Preoccu Pie

by BookWyrm

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Slice of Life
Length: 1361

A stallion who is always engrossed in matters other that the topic at hand tries to deal with the neurosis of life.

A stallion who is always engrossed in matters other that the topic at hand tries to deal with the neurosis of life.

(A venting exorcize, it's okay if you hate it or think it could have gone better,)

Published 2013-12-27 20:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-27 20:20:02 UTC

Haircut

Preoccu Pie

Dear Diary,

Today I went ahead and just cut my own mane. It has been getting progressively harder to keep clean as it grew out. I used one of those electric mane clippers they sell at Barn Yard Bargains. It was tricky, but I went over it a few times on the number five attachment and It actually looks alright.

Why cut my own mane?

why not just go to any of the three separate hair cutter places in town and get it done by someone who does it for a living?

well...

Foal Frizz caters to fillies and colts who are younger. I went there when I was really young but I'm fairly sure it would be weird for a stallion to go in and ask for a cut. Chances are I would get called a foal fiddler by some overprotective parent and shooed away by the management.

Even In a best case scenario I think I would just get a bunch of dirty looks from parents, have a bunch of foals point and ask why I was there, and then Not be able to fit in t
he super small foal sized barber shop chairs they have in there.

I also can't go to the Mane Salon in town. A lot of mares go there, and I would stand out. Kinda a poor excuse... But social norms exist for a reason... stupid reason... I mean, yes they could sell me some nice shampoo and conditioners which could help me keep my mane nice. Yes I could be attended to by a professional... but embarrassment!!!

...or at least a fear of embarrassment.

The third place was Just "Barbers Shop" which was a fairly comfortable place with four barbers, three stallions one mare. It was, of the three, probably the most socially acceptable place for me to go. However, there is one issue. I always get the mare.

why is that an issue you ask?

what? Is Preoccu Pie so pathetic that he cant handle basic interaction with a member of the opposite sex?

well... a bit

But there is other stuff too! she doesn't speak english all that well. So whenever I get her, I end up getting a ton of services I didn't ask for just for the sake of avoiding making a scene.

In the end I end up with twenty five bits gone and a haircut that only looks good with gooey product in my hair.

So yeah...

I bought a set of mane clippers from Barnyard Bargains and cut my own mane.

...To avoid social embarrassment...

But again, I did a pretty good job, I had to kinda guess on the back because I have this cowlick that makes my hair grow funny. But I was careful, and I used two mirrors to
see the back, so I think Its okay.

I'm gunna go clean up the bathroom because there are tuffs of blue hair everywhere. Then I'm gunna shower really quick and then go out to dinner, I will be back...

...

inconsiderate

Thoughtlessly causing hurt or inconvenience to others.

This word is probably one of the best ways I can think of for describing the eldest of my younger brothers, Pie Chart.

Pie Chart ruined dinner for me. It was supposed to be an enjoyable dinner with me, my brothers, and my step grandmother.

I have the distinct inclination that my step grandmother, Grandma Pearl, does not like me very much. But that is only a minor point in the story.

you see, I had made the mistake of telling Pie Chart that I had done the cut job myself.
(when we where young, we actually had to give each other haircuts to save money, so it wasn't something out of the blue)

At first everything was fine.

"It looks good." he said.

We sat down to dinner and began eating.

everything was fine...

But then it wasn't.

I feel something tugging at the very top of my short mane.
"you have a cowlick here." he said, still tugging.

"Yeah it looks funny there is nothing I can do about it." I say.
Self deprivation, although mild, and a clear cut resolution to the observation presented.

"No look, it's a good quarter inch longer that the rest of it," I can't see anything! I just feel you pulling on my mane, " I only just noticed, it looks fine flattened down, it's just weird." Then why bring it up in public!?

Offer a fix to the issue.
"If it looks bad then fix it for me real quick."
(I should explain, he is a unicorn, I am not)

"I'm not going to fix it here, we have food coming."

And then the attack... I doubt he meant it as such... But still, I feel there is a slight stigma against cutting ounces own hair. I think most people see it as an odd practice... Which does make sense considering that most people go to barbers.

"Why didn't you just get it cut at a barber?"

His voice, why is it so loud? I feel like he is always a hair short of yelling. I feel eyes on me... Or is it just Grandma Pearl? She isn't asking, she is just looking on with half hearted interest at our conversation as it turns to a spectacle.

Pie Chart see's her interest, and decides to tell the "whole story"

How I am not assertive and always end up with the Mexicanter pony. (He practically spits the last part).

I try to defend my position, but sadly I get off track. You see I actually speak a bit of the Mexicanter language... And the barber mare isn't from there, I think she's from stalliongrad or something. But I brought up that I speak a bit of another language, and suddenly I hear...

"No you don't preoccu" from Mud Pie.

Mud Pie, he is the youngest of my brothers. He is still in school, lots of promise. But in these situations he will always back Pie Chart for two reasons. One: Pie Chart will become belligerent towards him if he does not. Two: He feels a need to impress, and what is more impressive than beating your eldest brother in an argument?

So in the end I looked like a fool, the conversation turned to other things, but I still felt fairly embarrassed about being made fun of.

Poking fun, can be fun... But only if it's not cruel.

But if I bring it up later, I know exactly what Pie chart will do.

defend himself above all else. (Because he can do no wrong)

minimize my feelings and observations. (Not like MY feelings matter)

take advantage of my somewhat docile nature to put the issue to rest. Like shouting in a public place to make a scene or getting others whom we are both close to involved in what he would turn into a feud. (He would do it, he has before out of less)

I think that my brother is a inconsiderate pony. Because he is not by nature unkind. In fact, if his egoistic personality sees you as valuable to him, he can be a true ally.

So I guess that just means I am not worth the effort.

Worst thing is that I am a similar pony. Egotistic, illogical, a bit short of crazy.

I like to think that it's not crazy to get worked up about these kinds of things, but instead, only crazy if I let it show to others.

For instance, if someone other than myself were to read my thoughts laid out here, then they could judge me as socially abnormal.

But that will not happen Diary.

You are hidden just about as well as the thoughts and feeling that I occupy most of my brainpower to.

Author's Note

This is just me venting and putting a light story to it, it's just my brother poking fun at me for cutting my own hair. I think it's a bit non constructive to poke fun at someone for trust issues... But what do you think?