Practically perfect in every way.
Author's Note
[Full edited version to come.] Any errors, feel free to let me know!
Practically perfect in every way.
When They Were Young: The New Nanny
A tale from the Youngverse.
“Are you sure about this?” Aeterna asked with a frown.
The unicorn snorted as she briskly walked down the corridor, nose in the air and an very unhappy expression on her face, “I’m quite certain, your majesty.”
“What if we double the pay?” Terra asked as he followed behind his wife.
“I’m sorry, but my mind is made up.” The unicorn refused, “I was very patient with the two dears but this!” She pointed to the stains of the banana pie remains on her face, “This was the last straw!”
Aeterna shot a glare at Terra who stifled a snicker before turning back to the unicorn, “Well… we can’t force you, Summer Song.”
“Yes we could…” Terra mumbled.
Aeterna shot him another glare that silenced him immediately. Thankfully, Summer Song hadn’t heard him.
“Well then, good day, your majesties.”
And with that, Summer Song exited the main doors of the palace and down towards the streets of Canterlot with her nose still high in the air. Aeterna sighed and shook her head.
“That’s the third nanny this month…”
“I know…” Terra sighed back. “We need to talk to them, Aeterna.”
“I know, I know…” Aeterna frowned. “I just don’t want to be too hard on the foals.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll talk to them,” Terra replied before he headed off towards the sibling’s play room.
“Avast, mateys!” Luna declared. “Your booty will be mine!”
Luna grinned at her sister who was standing on top of a large makeshift fort made of books.
Celestia let out a combination of a snicker and a snort. “You said booty.”
Luna giggled as she clutched tighter to her ‘ship’. A rather bored looking bat pony.
“Nev-ARR the less! Your booty will be mine!”
“Never!” Celestia declared. “The Solar Empire’ navy will destroy you, evil pirate!”
“We shall see! Attack now, my loyal ship!” Luna cried, swinging the wooden sword she was holding in her magic.
Mister Chives sighed as she started to head towards the box fort before the door to the playroom opened and King Terra stepped in. Chives immediately stopped and gave the king a ‘help me’ look which only made the king chuckle to himself.
“Busy are we?” He chuckled.
“TIA!” Luna squeaked and pointing her hoof at their father. “KRAKEN!”
“GET IT!” Celestia cried.
The two siblings jumped off their respective perches and charged their father who was tackled to the floor, laughing as the two fillies began a merciless and evil tickle assault.
“O-okay girls! Enough,” Terra said in between laughs.
The girls giggled as they got off their father who grunted as he stood up and looked down at them, his facial expression become very serious. “We need to have a talk about something.”
Instantly, the girls stopped their giggling and looked at their father with a look of worry, knowing what ‘talk’ meant.
“Okay, daddy…” they mumbled as they headed to the study with their heads hanging low.
Terra sighed as he looked over to Chives, “You’d best go get some rest, I’m going to be with them for a while.”
Chives saluted him before heading off out of the playroom and away to the barracks as Terra walked after his daughters.
The two siblings sat beside each other on the large sofa that rested in their father’s study. They each had their ears lowered and faces looking towards the ground as the large cuckoo clock that hung on the wall of the study slowly tick-tocked in the silence. Terra was sitting at his desk resting his hooves under his chin as he looked at his daughters, gauging their facial expressions.
“So, do you two know why we’re having a talk?” He asked them both.
“Yes, daddy…” they both replied with a mumble.
“I didn’t quite catch that,”
“Yes, daddy,” the both said louder this time.
“Which is?”
“We were mean to nanny Summer Song...” Celestia replied.
“Because we played pranks on her...” Luna finished.
“Yes, that’s exactly it.” Terra replied with a sigh. “What am I going to do with you girls? This is the third nanny you’ve somehow managed to scare away!”
“But daddy!” Celestia whined. “We don’t need a nanny! We have Mister Chives!”
Terra rolled his eyes, “Yes, I know. But what about when he’s not able to keep an eye on you due to his other duties, and your mother and I are unable to ourselves?”
The siblings were about to keep protesting but remained silent, knowing their father was right no matter how much they hated it.
“When we get a new nanny, will you two please get along with her?” Terra asked.
“Fiiiiine,” they replied in unison.
“Good, oh and by the way. You’re not allowed any cookies for a month,” Terra added.
“WHAT?!” they both screamed.
Terra raised his eyebrow as he gave them a stern look that silenced them. “Okay, you two can go play now.”
