Killer is Dead: Equestria!

Twilight groaned, rubbing her head as she sat upright, she was on the ground, though it was blue, last she checked, grass was not blue, unless you dyed it that color. "Where the buck am I?" She asked herself, getting up. The ground wasn't grass, it was comeplety bare, it felt like plastic. Looking up, she gaped as she looked at the sky. The moon was tinted like green, and was spinning, the sky was an aura borealis of color, reds mixing with blues, oranges mixing with greens, forming a mind-boggling display of light and fury.

She looked down, "Why do I have whipped cream down there? It's not Tuesday, and there's no peeled banana attached!" She stared at her crotch, wiping off the frosting, as she got to her hooves. She was naked, as many ponies are, but still had her katana buckled to her hips, somehow. Stomping on the ground, she watched as it glowed pink, shaping into blow dried cobblestone, "Well,, I'm either high, dreaming, or both." Twilight muttered, trotting forward.

Shimmering pools of slime flowed on both sides of her pathway. Hearing a shimmering noise, she turned around, with each hoof step, the path before her dissapeared into nothingness, "Nifty." She said to nopony in particular, before she noticed a peculiar sight before her. She was bent over her reading desk, Cadence was sucking deftly on her horn.

"Come on Twilight, you know I need this practice for your brother!" Cadence pleaded with the mare before her, snaking a hoof to her half sister's marehood, stroking the opening.

The copy of Twilight shuddered, "Cadence, I'm trying to read!" She whined, the "romance" novel she had been reading lay shut, "Can't you go suck on Luna? Or one of the guards? Or Sunset? She's like that!" Twilight 2 moaned, rubbing against the offending hoof.

"No, you're the closest in density." Cadence said, grinning, opening her mouth and-

Nothing.

Twilight opened her eyes, the two were frozen, their bodies transparent, as if made of glass or crystal. "When was this?" Twilight wracked her brain to uncover where this memory came from. "Oh, that's right. Celly was having a fetish party with Pinkie downstairs, and Shining was waiting for Cadence. She needed help sucking on a horn correctly." She blushed, "Her tongue can really work a mare up." She chuckled, as the two shattered into dust, and a new path opened up.

She trotted along, passing by purple tendrils, who waved at her, a memory surfaced, and another copy of her appeared, her eyes buried in an old spell tome she had discord hidden in the Adults Only section entitled, Pleasurable Spells and Poultices Vol. 1, by Bone Her, a former actress and gossip columnist turned author. Twilit giggled like a schoolfilly, a rosé blush painting her cheeks as her horn glowed, preparing the spell.

She laid back, spreading her haunches, as a portal in space and time opened, and, to her delight, a surging mass of tendrils burst forth, wrapping around her body, entering her marehood, plot, and one sliding in and out of her mouth. It had been a pleasurable and unforgettable moment indeed, and she had actually cast the spell several more times, like the previous night, though, it had been Celestia doing most of the penetration of her orifices.

This image too shattered into dust, floating into the multicolored sky, swirling among the moon, before vanishing. Seeing the path had need, Twilight urged around, to find a door standing a few feet away, with an oddly shaped-

"Why is the handle a bucking dick?" She asked in a deadpan tone, trotting over to the door. It was curved, and very much erect. Her eye twitching, she slowly grasped the warm, pulsating, green shaft, and turned, as she was bathed in a harsh white light. Shielding her eyes, she slowly trotted through.

Wiping her hooves on the floor, she looked around. Twilight was now on what appeared to be a small island, a single large tree, grey trunk and leaves as white as the first of winter's snow, stood in the center. Looking around the island, she saw the ocean, the Imposing moon reflected on its dark waters.

"Curiouser and curiouser." Twilight noted, before looking up at the moon. While it was still spinning, it also appeared to be shimmering, fading in and out of existence faster than a Sonic Rainboom, or Derpy and her twin sister Ditzy with muffins. "Unless Luna's high or wasted off her plot, that is not something you see everyday." She mused, smirking.

Walking over to the tree, she could see two figures standing by, a filly version of herself, and Princess Mo-Celestia, Princess Celestia. Filly's Twilight's horn glowed, as several books around her glowed in her lavender tinted aura, and shakily rose into the air.

"I did it!" Filly Twilight grinned, her eyes beaming as she began hopping around the Princess, "I dit it Princess!" She giggled.

Celestia smiled, "That's wonderful Twilight, you are showing wonderful progress." Celestia applauded, nuzzling her student, before glancing at the clock, "Ah, it's lunch time. " she said, turning to leave, Twilight at her hooves. As they entered the door, time froze for them, as their bodies, like the other images from her past, became, transparent and still.

"That was a few weeks after I became Celly's student." Twilight remembered, smiling wistfully as memories of years ago came back, racing through the young Alicorn's mind like a swarm of bees on fire, which had actually happened, last month if she recalled correctly. Let's just say it involved the Cutie Mark Crusaders, a bee hive they had found, duct tape, and one of Flutteeshy's old saddles, and leave it at that.

