plot out a path to the outer-most corner of the town, though it took her a few minutes to properly attach her spellwork to the hooferang. "Greetings mister Gnarlwood!" She waved at the old stallion sitting in his rocking chair on the back porch. "I apologize but the utilization of your private property is essential to the neutralization of a biological threat currently propagating throughout the town. Might I impose on you to ensure this artifact remains undisturbed?" After a moment, Gnarlwood snored. "Excellent. Farewell!" And with another flash, Filli-second was gone. *** Who designed this city, Pike Lasso? Mistress Mare-velous was galloping down the roads of Gruffington, her eyes still on the skyscraper she'd figured the disks had been launched from. She was somewhat hampered by the five-way intersections and numerous dead-ends she kept running into. To hay with it, I'm going roof-hopping. Once more her circus training proved useful as she scaled a brick wall with her spurs in mere minutes. The very moment she was on the roof she summoned her mystic rope, wrapping it tightly around a stovepipe next to her and a gargoyle on the next building. Three cartwheels later she was across the tightrope, already untying the rope with her mind and looking for her next targets. Mare-Velous looked up at her destination as her rope psychically anchored itself on another two rooftop protrusions. Even if this Horse Cough is still there, I don't have any idea what he looks like or how he thinks... "Dang it, I should have asked Filli-second!" "What inquiry should you have asked me?" The earthpony nearly jumped off her rope, but managed to turn it into a full grip and swirl to regain her hoofing. "That's the second time you've snuck up on me!" "It is hard to locate an object moving at such a fast velocity as to avoid registering with optic nerves," Filli-second amicably pointed out. "I was wondering if you might have surplus hooferangs? The amount I currently possess is not enough to anchor a magical effect throughout the whole city." "Sure, I always carry a spare set!" Mare-velous tossed the energy being some more golden horseshoes. "Learned to do that after I ran out in Nickeragua.(1) While you're here, though, could you tell me what Horse Cough looks like?" "Well..." *** A guard pony screamed and fell as the red welts on his face grew green. "He utilizes clawed gloves and boots, laces with various diseases." The guard's partner managed to block a swipe with his spear, but from his panting he was clearly exhausted. "Also, he wears a coarse, black cape and a wide-brimmed black hat." The criminal grabbed the spear and shoved the guard back, quickly reaching into a pocket and tossing something. "The surgeon's uniform under those are black scrubs, with bandoleers of poison grenades..." And Horse Cough watched calmly as the guard succumbed to a coughing fit in a green mist. "But the plague mask he wears, it's white. Bone white." *** "Huh." Mare-velous raised an eyebrow. "Not a subtle fellow then." "Negative. Horse Cough is egotistical to a sociopathic extreme." Filli-second's face flickered. "Please excuse me, I must place the other anchors for the spell matrix." In a flash, she was gone again. Focused little filly, isn't she... Mare-velous shook her head, finishing her trek across the rope. Well, at least now I know what to look for. And once more her rope flew through the air on its own. *** "But miss Glitterhorn, the positioning of this artifact is a crucial component in countering the horrific action of the criminal Horse Cough!" Filli-Second pouted up at the mare wearing a fluffy bathrobe. "It is imperative that you allow me to place it in your courtyard lest an undesirable fate befalls all of Gruffington!" "The last time I allowed you to 'help the city' with my property, my swimming pool was emptied into my bedroom.(2)" Glitterhorn turned up her nose. "I simply do not have time for your childish pranks." "I assure you that no alteration to your property will occur as a result of this incident. But I desperately require this!" The wireframe face flickered into a soulful stare. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?" "No means no, young... filly." The unicorn trotted away, waving at her butler. "If you see this one put that thing down anywhere, I want you to take it out and throw it over the fence." The butler nodded. "Yes ma'am." As soon as his employer was inside, he shut his eyes. Filli-Second tilted her head. "What are you doing?" "Just enjoying the sun on my coat, ma'am." "And the shutting of your eyelids assists in the enjoyment?" "Just so, ma'am." The young heroine stared at him. "...I had assumed that the eyelids would block photons from reaching the retina of your eye, which in turn would render your sight nonexistent." "That is correct ma'am." "But miss Glitterhorn requested that you throw out this hooferang if you see me place it anywhere on her property. How can you conduct your duties if... you are unable..." Filli-second's face flickered. "Therein lies the question, ma'am," the butler replied, eyes still closed. "...Oooooooooooh." *** Mare-Velous ran down the wall, galloping to a standstill in front of a stallion in a bone-white mask. "Horse Cough, I assume?" The black cape fluttered in the green mist as he turned, slowly, to face her. A pale white mask regarded her calmly. "You have a filter." "And you do too." Mistress Mare-Velous inclined her head. "What's your point?" For a moment he was silent. Then, all of the sudden, he lunged. Author's Note (1) Mistress Mare-Velous Classic Series issue 20 (2) The Fantastic Filli-Second issue 24
