Santa VS The Conversion Bureau

by Grey Warden

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Other, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3666

Santa has read our letters and checked his list twice and now he is going to give us what we asked for. But the ponies a re going to wish he hadn't.

Celestia has been destroying the world with her barrier and humanity believes they have truly no hope left but as the most joyful time of the year approaches the children of the world send their letters to a man who can great any wish if they have been good. And they all have been very good, and so Santa has to lay down a Christmas beating.
Note The Santa for this story will be a combination of various Santas from many different TV shows and Movies.
We will be seeing Some Rise of the guardian Santa, Elfa Strike force from Code Name Kids Next Door, the nearly endless amount of elves and reindeer from American Dad's Santa, and many more. SO please enjoy.

Published 2013-12-24 11:30:05 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-29 21:11:24 UTC

Part 2

Celestia and Luna looked right at the fat man as he seemed to look right into their souls. They felt chills run down their spines, and they could feel the tension in the air.
“So be it.” Santa said. Then Santa vanished leaving only a room of stunned ponies behind.
“Where did he go!?” Twilight yelled with bug eyes as she with the rest of the elements ran right to where Santa was standing moments ago.
“Please twilight calm yourse”- but before Celestia could finish talking she felt a hand grip her neck hard and was lifted into the air and thrown right into the steps right in front of her throne making a large crater form as she made impact and get covered by the stone that was once the stairs leading to the throne. She quickly pulled herself out of the ruble only to see her sister flying right at her as she too was throne.
“Luna get off me!” Celestia yelled pushing her sister off of her to see who had thrown them only to see Santa looking at them with an angry glare.
“I warned you.” was all that he said before he vanished again only to reappear right above the celestial sisters as he delivered two powerful punches with each of his hands to each of them causing them to fly right into what was left of the throne room door.
“Princess!” Twilight yelled as she with the rest of the girls seemed to finally get over their shock of seeing the princesses being thrown around like cheap rag dolls.
“We are fine Twilight Sparkle!” Luna said getting up and standing next to her sister. They both then looked at the Santa only to see that he was now standing near the door that led out of the throne room and was looking around like him was waiting for something.
“How dare you do that to either one of the princesses!” Rainbow yelled at the old man.
“Ok, please you six leave the room I will deal with you later but right now I’m dealing with the princesses” Santa said waving to the side seeming not even listening to what Rainbow Dash had just said.
“No way you big meanie! You may be really, really fast but we still got the number advantage!” Pinkie yelled at him.
“You think so toots, well think again!” A gruff voice yelled out as the left wall blow up causing the ponies to cover their eyes. When they were able to look they say walking through the large hole. Four creatures smaller then Santa maybe about as tall as Luna, walking right up to Santa and standing by his side.
“Wintergreen I believe I told you to help with the main assault if fighting was necessary” Santa said looking down at the one closest to his right wearing a green and red suit with a mask on that had two bells on it for some reason.
“Sorry sir but we couldn’t let you take on the top 8 on the naughty list on your own.” Wintergreen said looking right at Twilight causing her to take a step back to be closer to Princess Celestia.
“I see, well you four deal with the elements, I will deal with the Princesses.” Santa said cracking his knuckles.
“Enough talking like we’re not here!” Luna yelled “Tell us who these four creatuers are, and what you meant by main assault!”
“Oh how rude of me let me introduce me most elite team Elfa Strike Force! This is Wintergreen.” Santa said motioning to his right.
“Sup punks” Wintergreen said braking off the curved part of a candy cane and putting the rest in his mouth like a cigar.
“This is Snow Angle” pointing behind him to a female elf with black skin white hair, wearing a princess outfit that many little girls would probably love to have complete with a tiara, and most strange of all a pair of wings that seemed to be letting her fly, and that whereas white and freshly fallen snow.
“Hello, I’m sorry we had to meet under such horrible conditions” she said giving a curt nod in the direction of the ponies.
“The one on my left eating the chest nuts would be Nutcracker.” Santa said pointing down to another elf wearing what a blue out fit with a cape, red trim around his suits color and a large ‘N’ on his belt. And probably most strange of all his head with was as big as the rest of his body, and looked to be made of wood.
“Hello Fräulein.” He said with a slight German accent.
“And last but not least met Coniferous.” Pointing to his left once again to the largest of them all easily beating the others in height by at least a foot. Wearing an all green out besides a red hat just like the one Santa was wearing, a red belt with a large letter ‘C’ on it, and red shoes.
“Yeah!!!” Coniferous yelled reminding the mane 6 of a particular Pegasus stallion back in ponyville.
“And for what I meant by main assault just look outside” Santa said pointing to the hole that Elfa Strike had made when they came into the room.
The Ponies made their way over to the hole and looked out and nearly fainted from what they say. The noise of battle met their ears looking out at the battle that was happening royal guards were fighting against waves of elves wielding swords, spears and crossbows made of what looked like candy cane, wearing green chainmail armor, and losing by the looks of it. The Pegasus royal guards were no help to the ground troops as they were fighting off flying reindeer that were also wearing green chainmail armor and using their antlers as spears piercing right through the royal guards’ armor and killing them.
“How dare you bring violence into our city!” Luna screamed at Santa as she ran right at him with her horn glowing brightly.
But before she could reach him he once again moved at the speed of light appearing right in front of her and grabbing her neck making her horn lose its glow. He then moved again appearing right in front of the rest of the ponies and grabbing Celestia with his other hand.
“I think it’s time we took our battle elsewhere.” He said looking right into the eyes of both of the pony princesses as they struggled to get air into their lungs with the pressure he was applying to their necks “Wintergreen you and your team deal with the mane six!” And with that Santa seemed to fade out of existence with both Luna and Celestia in tow.
“Princess!” The Mane six yelled out unable to believe what was happening around them.
“Give us back the princesses!” Twilight yelled flaring her wings as she charged right at the elves still standing there.
“Please.” Wintergreen said with a bored expression on his face. He then turned to the side slightly dodging her attack, he then punched twilight with enough force to send her flying right to the other side of the room and through a window. He then ran after her and stood on the windowsill and looked back at the rest of his team. “Decide who gets who and take’em out!” He then jumped down into the court yard where Twilight had landed.
“Ok, I call the gay pride haired one!” Snow Angel said with enthusiasm in her voice.
“I. AM. NOT. GAY!” Rainbow yelled flying right at Snow Angel. Since coming to earth she had learned how rainbows were used to show gay pride and sadly this had led to many ponies thinking she herself was gay. So she had let an anger build up inside her each time she had told other ponies she wasn’t gay and with that final accusation from the female elf she lost it and intended to let out all her anger on the face of the female elf. Sadly Snow dodged her first attack.
“Missed me!” Snow said with a mocking tone in her voice as she flew into the hall way that the ponies had originally came from. With Rainbow Dash right behind her yelling angrily after with a murderous look in her eyes.

