Dreams of Hearthwarming
"If the wind is chilling and the fire is willing,
Stay a while if you can"
She always had a lovely voice. Not sweet or charming, but unique upon her own. Normally I'd catch her humming in the basement. She had this way of knowing the second I would step down the stairs, the lovely little tune fading into the dust and tables. She'd act like nothing had happened even when I asked about it.
Sad. Those songs were always sad.
Then again she was a sad little pony.
I tried to make for up her shortcomings in life with humor. I was terrible at it. Always with a giggle to give, she would tell me point blank "You're killing me! Stop!" or "Hang the jester! His jokes are murder!" or something silly like that. An honest, kindhearted soul was she.
Her parents couldn't see that. Or didn't want to. Everypony knew she was nothing more than an obligation. Get married, have foals. Doesn't matter if you should be parents, society demands it. Not that they were bad ponies. Just not loving. A hug between them was friendly, but never more.
Yet, sometimes I had to wonder. One time she surprised her father by jumping from around a corner. He was surprised alright. I laughed at first, having been the one to egg her on, however something wasn't right. As she snorted with her hooves over her face in delight at the prank, he just stood there frozen. Pale faced like he'd seen death incarnate.
I'd get similar looks. Most ponies despised me. My line of business had a short client list and I scraped by week by week on hobby jobs and coupons. It's why she and I became friends.
The Taxidermist,
The Funeral Host,
Instant best friends, hold the romance.
Yeah, don't get the wrong idea. She was great, but my barn door doesn't swing at all.
The day that set our futures in motion was the day my mother died. Her death led my father, my twin brothers, and I to a quaint little funeral house covered in daffodils. The place was swamped in yellow with patches of reds and pinks and all other kinds of floral decoration.
My father was led into a back office by a dapper stallion. He wore the title of funeral director, but was nothing more then a business buck. They were arranging the details. "Dress or no dress? Makeup? Would you like natural instead? We sell a nice mahogany. Should you be unable to pay now, we offer a reasonable installment plan..."
It made me sick.
Frustrated with everything going on, I couldn't stay still. I wandered between the display caskets wondering what Mom would look like in one. Then this little filly appears, a few years younger than me. Doesn't even have a cutie mark yet. "It's nice isn't it?" I nodded."Satin. The best." I was silent. "It'll be okay. We'll take good care of her."
The sobbing started then. Mom's death wasn't truth for me until she said that; a tiny filly holding a teenage colt in her arms, patting my back, letting me cry and drool snot down her shoulder. If that's not a friend worth having, then something's wrong with the world.
Unfortunately, the world has a way of doing that.
War came to Equestria. For me, it swept in overnight. One day I was sipping Earl Gray with lemon, trying to patch some hides, and the next thing I know I'm sipping healing potions and sewing ponies back together. Near the end, the threat of balefires looming, they'd take anypony with needle and thread.
"Warmth of hearts all around, friends abound
Come and stay for a little while longer"
I went home for Hearthwarming that final year. She got the whole gang together. Since the start we were all pulled in different directions.
The comic artist with a portfolio of propaganda.
The beekeeper stinging stripes with air strikes.
The grocery store owner with a pair of tickets and too many friends.
And then there was her. War was a great business partner for obvious reasons. She got so busy selling that near the end I had trouble getting a call in, the line always buzzing. I regret not trying harder.
I could of too. A week before I had been discharged. Apparently when you mistake grenades for apples nopony really wants to sit near you. I'd seen too much and my seams started to unravel. So home I went, almost. Had to stay with Mr.Propaganda. Fought with him over that by the way. Just another regret. But I'd washed enough soldiers blood out of my mane to know those posters were first place ribbon worthy pieces of shit. Should of behaved myself though,his sister being MIA over the Everfree.
Then came the bombs. I find it funny now, being on that train out of the city. Last one before a lock-down training drill of the station. Irony doesn't take a vacation even for the end of the world.