The two slumped off the sofa and headed for the door with their heads lowered before Terra coughed into his hoof gaining their attention.
“Just… what did you do exactly?” Terra asked, his mischievous side creeping up.
“We made a banana pie and Luna lured her into the hallway where I was hiding,” Celestia began.
“Tia then jumped out from behind the grandfather clock and shouted ‘DODGE!’ before throwing the pie in nanny’s face. Nanny made a squeal noise that sounded like a confused piggy,” Luna finished with a giggle.
Terra stared at the two fillies who were trying not to laugh as not to bring any more trouble on themselves when their father suddenly burst out laughing. Not noticing the figure now standing in the doorway.
“Oh by the ancestors! I’ll give you girls that. That was—” Terra froze and his eyes went wide. “Oh… hello dear.”
Aeterna stared at him from the doorway with a sharp gaze that could slice through the strongest armor. “You are so going to regret laughing at that later, dear.”
Terra gulped and looked down as the two fillies tried their best not to laugh at their father’s misfortune.
“As for you two,” she turned her attention to her daughters. “I just sent a message to the nanny agency, so you will have a new nanny tomorrow hopefully. And this time you will behave, okay?”
“Yes, mummy,” they both said.
“Good, now run along. I need to talk to your father,”
They quickly scampered out of the study as Aeterna used her magic to close the door and looked over at her husband who was now looking fearfully at her.
“N-now, hunny—”
“No cider for a month,” Aeterna interrupted with a smirk.
Terra’s eyes went so wide they rivaled the size of dinner plates and his facial expression would give them the impression he had received the worst possible news a pony could get.
Which for him, it was.
The next morning was a difficult one for the King and Queen. After a scroll that was delivered first thing in the morning alerted the King and Queen to the arrival of the nanny later that day, the siblings had been acting difficult and were either purposely disobeying their parents requests or making a massive scene over a small request. Growing tired of their attitude, the two had put their daughters in a ‘time out’ in their playroom and were being guarded by Chives until the nanny arrived.
Luna grumbled as she pushed herself along the floor of the playroom with her hind legs, her upper body and legs lying flat on the floor. Celestia was laying on a toy desk, glaring towards Chives who in turn was glaring back at her.
“Glare all you want, your highness,” Chives smirked, “I ain’t budging.”
Celestia thought of an idea and raised her hoof up slowly, keeping her glare on Chives and slowly brought it from left to right, “You will… let us out.”
“No… I won’t,” Chives replied.
Celestia did the same motion again and increased the intensity of her gaze, “You will… let us out!”
“I will… let you out,” Chives replied in a monotonic voice.
“Really?” Luna and Celestia gasped.
“Nope!” Chives smirked.
“Oh come on!” Celestia cried out in frustration.
Chives couldn’t help but chuckle as the sun princess pouted at him and crossed her front legs. He looked down to his side to see Luna looking up at him and his body froze up from the look she was giving him.
The puppy dog look.
“Please, Mister Chives?” Luna said softly. “We want to go out and play outside…”
“Well…” Chives started before shaking his head. “I’m sorry, princess. But your parents would be mad at me if I let you out without their permission.”
Luna frowned as she slumped over to the large manticore plush she owned in the room and flopped onto it as Celestia continued to glare at him.
“You’re like Obsidian, a grumpy face.”
“Is that so?” Chives chuckled.
“Hey, don’t be mean to Mister Chives!” Luna shouted at her sister.
“Well he is grumpy face!” Celestia snapped. “Chryssie would agree with me if she was here!”
“Well she’s not, and he is not a grumpy face!” Luna retorted.
“He is to, moon-butt!”
“Nu-uh, sun-butt!”
“Is to!”
“Is not!”
By now, the two siblings were standing mere inches apart form each other with a look of anger on each of their faces. Chives was about to step in when the door opened and he turned to see who had entered.
“You two will stop this noise, at once!” A female voice commanded.
The voice was very strong, a voice that would perfectly fit a commanding officer or a noble lord. Luna and Celestia turned to see a black unicorn with spectacles on her nose looking down at him with an unamused expression. Her mane was a dark grey as was her tail, her green eyes rivaled an emerald in colour and she was wearing a black and white dress that covered the majority of her body.
“W-who are you?” Luna asked softly.
“I, my dear filly. Am your new nanny.” The unicorn smiled. “I am Nanny Blackberry.”
Luna smiled at the unicorn, taking an instant like to her, “That’s a pretty name!”
“Why thank you, sweetie.” Blackberry tittered.