“Dashie wait!” Pinkie yelled trying to run after her friend only for Rarity to ran after her and use her magic to keep the party pony from running out of the room.
“No Pinkie we need to stay together!” Rarity yelled when she had finally caught up to her. But sadly it wouldn’t have really mattered for not a second later a green puff of smoke appeared right beside them and two hands came out and grabbed both of them by their tails.
“Hallo, Fräulein. I thank you both for volunteering for fighting me!” Nutcracker said with glee in his voice. “Hey Coniferous you think you can deal with the shy one and the apple farmer?” He said looking back at his comrade.
The only response he got back was a simple nod and Coniferous cracking his knuckles while looking at Applejack and Fluttershy.

“Ok then, we will be off!” Was all that he said before Nutcracker with Rarity and Pinkie Pie in tow left with only a green puff of smoke let where they once stood.

“What did you varmint friend do to Pinkie and Rarity?!” Applejack yelled while Fluttershy tried to hide behind her.

“He can teleport. So he probably just took them somewhere else so they wouldn’t get in the way of our fight. Now then let’s get started!” And with that he flung his arms to his sides and pine needles began to grow out of them, then his chest, and finally his legs. After his transformation was complete he looked almost like a Christmas tree minus the decorations.

“So you think turning into a tree will make you tougher? I buck trees for a liven!” Applejack said crouching down to get into a battle stance.

“Now then let’s get this battle started!” Both Coniferous and Applejack yelled as they charged at one another.