The Fantastic Filli-Second issue 30/Mistress Mare-Velous issue 42: Plague of PerilMistress Mare-Velous dodged the mad doctor with reflexes trained from years of circus training and even further years of crime fighting. "I'm sorry, doctor, but I don't think my insurance covers this sort of medicine!" she quipped, rolling around as she summoned her rope with her mind. "In fact, I have half a mind to sue you for malpractice!" The golden twine shot toward Horse Cough, wrapping around a rear hoof and tugging sharply. The stallion sneered, rolling into the sudden imbalance and swiping at the rope with his claws. "Spare me your paltry jokes!" Mare-velous let out a cry as the rope's glow withered into an eerie green shade, the pain lancing through her mind almost enough to distract her from the pony once more swiping at her. "You are as pathetic and vile as any other denizen of these streets!" Even through her sudden headache, Mare-Velous was able to roll out of the way of the claws. Psychic link, hurt the rope, hurt me... "Oh I don't know, doc, I've kept up a strict training regimen!" She slipped under anther swipe and slammed her forehooves into his side. "I've fit as a fiddle!" "GRUNGH!" Horse Cough's cloak twirled as he slid across the road, finally gaining purchase mere inches from the sidewalk. "Then you deny the truth of things. The strong survive! The weak perish! That is the way of nature!" His claws cut through a metal mailbox, and he swiftly bucked it at the mare. "Ponykind has perverted the order of the world!" Mare-Velous slipped sideways, just barely dodging the heavy hunk of metal sent at her. Okay, so I need to avoid those claws, Filli-Second has my hooferangs, and my rope is out of commission. Think, Maze Dancer, think! "So you think ponies should just lay down and die whenever they get sick? No wonder your medical license was revoked!" She cautiously began to circle around, keeping a wary eye on Horse Cough as she racked her mind for ideas. "They should endure their suffering. If they survive, their genes are passed to the next generation. If they die, they weren't worth enough time to save." Horse Cough matched her circling, glaring at her through his cold plague mask. "I've explained this so many times, to so many people, yet they continue to attach sentiment to life, continue to set themselves up for desperation and despair when life inevitably ends... This is pointless. You are not worth my time." He turned away and began to walk down the road, silent as the grave. The dismissal so shocked Mistress Mare-Velous that she could only stare for a minute or two. Then she narrowed her eyes. "Hey! Get back here!" Her gaze darted around, landing on an abandoned cart, and with a well placed buck she had a wheel in her hooves. "I'm not done with you yet!" Horse Cough ignored her... right up until the wheel bounced off the back of his head. "AUGH!" He whirled around, the thick black goggles glaring at the masked mare. "Why are you so insistent on fighting me? What do you hope to accomplish? Vengeance? Justice? It is all irrelevant!" His claws gestured at the thick green mist around them. "You cannot stop what has been started, no matter how hard you try!" Mistress Mare-Velous smiled beneath her gas mask. "You're right, I can't do anything to stop the mist. Filli-second, on the other hoof, should be neutralizing it right... about... now." *** "And that is the final hooferang placed!" The filly's facial matrix smiled broadly. "Now it is only a matter of connecting them and channeling my own unique electrolysis magic through the consequent channel so that it is multiplied and projected throughout the city of Gruffington!"(1) Her face flickered into a series of numbers. "It should take me roughly three seconds to accomplish this feat." Then she zipped off, a line of purple light in her wake. *** "What?!" Horse Cough spun around, goggled gaze darting around as a storm of odd flashes pass through the mists. "No... NO! What have you done?!" "We've destroyed the disease you made." Mare-Velous flicked some dust off her shoulder. "It looks like it just wasn't.... strong enough." The mad doctor locked his eyes on her. "You.... How desperate are you?! Don't you know what you face?! I have seen the eyes of the endless, I know, I know what is coming! Only the strong will be able to survive, and if they try to protect the weak they will die!" He pointed a claw at her. "Mark this day, for it is the day that you have doomed this world! The Vengeful Union will not be as merciful as I!" With a sudden twist he smashed a canister against the ground, releasing a cloud of black smoke. Mare-Velous galloped toward him, but it was already too late; by the time the smoke had dissipated, Horse Cough was long gone. "...The Vengful Union?" There's that name again.... first Manehattan,(1) then that spider thing,(2) now here? Mare-Velous shook her head. "What does this Vengeful Union even