Giving Chaos a Chance

by Pizzema Forte

Rating: teen
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Random, Sex, Main 6, Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 4963

Sure, Rainbow Dash and Discord didn't start off on the right hoof, but maybe an apology will mend those cracks, and maybe - just maybe- turn into something more than a friendship.

After Rainbow Dash sincerely apologizes to the Spirit of Chaos, they start to bond as good friends. However, after a long chat, Rainbow starts to feel an unusual pain in her heart she can't fight. Who knew how much she actually could feel for somepony- or some draconequus- she'd used to hate?

Published 2013-12-24 19:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-06 00:30:52 UTC

Apologies

Apologies

The cyan mare paced back and forth with a vigorously beating heart. Her eyes remained glued to the soil ground below. Maybe if she hadn’t been such a bitch at times, this wouldn’t be happening to her. Maybe if for once she could keep her big mouth shut, none of this would have happened, and she wouldn’t have been standing directly in front of the dreaded house.

Within that little house lived a chaotic spirit, whose reputation revolved around disharmony and chaos. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. Rainbow would knock on the door, Discord would answer, and she’d quickly hand out her apology and leave. It would be that simple.

Her friends at that point had all accepted the crazy being for whom he was, and even granted to him their friendship. Yes, they kept their suspicions up at all times. He may have been reformed, but as Spike reminded them multiple times, he wasn’t that reformed. Letting one’s caution down around him wouldn’t be a good idea at all. With that in mind, Rainbow took in a deep breath. She’d hadn’t been forced to hand out an apology, but she was starting to feel obligated to after nonstop harassment about it from her friends.

“I’m starting to think you should really apologize to Discord, Rainbow…” Twilight suggested no more than a week before.

All of her friends had randomly gathered in Twilight’s tree house for the afternoon. Most of them were relaxing, drinking some punch, or munching on some of the yummy snacks Pinkie Pie provided.

“What? You can’t be serious! He’s the baddie!” Rainbow whined.

“That may be so, but he has been reformed!” Rarity reminded her. “You seem to have a rude attitude towards him even when he’s personally done nothing wrong to you in the longest time!”

“Ugh, you too? And how have I been rude in any way?”

“Well….” Pinkie Pie started. “You’re the one who suggested be blast him into stone when the Everfree Forest was taking over!”

“Pinkie! We all agreed to it! Except Fluttershy, but still! You can’t blame that all on me!”

“Well…. You did yell at him during our dinner party….” Fluttershy said softly.

Rainbow’s pink eyes went wide in shock. “Were all of you just planning this or something?”

“Listen, Rainbow. Ah know it’s not easy to accept, but all of us have already made amends wit’ Discord. We all think it’s time you made amends too!” The apple farmer added.

Rainbow gaped in shock. “Applejack- Everypony- listen, I don’t have to make amends with him! He’s still the bad guy, and I can think whatever I want!”

The rest of the ponies tossed each other unsure glances. They’d been thinking this for a while, and knew it was going to be hard to get Rainbow to even consider apologizing.

“All we’re saying is you should really take it into consideration. He’s not a bad guy anymore, and you have no reason to be upset with him for what he used to be!”

Rainbow grumpily turned away and shook her head. “Whatever…”

The statements said in that argument echoed in Rainbow’s head. Ever since that day she started thinking about it more, and realized that apologizing didn’t seem completely absurd after all.

Rainbow finally took in a long, deep breath and puffed out her cyan chest. She was going to do this like the full-grown mare she was. The pegasus approached the wooden front door and gave it several loud taps with her hoof. Her belly filled with butterflies and her heart started to ache in anxiousness. She really hated it, but knew it had to be done. He friends wouldn’t stop whining about it if she didn’t.

Moments later, a tall figure opened his front door. He was wearing a light pink robe and yawned. He stretched out his lion paw and talon, causing a noticeable pop in his long, slender back. The chaotic spirit smiled and looked down at the pegasus. She was staring at the ground with a red blush smeared across her face. She was going to apologize, but there’s no way in all of Equestria she could look the beast in the eye to tell him.

“Who do we have here?” The draconequus started with a grin. “I never expected to see you of all ponies knocking at my door this early in the morn.”

Rainbow didn’t even peak up for one moment. She swallowed hard as sweat poured out of her forehead. Why was she so nervous?