And thus began the battles that would determine if the forces of Christmas would be enough to defeat the pony menace.

Author's Note

Hey hope you have all liked the new chapter. I would also like to thank everyone for liking and favoriting this story you have no idea how much that means to me. And you can probably tell with how close it is to new years that I am not going to be able to finish this story by new years. So yeah sorry about that. But I will try to get the next chapter out as soon as possible. Oh and for everyone who says I should get an editor if you want to be my editor or know where I can get one please let me know because so far I have had to do that part myself.Happy New Years!!!
And for the next few chapters each one is going to be centered around one specific fight. So First on the list its going to be Coniferous vs Applejack & Fluttershy.

Part 1

Canterlot Castle December 24, 2013 9:34 PM

It was calm clear night in the Castle, and Celestia was feeling very good about herself. The barrier was moving at a modest pace and was slowly gaining more and more speed, Twilight and the rest of the elements had come to the castle to have a nice dinner with herself and Luna, and best of all the smelly humans had gone away from the barrier and all her royal guard ponies so the casualties where practically zero.

She thought for a moment as she rounded the halls to the main dining hall about why the humans had apparently moved back. Something about one of their silly human holidays, she had heard it was about good will, and peace on earth. But Celestia and her ponies knew what it was really about, just a reason for humans to be greedier.

As she reached the door to the dining hall it was opened by a guard and she saw all of the elements and her sister in small conversations.

“Princess!” Twilight the newly made alicorn princess said waving at her as the rest stopped their conversation and looked at her.
“Sister come we and the elements are ready to eat!” Luna said looking out at all the food.

“Yes sorry I’m late, the humans UN had wanted to talk about stopping this war and saying how this is the season for us to stop all this horrible war. Celestia said with a small amused smile on her face.

“Really don’t they get we are doing this for them? I mean we are making them pure and a chance to have a better life? Why can they see that?” Rainbow said right before taking a huge bit of a salad she had in front of her.

“So, true Rainbow darling!” Rarity said taking a sip of her wine

“Oh let’s not talk about that now you guys!” Pinkie said eating her third cherry pie

“Pinkies right. Ah say we just have a good old time.” Applejack said

“W- well how about just a toast to helping all the hu-humans?” Fluttershy said hiding most of her face under her mane when everpony turned to look at her.

“A most glorious idea Fluttershy!” Luna said filling her glass. “A toast for helping all the humans!” Moving her glass to the center of the table.

“Cheers!” But sadly the rest of the ponies glasses would not reach Luna’s as the door to the dining hall burst open with a royal guard pony running in with a black eye, and a bloody nose.

“Your majesties! A human is in your throne room demanding to talk to you! We tried to remove him but he is much stronger then he appears.” The guard said with his head bowed.

“Well guard why didn’t you just use a bottle of potion on him?” Twilight said with a slightly worried look on her face.

“We did try but whenever the potion came in contact with him it would catch fire then it to burn and turn to ash.” The guard said with his heard still bowed.

The rest of the room was silent thinking about how impossible this was but with how bad the stallion looked they had to believe him.

“Guard have all of Canterlot on high alert, I want this city locked down. I with my sister and the elements will see what this is about.” Celestia said taking control of the situation

“Of course your highness!” The guard said before running out of the room.

“Quickly we must see what this is all about!” Luna said before lighting her horn and teleporting all of them to right in front of the throne room doors which now had a large hole in it. Like a manticore had ran straight at it.

The group of eight made their way through the large whole to see that the guard was telling the truth. In front of them siting in Celestia’s throne was a human male, wearing a red suit with a red hot on his head to match, he had a large white beard and large belly.

“Who the hay are you!?!” Rainbow yelling at the human.
The human then then let loss a loud laugh nearly as strong as the royal Canterlot voice. “Well Ms. Dash I go by many names like Saint Nick, Father Christmas, etc., but I would prefer if you would just call me Santa.” He said with a young joyful smile on his face.

“Wait Santa like the fake human who gives presents to human children?” Pinkie said with what appeared to be a look of wonder on her face.

“The very same, but as you can see I’m not fake.” Santa said getting up from the throne and beginning to walk towards the ponies.

