A Mane-iac's Relief

by Draconian Soul

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Mane-iac
Length: 4723

What is a poor Mane-iac to do when she has to deal with her stupid henchmen? Well, her hair has more than one function. She'd be crazy not to relax a bit...

The stress of pulling off a master heist while luring the Power Ponies is more demanding than one might think. It's time consuming and requires a lot of patience, especially when dealing with the stupidity of the henchmen. The Mane-iac has to deal with these buffoons all day and night. What is a poor villainess to do?

Well, her hair has more than one function. And with the amount of headaches she has to deal with, especially with a failed mission, she'd be crazy not to do it.

Something Skeeter made me do. So murder him.

Thanks to TittySparkles for looking the fic over, as well as IRPony for helping it look better.

Published 2014-01-08 23:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-08 23:20:03 UTC

The Simple Pleasures

The Simple Pleasures

A group of ponies pushed a giant machine into the small shed. A purple-tinted mare with long, flowing mane watched from the balcony, groaning as her henchmen strained to push it through.

“Be careful with that, you fools!” she yelled. “One scratch could rupture the entire machine, and then we’d all be frozen until the cops get here! Do you want that? Because if you do, I can freeze you myself.”

“No, ma’am!” The henchmen stood at attention, shaking nervously. “We would rather serve you than be frozen, Ms. Mane-iac!”

She played with her long hair, brushing her bangs out of boredom. “Such undying loyalty to me. If only that loyalty was of actual use.” She leapt off the balcony and used her mane to lower herself to the ground. Her hair acted as legs, pacing around the nerve wracked henchmen. “Since you’ve been hired, you have yet to subdue the Power Ponies for me. It’s always ‘they’re too strong’ this, or ‘they get away’! You haven’t even been able to capture Humdrum. HUMDRUM!”

The henchmen stood quivering, hooves shaking. The Mane-iac caught onto their nervous expressions and giggled to herself.

“Still, I can’t find anypony willing to work for the price that I give you, so for now, I’ll deal with your failures.”

“Yeah… you wouldn’t have gotten that much information without us.”

The Mane-iac paused and turned towards the henchmen, cackling loudly. “And which one of you brave souls just spoke out to me?”

Many of the henchmen scooted away and pointed towards a yellow stallion. He stood there smiling sheepishly as the Mane-iac approached him. She bore a disturbingly pleasant smile as she approached him.

“Well, looks like somepony got a little gutsy today,” she said sweetly, tickling his chin with her mane. She slowly wrapped it around his neck, sending chills down his spine. “And what information have you gathered for me, my loyal henchman?”

He gulped. His eyes wavered around the warehouse, trying to avoid the gaze of his boss. “Well… if it wasn’t for us, you would have never have gotten the information on the whereabouts of the Power Ponies. We… we were the reason you could find them.”

The Mane-iac’s smile grew and she clapped her hooves together. “That’s very true!” She continued wrapping her hair around his neck, tightening it slowly. “You were also the reason why they got away, and the reason we had to relocate, and the reason why Humdrum managed to beat us!” Each sentence she uttered tightened her grip, cutting off his circulation. He grabbed at her hair in a desperate plea to spare his life. Sadly, his attempts went in vain. The surprisingly smooth and durable surface of the hair made it impossible for him to grab properly. His grip became lighter and he began to pass out. However, due to her mercy, and the lack of an expendable group, she let go of the stallion, dropping him on the ground within an inch of his life. He grasped for his throat to try to catch his breath while the Mane-iac looked down on him.

“Anything else I couldn’t do without you?” she asked in slight agitation.

The stallion wheezed, shaking his head since words failed to escape him. The Mane-iac turned towards the cowering henchmen, pointing her mane at them.

“Anypony else want to speak out of term?” she asked in a threatening manner.

The henchmen all shook their heads, shivering at her gaze. “N-no ma’am! We wouldn’t be anything without you, your evilness!”