“Still don’t think we need a nanny,” Celestia grumbled.
Chives simply stared at the mare with wide eyes, not realising his jaw was dangling and he was slouching. Blackberry looked over at him and rolled her eyes.
“For goodness sake, you’re a stallion and a guard no less,” she tutted. “So stop slouching, close your jaw, and stand up straight.”
Chives blinked for a moment before he realised she was talking to him and scrambled back to a proper position, coughing into his hoof embarrassedly.
“There, now you look like a handsome stallion,” Blackberry winked with a soft giggle. “Come along you two, we have lunch to prepare.”
Chives blushed as Luna and Celestia followed after their nanny. Luna nudged Celestia and nodded at Chives and they both giggled, making the stallion blush even more.
As the two fillies followed the unicorn to the kitchen, Celestia nudged Luna in the side and leaned over.
“Psst, Luna,” she whispered.
“What?” Luna asked.
“I don’t like her, we don’t need a nanny. Right?”
“But… I like her,” Luna mumbled.
“You’re kidding me?!” Celestia cried a bit too loudly.
“Something the matter, Celestia?”” Blackberry asked.
“That’s Princess Celestia to you!” Celestia replied and stuck out her tongue.
“Well then… I see a filly doesn't want a chocolate spread sandwich for lunch.”
Luna gasped and jumped up and down on the spot with a large grin, “Are we going to have chocolate spread sandwiches?!”
“You can, Celestia can’t,” Blackberry replied.
Celestia’s jaw dropped as she stared at the unicorn in disbelief, her left eye twitching slightly.
“Yay!” Luna squealed in delight as she raced into the kitchen followed by Blackberry.
Celestia glared after Blackberry and slunked after them slowly, scrunching her face up as she grumbled, “You’ve made a powerful enemy, nanny…”
“Are you enjoying that sandwich, Luna?” Blackberry asked as she nibbled from her own.
“Mphyesh!” Luna replied with a mouthful of food.
Blackberry tittered, “Young filles speak with their mouths empty, Luna.”
Luna swallowed and giggled, “Sorry, nanny. I said yes!” She beamed up at her.
“Good, and how about you, Celestia?” she asked turning her attention to Celestia who was eating a simple dandelion sandwich.
Celestia only stuck her tongue out as she took an over exaggerated bite and continued to glare at Blackberry, chomping with her mouth open.
“Bad behaviour is not accepted, young filly,” Blackberry said. “Good behaviour is rewarded.
Celestia scowled as she continued to eat her sandwich, glaring at her traitorous sibling who was conversing with Blackberry happily. She then spotted out of the corner of her eye a medium sized glass bottle of tomato ketchup sitting on the nearby counter. Suddenly, an idea crept into the young fillies mind and she gave a wicked grin.
Making sure that neither Blackberry of Luna could see her, she carefully levitated the bottle over to her carefully, concealing the aura around her horn with a trick Discord had shown her a few months ago. Holding back a giggle, she lifted the bottle above Blackberry’s head and unscrewed the top and waited for the glorious tomato rain to fall upon her victim.
But nothing happened.
Celestia blinked in confusion and gently gave the bottle a shake and still nothing happened. She gritted her teeth and violently started to shake the bottle and still nothing happened.
“Oh come on!” Celestia shouted in frustration.
Both Blackberry and Luna looked at her with confused expressions, taken aback slightly from the sudden outburst.
“Is everything alright, Celestia?” Blackberry asked.
“Y-yeah, just something I forgot to do earlier that’s all,” Celestia lied.
Blackberry raised her eyebrow in suspicion as Celestia gave her a very unconvincing grin, “I see… well come along now, it’s time for a walk around the gardens I think.”
“Okay!” Luna giggled as she got down from the table and followed Blackberry.
Celestia just kept staring at the bottle of ketchup, gritting her teeth in anger giving it a series of rapid shakes, “Stupid bottle! Why didn’t you—”
She was interrupted as the bottle erupted and splattered the young princess from head to neck in tomato sauce.
Celestia blinked with wide eyes slowly as the sauce dripped off her face. Her vision was blinded suddenly when something was draped over her face and squeaked in alarm.
“Next time, Celestia. Ask for some help if you’re having trouble with the ketchup in the future. I’m happy to help.”
Celestia spun round to see Blackberry levitating a towel—now stained with ketchup— standing near the doorway with a giggling Luna behind her.
“Now come along,” Blackberry said as she levitated Celestia into the air.