"Give a little cheer to chase away the drear,
Hold your love ones tight, forget all the fights,
For Hearthwarmings visiting again this year"
Something knocked the train free of the tracks. A shock wave or another smaller bomb, I don't know. After we came to a rest, pony screams in the background, I bolted out of there. Didn't even stop to help. I'd heard the rumors of the balefires and I was having walking nightmares of my friends burning alive. I would never be able to wash their blood from my mane if I let that happened.
The goddesses must hate me. Canterlot was sealed off with Mr. Propaganda in the center of it. Ms.Grocery Store Owner ran for the promised land, the so called stables. More than likely she didn't run, probably strolling calmly down the sidewalks instead. My cousin just didn't let the world phase her. Didn't matter if the city was dying.
Since I couldn't save them, I ran for the last one I had a chance at. I felt my bones burn and my skin crackle as I fought forward towards the only pony who ever understood me.
Yeah. I'm pretty sure I pissed them both off.
My legs gave out going down the highway. Huffing and puffing with a deep ashy fire in my chest I keeled over. Crawled until I could prop myself against a tipped cart. Things just started to bleed and my hooves were far too heavy for an attempt at trying to stop the draining of my fluids.
I sat there dyeing as a complete failure.
At the very least I had a nice view as the last sunset started.
"Raw....Rawhide?"
Oh look, a hallucination. "Is this the beginning of a bad joke?"
"No. It can't be. You're....you're.."
"Ya know, I thought angels were supposed to comfort the dying."
She just stared at me. The visage of her trying to keep back tears. "Rawhide, I'm so sorry!"
"Hey, that's my line! Thanks for taking the last thing left living for." I tried to throw my hooves up to mock the image but I could only manage half a shrug. Radiation sure does suck.
My balefired brain's hallucination of my best friend then slapped me. Hard might I add. "Fuck Jolly Joy! What's that for!" Didn't know my brain could make me hurt like that. "Not that I don't deserve it, but damn."
Then Jolly Joy wrapped her hooves around me tighter than she ever had before. She cried on my shoulder while her snot mixed with my blood. Red and green. Festive.
"Hey now, I know I failed real bad. But do you have to give me the deluxe guilt ride?" I laughed.
Her own laugh felt like nails on a chalkboard to my ears. Grainy and rusted, like a bad smoker. She looked terrible. Sickly. My knee jerk reaction was to shove it away, but I shoved that thought as far down into Tartarus as it would go. Okay, so my brain decided my hallucination needed a cliche zombie version of Jolly Joy. I didn't mind. Not now at least.
"If the wind is chilling and the fire is willing,
Stay a while if you can"
We just stayed there as the sun started to fade beyond the horizon. A pony enjoying a final hug. She started to fade away. I knew my time was running short, the reaper pony edging his sickle closer inch by inch. The music that had been playing in my head was cutting out. The band going down with the ship.
"The fire is cooling, and soon you'll need to go
Don't worry 'bout the snow, for I'll be walking you home
So let's just listen to winter pass us by"
Her lips were moving, her body drifting off away from me. "Ra-----id-----It'll-----okay. We'll---- go-----od------ care"
"Huh? You're gonna have to speak up! My brains are leaking out my ears by now!"
Every tear in the world was coming off her face. She took a deep breath and shouted. Jolly put all her effort into it, I could tell. And I heard it. "IT'LL BE OKAY! WE'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU!"
I smiled. I tried to wave. I couldn't move. Slumping over I saw the sun glisten over the hill of a war torn land. As the light died away Jolly Joy vanished. Even my mind was too weak to play games now.
The music stilled hummed. A tune for another time and place.
"If the wind is chilling and the fire is willing,
Stay a while if you can
Just a little while is you can"
Sad. Those songs were always sad.
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Jolly Joy pulled the machine off, holding the helmet over her face. If she looked long enough she might see him again. See that horrible day once more. But it was worth it. A little more time with her best friend was worth all the caps, bullet holes, and terrible memories in the world. She'd go through the last 200 plus years again just for another chance.
