Chapters One particular day in Ponyville, when the sun was at it’s apex in the sky, the little town was buzzing with activity. There was work to be done; apples to pick, mail to deliver, baked goods to bake. It was your typical Monday afternoon, and everypony knew exactly what had to be done that day.
Everypony knew exactly what needed to be done today, but Pinkie Pie, of course. She had spent the entire night sitting in her chair, trying not to giggle as she rocked back in forth amongst the books in Twilight Sparkle’s tree house. Twilight herself was sound asleep in her bed, while Pinkie waited impatiently for her friend to wake up.
The pink earth pony checked the numerous watches that decorated her hoof. It was already 10 minutes past 5:00 AM, or so she was told by the limited edition Ponyacci The Clown watch, not to mention her many other, less important but still equally as accurate watches.
Another minute passed, and Twilight was still sound asleep. Pinkie’s mind was blown; how could somepony as productive as Twilight still be asleep on a day like this? Here Pinkie was, trying to seize the day, and all her friend could do was lie in bed, like a pile of rocks. The nerve of some ponies!
Maybe something was wrong with Twilight, Pinkie realized with a gasp. What if her friend had been possessed by the spirit of a lazy orange cat with a taste for lasagna, and now she couldn’t get out of bed? What would the Princess think? Pinkie began bouncing around the room nervously as she tried to think of how to save her friend. She left her magic bag of marbles at home, and she lend her party cannon to Vinyl ( her bass cannon was out for repairs. For some reason, this weird fish kept being fired out of it.) Pinkie had to return all of the instruments that she’d used to scare away the parasprites. Oh, what was she to do? She flopped on top of a pile of books in hopeless defeat.
Suddenly, the enormous pile of books began to topple. Its weight shifted, and it tilted towards Twilight’s bed, with Pinkie on top of it. As the pile picked up momentum, Pinkie wasn’t able to jump off in time, and found herself falling into the bed with her friend….and a mountain of books.
“Timber!” Pinkie hollered like a lumberjack. Twilight woke with a start and looked around for the source of the noise. She spotted the grinning pink yodeler atop the avalanche of academic artifacts and her eyes widened.
“What in Eques-“
WHUMP!
The mountain of books crashed into the bed with an incredible noise, waking Spike up. He looked over to see Twilight in bed, covered in a mountain of books, along with….Pinkie Pie? The excitable pony was already on her feet, hoofs on either side of Twilight.
“Omigosh Twilight! You have to let me use your computer! I found the greatest thing ever!” Pinkie jumped back as her friend climbed out of the books.
“Pinkie?” Twilight was trying to make sense of all this confusion. “How long have you been here? It’s only five in the morning!”
“Eighteen years, seventeen days, four hours, three minutes and two seconds. No wait, three seconds! No, four, five, six…” Pinkie kept scratching something off of a notepad she had procured.
Twilight slapped her face with a hoof.
“No, I mean how long have you been watching me sleep?”
Pinkie waved her hoof in a frivolous gesture.
“Watch you sleep? Really Twilight, I’m flattered and all, but I’m not weird! Who watches ponies sleep? Talk about cray-zee!”
Twilight rubbed her eyes.
“What was so important that I needed to be woken up so early?”
Pinkie burst into random laughter. Spike and Twilight exchanged worried looks.
“Uh, Pinkie? What’s so funny?” Spike asked.
Pinkie got a hold of herself.
“It’s just funny that Twilight asked what I needed, which sounds just like kneaded, like what you do to dough, whjich is why I’m here!” She burst into laughter again, rolling around on the floor. “Funny, right?”
“Right!” Twilight put on a smile for her friend. “What was it you ‘kneaded’ again?” Twilight put little air quotes around ‘kneaded’, so her friend would know she was in on the joke.
Pinkie was not amused.
“Oh come on, Twilight! That joke’s nearly ten seconds old! Get some new material!” Pinkie led the way downstairs. Twilight looked at Spike, who shrugged, and the two followed her downstairs.
Pinkie bounced through the house, around furniture and on top of several book piles, which swayed but didn’t fall over. Twilight, with Spike hitching a ride on her back, followed a less precarious route around the book piles. Pinkie bounced in place next to her friend’s computer, an incredibly large looking machine that most ponies had never heard of.