“I-I…. I’m sorry about being a bitch to you…” Dash muttered as quietly under her breath as she could.

Even Discord seemed slightly shocked by the pegasus’ sudden change of heart. He was so used to nothing but accusations and degrading from her. He’d heard the mare clearly, but smiled more mischievously now as he had the opportunity to tease her.

“What was that, my dear? You know, if you want to be heard, you have to speak louder.”

“I-I’m sorry….” She repeated with slightly more volume.

“Come again?” Discord put his talon to his floppy, little ear.

“I’m sorry for being rude to you…” She finally spat out. She still refused to look up at the exotic creature.

Discord smiled wider and with a snap of his talon shrunk down small enough to be face-to-face with the pegasus. Rainbow blushed madly, as she was now forced to look in the eyes of Discord.

“I never, in a thousand years would have expected an apology out of you. I don’t suppose your little pony friends had some help forcing it out of you.”

“I… Yeah, they did. Could we please keep this whole apology thing between you and me? I don’t want the others knowing…”

“Oh, now why in all of Equestria would I do that? You know I’m a reasonable guy.”

Yeah, sure… Rainbow thought to herself sarcastically.

“Thanks, I guess… Well… I’m going home now.”

As the mare headed towards the skies in an attempt to fly off, Discord smiled and snapped the hand on his tail. He regrew to his original size and Rainbow was instantly transported to the front porch of his house.

“Hey!” She snapped. “What was that for?”

“Oh, Rainbow Dash. What kind of new friend would I be to not show you around my home and welcome you into my life as a true friend?”

Rainbow growled. They both knew Discord was only doing this for the soul purpose of getting under her feathers. They were both aware Rainbow just wanted to get home and relax, maybe catch a few more hours of sleep.

“Ugh, fine!” She muttered grumpily.

“Now, that’s a good pony.” He opened his front door and allowed Rainbow in.

Cautiously, the mare trotted into the draconequus’ home. The little home silently screamed Discord’s name. At first look, there were paintings spinning continuously in all directions. He owned a long loveseat constructed of many miniature love seats. He owned a little hamster in a cage…. Except it was a hamster with wings…and a beak… and gills. He had a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. All of the flames glowed a different hue and pointed downwards instead of skywards, as usual. The pegasus looked around the odd home in wonder.

“Do you like it? I constructed it myself.”

What a surprise.

“Well… It’s interesting, I guess…”

“Thank you, I do have quite an exquisite taste in these sorts of things.” With a flick of his tail, he transported over head of the pegasus, sitting on the top of a door frame to his hallway. “You know, Rainbow Dash, you and I could be very good friends if you just gave me a chance.”

Yeah right! She thought to herself. I may have apologized to him, but that doesn’t mean we’re friends!

“We are kind of friends, I guess…”

“You know, Fluttershy was my first real friend, and I’ve honestly learned a lot about the magic of friendship through that little mare.”

Rainbow chuckled a little, looking back on old memories. “Yeah, Fluttershy was my first friend, too.”

Discord’s floppy pony ears stood up. “Oh really, now?”

“Yeah… I never had the easiest time socializing. I was always called a show off and a liar because everypony thought I made up the sonic rainboom story. I drew some ponies away with my temper, too… Getting bullied didn’t help, either.”

The perched draconequus thought for a moment. “I could say a similar thing about myself. I was a loner for most of my life. Celestia imprisoned me in stone for thousands of years, and even when I was king, nopony liked me. I was too chaotic and silly to be a proper ruler. I suppose being myself was a crime.”

“That must have sucked. Heck, my dad didn’t even understand me at times. He even thought I was gay for a while.”

“Dad? Well, at least you had a family. My species went extinct a little after I was born.”

Rainbow looked up at her new-found friend with sympathy. She had an odd paradigm shift at that moment. Maybe she was wrong to judge him like she originally had.

“That’s awful. I didn’t have a mom…who’d you grow up with?”

“Well, I grew up with Celestia and her sister. Things only got choppy when I decided to take over. It may not have been my wisest decision.”

Rainbow didn’t know how to reply to that. She simply stared at the ground and felt now genuinely ashamed of herself. “You know, I am really sorry about what happened. How I acted and such.”

