Chapters Chapter 1: So much hatred
Jasper sighed, “Listen God, I wasn’t committing suicide. I was just going for a swim.”
High above in Heaven, God looked down on the sad twenty year old kid. In his gaze on Earth he had found this kid wandering and wondered what he was up to. God looked down on suicide but not in the way he looked down on his mortals, but he looked down with shame at the act. To him it is just a waste of true potential.
“Why the fuck do you assume I give two fucks what happens to you?”God snarled as he watched the kid. His power allowed him to view all his mortal subjects and he basically eavesdrop on everything that happened. Sure it’s an invasion of privacy but mortals rights don’t bother the might of God at all. Except for when they marry the same gender, which really pisses him off.
Then suddenly the human disappeared in a flash of gold and God jumped back in his throne. “Where did he go?” God asked out loud to no one in particular. What made it more awkward was he was alone on his throne.
“Hold on.” God said standing up. With amazing powers he looked for the kid. If one of his subjects went missing he wanted to know about it. But as he looked he found he couldn’t find the human anywhere. God frowned and stomped his foot.
“Satan!” God roared and in a matter of seconds a black cloaked man appeared, rising from the cloud floor.
“What?” Satan asked. He was kind of annoyed God was making him miss his soap.
“Did you do something with one of my mortal subjects?” God asked sternly.
“No.” Satan said now really annoyed that he was called to discuss mortals.
“Well I’m omniscient so I already knew that and I know you’re not lying.” God said stroking his long flowing beard.
“Then why the fuck did you call me up here?” Satan shrieked.
“I’m omniscient ooooo.” God wiggled his fingers. “And you’re not, faggot.” Satan sighed as God gloated as he normally did. God turned his back to the prince of darkness.
“Anyways the Angel of Death,”
“Grim Reaper.” Satan corrected.
“Angel of Death.” God glared at Lucifer. “Probably has an explanation.” God cleared his throat and another shadowy figure arose from the cloud floor. But this one carried a scythe.
“Yes my lord?” The figure asked.
“Death Angel are you aware that one of my mortal subjects is no longer of this world?” God asked.
“Well I,”
“Oh wait omniscience I already know what you’re going to say.” God smirked. The Reaper sighed and looked to Satan who just gave him that look that said it was going to be one of those days.
“Well God it’s been nice seeing you but I have duties to perform.” The Reaper said turning to walk away.
“Oh no you don’t.” God said floated over and grabbing Death’s shoulder. “You’re like me; you’re omnipresent so you can chat for all eternity with me and still perform your duties.” The Reaper’s skull glumly sighed.
“Now we have a mortal to find.” God raised his hand and a circular table with a grid map appeared rose from the cloud floor. The three immortals stood around it. God, realizing that they were evenly spaced out around table, extended his arms and brought the three closer together.
“Now.” He began. “This map is kind of completely worthless because you know; omniscience.” God tighten his hold on the other two. “But you know I want to include you guys because I love you all so much!”
“And you sure show it the oddest ways.” Death commented.
“Yeah you kicked me out of heaven and forced me to torture millions of souls on minimum wage!” Satan growled.
“Yeah but look at the bright side.” God said.
“What?”
“You can watch your soaps in privacy without others bothering you, faggot.” God smirked. Satan was about to respond but realized God was right and he shouldn’t encourage him.
“Alright can we just find this fucking mortal already?” Death said wiggling himself free of God’s grip.
“Oh sure just take a look on the map, I insist.” God ushered the Reaper forward. Death gazed with his empty eye sockets over the grids of the map of Earth. In took him about a couple seconds to scan but when he did, he was more confused than before at the predicament.
“I can’t”
“What’s the matter can’t find him?” God said knowing what the Reaper would say. He didn’t need omniscience to know that.
“Yes.” The Reaper growled. “It’s like he’s not in this plane of reality.” With his bony fingers he zoomed the map out. “Or in yours or Lucifer’s.”
“My name’s Satan!” Lucifer insisted.
“Well this is troubling." God put his hand under his chin.
“Why? What is one mortal worth to you?” Satan asked.
“Nothing I am far superior to one mortal.” God growled. “It’s just that this mortal has eluded his destiny which is to die and be judged by me as all mortals fates are.”
“Megalomaniac.” Death said under his breath. God heard that and decided he was gunna give the Angel of Death a nuggie after he found this mortal and brought him to be judged.
“What about that other dimension that we achieved our first Armageddon in?” Satan asked. God frowned, hating to think about that colossal failure on his part.
A long time ago there was another Earth, now called First Earth, that God had made for humanity. And it was very similar to the Earth that the three presently maintained which they called New Earth since it was, well, new. First Earth had its own history that followed everything that New Earth had but certain events happened on First Earth and now it was a vast wasteland. After that God abandoned it and pretended like it never existed.
“No there’s nothing left in there.” God said. “Everything died eventually. I just checked.” He can do that.
“Um maybe we could you know.” Satan awkwardly stated. “Check in that ‘other’ dimension other than First Earth.”
“Oh yes.” Death groaned. “That dimension.”
“Oh but I hate that dimension.” God moaned. “It’s so stupid how it invaded my pure world. I’m glad it’s no better than how the First Earth is now in its present state.”
“Yep Armageddon sure was a dousy.” Death stated. “Had to work overtime in the first week.”
“So do you think that maybe this mortal, um,” Satan looked at the map. “Jasper, may have escaped into that dimension?”
“Well I hate to say it but I never enacted my influence in that realm and once the portals closed I haven’t had the want to open them again and see what I could see.” God admitted.