“Where are we going?” Celestia asked with concern.
Luna giggled, “Tia needs a bath ‘cos she’s all messy and stinky!”
“Now, now Luna. Don’t tease your sister,” Blackberry scolded.
“Okay, nanny. Sorry,” Luna apologised.
Celestia, scowled and crossed her front legs as the unicorn led her towards the bathroom.
“Hold still, Celestia,” Blackberry tuttered.
Celestia only grumbled and crossed her front legs as Blackberry rubbed the sponge over her face, the bubbles of the soapy water popping every now and again. Luna watched with great amusement as her sister was cleaned of the tomato sauce.
Celestia gave her sister a glare that could kill a cockatrice stone dead, but Luna couldn’t help giggle at the predicament Celestia was in.
Celestia grumbled as she made her ways to the garden, each hoof stomp being over exaggerated as she scowled at the floor. Her coat was now back to its normal shining white colour as well as her mane and tail. However, her mane was now curly and looked as Celestia put it.
Girly.
And she hated it.
“I’m not going to let this go nanny…” she grumbled to herself.
As she entered the garden and looked up to see Luna chasing a butterfly happily whilst Blackberry sat on a nearby bench, Celestia spotted a puddle of mud near a rock garden and another brilliant and devious plan came to her.
“Celestia? Won’t you join us?” Blackberry asked her.
“Yeah, Tia!” Luna giggled. “Come join us!”
Celestia gave her best fake smile to them, “I will in a second, just want to go grab a ball for us.”
“Okay!” Luna grinned.
Celestia slunk back into the palace and hid behind the door, peeking out to wait for the right moment to move back outside. Once both Blackberry and Luna were looking away, Celestia slunk out and kept her body as close to the ground as she could, stretching her legs out to pull herself along the floor.
Wish I had something to hide in,like a box or something. Luna always seems to find them, she thought.
Coming up to the rock garden Celestia slowly made her way in and started to climb up the rock till she was peeking up over the rock having a perfect view of Blackberry. And most importantly, the muddy puddle.
“Now I have you…” Celestia cackled as she levitated a ball of mud into the air.
Sticking her tongue out and closing her left eye, she began the painstaking task of targeting Blackberry.
“Thanks for sitting still, you foal!” Celestia smirked.
As she shot the ball of mud at Blackberry, Luna suddenly squealed loudly.
“Nanny! Nanny! Look at this!”
Blackberry chuckled and got up to walk over to her, “And what’s that, Luna?”
Celestia’s jaw dropped as the mudball sailed past Blackberry, narrowly missing her and splatting into the grass.
“YOU’VE GOT TO BE—”
As Celestia shouted, she lost her balance and slipped falling straight into the muddy puddle with a squeal and a splash.
“This is getting ridiculous, Celestia,” Blackberry scolded. “You need to be more careful.”
Celestia glared at Blackberry as she felt the sponge go over her face once more, cleaning away at the mud. Luna was watching and like before, she was enjoying every moment of it with a mischievous smirk on her face.
“Oh, buzz off. Moon-butt!” Celestia grumbled and splashed water at Luna.
Luna only giggled as Blackberry bopped Celestia’s nose lightly.
“No name calling, young filly. Now hold still.”
Celestia grumbled to herself as she crossed her front legs and glared at her sister.
“Yes… yes this time for certain!” Celestia cackled and took a step back to admire her handy work.
After she had been bathed for a second time that day, Celestia had come up with a brand new scheme. One that absolutely, positively could not fail in the slightest.
She had spent her time after her bath avoiding Blackberry and Luna and had gathered up several liquid items ranging from tomato ketchup and mud, to water from the rain barrels kept in the gardens and milkshake from the kitchens.
Celestia had then gone into the palace gardens near the statue gardens and set up an elaborate trap where, if someone were to step on a certain point, then all the liquids—that she had then put into balloons—would be launched from a nearby tree thanks to a series of strings elaborately set up.
The trap was nearly enough to make Celestia cry with pride.
“Let’s see how you avoid this, nanny!”
“Avoid what?”
Celestia spun round to see Luna behind her, tilting her head in confusion at her sibling.
“O-oh hey, Luna… what are you doing here?” Celestia asked, trying to hide her actions behind her smile.
“Well… nanny Blackberry was looking for you and—”
Celestia’s eyes widened when Luna’s eyes trailed off towards the tree and spotted the balloons and gasped.
“You’re trying to play a prank on nanny Blackberry, aren’t you?!”