“Ah, isn’t that sweet!” She extended her hair towards the other henchmen and stroked their cheeks. “But your honeyed words will only get you so far. I want you to find the Power Ponies and drag them here to me. And this time, do not fail me, lest you want to end up like your friend over there.”

Pointing with her green mane, the stallions stood and nodded with sweat rolling down their brow. “Y-yes, your loathsomeness! We’ll go immediately. W-we won’t fail!”

The Mane-iac glared at them, unconvinced of their promises. Still, she didn’t have any other options, and she definitely didn’t want to go out there and do it herself. She wastes all her energy and emotion that could be put into explaining her evil plan that way.

“You better,” she said. “Now get going. Time is of the essence!”

The group of stallions ran off, some stumbling over themselves. One of the henchmen grabbed the one deprived of oxygen and carried him on his back. As they left, the Mane-iac pressed her hair against her face.

“Idiots! The lot of them,” she muttered to herself, returning to the balcony. She rested her chin on her front hoof and leaned on the railing. “What does it take to have a competent gang of thugs? Is it so hard to find decent help in this forsaken city?”

She groaned and stuck her lips out, staring at the doorway. “They’ll probably come back beaten as usual. ‘We’re sorry, your wickedness, but the Power Ponies were too much for us! We couldn’t defeat them!’ Bah!”

Her mane wildly swayed in the breeze, several moving in front of her vision. She smiled and cuffed one of them in the palm of her hoof. “You girls are the only ones who are worth talking to. I don’t know why I put my trust in those simpletons.” She smiled and rubbed her hair. It was as if they had a life of their own, listening to the problems the Mane-iac were going through. “One of these days, I’ll finally have defeated the Power Ponies, and make this city my own playpen.”

The Mane-iac giggled to herself and sighed dreamily. “Oh, what a day that will be. I can see it now: the Power Ponies cowering at my feet. The town running around frantically in panic.” She shivered in the delight of her daydream. “And I would just play around with them to my hearts content. I can already see them quivering under my hooves.”

Her cheeks began to turn a shade of red, and her thoughts drifted into a more depraved zone. “The Mistress Marevelous would be a fun victim. I wouldn’t even need to use my own hair to subdue her. Knowing that klutz, she would probably tie herself up, willfully getting binded with those ropes, tighter and tighter…”

The heat began to rise in her body. A tingling sensation began to stir inside of her. The urges kept building up, causing her thoughts to get dirtier.

“That dastardly Fili-Second. I bet she’s a fast one, in more ways than one. Both quick on her hooves and while she’s getting…” The Mane-iac shivered, unable to complete her statement. Even her hair seemed to be slithering around exotically. “And the easiest one to subdue besides the Mistress Marevelous: Radiance. Just imagine what that ring could turn into.”

The mare shook her head to try and snap herself out of her erotic fantasies. She was practically drooling from the mouth, and her face was flushed from just the mere thought of dominating her opposition. However, the most noticeable thing from the experience came from between her flanks. Her lips were welled up with moisture. The Mane-iac bit her lips, trying to fight the temptation of carnal pleasures that were awaiting her.

“It’s not often I get some time away from those idiots,” she said to herself, panting softly. “Dealing with those idiots all day is enough stress for one mare.” A small smile crept on her face. Her mind was made up. “Just need to get a little more comfortable…”

She used her hair to unfasten her suit, slowly pushing it off of her body. “Thank you, ladies. You’re quite helpful. More useful than the others.” She tickled her mane under her hooves and giggled. She kicked her uniform off of her legs and sat on the floor, her body splayed and presenting. “Now, to get rid of this annoying urge.”

She rested her front hoof on her vagina, pressing lightly against it. Soft moans elicited from her mouth at the as she continued pressing into her folds.

“Oh, this feels so good,” she moaned. “It’ll be more satisfactory when I get those pesky ‘heroes’ under my grasp.” She slowly rotated her hooves into her lips, teasing her clitorus at the same time. She was practically melting under her own touch. “The Masked Matter-Horn would be… ooh… a tricky one to capture, but if I cut off her magic, tie her down with my hair, and prevent her from resisting…”

Her breathing became heavier and she rubbed between the slits of her vagina faster and faster. Her hoof was moist with her own juices, and her scent became pungent. All the while, she continued muttering her lust filled plans for the heroes that have one-upped her so many times.