"Yes, and might I say you looked quite adorable as a filly, Twilight Sparkle." A familiar voice said, one that could only belong to one, if somewhat hammy, mare. Princess Luna smiled, trotting out from behind the tree, "Enjoying your dream Twilight?"

Twilight nodded, before a question popped in her head, "Um, Princess, what were you doing behind that tree?" Se asked, arching an eyebrow at the elder Princess.

Luna blushed beet red, "Um, private behind-a-large-tree business." She said, sweating bullets, before waving a hoof, "Um, it matters not what I do behind large trees while patrolling dreams, that's my business. Now, how are you enjoying this dream?" She asked again.

"It's nice, got a small trip down memory lane, got banged by magical tendrils from another dimension, the usual." Twilight joked, smiling brightly, "So, any nightmares yet Luna? I'm sure you must be busy." She noted.

Luna shook her head, "Sadly, not many. Anyhoof, there is something I wish to ask you about," She gestured with a hoof, as still copies of Tight Leash, brandishing her whip at three cowering foals appeared nearby. "When those foals attacked you, why did you not strike them down?" She asked.

Twilight sighed, hanging her head, "I could never take the life of an innocent foal, especially not after what that...that succubus, did to them. Those cuts, burns marks, scars, collars." Tears dropped down her eyes. "I would never, ever be able to live with myself if I had just killed them, I wouldn't have been able to return the, to their families or find new ones for them. Casting a sleep spell was mercy, I hope they're all alright." She said.

Luna put a hoof to her mouth, wiping away Twilight's glistening tears with a soft swipe of her wing, the freshly preened feathers tickling Twilight, The Night Princess smiled. "That is the answer I was looking for. If you strike down all those in your way to get to your target, the innocent with the guilty, then you would be no better then they who you have been sent to kill." She kissed Twilight on the forehead, as the images of Tight and her "children" crumbled into dust, and blew away, "Remember that, always, and you will keep your soul intact."

Twilight nuzzled the Princess' midnight blue coat, a small smile retuning to her face, "Thank you Luna, I needed that." She sniffled, "And thank you for the advice, I'll remember it always." She then relaxed her hold on the lunar mare, "And, thank The Marker this is all a dream. When I first "woke up" I though I had accidentally ate some of Pinkie's Caramel Pop Rock Cake, again." For some odd reason, whenever Twilight ate a mixture of ~~Caramel~~, er caramel, and pop rocks, she would start to hallucinate and see some freaky horseapples, and some of them involved Celestia dressed like a banana, Luna dressed like a chicken, er Scootaloo, and strobe light effects. "So, any interesting dreams yet?" She asked, sitting by the large oak tree, laying back.

Luna shook her head, "Oh, a few, but I won get into much detail. Though, your friend Fluttershy is into some surprising kinks, as is Rarity. How is her relationship with Spike going?" She joined the younger Alicorn by the tree, looking o at the shimmering moon.

Twilight smiled brightly, her eyes beamin, "They're doing quite well. Their first date went wonderful." She mused, laughing, "You wouldn't believe how many times I've heard Spike mumble in his sleep about their banging. I'll never look at a frying pan the same way again." She shuddered, her feathers ruffled. "Patrolling the Dreamscaoe must be wonderful," she clacked her front hooves together, "So, I was wondering, if you could teach me how to do it?"

Luna hummed, tapping her chin with a hoof, her absentminded horn shooting off a few stray sparks, signaling she was thinking. "I can, and I probably will. Though, be warned, it takes massive amounts of concentration, a large amount of meditation, and a diaper or somepony frequently hauling you into the bathroom. Trust me, the last one is very important." She said, her cheeks blushing a faint red hue, before disappearing in her midnight blue coat, prodding Sparkle with a hoof.

Twilight chuckled, "I know that. You have no idea the number of times that's happened, it was a witch to clean up, and it took time out of reading too." She blushed, "It is quite beautiful, in an odd sort of way." Twilight said, looking too up at the moon, a small flock of leather-bound books flitting across its surface, the book bindings flapping in the air.

"Thank you Twilight, even in a dream, I do my best with the night sky." Luna smiled, before hearing a faint ticking sound, just out of her view. "Ah, it seems it is time for Celestia to raise the sun, and I to lower the moon, I shall see you again, my friend." She smiled, as she dissapeared into a dark blue mist and feathers, and a blinding golden light enveloped Twilight's vision.

Yawning, Twilight rubbed her eyes, sitting up. Celestia lay in bed next to her, sucking her hoof, the one thing she did when nopony was looking, cute as always, her hirn's glow fading. The dream had ended, as had the night, like it must. Twilight sighed, smacking her lips. She looked over, making sure her katana was still propped by her bedstand, thankfully, it was, ever faithful. Her bionic arm pulsates, causing her to wince. She couldn't remember where she got it, only that she woke up, and that was it, it was there. She flexed it, as the internal gears whirred and buzzed.

"I need to oil this dang thing." Twiligh muttered to herself, as her stomach grumbled loudly, she put a hoof to it." But first, breakfeast." She stretched, getting out of bed quietly, so as not to disturb her slumbering lover. Pecking Celestia on the forehead, she made her way to the dining room, humming.