Peachin' with Twilight

by ThatClosetBrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sex
Length: 1364

Peaches were eaten. By Twilight. And insanity ensues. I'm so, so sorry.

Twilight eats a peach.
Well, multiple actually.
And weird stuff happens.

I'm so, so sorry.

Thanks to this guy for prereading.
Blame this guy for everything.

Terrifyingly terrible cover art by me. And GIMP.

Published 2013-12-27 01:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-02 03:05:35 UTC

Twilight is Just Peachy

Twilight stared at the golden orb suspended in her magic in front of her face. She could taste the fur on its skin, and feel the sweet flesh inside.

She hugged it close and breathed in its scent. It didn’t actually have one, but Twilight just told herself that it was peach-scented. Which smelled like nothing. Her head began to hurt. Thinking hurts. But the peach took it away. No pain. Just peach.

Twilight began fondling it, rubbing its tight flesh and running her hooves along its curves. She stuck her tongue out and began licking it, making the fur clump together with her saliva.

She put the peach into her mouth. Whole. She ascended to a plane of pure bliss, flying further up into the clouds the more she chewed. She chewed slowly, savoring the orgasmic pleasure it granted her.

She bit down on something hard. Twilight guessed it was the pit. She began crunching down on it anyways. Her mouth was a bit sore. Did she break all her teeth? Twilight shrugged. Who needed teeth? Peaches were soft enough.

And the juice made all the pain go away.

Who needs pain?

She swallowed, enjoying the feeling of the soft mush sliding down her esophagus. Sure, there were a few razor-sharp slivers of pit mixed in, but who cared? It was a peach pit.

Twilight picked up another peach from the ground and dusted it off. Its beautiful golden complexion was marred by a red splotch. Blood.

But who needed blood? Peach juice would work much better.

She bit into the peach, the crimson patch adding a salty twist to the familiar sweet taste of the peach. Peach. Such a funny word. Such a fun word to say.

Peach. Peach. Peachily-peachy peaches are peaching to peach the peach for peach. Peach.

Peach was good. It was life.

She needed peach.

Twilight swallowed the rest of the peach whole. This is why ponies don’t need teeth. They just need peaches. You can eat peaches just fine without teeth.

The fur tickled on the way down. Twilight giggled.

Her stomach began gurgling, protesting against eating more peaches. It was filled to the brim with peaches. And blood. But mostly peaches.

Silly stomach. There’s no such thing as too many peaches.

Twilight grabbed another peach, but stopped before she gummed a bite of it. She had been so ignorant, just eating peaches as if they were normal fruits.

Peaches demanded more respect. They needed to be courted, to be wooed. They were precious. Precious to Twilight. Her precious.

Twilight began licking the peach again, but this time slower and more passionately. She began making out with the tip, slowly at first but growing more passionate by the second. Her nether regions were burning. She needed release.

She began rubbing the peach against a certain part of her body. She teased it in and out, then experienced more pleasure than she ever had before. Even more than eating the peaches. If there was a heaven, this would have been super-heaven.

Twilight’s tongue lolled out as she took deep breathes, struggling to catch her breath. She noticed that not all the sticky fluid on her was her own. Some of it was red. Red as blood. But that didn’t stop her, so she didn’t care.

Twilight licked the peach clean of her nectar. She began kissing it again, but this time she nibbled slightly at it. The rush of sweet heaven overloaded her senses once again.

She continued nibbling at it, until all that was left was a pit. A perfect, pristinely clean pit. Twilight decided that she would plant it. This was a special peach. And she wanted to share the rest of her days with it. She dug a hole in the ground with her hooves, plopped the seed in, and covered it with red dirt once more. She used her magic to water the seed with some red, liquid salt.

The tree wasn’t growing fast enough, so Twilight felt around for another peach.

She couldn’t find any.

Twilight flew into a panic, and her mind whirled around in a mess of fear, anger, loss, guilt. Of peach.

