A Madpony's Misadventures

by Raffyk

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Octavia, Adventure, Crossover, Doctor Whooves
Length: 2477

A strange pony calling himself "The Doctor" finds himself in a colorful world filled with equines. Adventure and puns ensue.

The cataloged adventures of a rather mad alien travelling throughout time and space within Equestria will reside here. Read on for puns and the occasional rant of a Time Lord gone equine.

Published 2014-12-07 08:40:12 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-07 08:40:12 UTC

The Oncoming Storm

She tapped her hoof to the quiet, paced tempo as outside raindrops pattered away. Watching each brilliant flash of lighting in the distance, she sighed. It was a gloomy day, with dark weather and bleak prospects. She turned to the motionless stallion resting on a small clinical cot behind her. He was an ancient thing, each breath he wheezed, his chapped lips almost audibly cracking. He was an odd fellow, having no family or next of kin, simply calling the mare on his final day was odd enough. Even stranger was the fact that he hadn't said anything yet, he simply lay there motionless. He suddenly called out;

"Octavia," calling out with a weak cough. The grey mare stood up from her chair, trotting over to the old stallion. Peering at the old colt, he had a weary smile on his face. "You know, there is a reason I asked for you to come here," he said with slowly. Octavia gave him a puzzled look. Anypony could see his energy was dwindling, the spark in his old eyes was already fading.

"Don't you have family, or even a wife? Why ask a complete stranger to sit with you on a day such as today?" she replied trying not to think about the fact that he was on his way out.

He laughed and coughed at the same time, going into a wheezing fit. After a few minutes of violent gagging, he settled. Looking back at the stone-coated mare he started talking again.

"It's pretty simple m'dear."

"If it's so simple, why are you beating around the bush with telling me then?"

"You just wouldn't understand. Not yet at least."

"I doubt whatever you have to say could be more confusing than a complete stranger asking for my company on his deathbed by name," she coldly responded.

"All you need to know is a wise pony convinced me to," he firmly stated with a serious face.

Octavia gave an exasperated sigh as she backed up from the bed. She slowly walked back to her chair near the window. Sitting back down, she sunk back into listening to the musical rhythm of the rain.

"You haven't changed at all Octavia," he claimed with a nostalgic sigh.

"What do you mean geezer," she responded as she continued in her rain induced trance.

A violent, agonizing scream took place of the old man's creaky voice. Violent quakes and tremors groaned as a brilliant orange light took place upon the bed.The loud whirring of medical machines went wild. A loud thunderous crack whipped through the air, nearly shattering her eardrums, throwing everything about. The quiet, serenity of the clinical room returned as the incredible destruction subsided.

Octavia sat up from her crumpled mess on the cold tile floor from where she had been flung onto. Taking a look around the befuddled room, she tried to find the old man. It was near impossible with the fact that everything in the room had been uprooted and tossed about. Even the bed wasn't in sight among the huge mess of furniture. Pulling herself from the side of a thrown sofa, she made her way towards the center of the room.

"Is anypony there? Old fellow,are you alright," she meekly called out as she peeked throughout the room.

A bundle of cloth and medical dressing shot up enthusiastically at the female voice. A bark-hued pony with a scattered wild mane appeared, clapping his hooves together positively.
"Now that was a doozy! Been a while since I've had one that violent. Hold on a smidge, where am I?" he called out in an odd accent.

"Are you apart of the staff? I think some of the equipment sort of malfunctioned or something. There was an old pony sitting there, in a bed. I swear the furniture wasn't at all like this a few moments ago," she calmly stated with a slightly embarrassed undertone

The beige pony burst into a mad fit of laughter. He lie rolling on his side from laughter for minutes on end. He finally sat up, desperately holding back more laughter while wiping his eyes from tears.

"That's just brilliant! You're a little equine.I thought I've seen it all, and trust me, I've seen a solarin ride around on a tiny little unicycle. A red unicycle no less."

"Why of course I'm an equine, are you a patient here or something?Why wouldn't I be a pony?," she replied with a wondering tone.

The brown stallion checked himself, repeatedly patting himself down and poking away at his face. He rolled over, rubbing away at his hind-legs and belly area. He even examined his hooves up close, flapping them about as if they were some sort of alien concept.