“I might force Zapp to make it rain for a while. That way, when she’s all wet and slippery, she’ll be easier to take and control. Nothing like a wet mare to… ahh… mess around with.” Her rambling no longer catered to her plans of capturing them. Instead, they devolved into her demented sexual desires that were welling in her body. “Even that foolish little whelp Humdrum could be fun. Imagine the torture I could put him through: not allowed to relieve himself like I am, my mane teasing his body and bringing him to the edge until—”

The Mane-iac stopped. In the throw of her own horniness, a new idea formed. She pulled her hoof off of her sopping sex and rested it on the floor. Her mane was wild and long, and quite flexible. It was strong enough to hoist her up when she needed to walk around and tower over anypony she wanted to intimidate. Maybe it had other functions to it. She tapped her wet hoof against her face and smiled.

“Oh girls, do you want to do me a little favor?” She grabbed the wild mane and looked at them with a seductive look. “I want to experiment with you all for a bit. It’ll help me figure out how I’m going to subdue our little friends if our incompetent henchmen manages to get the job done. Care to give your mistress a good time?”

The hair strands turned to each other, slightly tipping themselves up. After a quick mulling over, the hair turned back to the Mane-iac and nodded.

“Aww, you’re so sweet,” she said, chuckling. “Now, what I would do is bind them with my mane to make sure they couldn’t… whoa! You’re quick at this!”

She continued laughing and moaning as her mane wrapped around her body. They tightened around her frame and curled on the railings, keeping her trapped. A few of the hair strands grabbed onto her back legs and slowly began to spread them out, revealing her leaking labia.

“Leave enough hair for my holes, ladies,” the Mane-iac pleaded. “I know you like to strangle and trap things, but that’s only going to get me so far.” She chuckled insanely, slightly flailing her legs around playfully as the few free bangs of hair arched over her backside. One of them rested against her vulva, causing her to moan in pleasure.

“Alright, what are you going to do about the entrance back there?” the Mane-iac purred. She got an answer, but what she received shocked her. She gasped as her hair slapped against her clitorus. The odd sense of pain and pleasure aroused her immensely.

“Oh, a little uncanny, but a welcome staAAART!” The mane slapped down on her vagina constantly and fast. For hair, it was surprisingly sturdy and rough on her. It felt really good, and made her body writhe in pleasure. “Girls, this is borderline torture. This is.. aah… just teasing on a painful scale. It’s… it’s… AMAZING! When we get our hands on… oooooh… those annoying pests, we gotta do this to them.” She moaned and wiggled around, sweat rolling down her backside from the heat rising off the surface of her body.

“Still… I’m not a Power Pony. I would like it if you… OWW!... stopped teasing and get on with the show.”

As commanded, the hair stopped pounding away at her soft, reddened lips and began stroking it with its tip. The Mane-iac bit down on her front hoof to stifle her moans and try to contain her orgasm. The hoof in her mouth was the same as the one she used to pleasure herself, so she got a taste of her salty juices. It was thrilling and exciting, making it harder to hold in her orgasm. Despite this fact, she mustered all her strength and held it back. To cum from the touch of her hair before even being penetrated would have been embarrassing.

“That’s it,” she moaned. “Push in nice and easy.” She panted lightly as her mane began to press against her entrance. It was soft, yet firm, able to slide in with the greatest of ease. As it slid in, the hair pressed in and out of her vaginal caves slowly.

“Oh, this feels amazing,” she murmured. “Maybe this will be a good reward for the Power Ponies for being good subjects. If they were to surrender… ooooooh!” Her legs felt like jello. She was melting under the touch of the hair infiltrating her orifice. “Yes… just like that. This couldn’t get any better if you… oooh myyy!”