"Do you need help getting out?" A stallion asked. With a wave of his magic he unplugged the sensors from the nerve points. It didn't even hurt, much. With another wave he started pulling out the depleted talismans.
"So that's it then?"
"I'm afraid so. The materials alone took years already, never mind the payments you still owe me."
Jolly Joy sighed. She guessed as much. Five decades of scavenging every corner of the wastes on a rumor alone had amassed to this moment. This very special moment. The unicorn flipped a switch at his console bringing the pod like machine down. "I'm getting too old to be digging up bodies in hopes of research notes, JJ."
Jolly sighed. Old was a relative term to her. She almost contemplated never getting out. Let em bury her in here if they wanted. But she had a job to finish. The wasteland still had skeletons left to bury.
With a tap she shut the radio off.
As she grabbed the few things she brought with her the unicorn talked. "I hope you're happy. Wasting a machine like that on some paltry high school reunion. We could of found some pony who knew a princess. Used their memories as constructs, warned them of the dangers to come. But no, we had to do it your way."
Jolly just laughed. "And you wouldn't be alive today Blue Burn?"
Blue Burn fell silent. Truth always came last. "No. I guess not." He bit his lip before pushing his glasses back up. "Well JJ, what's next for you? Stop a Steel Ranger army? End slavery? Get a boyfriend?"
"Are you offering?"
Blue Burn back tracked quickly. "Yes, because I would so love to cuddle with beef jerky. That's just my dream to hold shoe leather between my hooves for the night."
With a snorting gigging, Jolly Joy hugged the buck. She could feel his rib cage, the cold in his veins. "Thank you." His body wasn't letting him eat. "Thank you for everything." She knew the signs.
They waved goodbye before Jolly entered into the dark. Not far from the little shack with a big secret, she found the imposing figure of a hell hound. "Was it really him?"
"Yup."
"Oh..." The facade of the hellhound form faded revealing the sleek tall figure of a changing queen. Beezus's ears dropped. "I'm happy for you."
Jolly Joy wasn't fooled. Her old friend couldn't hide her emotions from the ghoul no matter the shape. "I offered the chance."
"Yes. You did. But I'm no longer the mare I used to be. And you needed those caps." If it wasn't for the bee cutiemark on her flanks, you would never know she was once an ordinary pegasus. Heaving saddle bags onto her frame the changeling looked up. It was beginning to snow. "I wish they could have known at least. MIA? They didn't even look." She helped Jolly hook up the wagon. "And it was a little crush. He was happier to see you, right?"
Jolly Joy felt the smile creep across her face. "He was dying, Buzz. It was that day all over again." Beezus lowered her head, not even trying to correct the earth mare on the name. Had she been given the chance she would have gone to see her brother Punchline instead of Rawhide. It was unfair that he had to die in Canterlot, alone, melted to a printing press. She still felt the eyes of the posters judging her. Asking how she was still alive and not him. All her other friends that deserved life.
Punchline should of been with Uno. Should of been in a stable. Safe and sound, together at last. All he had to do was accept a ticket. All Uno had to do was offer it.
Jolly Joy tested the wagon's weight before pulling out. Beezuz followed. "So what's the next stop? The hive will last another week without me."
Jolly Joy smiled again and pointed in a direction. It would take them near Ponyville, up the highway. "We're going to see the sunset. Hearthwarming Eve is tomorrow after all."
"The sunset? But JJ that's impossible. The clouds-" Beezus was cut off by Jolly's humming as they headed down the road. She knew that tune. It was played at a party she'd gone too. The last one where the gang was all together. It was a surprise the ghoul even remembered it.
Beezus soon enough found herself singing along.
"If the wind is chilling and the fire is willing,
Stay a while if you can
Just a little while is you can"
Author's Note
Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays.
Hopefully I didn't ruin it just now.
Jolly Joy, Rawhide, Buzz/Beezuz,Punchline and Uno wish you the best this upcoming year.
(With editing help from Demichev)