"What? I have hooves! And legs, and even a tail. No, it couldn't be. Wait no, could it," he ranted on madly, continuing his strange examination. He turned to the nearby mare and tugged her along with him as he ran out of the room with her. Turning into the nearby hall, he dragged her with him as he ran to a close washroom.

"What are you doing? Have you forgotten about the room?"

" Don't worry about it! I'll just put it on my tab or something. Do horses have tabs?"

"What about that old pony?"

"Never mind that, there's more important things we should be worrying about, like how I'm a tiny little horse dragging another tiny little horse into the bathroom with me."

" Yes how about that? A strange colt is dragging me into the male's bathroom with him.I swear this is some kind of weird pervert's dream."

"You're a female?"

"Of course I'm a female you dolt! What did you think I was," she shouted back with.

The strange stallion took a nervous gulp, attempting to ignore the accidental insult he had procured. Closing the door behind them, he peered into a mirror over a few nearby sinks. He made odd faces and poked at his ears and mane. Shaking around his limbs as he stared intently at his form.

"Someone has a positive self image," Octavia coldly barked at him.

"Oh it's not that, I mean look at me! I'm a tiny little horse, with huge ears. I mean, I have had my fair share of satellite dishes with regenerating and all, but horse ears is just ridiculous. I'm not dreaming am I? Mind pinching me? Do horses even pinch," He buzzed out while continuing to poke at himself.

The grey mare slapped him with a forceful hoof, sending him onto his rump. She rubbed at her right hoof while grinning with satisfaction at making the stallion silent for a second.

"Oi! I said pinch," he whimpered out as he slowly lumbered onto his hooves again with a slight twinge of unbalance.

"Could you shut up for one second," she coldly responded.

The stallion rose to his hooves,getting on eye level with Octavia. A burning sense of confidence permeated from his blue eyes, with them they carried an orchestra of rage and loss, madness and yearning. As she stared into the void of curiosity and adventure, she stepped backward from his gaze, every hair on her coat standing on edge.

"I've bested the daleks and cybermen enough times to write an instruction pamphlet on it. . I've swapped lips with the bad wolf itself. Dinosaurs in space might as well be a hobby for me. I've seen the fall of millions of empires at the snap of my fingers. I've laughed death in the face more times than every mitochondria in your body has respirated. The Time War was just a chapter for me to rewrite. In all my adventures throughout time and space, if there's one thing that I will not do, it is shut up. Hell I'll be gabbing my way past the end of everything. And that's an understatement."

Panicking pleas for help averted his gaze from the grey mare; The screaming was only growing louder as he stood in the small washroom, every scream for help getting larger in volume. The stallion darted out into the hallway, clumsily managing a gallop towards an exit.

"Who are you," Octavia softly called out.

He stopped mid pace, turning towards her. He smiled while placing a hoof on the door.

"I'm the Doctor."

She stared at the door close behind him, she started a pace towards the door. Her face was lighten up by curiosity as she wondered about the strange stallion.

"Doctor Who? What does he mean through out time and space? Dinosaurs, in space. The heck is a dinosaur anyway," she snorted aloud. He was obviously mad, but when she stared into his eyes she saw something. Something painful and beautiful at the same time. She was left wondering as she went out the door.

Groups of panicking ponies galloped passed the Doctor, he watched them all seem to keep eyeing a spot near the treeline of a close by forest. A palette colors spread across the small clearing as they all fled for the village's bustle of buildings and shoppes. The oddly-accented stallion stopped a nearby pedestrian participating in the hectic commotion.

"Hello there! I'm the Doctor, I'm here to help. Mind explaining why all of you are sort of screaming and rioting?"

"T-ti-timberwolves!"

"Timberwolves? That's the first, and that's coming from the man who's met hyrdawolves, firewolves, viperwolves, even wafflewolves. Sorry, getting off track. I do that now. Oops did it again. Mind explaining what in bloody hell a timberwolf is,"he quickly chirped out, constantly pausing with rambled comments mid-sentence.