want? What do they have to do with anything?" "I do not know what you are speaking of, but from the sound of it this Vengeful Union might be quite crucial to understanding current developments!" "GAH!" Mare-Velous whirled about, coming face to facial matrix with Filli-Second. "That's the third time--you really need to warn ponies before you sneak up on them!" Filli-Second had the decency to put on an embaressed expression. "I apologize. I do not mean to frighten. I have your hooferangs!" She held up the golden horseshoes. "They were very useful." The older mare shook her head and chuckled. "No need to apologize, that's just who you are." She took the offered hooferangs and put them in her saddlebags, before turning to her rope with a sigh. "Horse Cough did something to my rope, though... don't know how long it'll take to fix." "Oh! My father is quite intelligent when it comes to enchanted artifacts. Maybe he could assist you in repairing your rope?" "...Your father the professor?" Mare-Velous tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well, I have been meaning to have a word with him...(1) Sure, why not see what he can do? We'll have to pick up Humdrum though, before we head over to your dad's place." She shook her head. "Who knows what crazy antics he's gotten up to without me?" Author's Note (1) Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 40/The Fantastic Filli-Second issue 28 (2) Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 15 (3) Mistress Mare-velous and Humdrum issue 37
Special Edition Magic the Gathering Card: Relic InfectionGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Relic Infection 2BB Enchantment — Aura Enchant artifact Enchanted artifact has "At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 2 life." As long as enchanted artifact is an Equipment, it has "Equipped creature gets -2/-2." "Life is not a prerequisite of disease."—Horse Cough
The Spectacular Saddle Rager Issue 74: Of Love And Hate Part 1"Love is the fount of all emotion." In the middle of a forest, covered with leaves and overgrown with vines, rested a starcraft. It was not very large, as starcraft went, only about as big as a small house. It was also clear to the outside observer that it would not ever take to the stars again; one of the wings was split in two, and rootlets were already crawling through the holes torn in the hull. And yet, some blinking lights could be seen through the landing ramp, and there was a distinct hum of foreign technology. Whisperwind approached without fear. She had been here many times before, after all. "Joy and Sorrow, Fear and Disgust, Surprise and Anger... all of these and their myriad mixes have their roots dipped in the common pool of love. "Shimar?" The turquoise pegasus trotted up the ramp, looking into a large room lit by bright but flickering tubes. "Are you here?" She dropped her saddlebags by the door, her eyes flicking across the various terminals. The flight controls in the front had been rewired to form an ad hoc detection system, and various capsules of bubbling liquid were hooked up to a monitor on the wall to her left. "So, my young friend, I encourage you to love. If you know the root of emotion, you will better know how to control your own." "Ah, Whisperwind!" A butterfly-like creature waved from the right side of the vessel, plucking up a small dish from the table in front of him and sliding it into a large machine behind him. "Do come in, I was just finishing lunch." His rose-colored wings buzzed as he glided over and nestled in the pegasus's similarly colored mane. "Shimaaaar!" Whisperwind shook her head with a giggle. "Get out of there!" "As you wish, my dear." The butterfly flitted out, hovering over to the capsules on the wall. "Shame, though, it is really comfortable. Tell me, how was your day?" "Oh my gosh, it was amazing! Claypot, well..." The pegasus grinned widely. "Claypot asked me out on a real, actual date this weekend!" "That's the unicorn who knows about your secret identity, isn't it?(1)" "Yeah, he is..." She sighed, slipping into the chair next to the table. "He's just so... nice!" "Mmm." Shimar turned his bulbous green eyes toward her. "I can tell he makes you glow with happiness." Whisperwind let out an embarrassed squeak, glancing at the pale blue light coming from her coat. "Oh! Sorry, sorry, I had it under control earlier--" "Ah, don't fret dear. It's good to see you so happy, after all that you've been through." Shimar turned back to the capsules, his mouthparts arranging into a small smile. "I remember how it was with Clienreas, we were absolutely inseparable. She was a treasure, saw beauty in everything and had enough patiance to bring out the best in even the worst of people." His smile turned into a sly smirk. "And the way her abdomen would wriggle when we went to bed, oh my--" "Sh-Shimar!" Whisperwind shouted with a furious blush. "I don't need to know how your wife looked when you slept together!" "Oh, I'm sorry, I was just caught up in some old memories. Long... enjoyable... intense memories, but old enough I suppose..." Whisperwind shuddered, then let out a little whine. "Awwww... Shimar, you're making me slime up!" She wiped some translucent mucus off her coat with disgust. "You know that it's a self-feeding