Just as she thought she couldn’t be pleasured anymore, the mane began to move in a wave, pumping itself in and out in a watery fashion. It rubbed the ridges of her walls. The sensation rippled throughout her body as she continued with the pleasuring of her sopping vagina. Her vision was hazed with pleasure, but she noticed a lonely hair swaying around in front of her.

“You want to play, too?” she asked, petting the hair while breathing heavily. The bang swayed around hypnotically, curling around the Mane-iac. “Well, there is one hole left. However, you might want to moisten up first. I don’t like things going in dry.”

Swiftly, the hair strands slithered behind her and joined it’s penetrating friend. The extra strand slid over her sex, spreading out her lips and entering with the other.

“Ooh, a tight fit,” the Mane-iac cried out in ecstasy. “You have no mercy on a… ooh… lady, do you? I like it.”

The hair strand continued to tickle her warm insides, lubbing itself up to prepare the other hole for penetration. The Mane-iac’s face was filled with lustful grins, drool pooling from her mouth almost as much as her juices flowed from her caverns. Constantly, her penetrating friends pumped in and out, one moving in waves and the other rotating around the edges of her vulva. Sweat began sliding down her backside more and more, and her body craved more and more.

“Oh, this is amazing, girls, but I think one of you should switch holes, if you… umph… know what I mean.” She grabbed at one of the thick strands of hair and tugged on it, begging it to fill her puckered anus. The one that only came there to moisten itself in the flow of her juices pulled out and slowly rose towards her sphincter. The touch was warm and wet, and even more arousing.

“What are you waiting for? You know what to do.”

The hair complied and slowly pushed it’s way through the tight entrance. The Mane-iac bit down on her hoof from the initial pain, the hairs tightening around her hooves and body at the tension she was putting off. The hair slowly twirled inside her forbidden glory, stretching it out and easing her into the new sensation. It continued to slither it’s way into her, while the hair invading her vagina continued pumping away.

After several seconds, her pain was replaced by pleasure. She moaned lightly at the feeling of being full. The mane noticed her easing up, and began to push into her faster and faster. The Mane-iac’s mouth was still wrapped around her soaked hooves. She seemed to be enjoying her own fluids, licking her hooves as her hair continued to pleasure her caves. Her moans became louder and louder, piercing through the walls of warehouse.

“Yes! This is it! The perfect reward for them!” she shouted in bliss. “Once subdued, they will grovel at my hoof, and submit as my playthings!” The Mane-iac’s concerns melted. There was nothing that would ruin her mood, nor was there anything that would stop her. She was going to ride the tingling flurry of sexual desires until she came.

“Boss, we have confirmation on them, and our guys are going… to… stop them…”

And there it was. The one thing that the Mane-iac didn’t want to hear. The thing that made her dread ever deciding to hire such a pathetic crew, and helped to kill the mood.

“Henchman, I thought I told you to not come back until you have subdued the Power Ponies!” she screamed. Her hair receded from her vagina and anus and returned to it’s wild, flowing place above her. Only this time, most of them were soaked and unkempt.

The stallion swallowed. He blushed madly and began stumbling over his words. “Well… I-I just w-wanted to prepare you f-for their arrival. W-we wouldn’t fail this time and I-I wanted to make sure the machine w-worked.”

The Mane-iac glared at him. She had every intention to strangle the insolent prude right there. That was, until she saw something that intrigued and humored her. Catching her pleasuring herself with her mane seemed to have aroused the stallion. So much in fact, that his shaft was firm and erect, pressing against his underbelly. She put her hooves on her chin, her seething hatred of the henchmen turning into a satisfied clarification.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked coyly. “Does it have anything to do with what you just saw?”

The stallion’s face flushed. “N-no, your evilness! N-not at all!”

The Mane-iac giggled. “Really? That’s not what your little friend is telling me.” She pointed one of her locks of hair towards him and laughed. “He seems to have quite a lot on his mind, since it’s staring at me, all firm and alert.”