Twilight approached the computer and turned it on. Pinkie clapped her hooves excitedly as the machine hummed to life.
“Just you wait, Twilight! This is the greatest thing ever!”
Twilight yawned.
“If you say so. What are we looking for?”
Pinkie tackled her friend out of the way, and began typing furiously. Twilight watched as her friend typed an address into the address bar, and slapped the enter key.
A large screen appeared, with a strange list of blacked out items to the far right. The list included things like cursors, grandmas, farms and rocket ships. On the other side of the screen was a large chocolate chip cookie. Small text at the top of the screen read:
You feel like baking, but nopony wants to eat your cookies.
Pinkie grabbed her friend.
“Do you see this?” She shouted excitedly. “Isn’t it great?”
“Sure…what is it?” Twilight eyed the screen, trying to make sense of it all.
“It’s Cookie Clicker! All you have to do is click the giant cookie!” Pinkie clicked the cookie to show her how it was done.
Twilight nodded.
“Impressive. You woke me up for a video game.”
Pinkie gasped.
“Just a game? Just a game!? Baking is my whole life! How could you be so insensitive?” She threw a withering look at Twilight, who looked sheepish.
“I didn’t mean it like that Pinkie-“
“No, no, you were right! It looks like it really is just a game! And if I’m not wanted, then I’ll take my game elsewhere!” Pinkie Pie attempted to pick up the computer, and failed. She tried again and again with similar results.
“Well, I’m going to sit right here, then, and click cookies without talking to you!” She looked away from Twilight and began clicking fiercely. Twilight watched her for a second before sighing. She turned to her favorite assistant.
“Come on Spike, lets leave her to her…”
Spike wasn’t on her back. He was sitting next to Pinkie totally engrossed in the game.
“How many cookies can we bake, Pinkie?”
“Millions! No, Billions! Dozens even!”
“Cool! Sign me up!”
Twilight laughed despite herself. Those two could have their fun, she thought. By the end of the day, Pinkie would be sick of the game, and she would go home.
Author's Note
Hopefully this hasn't been done before. I didn't expect an idea like this to stay up for grabs for too long, anyway.
If there is a fanfiction somewhere that plays out like this, please send me the link so I can verify, and shut this one down.
Hopefully you guys enjoy! I'm going to try and finish this one before I have to visit family for the holidays.
Pinkie did not go home. She sat in front of Twilight’s computer, clicking all day long. As Twilight cleaned, she heard them shouting about an “anti matter condenser” and “one trillion cookies”. Twilight sighed. She had underestimated Pinkie, once again.
Night fell upon the town, and Pinkie was still hard at work. Twilight and Spike had both gone to bed, and Pinkie was still downstairs, hard at work. For hours, she tried to get some sleep, but to no avail; Pinkie’s game was keeping her from the eight hours she desperately needed.
Twilight got out of bed and stomped down the steps. Pinkie was still actively pursuing her ultimate goal; her eyes glued to the screen, and a neverending smile plastered on her face. Twilight marched right past her and shut the computer off.
“That is enough, Pinkie! I can’t get any sleep with you playing this stupid thing!”
Pinkie looked deflated.
“But Twilight, I-“
“No buts! I need sleep, and you need sleep. The princess is coming for a visit tomorrow, and you can’t just sit there playing my computer forever.”
Her friend looked crestfallen. “But… I was just trying to bake cookies.”
Twilight calmed down. She gave her friend a small hug, and then helped her to her hooves.
“I’m sorry Pinkie, but I really need my sleep. Besides, it’s not like they were real cookies or something, right?”
Pinkie cracked a smile.
“Yeah,” she giggled. “It would be impossible for me to bake that many cookies.” She started laughing at the thought.
Twilight laughed too.
“Just imagine how much unicorn magic you would need to even try and make that many cookies!”
Pinkie’s ears perked up.
“That’s it!” She grabbed her friend excitedly and began to shake her. “I know how I can bake cookies.”
“With an oven?” Twilight guessed.
“No, something even better!” Pinkie bounced up and down excitedly. “I have to go, Twilight. You should get some rest for tomorrow!” Pinkie bounced out the door, and down the street.
Twilight sighed with relief and shut the door behind her, then trotted back upstairs and before she knew it, she was fast asleep.