loop..." "I also know you have to learn not to let other people manipulate your emotions." The butterfly flitted over to the table, landing across from her. "If someone were to spring this on you while you were out and about, you could easily end up causing a problematic situation. We don't want a repeat of the time the Viper Gang attacked the bank(2), do we?" "That wasn't my fault. I've been trying to control my emotions ever since I was infused, Shimar!" Whisperwind bit her lip. "I've gotten a lot better at it too, it's just I... I was relaxed here." "Because you trust me." Shimar sighed. "I suppose I can't really try to dissuade that. Just... I don't want you to stop having emotions, but the more turbulent and random they are the more your powers will randomly trigger. You have to learn to make the transition smoothly, to not let your feelings spike out of control--" Suddenly, the console at the front of the starcraft began beeping. "What in the dickens...?" Shimar fluttered over to the screen. "I've never heard that alarm," Whisperwind commented, standing up. "What does it mean?" The butterfly tapped some buttons. "...No. No, that can't be right!" "Shimar? What's going on?" "How could--? Whisperwind!" Shimar spun around. "You've got to get out of here now! Go back to--" The entire room rocked suddenly, small loose objects flying around as Whisperwind lost her balance. Her eyes went wide as her pupils turned white, the world seeming to slow for a moment. That noise... it's coming from above! Metal claws had pierced the roof and were already tearing large gashes in it, letting rays of light into the room. And through the gashes, a very familar set of eight optics glowed down at her. She gasped. "X-Term N8!" And in that instant time resumed its normal speed. With reflexes trained from months of vigilantism, Whisperwind rolled to the front of the craft, swept Shimar into her mane, and flapped her wings in a powerful thrust out of the vessel. She glanced over her shoulder for a brief second as she flew into the trees. She'd seen the robot before, of course. It hounded her with cold, unerring drive, able to shrug off even her enraged pounding with its thick blue armor. To the eyes of an equestrian, X-Term N8 would appear to be a bipedal, tailless sabre-toothed tiger at first, but there would be oddities even then: a great sparking sphere was caged in open air where the belly should have been. The entire right arm was a complicated, multi-purpose ranged weapon of some sort, one that rarely missed its target. Where there should have been a mouth was instead a paltry collection of pores and speakers, shielded by two thick triangles of metal. And seven small optics were slotted into the position of the left eye, paired with one large heartless disc that focused entirely on her. X-Term N8 bounded off the roof of the vessel, his optics never wavering as he rose his weapon arm. Author's Note (1) The Spectacular Saddle Rager Issue 50 (2) The Spectacular Saddle Rager Issue 37
Special Edition Magic The Gathering Card: Shimar Zentra, the Last VentricianGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Shimar, the Last Ventrician UR Legendary Creature — Insect Advisor Flying At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player exiles the top card of his or her library. That player may play that card this turn. "To know love is to know the root of all emotion, and with it all possibility." 1/1
Masked Matter-Horn Adventures issue 25: FALL OF THE MATTER-HORN!"Move faster!" Shadowlight screeched at his lackies, dusting lint off the sleeves of his white jacket. "If we don't get these gems to Baron Bloodknight before the full moon, our commission is invalidated!" The emaciated unicorn sneered to himself as he turned away, silver glasses gleaming in the dark of the night. "Sometimes I wish I had a more stable collection of associates, these rookies could end my entire business." The ponies carrying the boxes out of the big vault tried their best to speed up their illicit transaction, unaware that they were being watched. From the second floor bridge, a shadowy figure observed them carefully, unmoving, unflinching. Blue eyes traced the criminals as they made their way toward the southern door, narrowing slightly. A quiet hum built up, unnoticed by the ponies below... Suddenly, a beam of power lanced out from the figure's horn! Ice spread across the floor, slipping up the ponies and sending them sprawling as the container fell to the ground. Even as Shadowlight's armed goons whipped out their Managuns(1), the shadowy figure leapt from the bridge and snapped her wings open, zooming toward them and knocking one out with a swift kick to the jaw. She twirled round and snapped an uppercut at another of her foes, the energy in her horn building up once more as she faced the two gang members firing mana bolts at her. A single blast of force knocked them against the wall, and they fell unconscious as they hit the ground. The criminal tycoon smirked as the mare spun to face him, twin blades of shadow and light already in his magical grasp. "I was wondering when you'd come play princess, Matter-Horn. It's been a while since the Chalice fiasco.