The stallion’s face couldn’t get redder if he wanted it to. His brown erection tapped against his stomach, welling up and filling the henchman’s brain with lust. His obvious struggle to prevent his desires gave the Mane-iac an idea. A wicked, cruel idea.

“Listen, henchman, I have a proposition for you. I’m still horny, and you’re obviously longing for it right now.” She licked her lips and turned around, revealing herself to him. “You know you want this, don’t you?”

The henchman didn’t know how to respond. Was it the Mane-iac testing him? What if he said the wrong thing? What would she do to him? He needed to handle the situation very delicately.

“Oh yes, please, mistress! Please help me with this, please! I’ll take anything!” The stallion begged and begged, bringing the Mane-iac into a manic cackle.

“Well too bad. I won’t service such insolent, disobedient whelps such as yourself. You have to deal with that problem on your own.”

The stallion sighed. His pleas for gratification went unanswered, and his throbbing erection still pounded against his belly.

“However, I am merciful enough to let you watch me. In fact, I want you to.” She sat on her flanks and leaned back. Her tail wrapped around her back hooves, spreading her legs apart and revealing more of herself. Her labia was wet and slick. Her liquids poured on the ground. The Mane-iac pushed herself closer to the railing to let the liquids pater on the ground level. The dollop that fell left a faint plop that help arouse the stallion more.

“W-watch you?” he asked.

“I didn’t stutter, you twit. Now, come here. Stand directly under the railings so you can get a good view of me.”

The henchman followed her orders and walked closer until he was directly under her. She smiled seductively as he did her bidding like the mindless puppy he was.

“Oh, and if you dare touch yourself during this, I’ll end your miserable life while you are still horny,” she threatened with a smile. “I’m sure you don’t want to die still pent up, do you?”

The stallion shook his head, whimpering. It was a pathetic display. So low and weak for a henchman. It sent chills down the Mane-iac’s spine to have such a submissive stallion be forced to watch her pleasure herself.

“That’s what I thought. Now stand there and enjoy what your mistress is allowing you to view.”

With that said, she relaxed her self, lightly pressing her hoof against her clit. Her hair began to glide over her holes, eagerly awaiting re entry.

“You girls really are impatient,” she said, stroking them. “Very well. I want to finish up soon, anyways.” She giggled and let her mane glide over her entrances. The green hairs tickled her entrances, one playing with her luscious folds while the other prodded at her puckered sphincter. The stallion was forced to look at it, his stallionhood becoming more firm and sensitive. It began leaking precum as he watched with wide eyes. The evil mare was taunting him, playing around with primal urges, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

The Mane-iac bucked her hips, signalling for the hairs to penetrate her orifices. They pushed themselves back into her, but with greater force and speed than the previous time. They were ready to send her on a ride, and she wasn’t complaining. The Mane-iac moaned and panted as her mane duly assaulted her.

The sensation continued to well up. One of them continued the wave motion, pumping her walls and soaking the hair. The other continued through her anal cavity, twirling around her tight, dry walls with speed. It was even more thrilling knowing that her hired help was down there watching helplessly, his tongue lolling out in desperation.

“How are you doing down there?” she asked. There was no answer. Only mindless dribble coming from his mouth. “Oh, at a loss of words? Would it help if you could experience this… ooh… amazing sensation? Would you like it if I wrapped my mane around your throbbing cock, relieving you of that spunk that is controlling your mind?”

He nodded. He flinched as the drops of female ejaculation fell on his snout. The scent of his boss filled his nose, making him hornier, and longing for her even more. Out of desperation, he held his mouth open, attempting to catch the drops that would eventually fall from her flowing sex. The drops would either fall into his mouth, allowing him to drink the salty juices of her fountain, or on his face, warming him up even more and causing his own penis to leak as well.

“How pathetic,” the Mane-iac moaned. “You’re so desperate for sexual gratification that you’re actually drinking my load. You pitiful… aah… henchman. But if you are still thirsty, drink up. No point in wasting.”