While Twilight was snoring fitfully, the front door opened, just a bit. A stealthy pink object crept into the room, and up the stairs. Stopping at the foot of Twilight’s bed, it silently picked up the sleeping unicorn by the hooves and began to lift her up…with limited success.
Instead, the intruder grabbed her by the hoof and began to drag her down the stairs, Twilight’s head making a solid thunk every time it hit a stair.
Twilight mumbled in her sleep, but remained asleep. Her kidnapper paused at the bottom of the stairs, and instead of dragging her out the door, pulled her towards the computer. Pulling a foldable torture rack from her saddle bag, the home invader set Twilight on the upright-standing table, and strapped her down, in a starfish position. Then, the strange pony booted up the computer.
Twilight woke up the next morning to the gentle hum of her computer. Groaning loudly, she moved to rub the sleep from her eyes, and found she couldn’t move her hooves. Blinking rapidly, she finally noticed Pinkie standing at her side with an immense grin.
“Pinkie Pie? What’s going on?” She looked around at the computer room. Pinkie had set up an elaborate looking machine out of spare parts, but it was so difficult to identify, Twilight couldn’t make sense of it. Pinkie herself carried a jumper cable in her mouth and was waiting patiently.
Pinkie spat out the jumper cable.
“It was about time you woke up!” The earth pony said brightly. “I wasn’t sure if it would work while you were asleep!”
“What wouldn’t work? What are you talking about?” Twilight was getting annoyed. Celestia was going to visit the tree house today, and she had to prepare.
“Well, you said that it would take a lot of unicorn magic to create cookies, so I thought what if I hooked a unicorn up to a giant printer so I could click cookies and make them real? So I set up this giant printer, and hooked it up to this computer, and now I’m gonna hook you up to the computer so I can make a billion cookies!” Pinkie replied cheerfully.
Twilight was incredulous.
“I don’t think that’s even scientifically possible!” She objected.
“Oh relax, Twilight! What do you have to lose? If it works, I can give everypony free cookies! If it doesn’t work, I let you go! Easy as that!” Pinkie hooked the jumper cable up to Twilight’s horn.
“Pinkie, will you cut it out, and let me go? The princess is going to be here in just a few hours, and I need to clean this place up!”
Pinkie ignored her, and started up the computer, and opened up Cookie Clicker. The page sat at the ready, and Pinkie clapped her hooves gleefully.
“Pinkie I’m serious!” Twilight’s cries were ignored as her friend moused over the giant cookie.
“Pinkie!”
Pinkie’s hoof hovered over the mouse, descending almost in slow motion. Then she sped up, and slammed her hoof down.
“Click!”
Twilight’s gut suddenly lurched, and a random cookie burst into existence from the tip of her horn. It fell to the ground in front of Twilight, and Pinkie picked it up to examine it. She eyeballed it for a second, then ate it in one swift bite. Twilight looked on as Pinkie shrieked like a madpony.
“It’s delicious! It worked!” She rejoiced.
“Can I go now?” Twilight asked, a bit fearfully.
Pinkie looked at her like she was crazy.
“I can’t stop now! Not when there are so many cookies to bake!” She turned back to the mouse, and began to click furiously. More cookies burst into existence, though Twilight fought against it. Soon, the floor was littered with cookies, and the library smelled of chocolate chips. Twilight hoped that Pinkie would get tired of baking quickly and take up a less daunting hobby, like writing fanfiction.
Then again, this was Pinkie Twilight was thinking about.
Twilight had the feeling this would not end well., and as the cookies began piling up, she figured she was probably right.
Author's Note
This story was supposed to be short, I swear. But from the looks of things, it's going to take a while for me to finish. Still, have computer, will write! More to come soon!
Pinkie clicked rapidly at first, just for the thrill of seeing cookies fly across the room. As her hoof got tired, though, she began to focus her efforts on more efficient ways to produce cookies.
She clicked a box, and Twilight looked up wearily to see a large, floating white glove hovering above her head.
“Pinkie…what is that?” She asked weakly.
“It’s a cursor silly! It’s going to do some of the clicking for me!” As if on queue, the cursor jabbed at the air, and another cookie materialized out of thin air. This one didn’t hurt Twilight at all; it must have come from somewhere else.
