Operation Harvest

OFC

(Over-all Field Command)

The trip to the base had been a very talkative one, even if it was a one sided conversation.  Rainbow Dash had been chattering on about her tricks and so on, then somehow managing to link that to a rock full of gems and a bunch of Amish people partying.  Most of the men found it quite amusing and listened intently.

‘...and they’re still trying to get their cutie marks.  Say, where are your cutie marks anyway?’  Cutie mark?  What the hell was a cutie mark?  Maybe he should have been listening to what she was saying.

‘Sorry?’

‘Your cutie marks, I haven’t seen any.’  Hang on a minute.  Those were those pictures on their flanks, weren’t they?

‘We don’t have cutie marks.’  He wondered if it was called the same thing for males.  Personally, he thought stud stamp would be the ideal name, but that was just his opinion...  Twilight chimed in.

‘No cutie marks?  Then how do you know what your special talent is?’  Is that what they were for?

‘From experience, besides, we aren’t limited to one special talent.  You could do anything well if you gave it enough work.’  That seemed to make enough sense to the ponies.  They finally reached the gates of the camp, stopping just outside.  All three ponies gasped as the bushes suddenly came to life, advancing towards them, rifles in hand, but the squad seemed to be unfazed.   The bushes topped in a semi circle around them, and one of them came forward.  It lifted up part of the bush (the ghillie suits face covering case you haven’t got it yet) to reveal the beaming face of the sniper.

‘Hey there Lieutenant.’  He took a look at the ponies, having no trouble at all with the information he was digesting.  ‘Are these the locals?’  Banna was suprised.  He didn’t think anyone would be able to adapt to this information so quickly.

‘Uh, yeah.  How did you know?’  The sniper gestured to his ears.

‘I heard female voices, so unless one of you is in actual fact a woman, they are the only beings that could have done that, that is, assuming you didn’t bring any media devices along.’

‘Your powers of deduction amaze me.’ Said Banna rather flatly.  The sniper turned to the other soldiers and told them to get back to their positions.  Then gestured to a hidden soldier to open the gates, which they did.  Then he turned to the ponies, walking up to Twilight since the others had been hiding behind her.  He stuck out a hand.

‘Hello.’  He said enthusiastically.  Twilight slowly extended her hoof and he shook it.  She didn’t know what he had said since the spell had only effected everyone in the immediate area, but most conversations tend to start with ‘hello’ or some variation, so she had hazarded a guess.

‘You speak Gleyan?’ he asked.  Twilight looked to Banna, who came forward.

‘They don’t speak Gleyan.  However, they do understand me and my squad and vice versa, so if you need anything ask one of us.’  The sniper looked unconvinced.

‘May I ask how exactly you can communicate with each other?’

‘She used magic to open our minds, thus allowing our understanding to be felt by the other person or thing.’  He looked dumbfounded.

‘Magic sir.’

‘Exactly.’

‘Whatever you say sir.’  He walked into the camp rather briskly, signalling to them to follow him.  Banna dismissed the recon squad and then followed the sniper with the ponies close behind.  As they made their way to the tower, Rainbow Dash noticed some familiar faces.

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Nicki Minaj - Your Love

Amax went first, slamming down the card onto the table that had been set out by the barracks.

‘Flush!’ He started reeling in all his gains.  Jimothy gave an evil smile, and placed his cards down in a very delicate manner.

‘Royal flush.’  Amax sat there looking very, very vexed as Jimothy rerouted the money to his side of the table.  There were some cheers from the dozen or so men surrounding them as they patted (more of a smack really) Jimothy on the back and so on.  Amax looked around the crowd, trying to get his mind off the fact that he had just lost this months pay, and stopped on one very out of place face.  Holy shit, it was that blue horse thing!  No one else had noticed her since they were too busy begging Jimothy for some of his hard(ly) earned cash.  He got up, largely ignored by everyone and walked over to the cyan pony who had disappeared behind one of the soldiers.  Pushing his way through he was astounded to see the Lieutenant speaking to a purple one, with a horn on its- her forehead.  He looked to his right and saw the cyan pony, who was currently trying to work out what had just happened, and why everyone was crowded around ‘the shorter one’.

