One Last KIll

Introductions

BEEP!.....BEEP!.....BEEP!

Ugh....someone shut that thing off...

Jason groaned as he awoke from his slumber. Without opening his eyes, he moved his left hand to rub his face of that sleepy feeling. After a couple of seconds, he let his hand fall back to his side and opened his eyes to study his surroundings. The first thing he noticed was white. It was extremely white in this room. The other thing he noticed, was the fact that he was in a very uncomfortable bed. Putting two and two together, he deduced that he was in some kind of hospital.

Looking to his right, he saw that there was an IV dripping some clear liquid into a tube that lead to his arm. He had never bothered to learn what that crap was. The way he saw it, all he needed to know was that stuff was good for him, and that it would be a bad idea for him to try and remove it himself. Next to the IV was the machine that continued to make that infernal beeping, that damn heart rate monitor. Other then those objects, the rest of the room was bare for that side. Jason then turned to his left to observe more of his room, and discovered...an ass.

A very tight ass, struggling inside of a nurse's outfit. It seemed to sway this way and that, taunting him. The woman wearing the outfit, appeared to have dropped something, and was having trouble trying to pick it up. With a great amount of effort, Jason returned his head forward, hoping that the nurse didn't notice him staring at her. Luckily he did not hear him, but she did turn to the human after finding the pencil she had dropped. When she saw that his eyes were open, she let out a small gasp and almost dropped the pencil again.

"Oh good, you're awake!", she said with relief in her voice.

Jason turned to the nurse to ask how he had gotten here and stopped with his mouth halfway open when he saw her face. Her eyes were HUGE! That was the first thing he had noticed, and the longer he stared, the more strange she appeared to be. Her skin was a whitish pink, while her long hair was a dark red. To complete this person that Jason considered deformed, her face seemed to come foreward ever so slightly, giving it a muzzle like appearance, while atop her forehead rest....a horn  She had a freaking unicorn horn!

Jason just sat there dumbstruck, staring at this woman, if he could even call her that. She was, by far, the strangest woman he had ever seen, and he had seen, A LOT, of strange women in his time. What Jason failed to realize, was that his stare was not registered to the nurse as shock, but more of a....perverted observation. She immediately looked down are her tight outfit, blushed, and held her clipboard tight around her chest.

'Um...if you could not stare at me like that....I would very much appreciate it," she said in a shy matter.

Jason stopped his staring and closed his mouth, noticing something else odd about this woman/creature. She was talking. She had been talking this entire time....and he understood her. This woman/creature was talking in his language.

Ok...I think I understand what's going on here. That guy who hired me had to have drugged me. Then, while I was unconscious, he must have beat me up or something, which is why I feel like crap and while I'm at a hospital. That means that, the medicine they gave me, or the drugs from that guy, or both, are making me delusional...Yep...That's makes perfects sense, and is in no way a lie.

With that thought settled, Jason turned to the nurse, and finally addressed himself.

"My apologies for that. I think it might have something to do with the medicine."

The nurse simply nodded, while adorning a face of shock.

"Ah so you do talk. That is very good to know, because you see, the Princess would like to have a word with you. As for your medicine, we did give you a pretty heavy painkiller. You had taken quite a nasty fall before you were brought in. The reason your hooked up is because we were unsure of what effects the painkillers would have on you, and we wanted to be sure there wouldn't be any... complications," the nurse replied while writing something down on her clipboard.

Princess? She must have said podiatrist, and I just heard Princess. And a nasty fall? I'd think that a nurse would know what a beat down was if they saw it. And I guess she wanted to make sure I didn't have any allergic reactions to the painkillers. Smart girl for that part. But what I don't understand is...If I am loopy...why is it only my vision of her is distorted, while everything else seems to make sense? Including my thoughts? I better start getting answers, fast.

"Yes I do talk. It's pleasure to meet you. My name is Jason Hunt. Now, what exactly do you mean by 'fall'? Didn't you find any bruises on me? You know, like from a fight? I'm pretty sure the reason I'm here is because someone drugged me, then beat the tar out of me," Jason said with a frown on his face.

The nurse grew a confused look before replying, "Uh...well Jason Hunt, It's nice to meet you too. My name is Heart Lift. While we didn't find any bruises or marking on your body that might have been from a fight, we did find several injuries that suggested to you falling. You're very lucky that you don't have any broken bones. Most ponies who fall from great heights, tend to pop a few things out of place. You however, managed to make out with just losing consciousness, and getting a few bumps. That reminds me, you were found in the garden. The tallest things there are the statues, so even if you were to jump from one of them, you would just get a few bruises, but not lose consciousness. So...where exactly did you jump from?" She suddenly gasped as a thought struck her. "DID A PEGASUS DROP YOU?!"