“Well I just checked for you.” Death said. Using his omnipresence he had simply traveled to the other dimension and surveyed the scene. “No mortals there. In fact there’s nothing in that dimension. It truly is just oblivion.”
“Cool.”God smirked. “Guess I don’t mind it if there’s nothing in there. Maybe I’ll revive the human race and start again. This time in two worlds to control.”
God fantasized about these things as of late. It’s true that his greatest creation, humanity, was destroyed in a bloody doomsday on First Earth. He thought about starting again but he truthfully didn’t know where to start. The idea of two dimensions of humans appealed to him. Having them under his influence and seeing how they did things differently. Then maybe one day he would unite them and see what happens.
“Great more souls to manage. My favorite.” Satan said sarcastically. He scrolled around on the map until he found the location that Jasper had disappeared.
“Um God?” Satan said getting God’s attention. “The place your mortal disappeared has evidence that suggests he was transported using magic that is exactly the same as them.”
“Oh yes. Them magic.” Death growled.
“It is?” God asked in disbelief. “I mean, of course it is. Omniscience.”
“Yeah keep telling people that.” Satan shook his head. “But you know what this could mean?”
“Fuck.” Death groaned.
“Well I hope it doesn’t.” God said looking over the map. “But if it is that magic then I don’t want what happened to my First Earth to happen to my New Earth.”
“Yeah that was sure tiresome.” Death agreed.
“Everything was going fine until those four legged freaks perverted my pure humanity.” God sneered.
“Well I think we know where Jasper is.” Satan concluded. “And I’m willing to bet that he’s with them now.”
“And if he can go with them then the rest can.” Death said. God thought for a second.
“Alright I’m getting him back.” He closed his eyes. God’s power is great but in this instance, to mortals in may not look so great. Mortals are used to what they can see, hear, and smell. They expect Gods to show their brilliant power in awe striking instances. But in this instance all they would see would be an old man closing his eyes. But to the immortals what he was doing was magnificent.
“Omnipotent!” God roared suddenly. He turned to his two acquaintances. “Alright found him, sadly.”
“He’s in that kind of universe isn’t he?” Death said.
“Yep.” God threw up his arms and collapsed on his throne.
“Did you get him back?” Satan asked.
“No.” God said. He looked at the two immortals and with a flick of his fingers he produced chairs for them to sit on.
“Why not?” Death asked taking a seat.
“I can get his body back.” God explained. “But I can’t get his soul. And his soul is what we judge him on.”
“So much for omnipotence.” Satan smirked.
“Hey there’s obviously an explanation for this.” God spat. “Their magic is, uh, kryptonite to me.”
“Yeah sure.” Satan said. “I totally believe you.”
“Well what do we do now?” Death asked.
“I don’t know?” God shrugged. He snapped his fingers and a screen appeared in front of them. “Let’s watch?” The two immortals nodded and they watched what would unfold.
They watched Jasper’s interactions with the hated creatures; ponies. And they watched for a while because being gods they could do whatever they wanted and still maintain their duties. Even Satan, the weakest because he was neither omnipresence, omnipotent, nor omniscient, watched even though he was missing his soaps.
However it was a matter of time till the immortals began to see things starting to go wrong. Jasper became a king and betrayed the ponies. Now normally they would welcome a pony getting hurt but this time it felt wrong. God was the most militant about the whole thing.
He would get up and scream, “That’s not fucking right! He’s a tool; he’s got no right.” But Jasper couldn’t hear the anger of his god from the other dimension and he continued to do his work. With each step he took, he angered the immortals above watching him. Eventually God couldn’t take it anymore. Jasper was his obsession and he had to have his soul to be judged.
“That mortal.” God fumed. “That mortal! I will have that mortal!”
“Yeah he’s kind of a prick.” Satan agreed eating his popcorn. “I mean where the fuck did he come up with this shit? He was only in Equestria for three days until he overthrew those two.”
“It pisses me off.” God stormed. “Give me some popcorn.” He said as he took a handful of Satan’s popcorn and stuffed it in his mouth.
“Well why don’t you just go and get him?” Death suggested.
“Uh canut.” God said a mouthful of popcorn. He swallowed and continued. “I can only watch. My power won’t allow me to go to that realm. So much for omnipotence.” He held out his hand and a Mountain Dew bottle materialized and he began to sip on the straw.
“Well that’s never stopped you before.” Death continued. “Why not just send one of your subjects? An angel. They could probably get in.” God’s eyes widened. He then proceeded to spit his soda all over the Angel of Death.
“Bro you’re a genius! I’ll get my angels to sort this out.”
“My fucking robes!” Death shrieked. God didn’t hear him as he happily skipped away to find an angel to take up his quest.
“Oh and Satan.” God said looking back.
“What?”
“You’re a little homo and I hate you.”
“Yeah fuck you too bro.”Satan threw up his middle finger before disappearing along with Death.
God quickly rounded a corner of his Heavenly fortress. He took about two steps and then remembered he was omnipresent so he just needed to switch perspectives. He did so and focused on just the angel he was looking for.
“Hey Bill, what’s going on?” God greeted his angelic secretary.
“Oh hey God.”Bill said looking over his book of knowledge. “You need something.”
“No I need someone.” God said gleefully. “I need an angel for a mission. The best you have.”
“What kind of mission.” Bill asked flipping through his book. God's angels were basically his servants. They went out on his orders to perform some task whatever it may be. God sent them out when in situations like this he couldn't do something himself or he wanted to focus on something else.