‘Devious sunnuvabitch’s poker face is too good for me.  I’ll get him next time though.’  He said out loud to catch her attention. She turned her head to him.

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‘I remember you,’ she said.  He obviously didn’t understand her.  ‘Hey Twilight!  Can you do that spell thing again?’  Twilight looked to Banna.  He shrugged and said okay.  Once again, her horn started to glow, catching the attention of everyone outside who stared in disbelief at the purple pony with a horn which just happened to be glowing really, really brightly.  The glow dissipated and Twilight slumped to the floor, gasping for air.  Banna helped her up.

‘I really shouldn’t do that a lot... It’s very tiring...’  Twilight managed to say between breaths of air.  He nodded and allowed her to lean against him to the tower.  The soldiers were all wondering what had happened.  Then Rainbow Dash broke the silence.

‘Sooo, what do you do for fun ‘round here.’ Amax was so stunned that he went straight past utter disbelief all the way back to mild acceptance.

‘Uhh, cards, I suppose, there’s also, um, Baseketball, that’s a good one too.’ he stubled over his words.

‘Well there’s always radio.’ said Jimothy who had joined them, wads of money stuffed in his ammo pouches.  She had heard the word radio quite literally in the Gleyan language.

‘What’s a ra-, radeo?’ The men laughed as she made contorted her face trying to say the word.

‘A radio.  Kinda like this box which can pick up transmissions and make them into sound.  It’s pretty primitive in this day and age, but it’s the least complex and most practical of all communication types.  Great way to get free entertainment.’  As if by cue, someone in the back switched on the radio that had been sitting on the table then started changing channels.

“khkhkhkhkhkhkhk- And then I said- khkhkhkhkhkhkh- OoOoOh BaBy I NeEd YOUUUUU- khkhkhkhkhk-ary Billic reporting live from the front,’ The soldier stopped.  Sounds of gunfire and explosions could be heard clearly over the presenters voice.  ‘I’m standing here with Captain Ven Hala in Beyrin Pass where the seventh Anteeist offensive is kicking off.  Captain do you think you could enlighten us as to what is going on?-

-Well, I can’t give away any specific details since you never know who’s listening, but I can tell you that the 157th has been resolute in its defence of-’

‘That’s code for ‘we fucked up good’,’ commented one of the soldier.

‘-but men aren’t inexhaustible.  They had to face against the increasing number of Anteeists pouring forth with no end in sight, and the fuckers used napalm by the shiploads.  Our new fortifications have been adjusted to deal with the threat-’

‘They’re gonna put some cannon fodder up front.’ commented another.

‘-so we should be able to hold them off next time.-

-What has the casualty count been so far?

-Ah yes, well we’ve been lucky in that respect.  40,000 dead and a further 10,000 wounded on the first day.  Casualties haven’t been this low since the start of the war-’

‘Change the fucking channel, it’s depressing!’ the soldier started tuning it again.  Rainbow Dash couldn’t understand a thing being said on the radio since the magic didn’t affect the presenter, but she was mesmerised none the less.

‘The things magic can do.’  Amax looked at her.

‘Magic?’

‘Yeah, magic.  You know, the radio.’  Amax started to laugh.

‘Magic doesn’t exist.  The radio runs on electricity.’

‘What do you mean magic doesn’t-’  She was interrupted by Banna.

‘Sorry ladies, but we’re gonna have to get a move on.  OFC is a bitc- I mean they’re not very nice when they’re left in the dark for too long.’  The three ponies left with Banna, the sound of the radio playing them out.

‘And that’s why I’ve been telling you idiots to save your goddamn money, wait until spaceport queues are down, because the price goes down during off-peak cycles-every idiot should know that, then book a ticket as soon as you can to the farthest low population density planet. They might not be as luxurious the cities, as well as vulnerability to Anteeist invasion, which is unlikely since they are in the same economic downturn as we are, meaning they don’t have enough resources for an invasion, but there should be towns and enough sustainability such as natural resources-meaning jobs, and of course, a spaceport.

