Zecora Tells a Hearth's Warming Tale

by The Tyrannical

Rating: everyone
Tags: Cheerilee, Random, Diamond Tiara, Zecora, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1771

A holiday tale is told to foals, and things quickly go south from there. Don't take this seriously.

When Zecora comes to the schoolhouse to tell a story, she runs into a few problems.

Namely Diamond Tiara.

By the way, somebody did a reading of this. Go and check it out.

Published 2014-01-09 22:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-09 22:20:06 UTC

Just Your Average School Day

‘Twas winter in Equestria, far and wide,

and approaching the country was a special time for all.

The ponies donned gear to warm their hides,

so they could properly face the snow that would fall.

But why would they brave the weather encroaching,

when it was clearly freezing and storming?

Because the holiday that was fast approaching

Was none other than Hearth’s Warming.

To the stores some would go,

in search of the perfect gift.

Though the harsh winds would blow,

they would search without thrift.

For the ponies all knew

what Hearth’s Warming was about.

and they followed that moral through,

Without ever a single doubt.

But one pony, namely a filly,

was a rich child perfect for the camera.

There, wearing a scarf much too frilly,

was none other than Diamond Tiara.

It was the presents she loved to receive.

But in return? She did not care.

The last thought on her mind during this Eve

was to give back, or even share.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Hey!” a shrill voice interrupted among the small crowd of foals. “You’re, like, totally making me look bad!”

Their schoolhouse had been decorated accordingly for the coming Holiday. The walls were covered in art projects created by the small assortment of foals currently sitting at their individual desks. At the front of the class, an irritated Zecora sat in front of the chalkboard, labeled Guest speaker today! She blankly stared with silent malice at the pink filly who so rudely interrupted her tale.

“Merely an example, I needed,” Zecora reassured from her wooden chair. “I do not say it to make you look conceited.”

“Diamond Tiara, please do not interrupt Miss Zecora while she tells her story. It’s rude to her and all of your classmates,” Cheerilee reprimanded from her desk.

“But she’s totally making fun of me!” Diamond squawked.

“If I am correct and my memory serves me well, when I asked for a volunteer, it was your name you wanted to sell,” Zecora argued, her face the shining example of stoic.

Cheerilee nodded. “She’s right, Diamond. You did volunteer yourself to be the main character of the story. Besides, I am sure making you look bad is not her full intent. Why don't we wait and see?"

"B-but—!" Diamond Tiara weakly tried to defend, but not coming up with an argument in time. "...Fine."

"The story, I can now tell. So, let's not dwell," Zecora chirped before clearing her throat.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She knew not of kindness,

or sharing what she had.

In her oblivious blindness,

Diamond's intentions were bad.

"Hearth's Warming." She sneered.

"What a time for these fools.

Giving is as important as my own dad's beard!"

She had hissed, quite cruel.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I do not sound like that!" the frantic filly disturbed yet again.

"Diamond Tiara!" Cheerilee scolded. "What did I say!?"

"I don't want to be in this stupid story anymore!" Diamond Tiara wailed as she crossed her forelegs.

Zecora flared her nostrils. She did not expect to be so insulted. "If you so desperately want out, then another child I will tell this story about," she calmly remarked, when in her mind she was thinking of different magical curses she could legally get away with.

"Good," the ignorant filly huffed as she slouched in her desk.

A yellow hoof rose near the back of the class,  "Ah wouldn't mind bein' in your story Zecora. That won't change it much, right?" Apple Bloom generously offered.

Zecora nodded. "Thank you, young Apple Bloom. You are more polite than some in this room."

Diamond's ears perked up. "Wait, what did you say abo—!"

"Do not worry. Back to the story."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Applebloom, though rather harsh,

was not a mean filly by nature.

The child had quite the heart,

if the day was in her favor.

But as a mere child,

she had yet to learn

that the task which seemed mild,

was nothing to spurn.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Wait a second! Why aren't you making fun of the blank flank, too!?"

Cheerilee moved to scold Diamond for interrupting yet again, but Zecora motioned a hoof to stop her from doing so. She cleared her throat and continued.

The exasperated teacher mentally noted that this day was moving much too slowly, and reached for the bottle under her desk.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She was minding her own

in the busy marketplace,

when she had been shown

a perfect sweater inside a glass case.

The box sat on a stand,

decorated with clothes.

While all else looked bland,

it was the sweater her eyes chose.

She checked the price,

feeling the attire's soft touch.

But though the sweater looked nice,

it was simply too much.

With much sorrow, she abandoned it,

trotting away with an empty feeling.

The mere thought of it plagued her spirit,

for the fancy sweater was too appealing.

That night she went to sleep,

dreaming of tomorrow morning.

All the presents she received would seem cheap,

in comparison to the sweater's look, adorning.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"That was a stupid rhyme," the same trouble-making filly made no secret of mentioning.