Pinkie then rushed at him stopping just at his feet. “Well what presents did you bring us!?” Pinkie shouted out with pure joy on her face with the possibility of herself getting a present.

“Oh well for all of you I got nothing. As you may know I don’t give presents to people who have been naughty.” Santa explained

“W-what? What do you mean we haven’t been good?” Fluttershy said while trying to stay behind everypony else in the group do.

“As I said I give presents to all the good little boys and girls of the world and well none of you are human but more importantly you are all at the top of my naughty list. Look.” Santa said as he pulled up his left sleeve to show that on his for arm was a list of names and the top 8 of them read as such.
1.Celestia
2.Luna
3.Twilight
4.Applejack
5.Rarity
6.Rainbow Dash
7.Pinkie Pie
8.Fluttershy

And on his knuckles it had in big black letters the word ‘NAUGHTY’.

“I don’t care who you are but I want to know why you are here!” Celestia yelled. “And why you aren’t affected by the potion.”

“Well it’s quite easy to explain. You see there is magic in this world your kind just can’t see it or affect it. And I along with a few others are the only beings on this world that can harness it. So the magic in my body is just too strong for the magic of the potion. But for your first question the answer is even simpler. I’m here to defeat you and make you stop your barrier and turn all the humans you have turned back to normal.” Santa with a matter of fact tone in his voice.

The throne room went quiet for a few seconds then the ponies in the room burst into laughter. Did this human really think he could make them stop? With all the plans and preparations they had made?! He must have been mad!

“You are quiet funny Santa but please tell us how you are going to make us do that?” Luna said with a smug grin on her face.

“Well by asking nicely but if you won’t listen to my words then I will have to get forceful but please don’t make me get forceful I am not a fan of violence.” He said with a serious look on his face.

“We have told the Human Governments many times before ‘No’ when they asked. So I believe force is your only option but do you think you an old human who smells of soot and chocolate chip cookies can bet us? Luna and myself the celestial sisters and the Elements of Harmony!” Celestia exclaimed feeling very sorry for this old plainly crazy human.

“Yes because I have the hope of the children of the world behind me.” Santa said with his chest puffed out with pride

“The hope of what?” Applejack said scratching her head with a confused look on her face.

“I might as well just show you so you can understand.” He then pulled a letter from his left pocket and began to read it out loud.

“Dear santa. All I want for Christmas is for my mom back. Dad says that since she got hit with the potion now she is a pony she isn’t my mom anymore and he’s right when I went to see her at one of the camps were newfouls are being keep at, she said she can’t love me as long as I’m a human. That’s not my mom. Please Santa can you help her?

Signed Jackson age 8”

He then put the letter back into his pocket and looked back up at the group of ponies. “Now do you understand?”

“Please it’s just one letter.” Rainbow said with a not caring look on her face

“Just one?” Santa said with an angry look on his face. “How about 1 billion!!!” He then through his arms out to his sides as millions of letters came pouring out of his sleeves and began swirling around the room. They even began to read themselves. But sadly with so many voices going off at once the ponies could only hear a few key words from each but they were easy to make out since all the letters seemed to have one thing in common they were all about them. “Please Santa make the ponies go away!” “Santa I want my dad to come home please make the ponies go away!” “My mommy is now a pony and she says she doesn’t love me anymore! Please Santa fix my mommy!”

The voices went on for about 10 seconds but with how numerous they were it might as well of been hours. Then the letters flew back into Santa’s sleeves.

“How, How did you do that?” Twilight said with a look of both wonder and fear on her face.

“Magic”, Santa said with no true emotion on his face. “Now please Celestia I ask you one more time remove the barrier, give yourself up, and turn all the humans back to normal.”

Celestia seemed to be paralyzed just looking straight at Santa perhaps. Out of fear? We will never. “I will not do that Santa. What I am doing is for the good of all humanity when they are all ponies they will thank me!” Celestia proclaimed

Santa closed his eyes and took in a deep breath then let it out and looked right at both Luna and Celestia. “So be it.” Santa said. Then what happened next was maybe the biggest surprise of their enter lives.

Author's Note

Merry Christmas. Im hoping to get this story finished by new years. And Im thinking its maybe going to be 3 or 4 chapters long.