“It’s complicated but it involves retrieving a lost soul.” God explained.
“Sounds complicated.” Bill agreed. “Well we’ve got Talor, he’s very wise, there’s Raktor he’s very authoritative, or there’s Saratosh he has a lot of experience under his belt.” God wasn’t really interested in those angels. They all did things by the book and they were kind of a drag. Then his eyes brightened up.
“Him.” God pointed to a name on the list.
“Him?”
“Yes him.” God nodded. “Jim. I want Jim boy.”
“I don’t know about that my lord.” Bill said worriedly. “Jim’s kind of a train wreck.”
“How so?” God crossed his arms.
“Well.” Bill began. “He’s never been out on a mission before so he doesn’t have the experience that the others I’ve named have. Then there’s the biggest problem being he was responsible for the Armageddon of the First Earth. His actions set forward the deaths of millions of your subjects and those other creatures. But most importantly he used to be a man and he’s one of few angels that you included in your ranks despite previous standings. And you know how those former humans turned angel can be. Very disloyal to your teachings.” God looked sternly at Bill.
“Armageddon was bound to happen eventually. We didn’t know when and we didn’t know how but it happened and he just happened to be what set it. Sure he wasn’t the Antichrist that would have come from us but he was the unofficial holder of the title. He’s young in our terms but ever angel needs experience. So I choose him.” God began to walk away. “Besides Bill, weren’t you once a man too?”
Bill choked a bit. “I think my time here sets me apart from those ruffians.”
“Sure it does.” God smirked walking away.
When he was back to his throne he had discovered that his guests had left. That was too bad because God was a single god and he never had equals visit him. Not that Death or Satan were equals but they were close in their own respect.
But for right now there was the Jasper controversy. And God needed to prepare for the show. It was his angel versus some kid off the street. His First Earth angel versus a New Earth punk. The time was now. God snapped his fingers and in front of him Jim materialized. Problem was Jim was about five feet above the floor so he ended up crashing down.
“Ouch!” He screamed.
“Sup Jim.”God greeted.
“Huh of sup Yahweh.” Jim said rubbing his head. God glared at the angel. “Oops I mean sup God.” God hated his official name but he was willing to forgive the angel since it was only an accident.
“You getting use to those wings yet?” God asked.
“No.” Jim admitted. His wings were sprouting from his back. Big magnificent white wings, the trademark of all
“Come on man. It’s been two thousand years and you still don’t know how to fly?” God said.
“Why am I wearing these dorky robes?” Jim complained since before he was wearing his casual clothes. All angels wore long white robes, or at least in the presence of God they did.
“Hey these robes are the shit!” God yelled pointing at his own. “They’re comfy and they look good on girls so why not guys?”
“Yeah.” Jim nodded. “They do look good on the girls.”
“Been enjoying the females I see?” God said.
“Yep, dying a virgin was the best choice of my life.”
“Sure choice.” God made quotation marks with his fingers.
“Anyways what do you want? I was in the middle of something.” Jim complained.
“So you know how you’ve always wanted a mission?” God smirked.
“No?”
“Well congratulations you’ve got one!” God held up his arms and confetti erupted from the place. He quickly got rid of it though because it got in his beard. God pointed to Jim and a circular vision appeared in front of the angel.
“This is Jasper. He’s a king.” God explained. Inside the sphere Jim could see a kid. He looked normal enough but kind of depressing. Reminded him of friends he had when he was human. “Jasper was a resident of New Earth until he was taken by a force you are very familiar with.” Jim’s hands formed fists and God smiled.
“Yes Jim boy, ponies.” The sphere changed and it showed Jasper’s first meeting with the ponies.
“They still live?” Jim shrieked. “Especially those two princesses and the mane six?”
“Not the same.” God explained to the angel that was freaking out. “These ponies aren’t like the ones you waged Armageddon on. These one come from a separate but similar universe. They captured my mortal and took him to their world.”
“Aaaah.” Jim screamed. “That’s a typical piece of fan fiction. You see a human dies and he gets,”
“I know all about that shit, Jim.” God cut him off. “Omniscient remember? But you see the twist here is,” The sphere changed red and instead of Jasper peacefully interacting with the ponies, he put on a golden gauntlet and went crazy. God showed Jim how Jasper had taken the crown and put all of Equestria under his rule. The clip stopped with Jasper’s red gaze looking into Jim’s eyes. But Jim just excitedly bounced up and down.
“This is great!” He exclaimed. “Jasper’s gunna lay waste to New Equestria and that’s more dead ponies.” In his excitement Jim’s wings had fluttered until he levitated off the ground.
“No this is not great!” God reprimanded.
“It’s not?” Jim floated back down to the ground.
“No! Do you not see the infidelity?” God asked.
“Oh yes the infidelity, right.” Jim said with a cheesy smile. God sighed and the sphere vanquished.
“Think of him what you will but when you meet him, you’ll either hate him or love him. I personally hate him.” God let out a short laughed. “Remember the ponies of old and how much you hated them?”
“Yep but I had to let go of that hate. Then of course I accidentally set forth Armageddon.” Jim also laughed. “Good times.”
“Yeah and we put Satan in the kiddy corner cause that’s what we’re supposed to do in Armageddon.” Just then Satan’s head popped out of the cloud floor.
“Yeah and can we not do that this time around?” He asked. God gave Jim a nod and Jim raced over to kick the head. But before he could Satan retreated back down.