Anyways let’s take some calls, I wanna’ know what you think about the Gleyan government implementing primitive communist style totalitarian rule.

342-1120, what’s your opinion on Gleyan totalitarian rule?

“You’re an Anteeist conspirator, you’ve been exposed, we know you work for the-”

“God damnit I’m not an Anteeist spy! When are you dumbasses gonna realise it? Lemme tell you if I was a spy I would’ve been detained years ago. Anyways.

512-1090, what’s your excuse?

“Hey I’m ghost let’s have butt-sex at the back of the space ship baby buns-”

“GOD DAMNIT WOULD YOU GET OFF OF MY FUCKEN’ BROADCAST YOU FRUITY BASTARD SUNUVA-” .’

A cacophony of cans being smashed could be heard.

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‘Banna, I see you’re back from your scouting mission.’  The Major looked expectantly at him.

‘Ah, yes sir.  We have discovered that the indigenous species is in fact not human, sir.’  The ship captain,  standing in the exact same position as last time looked intrigued.

‘Not human Second-lieutenant?’ the captain asked.  Banna sighed.  This was going to be very... embarrassing.

‘Yes sir, they’re...’ he hesitated for a moment. ‘They’re ponies sir.  Multi-coloured ponies sir.’  The two senior officers started laughing, and the crew in the back ground had noticeable smiles on their faces.  Twilight failed to see how it was funny, but she stayed silent.  After wiping a few tears from his eyes, the major resumed his serious expression.

‘Do you have anything to back this up?’

‘The squad members saw it too sir.’ The officers looked at eachother.

‘Banna, I’m going to need you and everyone who went with you to report to camp five for an immediate psych evaluation.’  Banna was becoming irritable.

‘You don’t believe me do you sir?  Ladies, if you would so kindly step out into the front of the panel.’  Three ponies walked onto the screen, quite timidly at first.  The looks of the faces on the ship crew members all changed to wonder as they emerged.  ‘Sir these three ponies are Twilight, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash.’  The major started stroking his beard.

‘Well I never...  Do they speak Gleyan?’

‘No sir.  But they do understand us, and we them, although it only seems to work after Twilight does... whatever it is she does.  Dunno how it works, but basically her horn glows and we suddenly understand them.’  The major didn’t really care for details too much, all he needed to know was that nothing was going wrong.  The ponies shifted uncomfortably, unsure of how to act.  They couldn’t understand a word of what the major was saying, but it was apparent that he was his superior.  Must be their prince or whatever they call their leader, thought Twilight.

‘Is there a particular reason that you brought these, ponies, along?’

‘Well Twilight, the purple one, is the Equestrian ambassador.  The rest sort of just, tagged along’  The major’s eyes lit up.  A diplomatic figure, always good for this kind of work.

‘Banna, what’s going on?’ Asked Twilight.

‘It’s a standard debriefing.  I’m just filling the Major in on the details of our expedition.  Don’t worry about it, it’ll be over before you know it.’  The major was quite obviously impressed at Banna being able to speak to the equine being.

‘It seems to me, Banna, that you know the locals quite well.’  Banna scratched the back of his head.

‘Uh... better than the other men I suppose.  And it seems I’ve been invited by their princess to enter a diplomatic discussion tomorrow.’  The major was surprised by the last comment.

‘Invited?  Well in that case I have no choice but to promote you.’  Banna’s eyes widened.

‘Sir?’  The major smiled.

‘Banna, since you were the first, high ranking officer to meet the locals and the added bonus of you being invited by a major diplomatic figure to a meeting all within the space of, what, half a day, it only makes sense for me to make you our PR officer.  Congratulations, you get to go listen to politicians drone on about current affairs.’  Banna was literally speechless.  Pay rise!  A bigger lot of land to live on, not to mention that he wasn’t going to have to fight.   He wasn’t one of those officers who felt too responsible for their men to leave, partly because more than half his platoon was made up of replacements he had just met en route, and partly because after what he had seen, it was safe to say that he wanted to retire as soon as possible.  ‘Though you’ll still be needed right on the front lines.  We’ll need all the help we can get.’  Oh well, at least it was quiet.  Come to the think of it, where were the Anteeists?  He would have expected a transmission, maybe some spy places or anything by now.  Eh, it’s only been a few days since the arrival, it’s not like they would meet instantly.  Still...  ‘Your title is the same, but with the word ‘ambassador’ stuck on the end.  I think that is all for now.  Captain do you have anything you want to say?’  The ship captain checked his report.