“That’s all in the past, Rainbow. Now that I’ve earned the all of you ponies’ trust, there’s nothing to worry about.”

Had he really earned her trust, though? That she was unsure of. Sure, he was her friend, but he’d yet proved to be trustworthy.

“You know, this is quite surprising. That sheer hatred you used to have for me really didn’t suit you well.”

Discord flicked his tail and appeared next to the pegasus, with the end of his snake-like tail around her in a hug. His single-fanged smile seemed different this time. Every preceding time, seeing that odd smirk on his face was displeasing, but this time, a much more different vibe was given off. What it was, she had no idea.

“Yeah… anger doesn’t look good on anypony. Especially me.”

The little pegasus smiled kindly at the beast.

“That’s it. You look so much better with a grin.”

The draconequus flicked his tail and his bird…hamster…thing appeared in his hand. “Have I introduced you to my good friend, Strife yet?”

Rainbow giggled and shook her head. “He’s a…. interesting…”

Strife opened her beak and let out a loud meow. Rainbow laughed. She actually… laughed at Discord’s usually displeasing nonsense. It felt weird, but she didn’t care.

Discord snapped his talon and a large bowl of caramel corn appeared in his hands. It was still warm with steam and the sweet smell of salt and caramel filled Rainbow’s nostrils and made her drool slightly. Discord opened his mouth and popped a pawful of the yummy snack into his mouth, thoroughly chewed and swallowed effortlessly. He held the blue bowl out to Dash and smiled.

“Would you like a bite?”

Rainbow beamed and gladly accepted. She took a piece in her hoof and popped it into her mouth. Within a second, her tongue burst into flames.

"Ahh! It's hot!" She screamed behind a swollen tongue. She flew around the house, searching desperately for a watering hole of any kind. Whatever that evil draconequus had put in that awful caramel corn, it was hot!

The rainbow-maned mare ran into the kitchen and saw a leaky faucet, teasing her with little droplets of sweet, fresh liquid. The drip-drip tempted her and forced her to quickly approach the sink and stick her burning tongue beneath. She waved her hoof madly and eventually found the source of pure bliss. She turned it to the right in panic, not caring what temperature the sweet water would turn out to be. However, nothing came out.

Rainbow panicked further and looked up at the damned faucet. It wasn't a faucet. No, the metal pipe had magically transformed into a little, chaotic being.

"Did you really think it'd be that easy to turn me on?" he questioned in a mocking tone.

Rainbow looked at the foul being in disdain and angrily growled. Was he serious? Why would her make such jokes in her moments of misery!

"Discord!" She screamed once again behind the burning, swollen tongue. "Give me water!"

The draconequus rolled his yellow and red eyes. "Of, fine! Whatever!"

With a flick of the finger on his tail, a metal bucket appeared above the pegasus and tilted forward, dumping a few gallons of sweet water all over her head and body. Her rainbow-streaked mane drooped down, drenched in the pure liquid. She moved her wet bangs out of her eyes and stared at the little creature in anger. She didn't look amused on any levels.

"Oh, come now, Rainbow Dash! You simply can't take a joke! I see you doing 'humorous' pranks all the time!"

The cyan mare looked shocked almost, realizing he was right. It was a prank and nothing more. She'd fallen into his little joke and despite the awful burning in her mouth, she smiled at the little prankster and rolled her pink eyes.

"Okay Discord!" Some of the water had landed on her tongue and cooled it slightly. "Fun's over! Can I please have a glass of water?"

Discord smiled in satisfaction. "See what manners get you?" He snapped his yellow talon and a cool glass of ice water appeared in front of the mare. She picked it up with her hooves and gulped it down happily.

"Thank you..." She said as the red, plastic cup fell to the floor. "It feels so much better."

Rainbow wasn't nearly as pissed as she thought she'd be. For a prank from somepony she'd previously felt hatred towards, she took it pretty well. She even tossed the draconequus a smile.

"That was actually a pretty cool prank..." She admitted, more to herself than to the clever guy who'd pulled it. "I mean, with your power, I'm sure you can do lots of cool pranks effortlessly."

"Yes, I admit, having extraordinary powers like this is a blessing." Discord waved the fingers of his talon around as if he'd got a fresh manicure, examining the beauties that could get him nearly anything possible.