“I think you’re ready Jim.” God said. “Now your mission is top secret. Do not tell the angel who resides in the southern district. You know the one with the mistakenly feminine voice but is actually a guy. I hate that faggot.” God blinked realizing he got off topic. “Anyways all you have to do is bring Jasper back home and then return here. You remember how?”
“Yes.” Jim nodded. “I just need to die again. But no suicides.” That’s how it works in Heaven. An angel can only return if he willingly dies at the hands of a mortal and has completed his mission. If not then he is sent to Hell and becomes a demon and has to spend all his life poking people with a stick. It's a really dead end job. “Also how do I bring him back? I can't travel dimensions even with the powers you gave me.”
“Fuck if I know.” God said. “I’ll figure it out but there is one complication. The gauntlet he’s wearing is draining his soul out. If he keeps using it his soul will vanish and he can’t be judged. Understand the predicament?”
“Yes. Rip it off his hand and bring him home eventually after you figure something out. Oh his family and friends will be so glad to see him.” Jim cheered.
“Yeah sure.” God shifted his eyes. “When you’re in there you’ll have your angel powers so I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
“And angel power is absolute like you’re power right?” Jim asked.
“Of course it is.” God smiled. “You’re gunna be fine. Just think of this as a vacation. Now the portal.” God waved his hand a portal appeared behind Jim sucking in the air.
“Have a great time kid!” God called.
“I will thanks!” Jim called back. “Bye God, bye Lucifer!”
“My name is Satan!” Lucifer popped out of the clouds as Jim disappeared into the portal and then the portal closed behind the angel. God laughed.
“What’s so funny?” Satan shot. God looked at him.
“Faggot.”
Jim landed face first into the dirt of Equestria. He quickly scrambled to his feet and wiped his face trying to get his face clean again. It kind of worked but he was still muddy. More importantly his white robes were dirty. Good because he hated them. But right now he had to focus. He looked and saw Canterlot gate and then the high points of the castle. God had told him Jasper had taken control of Equestria and Canterlot being the capitol seemed like the place to looked for the kid.
“Jasper I’m coming for you!” Jim yelled. “And when I find you I’m just gunna stand there and realize that I’m in Equestria again and remember how much I hate this place!” He turned to see a pony was just staring at him.
“Shit!” He exclaimed and ran away.
Author's Note
I know this story might have come out of now where but he wanted a fanfic of his fanfic so me being a generous guy gave him one.
Expected this story to be updated in regular interval because I'm getting devoted here.
Writing powers activate!
Chapter 2: The Waiting Game
Jim ran as fast as he could and then faster. That was until he realized he still had wings and could fly. With a running start he jumped into air and attempted to flap his wings. But all that happened was he tired himself out and hit the ground. He crawled back up to a sitting position. This time at least he landed in flowers and he even avoided injuring his wings. But was the pony still after him?
He looked behind him and decided he was safe. The sight of a pony after all this time really scared him and he was hoping to stay hidden. After he had caused their extinction he thought he would be gone of them for good. But now he was thrown back into their world. One which he had hoped to never see again but God told him to do something and he had to. Kind of a bad predicament he was in.
Oh but in the meantime he was surrounded by lovely flowers. Actually they were beautiful flowers that seemed to draw him into the environment.
“I got it!” Jim exclaimed. “I’ll pick some nice flowers to give to Jasper.” Jim said picking them one by one. “Then he’ll trust me and I can get word from God to bring him back.” Jim did this for a while until he suddenly threw them up in the air.
“Jim!” He screamed. “Your WEIRD this mission it’s not real. You’re acting like a pony. You’re gunna get old and never gunna get laid!” Jim burst into tears and fell into the flowers weeping. He didn’t notice the pony approaching him. She approached him cautiously since the only other human in this world was evil and tricked them all. But this one had wings and was crying instead of ruling.
It was an odd predicament. She, Sweet Heart, had followed the creature after it ran away. It wasn't hard to follow but that was due to its clothing. Now that she found it again she hadn't expected it to be in this state. It was clearly lost and desperate but that didn't seem right. It resembled the king so much and the king was completely evil. But how could this creature be evil too? It almost seemed to resonate goodness and purity.
“Um are you okay?” Sweet Heart said bounding over to Jim. It didn’t matter the creature, someone crying just needs someone.
“No!” Jim wailed. “I’m trapped here and I’m all alone and I want to go home!” Almost on instinct Sweet Heart gave the grieving angel a hug.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” She repeated. “Everything will be alright.” Sniveling , Jim looked at her.
“Is there another human here?”
“Yes there is. Do you know him?”
“Where is he?” Jim asked.
“He’s in Canterlot on his thrown. How do you know?” Jim looked at her and his expression changed from sad to stoic to happy.
“Thanks I was just unsure.” Sweet Heart had no time to react when suddenly Jim laid his hand on her and electricity filled her body. It was the classic cartoon thing where the skeleton is seen flashing back and forth. Then just as quick the pony was ashes and lied in a pile of ashes which Jim collected in his hands. He blew them and they took flight up into the sky.
“Go with God.” He called. “Or since you don’t believe in God go to your heathen whatevers.” Jim wiped his hands together. “What a nice girl. Too bad I hate her kind.” He said with a chuckle.
Producing a mirror he looked at himself. He was a dirty but what got him was his age. When he died he had been around thirty. It was hard to tell his exact age back then after so many years. And he still looked thirty. That wasn’t good. If he wanted to approach Jasper he needed to look about his age.
“This won’t do.” Jim scowled. He started to then youngify himself. He progressed down the scale until he was eighteen. At this age he looked around Jasper’s age maybe younger.