Of course! Why didn’t she think of it before? Twilight facehoofed, the peach taking away most of the pain associated with smashing a large, hard hoof into one’s face. Some of the salty red water began flowing down from Twilight’s face. Why did it come? It hurt to think. Twilight just shrugged and lapped away at the droplets near her lips.

It was salty, with a hint of sweetness. Eager to experience more of the liquid salty peach, Twilight began lapping at the pools of red peach around her. It was mostly salty, but there was enough of the peaches’ sweetness to slightly clear Twilight’s mind.

What was she doing again? Ah, yes. She was a unicorn, Celestia’s own student! Surely she could do this one simple thing!

Surely she could manage to convert flesh into peaches!

She concentrated the best she could, the thought of more peaches giving her strength. She focused her power on some small, purple, scaled lump of flesh. She felt her energy pouring into the body, before nearly blacking out. When she recovered, she saw…a pile of peaches with a slight purple-y tinge. She took a bite, and recoiled when the taste of spicy parchment hit her tongue.

Twilight began pacing back and forth, panic overtaking her mind. What should she do? She was out of PeaCheS, and the pEachEs she made tasted terrible. bUt…BuT sUrely tHe next onEs shE would MakE would bE BettEr, RigHt?

yeS, yes OF course tEh nExT OnEs ShE’lL mAke wLiL tasTe BeTTar. YeP.

shE fOcaSed Hre PoWAr into a White FLEsh, a bUle flEsh, an oRange flEsh, a ylelow FlesH, anD a pink flesh. shE tHen diD tEh samE to a SHIny Gold fleSh and a SHINy Black Flesh.

Such pReeTy colOurs. WURGB.

nO, WUBRG sOunDed coOlEr.

Way paSt cooL.

sHe feAsteD oN aLL tEh peeaCHHes. thEy weRe badd, bUTT tweLiT din’t CAR. thEYYY wer PPPEAACHES. but shE waNteD mOAr. anD so ShE adVanced onto T2O biGGEar FLllEsahes, onE White, one Black. Would theY bEE oRzHov FlaVoreD? whaT waS ORZhoV?

TwIliT sgurgged and LAzERD the BodYYYS beFOAr lEaninG in toooooooOOO takkE a BBiitt-

Twilight jolted awake with a gasp, breathing hard and fast through her nostrils. She could hear pounding as someone ascended the stairs of her quaint little tree house. The door to her room creaked as Spike slowly opened it to let himself in.

“Twilight? Are you okay? You slept past noon, and then it sounded like you were having a nightmare, and so I came up to check on you, and-”

While Spike was hurriedly summarizing all that had happened, Twilight looked outside and saw that it was about two o’clock in the afternoon. She tried to remember what she was dreaming about, but she couldn’t quite remember.

Well, that wasn’t true either. She remembered one thing.

“-you were already sitting up, and-”

“Spike, I’m fine,” Twilight gently interrupted.

“I know, I was just really worried about you,” Spike replied.

“Of course. Any number one assistant would have been.” Twilight rubbed the top of Spike’s head. He felt like that was rather odd of Twilight to do, but he was just happy that she was okay. “Now, since you are my number one assistant-”

“Yeah, Twilight? What do you need? I’ll get it as soon as I can,” Spike excitedly exclaimed.

Twilight chuckled. “You just need to get me some fruit, Spike.”

“Could you go and get me some peaches?”

Author's Note

Right, so this is my first (and hopefully last) time using the "Sex" tag. And I finally discovered the "Add Horizontal Rule" button, so YES!!!
Yep.
Also, I'm not responsible for any mental trauma this may have caused, so HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

teh sequal (April Fool's)

Twilight bit into a peach. "Happy-"

Spike bit into a peach. "-April-"

Twilight bit into Spike's head. "-Fool's-"

Spike bit into Twilight's head. "-Day!"

Author's Note

Bet I had you all scared there for a sec, eh?