“So that thing will do your job for you? Does that mean I can be let go now?” She sounded hopeful.
“Nope! This little guy isn’t nearly efficient enough! All he does is create a cookie every ten seconds! Can you imagine waiting ten seconds for a cookie!?” She clicked furiously on the mouse, and Twilight’s body had a spasm as nine more cursors popped into existence.
“There we go! Now we get a cookie per second!” Pinkie cheered as cookies popped into existence at a constant rate, and scooped up a hoof full to gobble down.
Twilight strained against her chains.
“Pinkie, this has gone on long enough! You need to let me go!”
Pinkie just giggled and turned her attention to the machine.
“I won’t stop until I’ve made ALL of the cookies!” She declared, clicking the mouse rapidly. More and more cookies popped into reality as Twilight squirmed in her seat. If she could only get this jumper cable off her horn, she could teleport to safety…but she couldn’t do that until Pinkie was distracted, and how would she even get rid of the cable without magic? She didn’t have time to think about that as Pinkie clicked another box, and something else warped into view.
“Eh? What’s that, dear?” Granny Smith raised a hoof to her ear, as though she had heard Twilight say something.
“Pinkie!” Twilight gasped. “You kidnapped Applejack’s Granny!?”
“Nope!” Pinkie giggled. “I created her! Now she can help me bake cookies!”
The old mare brightened up at that.
“I love to make cookies!” She declared.
“Then go forth, Granny!” Pinkie pointed towards the kitchen. “Go forth and make me some cookies!”
Granny moved quickly towards the kitchen, and began moving around like a professional, popping the first batch into the oven in no time. Twilight found herself watching her bake with great interest as she nimbly navigated Twilight’s cupboards, retrieving ingredients she didn’t even know she had purchased in the first place. It was scientifically astounding, if a little creepy.
Pinkie still wasn’t satisfied. She clicked the box several more times, and four more Granny Smiths burst into existence from Twilight’s horn, which had begun to go numb from all the spell casting.
“Onward minions,” Pinkie declared. “Seek out the closest kitchens and bake, bake, bake!”
The Grannies shuffled out of the tree house, mumbling about cookies. Through the open door, Twilight could see everypony stare at the Granny coalition as they hobbled past. She watched them open the doors to random houses, and stumble inside. The occupants either fled or attempted to scare off the old mares with brooms. The elderly bakers persevered and continued to bake, despite everypony’s reactions.
“Pinkie, this is insane! Just look at what’s happening outside!”
Pinkie took no notice.
“Just relax, Twilight. We’ll be done real soon, as I click, click, click!”
Meanwhile, Princess Celestia’s carriage had finally arrived in Ponyville. A curious storm was brewing, though no weather had been scheduled for today, as far as she knew. Still, she was looking forward to visiting her favorite student today, and to see how much she’d learned about friendship. A couple ponies were screaming about something in the streets, but Celestia couldn’t understand what they were saying. They were shouting something about “Granny Invasions”, or so she thought she heard. It could wait; she wanted to pay her pupil a visit.
The door was slightly ajar, and as Celestia approached it, a trio of similar looking old women emerged, marching down the street, mumbling to themselves. Celestia watched them walk off with confusion before she turned back to the house. What was going on in there?
“Twilight?” She called as she poked her head inside the door. “Twilight Sparkle, are you in-“
Inside the house, Celestia saw a very bizarre sight. The lights in the tree house were turned off, there was an incredible mess everywhere, and the room smelled of cookies. An old mare that looked similar to the three that had just left the house was busy baking cookies in the kitchen, and another two popped into existence randomly. In the furthest corner of the room, she saw her prize student strapped to an uncomfortable looking chair with a cable hooked to her horn. Next to her, her friend Pinkie Pie was clicking a computer mouse obsessively, screaming “Click” at the top of her lungs. A small strike team of computer cursors flew around the room, clicking everything, including books, walls, thin air and Twilight’s belly, forcing cookies into existence with each click.
Twilight looked towards the door to see her mentor surveying the scene with a look of apt confusion. Twilight looked around, taking in the scene herself, and despaired. What would Celestia think of all this? It didn’t matter; if she could get Celestia to free her, she could fix this mess.
“Help me!” She called to her teacher. Celestia just stared back, and wordlessly closed the door. Twilight howled with frustration as more cookies spilled onto the floor.
