Trollight

by Anonymous Pony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Random, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1603

Twilight writes an offensive novel, and everypony isn't quite pleased with her...

In an alternate Equestria Twilight Sparkle couldn't make any friends. Sad and lonely in her library in Ponyville, Twilight writes one of the most controversial and offensive novels ever to exist in Equestria in hopes that it would get the attention of at least somepony. What happens next is a bit more than she could have asked for...

-----Author's Note-----

This short story is meant as sort of a viewpoint on troll-fictions (stories created for the sole purpose of "trolling" or annoying readers). It's sort of a message on how you come off to others and the reality of what you're doing. I got the idea from a good friend of mine while I was visiting him, and decided I would make a story about it. I kept it short because I felt the point is pretty self explanatory.

Dedicated to the friend who inspired me to write it.

Published 2012-03-15 00:34:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-15 00:34:02 UTC

Trollight

Trollight

Anonymous Pony

Clacking away at an old typewriter, Twilight lifted her hoof to her forehead and brushed the sweat from her brow before hammering down on more keys relentlessly. Every clack of the machine drew her closer and closer to her goal. Soon she’d have the completed manuscript for her latest novel. She had spent nearly three months trying to complete this masterpiece. Held up in her library all by herself she would type away stopping only to eat and sleep, and attend to the occasional pony coming to check a book out.

Her time in Ponyville was distressful to say the least. Her mentor had sent her here months ago to acquire some friends; however she wasn’t having much luck. Her interests didn’t exactly strike up enthralling conversation with many of the residents in town, most becoming bored with her after only a few moments of conversing.

Children would play near her home, but even they would not offer her a passing glance. They would laugh, point and mumble about the librarian being an “egghead”. She would sigh at their torment, but she knew it to be true.

She had spent her first few weeks trying to extend a friendly gesture out to anypony who came her way, only for them to reject her. It wasn’t long before she held herself up in the library with her faithful assistant, Spike.

Sitting in her rejection and sorrow an idea struck her. She would write a novel, but not just any novel, the most controversial novel ever written. No pony could possibly ignore her then, they’d be forced to pay attention to the mare for once, and perhaps hear what she has to say.

With a few more hoof-clicks on the dusty old typewriter Twilight finally rested her hooves and leaned back admiring her work. A smile crossed her lips as she took a little pride in what she had done. There before her stood the most controversial story that Equestria had ever seen, and it was all thanks to her. After she was finished patting herself on the back she hollered for her beloved assistant.

“Spike! Spike! Where are you?” Her voice echoed throughout the library.

Crawling out from the kitchen with a sandwich in his claw, a lavender youthful dragon approached her with an annoyed expression on his muzzle.

“What? What’s going on? I thought today was our day off?” He took a bite of his sandwich.

Twilight grabbed the serpent and adjusted his face towards the old typewriter.

“It’s finally done Spike! I finally finished it!” Twilight squealed.

Spike lifted her hooves from his skull and leaned in to get a better look at the scraps of paper piled up on the desk.

“I don’t know Twilight, I mean are you sure this is a good idea?” Spike raised a brow at the unicorn.

“Of course it is Spike; everyone will know the name Twilight Sparkle. I’ll be famous throughout Equestria! This will get everyone talking!” Twilight proclaimed.

“If you say so…” Spike smiled sheepishly.

“Now Spike, I need you to take this down to the printing press and order three hundred copies, and then I need you to pass them all out to every pony in town.” Twilight grinned.

“Why can’t you do it? It’s my day off…” Spike groaned.

“Don’t be ridiculous Spike; I need to prepare for all the autographs I’m going to be signing!” Twilight threw the manuscript into the dragon’s claws before trotting away.

Sighing, Spike shook his head knowing this would end in disaster, but decided to humor Twilight anyways. He chuckled a little thinking about taking a nap when he finished his tasks.

“I can’t wait Spike! I’m so excited! I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited before! Are you excited because I sure am!” Twilight was bouncing up and down.

Spike placed a claw over her mouth and gave a gesture suggesting that the overly peppy unicorn sit down. Twilight did as the dragon suggested.

“Chill Twilight, you’re going to have a heart attack if you keep it up…” He cautioned.

Twilight laughed.

“Sorry Spike, it’s just I can’t wait for ponies to start coming for my book signing!” Twilight’s face lit up with a grin.

“Yeah Twilight, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that…” Spike raised a claw.