“Now about these clothes Jim.” Jim said. “Oh and the wings.” They needed to go. He needed something to blend in with. Actually scratch blending in, he was surrounded by ponies that only ever seen a human once. He would just need regular casual clothes. With his thoughts he went through clothes he had worn in the past. Soon he found out he couldn’t decide.
“Alright so since this isn’t working I’m going with my most iconic look.” He held out his arms. “My janitor outfit from my first job!” Wait what was he thinking?
“What am I thinking?” He said. “I’m just gunna wear what I wore when I was the Antichrist.” The jumpsuit changed black and a red anarchy A appeared on the back.
“Anti C, Anti B, I sure as hell hate MLP.” He giggled to himself. His wings were gone and as he ran his hands through his hair which made it shorter. He became what he had looked like as a mortal. Cute and non -threatening.
There was still sunlight left so he decided to set off for Canterlot and find Jasper. Along the way he would come up with a plan. And by plan he meant he was gunna wing it.
The city of Canterlot was busy upholding Jasper’s demands. There were weapons being made and other intimidating stuff. Ponies seemed to complain but they did as they were told. In their work then never noticed the additional human walking around. That was because the additional human was sulking in the shadows. It had hit him that maybe being a human wouldn’t be a popular move at the moment. And sure he could disguise himself as a pony, but that seemed disgusting and wrong.
It was easy to avoid the eyes of the ponies. Their eyes were on the front of their heads unlike their horse counterparts in the human world. Meaning their vision weren’t as well as regular animals. No they are a special type of animal. More importantly they were focusing on one thing at a time so they were easy to sneak by.
Jim found it easy to make it to the castle because in reality there weren’t a lot of ponies on the streets. But there were ponies guarding the entrance. There was no way around that without the use of his powers. And in that moment Jim decided that using his powers, was for pussies despite his previous use of it.
With a good count to three he ran out into the open and right to the castle guards.
“Yo what’s up my homies? How is it down in Canterlot?”Jim whiteness was showing.
“Sweet Celestia.”One of the guards said in disbelief.
“Are you another human?” The other guard asked.
“No.” Jim stated. “I’m a dog.”
“He’s lying it’s another human.” The first guard said. “But what is it doing here?”
“Just bring me to Jasper.” Jim ordered.
“What do you want with the king?” The second guard asked.
“Who cares? He’s just like him.” The first guard said. “Let’s get him and the king will decide.”
“Yeah the king.” Jim cheered having no idea what was going on. The two guards brought him in at spear point. It didn’t bother the angel but did they really have to be so rough? Other guards joined until there were four spears pointed at his neck. They marched him to a big chamber door that was no doubt the entrance to the throne room.
After playing some pony form of rock, papers, scissors, one unlucky guard snuck in to inform the king. After about two seconds a very loud “what!” was heard from inside. The guard poked his head out of the door and ushered the party in.
“Hey don’t tell anyone but I’m kind of nervous.” Jim said to the guard to his right.
“You and me both pal.” The guard replied. As soon as the doors opened, Jim ducked under the spears. He escaped the guards and ran into the middle of the throne room. The guards ran after him in an effort to restrain him but it was Jasper who called them off.
“My lord.” A pony guard bowed before him. “We found this human in the front of the castle. He approached us and started speaking gibberish. We brought him in here because he looks like you in a way.”
“Did you search him? Check to see he wasn’t armed before we met?” Jasper asked coldly.
“Oh um, no, my lord.” The guard stammered.
“Well it’s too late.” Jasper stated. “In the mean time how about you raise security. If someone can waltz up to the front of the castle unnoticed than I want more protection.” The guard bowed again and walked past Jim who was glaring at the pony.
“Faggot.” He sneered. The pony returned a confused look to Jim, clearly not understanding the word.
Jasper was busy looking Jim over. He was both shocked and confused. But not stupefied, because this scenario did run through his mind once.
“So,” Jasper said. “What’s your name?”
“Jim.” Jim said smugly.
“Well Jim.” Jasper said. “I don’t know what form of trickery this is but tell Twilight that her tricks don’t work on me.” Before Jim could talk, Jasper had him his hands around his neck, choking the life out of the poor angel.
“My wife can turn into a human! Do you not think I wouldn’t consider the possibility that one of you could too?” Jasper’s eyes glowed red like the gem on his gauntlet. Jim desperately grabbed the air above him. Jasper had caught him completely off guard and he was panicking since he was unsure if he died where he would go. Probably not back to Heaven. After awhile of the struggle Jasper let go. Jim got on one knee and felt his neck. He could feel the marks as he breathed in heavily.
“Sorry.” Jasper said trying to regain his composure. “It seems you really are a human like me.” Jim was furious but he was fighting the urge to choke Jasper back. He needed the king alive and it didn’t matter what happens, as long as Jasper is alive. Besides he had two thousand year of practicing to deal with mortal sins such as anger and anxiety.
“Please get up.” Japer urged taking Jim by the hand. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Jim. Are you okay?” Jim didn’t respond until he was properly on his feet. Still rubbing his neck Jasper could see the marks.
“I’m playing the waiting game.” Jim said sounding hoarse.
“Waiting game?”
“Yeah waiting game.” Jim cleared his throat. “I’m waiting for this to end.”
“Oh I see.” Jasper walked past his guest. “Walk with me.” He said kind of authoritative. Jim did.
They walked down the long hallways of the castle surrounded by flags of Jasper’s reign. Jasper did his best to try and act civil.