Not a beating....a fall. Did she say...ponies? Yeah...I think she did. Who's garden is she talking about? And a pegasus dropping me? Ugh...this is getting too weird for me.  I'm getting more questions than answers! That bastard better pay up when I find him. I think I might even demand a raise.

"Wait wait wait...Ponies? Garden? PEGASUS?! What the heck are you talking about?" Jason asked while giving her the best 'are you serious' face he could muster. Before she could attempt to calm him down, and explain the situation to him, the door opened, revealing Spotless.

"The Princess and I grow impatient. Is the creature awake yet nurse Lift?" Spotless asked, while stepping into the room, in his usual swagger. Something about this 'pony' didn't sit right with Jason. For one, he looked out of place. Not a hospital ,mind you, but this whole area Everything and everyone  else in the room was bursting with brightness and color, everything but Jason, and this pony. Though he still held more color then Jason, he just seemed darker then everything in contrast to the room. He sensed that nurse Light felt the same way about this pony, when she turned and said in a nervous way, "Er yes Spotless. He woke up just moments ago." She hid behind her clipboard after addressing him.

Spotless simply nodded before replying, "Very good. Does it speak?"

Jason didn't like the way he refereed to him. Any sense of awkwardness he felt for this pony, was instantly replaced with anger. Before Nurse Light could say anything, Jason took this as an opportunity to put this guy in his place.

"Yes 'it' can talk. 'It' also has a name, and feelings. And, 'it' doesn't like when someone refers to 'it' as an 'it'. "It" also doesn't like people with your kind of attitude." Jason said with a snarl. He may have been in a hospitable bed, but that didn't mean he was going to let this guy kick him with insults while he was down. Jason had expected the pony to become infuriated. However, a very strange thing occurred to both nurse Light, and Jason. He smiled.

Something about that smile though...made Jason wish that he had made the guy mad instead. It was just so...unsettling and unnatural. Sort of like seeing a shark's mouth on a sheep. Whatever that feeling was, it was creeping Jason right the fuck out. But before he could offer an apology to hopefully make Spotless stop smiling, he simply kept smiling and said, "Oh really..." Jason gulped at the way he said that

What's up with this guy?

"Well then...by all means, tell me your name Mr...?", Spotless said, while still holding that creepy ass smile. It seemed to be plastered on to his face at this point. That glint in his eyes, only added to the level of creepiness he gave off. Swallowing his growing fear, Jason replied, "J-Jason sir. Jason Hunt."

Spotless only smiled wider, much to both Jason and nurse Light's discomfort.

"Well now...at least you have enough manners to refer to me as 'sir'. It is a pleasure to meet you Jason. I am Spotless, Princess Celestia's  and Princess Luna's personal butler and chef."

Something tells me he made the old chef and butler quit. Or he just...killed them. Jason turned from his thoughts as Spotless continued with his introduction.

"I have served both Princesses for many years Mr. Hunt., and quite frankly, I've dealt with your kind before. You question authority when you do not understand your own place, you feel that someone owes you something in return for your 'mediocre' and self proclaimed achievements, and you don't think that people like me should have any authority in the world." Spotless said, while slowly moving toward the bed.

Oh god he's going to kill me! Quick nurse Light! Throw me out the window! Jason thought desperately, while momentarily looking to where nurse Light would be. What greeted him instead, was a small bedside table with a lamp on it. Looking more towards the door, he discovered that it had been opened wider then before. OH DAMMIT! SHE LEFT ME IN HERE WITH THIS PSYCHO! Jason turned to spotless, hoping he would say he was punked or something.. His heart rate monitor was beeping faster and faster as the pony approached.

Once Spotless was at the edge of the bed, he stopped with that same expression held as he said, "Now...let me tell you something about me Mr. Hunt." He edged his face closer to Jason's in an attempt to freak him out. It was working marvelously. Too bad for Jason though, because he was sure that he would see that face in his dreams for months. With only inches separating their face's, Spotless whispered, "I am a pony who had to work for his position. I've had to work my fingers to the bone to get this job. Sure my methods might have been...questionable. But the important thing is, I got the job, and that I'm the best at it. Oh, and one last thing you should know about me Mr. Hunt...I. Don't. Like. Your. Kind. You are all just disease ridden filth, who contribute nothing to society. If it were not for the Princesses' kindness towards this situation, you would find yourself in a much worse place then a hospital bed. Now...you are not in any way, to talk to the Princess with the disrespect you just showed me. Otherwise,her kindness towards you might falter, allowing me to make a...suggestion. Do we understand each other Mr. Hunt?"