‘One more thing Banna, apparently our recon planes spotted open Carberium mines in the mountains.  Securing these would be most invaluable.’  The screen switched off, and Banna let out a breath of air in relief.

‘What was that about?’ asked rainbow Dash, Fluttershy standing behind her poking a phone with her hoof to see if it would do anything.

‘Well, I’ve been promoted to Second-Lieutenant Ambassador Banna.  I’ll be handling most diplomatic meetings from now on.’

‘Well that’s great!  We should celebrate, and I know just the place.’ said Twilight.  Celebrating sounded good.  The princess had asked him to get to know the locals, and going out and about would do just that.

‘Well then, lead the way.  Just no alcohol please, I’m trying to lay off that stuff.’

‘There is no alcohol in Equestria, well none for drinking. It’s illegal.’  Twilight responded.  Well that was great.  Every AA members dream, or hell depending on who you asked.  Most of the men weren’t going to be too happy, but at least he could rest assured knowing that his platoon wasn’t going to go and get absolutely pissed while he was away.  Actually no, they’d probably bootleg it.  He’d seen some of the stuff on Thate.  It was made of solvents, toilet cleaner and some other ingredients he’d rather not know about.  Twilight and the ponies left with Banna close behind.  As they were leaving the encampment, Banna stopped.  He should probably bring some more people along, just in case.  In case of what he didn’t know, everyone here seemed to be a pacifist, but you could never be too cautious.

‘Hey, Amax, Jimothy.’  He called out.  The private and the corporal stood at attention.

‘Sir!’

‘You two seemed to know Rainbow Dash.’  The two of them looked at each other guiltily.

‘We, uh, met earlier today.’  Banna raised his eyebrow.

‘I see... Well, since that is the case, you two are to accompany me to where ever it is they’re taking us.’  They looked confused.

‘Taking us, sir?’

‘I’ve just been promoted, and Miss Sparkle thought it would be a good idea to celebrate.  I don’t trust any place I’ve been in for less than a week, so I need some back-up.’  The two soldiers looked happy.  Celebrating, now that was something.  The Gleyan army didn’t do nearly enough celebrating.  ‘No alcohol though, it’s illegal.’  Amax looked less jovial, but Jimothy didn’t seem to care.

‘Let’s get to it then sir.’  The six humans and ponies left for Ponyville.

‘SHIT!’  The lieutenant stumbled backwards, much to the amusement of the other squad members and ponies.  ‘Thate, I didn’t see you there.’  Once again, Thate had materialised almost as if out of thin air right behind the officer.  They were on the outskirts of Ponyville, and the sun was setting, giving it a more peaceful feel than usual.

‘Sugarcube Corner is the place in Ponyville to satisfy your sweet tooth.’ stated Twilight.

‘Can’t wait to see what Pinkie’ll do...’ commented Rainbow Dash.  Banna cocked his head.

‘Sorry, what was that?’  He wasn’t sure what she had meant, and he had heard that used before once, a long time ago.  Needless to say it had all ended in disaster.

‘Oh, well our friend Pinkie Pie works there, and she’s really, really big on parties.  Expect a surprise party when you least expect it.’  That sounded great, now if only he didn’t have to sit at camp filling out reports and sorting letters...

Meanwhile above the planet

‘This is OFC, is the C-site ready, over’

‘Uh, roger that OFC, we’re clearing the last of the trees right now.  Over.’

‘Good.  Civilians are being prepped for transport.  Gunships will be accompanying the last wave over.’

‘Affirmative, we’ll get started on the colony buildings, over.’

‘Roger that.  OFC requests an hourly sitrep from you, over.’

‘Will do, over’

‘One more thing, watch out for Anteeist scouting teams, over.’

‘Roger that, over and out.’

‘Over and out.’