“If you think this is a dream then you’re mistake.” He informed Jim. “You are indeed in Equestria.” He stopped. “You do know what that is right?”
“Equestria yeah.” Jim nodded. "My Little Pony. Friendship is Magic.”
“Ah so you’re a brony I take it.” Jim nodded.
“No fuck you, bronies were faggots.” Jim snapped.
“Uh huh.” Jasper looked at the kid in front of him. He was only slightly taller but there was something off about him. Whether it was his close to skinhead haircut or his odd attire, Jasper knew something was up.
“Well.” He held his hand out and a door to their left opened up. “You look exhausted so why don’t you rest for the night and we can do that waiting game you were talking about in the morning.” Jim looked at the room and at the bed inside. He made a grunting noise and headed inside.
Jasper watched him enter and closed the door behind him. He also noticed the A on his back. Anarchy. Immediately as the door shut Jasper locked it. Then he called for a guard.
“Your majesty?” The guard greeted his king.
Jasper glared daggers at the guard. “I’m not in the mood for anything to go wrong so make sure that he is kept under watch the whole night and make sure to alert me of anything that happens with him.” The guard saluted and Jasper walked off. “Now I’m going to find Twilight Sparkle and when I do I’m gunna peel the skin from her skull!” Jasper stopped in his tracks. “While she’s alive!”
It was easy to find the purple unicorn princess. Just some magic and a good hunch and Jasper was able to find her napping in her library. After a brief scuttle he ended up tying her down in a chair. Then the interrogation had begun.
Jasper took another book off the shelf. “Now for the last time Twilight!” Jasper pointed to the princess tied up in the chair across from him. “Tell me where you got him from and how to get him back!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Twilight pleaded. “Just put my book down and we can talk about this like”. Before she could finish Jasper tore the book in half, bindings and all.
“No! That was a collector’s edition!”
“Then tell me who that is or another one get’s it.” Jasper threatened taking another book off the shelf.
“How about you tell me what’s going on before you act so reckless?” Twilight said. “You need to tell me what’s going on before you just start asking questions.” Twilight winced as Jasper tore apart another one of her books.
“Oh I think you know exactly what’s going on.” Jasper gleamed. “And if you won’t tell me then I’ll do what I did to Sunset.” He stood up and hovered his gauntlet over Twilight’s head. He closed his eyes and prepared for the procedure. But at the last second his focus was interrupted by a loud noise that sounded like an explosion. It sounded far away but was still worrying. Jasper gave a growl and moved his hand away from over the unicorn’s head.
“Lucky you.” Jasper sneered walking away. “I guess I have more important things to take care of. Good luck trying to get out of that chair.” Jasper flung open the library door. “Oh and next time when you’re trying to hide from me. Don’t hide in your own home.” With that he slammed the door shut behind him and ran off in the direction of the sound.
“Spike!” Twilight yelled. Then she realized something. “Oh right I’m all alone here.” She swung her body and the chair fell over onto the cold hard floor. “Alright ow.”
Explosions and other oddities happened throughout the night. These oddities varied from floating fish flying through the air to the raining of pimp canes. Jasper attended each of these happenings and although speech less, it was merely due to his rising anger. It was obvious to him that these happenings were his little rebellion problem trying to faze him. But it was really a pathetic attempt. Jasper eventually shrugged these off after there were no more explosions and decided to go back to bed. He would torture some ponies in the morning to get his answers.
However, unknown to Jasper, these oddities were the product of Jim’s slumber. As a newer angel, Jim didn’t really have complete control of his powers because he hadn’t really trained with them all that much. This was mainly relevant while he sleeps which in Heaven didn’t bother the immortals but in the mortal world was very nerve racking. Sure the mastery of his powers might seem like an attractive option to mortals such as Jasper. But where Jim comes from everybody has powers like he does, so it’s really nothing that special.
Still Jim was blissfully ignorant of his effect on the mortal world. He had a basic grip on his powers but they were only ever useful to him when he was in a bind. He was once mortal so he was more akin to doing things through manual labor.
His power rests with him in his imagination, meaning anything he can imagine will happen. That’s how all angels even God uses their powers and since human imagination is limitless, it means his powers are near limitless but there are limitations. That’s why his dreams were having their effect, because he was imagining it and subconsciously accessing his powers. Right now his dreams were out of whack and mainly about his past life. The explosion was him simply remembering the things he did as the Antichrist and the fish were there because he likes aquariums.
Although his display of power was amazing to the mortal ponies, it really wasn’t anything a true immortal would praise. To the trained eye it could be seen that all an angel’s power is the manipulation of the world around it. Really an angel was unchallenged in power but that was only because no one to challenge them had come around and the ones with the horns that did, all burned with First Earth. It would be interesting if someone else was there to test an angel’s power. Would really give God a run for his money.
Jim awoke with a startled jump. He shot up from his bed and frantically looked around. Backing up into the wall behind him he clenched it desperately until he turned around to see what was behind him. Then he spun around a few times until he collapsed on the bed. He looked at the door in front of him and then something ticked and he laughed a bit. He had just forgotten where he was which would have been scary if it wasn’t a regular occurrence with him.
He stood up and looked at himself in a mirror that was in his room. At first he was startled again because he didn’t recognize the kid in the reflection. Then he slowly remembered it was him just younger looking. It’s been about two thousand years since he’s seen himself like this. The black jumpsuit with the A on the back just screamed to him that he was back in the old days where pony was foe and human was superior. Only this time the human was foe and he was the superior.