Rainbow smiled and thought for a moment. When she was young, she occasionally considered what her life would have been like if she were a different race. Mostly, she imagined what kind of spells she could possibly do if she were a unicorn, and what it would be like to have great levels of power. It wasn't anything she longed for or would ever replace her precious wings for, but it was something she found interesting to think about every so often. Discord's magic , though; it proved to be greater than some mighty alicorn magic, and was beyond fascinating. It wouldn't have been crazy to consider him the most powerful creature in the land.

"You do have some really awesome magic...." Rainbow shyly complimented. "It's enough to probably make Princess Celestia jealous."

"Princess Celestia.... Oh, her and I have always been the worst of competitors. I thought I'd won over Equestria, until she stole it back. She's ruled it ever since, but I don't care much anymore. Nopony really appreciates my wonderful chaos, anyhow..."

The dranconequus sighed and Rainbow looked at the ground. She didn't realize until that moment how sad Discord may have been at times. His one passion and greatest talent was highly undesired and unappreciated. If everypony despised her ariel tricks and flying, she'd be pretty depressed herself. How Discord held himself together, she couldn't understand. Although she didn't exactly like his chaotic nature and unorganized strife, she did sympathies for him, and wanted to make him feel a tad better about himself.

"If it makes you feel better, I think your chaos is kind of cool. I think Pinkie Pie appreciates it, too. You should have seen when she first saw your chocolate milk rain. She was practically rolling in the stuff!"

Discord slightly smiled. Even his singular fang gleamed a little in happiness. "Thank you for your understanding. I knew Pinkie was different from the rest. Don't tell Shutterfly, but she's my favorite."

Rainbow ignored his obvious mistake, and went on to smile at him. "I won't, trust me..."

Discord smiled back and put his paw on the top of Rainbow's head. "That's very sweet of you. Now, it's nearly nine in the morning. I'd like to go back to my nap, which you so rudely disturbed."

Rainbow smiled guiltily and chuckled. "Yeah...sorry..."

Without another word, Discord snapped the finger at the end of his tail, and in a white flash, Rainbow ended up right outside of his home. The sun was just now fully over the horizon. It'd only been rising when she entered his house. Time went by....so fast... Something changed, though. Something was different about today. Maybe it was the fact that she'd been with Discord alone, or maybe that she'd completely had a paradigm shift, but strangely, she didn't want to go. She wanted to relive the stressful morning, just to spend another minute with him. He was oddly fun, and inviting, and talkative. She even managed to relate to him. The giddy pegasus squeaked cutely and beamed widely just thinking about the wonderful morning. It was then her pink eyes shot wide opened and she took in a gasp. She...loved him.

Trappped

Trappped

“This can’t be happening! This can’t be happening! This can’t be happening!” Rainbow cried, flying back and forth within her small, cozy room. “I-I can’t love Discord! He’s not even a pony!”

A heavy blush formed on Rainbow’s face just thinking about it. How could she even think she remotely liked Discord? He was so…ew. She had to somehow purge the feelings! When she’d take a moment to even consider them a couple, she’d cringe, but simultaneously her heart would melt. Out of all the ponies to feel this wicked curse, why her? Why not Fluttershy or Pinkie Pie? Just not her! So much of her pride was seeping down the drain; she didn’t even know what to do!

All the previous day she'd the mesmerizing draconequus had been on her mind. She awoke from a wonderful dream about her and him together. It was a particularly strange dream; her and the chaotic beast were eating at Sugar Cube Corner together, chatting carelessly and melting in each other's eyes. Her friends were there, too. There were admiring them as a couple, and awing at their beautiful chemistry. She awoke with a giddy smile and warmed heart. It was only then she realized how totally head-over-hooves she was for him. She'd never dreamt of a crush before.

Rainbow was reflecting on old memories in a desperate attempt not to think of the only thing on her mind. Her cupid-struck heart was pounding. Beads of cool sweat dripped from her forehead. Her mind was in a confused daze and her pacing wore out her legs.

Trying her very best to cool off, Rainbow flew downstairs from her bedroom, and into her kitchen. She opened one of her several cabinets and got down a cup and filled it to the brim with water from her faucet. She gulped it down. The smooth liquid massaged her throat and made her pulse lower. She put the glass down with a gasp and smiled. It kind of reminded her of the time Discord poured water all over her as a prank the day prior to that one.