Jason simply nodded, unable to speak due to fear. I don't believe this...I've killed several people just like this guy, and yet...none of them made me feel like THIS before...I think I should do as he says.

"Excellent!", Spotless replied while returning to a tall standing figure. "Now that we have that settled, I think it is time you met the pony who was kind enough to allow you to live. Your majesty, if you would please grace us with your presence? Spotless announced while moving to a corner of the room.

Jason used every ounce of power he had left, to look away from spotless, and towards the door. What emerged, left Jason breathless. In had walked the most beautiful creature that he ever laid eyes on. She was curvy in all the right places, very fit, and was...ahem... 'well endowed'. She seemed to glow with pure beauty, her eyes were just so...inviting. Two large pools of pink, that he found he wanted to dive into. Looking towards her head he noticed...a horn. And on her back, she had a set of wings.

Wait...what the hell is wrong with me?! I forgot she's a pony. Still...she is very attractive. I'd certainly hit that.

And that's when the worst possible thing that could happen, happened. Jason grew hard at her sight. Seeing this as an insult, Spotless wasted no time in charging at Jason, and choking the poor love-struck bastard. As the last drops of life left Jason he uttered, "Boobies...."

Nah I'm just kidding. What did happen however, made much more sense.

Jason had managed to control his member from growing hard. It wasn't difficult once he reminded himself over and over again that she wasn't a human, no matter how much she looked like one. When she was mere feet from the bed she spoke in a very calming, motherly tone.

"Hello young one, I am Princess Celestia. What is your name?", she asked with an innocent smile. At this, Jason reached out, squeezed her boob, and said "HONK! HONK!" In response to his fondling, Celestia ripped off his arm, and began to beat him to death with it.

Just kidding, again. Sorry. I wont do it again. Seriously.

So anyway...after she had introduced herself, she pulled out a nearby chair that Jason hadn't noticed earlier. After she was settled, Jason replied, "Jason Hunt your majesty."

He he... Never thought I would get a chance to meet royalty.

"Jason Hunt....hmm, a strange name. Does it mean anything?"

What?

"Um...not that I'm aware of your majesty," Jason replied.  Celestia chuckled at his discomfort, making Jason's stomach feel weak. She had an absolutely adorable laugh.

"There is no need to refer to me as 'your majesty'. You may simply call me Celestia, And please, do not feel nervous," she said with that sweet smile on her face.

Now THAT is a natural smile. Absolutely nothing wrong with that smile at all.

"Sure your maj- I mean...Celestia," Jason replied, still nervous.

"Well Jason, as you are aware, you are in a hospital. Do you know why?"

"Um...nurse Heart Lift said I was found in a  garden with injuries that suggested to me falling from a great height. That wouldn't have been your garden...would it?", Jason asked.

"Yes, it was my garden," Celestia replied. "But do you remember anything before that? More specifically, how you got here? I am fairly certain that a creature like you does not exist on Equestria, as your clothing and personal belongings strongly suggest that.

So this place is called Equestria eh? Wait...these ponies were going through my crap while I was unconscious? Oh I am so screwed...

Celestia, sensing Jason's nervousness, tried to calm him down. "Do not worry, your things are in the same condition as when we found them. You can have them back after explaining what they are, and what purpose they serve. But first, you should answer  my previous question."Jason gave a sigh of relief at that.

Now I just have to think of an excuse about the weapons. Maybe if...yeah I got nothing.

"Well...the last thing I remembered before waking up in this hospital, was some strange guy who had come to me with a job offer. After I accepted the job, I remember feeling like being sucked through a garden hose at high speeds, then slammed into a brick wall."

"And what was the job this 'strange guy' offered you?"

Oh crap! Think fast!

"He asked me to find someone," Jason blurted out.

Nice one me! Your not technically lying either. However, I don't think she needs to know what your going to do when you find Twilight. Hey we remembered her name! I wonder if Celestia knows her...If she does...then this could be bad, It would  probably a good idea that she also doesn't know who I'm looking for.

"Who did he ask you to find?" Celestia asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I uh...I cant remember honestly. All I remember is the pain after I made that deal. I'm not really sure why he would want me to find this person either, but I get the feeling that whoever it is, is here in Equestria," Jason responded with a look of confusion on his face.

A world of ponies called Equestria...how original, Jason thought with extreme sarcasm.

Celestia studied Jason for a moment. Something about his response didn't sit right. But, she decided to ignore it for now and move on. There was one other matter concerning her greatly. With that in mind, she asked, "Do you think you could explain to me and Spotless the objects that we found you with?", Celestia asked in a serious tone.His explanation of a request to find somepony from a strange man, makes me even more worried about what exactly these things are.