“So what if I am!” Celestia snapped. “We’ve done it before!”
“Yeah, but nanny Blackberry is nice and I like her. I won’t let you do this, Tia!” Luna cried before running away.
“Don’t you dare tattle on me! I’ve spent today waiting for this moment and you are not going to take this away from me!” Celestia cried as she shook her hoof after the running Luna. “We. Don’t. Need. A. Nan—”
She was interrupted as a loud roar startled her and a timberwolf leapt from behind the bushes and snarled at her. Celestia screamed as she tried to run but her legs wouldn’t respond.
The timberwolf licked its chops as it advanced slowly towards the shivering filly who was now crying in fear. Celestia closed her eyes as she waited for the timberwolf to make its move. Only, it didn’t get a chance.
“Back! You filthy brute!”
Celestia opened her eyes to see a beam of light grey slam into the timberwolf and sending it flying into the ground. She gasped seeing who it was and ran over to her crying with relief. Blackberry, with a shocked and scared Luna right behind her.
“Nanny!” Celestia cried and clung to her leg sobbing, “I’m so sorry!”
Blackberry smiled as she pulled the filly close and hugged her, “It’s okay, Celestia. I’m here now.”
The timberwolf’s snarl brought them back to reality and Blackberry stared down the wooden beast.
“I’ll give you this chance now, timberwolf. Leave and I won’t have the guards turn you to ash!”
Luna and Celestia gasped in surprise when the timber wolf suddenly took off again, leaving the three alone in the garden. Celestia started to cry again as she cuddled into Blackberry tightly.
“I’m sorry I tried to play pranks on you! I promise never ever, ever, ever to do it again!” she sobbed.
Blackberry smiled softly and kisses her head, “You’re forgiven, Celestia. Why don’t you take your sister and help yourself to some ice cream? My treat.”
The two siblings cried out in happiness before scurrying off towards the palace. Once they had gone, Blackberry giggled to herself before smirking to herself.
“You can come out now.”
“Finally…” a voice grumbled.
Blackberry turned round to see the timberwolf emerge from the bush before being engulfed in the same black aura of her magic and turning back into none other than Mister Chives.
“The King and Queen will kill me if they find out what I did for you…” he groaned and lowered his ears.
“Oh, nonsense,” Blackberry giggled. “Thank you for your services.”
“You owe me,” he grumbled. “How about I take you for dinner?”
Blackberry titterd and turned away, flicking his nose with the end of her tail. “I’ll think about it, I do know a lovely restaurant in town…”
Chives watched as the mare walked away before following her, shaking his head softly and sighing.
You’d do almost anything for those eyes, you daft sod… he thought to himself.
As the afternoon sun started its descent, the King and Queen were walking in the royal gardens along with Blackberry and the two siblings, who had stunned the rulers by how they were listening to Blackberry and doing what she asked of them.
“I’m impressed, nanny Blackberry. Truly impressed!” Terra grinned.
“I must admit, I am as well,” Aeterna added as she watched the two siblings run around the garden playing. “I was told you were good when I sent the letter but you’ve done what three nannies could not!”
“Well, it’s all about experience,” Blackberry smiled.
“We will double, no triple your pay!” Terra chuckled as they turned a corner.
“Oh you don’t need to do that,” she smiled.
“We insist,” Aeterna giggled. “And on behalf of me and my husband, welcome to our strange little family.”
“I’m honoured,” Blackberry smiled as she bowed.
“Yay! Nanny’s part of the family!” the two fillies cried in unison and hugged their nanny.
The two rulers smiled watching the display as they turned back to walk down the garden, only for Celestia to gasp in alarm as she saw where they were walking and was about to warn them.
But it was too late.
Terra’s hoof came into contact with some string and a series of bizarre noises could be heard, followed by the whizzing of balloons, as well as a loud series of splats as the balloons exploded on the King and Queen, covering them in the various liquids.
The whole garden was silent as the two rulers simply blinked in utter shock. Luna and Celestia burst out laughing and Blackberry struggled not to join in. A flapping sound soon dispelled the silence as Mister Chives landed on the grass softly.
“Your majesty's? I’ve come to inform you that lunch is—”
He stopped mid sentence as he looked up and saw the state the rulers were in. He took in their state for a few moments before slowly moving his head to the other three.
“Uh.. Princess Luna and Celestia… Nanny Blackberry?” Chives asked.
“Yes, Mister Chives?” They all replied in unison.
“Why are the King and Queen covered in... ancestors knows what?”
The End.