The mare pushed him aside, running towards the town in a screaming fit again. He tried calling out for her answer, instead she continued galloping off. Shrugging, he turned around to look for another pony. Instead of a view of a pasture flooded with fleeing colorful ponies, he was greeted to the view of rows of glistening canines and fangs dripping in a syrupy sap that almost mimicked a saliva filled mouth. He quickly backed up as the jaws snapped shut in his direction. He could now see the chomper's owner, a wooden replica of a dire wolf with almost incandescent glowing emerald eyes. The beast growled in anticipation, crouching onto it's haunches preparing for a pounce.

"So that's a timberwolf."

Octavia quickly pushed her way outside, roughly shoving the last few waves of ponies trampling their way into the deeper recesses of Ponyville. Glancing around for the Doctor, she heard beastly growls and manically accented laughter in the nearby field from where everypony seemed to have been coming from. Galloping towards the grassy outskirt of the town, she could she the odd shape of something darting around in a zanny crisscross.

"Is that a timberwolf? That's being...ridden? Oh it can't be. That Doctor guy is riding a timberwolf?"

She jumped to she side as the bucking timberwolf sprinted her way, vainly attempting to remove the stallion perched on his back. As she got up from the ground, she raised an eyebrow at the continual swarm of laughter coming from the Doctor.

"Octavia! You made it to the party! As you can see, I'm sort of busy riding a wolf made of wood, isn't that fantastic? This is Fluffy by the way, unfortunately he's trying to sort of kill me," he spurted out while managing to hold onto the timberwolf between bucks.

"Um, do you need assistance with that or something? I'm not really seeing where you're going with this Doctor"

"Not bad with no hands,sonic, or TARDIS eh? I think I've got this undercon-" he said before being interrupted by a snap of the timberwolf's jaws coming close to taking a hoof.

"On second thought, do you have any matches by chance? Talking horses aside, things can't be so different that wood doesn't burn, right," he nervously laughed while continuing his hold on the wooden canine.

Octavia glanced around, checking for any flammable materials or matches. Glancing down every single blade of trampled grass revealed nothing, so she quickly started patting herself down. Nearly giving up on finding flame starters on herself, she quickly realized something. Reaching behind her lavender bow tie, she pulled out a small and reflective metallic lighter.

"Catch," she hollered as she tossed the lighter towards the Doctor.

Barely managing to grab a hold of the small lighter in his mouth, he fumbled with the thing. After several failed attempts, he accidentally managed to put up both of his hooves in an last ditch effort to get the mechanisms to hitch a flame. Falling off quickly, he landed on his rump. The wolf hastily took the opportunity to get close to the annoying stallion that had latched himself to the wolfs upper portion for the last few minutes. With a slow growl, the timberwolf revealed his many sets of shined killing tools in the form of fangs. His eyes grew ever more green as they anticipated ripping into the flesh of the hazel stallion. Nearing his kill, he breathed one last steamy breath onto his prey. The Doctor smiled at timberwolf, revealing a primed lighter hosting a twinkling flame. With a swift throw, the beast jumped backwards as his mouth caught aflame.

The Doctor trotted towards Octavia as she watched the timberwolf hastily panic around as he caught ever more a blaze. Within a few extra seconds, he was reduced to a flaming tinder.

"Perfect timing Doctor."

"I'd say the same to you. Doubt I could of held on much longer. Why'd you have a lighter with you anyhow?"

"Erm, I guess I left it under my collar from my smoking poetry days..."

"Poetry? Ha! That's just brilliant, did you carry a bongo set with you too? I bet you even had a beret. Now that's a fun hat, mimes and smoking poetic horses wearing those."

"Oh shut-"

The two turned around suddenly as three more timberwolves burst from the brush, quickly sprinting towards them.

"Still have that lighter?"

"I um sort of...left it back there," he meekly leaked out after they both glanced back at the smoldering pile of twigs and ash a few meters behind them.

As they both braced for what would be the creatures assault. they shut their eyes. The seconds dragged on. One, two, three, ten,thirty, a minute? They opened their eyes to see the wolves were gone. Looking behind themselves, they saw the trio of timberwolves hastily making their way towards another portion of the outskirts on another side of the quaint town.

"That was close," the Doctor nervously laughed out towards the stone colored mare.

Author's Note

Why might Octavia have a lighter behind a bow tie? Let's just go with something that leaves with you with more questions than you came with. Calculus.