Jason blinked at her question. "Uh...sure I guess. I kind of do want them back."

Celestia simply nodded before turning to the door and saying, " Sergeant Night Light, would you please bring in Jason's belongings?"

Night Light, who had been stationed to guard from the outside and had heard everything, responded with a simple, "At once your majesty."

How long as he been there?! Is his name seriously Night Light?!

After a few minutes, a new pony came through the door holding a very familiar bag, along with a holster holding Jason's gun.

Hello my old friend. Glad to see that they haven't hurt you.

Looking away from his colt, Jason turned to look at the pony carrying his stuff. He had purple fur and bat wings. Coolest thing I've seen so far. Hanging from either side of the pony's mouth, Jason could make out something sharp. Fangs? Is she working with vampires!? Oh god...how many scary creatures does she need to protect her!?

"Here you are your majesty," said Night Light. He then turned and left then room. After he was out of the room, Celestia began to dig into Jason's bag for some of his items.

"Now we were able to recognize some of your objects as weapons and some miscellaneous tools. So we have them in our custody. You can have them back, only after we find out your intentions for having them," Celestia said.

"I assure you Celestia, they are for self defense only," Jason replied.

Huh...two for two. Not bad. Keep this up, and we'll beat our previous record.

"Well, just to be safe, I think we'll hold on to them a little longer. Now then, what is this strange device?", Celestia asked, pulling out a flat black rectangular box.

"That is an iPod. It's used for many forms of entertainment. I just use it to listen to music to," Jason answered, a smile on his face.

Why did I pack that thing anyway? Oh yea. I brought it for the stake out part of the job.

Celestia rose an eyebrow at his answer. "You mean to tell me that this tiny thing is capable of playing music?" Jason nodded. "But, how?"

"Here, let me have it and I'll show you."

Celestia hesitated, before remembering that Spotless was there. If he had a chat with Spotless, then I'm sure he wouldn't try anything.

Once Jason had his iPod back, he turned it on and began flipping through his music in an attempt to find something appropriate for a princess to hear. After a couple of seconds of searching, he found the perfect  song to listen to.

Jason was happy when he noticed Celestia tapping her lap and bobbin her head to the beat. Turning to a corner in the room, Jason found Spotless...standing there with a bored expression. Buzz kill. After the song faded out, Jason turned off the iPod and put it next to his pillow.

Celestia gave him a sad frown and said, "Oh that was a great song! Why did you make the music stop?"

"Well the song was over for one. And for two, these things have battery life. I need to preserve as much of it as I can. If the battery runs out, then no music for anyone," Jason replied. Celestia gave a little pout at that, but respected his wishes to keep his music player alive.

She began to dig into the bag again, and pulled out the roll of quarters. Oh you got to be kidding me...They don't have currency here?

Before Celestia could ask, Jason simply said "It's money. Quarters to be specific.The paper wrapped around it is just to keep count of a certain amount of quarters."

"I see...,' responded Celestia, not at all insulted at his outburst. If he is willing to cooperate then I can forgive him. But I will have a talk with him later about that. "So humans use quarters as currency? In Equestria, we use gold bits."

"Well...quarters are only part of it. We have pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters as change. We mostly use paper currency with dollar bills. The one, the five, the ten, the twenty, the fifty, and my personal favorite, the 100," Jason said with a smile on his face. Talking about money usually put him in a good mood.

Celestia was confused at his explanation though. "So...if humans use these 'dollar bills' then what purpose does change serve?"

"Lets see...how to explain this. Ok, so basically, the penny is the lowest amount out there. It equals out to once cent. The nickel is next in line, taking up the position of five cents. After that is the dime, which is worth ten cents. And finally the quarter, which is the most used of all the change, equaling out to twenty five cents. Anyway, it takes one hundred cents to equal a dollar. So if you have enough change, you can exchange them for bills. Or, just use them in place. Change can also be used to even out a sale, if the item is over a certain dollar, but under another. In this way, people are avoiding receiving change"

Celestia nodded at his explanation of change and bills. And with that settled, she put the roll of quarters on the night stand. She reached into the bag again to pull out a familiar looking pair of goggles.

"Ah those things. Brand new by the way, so I must ask that you be very careful with them. They seem to look fine, so I'll guess they haven't been damaged yet."

"Of course they haven't. But pray tell, what are they?", Celestia asked while turning them around in her hand, careful not to let them drop.

'Those are a very special brand of goggles that I call, ICU. The reason behind the name is, they can see just about anything. They have x-ray, thermal, and night vision. They can also zoom in to 350X vision, allowing me to see things from very far away. This lovely pair of goggles cost me $5000 dollars." And they're worth every penny.