Zecora wrinkled her snout as her eye involuntarily twitched. How dare she. Who was she to judge which rhymes were and weren't up to snuff? Diamond Tiara wasn't the one making rhymes 24/7. She had no idea how hard it was!

Zecora turned towards Cheerilee, who was suckling at her bottle without remorse. "What say you about this foal? Would you mind getting her under control?"

The soon-to-be-totally-smashed mare acknowledged the zebra's request. "Diamond. Be quiet or else," She blandly stated, only to return to her drink of pure bliss.

Well that was pathetic, Zecora silently judged. And Diamond seems no more apologetic. The spoiled filly slouched in her chair glaring daggers at Zecora, possibly waiting to make her next move.

Zecora would give her one last chance. For Diamond's sake, she hoped the filly wouldn't waste it.

"No more distractions! Let's get back to the action!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

But what she would find the next mor—

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey, lady! If you're so good at rhyming, why don't you find something that rhymes with orange!?"

Amongst the hushed 'ooooh's in the room of foals, a dark feeling arose within the room. It was a feeling not unlike one would get after awakening a sleeping grizzly. The very atmosphere in the room suddenly felt wrong. None knew what unimaginable anger had awakened within the Zebra shaman.

In her ignorance, Diamond Tiara believed she had delivered to Zecora the mother of all smack-downs. But what she had really delivered was her own inevitable doom.

"You dare," Zecora's voice dripped with venom. "You have messed up now, are you aware?" The angered Zebra slowly stood from her stool, stepping towards the naive child. "All you had to do was be silent, but now your punishment will be quite violent!" In a  single blink, the shaman's eyes began to glow a thundering yellow tint.

The quivering filly looked to her teacher for help, only to find the lightweight Cheerilee hunched over her desk in a drunken daze next to an empty bottle. She desperately checked her surroundings, hoping that something or somepony would stop the raging horror in front of her. "Y-you're crazy! Somepony help!" She begged of her classmates, fumbling out of her desk and falling to the floor.

"You really have no clue! Nothing, now, will save you!" a thousand voices declared from the shaman's mouth.

Zecora began to rise from the ground, unmoving. Unknown forces in the air lashed out, sending books and papers flying as screams of terror filled the room. The more timid children cowered under their desks and wept. Others with more sense tried for the door, only to find it mysteriously locked. Soon, they too, cowered in the corner. Some looked to the windows, but instead of the gorgeous landscape that was once there, all they could see through the glass was the black shroud of an endless void. There was truly no escape.

All eyes were on Zecora, fearful of what she would do. Her face was the definition of "horrifying." The unnatural swirling wind around the hovering mare was strong enough to move the abandoned desks, and loud enough to make it hard for the children to hear.

But every word from Zecora's mouth was clear and booming. "AND NOW ON THIS DAY, YOU. WILL. PAY!"

Nothing could have prepared Diamond Tiara for what would happen next.

Suddenly, the glow in Zecora's eyes ceased, and the roaring forces came to a halt. A microphone seemingly manifested from nowhere into Zecora's grip as she dropped back down to the floor. From an unknown source, a funky fresh beat in the background began to play, and the voice that came from Zecora belonged only to her.

"Rhyming is something

for which I have a knack!

So you better watch your bark,

'cus I'm about to bite back!

You are nothing

but a stupid little fool!

I'd be surprised

if you've learned anything from school!

You don't seem to learn,

Your head's so thick!

But what else would one expect

from such a little prick?"

Diamond Tiara and her classmates could only gape in amazement as the Zebra continued her verbal rampage. Her rhythm was flawless, and her rhymes were perfect. Zecora was on a roll with her vicious rap, and nothing could stop her.

The insulting words smoothly flowed out of Zecora's mouth like an unstoppable waterfall. Diamond Tiara regretted pushing the guest speaker too far, and silently begged for the verbal abuse to stop.

Diamond Tiara had no idea how much time had passed. Was it minutes? Hours? It didn't matter. Zecora had finally finished her rhythmic tirade on a strong point and dropped her microphone, leaving it rolling towards the stunned filly. All was dead silent, and every conscious pony in the room knew that Diamond Tiara had been undeniably and brutally served.

"That's what I'm about. And now, I'm out," Zecora curtly stated before heading out the unlocked door to the peaceful outdoors of Ponyville.

Nopony said a word. Some were still trying to fully comprehend what demonic forces had transpired. The entire room was a mess. Desks were overturned and random papers were strewn everywhere.

Snapping out of her trance, Cheerilee came to. "Uh Diamond, you're shushpended," she placidly slurred before her head thudded back down on her desk.

Diamond Tiara simply curled into a shivering ball on the floor, and laid there.

In a corner near the open door, Apple Bloom sat among her huddled peers. "Shoot. Ah wanted to know how that story ended."