Celestia tried to process what she had just seen, then thought better of it. Maybe she’d put too much stress on Twilight, and it had caused her to snap? Maybe she just had a strange way of showing her affection for her friend? Whatever the case, Celestia decided she would head home and lie down a minute. Maybe she’d been working too hard herself…
Rainbow Dash hadn’t noticed the large influx of Granny Smith imposters recently. She’d been working on her routine for her Wonderbolts tryout…again. She flew at impossible fast speeds, pulled off some sick tricks, and was even able to fly backwards. Now all she needed was a boss landing.
She rocketed high into the air, weaving around larger clouds, and smashing through the lighter ones. As she broke through the cloud line, she noticed a rather daunting stretch of strange clouds that covered the sky, blotting out the sun. These clouds were thick and dark…or rather, brown…that was almost as weird as the fact that they seemed to stretch on forever.
Rainbow surveyed the strange looking clouds. There wasn’t supposed to be any weather like this at all this week. And yet, here they were, and they weren’t the strange, pink clouds Discord created either, nor were they those weird Everfree Forest clouds. Still, Rainbow wasn’t about to let a little weather get in her way.
She wound up for a burst of speed and flew as fast as she possibly could towards the never-ending ceiling of clouds. If she could hit it fast enough, she could bash straight through. She flapped her wings furiously as she neared the clouds, straining to build as much speed as she could. And when she finally reached the cloud, she smashed into it with all her might.
The cloud remained unmoved, and the cyan Pegasus fell from the sky. She desperately tried to get her wings to support her, but to no avail. She crashed into the trees below her, slowing her descent before she landed in a heap on the ground.
Dazed and confused, Rainbow swore she could see cookies falling from the sky. Chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies, raisin oatmeal cookies, all kinds of cookies tumbled from the clouds.
Rainbow closed her eyes for a minute.
So that’s what it’s like to be Pinkie. She thought as she began to lose consciousness. Everything is made of baked goods.
All across Equestria, Ponies looked up to the sky to see cookies falling from the sky at an ever increasing pace. Some were confused; others delighted, a few had severe allergic reactions and died in the streets. But there were so many baked goods falling into the streets, who really noticed?
Author's Note
The next chapter is where things will begin to pick up. Expect a few laughs, some tears and a few moments that only a Pinkie Pie/ Cookie Clicker crossover could deliver! More to come!
Applejack was hard at work bucking apples, as per usual. She'd been hard at work at all day, kicking every tree in sight, amassing tonnes of the juicy, ripe fruits. It was hard, but satisfying work, and she enjoyed it so much she rarely saw it as work any more. To Applejack, this was just another form of relaxing.
Applejack continued to travel through Sweet Apple Acres oldest trees. She like these trees the most; they were old and strong, which meant they were harder to knock apples out of. But that meant that the apples were usually in greater quantities, and of much greater quality. So the hard work was always worth it, in her opinion.
The country mare stopped to examine her trees. They were all fine trees, with massive trunks and branches laden with fruit. Each one was a worthy challenger, and they all promised great results. But with so many trees to choose from, where should she start? She'd harvest all these apples, certainly, but the first tree was always special. She had to pick it with care, and with this in mind she wandered through the trees, finding imperfections on each tree. This one was too skinny, and the next a bit too fat. The apples on this one weren't ready and the apples on this one were over ripe. There were so many trees, where could she begin?
Then she found it: a large, sturdy tree with a massive canopy and impressive branches. The apples were ripe and delicious looking, a fine prize for anypony strong enough to shake them from the branches. This was the tree, the first-of-the-year-quality tree. It was perfect in every way, and it had Applejack's name written all over it.
She approached the tree in an instant readied herself, She braced herself for a moment, then slammed her hooves into the tree with a jarring crash. The branches swayed, but the apples didn't move. She kicked again, and again, both good strikes, but still the tree didn't yield. Not one to give up, she wound up for one last, mighty kick, and struck the trunk again. The branches gave way and the apples tumbled to the ground. Giving a cheer, she looked up to watch the apples fall from the tree, and was struck down by an unidentifiable object.