He continued lapping up everything that fell from her level while her mane continued to have her way with her.

“Just think about it,” she began to mutter. “This is the perfect torture for those Power Ponies. They will be forced to watch what they cannot partake in. Hungry, lusting, and wanting relief, just like yourself.” She moaned loudly once again. The scent of her juices drove her wild, and she bucked her hips wildly. “Yes, this will be peerfeect!”

To speed up the process, she brought her front hoof down to her clitorous and rubbed vigrously at the lump while the mane dug its way into her warm cave. They went as deep as it could possibly go in both of her holes and pushed in and out of her with great haste. The sensation was becoming too much. Her rubbing became more vigorous and rough, and her tongue was rolling out of her mouth. Before she reached her peak, her mane pulled out of her holes with an audible pop. She brought her hoof down to her vaginal lips and pressed in between to finish herself off.

“This is it!” she shouted. “Prepare yourself, minion!”

He stood under with widened eyes. His tongue hung out, ready to lap up her content. He didn’t have to wait long, as the Mane-iac shot her head back and released a strong jet stream of her cum. It flew all around, mainly falling on the henchman’s face and nearly in his eyes. Barely any fell into his mouth. The sticky substance had it’s preference for him, and it flew wherever it felt. The Mane-iac sighed and twitched slightly, riding out her pleasure.

The stallion wiped her cum off of his face and looked back down at his own schlong. It was still hard and erect, with no sign of receding. The tip was dripping with his clear, sticky liquid. He wanted to touch it so badly. He wanted to end his lustful urges. But he knew doing so would mean a very uneventful end to his life.

“Still hard, I see.” The Mane-iac panted. Completely exhausted and spent, she used her mane to hoist her up and walk her down the balcony steps. She inched her way closer to the stallion and smiled. “You poor thing. That was just too torturous wasn’t it?”

“N-no, ma’am,” the stallion claimed. “It wasn’t a problem at a...a...aaah.”

He was cut off by the touch of her mane wrapping around his shaft. A dumb smile enveloped his face as it curled around his wanting penis. The Mane-iac giggled as he squirmed under her touch

“You want me to do something about it?” she asked, tickling the tip with a free strand of hair. He twitched and nodded, praying that she would do something about it. “Very well then. I guess I could help you out.”

She uncurled her lips and hovered them over the tip of his penis. The henchman closed his eyes, anticipating the warm, soft lips to wrap around him to give relief and freedom from his buildup. However, his eyes quickly opened when he noticed the warm sensation was gone. The mane was no longer wrapped around his cock, and the Mane-iac stood a great distance, cackling loudly.

“How tragic!” she exclaimed. “You actually thought I would put my mouth on that thing! After your defiance, you really expected me to give you the gratification you longed for? How foolish are you?”

The stallion lowered his head in shame. “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

“That you are.” She smiled and grabbed her uniform with her mane. “Now, return to your post, minion. I don’t want to see your face until either the Power Ponies are captured or you fail your duties… again.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he murmured, looking back at his erection. “But… what am I going to do about this?”

“That’s a problem you’ll have to figure out yourself,” she said. “Maybe you can ask one of your friends to help you out.”

The Mane-iac chuckled, watching the stallion leave the warehouse with his head hanging low. She used her mane to put her outfit back on, smiling widely.

“That was the most fun I’ve had in a while,” the Mane-iac said. “And it’s all thanks to you girls. You know how to show a mare a good time.”

She nestled her mane against her cheeks lovingly, and even kissed parts of them, laughing maniacally during the act. For the first time in a long time, she wasn’t stressed, angry, or pent up. She finally got the load out of her that kept her from thinking clear. With her mind clear, she was able to think of ways to stop her nemesises. And most of those stemmed from her little play-date she had with her hair.

“So, think it will be a good idea to try those ideas out on our pesky Power Ponies?”

The mane’s tip nodded, eliciting a warm giggle from the purple villainous.

“Yeah, I think so too.”

Author's Note

Skeeter... You better like this >:I