“I need a plan.” He mumbled turning to the wall. “I need to plan something out so I don’t just stand there and waiting. I hate playing the waiting game, that game’s gay!” His lip curled into snarl. “I need, I need, I need to do something important to make sure he doesn’t choke me again. That little bitch caught me off guard.” Jim leaned against the wall. “Thinking I’m some dirty four legged pony, please I killed their species off once and I would do it again. But he’s a human like me and I love humanity. But he’s one of those fuckers that make me so mad also. It’s just too confusing!” He slammed his head against the wall.
“Oh wait I know what I got to do.” He exclaimed jumping up. “I need to get that gauntlet off of him. Then it’s just smooth sailing until God finds a way.” But first there’s an important duty that had to be performed.
“Breakfast!” Jim exclaimed. He went to open his door but soon found it was locked. “Oh Jasper was looking out for me.” Jim smiled. “He locked the door so intruders couldn’t get in. He’s a smart cookie.” Jim bubbly over Jasper’s kindness simply twisted the door knob again and it came open. A little Angelic magic goes a long way.
Jim leisurely strolled out of his bedroom and into the hall. Almost immediately a guard noticed him which wasn’t good since this new human was to be let out of his cell. If he got out then Jasper would need to be alerted immediately. Which is exactly what the guard went to do.
Jim on the other hand had gone directly to Canterlot Castle’s kitchen. Upon entering the chef gasped at the sight of another human. It had gone around the castle that there was another human but the chef hadn’t thought the rumors were true.
“Yo.” Jim greeted. He opened up a random cupboard. “We’re making pancakes.”
Needless to say that idea of Jim’s didn’t really work. Sadly he had been consumed by the inescapable fun that is playing around with ingredients. Eventually he came out of the kitchen covered in flour without an ounce of food in his stomach. It’s a good thing Angels don’t have to eat.
“Alright see you later Pablo.” Jim called to the chef as he walked out of the kitchen. “What a nice guy.” Jim walked into the hallway wondering where to go next. He was tracking flour with him which would later be the torment of the castle staff to clean up. Then Jim suddenly was reminded of something. He looked at the flour on his hands. It reminded him of ash.
“Alright fine I’ll grow a conscience.” Jim snarled. He held up his hands and in front of him a pony poofed into existence. Sweet Heart looked around frantically not knowing where she was. One second she had been in pain and the next she was in Canterlot Castle. She turned around full circle and stared at the human in front of her. She immediately recognized him and ran away in terror.
“You’re welcome!” Jim yelled annoyed his kindness wasn’t appreciated. That’s when it hit him. “Jim you retard! You can’t just toy with life and death so easily. The Angel of Death is going to be so flustered with you!”
Way up in heaven. Death was flustered. “I’m so flustered!” He growled crossing his arms and frowning.
“Ah give it a break.” God said slapping Death on the back. “The kid’s just trying to do his job.”
“And you do realize what his job is right?” Satan asked God.
“Of course I do.” God snapped.
“So his job is to just sit there and wait for you to find a way to bring Jasper back?”
“Yeah.” God said.
“Why?” Satan inquired. “That’s kind of a useless position because there’s no reason to send him in if he has no purpose there.”
“Please there is a reason for sending him in.” God thought for a second. “It’s to prevent Jasper from using his gauntlet so he wouldn’t drain his soul.”
“Yeah but if that’s the case then why don’t you just send Jim in when that becomes a problem?” Satan said. “It seems like you just sent him in there to more of torment Jasper instead of help him reach his destiny.”
“You’re catching on Lucifer.” God said smugly. Satan glared at God and then slouched back into his chair.
“And you claim you help humanity.”
“And I’m making a baby retarded for that comment.” God said with a wave of his hand.
“Yeah take it out on the humans like you always do.” Satan shook his head. He leaned in next to Death. “How you doing man? Still flustered?”
“Yep.” Death replied still flustered.
Back in Equestria, Jim was having a mental breakdown. He just realized that in this dimension of Equestria he could do anything he wanted without repercussion from his actions. Sure God was watching but God couldn’t act on him meaning that he was free. This was bad because that meant Jim was a rogue angel. He collapsed on the floor considering his possibilities.
“No.” He said. “I can’t allow my silly mortal feelings to lead me astray. God let me into Heaven after all the things I did to his First Earth. I shouldn’t just forget his unending kindness. Besides I’m an angel and an angel is to do what the lord says. After all there is no one more powerful than my lord.” Somewhere Jim knew God was pleased with him.
Jasper marched through the halls. He had just received word that Jim had broken free. Normally he would be mad but since he had personally locked the door this was concerning. As he was walking a pony ran right past him. Well some guard is gunna get a backhand tonight. Jasper rounded the corner to find Jim standing there with his arms our and covered in flour.
“Um, Jim?” Jasper said approaching him.
Jim turned to the king. “Oh hey Jasper.”
“You do realize you’re covered in flour?” Jasper asked.
“How do you know it’s flour?” Jasper scowled and took a pinch off of Jim’s clothes and rubbed it between his fingers.
“Because it is.” Jasper held his gauntlet up and a beam of light passed over Jim, cleaning him off.
“Thanks bro.” Jim exclaimed wrapping his arms around Jasper. The king gently pushed the stranger off of him.
“Right.” Jasper said brushing himself off. “Walk with me again.” He beckoned Jim again and Jim followed. They walked down a hallway again. Jasper walked quickly while Jim seemed to be dragging his feet causing him to be a little behind Jasper. But that was his intent so he could get a look at the gauntlet. Jim figured it would be easy to pull it off and then all he would have to do is throw it out. Then most of the work is done and he would just have to wait around till God came up with a solution.