“Every pony in town is going to want to know the genius behind this work of comedy genius!” Twilight ignored the dragon and stroked her ego.

“Twilight, it’s just…” Spike attempted to intervene, but Twilight continued on humoring herself.

“I have created art Spike, art!” Twilight nodded to herself.

“Yeah Twilight, see the thing is…” He was cut off again.

“Twilight the artist that has a nice ring to it. Maybe I should start dressing more artistic from now on…?” Twilight thought out loud.

Spike finally gave up and shook his head. There was no getting through to her now; her ego was so big she could trip on it.

Her self appreciation was interrupted however by a pound on her door, to which she jumped from her chair and sprinted to greet her first guest with a smile on her face.

“Hello?” She asked.

A rather thuggish looking stallion stood at her doorframe. He tilted his head down to her level.

“Are you Twilight Sparkle?” He asked.

“Yes, that’s me!” Twilight gave an arrogant gesture.

“Right,” He nodded.

He turned his head and shouted in the distance.

“This is the place guys!” He yelled.

Twilight tilted her head in confusion. She wasn’t given any time to react however, as before she knew it, a large mob of ponies flooded into her home with what appeared to be torches and copies of her novel. Upon seeing them all flood in she took a few steps back, intimidated by the large crowd.

“If you all just line up in an orderly fashion, I’d be happy to sign all of your copies…” Twilight spoke nervously.

“You’re not signing anything!” A pink mare in the front screamed.

“Huh?” Twilight questioned.

“This was perhaps the most darn offensive bunch of horseapples ah’ ever read!” Another mare spoke through her thick southern accent.

“This book was so bad; I don’t think I’m ever going to read another book for as long as I live!” An aqua colored pegasus hissed.

“There are real ponies out there suffering through these kinds of things! What gives you the right to sit there and make humor out of their suffering!?” A colt yelled from the second row.

“Let’s get her!” A voice from the back screamed.

The mob members agreed in unison and started their advance towards the unicorn.

Frantically Twilight scampered to the corner, trying to put as much distance between herself and the mob before her as possible. Pinned up again the bookcase she started levitating books from the shelf and hurling them at the ponies advancing towards her. The books had little to no effect on them.

Twilight panicking began to feel more and more trapped as they approached.

“WAAAAAAAAIT!” A familiar voice screamed.

The mob ceased their advance and all attention was turned to a young dragon in the room.

“Everypony listen up. Twilight didn’t mean all that stuff she wrote, right Twilight?” Spike looked in her direction.

Twilight nodded nervously.

“Then why did she write such… Such… Filth!?” A rather sophisticated unicorn spoke.

“I was just trying to get ponies to pay attention to me. I’ve been in Ponyville for almost four months now, and every time I try and make friends ponies just ignore me… I thought that by making a book like this I’d get at least a little attention…” Twilight turned her head away in shame.

“But dear, why would you want attention from making every pony in town angry with you?” The sophisticated mare questioned.

“I don’t know… I guess I was a little desperate and I thought even negative attention was at least attention…” Twilight admitted.

The mare with the southern accent stepped out of the crowd.

“Well ah’ admire your honesty little missy, but don’t go around tryin’ to upset folk just for attention. There’s other ways to grab folk’s attention than just tryin’ ta’ get under their skin.” The mare spoke.

Twilight nodded and stood up.

“I’m sorry everypony…” Twilight smiled.

“It’s alright darling, we forgive you,” the sophisticated unicorn spoke.

Twilight let out a deep sigh of relief before calling her dragon assistant over.

“Spike, take a letter.” Twilight instructed.

Obeying the dragon drew up a quill and a scrap of parchment ready to jot down his friend’s thoughts to the princess.

“Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that it can be hard sometimes to get ponies to notice you, and that you can even feel like no pony notices you’re there. It’s important however to remember that you shouldn’t let your pleas for attention get out of hand. There’s no point in getting attention if it’s just going to be negative attention.” Twilight began.

“Your attention gartering could hurt somepony’s feelings…” Twilight smiled at the white unicorn, who returned the smile.

“It could make somepony sad…” She continued.

“And it could even ruin something entirely for some pony…” She looked up at the blue pegasus from before.

“There’s no point in trying to make everypony angry, just for a little attention.” Twilight finished.

Spike scribbled down the last sentence and cast his flames upon it, sending it off to the majestic princess in Canterlot. Twilight smiled and let out a loud heartfelt laugh, to which the rest in the room soon followed.