“No! No! Get him out of your head Rainbow!”

The little pegasus banged her head against the counter several times and sighed. Nothing in all of Equestria would get him off her mind. She wanted to see the draconequus again so damn bad! It was killing her and making her stomach churn. There had to be some possible reason she could get down to his house again! There had to be some possible way to meet with him in private without seemingly like she wanted to see him. She thought hard and long until her head hurt and she had to rub her temples. Ugh! Why was this so difficult? Rainbow’s eyes shot opened suddenly. She thought of the perfect excuse that was completely disaster-proof!

“So…” Mrs. Cake pondered, rethinking the order. “You want a muffin basket? For a gift…for Arbor Day…?”

Rainbow smile shyly and nodded with a blush. “Y-yeah… you know how it is…”

Mrs. Cake ignored her silliness and proceeded to fill the order. She stuffed twelve different flavored muffins into a large basket and neatly tied a red ribbon onto the handle. She then tied on a ‘To and From’ tag, then set the order on the counter.

“Twenty bits.” The blue mare requested.

With a sigh, Rainbow tossed a little pouch of bits on the counter. Damn, love was expensive. Rainbow received the lovely dozen muffins and smiled at the mare. With a nervous heart, she hopped out of the bakery. Sweat was already forming on her forehead and an ache was already consuming her heart. She was heading towards the house of somepony she wouldn’t be caught dead hanging with.

With anticipation in her heart, Rainbow leapt into the warm, summer air and stretched out her cyan wings, and flew in the direction of the dreaded but oh, so desired home.

Unfortunately for Dash, her great speeds got her to the draconequus’ house far earlier than she anticipated. Only five minutes of flying lead her to his lovely, little house. She nervously took one step forward, then froze. Fear overtook her and made her rethink everything.

What if… he saw straight through her lie? What if he became suspicious? What if he knew what she was going through? Her feelings may have been easy for the chaotic spirit to decipher. He had been around for thousands of years, so he was most likely used to seeing ponies act strangely when confronted with such…. strange feelings. Her plan had been well-thought out, but maybe love blinded her from seeing her own stupidity.

“Maybe I should just…go home…” Rainbow pondered to herself. “This is stupid! This whole idea is stupid!”

The confused mare blushed heavily and turned around. This was far too stupid. Giving up seemed like the perfect option at that point. Rainbow looked up into the sky and spread her wings. It was time to just go home and cuddle in her blankets. She needed some time to debate on whether she loved him, or was just being stupid.

Rainbow took in a whiff of the sweet, summer air and darted upward. She felt almost relieved to be away from the home. She closed her eyes and started soaring skywards, then stopped herself.

“Come on, Rainbow Dash! You were so, so close! Just turn around and be a big mare about this!”

Rainbow huffed out her chest and turned around. She was a brave pony! She could face monsters, demands, armies of changelings, and anything that came her way! So why couldn’t she face him…? She blushed heavily as she thought, and landed herself back onto the ground. Her hooves touched the gently combed grass.

“This’ll only take a minute or two…” She reassured herself. “And it may or may not get his attention….”

Nervously, the pegasus took several steps towards the draconequus’ home. A heavy shade of cherry red was already forming against her cyan face. Her heart pounded against her chest and pumped blood through her body at an unnecessary rate. She forced one hoof in front of another, and in too little time, she was in front of the dreaded house. She swallowed the spit that eagerly formed in her mouth.

“Just knock…. It’ll be okay… Just knock and he’ll answer…”

Rainbow blushed heavily and sweat as she put her hoof up to the wooden door and gave it three small knocks. Oh, Celestia! Her heart instantly filled with dread and she wanted to so desperately flee. Her heart beat so heavily she could nearly hear its hard thumping. Sweat poured down her reddening face.

Moments later, the draconequus answered. Rainbow smiled awkwardly in his presence. Her heart ached and thumped heavily. Never had his oddly structured, ugly face seem so…adorable. Her heart was blinding not only her mind, but her eyes. She breathed heavily and stared at her crush.

“H-h-hey…. Discord….” She managed to choke off her tongue. “I… It’s from… Fluttershy…”

Shyly, the pegasus set down the basket of muffins and blushed heavier. Her pink eyes stared deeply into the draconequus’ red and yellow ones.