She wasn't hurt, only dazed momentarily. She quickly up to her hooves and shook her head to clear her slight dizziness. There was something on her muzzle, something...brown? She tried to look down her nose at it, but only saw an unfamiliar glob of dark brown goo. It could have been dirt, maybe, but why in Equestria would dirt be in her apple tree. Of course it could have been something worse...but again, it wasn't likely. She reached up with a hoof and touched the 'stuff', as she would call it until she figured out what it was. It was warm, really warm, and sticky, too. She examined it closer: Now that she could get a better look at it, it looked much more familiar almost like...
She looked around to see if anypony was around, then when she was sure she was alone, she gave her hoof a lick, and stared at it incredulously.
"What the hay?" She licked it again.
"Chocolate?" She looked up at the apple tree.
"What in tarna-?"
Applejack could barely believe her eyes. The tree's ripe, delicious fruit were suddenly and inexplicably popping out of existence. Literally popping, with an audible noise like popcorn. And in their place, large, steaming chocolate chip cookies popped into existence in their place. Everywhere she looked, more and more of the apples on this tree -on every tree- were being replaced by the tasty baked goods. Even the bark of the trees was slowly turning the golden brown color of the tasty treat.
The scent of the decadent treats filled the air, and Applejack heard her stomach growl. The cookies smelled incredibly good, like the homemade cookies Granny Smith might bake. But the Earth Pony knew better than to trust these strange apparitions. These were likely Discords work; she had to get some of these cookies to Twilight and figure out what was happening. Twilight usually knew what to do about strange goings on like this.
Suddenly, a scream interrupted Applejack's thought process. She looked in the direction of the scream in astonishment. That was Apple Bloom! She took off galloping towards the farmhouse at full speed, weaving between the strange trees, and leaping over strange cookie bushes, which had seemingly sprouted from nowhere. She had no idea what these strange trees were about, but something about it wasn't natural, that was for sure. But she couldn't worry about it at the moment, she had to find out what was distressing her sister. She made quick time, and arrived at the farmhouse quickly and barreled towards the door, but skidded to a halt when Apple Bloom leaped out in front of her.
"Don't go in there, Applejack!" The filly was terrified.
"Apple Bloom, what in th' hay is goin' on? Why're ya screamin'?"
"Th-there's something in the kitchen! Don't go in there, sis!"
"You wait here, sugar cube. Ah'm gonna take care of it." She stepped past the filly and through the door, ready to face whatever awaited her. Apple Bloom cowered behind her as she placed a hoof on the front door.
There was a clattering noise inside, like the banging of pots and pans. Applejack pushed open the door and sprang inside.
"Hold it right there, ya ornery...galoot?" Applejack's shout faltered into a confused stutter when she spotted the intruder.
Granny Smith turned around and lifted a hoof to her ear.
"What's that? Ya have to speak up." She shouted.
"Sorry Granny. Ah thought you were an intruder." She admitted, embarrassed.
The old mare waved her hoof dismissively.
"It's all right, young'n!" She turned back to the messy kitchen. Applejack looked at her surroundings. The kitchen was a mess of flour, eggs and sugar.
"Jes what are ya doin' in here, anyway, Granny?" She asked.
The old mare looked back at her.
"Ah'm makin cookies, of course!" She said in a monotonous voice.
"Cookies?" Applejack frowned. It seemed a strange coincidence for Granny to be making cookies on the same day as the weird incident in the orchard. Did she have something to do with it?
She didn't have time to think about it much more. Somepony outside screamed in terror, catching Applejack's attention. It was far away, but it was easy to figure out who was screaming. She bolted out of the house and took off down the dirt road.
"Ah've gotta go, little sis! Be back soon!" She called over her shoulder to the terrified filly, still hiding behind the door.
"But what about the monster?" Apple Bloom called back. When there was no answer, she gulped and turned towards the kitchen. Slowly, several more Granny Smiths shuffled past her into the kitchen. They began to pull ingredients from the cupboards, mixing dough and stuffing it into the oven. Apple Bloom slowly retreated from the house; the Grannies took little notice.
"Cookies..." They sighed in unison.
Apple Bloom gulped again, and crawled backwards into a pile of hay. She hoped AJ got back soon. She didn't like this at all.
Author's Note
I did my best to get you guys something to read this week. It's not my favourite chapter, and I intended to make it longer, but I wanted each chapter to be roughly the same size. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this new addition!