“As I imagine you probably have a lot of questions.” Jasper said. “I too have questions but I’ll let you ask yours first.” He looked at Jim who looked back.
“Who me?” Jim pointed to himself. “No I pretty much know everything I need to know.”
“Really.” Jasper nodded. “Then how about I ask you something? First how did you get here?”
“Oh you know the usual way.” Jim answered. “Just stepped through a portal.”
“A portal?” Jasper touched his chin. “You sure you didn’t just appear here in a flash of light?”
“Nope a portal. Just stuck my foot through and ended up here.” Jim said.
“Interesting.” Jasper turned away and continued walking. “I won’t ask any more questions except for this, what does the A on your back symbolize?”
“Huh?” Jim spun around in a circle as if to try and see what Jasper was talking about.
“I mean this.” Jasper grabbed Jim to stop his spinning and with his gauntlet his carved the A on the wall with a blast of red energy. “I know it’s the symbol for anarchy. But what does it have in relation to you?” Jim stared at the smoldering A on the wall.
“Oh that. That stands for Andy.” Jim smiled.
“Andy?”
“Yeah Andy.”
“And who’s that?” Jasper crossed his arms.
“Oh he’s not really a person.” Jim thought for a second. “More of a term.” Jasper rolled his eyes. This guy was clearly delusional. If this is what the rebels send to deal with their king, then their king is insulted.
“You are human right?” Jasper asked. This caught Jim off guard. He didn’t want to lie because that’s a sin but he couldn’t reveal his identity. It’s just too risky considering what Jasper might do if he found out there was another human with magical powers.
“Um technically.” Jim squeaked.
“Alright.” Jasper nodded. “Follow me.” He lead Jim to his throne room yet again. “Now.” Jasper took a seat on his throne. “Seeing that I have no way of returning you home or no way of getting to know how to return you home. I think I’ll let you stay in my kingdom, but you must abide by my laws.”
“Oh I thought this would be a fun adventure where we would both learn something about the way of life and grow fat and old together. In a totally not gay way.” Jasper looked at Jim with contempt.
“I don’t know what type of anarchistic reality you lived in.” Jasper sneered. “But here you will live under my rule.” He glared down at Jim with a heated stare. “Is that understood?”
Jim had a goofy expression on his face. “Well sure but just a warning. I don’t plan on staying for long and you shouldn’t either.” Jasper had a gruesome look on his face.
“I don’t know if that was a threat but keep it up and I’ll make sure you never see the sun again.”
“Well I don’t know if that was a threat to lock me in a dungeon because maybe you were just threatening to cause never ending showers.” Jim responded. “But don’t worry I won’t cause any harm to your kingdom or yourself.” Jasper smiled, happy that he was gaining a new subject and more importantly a human subject. Maybe now there would be someone to share in his philosophies.
“Then please.” Jasper spread his arms. “Bow for me.” Jim let out a chuckle.
“Really?”
“Yes really.” Jasper frowned. “All my subjects must bow to me to show their obedience to me.”
“Whatever you say.”Jim got on his knees. “But if you are truly a king then you have the divine will of God right?”
“What are you talking about?” Jasper glared.
“Haven’t you studied history?” Jim got back up to his feet never completing his bow. “A king gains his right to rule from God. If you don’t have that right then you are no king.” Jasper sighed. A religious nut, great.
“I am king. I earned my place here not from a man above but from my own hard work.”
“Oh then you are an emperor.” Jim said enthusiastically. “I think emperor is a better title for you.”
“Fine whatever just bow.” Jasper said angrily.
“Well there is just one problem with that.” Jim laughed. “I’m an American, you an American, I’m an American. And Americans don’t bow to kings or emperors. My boy George would agree with me.” Jasper at first curled his upper lip in rage but slowly he began to smile maliciously.
“Well.” He said. “If you will not submit to my simple demands then you can wait in the dungeons.” In seconds Jasper’s pony guards surrounded Jim with their spears pointing towards his neck. “Guards take him to the dungeon. When he wants to bow you may bring him to me.”
“Fine whatever!” Jim yelled. “I think I may like the dungeons!” He began to walk away with the guards until something clicked in his mind.
“No wait!” He screamed. “I hate the dungeons.” He threw himself on the floor in an attempt to escape the guards. “It’s cold and damp and they’re spiders! I hate spiders!” Jim tried to crawl away but the guards grabbed his arms.
Jasper took in the scene with delight. Jim annoys him plan as that. With his stupid remarks and his secretive answers Jasper could easily tell that Jim was hiding something. But what Jim didn’t know was that this was all part of a test. A question, what is the easiest way to tell if someone is hiding something? The answer, put them under pressure until they reveal their secrets. And that was what was going to happen.
Jim struggled in the hooves of the guards. There were four of them and one of him so he was outmatched. But he had one thing the guards didn’t have and that was God’s blessing and Angelic magic. But what about the moral implications of using it? Angels were told to only use it when attacked first. Well lucky for Jim this situation matched just that.
In a brilliant flash of white light, the four guards were thrown in opposite directions and hit the wall. Jim staggered to his feet weary he was being observed. He heard clapping coming from Jasper.
“I knew it!” Jasper said with the last clap. “I knew that you were hiding something, I knew that they wouldn’t send a complete dunce to oppose me.” Jasper rose from his throne and floated down in front of Jim and drew his sword.
“Now face me. Face me and show me what you can do.” With that Jasper swung his sword at Jim’s throat.