“Fluttershy, eh?” he questioned. “Why couldn’t little Fluttershy deliver these personally?”

“Didn’t have time!” She spat out quickly. “Sh-She had to spend all day caring for a few sick creatures a-and when I visit her she asked me to deliver them…”

Rainbow was sweating as if they were in an intense heat wave. Her knees were trembling and her plastered-on smile was strange to stare at. Discord knelt down and picked up the odd basket.

“What’s the occasion?”

“Arbor Day!” She answered with no hesitation. “You know how she is with nature…and stuff…”

Discord stared at the pony for a good minute. Her blush and awkward smile only increased in size. It was relieving when his singular-fanged mouth turned into a smile and he spoke.

“Well, I think it’s rather sweet of you to do this as a friend.” He paused and Rainbow giggled in the humorless situation. “But I wasn’t born yesterday. In fact; I was born nearly two thousand years ago. And after being imprisoned in stone for all those centuries, you could say I’ve seen a lot. Ponies are constantly going in and out of gardens. Some bring foals, friends, family… dates…” When the word “dates” slipped off his tongue, Rainbow’s entire face lit up and she gulped. “I’ve observed ponies behavior, and I just happen to know there’s something more to this situation.”

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about! Everything I said was completely true!” The pegasus’ tone was shaky, and hard to listen to. “Just… I think I should go home…”

Rainbow turned around to fly away. She couldn’t stand being in his presence any longer than she already had, yet…she loved every second of looking into his beautiful eyes. She flew for almost three feet when she suddenly crashed into a hard, wooden wall. Her head spun as she lifted it and realized she was staring directly at a wall. Her heart thumped and she blushed at the familiar shade of yellow.

“Going so soon?” She heard a familiar voice ask. “You only just got here. And I’m afraid you’re not done explaining yourself.”

Rainbow shook her nauseous head. “I…I don’t have to explain anything to you! There’s nothing to explain!”

Discord smiled. “Oh, really? Then why are you blushing that beautiful shade of crimson. You know, it really does bring out the color in your eyes.”

With a flick of Discord’s tail, a gold-bordered mirror appeared in front of the mare’s face. She didn’t even realize how red her face had turned.

“I….I…. It’s this heat…” She lied. “It’s just too much to bear….”

Discord smiled. “You think I’m that oblivious to not know there’s something up? A foal could see through you!”

Rainbow blushed. She couldn’t think of anything more to say. “I…I….”

Discord smiled at his dumb friend. “What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?” The draconequus held out his paw to reveal her wet, disembodied tongue flopping around like a fish. Rainbow’s hooves shot up to her mouth. Her blush would have grown deeper if it were possible. Discord laughed at her expression.

“Oh, you really are so fun, Rainbow Dash.”

The pony couldn’t help but smile at the generous compliment.

“Now…” Discord removed Rainbow’s hooves from her face and made her jaw lower with one talon. He placed his paw to her mouth to return the tongue. “I’d like to get a little truth out of you while you’re here.”

The truth? The truth was she was love poisoned and desperately wanted to see him without being obvious. The truth was painful, and beyond impossible to admit. There wasn’t a thing in the world that could choke the truth out of her.

“I, uh… Well… The truth is what I said! Just let me go home and we can forget about this!”
Ugh! Quit it Rainbow! You sound so obvious! No wonder he’s suspicious! Rainbow thought to herself.

“Well… I suppose I could let you leave…But what fun would there be in that?”

Rainbow grew almost a little angry at the mean, rude, brutish, cute…adorable… lovable draconequus before her.

“This isn’t funny Discord! I think I should just go home now!”

Discord rolled his eyes. “Listen, until you speak words of truth…” Discord flicked his talon and hefty stalks of green vines thrust towards the heavens. Rainbow gaped as she saw the vines block the door. “You’re not going anywhere!”

Rainbow growled. “Well, there’s no way I’m going to tell the ‘truth’ because it’s already been said!”

Discord shrugged. “Looks like I’ll be having company for a while.”

Rainbow grunted in irritation. She was going to have to stay with Discord until she told the truth? That’d take forever! She’d be locked with him for ages…lust her and him…. alone…. Maybe this wouldn’t be that bad after all….