"How do the work?", Celestia asked, putting on the goggles.

"There should be three small buttons on the right side. On the left side, is a small wheel that you turn to adjust the zoom."

Celestia, very excited to try out the goggles, pushed a random button on the side. What she was greeted with, was something very new to the princess. Everything that was cold in the room, provided a blue color, while everything that had heat in it, was in a red and orange hue. She looked over at Spotless and noticed a green mist form from behind him. Ignoring the strange coloration, she decided to switch to x-ray vision while turning towards Jacob.

She immediately blushed, tore off the goggles, and put them on the nightstand. After a second of awkwardness, Celestia said, "I...I think I understand how these work. No need for further explanation. Let's continue shall we?" Why in the world would he want something that lets you see...that?! Humans are strange creatures.

After about an hour, Jacob had completed his explanation of all the objects in his bag, which included; everything mentioned in the previous paragraphs, a deck of poker cards, a cell phone, and his lucky coin. The only thing that had yet to be explained was the colt 45. Jacob was torn between telling her the truth so she could confiscate it, or just lying to her so he could keep it. If she found out it was a weapon, then she defiantly wouldn't let him have it. Unless he gave her a good reason to...The idea struck him as soon as she pulled up the gun, while still in its holster.

"Princess Celestia...I'm going to be honest with you on that thing. It is a weapon." Celestia raised an eyebrow at that, and turned to call for Night Light to take it into custody. Before she could however, Jacob yelled,

"WAIT! Here me out!"

Celestia turned back and raised an eyebrow. Jacob took this as an opportunity to work his magic. "Please Princess Celestia, it is so much more to me than a simple weapon. It is a great gift that's been passed through my family for generations. It's got me out of a lot of tough situations, and I imagine it can get me out of many more. Besides, I'm not exactly keen on facing the repercussions for killing anyone here. So far, I don't feel the need to kill anyone here. But I do want to hold on to it. Just so it can bring me comfort, knowing that I have the option to protect myself you know? Please, keep my other weapons, just....let me keep my gun. Don't take away my baby." At that last sentence, Jacob had a single tear form from his left eye, and fall lazily down his cheek.

Three years of drama school better pay off!

Celestia seemed to ponder his inquisition for a moment. She didn't feel comfortable knowing he had a weapon of any kind. But, he had been very cooperative throughout the interview, and he had even said she could keep the other weapons. After a few moments of thought, Celestia decided that it would be ok for him to keep on to it for memorable purposes. But she needed to make sure he didn't use it to hurt her subjects. So, she cast a magic spell on the weapon, that would cause it to turn to dust if he used it ever again. After all, he just wanted it for the memorabilia, and there was certainly no harm in that.

As Celestia was handing the gun to Jason, her eyes fell on the iPod, and a thought struck her. Before the gun reached Jacobs palms, she pulled back slightly, and kept it there. Jacob raised an eyebrow her actions, to which she simply smiled and explained, "I will give you back your gun on two conditions. Number one, you will not use it to harm anyone or anything. It is solely for you to hold on to for memory. Understand?" Jason nodded eagerly.

CONGRATULATIONS! THREE GOOD IDEAS IN A ROW! IT'S A NEW RECORD!

"And my second condition, I would like your iPod," Celestia added with a smirk.

...FUCK!

"My iPod?", Jason asked. "But why?"

"Well my sister's birthday is today and I...might have forgotten to get her something after promising her that I was going to get her something amazing. Your iPod should make the perfect gift for her," Celestia replied.

With no other option to get his gun back, Jason took the deal.

"Fine take the iPod. Just...promise to be careful with it," Jason said, handing over the mentioned device.

And just like that, the trade was done. Jason had his gun back, and Celestia had a present for Luna. Everybody wins. But there was something bugging Jason now that this whole ordeal was over. What do I do now?

"Princess Celestia," Jason began, "what do I do now?"

Celestia smiled in response. 'Well since you were helpful and cooperative in answering my questions, I think it only be fair if I return the favor. After you are checked out of the hospital, I will have a chariot waiting to take you off to meet someone who can help you with your job. If this person that hired you trying to find someone, I see no harm in that. I just ask that you be careful in your quest."

"Relax your majesty. I already promised that I wouldn't harm any of your subjects or any animals," Jason replied with a smirk.

"You are right. Now then, get some rest. You should be able to leave tomorrow morning. When you leave the building, a chariot will be waiting to take you to Princess Twilight Sparkles house."

No fucking way...I AM THE LUCKIEST FUCKER ALIVE!