(2)" "Your reign of crime is at an end, Shadowlight! I will ensure you get locked up for your crimes!" The blades that Shadowlight wielded projected odd patterned on his black face. "Oh, my poor dear Matter-Horn, when will you ever learn? Money is the only true power in this world, and even the legal system bows to it." "There will always be those that will remain true to justice." The mare narrowed her eyes. "Bribery will not solve all your troubles. And today I shall prove it to you!" Once more her horn hummed, a blast of fire shooting out at the unicorn! It was swiftly deflected by the shadowy blade, but the criminal underlord barely had time to respond to Matter-Horn's charge. The sword of light just barely managed to deflect Matter-Horn's silver clad hoof, and Shadowlight spun his darker weapon at her neck. She rolled away from the strike moments before it would have connected, glowering at the emaciated unicorn as her wings flared out. Shadowlight smiled, shaking his head. "Still so eager for vengeance my dear? I would have thought your constant failure to contain my greatness would have wearied you." "On the contrary, professor, all your rule breaking has done is motivate me." The Masked Matter-Horn smirked, pawing at the ground. "I will not rest until you and your ilk are brought to justice." "Tut, tut, princess. So rude." Shadowlight idly twirled his blades. "I suppose you've already alerted the local Guard?" The starlight reflected off his silver glasses as he raised an eyebrow. "No doubt this whole assault is a delaying tactic, meant to keep me here long enough for them to arrive." "It's a shame you haven't put your mind to more legitimate purposes, professor." The heroine narrowed her eyes. "With your intelligence you could easily make the world a better place." "Oh, but I am, my dear." The unicorn tilted his head. "After all, what better purpose do I have then making sure Maretropilis does not fall to corruption and poverty? If I rule the underworld, then I can ensure that the very evils you seek to erase are controlled. I honestly do not see why you will not join me." "Your hypocrisy sickens me," Matter-Horn explained bluntly. "Hypocrisy? I preach that money is power, and I seek to earn that power. But alas, I cannot afford any more time for you." The unicorn nodded to something behind Matter-Horn. "Now, please." She twirled, ready to face the new foe--but a lance of lightning struck out and hit her chestplate, arcing through her and breaking the conduit gems between her horn and armor! In mere moments, she fell battered and bruised to the floor, fighting desperatly to stay awake. A strange clawed foot entered her vision; a thing constructed of alien metal. "TARGET NEUTRALIZED." The newcomer slowly spun an optic toward Shadowlight. "OUR BARGAIN?" "Mmm, yes." A tracking device hovered from the unicorn to the strange machine. "There you are. I can't guarantee you'll find her with that, but it's the best I could obtain." "...SUFFICIENT." Without another word, the robot bounded away. Shadowlight smiled to himself, using his magic to revive his lackies. "Well, that's that then. I have what I came for, X-Term N8 is off hunting its prey, and you... oh, you." He chuckled, kneeling and meeting the eyes of the suffering heroine. "You've failed. And this time, your wondrous little toy was broken. I'd love to examine it for myself, of course, but... well, how could the guards recognize the Masked Matter-Horn without the Matter-Horn itself? Such a notorious criminal, too, stealing these gems...." He shook his head sadly. "You'll... never get away with this." The mare looked up at her foe. "There's too much evidence I was attacked. Too much evidence that--" "Oh you know common criminals," Shadowlight replied smoothly. "They'll turn on each other for the smallest of reasons. Now then, I do believe you need to rest. You have been seriously injured, after all." His hoof descended, and everything went dark. Author's Note (1)First introduced in The Masked Matter-Horn classic series, issue 4. (2)Masked Matter-Horn Adventures issue 17.
Special Edition Magic the Gathering Card: Professor ShadowlightGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Professor Shadowlight WUB Legendary Creature — Unicorn Rogue Whenever Professor Shadowlight becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter that spell or ability unless its controller pays X, where X is Professor Shadowlight's power. WB: Professor Shadowlight gets +2/+2 until end of turn. 1/2 "Most people avoid evil and attempt to be good, but it's better to control both."
Special Edition Magic The Gathering Card: Virulent HazeGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Virulent Haze 3B Sorcery Creatures of the color of your choice get -2/-2 until end of turn. Purge what's unnecessary, and what remains will be stronger.
Special Edition Magic the Gathering Card: Horse CoughGenerously donated by a fan of most everything, here is a replica of the special edition card that Wizards of the Coast made for this issue in the original collection! Horse Cough, Grim Vector 2BB Legendary Creature — Pony Warrior Wither (This creature deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters.) At the beginning of your upkeep, put a -1/-1 counter on each creature with a -1/-1 counter on it. 3/3 "Disease is not meant to be cured, but endured."
